Original subtitles

Look at it.

Look at it.

Fuck!

Bro! I'm sorry, that was kind of mean.

What the fuck, dude? What do you need?

I was lonely.

I need somebody to talk to.

Yo, how much water are you going to drink, bro?

Bro, I'm fine.

No, you won't be fine. You have the world's tiniest battery.

I'm not talking again. Bro, I'm a camel.

Chill.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Chill the fuck out.

I've had this for four years. Dry mouth?

Yes. I told you. It's extremely rare. I'm just saying that I don't think

drinking water is a solution. Are you pre -diabetic? You only have asked

these questions.

You only have gone to the doctor.

I tried to figure this out. I have changed primary care conditions.

Could you just drive? I don't have to pee.

Okay.

I fucking knew it! I knew it!

Don't get mad at me. What did I tell you?

Fuck off!

Two minutes!

Give me one minute chill out No,

chill

the fuck out what's your deal man

Daniel?

Daniel Daniel

I'm not sure that horse is going to win us any friends out there.

You don't like it?

People like it. It's like the road race.

How are we doing?

Good. Keeped off departments that we've heard.

Like we never live here.

Barry, we don't want to put anything in storage?

Nope. No? No.

Okay. No way.

Feels good to make a clean break.

Besides, everything we need is right here, right?

Home sweet home.

Mm -hmm.

Hey, got your little song.

No, it's like a housewarming gift.

Do you need some help with that? No, it's okay.

Thank you.

I'm going to help you with it because my guys are so tired. Okay, yeah. All

right, let's get this over with.

All right.

Oh, my God.

It's the little Bob Ross.

Do you like it?

Perfect, baby. Thank you.

Once Bob always says, no mistakes, just happy accidents.

No mistakes, but I've got no accidents either.

Amen.

You still checking this thing?

Just making sure it still works.

Okay. We're not going to need it, though.

I got us something better.

No? No.

Thank Christmas.

Thanks for the job, lady.

My family always drove one of these.

This guy's gonna keep us safe.

Yeah, I'll just stick with this.

Then I guess you're going to hell.

Get out of the video.

Let's go.

Ready to go? Mm -hmm.

Okay. I was thinking maybe we could add a brie pizza.

How brie?

Very good.

Local barbecue sauce. It's supposed to be invisible.

All right. Mm -hmm. What do you think?

Okay, it's a plan B.

Be cute.

You like that one. Come on.

Got the recipe in a stick.

And it's, like, super tight.

You know?

Right. But beautiful.

Romantic hot springs.

I can't wait.

But we need a little barbecue on the way.

Perfect.

Uh -huh.

Yeah. Really?

I'm sure you can't hold it for another hour. We're 30 minutes away. 45.

Ha.

What's that for?

Six weeks on the road.

Wow. I know, right? It doesn't feel that long.

Well, I was actually going to say it feels way longer.

Oh, really?

Thank you.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Wow. Yeah. Okay.

All right.

Hi,

what's going on?

Oh, wow.

Wow.

This is amazing. When did you do all this?

This was gonna be, like, way more romantic. I swear, I had the whole thing

planned out at the hot springs.

But if we survive six weeks on the road, then we can survive anything, baby.

So... Maddie Breaker, will you marry me?

No camera on the residential street. Yeah, oh, right. You got 50 seconds

I call the cops. All right, we're going. Sorry.

Oh, my God.

I swear that isn't a battle.

Yeah All

right

back

there

to the way No

Spring for a hotel.

A long, hot bath does sound amazing.

Right. Tea.

Yeah. Maybe a massage.

There's one about an hour from here that's not too far away.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Okay.

Hey,

you must be a beast. Come on, let me drive you. No, no, I'm good. Come on.

I'm good, I'm good. No, no, you be passenger, princess. Let me drive, Doc.

Hey. Come on.

I can drive for a minute.

Matt, you're looking at the road warrior.

Your road rage woke me up

Yeah,

there's been a crash. He hit a tree. It was straight off the road.

Uh, yeah. Where are we?

We're on Forest Road.

We're on Forest Road?

Yeah. Yeah, you guys better hurry up, man. If it's not, we're good.

Hi. Hi.

We need help.

Something's holding back in.

Go, go.

Hey, man.

You OK?

We are.

of hot water right what's wrong with the dab cam but it cuts out right before

the crash happens come

on it is weird

come on let me give it a rest for tonight huh

please

undivided attention.

Good. I got an idea.

Tomorrow's a van life meet up. How about you let me go?

Not beyond the road.

Come on, you slowpoke.

Careful.

You can do that. I'm coming.

You can, you can. I'm not gonna try.

What the fuck?

I saw these on the car last night.

What?

What do you mean, like, be crashed into it?

No.

I mean, I saw the exact same marks on his car.

Three scratches, just like that.

Yeah, well, his car was all types of things, though.

We'll get someone at the vanity to buff it out, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, good idea.

I think we found your surprise.

No doubt.

With disrespect, you know.

Hi. Hey, man.

You're Brad Fuller, right? From Vandalize Channel?

Yeah. I've been a subscriber of your channel forever. I've seen all your

like a hundred times.

Fuck him.

Uh, she's nowhere near as sleek and sexy as yours.

But you know, we gotta face our build -up.

Still working on it.

We're back.

Not back.

This is Maddie. Hi.

She did the interior design.

Yeah. Last job before I retired.

Good for you. But honestly, nothing beats a... Yeah.

I even feel like I breathe different out here.

Yeah. That looks nasty.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had a bit of a rough night.

Yeah, uh, we got kicked out of the street we were self -camping and, uh...

-hour gyms. We parked there. They're your friends from now on.

They won't give you the knock.

And they got hushed out.

How about a tour of the castle?

Yeah, of course, man. Come on in.

Yeah, I'm gonna go stretch my legs.

You want me to come with? Uh, no.

No, it's okay. I'm fine.

Hope you made it. I know, thanks.

It's depressing, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, a little.

Let me get.

Good. How can you tell?

You don't have that obnoxious glow of a first weeker.

Oh, how long have you been out here?

I lost count two decades ago.

Oh, Maddie.

Diane, good to meet you. So, um...

You've been to a lot of these?

Not so much. I just stopped in to see how Betty was doing.

Yeah.

Um, how long did it take you to, you know, fully adjust?

Longer than two months, honey.

My fiancé, like, two hours.

Oh, not what you expected.

We both needed to change a pace, and it's been an adventure, for sure.

But I don't know. It doesn't quite feel like home yet.

But we'll get there. What do you think?

You headed west?

Yeah. You?

Flagstaff. And I've got a friend who has a little seafood restaurant in the

middle of the desert.

Go figure.

Great. Well, that was a big travel.

You too.

Road can be a scary place.

We were driving and the guy just came out of nowhere and crashed right in

of us.

It's awful.

Did you stop?

Wait.

You seem a lot brighter than somebody's jeffy.

Whatever you and your man are looking for, it's not out here.

Oh, no, we're okay.

No, I am serious. You listen to me.

You stay off the quieter roads. Don't drive at night. And if you do, don't

Don't ever.

What are you looking at?

Trip state people.

Maddie?

Hey. Take care, Maddie.

I went to you up there next time I'm back.

Hmm, making friends, huh?

Uh, yeah, I thought so.

Hey, I got something to tell you.

Uh, yeah? Yeah, come on.

Hey,

you want some popcorn?

Anything different?

You fixed it.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a tank job guy.

Oh, wow.

How much did he charge you?

Well, he said he wanted to reset his current balance, so I did it for free.

Yeah. Mm -hmm. Okay, you're networking.

Mm -hmm. Like the old days.

All right, I'm keeping up.

Wanna go for a ride?

Check out these guys!

I mean, I had a couple of gigs, but why not?

Oh, yeah?

Oh, my God.

hmm

Ugh.

the dash cam okay let me show you okay he's on here where

do i go what just how it works baby

but he was he was in that guy's car the other night he was in

his car and i saw it look he's right there

Nobody there, baby.

Hi, what do you look like?

What do you look like? I'll go find you.

I don't want to sleep here.

Please. Hey.

Make some birds.

Bob really was your happy place, huh?

No matter what home I got moved to, or where I was, watching this guy

do what he loved, beat the one cocked back at Hannah.

I guess to me, that meant he was kind of helpful.

Having both your parents under the same roof don't make it a home.

They look perfect, but behind closed doors, people

get... Trapped in life they don't want.

But this van, you, is my way to escape all of that.

It's even got your spelling.

It's going in the bag.

It's got to.

This place is like a gold mine.

Like the opposite of gold.

Nothing in here of any value, and yet I want it all.

We're gonna need a bigger van.

We're gonna need a bigger bag, that's for sure.

That's true.

Yeah. So, uh, tonight, at the campsite, I was thinking we'd cuddle, or maybe

just... I can't!

Oh,

no, no.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Good.

Can I come to show you?

What? Come on.

What is this?

Welcome to the Sprinter Cinema parody show.

Whatever happened back there is late.

behind us it's long gone it's like 100 miles in the rear view i think tonight

could just be in the moment i mean it ain't much but it's home a roman

holiday courtesy of the gyms free wi -fi oh very good well there you go

My boy.

You know, we actually get to bed right now.

Oh, yeah?

How's that?

She goes home by herself without Joe at the end. Right. But us, we get married.

Yeah.

We get to keep doing this forever.

Forever?

I mean, eventually we'll have to go back to reality, right?

Well, actually, Gary, my old boss, called me American. Oh, yeah?

When I was doing my old job back.

Said I could do the thing completely remotely and there's even a pay bump.

Pretty good, right?

Yeah, wow.

That's, uh, great.

You don't exactly sound thrilled.

Oh, uh, I don't know how long this is sustainable.

I really want to try and find some more sleep to sleep every night.

I haven't worked out lately.

What is going on right now, Matt?

You haven't even put your ring on yet.

Sue, you should always wear my clothes.

Sue, I do.

It's not that I don't love you.

I do, I love you.

I don't love this life.

You know, I grew up always being shuffled from one foster home to the

never had a home home like you did. You know that's not always cracked up to be.

You see, the thing you're running away from is the very thing I've been

searching for my entire life.

I thought this is what you wanted. You and me, together, on the open road,

unshackled from our death. I'm good.

I did. It was fun in the beginning, but I... Alright, so

like... You want to slow down?

I want to... I want to...

You

want to stop?

Yeah.

Head back to Brooklyn. Maybe we can get our lease back.

Look at me.

How are you feeling?

You love this.

Being free.

And I never ask you to give up your dream.

I'm just worried that no matter what direction we take, One of us will end

up...

Switched out.

But we'll be fine. One of us will end up white.

What just happened?

I'm not sure.

What is that?

I don't know time.

Hey there.

Hey man.

You saw that, right? Yeah.

You see anything?

You gotta go.

You gotta go.

The key.

The key.

I don't have the key.

Don't break it.

they use these symbols to warn each other this

is on our van and the car that crashed

right so we just Dump it.

Yeah. We burned the van.

I don't think it works like that.

From what I read.

Not the van.

We need to find Diane.

Who? The nomad from the van meet.

He tried to warn me about that. What do you know about her?

She was headed to Flagstaff to work in a seafood restaurant.

There can't be many of those.

Flagstaff is a straight south of here.

Let's go.

No, no.

He said not to drive.

This thing only comes out of dark, right?

So either you wait around...

Hey. Yeah. Why?

Oh, it's all right.

I won't take it. They were here, right?

I know.

They were just here.

They were.

Oh, God.

What do we got here?

Oh my god.

I lost you baby.

We have to go.

We're looking for Diane.

Diane? Marston?

Don't know her.

Can't help you.

Diane. Her name is Diane.

We were told it was this camp. We know it's this camp.

Whatever you guys got yourselves into, we don't want any part of it. Just

point us in the right direction. Take your Airbnb on wheels and get out of

What are you doing here?

Diane.

Hey, um, hi.

Is there some place that we can talk in private, please?

Why?

Don't follow us.

Oh, my God.

Get back in your van and get the hell out of here. Now. Right away.

Let's go.

Come on, everybody.

Pack up.

Get inside.

Lock your doors. What are they doing?

Lock up. Lock themselves in. These are good people just trying to get by. Who

chose to bring evil into this camp?

We had no choice, okay?

He's been following us everywhere.

And he's going to keep coming. What is it? He's a highwayman from hell. An

abomination. I don't know what it is, but it's unholy. Something demonic.

He'll have his fun by causing wrecks on the highway, hungering for pain, death,

suffering. When it marks you, most people don't last more than a couple of

The fact that it hasn't killed you yet means it's enjoying the ride.

All right, so...

You lived on the road so long and now run into it.

Why didn't you go? Because you stopped.

We're terrible.

You see the warning signs and most importantly, we follow the rules.

I'm sorry to say, whatever you do, don't stop.

What do you want from me?

What did you do?

There's going to be some kind of way we can beat it, right? I heard him.

What?

The first time he attacked me, he let go when our St. Christopher medallion

touched him.

There's a story from a long time ago.

There was this trucker who got away. He sought refuge in a church outside of

Grand Junction.

St. Christopher Church.

If you can get there, that might be your best hope.

Okay, okay. What do we do when we get there?

Then Christopher's Holy Ground just might weaken its power.

Get it there.

Maybe you can kill it. If that doesn't work, you crack it.

It's a salvation.

Hey, I'm going to find this place.

It's not on any map you'll find. How do we get there? Come on. It's on a dead

-end road in the middle of a desert.

You need to know how to read this.

Oh, really?

Thank you.

No, we've got to get a move on, though.

Get in your van.

I'll meet you over on the other side.

Run, guys.

going to drive.

I know,

but I said we really will drive in that direction and try every back road we

can, right?

Better than waiting around to die.

I'll get that. You go get it. Okay.

I was not saving up.

You were not saving up.

We got more of these in the back.

When he was younger, he wandered the roads within a mad monk.

One morning, the monk suddenly stopped in his tracks, terrified by a cross on

the side of the road.

Christopher then realized he wasn't traveling with a man of God.

This was a demon.

A demon who takes the form of a preacher as an act of blasphemy.

Diane said he's been around forever.

Christopher's our gossip.

For everything holy, there's something unholy.

any time.

We gotta get back to town.

What is that?

You have to know how to read the signs.

Hold on.

Bag? What are you doing?

It'll be a one -way trip.

Just trust me.

That symbol is from the homo code.

It leads this way.

But there's no fucking road there, baby.

Someone or something put that symbol there for us to see.

It was him.

Don't run!

the road. The church has to be on the road.

Thank you very much.

Oh my goodness.

You think they're fun?

Get a guard dog. Yeah.

Would it take out every night? Yeah.

Never fucking man.