All language subtitles for The.Money.Pit.1986.720p.BluRay.x264.YIFY

Walter.

I do.

Florinda.

I do.

You've made me
very happy, my dear.

I am happy too.

I wish only that your son
would have come to our wedding.

My son has problems.
How can he have problems

with a father like you?

He has problems
because he has a father like me.

Dear Walter, wedding snap
of me and your new mom.

We won't be coming to New York
for the 2.9 million reasons

you are aware of. Love, Dad.

P.S. Give my best
to the Cheap Giris.

They were my favourite.

Very pretty, your new mom.

We used to be a respectable
law firm. Now look at him.

Looks happy to me.

He steals the money, I get the bills.

Dad, why did you do this to me?

Well, I can see why.
Good night, Walter.

I feel your every breath

I hear the words you say

And I keep turning back

To hear the music play

Play

I'll make no promises

False promises
can break you

How can you call me home

Wanting me like yesterday

Where do we build a house

How do the roses grow

Are you and I in love

How do we really know

If love is on our side

You'll know when
I'm in trouble

That's when my
heart decides

To go wherever you will go

The heart is so willing

To follow

The heart shows the way

Out of the night

The heart roams

In search of tomorrow

When your love takes

The hand that
guides the light

Light

New mom.' How old is that girl?

Good morning, Walter.

Don't they have any laws in Brazil?
Don't they have any police?

Don't be so conventional.

I'm a conventional kind of guy.

That's all I ever wanted to be,
just conventional.

A little house in the suburbs,
a white picket fence

maybe a dog,
2.4 kids

and just to round it out
a wife.

Will you marry me?

Walter

my darling

I love you very much.

But why do we need
a piece of paper

from the state of New York?

One bad experience, that's all.
You just had one bad experience.

Just give me a little more time.

Okay.

But I can't live
this life of shame much longer.

You're gonna have to make
an honest man of me.

I like the kissing part.

Did you hear that?
What?

Somebody just came in
our front door.

Be careful, Walter.

Oh, my God! You're still here?

Boat has docked.
He's here, you're out.

Who the hell are you?

Maestro is back!

I thought he wasn't coming back
until next week.

You know Maestro.
He surprise you.

What are you talking about?
Who is this guy?

I thought I had a year.

You did, but year
has come and gone.

What you do?
You stayed in bed all the time?

Didn't look for apartment?

I did.
There are no apartments.

Yeah, right.

Who are we talking about?
Who is this guy? Who are you?

I'm talking to him,
he won't answer me.

When is he coming here?
Oh, maybe

a minute, maybe an hour.

But he will come.

It's him you're talking about,
isn't it? The lunatic is back.

Yes!

I thought he was in Europe.

He was,
and now he's back, and you're out!

Oh. All right.
I'm sorry.

Look, guys,
why don't I talk to him.

Maybe we can
live here all together.

Wait. Wait.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You're not lookin' at
a charity case here.

If this is his apartment,
we'll get out. It's no problem.

Could you just give us
a few minutes alone?

Sure, I understand.
Have a nice day.

What are we gonna do?

This is New York City.
It takes months

to find a place,
even if you're rich.

And we're broke!

We're doomed,
homeless, penniless.

Doomed.
I'm sorry, Walter.

No, no, no. It's not your fault.

We both knew he
was coming back.

It's just that we've
been so happy lately.

Jack can help us.

Isn't Jack in jail?

No. No, he got off
with a small fine.

Jack's a perfectly legitimate
real estate agent.

Well, as long as we're together.

Nothing bad can happen.
Mmm.

Good morning, Realty Office.
Oh, here's a beautiful place.

It's only an eight-hour commute
to New York City.

You don't get in more
than once a week, do you?

I'll even go to SoHo.

I looked at a loft
there a few years ago.

It was $350 a month.
It's probably gone up, but

SoHo, 350 a month. Let's see,
Eisenhower was president, right?

I'm worried, Jack. I'm very worried.

Listen, Walter,
I gotta take a call.

Meet me at
the jogging track at 1:00.

You won't recognize me.
I'm so thin!

Where have you been?
You're almost late.

Martha, in this country

we have an expressi�n
for almost late.

It's called on time.

You don't seem nervous.
I'm not.

She's not nervous. I'm nervous.

You're hysterical.

How is Walter taking it?

Taking what?
There's nothing to take.

Here he comes!

Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you.

It's a great pleasure
to be back with you again.

I'm sure you feel the same.

When I left, you were
the finest orchestra in the worid.

God knows what a season under
the heavy hand of my esteemed

colleague has wrought.

Let us assess the damage

with the Haydn,
from the beginning.

Bring me higher and higher

Give me lovin'

P-Please me tonight

Jimmy!
Watch it. Watch it.

Jimmy!

Big guy! Big W. What's shakin'?

I've got some papers.
The band has to sign these.

What is it?
Well, it's the Roy Rogers

restaurants we bought into

and I sold off
the Tucson property.

This is their share,
and this is mine.

Now, I figure that cancels out
half my father's debt

but check your records,
make sure we agree.

Walter, what are you
payin' them back for?

Huh?

They're used to people
stealin' from 'em.

This is only gonna confuse 'em.

They've got too much
money now as it is.

You're their manager.
Why are you telling me this?

Because I like you better
than I like them.

But they're your sister
and your brothers.

The uni�n forces me to
allow you to go to

lunch in spite of
the way you've played.

Those of you with consciences
will not be able to eat.

And those of you
whose consciences

match your talents

go stuff yourselves.

I hope you choke.

Jog with me, Wally.

I don't wanna break my rhythm.

How long have you
been doing this, Jack?

Oh, six months. It's great.

Next month I'm gonna run in a 1-K.
Would you believe it?

Before I started this,
I couldn't fit into these clothes.

I feel better. I look better.
I sweat better.

So you called my office.

Do you have some
good news for me?

Good news?

When you hear what I got for you,

just remember this is
a conservative club.

Don't rip off my shoes
and kiss my feet.

You don't have to worry about that.

You asked for an apartment?
Something nice, yet affordable?

Uh, Jack, could you sweat
the other way, please?

Wally, will you listen to me?
Not if you keep calling me Wally.

Oh.
What is that?

Oh, it's nothing.
It's a pulse alarm.

Well, maybe we should stop.
No, no, no.

These things are unreliable.

Walter, can you get your hands on

$200,000 by close
of business Friday?

Well, let me see.

If I sell everything I own,
maybe I can buy you lunch.

Jack?

Jack? Jack, are you all right?

I'm fine, really.
Take it easy, Mr Schnittman.

Has this ever happened before?
Yeah.

Seven times
in the past five months.

I thought jogging was getting you
in better shape.

It is.

Yeah. Thanks to the jogging,

now I can lift him
into the ambulance.

Walter, this is
a million-dollar house, literally.

I just want an apartment.
My girlfriend's

ex-husband returned
from Europe today.

That's nice.

No, we have to get
out of his place now.

It's an uncomfortable situation.

Why would somebody sell
a million-dollar house for 200,000?

Who knows?
A divorce, loan sharks

drugs, sudden death.

The point is: You get to capitalize

on a fellow human
being's misfortune.

That's the basis of real estate.
Have we got a deal?

You are more beautiful than ever.

Thank you. So are you.

Why did we ever get divorced?

So we could look better,
for one reason.

Hmm.

Can I speak frankly?
Anything's possible.

Anna, I have learned

that my life is
meaningless without you.

I know we made
a mess of things before

but I wanna put
the past behind us

and begin again fresh

and at the same time
older and wiser.

Can we do that?
No.

What do you mean no? Why not?
I love Walter.

Walter? What Walter?

Oh, Max, you know
exactly what Walter.

Don't be ridiculous.
He's not even a musician.

Many people aren't.

Anna, please,
I have finally discovered

there is only one person
in the worid who matters to me.

And that's you.
I've known that for a long time.

No. You love me,
and I love you.

You love you.
I love Walter.

Will you stop saying that?
Max, it's over for us. Over.

All right.
Then just go to bed with me.

A few of the Maestro's things.

He moves back in
today, you know.

Yeah, I know. Party's
over for you guys.

You'll have to go home.

Some girl called.
Said she'd taken a lot of pills

and was gonna kill herself
if you didn't call her.

No, no. I get those calls
two or three times a week.

She really sounds bad.

I think she sounds awful,

but she sold six million
records last year.

Walter!
Hey, how are ya?

I gotta get some food right now!

Okay, we promised never
to come to your

place again, but
this is a major crisis.

It's not my place any more.

When your father
took all our money,

you were so nice to us.

You washed my hair.
I didn't forget that.

We trust you.
We need your advice.

I am sure I did not wash your hair.

Look, I gotta get up early
tomorrow and go see Benny.

You see Benny?
He sees Benny?

What's your problem?

We want to change
the name of the band.

You can't do that!
You've spent years and a fortune

to make your name
a household word.

Your name is perfect.
Cheap Giris. I love it.

I'm not sure it's us.
It is.

We wanna call ourselves
Meryl Streep.

No, no. You cannot call yourselves
Meryl Streep.

Maybe she'll be flattered.
No, in fact, considering your act

I think I can guarantee
a giant lawsuit.

Don't take off your coat.
Forget it.

You are not calling yourselves
Meryl Streep.

Come on, we're gonna
go see a house.

A house? Where?

An hour away from everyone.

How about Debbie Reynolds'?

Thanks very much.
Keep the change.

This can't be it.
It's the address.

It's beautiful.

I know.
Somethin' must be wrong.

Well, let's go see.

Hi! Come on in.
Thank you.

Mmm.

Excuse the way the place looks.

I really let it go to hell
since Carlos left.

But the house is beautiful.

Carlos and I were very happy here.

It's all over now.
The living room's in here.

This is great.
Fabulous.

Listen, if you want
any of the furniture, it's all for sale.

Well, I think that we'd like
to decorate it ourselves.

I'd sell it cheap.
I need all the money I can get.

Goddam bloodsucking lawyers
are bleeding me dry.

The floor just needs a little polish.
The bedroom's up here.

I'm trying to save a
few bucks on the

lights for the
bloodsucking lawyers.

I think it's lovely.

There's a tricky step.
I keep meaning to fix it.

What a beautiful bed.

Could I use your bathroom?

Would you use the
one downstairs?

All my personal things
are still in this one.

Oh. Sure.

Happiest moments of my life
since we left Paraguay

have been spent
right here in this room.

You lived in Paraguay?

Ten wonderful years.

Carlos is from Asunci�n.

Or at least he

I'm awfully sorry.

About what?

I don't know actually.

Do you wanna buy the bed?

lI think so.

You know, you think
you know somebody

after 25 years

and then one day

Israeli Intelligence
comes to the door.

Israeli Intelligence?

Last Tuesday.

That's why I've
gotta sell the house.

It turns out,
Carlos was Hitler's pool man.

Mm-hmm.

Ouch!

There's a lot of grounds,
but the maintenance isn't too bad.

I've always done it myself,
but you could hire a gardener.

A gardener? No, no.

I could handle this.
This'd be a piece of cake.

Really?

Fabulous car!

What's it called again?
It's a Lincoln.

They don't make 'em
like this any more.

It's a beauty.

Do you like it? I'll throw it in
if you buy the house.

That's very generous.

I'm desperate.
Can we close?

Well, we need a little time to

There isn't any time.
Extradition is Friday.

Extradition?
I'll tell you later.

I need an answer
by close of business tomorrow.

Oh, you'll have it.

By the way, you have the most

beautifully kept
pool I've ever seen.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

What did I say?

What did I say?

Jack was right.
We can't lose.

Nothing can be this easy.

Sure it can. You know what this is?

This is the short line
in Motor Vehicles.

What?

You go to Motor Vehicles
to get your licence renewed

and you get on this line
that reaches to Spain.

And right next to it is this little
short line with only two guys on it.

But you don't get on
that line, 'cause you

think something must
be wrong with it

otherwise everybody
else would be

on it, so you waste three hours.

I got on the short line once.
It was for farm vehicles.

I want this house.
I need this house.

We need this house.

Could be great.
Say yes!

If we do this,
we do it together.

I'm putting in half the money,
or I'm not going in.

Great!

I thought you'd give
me an argument.

If I had any money, I would.

Where are you gonna
get your half?

Max.

I'll sell him everything I got in
the divorce. What about your half?

I'm goin' straight to the top on this
one Billboard's Artist of the Year.

He, who last year alone
sold 22 million records.

Benny?

Yeah.
Benny himself?

Did you hear that?

The train is coming, right when
we decided to buy the house!

This has got to be an omen.

I can feel it! This is it!
Everything's breaking for us!

You say you have an appointment?

I don't say I have

an appointment, I
have an appointment!

Hi, Mr Fielding.
Hello.

What the hell does he want?
I don't know.

Didn't you ask him? What's

the matter, I gotta
pay you to think?

Hejust told me he wants
to see you. Sorry, Benny.

Oh, well, that makes
everything better.

Walter, how are ya?

Okay, you've seen me. Is that it,
or do you wanna talk too?

I wanna talk.

Figures.

Now I'll show you how easy
I can catch a woodpecker.

All right.
You've got five minutes.

Are you gonna let her do that?

Are you gonna let my mother
clean that carpet?

Thanks, Benny.
Don't mention it.

I made a nice pot roast.
Don't mention that either.

He never eats.

Look, Mom, we're real busy here.
Why don't you go watch TV?

Hey, keep it brief.
I got a chick waiting in the Jacuzzi.

I wish I had
a hundred more like him.

There is a house I want to buy.

Let's just cut to the chase, okay?
What do you want?

I want you to loan me
$200,000 in cash.

No.

Benny!

You shout at me?
I shout at you!

I need that money,
and you're gonna loan it to me!

I will not! No! No! No!
Yes, you will.

Yes, you will! I saved you
ten times that in taxes last year!

So what?
Benny, if you don't

loan me that money, I'll

You'll what, huh? You'll what?
I'll not like you any more!

All right.
Thanks.

Great!

Great!

They bought it! All right, gang!

Way to go!

Not again.

Anyplace you would be

Is certainly so perfectly
good for me

That any old hammer and nail
I find

Just makes me
high on sunshine

Settling in our duds

Discovering the wonderful
highs of love

A little brush and polish
and you'll see what I mean

We're sittin'on a dream

Step through that door

You'll see a grand room
with a view

And a new moon for two
out there

And just like real water
from those summer rains

Don't you know

Champagne will flow

Gold dazzle ring
upon my finger

Any stair we could climb

Has got to be to heaven
and so divine

That all we'll ever
have to do is lie around

And watch the stars above us
fall down

We're callin'this
mess our own

And tellin'all the others
it's home, sweet home

If we were really closing in
on yesterday's mess

We're both
sittin' on a dream

How's it going?

Fine. What's that on your face?

The ceiling.

Seems to be coming down
in the bedroom.

Oh. Well, I'll get to that later.
I only got two hands.

Okay.
Okay.

What the hell was that?

All I did was turn on the water.

That's all?

That doesn't sound good.

No.
You should see the

I guess it's the water.

I don't know. It's revolting.
Okay.

So the plumbing's not perfect.

We'll get it fixed.
It's not the end of the worid.

You didn't see that water!
Look, this is an old house.

It's gonna need some work.
You've gotta expect that.

I didn't expect
that water. It had legs.

A little work,
a little care

a little imagination,
and it's gonna be great!

It's gonna be fun
fixing it up. You'll see.

I don't know. I've never been
any good at that kind of thing.

What kind of thing?
Work.

You can't go into it
with that kind of

attitude. You've
gotta be more positive.

I'll try.
Oh.

A little care,
a little imagination

and a positive attitude.

What was that?

Nothing, dear.

Son of a bitch.

Oh, Walter!
The stairs are out!

Honey,
you're on my fingers.

Oh

Sorry.

I'd help you with
that, but somebody

stepped on all my fingers.

I said I was sorry.

I didn't expect your fingers
to be on the floor.

I know.
I'm just cranky.

I guess it's having just thrown
$200,000 into the toilet.

Either that or the intense pain.

It's only the first day.

You're not gonna give
up on it already.

Oh, yes. Yes, I am.
Oh, no.

No, you're not.
I'm not gonna let you.

There's a chance we
could fob it off

on the Cheap Giris.

We're not going to sell it.

The land, at least,
has got to be worth something.

The house is going to be great!

Yeah, if we can peel the rind off it.

What?
It's a lemon, honey, let's face it.

You can't just quit.

I'm a quitter,
and I'm not ready to quit yet.

Why not?

Commitment.

Oh. That.

You're right.
The house is gonna be great.

I promise.

Lady, this is impossible.

Oh, nonsense.
You're doing fine.

I feel like I'm gonna die.

You're not going to die.
I'm holding the ladder.

If you fall,
land on the mattress.

Hello. Yes. Yes.
We're having some

problems with our
plumbing, and I was

I can't move.
Fielding. Walter Fielding.

Stop being a baby.
You're nearly there.

There's no reason why
you should've heard of me.

I don't have any references. I just

Somebody here call a carpenter?
Oh, yes. We did.

Yale. Yeah.

Don't let go of the ladder!
I wasn't really holding it, anyway.

How much do I make a year?

Uh, how much
do you make a year?

Really?

No. No, that's not a Jewish name.
You're kidding, right?

Get out of my life,
would you?

Don't touch me, pig!
Oh, you're cute

when you're mad.

I'm serious. Get away from me.
Hey!

Stop it!
Hey, let go of her! That's my wife!

Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm sorry.

She didn't say nothin'
about being married.

I just thought she was
good-lookin' wool.

This animal attacked me!

I didn't say anything
about anything.

Look, I don't wanna cause trouble.

If I came on a little strong,
I'm sorry, okay?

No, it's not okay.
Just get out of here.

Well, okay.
If that's what you want.

I think we should call the police.

Hey, let's not get nuts here.

Who are you anyway?

Art Shirk. I'm the carpenter.
I think we spoke on the phone.

You're the carpenter?
Yeah. Well, I guess I'll be going.

Oh, wait a minute!
Just wait a minute.

Maybe we can clear this up.

Clear this up?
What are you doing? He tried

I know, but he's supposed to be
a really good carpenter.

He tried to attack me.
He just thought you were

good-lookin' wool

an attractive woman.

He didn't know who you were.
I don't know who you are.

Look, uh

do you know how
hard it is to find

a really good carpenter?

Besides, I think

he's got a brother
who's a plumber.

Really? A brother
who's a plumber?

I think so.

Do you think I should
sleep with him?

Maybe just this once.

I think I'm going to start dinner.

The house is gonna be great.

Great.

Great!

Hey, I'm sorry about that
Oh, it's all right.

You'll have plenty

of opportunities
to make it up to us.

You know, usually a woman
calls a carpenter

she's lookin' for
the old hammer and nail.

And I don't mean
Yeah, I know what you mean.

Hey, buddy,
did you really buy this house?

Yes, I did.

Now,
what was over there?

The stairs. It began right there
and it curved all the way

Oh, my God!

No, don't!

What's the matter?

I was just lighting the oven.

Just lighting You could've
been killed! We could've all died!

Oh, well,
thank you very much.

I'm not completely helpless
in the kitchen.

I do know how to light an oven.

Well, yeah, but

You mean this thing works?
So far, so good.

Well, it's amazing.
What about the, uh

What do you call these?
The burners.

I haven't tried them yet.

Maybe we shouldn't
press our luck.

Wanna see the refrigerator?
No.

Water?

No water.

We've got gas and
electricity, though.

That's two out of three.

Art's calling his brother.
Oh, good news.

You're not gonna have
to sleep with him.

Just a little dinner,
some dancing.

How long do you think
all that'll take?

Two weeks.

Really? That's all?

When do you think
you could start?

Just as soon
as your cheque clears.

Couldn't you at
least hang the door?

I've got enough cash for that.

Haven't got the right materials.

Wood's rotten.
Won't hold a screw.

Which reminds me:

I'm late for my next job.

If you know what I mean.
I gotta be me

I gotta be me
Yeah, I know what you mean.

What else can I be

In spite of all the problems

in spite of the
prospect of indentured

servitude for the rest of my life

in debt beyond
my wildest dreams

I love the house.

So do I.

And I love you.

Life is good.

Prostate trouble?

Well, that was fast.

We have very weak trees.

Weak trees?

I guess that's the door.

Hurry, don't let it ring again.

Wait!

You Fielding?
Right!

My brother Art recommended you.

I don't usually take
jobs in this area.

I'm glad you can
make an exception.

Let's not get ahead
of ourselves, okay?

I'm sorry.

Where should we start?
Well, you could offer me a drink.

I don't know
where my manners are.

Here it is, nearly 11:30.
You must be parched.

What? Wait a minute!
We haven't even

talked about the plumbing yet!

And we're not going to,
not with your attitude.

Oh, saving the good scotch
for the company, are we?

No wonder you've
been turned down

by every plumber in the valley.

That's not true!
Don't make it worse by lying.

I'm not lying!
I haven't tried everybody yet.

Please,
you gotta help me!

I don't know.

Write me a cheque quick,

before I come to my
senses. Five grand.

Five grand Five
thousand dollars?

That's just a deposit.

You didn't even
Well

I'm not tryin' to tell
you your business,

but you haven't even
looked at my pipes.

I looked at them three years ago.

You figure they've
improved with age?

Me

I gotta be me

What else can I be
but what I am

Prep school.

Yale.
Phi Beta Kappa.

Four years of law school,
law review.

Are you all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

The secret is not to,
uh, look down.

Oh, why did you say that?

Look down?
It's a secret.

I was fine till you said that.

I'm sorry.
You're doin' great.

Mm-hmm.
Just great.

If you don't mind,

I'm gonna share this
bath with you

because I can't do
this a second time.

Ooh!

I think that's a swell idea.

That way you can save your energy
for more worthwhile causes.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Would you get the rest
of the water, okay?

Hi, this is Julia Child with a tip
on making crepes Suzette

that marvellous flaming dessert
that you do at the table.

You need a nice flaming set-up.
I've got a heat source there.

There's an attractive pan.

In the pan I have a mixture
of sugar, butter, orangejuice

and grated orange peel.

I'm taking a crepe,
and I'm bathing it in this mixture

I like to use

a no-stick pan and
heat until water

and on goes some nice brandy.

Let it bubble up well,
and then dip it into your flames

Ow!

Little problem in the kitchen.
Nothing trivial.

Well,
the turkey's done.

So is the kitchen.

Actually, it's a little overdone
for my taste.

Let's not go there again.

You don't want to
tell me what happened?

No, I don't.

I just want to relax
in a nice lukewarm bath.

What about this?

I don't think
that can hurt us any more.

What are you doing?

Save yourself.
What?

I'm a menace to anything I touch.

The Surgeon General's warning

should be tattooed
across my forehead.

Walter Fielding is dangerous
to your health. Don't touch him.

Save yourself.
I can't.

I've tried, but I
love Walter Fielding.

No.

I can't give him up.
I'm hopelessly addicted.

No.

You must think of yourself!

I am sinking fast
into the money pit

and I don't want to
drag you down with me.

Save yourself
while there's still time.

Walter, brighten up.

I hate seeing you like this.

I hate being like
this. I'm a disaster.

These are estimates
from legitimate

contractors for repairs on the pit.

Those that will actually
come out here

are so expensive,
I can't talk about it.

Let's not talk about it.

I've just given our last $5,000

our last 5,000 borrowed dollars
to the Shirks.

Walter, I don't mean
to be questioning you, but why

They were willing to take it!

The legitimate people wanted

four times as much
just to say hello.

So it's the Shirks.
That's not so bad.

Well, that's if they show up.

Just because they showed up
to collect the money

is no guarantee that
they'll show up to do the work.

And if they do,
I can't pay for it!

I'm going to help you.
Do you have a gun?

Here lies Walter Fielding.

He bought a house,
and it killed him.

If I could raise some more money,
would that help?

Depends on how you're gonna
raise the money.

Mmm.

I think I know how.
I know you know how.

Just stop.
I've got some things I can sell.

I don't wanna talk about money
or the house any more tonight.

Neither do I. We
could just skip town,

borrow some bus fare.

Or we could hitchhike,
hit the open road.

Everything's gonna be just fine.

You'll see. Trust me.
How?

Don't you trust me?
It's not that. It's just that

We'll think of somethin'.
Who cares?

What's happening?
Well, stay here. I'll find out.

Hi. You must be Mr Fielding.

Yeah. Yeah. Who
I'm from Shirk Brothers.

Your number came up
in the drawing

this morning. We work today!

Oh, that's great.
That's Where is Brad?

Oh, South of France,
I think.

Uh, don't
Shouldn't he be here?

Brad is the executive plumber.
We do all the work.

We're just about to get started.

You're free to watch if you want,
though I wouldn't recommend it.

Are there any living
things in there?

Well, my girlfr

My wife. What the hell.
Oh, I'd get her out.

Hold it, fellas. Just a second.
There's a woman inside there.

Hold it!
Come on!

Hey, come on! Wait
a minute, fellas,

there's a lady inside there.

HHere! Here she

HHere you go. Okay?
Are you all right?

Yes, thank you.
Is everything out?

Yeah.

Okay. Have a nice day!
Who are they?

The plumbers.
Are you sure?

No, and I don't care.
I'm just thrilled

to see somebody
actually working.

Mrs Fielding,
don't worry about a thing.

Okay, guys, let's do it!
Yeah!

In our settlement you listed

the value of that
painting at $ 100,000.

I'll sell it to you for 75.

That painting doesn't interest me.

Yes, it does.
You love that painting.

That's the only reason I took it.

All you want
to talk about is money.

Let's talk about love and sex.

Forget love, let's
just talk about sex.

Max, I'm desperate.
I need money.

I need new plumbing.
I need new appliances.

A new staircase, Max.
Stop, please. Too boring.

Plastering, landscaping,
painting, a roof.

Too middle class. Stop.

New floors, new tiles,
new fixtures in the bathroom.

Okay, okay, I'll buy it.
I'll give you the money.

Only, please, God,
stop!

Thank you, Max.
Sometimes you can be very sweet.

I know.

How do I look in this?
Oh, beautiful.

You look beautiful
in everything. Mm-hmm.

Hi!

Hi.

What happened?

It was no picnic, but those boys
are work animals.

Well, everything looks
pretty well under control.

It does?

Well, not to the layman's eyes,
of course.

They completely ripped up
our house!

They sure as hell did!
They ripped the guts out of it!

They're work animals,
I'm telling you!

Look at those holes!

Then you got your gravel piles

your sand piles,
your scrap piles.

Animals!
Animals.

Well, I like a good conversation
as well as anybody, but I gotta run.

Hasta pronto,
if you know what I mean.

Y-You're leaving?
Well, I ain't movin' in.

But we'll be back
when you get your permits.

Permits? The permit man
was supposed to be here by 4:00.

Oh, he was, but you or your wife
weren't here to meet him.

We weren't?
Anna's not here?

No, no.
I would've noticed.

The permit man
was pretty agitated.

Really steamed his clams.

Said he'd be back

when you grow
udders and get milked.

That's a long time.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, if he ever does come back,

you call me and
we'll finish the job.

When I do get the permits,
how long will the job take?

Two weeks.

Two weeks?
Two weeks?

You sound like a parakeet.
Two weeks? Two weeks?

Well, uh, two weeks.
It's It's amazing.

Amazing, nothing.

It'll be a regular miracle.

Hello?

Oh, hi there.

Tone?
My voice has no tone.

Because I'm standing
in a pile of rubble

and we don't
have the permits to un-rubble it.

Exaggerating? Honey,
we're living

in Swiss cheese with a door.

Mozart? Mozart is dead.
His troubles are over.

Help me!

All right. I'm sorry.

You're right. If you had to work,
you had to work.

Oh, l-l-I love you too.

Where is the guy's number?
The permit man.

In the den, you think.

I will pick you up at the station.

Just give me a call
when you get there.

Shrapp?

Is Mr Shrapp in?

Mr Shrapp.
Walter Fielding.

Hey, watch what you say
about my mother, now.

Mr Shrapp,
let's be adults about this.

I'm Look, I'm very sorry
I wasn't here this afternoon.

My wife was poisoned
and taken to the hospital.

Well, what would
cut any ice with you?

A bribe? Sure.
Can you be here in a half an hour?

All right.

Cash? No problem.

Weasel.

Cash.
Cash, cash, ca

H-Help!

Come on, everybody

I said let's play a game

I bet ya I can make a rhyme

Out of anybody's name

Anna!
Anna-Anna, bo-banna

Banana-fanna, fo-fanna

Fee-fi, mo-manna

Anna

Let's try Brad!

Brad, Brad, bo-rad
Banana-fanna

Walter!

Fielding!
Walter, Walter, bo-balter

Banana-fanna, fo-falter

Fee-fi, mo-malter Walter

Hello

Hello!
Hello! I'm here!

Are you in there,
Fielding?

YYeah!
lI'm here.

MMy chest is constricted.

I can't shout.
OOww! Oww!

Okay, Fielding,

I can hear you in
there laughing at me.

This is it,
you duck fart!

I'm leaving, and I'm
never coming back!

Ya hear me, Fielding?

YY-Yes, I hear you!

I'm tearing up your permit!

There!

Nobody laughs
at Montgomery Shrapp!

Good Lord!

You testin' missiles here,
or what?

The house is gonna be great.

Shh.

Oh, my God.

Walter!

Oh!
Oh, A-Anna!

Thank God it's you!
Thank God! Ohh!

Walter?

Thank God you're here, honey!
Is that you?

Is it me?

Ha! Is it me?

Anna, I've been here so long
I'm hallucinating.

A while ago I thought
the Care Bears were here.

Walter?

Farm animals, or
geese and chickens

Walter?

Upstairs!

Are you all right?

No, I'm not all right.
Not at all.

No!

Where are you?
I'm in the den.

No, you're not.
I was just in there.

I'm in the den. I swear it.
Please believe me.

Will you stop fooling around,
Walter? I'm tired.

I'm right here.

Look, Walter,
enough is enough.

I'm right here!

Where?

In the floor,
behind the chair.

Ohh!

Oh, laughing.

We're laughing.

The permit man was here.

Oh, that's good.
No, it's not.

Now tomorrow I've got to
take off work, drive to his office

and kiss his ass.

Oh!

Well, thanks to that fall
we're now the same height.

Yeah, that's much better.

So, why did rehearsal run so long?
That was my fault.

We got off to a late
start because I was

haggling with Max
over the painting.

How, exactly, would you
define haggling?

What do you mean by that?
I thought that was my question.

Are you jealous of Max?

Jealous of Max?

Don't be silly.

Just because he's rich, famous,
good-looking, brilliant.

I mean, what's he got
that I haven't got?

Walls.

I feel much better.

Good night, hon.

Good night.

Look out for that thing.
You're gonna fall off of it.

Get to work!

Four months
since I got those permits.

They're not even half done.

They said two weeks
for the whole job.

You're telling me this
like I haven't been here.

We're going through a rough time.

Let's remember not to
take it out on each other.

You're right.

You hear about that
guy up in the Bronx,

went crazy, thought
he was a pigeon?

They found him in the park
throwing bread crumbs at himself.

He was just putting in
a guest bathroom.

Okay.

So let's be nice to each other.
We're all we've got.

Don't forget to get the water.

Haven't I gotten the water
every morning for four months?

Walter.

Do I ever forget the water?

Don't do this. Walter,
Walter, Walter!

I'm sorry.

The bucket's in the hall.

I know where the bucket is.

You don't have to tell me
where the bucket is.

Stairs!
Ha!

A staircase!
We have stairs!

Oh, hello, Mr Stairs.
I've missed you.

Anna?
Anna, darling!

Did you get the water?

We have stairs!

It's happening, honey.

Everything's gonna be fixed.

We have stairs.

That's terrific.

Everything's gonna be wonderful.
Yes.

Sweetheart,
I could really use some water.

Yeah. Right away.

SSay, Curly?

Yo!
Could you send up some water?

We're a little busy today, Walter,
tryin' to build a house.

I'll get it myself.
I'll use my new stairs.

That's my boy.

Tar bucket comin' down.

Morning, James.
Morning!

Alka-Seltzer.
Just a minute.

Any idea when you're going
to be finished here?

Two weeks.
That's what I thought.

Alka-Seltzer.
Here you go.

Oh. You know you're almost out
of birth control pills?

Thank you, James.

Walter.
Walter!

The water! I know.
I'm getting it.

Hey, Walter!

You want this room painted blue,
like in the hallway?

No, I do not. That's all wood

What do you mean,
like the hallway?

The hallway.
Blue, right?

I want nothing blue.
Nothing!

Oh, man. Now I gotta go flush out
my paint sprayer.

Oh, that's a bummer.

Have you seen Mr Fielding?

Fielding?
Yeah.

Don't know any Fieldings
around here. In Cincinnati

Walter?

Oh, Walter!
Yeah, Walter.

He was supposed to bring me
a bucket of water.

Bring you some water?
Yeah. Do No

Ohh! Ohh!
How's that?

It's a miracle.

Yeah!

Walter.

I wanna ask you something.
You're a lawyer, right?

Yeah.

Last year my father
was hit in the head by a golf ball.

Oh, can I unplug

Now, he seemed okay

but last week
we were watching TV

and I put on the Bob Hope
Desert Classic from Palm Springs.

He goes friggin' nuts!

My father, not Bob Hope.

So he kicks in
the friggin' TV screen. Now

I'd have to study it,
but I'd say you got

a great case against Bob Hope.

Thanks, man.

Aaah!

That was not so bad.

Are you happy with that one?
I am not unhappy with it.

It's the best that
miserable symphony

has ever sounded.

You have my congratulations,
and you may go home.

But don't you want to hear it back?

No, if there's something wrong
with it it's your fault

and you will hang for it.

Do you have a cigarette?

I'm sorry.

It was beautiful,
Max.

Better than Szell's versi�n?

Mmm, I wondered
why you did this.

I know you never liked it.

Well?

It was better.
Thank you.

It's a pity
that son of a bitch isn't alive

because it would kill him
to hear that.

Have you got a cigarette?

You stopped smoking
five years ago.

I started again two weeks ago.

Can I have the damn cigarette?

Mmm.
Filters.

You seem a little tense.

Your shoulders are up
over your ears.

Are you all right?
Don't I look all right?

In a word, no.

The only good part of our divorce

was that it seemed
to make you happy.

For you to be without me
and unhappy

is such a waste.

You are making me sad.

Walter's in Philadelphia

and the idea of going back
to that house, alone

Oh, God.

Why don't we have dinner
and a huge amount of alcohol?

I'm not dressed for a restaurant.

My place.
Our old place.

You can have a hot bath.

We'll have a fire. Hwang will make
anything you want for dinner.

Duck I'orange.

Twelve-year-old scotch.

In clean glasses.

That can be arranged.

I'm not going to bed with you.

I may not ask you.

Oh, my God.

Good morning.

Oh, my God.
What's wrong?

What happened?
What did we do?

What have we done? Oh, my God!
Calm down.

You were a little looped.
You sang a few songs.

The Beatles?

The entire catalogue.
What else?

You don't remember?
It was duck for dinner. Right?

Followed by crepe Suzettes.

I don't remember
the crepe Suzettes.

You don't remember the piano?
No.

Under the piano?
I don't wanna hear any more.

It was incredible.
Better than Zurich.

Zurich?

The police came.
You don't remember any of this?

Oh, no.

My shoe!

Not my shoe!
Last night you were

the animal I remember.

I don't need shoes!

Come back to me, and the police

will come every night.

I love you.
This is a nightmare.

Last night you said you loved me

that we would be together
the rest of our lives.

I wasn't drunk,
I was insane!

When are you going to tell Walter?
Never!

You're just going to walk out
on him without saying anything?

I am not walking out on him.

I am in love with him.
Not you, him.

No, this whole
wonderful realization

has confused you.

Oh!

Talk this over with Walter,
and you'll see.

Lying.
What?

I'm going to have to do
a lot of lying.

No. Tell him the truth.
I'll lose him.

Hey, take a chance.

Bump-bump-ba-bump-bump

Bump-bump-ba-bump-bump

Bump-bump-bump

Bump-bump-bump

Bump-bump-ba-bump-bump

Bump-bump-ba-bump-bump

Bump-bump-bump

Bump-bump-bump

Bump-bump-ba-bump-bump

Bump-bump-ba-bump-bump

You'd better let me off here.

I don't think you can
make it up the driveway.

They testin' missiles here?

That's right, buddy, we are,

and it's very
hush-hush. Top secret.

So forget you were up here
and forget you saw any of this.

And forget about a tip.
I am a pizza

Ready to munch
Ah, home, crap home.

I am a pizza
I am a pi

I still can't get used to the idea of

having hot water
whenever we want it.

Yeah.
Yeah.

So, what'd you do last night?
Oh, nothing much.

Where'd you eat?

What?

Last night.
Where did you eat?

Oh.
The Four Seasons.

Well, I'm glad it wasn't
anything special.

Actually,
it was a little special.

We had just done probably
the finest performance

of Haydn's
Surprise Symphony ever.

Really.

Uh, please tell me you didn't pay.

I didn't.

Max took us.

Well, that must have been
some performance.

It was.

It's never been my favourite piece
of music, but we really did it well.

How was Max?

Fine!

I mean, he was very pleased
with himself.

He asked after you.

Oh, that's that's very nice.
Mm-hmm.

Did you sleep with him?

I hope you don't mind.

Of course, we can't go back
to the Four Seasons again.

Did you?

Walter!

Did you?

Are you serious?

Well, I know you weren't here
last night

because I called,
and, uh, guess what.

I don't know.
You tell me.

No answer.

Walter, do you want to tell me
what you're saying?

I'm not saying anything.

Actually,
what I'm saying is

that I would hope that if

there was something
for you to tell me

for example, that
you'd spent last night

with Max that
you would tell me

that it would be okay
for you to tell me.

You're just going
to have to trust me.

Oh, l-I trust you.

I do trust you. I just want you
to tell me the truth.

Well, I did.

Well, then,
that's the end of it.

You would tell me,
wouldn't you?

Walter.

I just want you to
be honest with me.

I can take anything except lies.

People slip up.
Christ, I understand that.

It happens all the time.

I mean, I'm not some meathead
chauvinist provincial.

Is that all?
No. No.

I'm jealous.
I'm very jealous of Max.

I'm not crazy about the idea
of you sleeping with him, but if

you did it and didn't tell me

that would really bother me.

Without changing my plea,
I would like to know why.

Because it underestimates me.

Not telling me assumes
I'm incapable

of understanding why you did it.

Not that you did it.
Had you done it.

Did you?

You want me to tell you the truth,
no matter how much it hurts.

If we can't be honest
with each other,

what else have we got?

And you'll believe in me?
You'll understand?

Of course I will.
I love you.

I love you too, but I did not sleep
with Max last night.

No?

Can we knock this off
and go to sleep?

I love you.

Mmm.
I love you.

Walter?

Walter!
Walter.

Are you awake?
Yeah!

Yeah, I'm awake.
What is it?

I have to talk to you.

Oh, I can't believe
I'm gonna do this. It's so stupid.

What is it?
What's the matter?

I lied to you about Max.

Apparently I went
to his apartment, I got drunk

I guess I sang a few songs

and apparently I, um

slept with him.

I know I shouldn't
be telling you this.

No. No.

It's okay.

It's only proved to me
how much I love you.

Oh, that sounds stupid too,
but it's true.

I love you, Walter.
I love you.

I love you.
It's okay.

Everything's okay.

You won't hold it against me?
You can forgive me?

Sure. Can we talk about this
in the morning?

I'm so tired.

Do we have to talk about it?
Can't we just put this behind us?

Yeah.

I love you.

I love you.

You whore!

I leave town for 5
minutes, you can't

wait to leap into
the sack with old Max!

You bastard!

That's right! Laying it off on me!
You hypocrite!

I'm not the one screwing around!
Just be honest with me.

How long has this been going on?
You chauvinist meathead!

I'm not telling you anything!

Now or ever again!

Oh, this is perfect!
Guess who suddenly

turns into the injured party!

Where do you think you're going?
Someplace where you're not!

Well, then, you stay here,
because I'm leaving!

Fine!

Get out! I never want
to see you again!

The plasterer came?

Para bailar la bamba

Para bailar la bamba
se necesita

Una poca de gracia

Una poca de gracia
par mi para ti

Hey, Walter.

What happened?
Your old lady kick you out?

I do not wish to discuss

my domestic difficulties
with you, Julio.

That's okay. I figure she
threw his ass out.

No, she did not throw my ass out!
No, you had your chance, man.

This is between me and Duke.

I'm not payin' you
guys to stand around.

You wanna get to work?

We can't do nothin'

till the plumbin'
inspector gets here.

There's no plumbing in that wall.

No?
We can take off and you can

call us when he gets here.

Just stay where you are.
I fell for that one before.

Ooh! Ohh!

You're up bright and early.

I didn't sleep very well.

You look great.
Got a date?

Yes,
with the Marine Corps Band.

I'm starting with the brass, and I'm

working my way to
the drum section.

Don't you think we should talk?
This is not the time.

I'm mad, and I'm getting madder.
Oh! What do you think I am?

I think you're a jerk.
I know that.

I didn't realize how big a jerk
I was until last night.

Neither did I.

Let's just pack it in, then. Let's just

finish this thing
right here and now!

Fine.
I'll pack a bag for you

and send the rest later.

You expect me to move out?
You shouldn't have

any trouble finding a bed.

I got a bed, lady.
Get the hell outta here!

This is private!

What makes you think you can

just throw me
out of my own house?

You're the one who's moving.

I have worked and
slaved suffered

and put myself in
hock up to my eyes

and you want me to move out

because you've
got the hots for Max?

No way!
You hear me?

I have worked and slaved
and suffered for

this house every bit
as much as you have!

Actually more, because
I had to put up with you!

This is ridiculous!
You don't even like this house!

I love this house!

You've done nothing but complain
about it since we got here!

I did one other thing I sunk every

nickel I had in the
worid in this house!

And you'll get it all back!

Me and everyone you've ever met!

I'll pay you back
will be written on your gravestone!

I wouldn't give lectures
on the value of promises!

Your word didn't do too well
on this last outing!

Yours is fine!

It's certainly a lot better
than your cheque!

I'll get you your money back!

I don't want the money!

This is my house,
and I'm not moving!

It's a big house!
We'll divide it up!

You stay in your half,
I'll stay in mine!

That is such a dumb idea.

Sometimes it amazes me
you ever passed the bar.

I'm sure it does.

You've never passed
a bar in your life.

You are so much less attractive
when I'm sober.

Thank goodness it's not that often.
All right, that's it!

I've had it with you, the house,
Max, the orchestra and everything!

How long will it take
to put this place together?

Two weeks.

Two weeks! Two weeks.

Okay, we'll stick it out
until the house is finished.

Then we'll sell it,
get our money back

and get the hell
away from each other.

Fine.

Get back to work!

Bam! Zoom!

What are you doing here?

You missed a rehearsal.
That's right.

Did you tell Walter
what happened between us?

Yes.

And what did he say?

Walter and I are through.

I hate us both.
You'll get over it.

You'll come back to me.
No.

I'm just going away someplace.

You can't go anywhere.
We have performances.

You don't understand. I have to

get away from here,
from both of you.

You are leaving the symphony?

What have I done?

Oh, it wasn't your fault.
It was my fault.

I was weak.

No, you weren't.

What?

I made it up.

You made what up, Max?

You slept in the bedroom.
I slept in the living room.

Sex would have been a miracle.

Oh, Max!

I wanted you back,
and I truly thought

I could make you happy this time.

Oh, Max.

Tell Walter the truth.

No.

He couldn't forgive me,
and I can't forgive him for that.

He's lost a wonderful woman,
and I know what that's like.

I've lost many.

You must hate me.
No.

I used to hate you.
Now I hate Walter.

Lucky guy.

Walter!

Well, this is an
unexpected revulsi�n.

Are you hot?
Can I take your life?

I can see that my presence here

could be construed
as in poor taste.

No!
Do you realize what you've done?

You've taken
a woman who loves you

one of the great women
on the face of this Earth

and thrown her away.

I've lost her too, but I'll get over it

because I am shallow
and self-centred.

But you, you won't
because you are complex.

You will suffer terrible anguish
for the rest of your life.

This is turning out to be
a pretty good day.

Good day.

Smooth strokes.

Up and down.

Paint,
don't tickle.

And don't smoke.

Well, folks, I guess this is
hasta so-long-a.

You know,
just between us

there were a couple of times
when I didn't think we'd ever be

able to put this baby back up.

But it, uh, it turned out.
It's beautiful, Curly.

It is, really, much better
than I imagined.

Thank you.
That's very nice of you.

One more job, though.
Here's your key.

It's the only one I've got.
Who wants it?

Hmm?

Well, I'll just put it
on the bannister here.

You'll have no trouble
selling this place, that's for sure.

Shirk Brothers'll give you
a million for it tomorrow.

Great.

No, this wasn't an
easy one, but the

foundation was
good, I'll say that.

And if that's okay,
then everything else can be fixed.

Well, goodbye, folks.
Good luck.

Well, this is it.

Are you going
to spend the night here?

No. You?

I'm already packed.

I'd better get packed myself.

I'll get my bags.

Walter?

Walter?

This step.
This This was our step.

This is where it all started to

Turn to crap.

Too late to put it
back together, isn't it?

You slept with Max,
and I don't care.

What?

I don't care.

Well, I care, but not enough
for us to be apart.

Really?

Really.

I'm glad you slept
with him, because now

I know how much I really love you.

You sleeping with Max
was the best thing

that could've happened to us.

I didn't sleep with him.

Thank God.

Ohh!
Over here!

Always a bridesmaid,
never a bride.

Look at me! Hey! Walter!

A big smile!

Hold it! Hold it there!
One more! Ready?

Hold it! Way to go!
Thank you. I got it.

It's a very nice house,
and the price is reasonable.

Reasonable? It's a steal.

Oh, honey!
It's so beautiful.

You buy or not?

We're buying.

You can count it if you like,
but you'll find it's all there.

Carlos, come on!

We haven't got all day!
Let's go!

Mein wife.

Auf wiedersehen
Ah.

Hasta la vista.

Where shall we build a house

How do the roses grow

Are you and I in love

How do we really know

If love is on our side

You'll know when
I'm in trouble

That's when my
heart decides

To go wherever you will go

The heart is so willing

To follow

The heart shows the way

Out of the night

The heart roams

In search of tomorrow

But love takes the hand

That guides the light

When shadows fall

And there's no one there

To help or listen

I feel your every breath

I hear the words you say

And I keep turning back

To hear the music play

I'll make no promises

False promises
can break you

How can you call me home

Wanting me like yesterday

How do we fix the moon

How do we change the sky

How do I make you laugh

The way I make you cry

I'll make no promises

False promises
can break you

But love's no accident

Time is on our side

The heart is so willing

To follow, oh

The heart shows the way

Out of the night

The heart roams

In search of tomorrow

But love takes the hand

That guides the light

The heart is so willing

To follow
Yes, the heart

is so willing to follow

The heart shows the way

Out of the night

Oh, the heart is so
Oh, the heart is

The heart roams

In search of tomorrow

In search of tomorrow

But love takes the hand

That guides the light

The heart is so willing

To follow

The heart shows the way

Out of the night

The heart roams

In search of tomorrow

And love takes the hand

That guides the light

The heart is so willing