Original subtitles

Cath Erin e: The conflict between the werewolves and the vampires

generates such an energy, upon which the devil feasts.

I don't need blood anymore.

You stay away. You are regret and disgust and nothing more!

You want to talk to the real me? Hello!

Hal: I believe I have some work for you.

I'll be right over.

Rook: Bobby. Excellent.

I see you've started packing.

How long will I be there?

Not long. A few days. A week at the most.

Then you'll come right back.

This is what you said was happening.

"I have to talk to the Chinese from China.

"You know China, don't you, Bobby?

"They're going to give us funding so we can keep the archive open and I...

"I can carry on doing my job."

Then I said, "the Chinese eat rice."

And you said, "yes, and if we get their funding,

"perhaps we'll have to eat rice too.

"We could have sweet and sour chicken chow mein."

And then I said, "I don't like rice."

And then you did that thing where you smile

but that vein in your head sort of pulses.

Yes, that seems a pretty thorough...

- This werewolf... - I believe he's called Tom.

- Is he nice? - We've barely... yes, he's very nice.

I don't want to go.

Bobby, they're about to cut the electricity.

It'll be jolly cold and there won't be any lights.

All the same, it'll be jolly creepy.

This isn't a permanent arrangement. I hope I've made that clear.

Once I've secured the funding, you'll be brought straight back!

But, plus all my posters are here.

I'm sure Tom wouldn't mind if you took a couple with you.

But more importantly, Bobby, the locks are linked to the grid!

With the electricity gone, we won't have any way of containing you.

Do you understand what that means?

I'll take Burt Reynolds and worzel gummidge, please.

- Tom: Nah, I'm not doing it. No way. - He can't stay in the archive.

I have no staff

and, with the electricity turned off,

no way of containing him during the full moon.

Tell him about the deal.

After some unfortunate encounters, we've made a pledge to avoid contact

with other supernaturals.

They're nothing but trouble.

Bobby's no trouble. Are you, Bobby?

Bobby? What is it?

He does this. It's nothing to...

He's thinking.

No, it's me.

He's noticed our friend Alex. She's a ghost.

You hear that, Bobby? They have a ghost.

- Goodness gracious. - Why can't he go somewhere else?

He needs to be billeted with people

who have the experience and tools to deal with his condition.

And this household does owe me a favor.

- Alex: For what? - Cleaning up after Ian.

Speaking of whom, he has adopted the sobriquet "crumb"

and gone on a killing spree.

He's claimed at least six victims in the last month alone.

- I haven't seen anything in the papers. - No.

I have reason to believe he's formed an alliance with an ex-employee of mine.

Alan. Together they can kill at will and leave no trace.

I want you to deal with them,

- however you see fit. - It's not my responsibility.

You made crumb.

Besides, you've cost my department a lot of time and resources

over the centuries.

This is your chance to give a little something back.

Big society and so forth.

And Mr. Mcnairwill look after Bobby until I'm back.

No chance.

It wouldn't be for long.

What about work? He's not coming to work. Look at him!

What's your job?

Erm, I'm assistant manager in a hotel.

Skill.

Is he being sarcastic? Truth be told, I'm never quite sure.

I'll be back before the full moon.

Bobby, do whatever Mr. Mcnair says. I'll show myself out.

So what are we gonna say?

Stop killing people?

Who's there?

Hello, Ian. It's hal.

There is no Ian. There is only crumb!

Okay, crumb. It's still hal.

And Alex...

Why didn't you say so? To what do I owe the pleasure?

We've come to see if you need some help?

Do I look like I need help?

Crumb: Alan, we've got company!

Alan: Not more pizza?

No, no, I think they've ran out of delivery boys.

Alan, this is hal

and Alex. And this is Hazel.

Alan: Hal. I've read your file. Huge fan.

That's Alex? "Alex" Alex?

Huh?

Jings.

You know, they say death

is a natural aphrodisiac.

Crumb... Ian. This has to stop.

We don't want it to stop.

We've got blood, we've got girls...

Flaming orc.

Look, I understand the thrill of this newfound power,

the exhilaration, but I told you, it won't last.

Sooner or later it gives way to guilt, to horror.

We know what to do about that!

Hair of the dog! Just start all over again.

Yeah, would you just excuse us for a minute?

They're nuts. I say we stake them both and we get the hell out of here.

No. Rook said I could deal with crumb however I saw fit.

Yes, and we both know that that was posh-boy talk for "kebab him".

There has been enough death and violence.

This is where it ends.

We can help him, and his friend. For once, we can do some good.

Crumb: Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's right!

I want to help you.

You had your chance when I came asking, remember?

You didn't give a shit then.

That was wrong of me. But I want to make up for it now.

With our help, you can leave all this behind, both of you.

You can have careers, friends, even...

Even lovers.

What, like you?

Yes. I have a full and rewarding life.

- All right, then. - What?

We're in.

- When's Mr. Rook coming back? - I don't know.

- What you doing? - What's it look like?

I'm not allowed to iron.

Last time I ironed something my legs got burned pretty badly.

How did... never mind.

- Can I take my shoes off? - No.

- Can I sit under the table? - No.

Have you got an answering machine? Specifically the bell-tone 500.

How should... no, we haven't!

The bell-tone 500 was one of the last answering machines

to use the little cassettes.

Brilliant, that. Honestly.

- When's Mr. Rook coming back? - I don't know, mate.

Hal: Hello!

- What are they doing here? - Alex: I told him.

Whoa.

Who's he?

A werewolf from the archive. What are you doing here?

I live here now. Mr. Tom's looking after me.

Bobby is another temporary guest.

What do you mean, "another"?

Crumb and his friend Alan are gonna be staying with us

while we help them get off the blood.

Nice to see you again, housemate.

Hal: Tom!

By bringing them into our pact, we're making it bigger, stronger.

Helping them will help us.

- I don't trust them. - Good. Don't. They're junkies.

But with the right sort of help they can change.

If I can be redeemed, surely they can too.

Fine, okay. But I'm not cleaning up any poo.

You can count me out. I'm going to work.

Tom, as you may remember, the early stages of blood withdrawal

can be quite frenetic.

I don't think it's a good idea for Bobby to be around that.

Well, he's not going to the hotel. No way!

Dude, why are you being such a dick? This isn't like you.

I'm not! Just... look at him.

He's smelly and hairy

and he asks loads of stupid questions all the time.

Oh, my god. You're a snob.

That's tot... shut up, man.

No, he's right!

You've got a house and you've got a job and you've become a snob.

- Big snob. - Ha! I don't believe it.

Nah, you don't know what you're ta...

Right, come on, then, Bobby, we're leaving!

Tom, before you go,

can I have some of your blood?

It's like battersea bleeding dogs home in here.

Right, sit here.

Don't touch anything, don't talk to any guests

and don't bother any staff.

As you can see, we're rushed off our feet.

- It's huge. - Here we go. What is?

- Can I sit in a smaller room? - No, you cannot.

This is a luxury dining suite

suitable for intimate dinners for two or family celebrations.

Appreciate it, okay?

Yeah? Thank you.

Hal: Because Alex can't be trusted, this will be your home by night.

You will experience nightmares,

delusions, cramps, guilt.

You'll wish you were dead,

but when you make it through to the other side,

you'll Cherish life even more.

For the day, I have prepared a rigorous program

of housework, exercises,

routine tasks, designed to suppress your cravings and control your appetites.

Contact with even the smallest drop of blood

could resurrect my more monstrous side,

so Alex has kindly agreed to assist us.

Should have worn my leotard.

- Yeah, you should have. - That'd be nice.

The one on the left... is the human blood you brought with you.

The one on the right, kindly donated by Tom, is werewolf blood.

One will dissolve your organs from the inside out,

the other will rot your soul, until there's nothing of you left.

Both will kill you.

One just more quickly than the other.

If, at any point in this process, you feel you can no longer resist,

then these glasses will be here for you.

All you have to do is ask.

But if you take one, you must be prepared to die.

One way or the other. Any questions?

Why are you still here?

- What do you mean? - He attacked me, recruited me,

took me prisoner.

You were shocked, you were so hurt.

But you're still here, still friends.

Because he's fighting it.

Every day, he's trying to be something better.

And, I don't know, I guess I admire that.

I respect it.

So how long was you in that place?

Thirty-three years.

Have you got an answering machine here? A bell-tone 500?

I doubt it.

So what happened, Bobby?

I went fishing. I caught a condom this big.

That's when it run past.

Cut my back and pushed me in the water.

I was 12.

I know that because it was my birthday a month later,

and the whole of my family come round for a barbecue.

A month later. Oh, mate.

Mr. Rook always says it was quick

and they wouldn't have felt any pain.

It weren't your fault.

Mr. Rook always says that I'm a savage and deadly predator,

that society should be protected from.

He must be right, he drives a Lexus.

Whatever. You're out now.

It's a chance to do things different, a chance to make something of yourself.

Right, come on. We'll start tomorrow.

I'm gonna introduce you to the exciting world

of hotel and leisure management.

Hazel: Hello, you.

What's wrong?

Can't you see her?

It's... thingy.

Hazel.

Hazel.

The girl we killed in the flat last night!

There's nothing there. It's just the lack of blood.

Now shut up, I'm trying to concentrate.

What are you doing?

In the archive, they taught us how to get loose

in case we ever got captured by one of your lot.

Our lot.

Nearly there.

No, I'm all right, don't worry about me.

Don't tell me you're doing this for real?

I made a promise to Alex. And hal.

So? What's that got to do with...

Oh, my god.

You fancy Alex!

That's why you're doing this!

Oh man, that's funny.

Really, if I wasn't already dead, I would die laughing.

I'm not listening to you!

You really think someone like Alex would go for someone like you?

Never mind me, that's the delusion.

Besides, she's totally shagging hal.

She's not! They're just friends!

Please. There's hal,

body of a Greek god.

Then there's you, body of a Greek waiter.

Get off! Leave me alone!

Girls like us never go for guys like you.

Forget what your mum said, it's not about personality,

it's not about letting us see the special boy inside.

I mean, you became a vampire,

and you still had to kill me to get me.

I said, shut up!

Totally uncalled for.

Bobby: Hello, the Bobby grand, Barry speaking.

No, you did it again. It's the Barry grand, and you're Bobby.

- Sorry. The Barry grand and I'm Bobby. - Yeah.

- The Barry grand and I'm Bobby. - Yeah.

Sometimes I like to throw in the old,

"what's the weather like where you are?"

Just to get them nice and relaxed before you tell them the price.

No, icouldn't. This is all moving too fast for me.

No, it's not, you can do it! I did it, so you can too.

But you're brilliant.

I think "brilliant" is a bit...

I don't know, like, it's your decision, mate. You know...

Yeah, you are. You own a hotel, you wear a tie.

I wore a tie for Christmas 2006 and I burned me legs pretty badly.

How did... never mind.

Shall we do it again, then?

- Morning, patients! - Alex: Where's Alan?

He got out in the night, he tried to make me drink blood.

You're supposed to be here to stop killing!

I know, that's what I want, but he didn't!

He was my only friend, and I put a stake through his heart

because I want to be clean.

Look, I didn't touch the blood!

I could've tested it and drank it and driven the nightmares out,

but I didn't because I want your help.

Please, don't give up on me yet!

Let's get started.

Come on!

Feel that burn!

We have... er... raspberry.

Some... vanilla?

Some vanilla...

Now what you do is... you just have to circle it round the once, basically.

- Circle it? - On the ground! On the ground!

Alex!

Hello, the Barry grand. Bobby speaking.

Whoa, Bobby.

You'll need that when you get to the yeoman's market...

And relax.

- What did you see? - My niece.

I used to take her to Blackpool.

She was desperate to go on this old rollercoaster called the mousetrap,

so I'd stand her on my foot so she'd look tall enough.

It was brilliant. She screamed so loud.

It was the same scream she made when I killed her mum.

Only that was horrible.

It was even worse when I made her stop.

- I need some blood. - No.

It's good, you need to feel it.

Because the next time you want to kill, that's what you remember.

You hold onto that memory, and you stop.

Do you understand? You stop.

What did you think of?

- This isn't about me. - I need to know...

You can be clean with things like that in your head.

Please!

Sylvie.

I don't know why.

That was over two hundred years ago.

What was she like?

Breathtaking.

Curious.

Mischievous, opinionated. Infuriating.

Delicate one minute, foulmouthed the next.

My love for her was a physical ache...

In the pit of my belly that I never wanted to be free from.

Did she know what you were?

But she thought she could save me.

She thought her love, her friendship,

her body, would keep me strong and clean.

What happened?

I always have a rough idea of when I am about to...

Revert.

But this time... He came from nowhere.

I was out riding when suddenly I decided to turn my horse round,

ride back to the house and kill everyone inside it.

As if I was deciding to change into a warmer coat.

I worked my way up from the kitchens and found her sitting on our bed.

She didn't look frightened or even surprised.

Just disappointed.

She told me not to blame myself.

She said it was stupid of her to think she could change me.

I agreed.

And then I laughed.

Ah...

So that's why you're with Alex now. You can't kill her.

I'm not with Alex.

Really?

Two decks of cards. Dinosaurs and peppa pig.

But... hal, cover your ears.

Mixed together.

- Knock yourselves out. - Hal: Excuse me.

Everything okay?

It makes you think of all the horrible things

you wish you'd never done in your life.

Yeah, I used to get like that on Sambuca.

Here we are again.

This keeps happening.

I'm not sure about "keeps".

Do you remember when hal first brought me here?

Yeah, probably shouldn't have let you out, in retrospect.

Hmm. But you did. Hmm, what does that tell us?

How long can we keep up this charade?

You'd be surprised.

Alex.

May I treat you to a fish supper?

Hold that thought.

Oh, he just asked me out on a date. At least, I think he did, anyway.

He's asked me out for a fish supper. Is that an English thing?

I don't think that's a good idea.

Yeah, well, I wasn't actually considering it.

I only told you so we could toss our heads back and laugh smugly.

But, once again, you have ruined my fun.

In fact, I'm not sure it's worth continuing with this at all.

Are we ever truly safe?

Can we ever really properly assimilate?

Of course. Look at you!

I mean, one minute you are knee-deep in virgins,

the next you're having a letter read out on you and yours.

- Please. - No.

What you said to crumb was true, we can have a normal human life.

I mean, isn't that why we're doing this?

Not just for crumb, but for everything. A house, job, a nectar card.

- It's to be human. - Pretending. It's... it's dressing up.

No, it's keeping us safe.

It's stopping you from going on a killing spree,

it's stopping me from going loopy like Mary.

All we're doing is marking time until the inevitable happens.

Kinda like life, then?

Hal, we have got to grab every scrap of normality that we can,

whether that's watching rubbish telly, laughing, going on a crap date.

- Going on a crap date! - No.

- Yeah. - No. You're not serious?

Hey, I once ate 11 tins of alphabetti spaghetti to prove a point.

This... this is nothing.

Ha! Yeah, I'm gonna go out on a date with crumb.

And I'm gonna show you that normality and all those human things are possible.

Don't get me wrong, if he tries anything,

I will drop a piano on his head.

But apart from that, we're gonna have a great time, a great normal time.

You watch.

Bobby!

Bobby!

Bobby!

A present for you, mate.

It's the bell-tone 500.

Yeah, I got it off the eBay.

Would you plug it in for me?

Woman: Hello, Bobby, love.

Hope you had a good day at school.

There's last night's macaroni cheese for your tea, so pop it in the oven.

My shift finishes at 10:00, so get yourself to bed after shoestring.

Love you, monkey.

Mum finished work late most nights so I'd just let meself in.

So she'd leave me messages because I liked hearing her voice.

They, um...

They let me take the answer phone into the archive,

but it got broken in 1997 and they'd stopped making them by then.

Sol, um... I haven't been able to listen to this.

Well, I'm really pleased you like it. You do like it, don't ya?

Love it.

Rook: Bobby! Bobby!

Bobby, put him down! My god!

Mr. Rook!

I knew this would happen. Mr. Mcnair, I can't apologize enough...

That's all right, he was just hugging me, weren't he?

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine, I just need to sit down for a second.

How did it go with the Chinese?

Not well.

They were more interested in what return they could get

from their investment.

Because keeping the world safe clearly isn't

enough of a fucking return!

Anyway,

I promised I'd be back before the full moon, so here I am.

Now then, I was thinking,

perhaps I can rig up some emergency lighting in the archive.

No, it's all right, because Mr. Tom said

that I can change in the cellar in his house.

Yeah, I usually change there, but I'll just go to the woods.

I've done it hundreds of times.

He's done it hundreds of times.

Yes, but this can't be a permanent arrangement, Bobby.

We agreed it wouldn't be safe, remember?

No, listen, I know you love looking people up,

but I'm looking after Bobby now.

He's not an animal, he's a nice guy. He's got potential.

You could do brilliant things, mate.

No! Bobby, please!

Just keep it inside you, man.

Mr. Tom's gonna teach me mountaineering, swimming.

He's one of the country's most sought-after lifeguards. Ain't ya?

- Hello, Mr. Rook. - Crumb.

It's "Ian," actually.

But you're... so hal decided to...

Not kill him. No.

Instead, Ian is working through his issues and making a fresh start.

Oh, yes, I've come a long way from when you made me kill my niece!

As I told you at the time, that was a tragic accident.

I thought seeing his family would have a stabilizing effect.

No, it's fine, it's fine!

That's all behind me.

I have developed coping strategies

and found positive outlets for my energies.

In fact, tonight I shall be enjoying a meal with a young lady.

Hal: He means Alex. The ghost.

And Alan?

Irredeemable and remorseless.

He was about to go on a rampage, but thankfully Ian intervened.

Well, that's...

That's wonderful.

I must confess, I...

Never imagined that you...

And Bobby would adapt to the world quite so smoothly.

Clearly my work here,

as they say, is done.

You could work here. One of the maids has got impetigo.

You're very kind,

but the ministry for agriculture are looking for a...

Junior researcher.

Isuppose, after running an entire department

with an annual budget of a hundred million pounds, it...

Could be considered a bit of a backwards step...

Needs must.

I shall bid you farewell.

Hatch: I'd know that suit anywhere.

Yes. Vampires they were.

They tied me in chains and incanted spells.

Savages.

I thought I was done for. And then there you were. The boys in gray.

No, I'd be burning in hell if it wasn't for your lot.

You can imagine my shock when I found one of them was working here.

And a werewolf, too!

I wanted to get your lot round here with a big net.

- How did you know what they were? - The vampire's careless.

Stands in front of mirrors, then realizes and runs away.

Someone points a camera at him and he nearlyjumps out of the window.

And the wolf?

Well, that was a guess.

He disappears every full moon. Turns up the next morning, looking knackered.

Anyway, here you are. Which one of them are you after?

Neither, I'm afraid.

For one thing, they seem to have rehabilitated.

Oh, you don't believe that.

Doesn't matter what I believe. My department has been dissolved.

No, no.

This won't do at all.

I can only spend £12.

Well, I can't actually eat, so you just knock yourself out.

Oh. Excellent!

Must be nice, knowing you'll never get fat.

I know what you women are like.

Mind you, just as well. No one likes a fat girl.

And believe me, they are not all jolly.

Waiter.

Waiter!

How's it going?

Brilliant? Ian is fascinating.

Already covered loads of topics.

My eleven favorite cheeses.

Yeah, it's a riot. Of normality.

Right. Ready to order?

Question. Does the pommes Anna come with frites?

Gcse French. Exam and oral.

Ooh, la la.

- Actually pommes Anna is a potato dish. - Mmm-hmm.

But let me ask chef. And for madam?

Oh, she's not eating.

Oh?

She's dead.

Yes. No that's, erm, a fair point.

You see, I just... iforget sometimes.

But you know what? I never had lobster.

I think I'd have that.

Not for 28 quid, you wouldn't.

No, of course. It would be a waste, wouldn't it?

Very prudent. Good!

There's a full moon tonight.

How many werewolves are there in this country?

About 35 registered. We estimate the same number again, unknown and at large.

All those monsters, out there right now. It makes your blood run cold.

And with your department gone there'll be nothing to stop them.

It's only a matter of time before one attacks, I don't know,

a party of girl guides out camping.

And then they'll be begging you to return.

I don't doubt it.

It'll be too late, though, for the poor little blighters

with their faces ripped off.

If only the powers that be could get a taste

of the chaos they're about to create.

I've tried something like that already.

Last month I filmed a vampire killing members of his own family.

I thought if the minister could see what they were capable of...

What did he say?

"This is within allowable parameters of carnage."

How many does he want?

Well, that's a very interesting question.

How many does he want?

I'm not sure you can put a figure on it.

He clearly thinks you can.

Well, four? Ten? A dozen?

I don't know. A major policy shift?

Ten, minimum. But the point is...

But that's the problem, isn't it?

Yet, you want to keep it to a minimum, of course,

but you can't arrange something like that.

You can't choose how many people they savage.

You can't contain them in that way.

What is it, son?

Nothing, a stupid idea.

Well, I won't tell a soul.

The sanctity of the confessional and all that.

The two werewolves here, one is going to the woods,

the other to his companion's cellar.

Ah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, I see where you're going.

If he was not to make it...

No, no, the guests...

Widows and sales reps.

It's them or the girl guides.

Right, here's the keys. You wanna get going in the next 10, just to be safe.

- Good luck. - Thanks, Tom.

You're all right, mate.

Eurgh! Flat! It tastes like piss.

Oh. I'll get you something else.

We have a wide selection of bottled beers.

Bottled beer? Do I look like a spaniard? Change the barrel.

Oh, unless you've got something better to do.

No, no, it's fine.

Bobby: I can do this. Tom said,

"like a clock, ready to rock. Like a clock,

"ready to rock. Like a clock, ready to rock. Like a clock...

"Ready to rock."

Yes! Hi-five!

Hello?

Bobby: Hello?

Help! Please! Hello?

Hello? The door's shut on me, you've got to let me out!

I've got to be somewhere very important! Please!

Please open the door! Please let me out! Please!

Please, let me out! Please! You've got to let me out of here!

Please! Please! Please!

So, if you want to repel an enemy horde,

or ward off a spell from an evil warlock, what do you do?

Er, phone a friend, I don't know.

You use your amulet! It's like you're not listening!

- Can I get you anything else? - No, we are great.

Tell me more about flaming dork.

- Orc! - Whatever.

Well, just call me if there is.

Right.

- So, what's going on? - What?

Hal's just having a little bit of a crisis of faith.

So... I just want to prove to him that people like us

can still do all the normal stuff we used to, you know? Like...

Go for dinner, talk about... nothing.

Right. No, that makes sense.

See, I thought you were here because you liked me, but, no, it's all right.

It's all just slotted into place.

Wait, erm, I'm not explaining this very well, er...

You gave me a look earlier.

I've not been on many dates, but they both gave me that same look.

Sort of irritation and pity.

I thought, "you're being paranoid, Ian. You're one of the undead now,

"things must be different."

Butno.

Dead Hazel was right, some stuff follows you everywhere.

No, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that...

You don't even see me! You just see him.

You're not the one who's invisible!

What shall we have for dessert?

I think I'll have profiteroles. Why don't you?

Go on.

Have some fucking profiteroles!

Hello?

- What's the weather like where you are? - Bobby? Are you all right, mate?

Well, erm... I managed to change a beer barrel,

but now I'm locked in the barrel room. It's okay, though.

- What? - I mean...

No, Bobby! It's not soundproofed, someone'll hear you, they'll come down!

Argh!

Argh!

- It's done. - Relax. It's for the greater good.

Three card brag?

I'll just go and see what's going on.

Anyone got 50 pence for the meter?

- Is that your stomach? - Oh, my god.

Hal: Bobby?

Bobby?

You're not hustling me, are you, captain?

Everyone stay calm. It's just a stray from outside.

Come on, Bobby.

Hal: Everybody out!

Bobby! Bobby!

Hal: Bobby!

Everybody out!

Alex: Not you!

- Crumb: What are you doing? - Bobby! Bobby!

- Alex: Bobby! This way! - No, Bobby, come to me.

He can smell that you're vampires. You can lead him away from the humans,

and get them somewhere safe.

First floor west, there's no one in those rooms.

I'm not staying here as bait!

Keep him between us and don't let him see you're scared!

Bobby, this way!

I can't! I can't!

He's gonna lead Bobby to the guests! Crumb, don't let him get outside!

I got it!

Hal: Bobby, no! Bobby!

I think I've had an accident.

All in.

Let's do this.

Tom?

Hall

It's all gone wrong.

- I should go and see what's happened. - It's them.

You've got to do something about them.

Hal and Tom. They'll ruin everything.

We'll never have the chaos we need while they're around.

I think we should try a different approach.

You can't go back now!

You've unlocked the door, you've made your choice.

You're damned already, boy. Soaked in blood, you just don't know it.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Mr. Rook, I do apologize. Please forgive me.

It's just maybe our only chance.

We haven't finished our game.

What did you have?

Ah, the Trinity. Very good.

Hard to beat.

But not impossible.

Do you think Tom will be okay?

If he had the wherewithal to protect me,

we'll just have to hope he can look after Bobby.

See? Totally normal.

Crumb: Isn't this nice? You do make a handsome couple.

Dude, seriously, shut up, all right?

If a human fancies another human, then they send a flirty text.

So is using and humiliating someone else a supernatural thing?

'Cause I'm still getting to grips with it all!

Look, you've got completely the wrong idea about our relationship.

I'm frightened and humiliated and it's making me thirsty.

I need to go home now!

Yeah, it was a burst pipe, fused the circuits.

Until it's mended, the whole of west block is out of commission,

so move any guests to east block.

No, no, no, don't let anyone enter west block, do you understand?

Okay, um, look, there's something I need to, er...

I'll be back in 20 minutes.

The bloodlust will spike occasionally, it's perfectly normal.

Especially at times of stress. Such as a werewolf attack.

I'll strap you in the chair overnight, you'll be absolutely fine...

It's true then? You and Alex?

It doesn't matter what we feel, the situation...

Look, Ian, it's been a long night. We'll talk tomorrow.

Lead on, macduff.

Bobby!

Where are we?

Have they looked us up again?

It's all right, mate, we're at the hotel.

- Did we kill anyone? - No, but it was close.

Look, I'm sorry, I should have made sure you were safely locked up at home.

You... you got here in the end.

Yeah, but I shouldn't have had to.

And it's not just that.

Erm, I might have exaggerated a bit about some of the things that I've done.

Like, I weren't engaged to Vanessa-Mae,

and I ain't got a commonwealth medal in the discus.

I just said it to impress you, like.

I thought as much. You didn't need to, though.

I thought you was brilliant as soon as I met you.

Really?

Yeah. You had me at hotel and leisure management.

Oh.

Thanks, Bobby.

Ah. Thought I heard voices. Should I come back in a minute?

Get off me, Bobby. Inside, always keep it inside.

It's a fresh start. I'm gonna go to night school,

I'm gonna get some o-levels.

I'm gonna do a first aid course, I'm gonna learn a new language...

Tom said I can stay here with youse permanently.

Oh, and this was decided when, exactly?

Erm, I just thought it would be a nice surprise.

Certainly is that. Erm, do me a favor and let me know when you're telling hal.

There is no way I'm missing that.

Speaking of hal, actually, should he not be back by now?

Oh, he must have got held up at home.

I'll go and check. We need some new clothes, anyway.

Cool, I'll come with you.

Right. Bobby, you're in charge, mate, yeah? It's still early,

so just man the phones and let kitchen take care of breakfast. Yeah?

Thanks.

I can do this.

Oil rin tin tin.

What kind of useless werewolf are you? You can't even...

I'm sorry, sir, I can't hear you.

Come closer.

Crumb: Wakey, wakey, lord hal.

It's not like you need the beauty sleep, is it?

Not nice, is it?

Waking up in here, not sure whether you've been bummed or not.

What do you want?

I want you to feel helpless and alone.

All this time you've been trying to turn me into you.

Well, I want you to see what my world is like.

I haven't been trying to turn you into anything.

I just wanted to remind you of the life you had, the life you can have again.

Yeah, a life I had, until you turned me into a vampire, like you!

Crumb, Ian, you need to let me out.

That was a laugh, but then back you came and said I had to be all clean and tidy,

- like you! - Listen to me. I'm not feeling...

Crumb! He's coming! Let me out!

I'll never be like you! I'll never look like you!

I'll never have the things you had! I'll never have Alex!

You think I will?

You think I could ever allow myself to love someone ever again?

I'm irredeemable!

I killed and destroyed everyone I ever cared about.

Crumb, let me out! Let...

What are you do... hal?

Crumb. Your face.

You thought you'd lost your reflection, didn't you?

Well, take a good look, boy. This is you. This is us.

We're not cursed, we are the curse.

But you said I could have a life again.

He lied. You might get 10, 20, or even 50 years,

if you're lucky and stupid enough to try.

But it won't last. It'll find you.

It always finds you.

He was here, wasn't he?

Every day he's getting nearer, like a tidal wave.

It's not long now. He's going to destroy everything.

Is that going to be me one day?

It's the waiting I can't stand. The fight between good and bad.

I just want it to stop!

I bet you can relate to that.

So let's force fate's hand.

Let's cut to the last chapter.

Drink the werewolf blood and you save yourself, save everyone else.

Drink the human blood...

And you become that monster again, but good and proper.

Half expected you to hit me, then.

Why fight?

Exactly.

Dealer's choice.

Cheers.

Alex: Hal?

Iechyd da.

What are you two doing down...

Looks like I win.

- What's going on? - Hal, were you gonna drink that?

I don't know.

I really don't know.

Bobby! Bobby!

He's in here, must be having a nap.

Thank you for doing this. I'm sorry, I know it must...

My department is closed!

You don't know how many favors I had to call in for this.

And to cover up that mess last night.

I think we're quits on favors.

I don't understand. He was so happy.

He was looking forward to moving in and everything.

He was what?

Which would have been great fun.

It's my fault, it was the shock of last night.

I should've made sure he got home safe.

This doesn't make sense. Something must have happened.

She made me feel things.

Alex: What things?

Tom: Feelings.

Please, you must have leftover stock.

What's wrong with you tonight?

Alex: Every time I think I know who you are, it turns out I'm wrong.

Usually because someone's dead!