Original subtitles

(birds chirping)

(children chattering faintly)

(dog barking)

(laughter)

-(birds chirping) -(traffic rumbling quietly)

(children chattering faintly)

(faint, indistinct chatter continues)

STELLA: We never speak about what happened in Belfast.

-(bell jingling) -(quiet chatter)

♪ ♪

Perhaps because beforehand we were so full of hope.

-CHILD: Hi, Mrs. Gilmore. -YOUNG STELLA: Hello.

(gunshots)

(children screaming)

♪ ♪

STELLA: But a single day can change the course of any life.

(medical monitor beeping)

(babies crying)

♪ ♪

Leaving Ireland, leaving our home...

...alone,

unmoored, adrift.

-And now... -GERRY: Five?

...we seem to have become exiles from each other

and the promises we made.

(blows softly)

The promise I made.

♪ Oh-oh, yes ♪

♪ I'm the great pretender ♪

("The Great Pretender" by The Platters playing)

♪ Pretending that I'm doing well ♪

♪ My need is such ♪

♪ I pretend too much ♪

♪ I'm lonely ♪

(over radio): ♪ But no one can tell... ♪

Bye, then.

Bye, darling.

Sure I can't tempt you?

What's that?

(Stella chuckles)

♪ I played the game ♪

♪ But to my real shame ♪

-(door opens) -♪ You've left me ♪

-(door closes) -♪ To grieve... ♪

(dogs barking in distance)

CONGREGATION: ♪ Snow had fallen ♪

♪ Snow on snow ♪

♪ Snow on snow... ♪

PRIEST: The body of Christ.

-James... -Amen.

...chapter four, verse 14 tells us

you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.

What is your life?

You are a mist that appears for a little while

and then vanishes.

On this night of the year more than any other,

we are reminded to cherish those...

STELLA: I just wanted to say, have a lovely Christmas.

-Oh, happy Christmas, dear. -Yeah, so nice to see you.

-Yeah. -See you soon.

Okay.

Good night. Happy Christmas to you.

-Merry Christmas. -Good night.

(chuckling): Oh, sorry.

(sighs, sniffs)

(groans, sniffs)

(locks clicking)

STELLA: I'm back.

(chuckling): It's freezing out there.

(Gerry snoring)

(sighs)

(snoring continues)

(classical music playing faintly over headphones)

(sighs)

(faint, distant chatter)

♪ ♪

(door opens)

(sets plate down)

(takes deep breath)

(printer whirring)

(choral music playing quietly)

STELLA: It's ringing.

It's the answer machine.

-GERRY: Leave a message. -Aye.

(phone beeps)

Hi, Michael. It's Mum and Dad here.

Not sure what time it is

-where you are. -GERRY: Merry Christmas, son.

Give Toby a kiss from Granddad.

(chuckles)

Just calling to see how you and the family are settling in.

You know, first Christmas in your new abode.

All right, well, uh, we're around, so...

Lots of love.

(choral music continues playing quietly)

What's this?

Surprise.

Don't tell me. Don't tell me.

(Stella chuckling)

Shoes.

(both chuckling)

It's a little something-- for both of us.

GERRY: Amsterdam?

I thought it was time for an adventure.

That's... fantastic.

(both laughing)

-(stammers) Flights, hotel? -Mm.

You've outdone yourself, Mrs. Gilmore.

Start the New Year off with a bang.

You'd better believe it.

(both laughing)

(sighs) You and me.

Me and you.

♪ ♪

GERRY: Do you have the passports, or do I?

STELLA: Passports, eye drops, phone charger.

All in your shoulder bag.

GERRY: What about my special shampoo?

STELLA: That, too.

Uh, what's the limit again?

That's six minutes.

Someone whose opinion I trust

once said I was flamboyant wearing this.

I was never entirely sure whether that was a good thing

or a bad thing.

Oh, no, the knot's all wrong.

-What? -Here.

(Gerry sighs)

STELLA: Right.

-(Stella giggling) -Don't choke me.

-It's tempting. -(laughing)

-All right. -There.

-That's better. -Yeah. That's good.

-Okay. I'll... -Right.

Oh, that's seven minutes. I'm calling them.

(car horn honking)

Uh, there's the taxi now.

Oh!

Right. Uh...

-Uh, case. -Right.

-Is that everything? -Uh, yeah. Think so.

Sure? (sighs)

(locks clicking)

♪ ♪

(indistinct chatter)

Well, some people have more luggage than sense.

There it is.

GERRY: Where did you say the shampoo was again?

(indistinct chatter)

Sweet before takeoff, modom?

(chiming)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: For everyone's comfort and safety,

would you please place all hand baggage

under the seats in front of you

or in the overhead lockers, providing they will close.

Oh. Nearly forgot.

What?

-Stop you from being sick. -How?

It's a wristband.

Someone at church recommended them.

Presses on your pulse point here.

I'd be better off saying a prayer.

Please, God, don't make me vomit on this flight.

(Gerry laughs)

-(bells chiming) -(birds chirping)

♪ ♪

(sighs)

-STELLA: All right? -GERRY: Yeah.

STELLA: Looks nice.

-GERRY: Hello. -STELLA: Hello.

-RECEPTIONIST: Hello. -GERRY: How are you?

RECEPTIONIST: Welcome to Amsterdam.

STELLA: Thank you.

-Oh. (sniffs) -(Gerry clears throat)

(Stella chuckles)

-(sniffs) -(bell dings)

Here we are.

(Gerry grunts)

STELLA: Huh. Hard to tell.

GERRY: Let's try this way.

Yeah, this is it.

(groans, sighs)

-Try the other one. -(sighs)

-(beeps) -BOTH: Oh.

-There you go. We're in. -(laughs)

Let there be...

-...light. -(chuckles)

Oh, very nice.

Oh.

It's bigger than I thought.

It's lovely.

GERRY: Yeah.

STELLA: Oh, would you look at that gray sky?

(horn honks in distance)

Maybe next time, you book somewhere

in one of the sunnier hemispheres?

(Stella chuckling)

Time to test the bed.

-(groans) -(Stella chuckles)

-(sighs) -How is it?

Hard as a brick runway.

(both laugh)

(sighs) Perfect.

In fact, uh...

I might have a wee snooze.

Oh, it's the middle of the afternoon.

So?

So, you never take a nap in the middle of the afternoon.

Yeah, but we're on holiday. It's always different.

-You don't mind, do you? -Oh, if you insist.

-Half an hour. No more. -(both laughing)

Chocolate, sir?

Oh, thank you, modom.

(Stella chuckles)

(Gerry sighs)

Oh, lovely.

This is the life.

(Stella chuckles)

(Stella chuckles softly)

♪ ♪

-Ooh. -(both chuckle)

(elevator bell dings)

-Ah. Hello. -Hello.

Good evening.

Um, could you recommend somewhere not too pricey

-for a drink this evening? -You are in the right place.

Amsterdam is so full of options.

-Right. -Oh.

(traffic light clicking rapidly)

-(distant siren) -(lively chatter)

(bicycle bell dings)

("The Mermaid" by Folksurprise playing)

♪ And the ocean waves do roll ♪

♪ And the stormy winds do blow... ♪

STELLA: Trust you to find the only Irish pub in Amsterdam.

God, a well-built ant could piss more.

STELLA: And that's a double.

You're learning.

Killing you with kindness.

You and me.

Me and you.

♪ This pretty mermaid has warned me of our doom... ♪

I suppose we're lucky to have each other to ignore.

(laughs)

♪ And the ocean waves do roll ♪

♪ And the stormy winds do blow ♪

♪ And we poor sailors are skipping at the top... ♪

The arrogance of amplification in a space this size.

You used to like this one.

♪ While the landlubbers lie down below ♪

♪ This pretty mermaid has warned me of our doom ♪

♪ We will sink to the bottom of the sea ♪

(singing along): ♪ For me ♪

♪ And the ocean waves do roll ♪

♪ And the stormy winds do blow ♪

(fading): ♪ And we poor sailors... ♪

♪ ♪

GERRY: You know, it's Ireland's greatest export:

a bullshit lesson on how to enjoy yourself.

-That and the car bomb. -Oh, would you...

Would you come away from the edge?

-Gives me the weirdest feeling. -What does?

STELLA: Come on.

-GERRY: All right. -All right. Hold my arm.

You're a liability, you are.

(bathwater running in other room)

(reporter speaking Dutch over TV)

(bathwater continues running)

♪ ♪

-(birds chirping) -(children chattering faintly)

(chatter in Dutch over TV)

(bathwater continues running in other room)

(bathwater stops)

(splashing in other room)

♪ ♪

(TV continues in other room)

(Dutch chatter, laughter over TV)

(water splashing in other room)

(bathwater draining in other room)

(grunts softly)

(changes channel)

REPORTER (over TV): Unlike the Provisional IRA,

the new IRA possesses limited weaponry.

It's enough to mount a campaign but not on the same scale

as the paramilitary groups of the past.

Following its ceasefire in 1994,

the Provisional IRA decommissioned

the bulk of its arsenal, much of it supplied by Libya...

On and on it goes.

Aye.

Are you, uh, done in there?

Aye.

MAN (over TV): Forensic examination has revealed

that some of the weapons seized from dissident Republicans

trace back to the original stockpiles

of the Provisional IRA.

There are some figures, some senior leadership figures,

who never bought into the peace process...

(TV continues quietly)

(TV shuts off)

S-Stella.

Have you seen my statins?

Stella.

My statins-- have you seen them?

(Gerry sighs)

Have you looked in the wash bag?

-Uh... -(Stella sighs)

STELLA: Mm. There.

Sorry.

(exhales sharply)

(breathing deeply)

♪ ♪

(bell clangs)

STELLA: It's a religious community.

GERRY: A convent?

STELLA: Uh, no, uh, more like a sanctuary.

I think it's that way.

GERRY: You think or you know?

'Cause having a map and knowing the way are not the same thing.

STELLA: Oh, shush.

GERRY: Here.

Behold.

The Begijnhof.

-In there? -Mm.

-Lead on. -(both chuckle)

♪ ♪

(Stella sighs)

(chuckles)

(hushed): It's home to some of the oldest

buildings in the city.

For women who wanted to live alone.

A sisterhood of unmarried Catholic women.

In the 1600s, Catholic worship was...

was banned by the Protestant powers that be.

Why are we whispering?

(Stella laughs)

Public mass wasn't allowed,

so they used to do it in their own homes, you know?

In secret.

Yeah, which is why it doesn't look like a church

-from the outside. -It's camouflaged.

They lived like nuns but...

without all the... all the vows and what have you.

Hmm.

Reminds me of van Gogh's prison yard.

Nonsense.

Excuse me.

Uh, is-is the church open yet?

(Irish accent): Which church were you hoping to see?

(laughing): Oh, you're Irish.

-She's Irish. -(Gerry chuckles)

Guilty as charged.

Waterford originally, but I've lived all over, really.

County Derry.

From a townland nobody's heard of

-in a place nobody knows. -(chuckles)

Do you live here?

Oh, yes, I'm one of the lucky ones.

And what brings you to Amsterdam?

Well, um...

we're not getting any younger, so...

-(chuckles) -(Stella chuckling)

And tell me again,

which of the churches was it you wanted to see?

The Catholic one.

Oh.

It's just through here.

Oh, thank you.

-Okay. -Gerry.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

GERRY: "The miracle of Amsterdam."

Ye olde graphic novel.

"In the year 1345 in the city of Amsterdam,

a man lay dying in a house on Kalverstraat."

Solid opening gambit.

"A priest came and gave the man communion.

"After he had gone, the sick man felt so unwell

that he vomited up the sacred host..."

-Lovely. -"...into a bowl."

That's really put me in the mood for lunch.

"The man died the next morning, and his maid,

"she threw the contents of the bowl into the fire.

"However, the following day,

"when the maid checked the fireplace...

"...there it was, the host...

...untouched by the flames."

♪ ♪

The priest had this place built to commemorate the miracle.

Which was?

The indestructible host.

Well, it seems a bit...

minor league as miracles go.

You know, a fireproof wafer.

You know as well as I do, Gerry,

that miracles come in all shapes and sizes.

Stella, what happened to you was not miraculous.

Right, it was perfectly within the bounds of possibilit...

♪ ♪

(bicycle bells dinging)

(speaking Dutch)

(case pops open)

GERRY: Every time I open my glasses case nowadays,

I'm pleasantly surprised to find my glasses.

Now, that's a miracle.

The model married couple.

I think you can see how much he cherishes her.

Why is she protecting her stomach?

♪ ♪

(quiet chatter)

(Stella groans softly)

Everything all right?

Oh, my feet are throbbing.

I've been on my pegs all morning.

Ah. You're not going to chicken out, are you?

No, no. It's a pit stop.

Okay.

Look, I can't not see The Night Watch, so...

-No. -So, um, why don't we meet

in the café in, uh...

-30 minutes for a bit of lunch? -Sure.

Okay?

All right.

See ya.

♪ ♪

(quiet chatter)

(Gerry exhales sharply)

That cold, it would cut right through you.

(both sigh)

(Gerry groans)

(both sighing)

(Gerry grunts)

Ah, God.

STELLA: Oh. (chuckles)

GERRY: Oh, yeah. (chuckles)

(both continue sighing)

Would-would you look what these socks have done to me.

Egg timer.

Look. Feel it.

Uh, no, I'm happy to forgo that at the moment.

(Gerry groans)

Oh, God.

(Gerry grunting)

Stop it.

(groans) The only thing that feels better than this is...

-You'll make it worse. -(chuckling)

Oh, I know you shouldn't, but when you give in, Stella...

-when you give in... -You'll draw blood.

-(Gerry grunts) -(Stella sighs)

(sighs)

Oh, that's better.

(breathing heavily)

What?

(Stella chuckles)

(Stella chuckles)

(Gerry grunts)

Help us with this, will you?

(both laughing)

Gerry?

Hmm?

Do you ever think about where you'd like to be buried?

Other than with you, you mean?

At home or in Scotland, I mean.

Is Scotland not home?

What happens when all of this stops?

Then...

there'll be no more.

And what'll be the point then?

♪ ♪

-(bell tolling) -(birds chirping)

(quiet chatter)

-(glass clinks) -(drink pouring)

(grunts softly)

(drink pouring)

(water running)

-(loud thud, Stella gasps) -GERRY: Fuck! Jesus!

-Stella! (groans) -Yes, I'm coming, Gerry.

-I slipped. -Oh, come on.

-(grunting) -Come on.

It's all right. It's all right.

God... (laughing)

-Oh, God. -It's no laughing matter.

All right.

Wait a minute. Let's get this on you.

It's all right. It's all right.

(Gerry groaning, panting)

Get your legs over.

All right, come on. One at a time.

(Gerry grunting)

I could've been a goner.

-Oh, shh. You're all right. -(shuts off water)

-There. Oh. -(groans, pants)

-There's no bath mat. -Oh.

(Gerry breathing heavily)

Every bath should have a rubber mat.

I know. I know.

Oh. Oh, you're all right.

Come on, now. Steady. Steady.

-Oh, you're shaking. -(grunts)

-(continues breathing heavily) -Good man. Good man.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to laugh.

♪ ♪

-(groans softly) -You all right?

Yeah, yeah.

(cork squeaks, pops)

GERRY: Oh, just pour away.

-SERVER: Sure? -GERRY: I'm sure it's fine.

Ah.

-STELLA and SERVER: Thank you. -GERRY: Thanks.

(Stella clears throat)

Moderation in all things.

-Especially moderation. -Moderation.

Mm.

(Gerry grunts softly)

There's something I'd like to talk to you about.

Gerry, I'm tired of living the way we do.

-(scoffs) -I keep...

I keep f-feeling at a loose end,

you know, at home.

What with Michael gone, and-and it doesn't sound like

there's going to be any more grandchildren.

What's my role?

What if we've cut the cloth of our lives all wrong?

There's too...

great a sense of drift.

And I keep thinking... I...

I keep thinking, Gerry, that I-I...

I want to do something better.

What do you mean, better?

Better in what way?

I want to live a more devout life.

It's an unfashionable word nowadays, I know.

Well, there's nothing wrong with you, is there?

Not in any physical sense, no.

No, no, yes, but hang on a minute, Stella.

-Just hang on. No, it... -No, no, no, there's nothing

wrong with me.

Gerry, calm yourself. No.

(Stella sighs)

But I'd like to make an appointment.

You know, the place we... we visited this morning.

Just to speak to someone.

I mean, the talk was that it's a good place

for women like me who want to live a more religious life.

A-A community of like-minded women

interested in-in exploring the big questions.

And there's somebody in there with all the answers, is there?

These are questions that you have to answer

for yourself, Gerry.

(Gerry scoffs, chuckles)

We should order. I'm famished.

(faucet running)

(faucet stops)

(Gerry continues brushing teeth)

-(brushing stops) -(faucet running)

(Gerry grunts softly)

-(Gerry grunts) -(faucet stops)

Did you take your statins?

Yeah.

(both sighing)

(Gerry sighs, grunts)

(birds squawking)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(Gerry sighs softly)

(quiet chatter)

Thank you.

(Gerry clears throat)

Uh, are you, um...

...any...

easier in your mind about yesterday?

See, I'm trying to remember what was said.

Unlucky with the weather, haven't we?

-Stella. -Let's eat. We should eat.

(bells chiming)

(bicycle bell dings)

(Gerry grunts softly)

(bicycle bell dinging)

Oh, she's thought of everything.

(quiet chatter)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(espresso machine steam wand hissing)

What is it, love?

Do you remember Schindler's List?

At the end?

The pebbles on the gravestones, the little tokens?

I noticed something similar at the end, on the wee shelf.

I used to do that book with so many classes in school.

And so I thought... (chuckling)

I thought, "Why don't I leave something?"

Yeah, and what's wrong with that?

Oh, it's stupid.

-Says who? -I've no right.

Why? It's a perfectly legitimate gesture.

No, it's shameful is what it is.

-I'm not even Jewish. -Ah, come on, Stella.

Don't take things so seriously.

Gerry, if you can't take the Holocaust seriously...

You know what I mean, right?

You felt something, right? You took action.

-You did a thoughtful thing. -No. No.

I did a selfish thing to make myself feel better.

There's a difference.

Why is anything spiritual so impossible for you to grasp?

Cake?

Cake?

(sighs)

♪ ♪

(birds chirping)

(breathing deeply)

BARMAN AIDAN: How you doing?

GERRY: Pint of stout. Thanks.

And a...

("Sideways to the Sun" by Horslips playing quietly)

...large whiskey, no ice.

(drink pouring)

(breathing deeply)

Are you, uh, from Derry?

-Donegal? -Derry.

GERRY: Ah. I studied there for a while.

-Magee College. -Oh, yeah?

Yeah. A bit before your time, obviously.

Don't tell me.

Accountant?

Architect.

Same again?

♪ To play old airs ♪

♪ We said we could be friends... ♪

GERRY: Graduated in the mid-'70s,

and then as luck would have it, Liam McCormick took me on.

He was a big architect in Belfast back then.

And then they burnt the entire bloody place to the ground.

Petrol bomb.

No one was killed, thank God.

Aye, but all that work, though, you know?

Years and years of hard work up in smoke.

Ireland's fight for fucking freedom.

It wasn't long after that that we left.

To?

(sucks teeth) Glasgow.

Miss it much?

Work?

Home.

♪ ♪

You know, um...

we used to have these scale models.

There was, uh, cars the size of Dinky Toys.

Trees as small as those little cotton buds.

You know?

Tiny figurines.

Mini churches, libraries, streets.

Windows were made out of cellophane.

They were minuscule.

They were dis-architects, those fellas.

The end of human decency, in the name of religion.

I can still smell it.

The black char.

(drink pouring from tap)

Yes, they certainly leveled my career, anyway.

Strictly third division after that.

("The Old Rustic Bridge" by Big Tom and the Mainliners playing)

-That was on a good day. -Hmm.

Ah, would you look at the dome on that.

(chuckles)

Norman Foster, eat your heart out.

(chuckles)

♪ Though now far away ♪

♪ Still my thoughts fondly stray ♪

♪ To the old rustic bridge by the mill... ♪

Taste...

texture, temperature, perfect.

(chuckles softly)

Some people say the black stuff transforms you,

you know, brings out the worst in you.

Not me.

-I love people. -(chuckles softly)

I've always loved people. I'm a people person.

(both chuckling)

(lively chatter and laughter outside)

♪ ♪

Stella.

Do you know what I'd like to do tonight?

What?

Something fun.

(lively chatter)

GERRY: The railwaymen would leave their burning lanterns

outside the bordello doors.

Red lanterns.

-Red-light district. -STELLA: Charming.

Oh.

I hesitate to say what turns me on,

but this certainly isn't it.

I just feel so sorry for them.

Aye.

The lighting is awful.

(chuckles) I know.

That's UV lighting.

The same thing the butchers used to use to kill the flies.

(both laughing)

I know.

("Uit M'n Bol" by André Hazes playing)

(song continues with singing in Dutch)

GERRY: An ant could piss more.

Before you English had gin, we had jenever.

I'm not English.

With a beer, it's very good.

(conversation continues indistinctly)

Here we go.

-There. -Oh.

What are we drinking?

-Jenever. -What?

Jenever.

First you drink the beer, then you drink the, uh...

-Jenever? -Jenever.

-Ha. -Cheers.

Cheers.

Ah.

-(sets glass down) -(Stella exhales)

(laughing): Holy Mary, Mother of God.

(both laughing)

Same again?

(Stella laughing)

What bliss to be away from all that noise.

Aye.

(Stella laughing)

(bell tolling)

-(gasps) Gerry. -Huh?

STELLA: Look.

Come on.

(horse huffing softly)

♪ ♪

(horse huffing softly)

Oh, you're beautiful.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(Stella chuckles)

-(bells chiming) -(birds squawking)

(rustling in other room)

-(Gerry sighs) -Morning.

What's that for?

Body.

Think it would do anything for my body?

(Stella grunts softly)

What's the occasion?

Oh, thought I'd go back to the Begijnhof again.

The vomiting miracle place?

Uh, d-do you want me to go with you?

No, thank you. Mm.

♪ ♪

STELLA: Oh.

(clears throat)

Good morning.

I wonder if you could help me.

(Hennie speaking Dutch)

Oh.

Thank you. (clears throat)

(typing)

(quiet chatter)

(breathing deeply)

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Uh, uh, I have a plane to catch.

-A flight. -Please sit.

No, no. (stammers)

-Is there anyone else that I... -Hello again.

-Oh, hello. -(both chuckling)

-Um... Sorry, just... -Oh, sorry. No, no, no.

(Kathy and Hennie conversing in Dutch)

-Hi. Um... -Hi.

I'm sorry. Hennie is very busy right now.

But maybe I can help you with something?

That would be lovely, yeah.

My house is just down there.

Right.

(sighs)

The gardens are so beautifully kept.

KATHY (chuckling): Yeah.

In the summer, they're extraordinary.

Especially in the evenings, with the night-scented stock.

Oh.

It's so quiet.

KATHY: It's a meter lower than the outside world.

The noise goes over its head somehow.

This is me here.

Oh.

(Stella chuckles)

(lock clicking)

(traffic light clicking rapidly)

♪ ♪

Stairway to heaven.

The only disadvantage is when you want a grand piano.

Maybe stick to the violin.

(Kathy chuckling)

Oh, it's lovely.

Minimalist.

Sit yourself down. I'll make us some tea.

Thank you.

("Something in the Air" by Thunderclap Newman playing)

♪ Lock up the streets and houses ♪

♪ Because there's something in the air ♪

♪ We've got to get together sooner or later ♪

♪ Because the revolution's here ♪

♪ And you know it's right ♪

♪ And you know that it's right... ♪

KATHY: So, what can I do for you, Stella?

STELLA: Well, um...

Oh, do you need sugar?

-Uh, no, thank you. -Oh.

I suppose I just wanted to make an inquiry.

I was in Amsterdam some 30-odd years ago.

KATHY: Mm-hmm?

Teacher training conference.

Are you a teacher, Stella?

-I was. -Me, too.

Oh. (laughs)

For years, I was an Irishwoman living in Scotland

teaching English.

An Irishwoman in the Netherlands

teaching comparative religion and maths.

(chuckling): Oh. Right.

Well, that was when I first heard about it.

You know, the setup here.

Ah...

But back then, uh, there was no urgency.

What's the urgency now?

I want to live a more valuable life, Kathy.

To make a contribution.

However small.

You know, so...

I suppose, really,

I just wanted to find out about the life here, you know.

How someone like me might go about applying

to become part of this.

This?

The order.

The sisterhood.

(sighs) Stella, I don't know where you've been getting

your information from, but...

there's no religious order now.

Not anymore.

There hasn't been a sister living here since 1971.

(stammers softly)

What is there?

Affordable living for anyone who can afford it.

(stammers softly)

So the sisterhood is a figment of my imagination?

No. The sisterhood is real.

But the religious aspect...

the religious aspect has all but disappeared.

So I've got this all wrong.

It's possible still for women to live here.

The only criteria is that you must be prepared

to live by yourself.

Older than 30, younger than 65.

That rules me out, then.

Oh, no.

I don't believe it.

The other hitch is that I'm married.

(sighs)

Though I'm not sure how much marriage we've got left in us.

("Something in the Air" continues)

♪ Lock up the streets... ♪

Can I ask you...

Are-are you...

A Catholic?

Right.

Do you still practice?

You know, prayer and so forth?

(chuckles softly)

Kathy, I... I want to tell you something.

(chuckling): It-it's something I've never really told anyone.

I was involved in an accident.

This was years ago.

It was our first summer together as husband and wife.

I was pregnant.

I mean, very, very, heavily pregnant.

It was unseasonably hot.

Uh, too hot for tights, anyway. (chuckles)

Somebody was ambushing somebody else.

I'm not sure how long I'd been running for,

but all of a sudden, running became falling,

and falling became...

not moving.

Sprawled.

At first,

I worried that I'd wet myself.

And then I-I thought, you know, it-it must be my-my waters.

You know, my waters must have broken.

-KATHY: Mm-hmm. -(Stella sniffles)

But then, of course, I realized.

So I said a prayer.

As I lay there on the street not-not-not knowing

one way or the other what was going to happen.

(crying): I said the only prayer I could remember.

As an act of contrition, and I-I knew that wasn't right.

I knew that wasn't what I wanted.

I mean, that's to save yourself.

I knew that, and I wanted to save my baby.

So I said...

I said, "Lord...

"spare the child inside my womb...

...and I will devote the rest of my life to you."

"Lord, let my baby live,

"and I will devote the rest of my life...

...to you."

Now...

...either it was a miracle

or, as Gerry would say, the wee one must have ducked,

but the bullet passed right through me,

in one side and out the other.

The only damage was that

I wouldn't be able to have any more children.

But that vow...

that pledge...

Kathy, that bargain...

...there is a debt to be paid,

and I've been looking for a way to pay it ever since.

I've never breathed a word of this to-to anyone,

not even to Gerry.

(sobbing): But here I am...

...at my age, and...

...and I've failed.

I'm a failure.

(shuddering breaths)

("The 7 Last Words of Jesus Christ Sonata IV. Largo" plays)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(breath trembling softly)

(door opens)

-(vehicle engine idling) -(vehicle door opens, closes)

(hotel door closing)

♪ ♪

-(waves crashing) -(birds squawking)

-(waves crashing) -(birds squawking)

(camera shutter clicks)

♪ ♪

(music ends)

You still haven't told me how your meeting went.

No, I don't suppose I have.

WOMAN (over P.A.): ...are ready for you to proceed

to departure gate number 42.

(electronic chiming over P.A.)

MAN (over P.A.): If you see any unattended luggage

or anything suspicious, please contact

a member of staff immediately.

(announcement continues in Dutch)

(rummaging)

(twists cap off bottle)

(twists cap on bottle)

(grunts softly)

You'll do yourself damage.

As if you would care.

-Pardon? -You heard me.

Oh, Jesus, give me peace.

♪ ♪

(electronic chiming over P.A.)

(indistinct announcement over P.A.)

-Oh, for God's sake. -Oh.

♪ ♪

(quiet chatter)

Here.

(Gerry grunts)

(sighs)

Gerry, when we get home...

I'd like to put the flat up for sale, and...

and then I want to get a place of my own.

You'd be better off waiting till summer.

More chance of getting a better price.

Gerry, you're not listening to me.

I can't go on living the way we do.

I won't.

(takes deep breath)

I mean, the drinking.

If I mention it, I'm a nag.

If I don't, then I'm complicit.

Do you not think I don't see it?

Smell it?

Yes, I suppose you could go on doing it behind my back

until you've no liver left.

(Gerry clears throat softly)

But it's not just the drinking.

It-it's the deception that goes along with it.

It's ruining you.

Says you.

Well, it's ruining me, that's for sure.

I wouldn't know about that.

You used to be so considerate.

What's happened to you?

These days, you're... you're nothing but appetite.

Okay. Fine, then. I'll stop, okay?

-Right? No, I will. I'll quit. -(sighs)

-Oh, Gerry. -No, look, I mean it.

(stammering): If you're serious about this, then I am, too.

-I've heard it all before. -(stammering): No, look.

I-I can do it, okay?

I... We can... I... (sighs) I can change.

I mean, I gave up the cigarettes, didn't I?

You think I don't know how to change?

Huh?

You think I-I don't know what this stuff is doing to me?

Sure, I hate myself as much as you do when I'm drinking.

Well, then, why in God's name do you put yourself through it?

Because I hate myself even more when I'm not.

What about my faith?

(sighs) What about it?

-We believe in different things. -So?

I mean, we've always known that.

But it's gotten so much worse, Gerry.

I mean... the mockery.

No, I have never mocked you, Stella.

Oh, well, if that's not mockery, then I don't know what is.

It's-it's a debate, right?

We're... No, we're talking about debating the...

the-the greatest deception that we've known

-in our entire lives. -No. No.

(voice shaking): We are talking about...

-...respect. -(scoffs)

Stella.

The joking and the poking fun and...

the derision and scorn.

I mean, it-it...

It's like you-you have no idea how much you hurt me and...

Or maybe you do and you just don't care anymore.

I'm not sure which is worse.

Surely, Stella, then I have to be allowed my truth.

The truth.

You're doing it again.

-You're dismissing me. -(stammers)

(Gerry sighs)

(crying): All I want is to feel close, you know?

It's too much.

(sniffles)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(quiet chatter)

(electronic chiming over P.A.)

WOMAN (over P.A.): Attention, all passengers

for flight BM1463 to Glasgow...

-(announcement fades) -(grunts softly)

It's still chucking it down.

Sweet, modom?

Stella.

Uh...

My being with you is

the most wonderful thing there is.

I adore you.

And when I think of the future, all I think about is you.

And I wish I had been there with you in Belfast,

and I know that I'll never be able to share

in what happened to you that day.

But, um...

I-I-I won't ever...

be able to accept your version of events,

and I'll tell you why.

Because...

passing through this world beside you,

that's the real miracle.

The miracle is you.

(sighs softly)

Uh...

♪ ♪

Look.

Is that a plane?

STELLA: It's not moving.

I think it's the morning star.

Do you think we'll ever get away?

(Stella chuckles softly)

We can only hope.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

("This Time Tomorrow" by The Kinks playing)

♪ This time tomorrow ♪

♪ Where will we be? ♪

♪ On a spaceship somewhere ♪

♪ Sailing across an empty sea ♪

♪ This time tomorrow ♪

♪ What will we know? ♪

♪ Will we still be here ♪

♪ Watching an in-flight movie show? ♪

♪ I'll leave the sun behind me ♪

♪ And I'll watch the clouds ♪

♪ As they sadly pass me by ♪

♪ Seven miles below me ♪

♪ I can see the world ♪

♪ And it ain't so big at all ♪

♪ Well, this time tomorrow ♪

♪ What will we see? ♪

♪ Fields full of houses ♪

♪ Endless rows of crowded streets ♪

♪ I don't know where I'm going ♪

♪ I don't want to see ♪

♪ I feel the world below me ♪

-♪ Looking up ♪ -♪ Looking up, looking up ♪

♪ Looking up at me ♪

♪ Leave the sun behind me ♪

♪ And I'll watch the clouds ♪

♪ As they sadly pass me by ♪

♪ And I'm in perpetual motion ♪

♪ And the world below ♪

♪ Doesn't matter much to me ♪

♪ Well, this time tomorrow ♪

♪ Where will we be? ♪

♪ On a spaceship somewhere ♪

♪ Sailing across an empty sea ♪

♪ Well, this time tomorrow ♪

♪ This time tomorrow ♪

♪ Where will we be? ♪

(song ends)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(music fades)