Original subtitles

♪ ("THE GIRL FROM KING MARIE" BY JODY REYNOLDS PLAYS THROUGH HEADPHONES) ♪

(HONKING)

WOMAN: I need to cancel.

Just for tomorrow.

Yeah, sure.

You know, that's fine, so....

Okay, okay. Okay, goodbye.

- (PHONE BEEPS) - Hello?

Oh, hi.

No, I have appointments all day.

Oh, yeah, we can set up ourselves.

How many chairs?

Oh, great. Great.

Okay. Okay, I'll see you after 4:00, then.

Thanks. Bye.

- So, how was your run? - It's fucking hot for October.

- Want some French toast? - Yeah.

LAURIE: Hey, Jill? Come on, honey. Chop, chop.

They pushed my afternoon sessions so I can meet the rental guys.

- All you have to do is get the cake. - Yeah, okay.

- Do you think he knows? - No way.

Jill, I'm waiting. Hey, when does Tommy get back?

He said he had a morning class and he'd come after that.

- All right. - So I'll see you at noon.

- You have the breeder's address? - The what?

The breeder? For the puppy?

- It has to be today? - Yeah, we have to go today,

otherwise we go on the wait list and lose our deposit.

All right, okay. Noon. I'll be there.

♪ (SINGING "WITHOUT YOU" BY DAVID GUETTA) ♪

Have a good day.

♪ (CONTINUES SINGING) ♪

- I love you. - Love you, too.

Don't. Please.

Mommy attack.

- Yeah! - Yeah, way too early.

- God. - Way too early, guys.

Way too early.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Hi.

- Hi, hi. - I love you.

- (LAUGHTER, CHATTER) - ♪ (ACOUSTIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

(STEADY BEEP)

GIRL: My bunny is really soft and...

...its ears are, like, this big and it's pretty big.

He only eats cheese crackers even if he's--

Get your hand out of the box, miss.

- And he also eats carrots. - No.

Jeremy.

- Don't feed the dog. - (DOG WHINING)

- Hey, Dad. - Yo.

- You look nice. - Today's my interview.

Today's your interview.

You said you could take the kids to school.

Of course, I'm taking the kids to school, right, kids?

What's an interview?

- Mommy's getting a job. - Trying to get a job.

Do you want it?

- Yeah, I do. - Then you're gonna get it.

Come on.

- Mommy's getting a job. - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! - Hey. Mommy.

ALL: (CHANTING) Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

♪ (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

(PHONE VIBRATING)

- Hello? - WOMAN: Laurie, hi.

Dr. Singley. How are you?

Oh, hi. Fine.

I was told you canceled your appointment?

Yeah, yeah, my daughter has a science fair and I wanted to--

I really think it's important for you to come in tomorrow.

We're reaching the point of no return.

I know. I just....

I need to talk to my husband.

Well, you should do that.

- And then you'll be in tomorrow? - Yes.

Good. See you then.

Good morning.

Patti, you ready to come in?

(LAUGHING)

- It's a cat? - Yeah.

But it has a pop tart for its body, and it's just shooting through space,

and it has rainbows coming out of its butt,

and it's just really happy about it.

I don't get it.

No, Dad, you don't.

KEVIN: And come home straight after school.

Your mom and I need help setting up for the party.

He knows, you know. It's not gonna be a surprise.

Yeah, I know, I know. Just please don't tell your mom.

- You smell like cigarettes. - What?

- Bye. - (SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

(DISTANT TRAIN WHISTLE)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

What happened?

I don't know. They just all came running out.

It's a monster!

WOMAN: Is it gone?

- What was it? - It was a deer.

I think something terrible's about to happen.

Tell me what that feels like.

- What it feels like? - Yeah.

I mean...

...why is this time different?

Because you've said this before and we're still here.

Those times...

...they were like tremors.

This...

...this is the big one.

Like the world is gonna end.

Then tell me how it feels.

Like a hand is inside my chest.

And it's squeezing my heart tighter and tighter.

And he won't let me go until it's over.

- "He"? - What?

"He" won't let go?

- It's not about that. - It isn't?

- No, no. - It's not about Neil

telling you to leave your own house?

He paid for it.

It's his house.

That's not how it works, Patti.

But he told you to go, so you went.

And all those abusive things he said to you?

That's what makes you feel like the world is ending.

Because instead of ignoring those things,

you believe them.

You absorb them.

Well, I guess I better shit 'em back out.

Maybe you should.

Maybe you should put them in a bag,

and write Neil's name on it,

and just drop it right back off on his doorstep.

Come on.

Well, if it'll stop the world from ending, why the hell not?

Nothing's gonna stop that.

I know why you're telling jokes

because you can feel it, too, can't you?

I know you can.

Something's wrong...

...inside you.

Sorry, Patti, that's just not true.

There's nothing wrong with me.

Well, you're on the council but nobody knows who you are.

Buddy Menlo is the incumbent.

He's popular, he has built-in name recognition

and we're a month out from the election.

So if I'm being honest, barring a miracle,

I don't think you stand a chance.

Uh-huh.

And why should I hire you if you can't help me win?

Because I think you have some progressive ideas for the town--

Oh, fuck my progressive ideas.

Why do you want to do this, "Nora Durst"?

Because...

...I want to use my brain for more than figuring out

which juice box is certified organic.

I want....

I need something for myself.

I know I'm not running for mayor of New York City...

...but for the next four weeks, I need this to be your priority.

And what does that mean for the, um... juice boxes?

As far as you're concerned, for the next four weeks,

I don't have a family.

Councilwoman.

I'm in the middle of an interview.

You coming to my thing tonight?

You're not supposed to know you're having a thing tonight.

And yet I do know. You coming or not?

I'm in the middle of an interview.

Hey.

- You tell her she could beat Buddy? - Nope.

Hire her.

Now get the fuck out of here, Man of the Year.

We're just friends, so....

Moorland, you've got first and Broadway.

And don't any of you think you dodged a bullet

because you'll all be getting traffic control

until Con Ed's done with the gas lines,

which should be in about a week.

Now, in other good news, or bad news,

this heat wave's gonna continue.

So water restriction is still in place

which means you issue a ticket

to anybody who's sprinkling their lawns between 6:00 and 10:00.

And it looks like we've got ourselves a deer problem.

Reports of the fuckers getting stuck inside buildings.

One wandered into the Biggie superstore,

another jammed through Rosalie Darmody's baby shower--

Think it's just one.

- Sorry? - Deer. I think it's just one.

- Why do you think that? - I saw it this morning.

At the school?

No, I just missed it at the school. Before that.

Just a theory, Chief, maybe this thing's in heat

and just wants to fuck the lieutenant.

- (LAUGHTER) - Fuck you, Lou.

It doesn't matter to me if it's deer singular

or deer fucking plural.

You are authorized to put it down.

Well, we don't need to kill it.

If it's dangerous and unstable, yes, we do.

We get tranq guns from animal control.

If we see it, we knock it out,

bring it back to the woods, let it go.

- Let it go? - Yes.

Okay, I'll make you a deal.

You get a tranq gun,

I'll have dispatch inform you of any sightings,

and you get there before anyone with an actual weapon....

...hallelujah. Set Bambi free.

Good?

Yes, good.

Fantastic.

Now, I hope to not see any of you any time soon, especially tonight,

as I hate fucking parties. Dismissed.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

- Hello? - TOM: Dad.

Tommy, you okay?

I think I fucked up.

Where are you?

MAN: He's mostly sobered up. Guy's not pressing charges.

He will if there's a next time.

- I appreciate it. - No problem.

Come on.

(SIGHS)

- Sorry. - Glad you called me.

- Thank you. - Anytime.

- Hey. Come on. It's okay. - (WINCES)

What did he do?

This the house?

Please don't. It was my fault.

- Dad-- - It's okay.

Gonna talk to him.

(KNOCKING)

Would you get your dad for me, please?

Yeah?

- Shit. - You know who I am?

Look, man, he keeps coming here.

- What happened? - He was drunk.

This is the third time. I already told him--

What happened?

He doesn't understand that this is not something

- that I'm interested in. - Did you touch him?

- He tried to come into my house. - Did you touch him?

All I did was push him back--

If you touch my kid again, I will fucking kill you.

It's okay.

Why'd you have to tell me?

Your mother thought it would be the same as lying if we didn't.

I'm your father, not him.

I know.

Why do you need to keep doing this?

Because he shouldn't get to pretend like it never happened.

He did a terrible thing to you and your mother.

Sometimes you have to pretend.

Well, well, looks like someone chose you.

Is that the mother?

- Her third litter. - Aw...

They seem so young to be away from her.

It's actually completely natural. They don't need her anymore.

(PHONE CHIMING)

I'm sorry. It's my husband.

He's not coming.

WOMAN: Just bring him home.

I promise, the minute your husband sees him,

he'll fall in love.

Sorry.

They're wonderful, aren't they?

LAURIE: Hey, Jill, honey, you got to clear off the table.

The food's gonna be here and I need to set up.

Almost done.

- Want me to help you? - No, thanks.

So, I know you have your presentation tomorrow,

and I really wanna be there,

but I have an appointment and I tried to--

That's okay. You weren't there last year.

I'm a terrible mother.

- There's no need to be dramatic. - I'm not being dramatic.

Come here. You're the best mom in the whole world.

The best mom ever.

KEVIN: Hello?

- Tell Mom she's the best. - Well, she is the best.

- Where's the cake? - Right behind me.

(LAURIE SCREAMS, CHUCKLES)

You're home. You're home.

Hey, what are you two doing together?

The car broke down so I went and picked him up.

Yeah.

Looking good, Billy Ray!

Feeling good, Louis.

Okay, team. Time to party.

Up.

MAN: Silver fox approaching the door. Repeat, silver fox approaching.

Copy that.

He's here.

All right. Everyone, get down, get down. He's here.

- And quiet, stay quiet. - He knows.

Oh, fuck off, Lou.

Kevin's out back, making some drinks.

You can just head through the kitchen.

- ALL: Surprise! - Oh! Oh!

Motherfuckers!

Hey.

Hey, Tommy. Come here, college boy.

- Man hug! - Man hug!

Man hug!

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Hey, Mary, how you doing? Thank you so much for coming.

- He was so surprised. - I think he was.

Hey, Jill.

You need to take that over to the bar, honey.

- Who picked this music? - Old people.

Take it to the bar.

(MAN CHUCKLING)

LUCY: Beautiful house.

Kevin, your wife must do very well for herself.

- Well, fuck you very much. - (LAUGHING)

You better not talk to me like that when I'm mayor.

- I'm sure. I won't. - Okay.

Wait, wait. He didn't tell you about the deer?

What deer?

The one that your husband wants to rescue

and free back into the wilderness.

Apparently, they've got a very special relationship.

It's confused.

It just keeps trapping itself inside of buildings. It's....

Aw, poor thing.

Thank you, God, for Mommy and Daddy--

(BOY SCREAMS)

- ...Kylie and Bubba. - Jeremy, stop.

- Prayers are stupid. - NORA: Don't say that.

Go pick out a book.

I'll come read to you in ten minutes, okay?

Come on. Up.

- Maybe it lost its family. - Who did?

The deer.

Maybe it's looking for them at our school.

Maybe, but he's not gonna come back ever again, okay?

I promise. You're safe.

- Good night, my love. - Night, Mommy.

- You can turn it all the way. - Are you sure?

I'm not scared anymore.

- Long day. - You said 6:00.

One of the accounts fell apart.

I can come home early tomorrow.

- Did I miss the window? - No, go on in. She's still up.

- Fantastic. - It went great.

My interview.

Awesome.

♪ (UPTEMPO R&B PLAYS) ♪

So, the Honorable Judge Hader sidles up to me

before the ceremony.

He's there every year, like he invented the fucking thing.

And he says, "Congratulations on this great honor."

So, I looked that cocksucker right in the eyes and said,

"Can't be that great. They gave one to you."

(LAUGHTER)

(CLANGING)

Everybody? Everybody.

If I may, on behalf of the Civic Clergy Association,

I feel obligated to share with you

why I nominated our guest of honor for Mapleton Man of the Year.

The answer?

I couldn't nominate myself.

(LAUGHTER)

But seriously, this man, well, he's humble, he's gracious,

he doesn't like me saying how generous he is

or what he's done for the church,

what he's done for me or the people of this town.

- But, hell, I just did. - (LAUGHTER)

- Hail to the chief. - ALL: Hail to the chief.

- (APPLAUSE) - WOMAN: Hear, hear.

This is a part of something

that Chief used to read to me when I was a kid.

(CLEARS THROAT)

"A man said to the universe, 'Sir, I exist.'

'However, ' the universe replied,

'the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."'

A lot of people think that the world owes them something.

But you, Dad, you built your life...

...and mine... on your own.

Now look at me, you know, and look what I got.

To family.

ALL: To family!

(APPLAUSE)

♪ (ALL SINGING "FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW") ♪

- (SINGING FADES) - ♪ (MUSIC DROWNS OUT AUDIO) ♪

FATHER: You're just asking to get caught.

Oh shit. (CHUCKLES)

- Thought you quit. - Taking a break from quitting.

That was a beautiful speech.

I almost believed you meant it.

I think something's fucking wrong with me.

I think you're right.

Why isn't it enough?

(SIGHS)

Because every man rebels against the idea

that this is fucking it.

Fights windmills, saves fucking damsels,

all in search of greater purpose.

You have no greater purpose.

Because it is enough.

So, cut the shit, okay?

You know, I was thinking maybe we should hold off

on getting a dog.

- Really? - Yeah, it's just a lot.

I started crying at the breeder's today.

I just got overwhelmed. I don't think the timing is right.

No, let's do it.

Tomorrow.

Come on. We'll surprise the kids.

Come on.

And I'll help, so you don't get overwhelmed.

- Okay? - Okay.

Did you sleep okay?

Great.

I'm gonna run.

- What time is it? - It's early.

You don't have to get up.

(SIGHS) It's okay. I'm up.

Hey. You got a new one.

- I like it. - You should get one, too.

Maybe "Thug Life" on my neck. Something really subtle.

Perfect. (LAUGHING)

God.

- I'm sorry. - About what?

Dad didn't tell you?

No.

Oh boy. I went to see Michael.

Oh.

You're not gonna ask why?

I understand why.

It's okay. I could just forget about him.

Don't do that.

- Why not? - Because...

...I can tell you as a trained professional...

...it doesn't work.

♪ ("THE GIRL FROM KING MARIE" BY JODY REYNOLDS PLAYS THROUGH HEADPHONES) ♪

- Are you ready? - Excuse me?

- I think he's someone else. - Okay.

I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else.

(METAL TAPPING)

(RATTLING)

(EXPLOSION)

- Laurie. - LAURIE: Yeah?

You are never gonna believe what just happened to me.

You know, the gas lines Con Edison's putting in?

A manhole cover just exploded right in front of me.

Missed me by, I don't know, ten feet.

Did you just smoke?

- What? - You smell like cigarettes.

I mean, I don't really care. You're the one that wanted to quit.

Just be honest, this time.

- "This time"? - Tommy told me about Michael.

So what? You're angry because I didn't say something?

Why didn't you?

Because it's not my fucking place.

What is your place, Kevin?

Is it here? Be honest.

You don't want me to be honest.

Yes, I do.

Okay, um...

I smoked...

...and I don't want a dog.

Why didn't you just tell me?

Because you wanted it.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

Hello?

Just now?

Is it still there?

Text me the address. I'm on my way over.

It's the deer.

It's trapped.

Better go save it.

Fuck you, Laurie.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

Is it still in the house?

Yeah, walked right through the screen door into the living room.

Ma'am, sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the house.

That's not gonna happen.

It's upstairs?

(CLATTERING)

(HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALS)

(LOW GROWLS)

(CLATTERING, GROWLS, SQUEALS CONTINUE)

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(LOUD GROWL)

It went outside.

- (TIRES SCREECHING) - (CRASHING)

- My God. - You okay?

(GROANING) He came out of nowhere.

(LABORED BREATHING)

♪ (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS OVER RADIO) ♪

(BABY CRYING)

I have been holding for 20 minutes.

No, no, no. No, don't. I-- No.

Oh, God.

(CRYING CONTINUES)

Laurie?

- Hi. Mary Jamison. - Of course. Hi.

- Such a beautiful party last night. - Thank you, thank you.

It was great to have you and Matt there.

He's in there right now.

Is everything okay?

They think they saw something.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Last night, he was so....

I had no idea.

Yeah, well, Matt knows how to put on a brave face.

He was sick as a kid.

We go through this every couple of years.

I mean, he does.

He never lets me go in with him.

He's scared.

He doesn't want you to see him like that.

But I do see it.

I'd rather us be afraid together.

(CHUCKLES)

- Let's get drunk. - You get drunk. I'll drive.

(METAL CLANGING)

(TRUCK BEEPING)

Yeah, I know. Going to hell.

Think I can get one of those?

Yeah.

Here.

Hey, hey. Here, I got it.

I mean, it came out of nowhere.

- It didn't belong here. - Well, neither do I.

I'm here for a conference and I was trying to get back to my hotel.

Missed my turn.

- Lady, you need a lift? - Can I just get a minute?

Sorry, but I got to go but if you need a ride or something--

I'll take her.

- MAN: Yeah? - Yeah.

- WOMAN: You sure? - Yeah.

(SCREAMING)

- Give it to me! - No!

- It's mine! - Kids.

- You don't need it anymore! - Give her the blanket.

Two hands with the big-girl cup, please. That's the deal.

- BOY: I'm hungry, Mom, I'm hungry. - I'm hungry, too.

Stop, please. No phones at the table.

- Well, yours is out, too. - I'm waiting to hear about the job.

- Well, this is important, too. - BOY: (CHANTING) I want food!

I want food! I want food!

- MAN: It's coming, buddy. - I want food.

- Jeremy. - I want food!

- Hey, cut it out. - I want food!

WOMAN: (OVER P.A) We'd like to welcome all parents and students

to our annual science fair.

Please see the door for a list of all projects

and their locations.

I'm not gonna lie but I think the kid over there

cracked cold fusion.

(LAUGHING)

- That looks terrible. - It's awesome.

God.

So, Mom and Dad, what's going on there?

- What do you mean? - You know what I mean.

I think he's gonna leave.

Hey, kids. Who wants to help make a circuit?

We're gonna make a circuit.

We would absolutely love to make a circuit, wouldn't we?

- No. - (SCREAMING, LAUGHING)

- Thanks. - Sure. No problem.

I don't know why I just....

I feel sad.

I mean, it was a fucking animal.

Are you a good guy?

What?

Are you a good guy?

No.

You wanna come in?

- Any nausea? - Comes and goes.

If we move forward,

I'd like you to meet with a counselor to discuss your options.

I'd like to take a look. Is that all right with you?

- I haven't told my husband yet. - Is it his?

Yes. Of course.

Okay, just relax.

There it is.

Looks good.

Perfectly healthy.

Do you wanna hear the heartbeat?

(FETAL HEARTBEAT)

(PHONE VIBRATING)

Goddamn it! I said, "two hands"!

- Hello? Hello? - (CRYING)

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

What was that?

(NO AUDIO)

(English US - SDH)