Original subtitles

Who's dealing? You or me?

Me.

So, one card for you,

one card for me...

Three for you, one for me.

Four for me, one for you,

five for me.

Shit card!

You play a weird game!

You don't want it? Calm down!

I was just asking.

How many cards do you want? Three.

Give me a chance?

This is a bad hand.

I'll show you, you pathetic jerk!

My time has come.

Dad!

Seen that magnificent sight?

Show your hand. Okay, keep cool!

You... Don't interrupt

or I'll smack your face!

When I marry, you can buy me a truck like that.

I'll take two cards. You? None? Got what you need?

Two for me.

What a construction! Show-off!

Dad, for my wedding.

Four sevens.

- Brilliant construction.

- Fuck your construction!

Dad, look!

I've told you before... Don't interrupt when I'm playing!

Dad loves you and you piss him off.

Cards are like hookers.

Flighty-

Who do you think I am?

I can bluff.

Maxim Gorki's here! The Russians!

Look at this. Poker!

Maradona!

Zare, move it!

Give me back my eggs!

Comrade, how much for the horns?

Ten marks.

Ten marks.

I'll give you five.

No way, ten.

- Why horns?

- Shut up!

They're recycled commodities, stupid.

One set, five marks. One million, five million marks.

Exactly.

And the washing-machine, exactly?

300 marks.

Great machine, top quality.

Okay, I've got a deal for you:

220 marks for the horns, washing-machine and computer.

No way, 280.

250

- It's a deal! - Shake on it.

- Need a hand? - I've got it.

This side.

Dad!

Dad!

They fucked us again!

Come and see.

It's water, not diesel.

What?

Water! Come and see.

Pure diesel.

Water! The barrel's full of water.

The whole barrel?

Cold rain falling in the early morn...

I don't get it.

Why's she got binoculars and a grater?

Money for the baby in her belly.

For the operation.

My grandmother thanks you.

What? It's twins. She had a scan.

Piss off, fucking gypsy!

The gate!

Halt! Who goes there?

Hello. Who are you?

Matko Destanov.

Hands UP!

Hands UP!

Gander, over!

I was thinking of going off tonight to Hungary.

To the fair in Pécs.

Go to any fair you like, but don't come back without a fiancée.

Get it?

Hello, Mr Grga, chief.

Little Birdie, you're back?

I've never been here before.

- You came 5 years ago. - Me? No.

Don't contradict me.

We met but you weren't living here.

A man of your importance moves often.

Eight years ago.

Eight? Impossible.

Oh, yes, yes.

My compliments. What a memory!

- Look me in the eye. - I am.

Why are you here? No lies.

I'll do anything for your father.

He saved my life twice.

In Genoa and in Marseilles. I know.

He beat up half the city for me,

to get me out of jail.

He's a real gent!

He was. May he rest in peace.

Who?

My father. Since last year...

I've been an orphan.

No one to support me.

Alone and abandoned.

No one to help me.

You shortened his life. You're a swindler, a hoodlum, a gambler and a vagabond.

That was just for a while.

I've seen the error of my ways.

I've pulled my finger out, as they say.

Uncle Grga, I'm onto this great deal.

What? A train.

20 tanks full of petrol.

Petrol?

But what's the use?

Since father passed on,

no one helps me anymore.

The big shots usually handle those deals.

They'll cheat you. You're green.

No, Uncle Grga.

It's all worked out. No fuck-ups this time.

It's all down in black and white on this fax.

You're lying, always lying.

Don't come back without a wife!

More swindles?

Smile, for God's sake!

I received an urgent fax,

it's all written here.

Every detail!

Little Birdie...

Come here.

Gander? Are you there? Over.

Here, Uncle Grga.

It's all explained here in this fax.

We invest 70,000...

What, boss?

Gander? The workers can go and so can you.

Okay, boss.

Take a break!

If you lend me 70,000,

I'll pay back 100,000 in a week.

You see that?

I see it, Uncle Grga.

What a lot of dough you've got!

I'll help you for your dad's sake.

Don't bother to pay me back

but I want a report on this amazing deal of yours.

If not, I'll send my grandsons to rip you limb from limb.

- Is that clear? - Crystal clear.

Mad as a hatter... Millions! Maradona!

You said grandad was dead!

He's old, he's in hospital, he's as good as dead.

He owns that enormous gravel separation plant and I'm penniless.

Zare, son... With this money,

dad'll guarantee your future

and your children's.

Leave me be. I'll never forgive you.

Zara!

Zara!

Come and see this wonder!

What an invention...

Only Germans could invent that.

Dad, promises...

Son, when I'm rich, I'll make a ship-owner of you.

Dad“.!

Here's our benefactor.

Pitbull!

Terrier...

Luck is with the hardy.

You fucker, I feed you and that's how you thank me?

Fall of the dice.

Welcome, my brother! Who's that?

Suck my dick, bitch! I only asked...

There is a God!

What are you looking at? Killjoy.

Read your book!

You wanted to see me?

I'm sick of working with these thieves.

What are you waiting for? Give him a drink!

I've got this ace deal. You?

It can't go wrong.

The deal of the century.

My contact in Jordan

is selling me a train full of petrol!

- A bargain. - So buy it!

I'm broke.

So I want to bring you in on it. To pull strings.

No need to pull strings at customs.

As they say in Bulgaria:

If you can't solve a problem with dough,

solve it with a lot of dough!

Your drink.

What's that?

Whisky in a liqueur glass? You hate Gypsies?

Fuck off, bitch!

Piss off, all of you!

You too, fuck off! - You're on his side.

- No. He's lying.

Scum!

I have no racial prejudice.

Right, Matko?

You've always been tolerant since you were a child. Sorry.

I can drink from the bottle.

No way! Cheers.

Here's to our job!

He's so cute...

Your son's old enough to marry.

Zare? He's under age but mature enough.

Is he honest? One hundred percent. It's important to me.

Lucky bastard, you live like a real man.

Not like me with this riffraff...

Fucking junkies! Just try that again!

Don't complain, you're not short of anything.

What's the use? Can you tell me that?

I've made a success of my life.

My house is as big as a castle.

2,500 square metres.

My dad's tomb... There not another one like it.

Pretty, isn't it? Very pretty.

So why are you crying?

- Don't cry. - Why not?

- Why shouldn't I cry? - Nice castle...

- The shame of it! The shame! - What?

I carried out father's will

but I can't marry off my sister.

The shame!

Don't worry, brother, it'll all work out.

Let's clinch our deal together!

Cheers!

Hello, Aksim?

I'm in the shit. Help me! I heard you've got a singer...

who can pull nails out of wood with her ass.

Go and serve the customer!

He'll come over. Go and water the pole.

What's her name? Black Mobile?

Shit, cut off again! This phone's the devil himself.

The devil! The line's cut again.

This phone's the devil himself!

Shit! Go and water the telephone pole!

I can't finish my business.

She's making my blood boil...

You, come here!

Who? Me?

You're not waiting for someone,

you keep following me.

I just want orangeade.

Sure!

Go and water the pole. Hurry! Take a bucket.

Go and water the phone pole.

What a guy!

Water it!

Hello, Aksim? I can't hear a thing!

Water the thing!

I can hear you fine now. Loud and clear.

Put your singer on the fast train.

She starts tomorrow.

My orangeade...

You'll get it when hell freezes over!

Music!

My darling grandson!

I've got your things.

What did the doctor say?

He says if you don't give me hell, I'll live to a hundred.

- Your liver? - Burned out. It's no good.

You can't drink then.

What? I'll be drinking again!

For the hell of it!

This is a hospital! You can't play music here.

Nurse, that's enough!

Just think if all the patients brought a band along.

Nurse, you have no right to get angry.

A token of my respect.

What a life!

Great hooch. My gut's on fire.

Grandson... I have some important news.

You've no mother, your father is a jerk.

- I've sold the plant. - You've sold it?!

Vanished into thin air. I sold it to that crook Dadan.

I took the money. Your future's ensured.

If you need money, go to my friend

whom I haven't seen in 25 years. His name's...

- I know. Grga Pitic. - You know him?

You've told me you were friends a thousand times.

He's a six-foot giant with hands like shovels.

He has two rows of teeth.

One gold, one normal.

He's as elegant as a vampire.

Music! Aggression!

Shoot at me!

Here, have a flowerpot!

Old woman, I don't give a shit about death!

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Boss, I challenge you to tell them apart.

Our whisky's better than the original.

Because our technology's better.

Where are you, boys?

Here, grandpa.

Sit down.

That's enough, boys.

Where have you been?

You know, I was looking for a bride.

We've done 28 fairs.

Has he found a wife?

Answer me, you big fool!

You find women everywhere for fun and flirting. But not for marrying.

How come? All your friends are married, with kids.

At your age, I'd been married four times.

A soul mate?!

Just find yourself a girl!

Don't get mad! Tell us about the fifth one

who stole your heart.

Tell us the story.

My little dove...

You could've put her in your coat to warm your heart.

My little dove...

Blood is thicker than water.

You knew

she was meant for you.

That's what I want.

When? You're waiting for me to die?

Can't you get married nicely when he asks?

I had another stroke yesterday. I'm almost blind.

- Again? - Again.

I'm telling you one last time: find yourself a wife.

Take me to hospital to recover.

I'll come out for your wedding.

Get me a granddaughter-in-law.

Okay, grandpa.

Piss off, kitty!

Black cats are dangerous.

Mincha, my brother...

See to the passenger train, I'll do the goods one.

Here's the train!

One...

Two...

Three...

Five...

Six...

Nineteen...

and twenty!

Everything's in order.

This deserves a toast!

I was scared stiff of being conned.

The train was promised and a promise is a promise.

And dough is dough.

You have it now.

I was shitting bricks when it crossed the border.

- There'll be no fuck-ups now? - I promised.

Cheers!

Why are you hiding?

I'm the fucking law around here.

Stop, young man!

That briefcase is for me!

I've greased everyone's paw! Everything's okay.

Where's the rest?

That's all, by the holy cross.

It's a mistake.

Your soul stinks!

- I have to kill you. - No!

Shame on you!

There's Little Birdie. Fast asleep...

My briefcase...

Give me my briefcase back, motherfucker!

I fuck your dead!

Come down, animal!

Give me my briefcase!

I'm coming up!

The time has come for you and me...

to look each other in the eye.

Just you and me,

you second-rate motherfucker!

Here I am.

Wait...

Fuck, it's high...

Dadan, my brother.

Dadan, it's me, Matko!

- The train's not here. - What?

Did it cross the border?

Answer me! Where are the 17 wagons I paid for?

It arrived 30 minutes ago.

It's here somewhere.

Here? Where? You can't lose a train!

They drugged me, I slept ten minutes.

Who did it?

That glJY-

- He did it. - That fat slob?

My Bulgarians at customs didn't see the train.

They're lying. It's a frame-up, they'll pay for it.

A train goes on tracks, not a forest trail.

Where is it? Right, boss?

Fucking right!

Ladies and gentlemen,

after a triumphant tour in North Africa, Asia and Australia,

Black Obelisk is with us tonight, here on the peaceful banks of the Danube.

This act is unique in the world.

She'll pull a nail from a plank in a spectacular way!

It wasn't an ordinary fight.

He was like King Kong.

Who?

Me.

That fucking Bulgarian! He's not an ordinary man.

To get through that door, he'd have to turn sideways.

Your name?

Rambo.

Let's have a big hand for this young man called Rambo!

Hold your breath now... ladies and gentlemen,

the great, magic, spectacular moment draws nigh.

A sight that once seen is never forgotten!

I suggested a fair fight then and there.

But he went and hit me in the balls.

I grabbed his hair, twisted his head...

He went mad!

The most important thing is I saved my hide, right?

You'll return the money to me by 2300 hours tonight.

If not, I'll hang you from the windmill.

For astronaut practice.

Poor 9UY~

Got the money?

I'm in the shit.

Three wagons were for me. I invested all I had.

I've had a brainwave! We can settle this differently.

I called at the hospital and bought the plant.

- Dad's plant? - I paid him a good price.

He'll tell you.

It only covers two thirds of what you owe me.

I have a better idea. Even better.

Your son's old enough to marry.

I have to marry my sister off.

We'll arrange a quick wedding

and write off the debt.

Anything but that!

Why?

I bet on the nail!

Your name?

Don't soil your soul! How can you suggest such a thing?

Your sister's 25, my son's 17!

So? Young men go for older women.

It's not only that, Dadan.

- What then? - You know what...

She's like a midget.

People call her Ladybird.

So? Diamonds are tiny but still precious!

Anyone want to place a bet?

Hands off!

It's a deal, shake on it.

No, I've just realized...

I know who stole my train and drugged me!

And managed to hoodwink my father! My inheritance has been stolen!

Safet! Cossack dance!

I see it now! My father was fooled!

Last chance!

The hour of truth!

I love your big ass!

Attention!

One, two, three, freedom!

What're you doing?

Is this free?

- What'll you have? - Orangeade.

- You there! - Me?

Get me an ice-cream.

I'm not some kid!

You're always following me,

so make yourself useful.

- Right? - Exactly.

Clear off!

Strawberry or vanilla?

Strawberry and vanilla. Four scoops.

What's up?

You're in a hurry?

I want to tell you something.

Where were you going?

To drink my orangeade.

Too bad about your wedding.

I was thinking: he's young but he's cute.

I'll fall in love.

And now you're getting married.

Married? Who's getting married?

You're all I think of!

I keep coming here for you.

It's over. Don't bother now.

Someone lied to you. Someone wants to hurt me.

I'm serious. I'm too young to get married.

You're getting engaged though.

I overheard your father and Dadan

at my grandma's inn.

They agreed on it last night.

Too bad. Here.

Dadan took the whole plant. The motherfucker!

And he wants my head too.

You know how many people he's cheated.

He's taken the train and the plant. What more does he want?

What else?

His own fucking mother's cunt!

The Russians are here!

The water's nice.

There's another thing...

Dadan wants

to fix a wedding to clear my debt.

A wedding? Whose wedding?

Our child, Zare, and his sister.

The one called "Ladybird".

That horrible, grouchy midget?

The one a metre and a Gillette blade tall.

We have to seek help

from my friend Grga Pitic.

- Come with me. - It's too late.

Grga Pitic... is dead.

Dead?

God rest his soul.

I've stayed sober...

but I need a shot for his soul.

Grandpa!

My grandson...

Handsome boy, isn't he?

Come and be introduced.

Hello, miss.

- Seen her? - Who?

The girl!

No.

The nurse.

They call her "Candy Drop".

Look at those tits, that body,

that ass! All in miniature.

It's love at first sight or nothing.

Love at first sight! Rubbish!

The son of your late friend Zarija came.

He asked for help.

All his money was stolen.

Let me and Little Grga handle the shits.

We'll skin them alive

and fill them full of lead!

I'm coming too. I want to see his grave.

Whatever, grandpa.

It was just an idea.

No one listens to me! I'm talking to you!

- I'm not marrying like this. - Shame on you!

Let me do my job, please.

You're my number one enemy!

You're no brother,

You're a bully!

You want our parents to curse me from the grave?

I won't do it!

I'm not getting married!

I'm waiting for the right man to turn up!

- Waist 26 inches. - Who is he?

Tell me! Who is he?

When I see him, I'll know him.

I've seen him in my dreams. I know how he looks, his eyes,

his face, his lips.

He's tall, very tall...

You think a tall man would want you? Idiot!

You're a metre and a Gillette blade tall!

- He'll appear before me... - Chest 34 inches.

Shut up! Piss off!

Safet!

The cooler!

Stop pissing me off in my own home!

Let me go! I'll marry the man I love!

Pull!

Sis... What can I do?

Dad's watching you, sis.

Made your mind up?

I'll turn you into a fountain!

Fuck your... Carry on!

I'll marry the man I love! Bully!

What about your soul?

Our parents are watching!

They can't see, it's cloudy.

Raise your hands!

Dadan! Life's treating you well!

Move, let the lady sit down.

- Congratulations.

- Something to drink? - Coffee.

- That's all? - That's all.

Do you need a hand?

Ask that idiot Matko about that.

Do the food, I don't trust him.

That vampire bitch

and the ape woman are both married.

Only the little one's left.

They call her "Ladybird".

That dwarf?

Yes, in the wedding dress.

Best of luck to you!

No chance!

I've come about our business.

What business, Sujka?

About you and my Ida getting married.

She's caught your eye.

My Ida.

You won't find a prettier girl for miles around.

I've raised her from a baby.

I've taken her all over the place...

To spas to make her beautiful...

To buy her fine Italian clothes, we went to Rome,

- Naples and Genoa. - The liar!

She's seen the world.

I even took her all the way to Sweden.

I know. To beg.

Better than rummaging through bins the way you do!

What's your asking price?

Give me 35,000 marks.

Grandma!

15,000 in two instalments.

I wouldn't marry for that!

17,000 in three instalments?

Make it a lump sum...

and never let me set eyes on you again!

Your grandma's selling you like a cow.

Never!

Carry me!

Come on, carry me!

You're a funny guy.

Now, kiss me.

Kiss me, stupid!

Fucking tie!

Save me. Don't let them marry me off!

I'll drink his blood!

Calm down.

Give me the gun. Calm down.

- The gun! - I'll kill him!

Shame on you!

Give me the gun!

Don't get carried away.

I'll show him!

I know what to do.

- I won't! - Listen to me...

- I nearly died. - Listen...

Dadan, her brother, is a war criminal.

He'll wipe us all out.

- He'll drink our blood. - Look, she's minute.

Oh, mirror! The dead with the dead, the living with the living,

children with their fathers.

You can get divorced in two months.

The dead with the dead...

I don't want to marry!

I don't want to!

I'll stop the wedding today... In a very elegant way.

Zara!

You'll be punished for this!

You'll do your military service in a zoo!

Fuck your dumb pubescent brain!

Where is he?

- Who? - Your grandson.

Sit there and play. Great!

Where is he? You want Dadan to make mincemeat of us?

Where's my son?

Who knows? Should I care?

- Where is he? - No idea.

Come out of there!

Don't try to hide your shoe.

Shame on you! It's disgraceful!

The dead with the dead, the living with the living...

The dead with the dead...

Grandpa! Grandpa!

He's not breathing.

Grandpa's dead!

Come on!

He's dead!

Come on, Grandpa's dead!

His heart's stopped.

Dead?

Dead on your grandson's wedding day?

His wedding day...

Grandpa's saved me! He's saved me!

Once I finish mourning, we'll run away.

You need a suit, shoes, a bow-tie...

Wreaths and candles...

He's definitely dead.

Is that you, Matko, you pussy-hound?

You're early. You said eight.

Where's my son-in-law?

I have something to tell you.

It's urgent. We have to talk in private.

I only want to hear happy news today.

I'm listening.

My father's dead.

- For real? - For real.

- My condolences. - What can we do?

Weddings and funerals don't mix.

He can die three days from now.

He just died this morning!

Who says that? Who knows about it?

Me and Zare.

I came straight here to tell you. We have to mourn for 40 days.

I'll join you... but in three days.

You're a wise man,

you haven't stopped the wedding?

I have to.

You want my dad to spin in his grave?

Of course not.

Don't tell anyone about the old man.

Does he care if he dies on Wednesday or Friday?

Death is forever,

regardless of when it starts.

- You heard nothing. - No.

We didn't hear a thing.

Me neither.

Fetch the guests, then come for the bride.

- Okay, Dadi. - Cheers!

- He won't listen. - What?

Even if we have to attend as corpses,

the wedding must take place.

I won't do it!

You want him to rip my head off?

Hold this.

For your soul, dad.

Grab his legs. Up to the attic.

Zare, turn him sideways.

Fetch some ice.

Go on, quick!

Go on!

Don't do this to me! You don't need money anymore.

Put his legs on the chair.

Call Grga Pitic's grandsons back!

I left six messages already. They never answer.

They've vanished.

Dad, forgive me.

Put this on the bride's head.

- Put It on her head. - I don't want to!

Go!

Take the child for luck.

This is the greatest day

of your lives.

A unique day...

if I may say so.

It's the great day of your lives.

Please answer the following questions

before the witnesses, concisely.

Please don't dawdle.

Just "yes" or "no".

Do you...

Zare Destanov...

of your own free will,

take Afrodita Karambolis as your lawful wife?

Karambolo.

Yes.

Yes.

And do you, Afrodita,

you beauty... You little darling...

Do you, of your own free will, take Zare Destanov as your lawful husband?

She said okay.

She agrees. Okay's no good. "Yes" or "no".

- A concise answer. - Yes.

Yes, then.

To be honest, I see no legal objections.

I simply declare you man and wife.

In my presence...

and that of this gathering.

See to the meal.

I don't want to.

You know how heavy my hands are.

Lightning in one hand, a thunderbolt in the other.

Sign here, please.

I can't wait at his wedding.

What do you care?

As the registrar of the village of Surduk,

I hereby confirm the marriage

of Zare Destanov and Afrodita Karambolis.

- You're crying over him? - Yes!

Cry then.

Go ahead, cry.

I'll buy you a white carriage And half the world

And three houses Bigger than America

Little girl You've won my heart...

If you were mine, little girl You'd live like a queen

A queen by day An empress by night

Your health, Dadi!

A genuine businessman patriot!

Come and dance, little sister.

I can't.

Free them.

Honour your brother-in-law, he's a respectable man.

Dance with me, it's the custom.

I don't want to.

All right. It's your wedding.

Freedom!

Dad, I hope you can see this!

Let's see who spent the most on a gift.

A portable record-player

from Nada Adzovic.

Zudija Adzovic has bought them a table vacuum cleaner.

Spaho Ahmetovic has bought pans.

Don't give in, pal!

I'll check what state dad's in.

Stay here and don't fuck things up.

Djura Petrovic bought this crap...

Don't let them see you crying.

Stay here and don't fuck things up.

- I'm a Pitbull... - Terrier!

I'm going up to put dad on ice.

Shame on you!

You live like a tramp. Mend your roof.

The roof's fine.

It's dad who's leaking.

Don't cry.

You want to marry someone who doesn't love you?

No.

Neither do I.

- Do you love her? - Yes.

Help me get away then.

- What? - Help me escape.

There's a trap-door

under the table, six feet to the left.

It leads to the fuel store.

Could a man be fucking happier anywhere else?

Be honest for once in your life, dad.

Please, tell me where you hid the money.

Safet!

Hand grenades.

Hand grenades?

Where's the bride?

Don't ask me. Ask the businessman patriot.

Listen, everyone!

The bride has fled.

Boss, the bride has fled.

Boss, your sister's run away!

My sister?

Zara!

My sister...

Stop it, sis.

Don't get so upset.

Your brother won't abandon his beauties.

I'll find the culprit!

How did she get out of her dress and escape under the table?

You let your wife escape under your nose!

What did you do, motherfucker?

What did you do?

- Did your sister escape? - No, yours!

So why are you crying? Fuck off!

Junkie bitches!

Why's she here?

I saw Munchkin go.

What did you call her?

Munchkin.

Shame on you!

She's not Munchkin to you,

she's my sister, you bitch!

Don't you know who I am?

Go to hell!

It's not her fault, she knows nothing.

She knows all right.

Stop it! Everyone calls her Ladybird or "Munchkin".

Grandpa!

Grandpa? Come back down to earth!

Grandpa!

Let him go!

Don't bother Grandpa, he's dead.

He knows nothing.

- Where is she? - My ear! Ida!

Don't touch him!

Where is she? She hasn't evaporated.

Speak, you fools! Tell me or I'll slaughter you all!

Don't turn your back on me. Look at me!

- It's okay. Do I shoot? - Later.

Dad“.!

- What're you doing here? - Dadi! I'm stuck!

I have important news.

My balls are jammed!

Disgraceful. Mend your roof.

Fuck the roof! I saw the bride.

- Where? - At the dead tree.

Safet!

No, not that way, pal! This way.

The bride went this way!

I love her...

I'll marry her...

Can you hear, Grandpa?

Yes, what is it?

We can turn back. I'll sort things out

with Little Grga.

Visit his grave some other time.

No, now! Who knows how long I'll live.

I know but it's 100°F in the shade...

I can take it.

Zarija deserves a visit.

Fine.

I was just thinking of you.

Afrodita!

Sis...

I won't hurt you!

There!

My sweet sister!

All's well that ends well, I suppose.

She's not here.

Maybe she's in the woods.

What a disgrace, a bride fleeing her wedding!

A scandal. People will talk about it for years...

BoHocks!

I'll find her in time.

Boss, a shoe!

Sis!

I'll kill you...

Wake up! We've been dumped!

Stand up! An earthquake!

Every time I listen to you, I lose my way.

This map's a hundred years old.

Little Grga, are you listening?

Where did you find this?

HEY

Are you sleeping?

I'm up shit creek!

Fate, hmm?

What's fate?

All this. I'll marry you after all.

Yes.

Fancy Ladybird being so brave...

No one else

stood up to Dadan before.

I'm scared.

What of? We'll drop him in his own shit!

Compliments, lad. It's a great idea.

I thought I was having a vision.

But it's fate.

My other shoe?

Don't worry, we'll find it. This is fate, no doubt about it!

Of course.

I was waiting for my soul-mate.

Me too.

I looked high and low and found her when least expected.

Me too.

Let's get acquainted then. I'm Grga.

Me too... I mean,

I'm Afrodita Karambolo. They call me Ladybird.

If you agree, let's celebrate this.

- Sister... - Stop it!

It's a misunderstanding.

Why shoot like crazy?

As for you, the shit's gonna hit the fan!

You'll pay for this!

If the young lady has debts, I'll pay.

What are you staring at? Action!

Grga!

I want my sister!

I'll fill you full Of lead!

Screw you! Come here, sis.

You're a shit driver, you jerk!

You lost both your grandpa and your brother!

Look what I've found.

Stay away or |'|| P|U9 YOU-

I mean it! I'm not joking.

Sister-in-law...

- Who are they? - Your gun!

Stop!

Look, she's my sister. Get it?

The problem is, she ran away from her wedding.

- She's my problem now. - And he's mine.

Give me my sister and go. She goes with me, pal.

If you're her brother, let's work something out.

I want to marry her. Let's do it right now.

She ran away from her wedding!

You can flee a phoney wedding but you can't flee fate.

Pretty accurate!

Who's that shithead?

Throw down your guns!

Call yourself a driver? Stupid!

You took the wrong road.

Yes, but look what I've found.

Pretty!

Take it easy!

There's no need for this.

Are you well, Consignor Grga?

You good-for-nothing...

What're you doing here?

Just having a chat...

A chat?

Come to repay the debt?

You know each other?

During my last stay in Italy in '82,

he was a trainee in my gang.

The worst sort.

He cost me my contracts for the Trieste and Udine dumps.

Over by the river!

You don't want to marry her?

No, I want this one.

We'll see.

- Right now! - Shut up when you speak to me!

Do you want my grandson?

Yes!

You've nothing against your sister marrying my grandson.

It's fine by me if they're in love.

What are you sulking for?

What's wrong?

The money for the plant...

and the fuel trucks to be paid back.

D'y0u know how much it is?

- He pays now. - Of course.

And the wedding must start now too.

The wedding can start! Music! On me!

It's good love has won out.

Cheers!

- Did he drink it? - Not yet.

My beauties.

I hope there are no complications.

You'll be swimming in your shit!

Uncle Grga, do you need anything?

Have fun, I'm going to see my friend's grave.

Grave?

- Tell me where it is. - Uncle Grga...

Don't you want a drink first?

Take some refreshment...

There are vampires in the graveyard now.

It'll be dawn by the time we get there.

Okay, as you wish.

My servants will take you there.

Which graveyard?

It's pay-off time!

Traitor.

It's only fair.

Try to have fun now. Eat and drink.

Your sister is happy, so is my son.

The same goes for our benefactor...

The bastard!

- What's up? - Look.

What's the matter with him?

He's dead.

For real.

No. He can die in two days, like your dad.

We carry on. I can't marry my sister a hundred times!

- Am I right? - You bet.

Shall we take him to the attic?

His grandsons think he's at the graveyard.

- What about the registrar? - Who?

He has to cancel the first wedding and do the second one.

Don't worry about that. I'll fetch him.

Okay, everything's cool, huh?

- Bastard... - Eat your shit!

Two sixes.

Here...

Fuck, it's sweet!

It's natural, so it's sweet.

Fifty marks.

Listen, Dadan...

500 pairs of horns times 5 marks makes 2,500 marks.

We'll have it made in Dusseldorf.

Are you crazy? You want to wager the horns?

Hold on, Dadan,

act like a gentleman.

I wager the plant.

You've already lost it. You signed it away.

Okay, I've got the house.

You've lost that too, moron!

You still have...

your fancy gold tooth.

Want to stake that? 500 marks?

What's all this ice?

- Piss off! - What's up?

Motherfucking black cat!

I'm soaked, it pissed all over me.

My brother...

- We aren't dead, are we? - Yes, we are.

I know I'm not dead.

But they said you were.

That's not true.

They lied to you. I'm alive.

Dad, I'm glad you're back among the living!

Fucking hell!

The cow's dead, there's no more milk.

Grandpa!

Your father's alive.

I'll inform you of the clauses

of the law governing marriage...

and marital relations.

I wish you a happy life.

Live a long life...

and love each other.

Remember

that you're here today to perform one of life's greatest tasks.

Be jealous, not of each other... but of your marriage. Guard it preciously

and protect it from temptation.

Treat it...

While you were dead, I was going to run away.

What was that?

A wise decision. The sun never shines here.

Fuck the lens! Carry on!

Do YOU agree?

This is hard for me.

I drank a bit at the funeral earlier...

Remember the accordion. Inside, you'll find

what you need to live happily.

Jesus Christ! The register of deaths, not marriages.

Are you nuts, you junkie?

My reputation!

Want me to call the cops?

Here it is!

Everything's okay.

The signatures. First the brides, then the grooms.

You can't marry two brides!

Calm down, it's okay.

Stick to procedure.

Do you, Afrodita Karambolo

take Grga Pitic, Jr.

As your husband?

Yes.

Do you... Grga Pitic, Jr...

take Afrodita Karambolo as your wife?

Yes.

Sign here then.

By the powers vested in me, I declare you man and wife.

Just a second, it's not over yet.

Get me out of this shit! Come back!

I can't work in these conditions...

Here he is.

It's so beautiful!

Hurry!

We're not married yet!

We'll see to that on the way.

Mr Dadan, you're in the shit.

Stop dawdling. Get on with it! I cannot work in this chaos!

You can!

There's a standard procedure. Drop that gun!

I'm doing my duty.

- Don't shoot. - Shut it!

We'll miss the boat!

- The kids got balls! - He's right!

Zare, my grandson!

You're young, you don't understand.

What do you want?

To marry!

The accordion!

Come back and finish the ceremony!

Stay away!

- Sit down. No need. Your witnesses... - Just here.

- Where? - The cats.

Scumbag!

- You stink, boss! - Fuck your mother.

Yes!

Do you, Zare Destanov,

take as your wife...

Of course.

Children!

Travel safely!

How about a quick drink for tradition's sake?

Grandma!

Dad, you screwed me. Congratulations.

You old fucker!

This is chaos!

Good stuff...

Thanks for everything, dad.

This hooch is burning my soul!

Ah, children...

Dadan, my brother!

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

You stink, my friend!