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1
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,592
[PHONE RINGING]
2
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,097
[HOARSE]
Hello.
3
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,975
[COUGHS]
4
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,476
Hello.
5
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,270
I love my new job!
6
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,273
- Honey, you're screaming.
- You bet your ass I am.
7
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,400
I just had the best first day ever.
8
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,736
The kitchen?
Twice as big as Allessandro's.
9
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,738
- Oh, that's great.
MONICA: Yeah.
10
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:35,200
And clean? Not just Health
Department-clean, Monica-clean.
11
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:36,952
Awesome.
12
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,288
Oh, and the people are so nice.
13
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,957
There's this one guy, Jeffrey,
he's the maître d'.
14
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,293
Chandler, you will love him.
15
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,254
He is without a doubt
the funniest guy I have ever met.
16
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,229
- This is nice.
- I know.
17
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,116
- You need both hands for that?
- Yeah, I kind of do.
18
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,326
Well, how's this?
19
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:16,718
Oh, look at you two holding hands.
20
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,971
Is this getting serious?
21
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,681
Well, I, you know...
22
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,975
Have you not talked about it yet?
23
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,728
Am I making you uncomfortable?
24
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,899
If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh?
25
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,030
I'm sorry, heh.
26
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:41,118
It's obviously way too early
for us to be having that conversation.
27
00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:43,203
- Is it?
- Maybe not. Is it?
28
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,205
Okay, when I got divorced...
29
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:48,876
...I didn't think I'd feel this way about
someone for a really long time.
30
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,879
Then again, I didn't think I'd meet
someone like you.
31
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:56,258
And this may be crazy-soon,
but I want you to have this.
32
00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,262
- No, not... That's gum.
- Oh.
33
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,850
Oh, five bucks.
I love it when that happens, you know?
34
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,477
- You don't know it's there...
- I know. Keep digging.
35
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:08,979
Oh, sorry.
36
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,568
Oh. It's a key.
37
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:18,113
To be honest, I think I'd prefer
the five dollars.
38
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,700
- It's to my apartment.
- Oh, wow.
39
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,369
Ooh. Big step for Phoebe and Mike.
40
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:27,748
Look, I don't want you to feel like
you have to give me your key...
41
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:30,667
- No, I want to.
- Oh, thank God.
42
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,961
Yeah.
43
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:36,089
Wow. I was starting to think
I'd never meet someone that...
44
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,717
...you know, I wanted to do this with.
45
00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,303
Here you go.
46
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,182
- This is cool, huh?
- It really is.
47
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:51,063
Oh, I know it. It is amazing.
These little things open doors.
48
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,027
So I don't go back to work
for another four weeks...
49
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,238
...but we would like our nanny
to start right away...
50
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,240
...so that Emma could get
a chance to know her.
51
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,575
I think that's really smart.
52
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,119
The easier we can make
the transition for her the better.
53
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,329
That's great. Great.
54
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,873
- So do you have any questions for us?
- Not really.
55
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,376
All right. Well, thank you
so much for coming.
56
00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:15,128
ROSS: Thank you.
- It was really nice to meet you.
57
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,798
- We will call you.
- Oh, you know, wait.
58
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,675
- I do have one question.
RACHEL: Yeah.
59
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,803
Do you guys do random drug testing?
60
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,808
Boy, we, uh,
hadn't really thought of that.
61
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:31,937
That's cool. But if you do,
I'm gonna need three days' notice.
62
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,563
Okey-dokey.
63
00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,817
Wow. We're never gonna find a nanny.
64
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:40,529
Come on, Rach. We will. I promise.
We have more interviews.
65
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:44,825
And worse comes to worst, we can always
reconsider the, uh, first one we met with.
66
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:48,787
- What, the blond with no bra?
- She was blond?
67
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,206
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
68
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,416
Just a sec.
69
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,794
- Okay, this one's name is Sandy.
- Okay.
70
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:59,214
She's got a degree in
Early Childhood Education.
71
00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:03,218
Uh, she worked for her last family
for three years.
72
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,761
Okay.
73
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,099
Hi. I'm Sandy.
74
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,980
And she's a little mannish.
75
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:19,693
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
76
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:25,073
- Ah! Oh, my God. David.
- Hi.
77
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:29,536
- Uh, is this a bad time?
- No, it's a great time. Come in.
78
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,830
Wow. Hi.
79
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,208
Oh, my gosh. What are you doing here?
Are you back from Minsk?
80
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,044
Well, just for a couple of days.
81
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,796
I'm here to explain to the people
who gave us our grant...
82
00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:42,758
...why it's a positive thing that
we've spent all their money...
83
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:46,219
...and, uh, accomplished, uh, nothing.
84
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,722
Who cares? It got you here.
85
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:52,059
Well, it got me to New York anyway.
Then I got in a cab at the airport...
86
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:53,894
...and the guy said, "Where to?"
87
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:57,856
I just gave him your address.
I didn't even think about it.
88
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,360
Wow. Where's your luggage?
89
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,821
Damn it.
90
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,408
All right, I'll call the cab company.
91
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:12,662
We can call them later.
Can you just stand there for a moment?
92
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,456
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
93
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:16,291
Boy.
94
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,294
There's an old Russian expression, um,
that goes:
95
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,964
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
96
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,467
Roughly translated, that means, um:
97
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,887
"This thing that I'm looking at: Wow."
98
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,432
Thank you.
99
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:36,186
Uh, no, you should see me when...
Actually, no, I look pretty good.
100
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,772
Are you kidding?
101
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,233
You know, when you don't see
someone for a long time...
102
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,985
...and you kind of build them up
in your head, you start thinking:
103
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:47,155
"Come on, don't be crazy,
nobody's that beautiful."
104
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,825
But, well, you are.
105
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:54,788
Well, so, um, are you seeing anyone?
106
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,874
No.
107
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,586
I'm just the worst person ever.
108
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,339
How can I not tell David
that I'm seeing Mike?
109
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,133
Maybe he didn't give you a chance.
110
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:09,761
He said, "Are you seeing someone?"
And I said, "No."
111
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,723
- Oh, well, that would've been your window.
- Yeah.
112
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,644
I mean, I don't know.
I was looking in his eyes...
113
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:21,398
...and I was just thinking,
"Oh, my God, it's David. David's here."
114
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,984
He's just so irresistible.
115
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,487
- Really? The scientist guy?
- Really? Chandler?
116
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,662
Continue.
117
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,998
Okay, then it gets worse...
118
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,250
...because I told him
I would see him tomorrow night.
119
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,879
- Phoebe.
- I know. Evil.
120
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:45,964
And, and, and, and...
121
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:51,553
I like Mike so much, you know?
It's just going really well. Oh, my God.
122
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,097
Wow, isn't it ironic that David
would show up...
123
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,766
...on the same day that
you and Mike exchange keys?
124
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:59,227
Uh-huh.
125
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,647
Yeah. You know, and given
my lifelong search for irony...
126
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,858
...you can imagine how happy I am.
127
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:10,447
- What are you gonna do?
- I mean, I guess I just have to...
128
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:14,117
...tell David that nothing
can happen between us.
129
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,578
Unless I don't.
130
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,747
You know, complicated moral situation?
131
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,583
- No right, no wrong?
- You have to tell David.
132
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:25,545
I knew I should've had this conversation
with Joey.
133
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,717
Funniest guy she's ever met.
134
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,969
I'm funny, right?
135
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,680
What do you know? You're a door.
136
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,600
You just like knock-knock jokes.
137
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,688
Save it for inside.
138
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,525
- Hey.
- Hey.
139
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:51,488
So Oklahoma's a crazy place. You know,
they call it the Sooner State.
140
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,115
Frankly, I'd sooner be in any other state.
141
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,703
And what's with Oklahoma
having a panhandle?
142
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,580
Can all states have stuff like that?
143
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:04,125
Hey, yeah, I'm from the, uh,
waistband of Wyoming.
144
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:08,380
But when I was 7,
we headed over to the crotch.
145
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,716
Was your cabin pressurized?
146
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:16,137
And don't get me started on the way
the people from Tulsa talk.
147
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,098
Okay.
148
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:24,145
What's with the word "y'all"? You know,
just two words just pushed together?
149
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:27,566
Are we all allowed to do that?
Because if so, I say why stop there?
150
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:31,403
You know, your new poodle
could be your noodle.
151
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,281
And fried chicken could be fricken.
152
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,367
Waiter? Waiter, excuse me,
I'll have the fricken.
153
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,038
See, that's funny with the fricken, right?
154
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:46,876
No, it just reminds me of something
this guy did today at work.
155
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,546
I told you about that funny guy, Jeffrey,
right?
156
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,131
Yeah, he came up.
157
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:56,303
Well, he did this bit.
You probably had to be there...
158
00:09:56,470 --> 00:10:01,141
...but it was Liza Minnelli locked
in our freezer eating a raw chicken.
159
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,851
Oh, ha, ha.
160
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:09,482
- Were you there?
- No, but it sounds fricken funny.
161
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:16,448
I really understand how hard it's gotta be
to leave your child with another person.
162
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,909
I mean, it's like leaving behind
a piece of your heart.
163
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:24,247
Sandy, that's exactly what it is.
164
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:29,252
- Are you gay?
- Ross.
165
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,588
It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do.
166
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,716
- But I am straight. I'm engaged, actually.
- Oh.
167
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,385
- Her name's Delia.
- That's pretty.
168
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:43,516
So you're just, like,
a guy who's a nanny.
169
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:49,022
I realize how it's a bit unorthodox
for some people.
170
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:53,234
But I really believe the most satisfying
thing you can do with your life...
171
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:54,903
...is take care of a child.
172
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,988
Okay.
173
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,034
Like at my last job.
174
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,328
I met Daniel when he was
3 weeks old.
175
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:07,123
And I got to watch him grow
into this awesome person.
176
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:10,418
When I left, I said, "I'll see you soon."
177
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:13,630
And he said to me, "Skadandy?"
178
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:18,051
- That was his name for me.
- Oh, ha, ha.
179
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:22,472
"I'll see you every day right in..."
180
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,557
[SOBBING]
181
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:32,732
- It's okay.
- Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap.
182
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:36,903
[EMMA CRYING]
183
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,447
Oh, God, she must need
her diaper changed.
184
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:44,327
- I can take care of that, if you want.
- Oh, that would be great.
185
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,999
I love him, I love him, I love him.
186
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,252
Oh, come on. Rach, he's a guy.
187
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,713
So what? He's smart. He's qualified.
188
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,048
Give me one good reason
we shouldn't try him out.
189
00:11:57,341 --> 00:12:00,719
Because it's weird.
190
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,345
Why?
191
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,014
What kind of a job is that for a man?
A nanny?
192
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,268
I mean, it's like if a woman
wanted to be...
193
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,728
Yes?
194
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,481
King?
195
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:18,903
I, uh, hope you don't mind. I used
some of my homemade lotion on Emma.
196
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:23,199
It's a mixture of calendula and
honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up.
197
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:26,494
Plus, it keeps the hands young.
198
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,420
Yes. Sandy, you're hired.
199
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,672
That's great.
200
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:42,635
I'm sorry.
201
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:46,264
It's just such an emotional thing
when you're welcomed into a new family.
202
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,766
Oh, God. Come here.
203
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,813
You gotta be at least bi.
204
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,531
Hey.
205
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,083
I need you to set me up for a joke.
206
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:16,711
When Monica's around,
ask me about fire trucks.
207
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:21,883
Ooh, I don't know, Chandler.
I'm not so good with remembering lines.
208
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,846
Well, thank God your livelihood
doesn't depend on it.
209
00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,848
I know, right?
210
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,351
Why are we doing this?
211
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:35,146
Monica says that her maître d'
is the funniest guy she's ever met.
212
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:39,317
- Seriously? She actually said that?
- Yes. Am I crazy to be this upset?
213
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,529
- No. Being funny's your thing.
- Yeah.
214
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:45,198
Without that, you just got
"lame with women."
215
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,326
Hi. There you are.
216
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,744
Fire trucks.
217
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,624
[INAUDIBLE]
218
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:04,968
Wow. You look even more beautiful
than you did yesterday.
219
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:09,222
- Ooh.
- In fact, I'm going to kiss you now.
220
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,350
- Oh, wait, wait.
- Yeah, I can't get away with stuff like that.
221
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,520
It sounded sexy in my head, so I...
222
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,897
No, no, it's not that.
223
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,357
[PHOEBE CLEARS THROAT]
224
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:23,319
Remember when you asked me
if I was seeing someone and I said no?
225
00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:29,993
- Well, um, I am. His name's Mike.
- Oh. Oh.
226
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,371
- I should've told you.
- No.
227
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,165
- Well, yeah.
- Yeah.
228
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:42,046
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Well, it's okay. I understand.
229
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,757
Well, are you happy with this guy?
230
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:47,051
- I am happy.
- Damn it.
231
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:50,680
I'm sorry. I don't mean that.
I want you to be happy.
232
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:54,142
But only with me. No, that's not fair.
Who cares. Leave him.
233
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,687
I don't mean that. Yes, I do.
I'm sorry. Um...
234
00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:02,108
- I think I should probably, uh, go.
- Well...
235
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:06,321
But, David, I just want you to know that,
you know...
236
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:11,075
...telling you this is one of the
hardest things I've ever had to do.
237
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,995
Well, just so you know...
238
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:17,290
...hearing it wasn't exactly
a Vladnik carnival, either.
239
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:23,796
- Can we at least hug goodbye?
- Of course. Yeah.
240
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:34,849
You know, and a kiss on the cheek
wouldn't be totally inappropriate.
241
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,810
- No. No.
- I mean...
242
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,190
- In Minsk?
- Yeah?
243
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,984
- It's, um, two on each cheek...
- Mm-hm.
244
00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:48,821
...and, uh, one on the lips.
- Well, if that's what they do in Minsk...
245
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,997
In New York, it's...
246
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,257
RACHEL:
Oh, boy.
247
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:11,719
Hi.
248
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,180
Is everything all right?
249
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,557
Oh, yeah. No, it's fine. It's fine.
250
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:20,561
Sandy was just telling me about how he
proposed to his fiancée...
251
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,605
...and it was so beautiful.
252
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:26,025
Well, her favorite flower is the camellia.
From the poem...
253
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,777
I can't hear it again.
254
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:30,947
You know, I can't tell it again.
255
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,491
And I'm fine never having heard it.
256
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:40,331
- Rach, can I see you for a sec?
- Yeah. Excuse me.
257
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:48,965
Do you realize that man has cried
in our apartment three times? Huh?
258
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,176
I haven't cried that many times
since I moved in.
259
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:55,722
Look, Ross, Sandy's just sensitive.
That's all.
260
00:16:55,889 --> 00:17:00,309
Okay, okay. See, that is the problem.
He is too sensitive.
261
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,437
Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
262
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:05,940
No, I mean, all I'm saying is that guy...
These are amazing.
263
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,027
Sandy made madeleines.
264
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:12,488
This is exactly
what I'm talking about.
265
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:18,202
What kind of a guy makes delicate
French cookies? Huh?
266
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,831
They're not even butch,
manly cookies with...
267
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,126
You know, with chunks.
268
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:31,424
Well, you know,
I don't know what to say.
269
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:35,511
I mean, I never thought of you as a guy
who needed his men to be men.
270
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:39,140
I gotta tell you, Ross, it's not like you
just came in from branding cattle.
271
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:48,399
Hey, there's sensitive
and there's too sensitive.
272
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,444
Okay, what is too sensitive?
273
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:54,447
[RECORDER MUSIC PLAYING]
274
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,263
No, I can't. I can't do this. It's bad.
275
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:24,185
- But it's nice. And nice is good.
- Mm-hm.
276
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,939
And good is not bad.
Ergo, we should keep kissing.
277
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,650
- No, no. No.
- But...
278
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:33,236
Ergo.
279
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:37,657
Look, David, if you had never left, then...
280
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,576
...yeah, we'd probably still be together
right now.
281
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:47,208
But you did leave. And I'm with Mike,
and I really care about him.
282
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:54,298
Well, um, goodbye. Uh...
283
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:58,302
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
284
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,596
[DOOR OPENS]
285
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:03,015
Well, the key works.
286
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:07,520
And, you, thanks for the face massage.
Thank you.
287
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,651
Did Rachel tell you we hired
a male nanny?
288
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,945
- Yeah. I think that's great.
- Oh, really?
289
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:21,784
Did she tell you he plays the recorder,
recites poetry and bakes madeleines?
290
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:28,249
- Oh. How are they?
- Lighter than air, but that's not the point.
291
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,544
- Hey.
- Hey.
292
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,963
Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
293
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,382
Really?
294
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,634
Guys do that?
295
00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:40,845
- That's weird.
- Thank you.
296
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,681
- That's like a woman wanting to be a...
- What?
297
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,435
- What's the end of that sentence?
- Yes. What is the end of that sentence?
298
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,062
Uh...
299
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,523
A penis model.
300
00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:01,032
Anyway, hey, did you tell Chandler
that some guy from work...
301
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,075
...is the funniest guy you ever met?
302
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:06,412
- Yeah. So?
- Wow.
303
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,540
Really? Do you not know Chandler?
304
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:15,963
Is that why he's acting so weird?
He's jealous?
305
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:17,298
Oh, my God, that is crazy.
306
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,884
- It's not like I'm attracted to Jeffrey.
JOEY: So what?
307
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:24,931
Being funny is Chandler's thing.
You know, like Ross' thing is...
308
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,729
Science?
309
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:37,235
- Academia? Being a good father?
- No.
310
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:43,324
- I can't believe he's that upset about this.
- You have to do some damage control.
311
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:44,825
Because he's feeling like...
312
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,745
CHANDLER: Hey.
- Hey. Hey.
313
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,831
- What are you guys talking about?
ROSS: Uh, ahem.
314
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:54,627
Rachel and I, uh, hired a male nanny.
315
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,505
You got a man who's a nanny?
316
00:20:58,382 --> 00:20:59,674
You got a "manny"?
317
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,011
[ALL LAUGHING]
318
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,352
You know, I don't mind a male nanny...
319
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,354
...but I do draw the line
at male wet nurse.
320
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:21,195
Oh! Oh! You are on a roll, mister.
321
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:24,991
If I'd known you guys were coming over,
I would've brought more pizza.
322
00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:31,455
Okay. Okay. Stop it, you.
You stop it.
323
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,668
What is so funny about that?
324
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,755
I don't know, it's...
Well, just the way you say it.
325
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:43,884
I mean, you're funny. You have
that funny thing. You're a funny guy.
326
00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:48,597
Did you tell her what we talked about?
327
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:50,683
[LAUGHS]
328
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:55,896
Yeah.
329
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:02,945
So those were pity laughs?
Pity laughs?
330
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,990
MONICA:
Honey, listen.
331
00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:08,409
You have nothing to worry about
with Jeffrey.
332
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:10,703
Oh, yeah? Is he funnier than me?
333
00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:13,581
Well, you're different funny.
334
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,083
I mean, you're more sarcastic.
335
00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:19,962
And, well, he does bits and impressions
and limericks.
336
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,255
I do limericks.
337
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:26,927
Uh, there once was a man named Chandler
whose wife made him die inside.
338
00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:31,098
Honey, you know I think you're hilarious.
339
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:33,184
You know that joke
you told me last week?
340
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,228
The one about Jerry Lewis
and the girl with the lazy eye?
341
00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:37,980
That slayed me.
342
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,568
Hey. I made up that joke
and told it to you.
343
00:22:46,281 --> 00:22:48,366
- Not knowing when to shut up.
- Yep, that's my thing.
344
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:50,159
Yup.
345
00:22:57,167 --> 00:23:00,461
So how many guys have your key?
346
00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:03,506
No, no, no. It's not as bad as it looks.
347
00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:05,758
I was saying goodbye to an old friend.
348
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:08,219
Your lipstick's on his mouth.
349
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:12,014
Oh, uh, we just, uh,
happen to wear the same shade.
350
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:16,477
No, um, David and I did used to go out.
351
00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:21,774
But years ago. And he lives in Minsk.
He's only in town for a couple days.
352
00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:24,151
- Did you, uh...?
- No. No.
353
00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:25,986
- Kiss him?
- Oh, well, yeah.
354
00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:30,741
Yes, but you should know,
she really likes you.
355
00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:34,370
In fact, I don't think you realize
just how lucky you are, fella.
356
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:36,914
- Don't point your finger at me.
- Why?
357
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:38,666
What are you gonna do about it?
358
00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:41,752
Well, I'll show you
what I'm gonna do about it.
359
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,464
- Oh, really? Really?
- You want some of that? Huh? Huh?
360
00:23:48,301 --> 00:23:51,429
Stop it. Stop it.
Before someone gets really hurt.
361
00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:56,600
Here, David, you should just go.
362
00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:58,060
All right.
363
00:23:59,312 --> 00:24:04,024
But if I ever do come back from Minsk,
well, you just better watch out.
364
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,445
- If I go to Minsk, you better watch out.
- Oh, you're going to Minsk?
365
00:24:07,654 --> 00:24:10,489
- Well, I might.
- Really?
366
00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:13,993
Well, if you do, come in the spring.
It's just lovely there.
367
00:24:14,369 --> 00:24:17,663
- Okay, well, guys?
- Well...
368
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:19,748
- Goodbye, Phoebe.
- Bye.
369
00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:23,502
- Hey, what, are you kidding me?
- Right-o. Right-o.
370
00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:29,133
Take good care of her.
371
00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:34,138
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
372
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:37,641
If you want your key back,
I totally understand.
373
00:24:39,352 --> 00:24:42,313
- It's never gonna happen again, right?
- Right. Never. I swear.
374
00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:50,196
I... Oh, I just want to say, if you do ever
come to Minsk, that's my number.
375
00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:53,824
We'll, uh, party up Vladnik-style.
376
00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:03,375
[RECORDERS PLAYING]
377
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,342
JOEY:
Yeah. All right.
378
00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:15,930
Hey, Ross. Check it out.
Sandy taught me "Hot Cross Buns."
379
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:19,058
Really? Sounded like "Three Blind Mice."
380
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:22,186
- No, "Three Blind Mice" goes like this.
- I swear to God.
381
00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:29,318
- Who's up for puppets?
- Me. I'm up for puppets.
382
00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:32,613
Well, please welcome:
383
00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,740
The Snufflebumps.
384
00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:38,577
Who wants to be Mr. Wigglemunch
and who's gonna be the Grumpus?
385
00:25:38,745 --> 00:25:43,958
Okay, okay, how exactly is a 2-month-old
supposed to appreciate puppets?
386
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:48,462
Studies show that the movement and
colors help their cerebral development.
387
00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:52,174
The whimsical characters are just for us.
388
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:59,139
I want to be Mr. Wigglemunch.
389
00:26:00,308 --> 00:26:01,559
Oh, my God.
390
00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:04,520
Well, I guess we know
who's gonna be the Grumpus.
391
00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:06,647
[RACHEL & JOEY LAUGH]
392
00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:12,653
- That was kind of rude.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
393
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:16,865
Please apologize to Sandy
and the Snufflebumps for me.
394
00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:20,369
- You know, he was just doing his job.
- You know what?
395
00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:26,750
I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't
in love with Gary Poppins out there.
396
00:26:29,212 --> 00:26:31,797
But I just... I can't go through with this.
397
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:33,632
- Come on.
- No. You know what?
398
00:26:33,883 --> 00:26:38,846
I would never force you to hire someone
you were this uncomfortable with.
399
00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:44,393
Ugh, that's true.
400
00:26:44,561 --> 00:26:45,728
Thank you.
401
00:26:45,979 --> 00:26:48,314
You want to fire him,
so you're gonna have to go do it.
402
00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:50,316
[CHUCKLES]
403
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:57,573
So you see, Wigglemunch,
that's why it's important to share.
404
00:26:59,326 --> 00:27:02,620
I am learning so much from you.
405
00:27:07,542 --> 00:27:08,792
Well, I'm off to Tulsa.
406
00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:12,421
So if your maître d' friend
has any funny Oklahoma jokes...
407
00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:17,343
...tell him to e-mail me at
www-dot-ha-ha-not-so-much-dot-com.
408
00:27:19,554 --> 00:27:21,138
Honey, you can relax.
409
00:27:21,348 --> 00:27:24,725
Last night at work
Jeffrey told this really sexist joke.
410
00:27:24,893 --> 00:27:27,811
- After that, not so funny anymore.
- Really?
411
00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:31,815
See, that's the thing.
You gotta keep it smart, people.
412
00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:35,319
Okay. Don't miss that flight.
You know I love you.
413
00:27:35,570 --> 00:27:37,321
I love you too.
414
00:27:38,073 --> 00:27:41,825
- And I like you as a friend.
JOEY: Right.
415
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,536
- See you later.
CHANDLER: See you.
416
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:49,625
- Did the guy really make that joke?
- No, he still kills me.
417
00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:54,088
Last night he had me laughing so hard,
I swear, a little pee came out.
418
00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:03,597
Here goes.
419
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:07,101
I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo.
420
00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:13,148
Sandy? Hi.
421
00:28:13,316 --> 00:28:15,067
- Hi.
- We, uh...
422
00:28:15,235 --> 00:28:17,277
We kind of need to talk.
423
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,575
I'm afraid it's not working out.
424
00:28:26,496 --> 00:28:28,247
- Oh.
- Yeah, um...
425
00:28:28,456 --> 00:28:33,752
I mean, Rachel and I think
you are great with Emma. Um...
426
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,172
- We just feel...
RACHEL: You. You feel.
427
00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:40,718
I just feel...
428
00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:46,098
...that the chemistry isn't right.
I'm sorry.
429
00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:48,934
We're more than happy to give you
a good recommendation.
430
00:28:49,185 --> 00:28:53,522
No, that's okay. I had a lot of offers
from other families.
431
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:55,983
I just picked you guys because...
432
00:28:56,151 --> 00:29:00,237
...I liked you the best.
RACHEL: Oh, damn you, Geller.
433
00:29:03,491 --> 00:29:06,493
Anyway, uh, well, I'm glad
there's no hard feelings.
434
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:11,540
No, none at all. You need to be happy
with whoever is in your home.
435
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:15,294
Although, if you don't mind telling me...
436
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:18,922
...what was the problem? Maybe it's
something I can work on in the future.
437
00:29:19,132 --> 00:29:25,262
No, you know, it's, uh, nothing you did.
It's... It's, uh, my issue.
438
00:29:26,389 --> 00:29:27,973
What is it?
439
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:30,267
Uh, heh...
440
00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,060
Please?
441
00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:38,358
You know, I'm just not, um,
that comfortable...
442
00:29:38,526 --> 00:29:42,112
...with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
443
00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:44,198
That's fair.
444
00:29:45,241 --> 00:29:48,869
Although, can I ask,
why do you think that is?
445
00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:51,330
Why? I don't know.
446
00:29:56,169 --> 00:29:58,587
Um... Uh...
447
00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:01,590
Maybe because of my father?
448
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:03,217
Mm.
449
00:30:04,511 --> 00:30:08,430
I mean, uh, you know, when I was
growing up, he was a tough guy.
450
00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:13,477
You know, and as a kid,
I wasn't the athlete I am now.
451
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:15,354
[RACHEL LAUGHS]
452
00:30:15,855 --> 00:30:18,649
I play squash.
453
00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:27,825
Anyway, I, uh... I always got the feeling
he thought I was too sensitive.
454
00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:29,660
That must have been hard.
455
00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:33,247
It was hard.
456
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:39,711
I remember I was in my bedroom,
playing with my dinosaurs...
457
00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,130
Playing and learning.
458
00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:50,639
And my father walks in and says,
"What are you doing with those things?
459
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:56,770
What's wrong with you? Why aren't you
outside playing like a real boy?"
460
00:30:57,063 --> 00:31:00,357
- But you are a real boy.
- I know I am.
461
00:31:02,652 --> 00:31:07,781
And when it's summer and it's hot,
why can't you wear a tank top?
462
00:31:09,158 --> 00:31:15,372
It's all right. Crying is good.
It lets the boo-hoos out.
463
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,876
Here comes some more.
464
00:31:27,427 --> 00:31:30,679
And what's the one kind of boat
that can never ever sink?
465
00:31:30,972 --> 00:31:35,851
- What kind?
- A friend ship.
466
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:41,064
Wow. You blow my mind.
467
00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:45,068
- Oh, I gotta go.
- Aw.
468
00:31:45,236 --> 00:31:47,029
- How much do I owe you?
- Twenty bucks.
469
00:31:47,655 --> 00:31:50,699
It's like the cheapest college ever.
470
00:31:53,661 --> 00:31:55,662
[English - US - SDH]
37163
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