1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:04,356 Cath Erin e: The conflict between the werewolves and the vampires 2 00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:06,674 generates such an energy, upon which the devil feasts. 3 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:09,719 I don't need blood anymore. 4 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:14,724 You stay away. You are regret and disgust and nothing more! 5 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,894 You want to talk to the real me? Hello! 6 00:00:17,977 --> 00:00:19,770 Hal: I believe I have some work for you. 7 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:20,980 I'll be right over. 8 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,975 Rook: Bobby. Excellent. 9 00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,603 I see you've started packing. 10 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:02,688 How long will I be there? 11 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:05,316 Not long. A few days. A week at the most. 12 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,860 Then you'll come right back. 13 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,612 This is what you said was happening. 14 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:15,576 "I have to talk to the Chinese from China. 15 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,328 "You know China, don't you, Bobby? 16 00:01:17,954 --> 00:01:22,833 "They're going to give us funding so we can keep the archive open and I... 17 00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:26,128 "I can carry on doing my job." 18 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:28,839 Then I said, "the Chinese eat rice." 19 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:32,468 And you said, "yes, and if we get their funding, 20 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:34,679 "perhaps we'll have to eat rice too. 21 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,807 "We could have sweet and sour chicken chow mein." 22 00:01:37,974 --> 00:01:40,309 And then I said, "I don't like rice." 23 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:44,855 And then you did that thing where you smile 24 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:48,025 but that vein in your head sort of pulses. 25 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:51,195 Yes, that seems a pretty thorough... 26 00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:53,739 - This werewolf... - I believe he's called Tom. 27 00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:58,202 - Is he nice? - We've barely... yes, he's very nice. 28 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,037 I don't want to go. 29 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:03,207 Bobby, they're about to cut the electricity. 30 00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:06,877 It'll be jolly cold and there won't be any lights. 31 00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:12,675 All the same, it'll be jolly creepy. 32 00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:17,513 This isn't a permanent arrangement. I hope I've made that clear. 33 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:21,475 Once I've secured the funding, you'll be brought straight back! 34 00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:23,311 But, plus all my posters are here. 35 00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:27,064 I'm sure Tom wouldn't mind if you took a couple with you. 36 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:31,902 But more importantly, Bobby, the locks are linked to the grid! 37 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:36,240 With the electricity gone, we won't have any way of containing you. 38 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,868 Do you understand what that means? 39 00:02:44,457 --> 00:02:47,752 I'll take Burt Reynolds and worzel gummidge, please. 40 00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:58,095 - Tom: Nah, I'm not doing it. No way. - He can't stay in the archive. 41 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:00,056 I have no staff 42 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,891 and, with the electricity turned off, 43 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,393 no way of containing him during the full moon. 44 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,103 Tell him about the deal. 45 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:09,857 After some unfortunate encounters, we've made a pledge to avoid contact 46 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,108 with other supernaturals. 47 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,401 They're nothing but trouble. 48 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,779 Bobby's no trouble. Are you, Bobby? 49 00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:18,908 Bobby? What is it? 50 00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:23,662 He does this. It's nothing to... 51 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,498 He's thinking. 52 00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:26,749 No, it's me. 53 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,293 He's noticed our friend Alex. She's a ghost. 54 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,879 You hear that, Bobby? They have a ghost. 55 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,215 - Goodness gracious. - Why can't he go somewhere else? 56 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,883 He needs to be billeted with people 57 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:39,970 who have the experience and tools to deal with his condition. 58 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,431 And this household does owe me a favor. 59 00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:44,934 - Alex: For what? - Cleaning up after Ian. 60 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:48,979 Speaking of whom, he has adopted the sobriquet "crumb" 61 00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:50,689 and gone on a killing spree. 62 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,777 He's claimed at least six victims in the last month alone. 63 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,862 - I haven't seen anything in the papers. - No. 64 00:03:56,987 --> 00:04:00,991 I have reason to believe he's formed an alliance with an ex-employee of mine. 65 00:04:01,659 --> 00:04:05,830 Alan. Together they can kill at will and leave no trace. 66 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:09,959 I want you to deal with them, 67 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,753 - however you see fit. - It's not my responsibility. 68 00:04:12,837 --> 00:04:14,213 You made crumb. 69 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:18,426 Besides, you've cost my department a lot of time and resources 70 00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:19,677 over the centuries. 71 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:23,013 This is your chance to give a little something back. 72 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,682 Big society and so forth. 73 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:27,726 And Mr. Mcnairwill look after Bobby until I'm back. 74 00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:28,853 No chance. 75 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,315 It wouldn't be for long. 76 00:04:33,691 --> 00:04:37,153 What about work? He's not coming to work. Look at him! 77 00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:42,074 What's your job? 78 00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,411 Erm, I'm assistant manager in a hotel. 79 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,163 Skill. 80 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:52,877 Is he being sarcastic? Truth be told, I'm never quite sure. 81 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,087 I'll be back before the full moon. 82 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,674 Bobby, do whatever Mr. Mcnair says. I'll show myself out. 83 00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:08,350 So what are we gonna say? 84 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,394 Stop killing people? 85 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,271 Who's there? 86 00:05:12,605 --> 00:05:14,773 Hello, Ian. It's hal. 87 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:18,319 There is no Ian. There is only crumb! 88 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:23,240 Okay, crumb. It's still hal. 89 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,783 And Alex... 90 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:32,041 Why didn't you say so? To what do I owe the pleasure? 91 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,295 We've come to see if you need some help? 92 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,047 Do I look like I need help? 93 00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,591 Crumb: Alan, we've got company! 94 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,426 Alan: Not more pizza? 95 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,971 No, no, I think they've ran out of delivery boys. 96 00:05:48,224 --> 00:05:50,226 Alan, this is hal 97 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:53,270 and Alex. And this is Hazel. 98 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,607 Alan: Hal. I've read your file. Huge fan. 99 00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,944 That's Alex? "Alex" Alex? 100 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,612 Huh? 101 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,030 Jings. 102 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,950 You know, they say death 103 00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:09,286 is a natural aphrodisiac. 104 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:15,751 Crumb... Ian. This has to stop. 105 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,962 We don't want it to stop. 106 00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,589 We've got blood, we've got girls... 107 00:06:20,673 --> 00:06:21,799 Flaming orc. 108 00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:25,970 Look, I understand the thrill of this newfound power, 109 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:29,431 the exhilaration, but I told you, it won't last. 110 00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:33,894 Sooner or later it gives way to guilt, to horror. 111 00:06:33,978 --> 00:06:36,772 We know what to do about that! 112 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:39,441 Hair of the dog! Just start all over again. 113 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,777 Yeah, would you just excuse us for a minute? 114 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,341 They're nuts. I say we stake them both and we get the hell out of here. 115 00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:49,159 No. Rook said I could deal with crumb however I saw fit. 116 00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:52,871 Yes, and we both know that that was posh-boy talk for "kebab him". 117 00:06:52,997 --> 00:06:56,667 There has been enough death and violence. 118 00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:58,794 This is where it ends. 119 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:05,509 We can help him, and his friend. For once, we can do some good. 120 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:10,681 Crumb: Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's right! 121 00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:15,603 I want to help you. 122 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:18,397 You had your chance when I came asking, remember? 123 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:19,815 You didn't give a shit then. 124 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:24,361 That was wrong of me. But I want to make up for it now. 125 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,366 With our help, you can leave all this behind, both of you. 126 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:32,536 You can have careers, friends, even... 127 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,204 Even lovers. 128 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,414 What, like you? 129 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:39,918 Yes. I have a full and rewarding life. 130 00:07:46,759 --> 00:07:48,552 - All right, then. - What? 131 00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:50,346 We're in. 132 00:07:58,062 --> 00:08:00,689 - When's Mr. Rook coming back? - I don't know. 133 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,110 - What you doing? - What's it look like? 134 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:08,447 I'm not allowed to iron. 135 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:12,409 Last time I ironed something my legs got burned pretty badly. 136 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:15,412 How did... never mind. 137 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,918 - Can I take my shoes off? - No. 138 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,756 - Can I sit under the table? - No. 139 00:08:29,093 --> 00:08:32,388 Have you got an answering machine? Specifically the bell-tone 500. 140 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,765 How should... no, we haven't! 141 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:38,727 The bell-tone 500 was one of the last answering machines 142 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:41,939 to use the little cassettes. 143 00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:44,608 Brilliant, that. Honestly. 144 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,320 - When's Mr. Rook coming back? - I don't know, mate. 145 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:49,822 Hal: Hello! 146 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,745 - What are they doing here? - Alex: I told him. 147 00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:58,664 Whoa. 148 00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:00,290 Who's he? 149 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,293 A werewolf from the archive. What are you doing here? 150 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,755 I live here now. Mr. Tom's looking after me. 151 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,133 Bobby is another temporary guest. 152 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,378 What do you mean, "another"? 153 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,721 Crumb and his friend Alan are gonna be staying with us 154 00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:15,305 while we help them get off the blood. 155 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,142 Nice to see you again, housemate. 156 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,144 Hal: Tom! 157 00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:30,821 By bringing them into our pact, we're making it bigger, stronger. 158 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,323 Helping them will help us. 159 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,495 - I don't trust them. - Good. Don't. They're junkies. 160 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,748 But with the right sort of help they can change. 161 00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:43,167 If I can be redeemed, surely they can too. 162 00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:46,503 Fine, okay. But I'm not cleaning up any poo. 163 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:48,672 You can count me out. I'm going to work. 164 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:52,009 Tom, as you may remember, the early stages of blood withdrawal 165 00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:54,845 can be quite frenetic. 166 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:58,807 I don't think it's a good idea for Bobby to be around that. 167 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,813 Well, he's not going to the hotel. No way! 168 00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:07,858 Dude, why are you being such a dick? This isn't like you. 169 00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,527 I'm not! Just... look at him. 170 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,155 He's smelly and hairy 171 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,699 and he asks loads of stupid questions all the time. 172 00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:19,745 Oh, my god. You're a snob. 173 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,042 That's tot... shut up, man. 174 00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:26,335 No, he's right! 175 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,855 You've got a house and you've got a job and you've become a snob. 176 00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,881 - Big snob. - Ha! I don't believe it. 177 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,550 Nah, you don't know what you're ta... 178 00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,428 Right, come on, then, Bobby, we're leaving! 179 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,389 Tom, before you go, 180 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,351 can I have some of your blood? 181 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,774 It's like battersea bleeding dogs home in here. 182 00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,359 Right, sit here. 183 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:52,921 Don't touch anything, don't talk to any guests 184 00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:54,025 and don't bother any staff. 185 00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:56,073 As you can see, we're rushed off our feet. 186 00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:59,034 - It's huge. - Here we go. What is? 187 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,662 - Can I sit in a smaller room? - No, you cannot. 188 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:02,913 This is a luxury dining suite 189 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:05,541 suitable for intimate dinners for two or family celebrations. 190 00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:06,917 Appreciate it, okay? 191 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,545 Yeah? Thank you. 192 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:36,154 Hal: Because Alex can't be trusted, this will be your home by night. 193 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,825 You will experience nightmares, 194 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,328 delusions, cramps, guilt. 195 00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:44,788 You'll wish you were dead, 196 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,920 but when you make it through to the other side, 197 00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:48,792 you'll Cherish life even more. 198 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,503 For the day, I have prepared a rigorous program 199 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,338 of housework, exercises, 200 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:58,343 routine tasks, designed to suppress your cravings and control your appetites. 201 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,189 Contact with even the smallest drop of blood 202 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:03,807 could resurrect my more monstrous side, 203 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:07,144 so Alex has kindly agreed to assist us. 204 00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:08,437 Should have worn my leotard. 205 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,160 - Yeah, you should have. - That'd be nice. 206 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:14,484 The one on the left... is the human blood you brought with you. 207 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:18,947 The one on the right, kindly donated by Tom, is werewolf blood. 208 00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:24,620 One will dissolve your organs from the inside out, 209 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:27,664 the other will rot your soul, until there's nothing of you left. 210 00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:36,006 Both will kill you. 211 00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:40,010 One just more quickly than the other. 212 00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:48,685 If, at any point in this process, you feel you can no longer resist, 213 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,854 then these glasses will be here for you. 214 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,065 All you have to do is ask. 215 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,859 But if you take one, you must be prepared to die. 216 00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,238 One way or the other. Any questions? 217 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,077 Why are you still here? 218 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:09,706 - What do you mean? - He attacked me, recruited me, 219 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,083 took me prisoner. 220 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,918 You were shocked, you were so hurt. 221 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,505 But you're still here, still friends. 222 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,094 Because he's fighting it. 223 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,515 Every day, he's trying to be something better. 224 00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:29,184 And, I don't know, I guess I admire that. 225 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,852 I respect it. 226 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,141 So how long was you in that place? 227 00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:10,892 Thirty-three years. 228 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:16,440 Have you got an answering machine here? A bell-tone 500? 229 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:17,607 I doubt it. 230 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,111 So what happened, Bobby? 231 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:26,158 I went fishing. I caught a condom this big. 232 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:29,578 That's when it run past. 233 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,999 Cut my back and pushed me in the water. 234 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:35,625 I was 12. 235 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,754 I know that because it was my birthday a month later, 236 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,174 and the whole of my family come round for a barbecue. 237 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,969 A month later. Oh, mate. 238 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:50,640 Mr. Rook always says it was quick 239 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,143 and they wouldn't have felt any pain. 240 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:55,812 It weren't your fault. 241 00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:01,526 Mr. Rook always says that I'm a savage and deadly predator, 242 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:04,821 that society should be protected from. 243 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,116 He must be right, he drives a Lexus. 244 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,994 Whatever. You're out now. 245 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:15,999 It's a chance to do things different, a chance to make something of yourself. 246 00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:18,460 Right, come on. We'll start tomorrow. 247 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,545 I'm gonna introduce you to the exciting world 248 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,506 of hotel and leisure management. 249 00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:28,178 Hazel: Hello, you. 250 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:29,679 What's wrong? 251 00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:32,182 Can't you see her? 252 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:36,353 It's... thingy. 253 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:37,687 Hazel. 254 00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,064 Hazel. 255 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:43,193 The girl we killed in the flat last night! 256 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:45,570 There's nothing there. It's just the lack of blood. 257 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,531 Now shut up, I'm trying to concentrate. 258 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,039 What are you doing? 259 00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,892 In the archive, they taught us how to get loose 260 00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,252 in case we ever got captured by one of your lot. 261 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,753 Our lot. 262 00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:03,588 Nearly there. 263 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,924 No, I'm all right, don't worry about me. 264 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:09,028 Don't tell me you're doing this for real? 265 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,224 I made a promise to Alex. And hal. 266 00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:16,393 So? What's that got to do with... 267 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,854 Oh, my god. 268 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:21,481 You fancy Alex! 269 00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:23,441 That's why you're doing this! 270 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,527 Oh man, that's funny. 271 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:31,241 Really, if I wasn't already dead, I would die laughing. 272 00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,368 I'm not listening to you! 273 00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:40,417 You really think someone like Alex would go for someone like you? 274 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:45,088 Never mind me, that's the delusion. 275 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:48,049 Besides, she's totally shagging hal. 276 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,135 She's not! They're just friends! 277 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,846 Please. There's hal, 278 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,765 body of a Greek god. 279 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,895 Then there's you, body of a Greek waiter. 280 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,570 Get off! Leave me alone! 281 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:11,990 Girls like us never go for guys like you. 282 00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:18,330 Forget what your mum said, it's not about personality, 283 00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:22,876 it's not about letting us see the special boy inside. 284 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:26,463 I mean, you became a vampire, 285 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:29,049 and you still had to kill me to get me. 286 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,427 I said, shut up! 287 00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,857 Totally uncalled for. 288 00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,120 Bobby: Hello, the Bobby grand, Barry speaking. 289 00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:01,790 No, you did it again. It's the Barry grand, and you're Bobby. 290 00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:05,001 - Sorry. The Barry grand and I'm Bobby. - Yeah. 291 00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,686 - The Barry grand and I'm Bobby. - Yeah. 292 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,505 Sometimes I like to throw in the old, 293 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:09,857 "what's the weather like where you are?" 294 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:12,676 Just to get them nice and relaxed before you tell them the price. 295 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:15,929 No, icouldn't. This is all moving too fast for me. 296 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:19,516 No, it's not, you can do it! I did it, so you can too. 297 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:20,684 But you're brilliant. 298 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,354 I think "brilliant" is a bit... 299 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,668 I don't know, like, it's your decision, mate. You know... 300 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:31,569 Yeah, you are. You own a hotel, you wear a tie. 301 00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:37,242 I wore a tie for Christmas 2006 and I burned me legs pretty badly. 302 00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,036 How did... never mind. 303 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,248 Shall we do it again, then? 304 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,711 - Morning, patients! - Alex: Where's Alan? 305 00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:51,006 He got out in the night, he tried to make me drink blood. 306 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,733 You're supposed to be here to stop killing! 307 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:56,386 I know, that's what I want, but he didn't! 308 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:01,057 He was my only friend, and I put a stake through his heart 309 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,600 because I want to be clean. 310 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:06,062 Look, I didn't touch the blood! 311 00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:09,441 I could've tested it and drank it and driven the nightmares out, 312 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,401 but I didn't because I want your help. 313 00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,695 Please, don't give up on me yet! 314 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:17,615 Let's get started. 315 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,242 Come on! 316 00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:22,078 Feel that burn! 317 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:31,087 We have... er... raspberry. 318 00:19:32,047 --> 00:19:33,965 Some... vanilla? 319 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,259 Some vanilla... 320 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:51,066 Now what you do is... you just have to circle it round the once, basically. 321 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,818 - Circle it? - On the ground! On the ground! 322 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:01,451 Alex! 323 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,585 Hello, the Barry grand. Bobby speaking. 324 00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:11,920 Whoa, Bobby. 325 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,359 You'll need that when you get to the yeoman's market... 326 00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:53,878 And relax. 327 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,048 - What did you see? - My niece. 328 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,009 I used to take her to Blackpool. 329 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:03,513 She was desperate to go on this old rollercoaster called the mousetrap, 330 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:05,758 so I'd stand her on my foot so she'd look tall enough. 331 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:10,061 It was brilliant. She screamed so loud. 332 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:17,235 It was the same scream she made when I killed her mum. 333 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,362 Only that was horrible. 334 00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,901 It was even worse when I made her stop. 335 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,708 - I need some blood. - No. 336 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,544 It's good, you need to feel it. 337 00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,563 Because the next time you want to kill, that's what you remember. 338 00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:40,925 You hold onto that memory, and you stop. 339 00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,554 Do you understand? You stop. 340 00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:48,558 What did you think of? 341 00:21:48,683 --> 00:21:51,603 - This isn't about me. - I need to know... 342 00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:56,024 You can be clean with things like that in your head. 343 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,443 Please! 344 00:22:03,406 --> 00:22:04,407 Sylvie. 345 00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:07,911 I don't know why. 346 00:22:09,287 --> 00:22:12,081 That was over two hundred years ago. 347 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,877 What was she like? 348 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,128 Breathtaking. 349 00:22:17,712 --> 00:22:19,088 Curious. 350 00:22:20,048 --> 00:22:23,134 Mischievous, opinionated. Infuriating. 351 00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:27,388 Delicate one minute, foulmouthed the next. 352 00:22:29,724 --> 00:22:32,644 My love for her was a physical ache... 353 00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:38,441 In the pit of my belly that I never wanted to be free from. 354 00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:41,819 Did she know what you were? 355 00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:46,241 But she thought she could save me. 356 00:22:47,617 --> 00:22:50,119 She thought her love, her friendship, 357 00:22:50,954 --> 00:22:54,457 her body, would keep me strong and clean. 358 00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:56,459 What happened? 359 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,588 I always have a rough idea of when I am about to... 360 00:23:04,259 --> 00:23:05,468 Revert. 361 00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:11,641 But this time... He came from nowhere. 362 00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:16,771 I was out riding when suddenly I decided to turn my horse round, 363 00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:20,483 ride back to the house and kill everyone inside it. 364 00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:25,488 As if I was deciding to change into a warmer coat. 365 00:23:28,825 --> 00:23:33,997 I worked my way up from the kitchens and found her sitting on our bed. 366 00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:40,503 She didn't look frightened or even surprised. 367 00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:44,007 Just disappointed. 368 00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:47,468 She told me not to blame myself. 369 00:23:47,552 --> 00:23:51,347 She said it was stupid of her to think she could change me. 370 00:23:53,308 --> 00:23:54,684 I agreed. 371 00:23:56,394 --> 00:23:58,563 And then I laughed. 372 00:24:01,357 --> 00:24:02,859 Ah... 373 00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:08,031 So that's why you're with Alex now. You can't kill her. 374 00:24:08,406 --> 00:24:09,699 I'm not with Alex. 375 00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:11,326 Really? 376 00:24:14,078 --> 00:24:17,415 Two decks of cards. Dinosaurs and peppa pig. 377 00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:19,709 But... hal, cover your ears. 378 00:24:20,418 --> 00:24:21,461 Mixed together. 379 00:24:22,879 --> 00:24:25,006 - Knock yourselves out. - Hal: Excuse me. 380 00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:30,928 Everything okay? 381 00:24:32,388 --> 00:24:34,557 It makes you think of all the horrible things 382 00:24:34,682 --> 00:24:36,392 you wish you'd never done in your life. 383 00:24:36,726 --> 00:24:38,686 Yeah, I used to get like that on Sambuca. 384 00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:47,111 Here we are again. 385 00:24:50,448 --> 00:24:52,408 This keeps happening. 386 00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:55,244 I'm not sure about "keeps". 387 00:25:01,376 --> 00:25:03,544 Do you remember when hal first brought me here? 388 00:25:03,628 --> 00:25:06,464 Yeah, probably shouldn't have let you out, in retrospect. 389 00:25:06,589 --> 00:25:10,635 Hmm. But you did. Hmm, what does that tell us? 390 00:25:12,303 --> 00:25:14,722 How long can we keep up this charade? 391 00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:17,100 You'd be surprised. 392 00:25:18,893 --> 00:25:20,103 Alex. 393 00:25:22,230 --> 00:25:25,608 May I treat you to a fish supper? 394 00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:30,738 Hold that thought. 395 00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:42,375 Oh, he just asked me out on a date. At least, I think he did, anyway. 396 00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:45,586 He's asked me out for a fish supper. Is that an English thing? 397 00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:47,130 I don't think that's a good idea. 398 00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,924 Yeah, well, I wasn't actually considering it. 399 00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:52,677 I only told you so we could toss our heads back and laugh smugly. 400 00:25:52,802 --> 00:25:55,847 But, once again, you have ruined my fun. 401 00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:59,934 In fact, I'm not sure it's worth continuing with this at all. 402 00:26:04,939 --> 00:26:06,983 Are we ever truly safe? 403 00:26:08,943 --> 00:26:11,320 Can we ever really properly assimilate? 404 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,990 Of course. Look at you! 405 00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:17,410 I mean, one minute you are knee-deep in virgins, 406 00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:20,329 the next you're having a letter read out on you and yours. 407 00:26:20,413 --> 00:26:21,497 - Please. - No. 408 00:26:21,622 --> 00:26:24,917 What you said to crumb was true, we can have a normal human life. 409 00:26:25,001 --> 00:26:26,794 I mean, isn't that why we're doing this? 410 00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:31,591 Not just for crumb, but for everything. A house, job, a nectar card. 411 00:26:32,175 --> 00:26:36,179 - It's to be human. - Pretending. It's... it's dressing up. 412 00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:37,764 No, it's keeping us safe. 413 00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:40,308 It's stopping you from going on a killing spree, 414 00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:42,852 it's stopping me from going loopy like Mary. 415 00:26:43,019 --> 00:26:46,856 All we're doing is marking time until the inevitable happens. 416 00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:48,357 Kinda like life, then? 417 00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:52,862 Hal, we have got to grab every scrap of normality that we can, 418 00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:58,117 whether that's watching rubbish telly, laughing, going on a crap date. 419 00:27:00,161 --> 00:27:02,371 - Going on a crap date! - No. 420 00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:05,708 - Yeah. - No. You're not serious? 421 00:27:06,209 --> 00:27:09,796 Hey, I once ate 11 tins of alphabetti spaghetti to prove a point. 422 00:27:09,879 --> 00:27:11,380 This... this is nothing. 423 00:27:11,714 --> 00:27:14,383 Ha! Yeah, I'm gonna go out on a date with crumb. 424 00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:19,055 And I'm gonna show you that normality and all those human things are possible. 425 00:27:20,014 --> 00:27:22,141 Don't get me wrong, if he tries anything, 426 00:27:22,225 --> 00:27:23,976 I will drop a piano on his head. 427 00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:28,147 But apart from that, we're gonna have a great time, a great normal time. 428 00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,233 You watch. 429 00:27:39,242 --> 00:27:40,368 Bobby! 430 00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:42,411 Bobby! 431 00:27:43,079 --> 00:27:44,163 Bobby! 432 00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:50,419 A present for you, mate. 433 00:27:58,553 --> 00:28:00,346 It's the bell-tone 500. 434 00:28:00,555 --> 00:28:01,848 Yeah, I got it off the eBay. 435 00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:04,183 Would you plug it in for me? 436 00:28:22,952 --> 00:28:24,537 Woman: Hello, Bobby, love. 437 00:28:24,620 --> 00:28:26,706 Hope you had a good day at school. 438 00:28:26,873 --> 00:28:30,293 There's last night's macaroni cheese for your tea, so pop it in the oven. 439 00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:33,588 My shift finishes at 10:00, so get yourself to bed after shoestring. 440 00:28:33,796 --> 00:28:35,715 Love you, monkey. 441 00:28:35,798 --> 00:28:40,219 Mum finished work late most nights so I'd just let meself in. 442 00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:45,308 So she'd leave me messages because I liked hearing her voice. 443 00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:48,227 They, um... 444 00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:53,065 They let me take the answer phone into the archive, 445 00:28:53,399 --> 00:28:57,653 but it got broken in 1997 and they'd stopped making them by then. 446 00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:02,158 Sol, um... I haven't been able to listen to this. 447 00:29:03,117 --> 00:29:07,788 Well, I'm really pleased you like it. You do like it, don't ya? 448 00:29:08,998 --> 00:29:10,499 Love it. 449 00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:13,419 Rook: Bobby! Bobby! 450 00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:15,796 Bobby, put him down! My god! 451 00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:17,131 Mr. Rook! 452 00:29:17,465 --> 00:29:20,927 I knew this would happen. Mr. Mcnair, I can't apologize enough... 453 00:29:21,010 --> 00:29:22,779 That's all right, he was just hugging me, weren't he? 454 00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:23,846 Are you all right? 455 00:29:23,930 --> 00:29:26,010 Yeah, I'm fine, I just need to sit down for a second. 456 00:29:27,016 --> 00:29:28,351 How did it go with the Chinese? 457 00:29:28,684 --> 00:29:29,769 Not well. 458 00:29:30,144 --> 00:29:32,080 They were more interested in what return they could get 459 00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:33,773 from their investment. 460 00:29:33,856 --> 00:29:36,275 Because keeping the world safe clearly isn't 461 00:29:36,359 --> 00:29:38,986 enough of a fucking return! 462 00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:42,823 Anyway, 463 00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:45,826 I promised I'd be back before the full moon, so here I am. 464 00:29:45,952 --> 00:29:47,119 Now then, I was thinking, 465 00:29:47,203 --> 00:29:50,373 perhaps I can rig up some emergency lighting in the archive. 466 00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:52,959 No, it's all right, because Mr. Tom said 467 00:29:53,042 --> 00:29:55,044 that I can change in the cellar in his house. 468 00:29:55,169 --> 00:29:57,356 Yeah, I usually change there, but I'll just go to the woods. 469 00:29:57,380 --> 00:29:58,523 I've done it hundreds of times. 470 00:29:58,547 --> 00:29:59,983 He's done it hundreds of times. 471 00:30:00,007 --> 00:30:02,301 Yes, but this can't be a permanent arrangement, Bobby. 472 00:30:02,385 --> 00:30:04,887 We agreed it wouldn't be safe, remember? 473 00:30:04,971 --> 00:30:06,973 No, listen, I know you love looking people up, 474 00:30:07,056 --> 00:30:08,808 but I'm looking after Bobby now. 475 00:30:08,891 --> 00:30:12,520 He's not an animal, he's a nice guy. He's got potential. 476 00:30:13,062 --> 00:30:14,502 You could do brilliant things, mate. 477 00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:17,900 No! Bobby, please! 478 00:30:18,401 --> 00:30:20,027 Just keep it inside you, man. 479 00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:26,075 Mr. Tom's gonna teach me mountaineering, swimming. 480 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:30,162 He's one of the country's most sought-after lifeguards. Ain't ya? 481 00:30:30,246 --> 00:30:32,248 - Hello, Mr. Rook. - Crumb. 482 00:30:33,082 --> 00:30:34,875 It's "Ian," actually. 483 00:30:35,876 --> 00:30:40,172 But you're... so hal decided to... 484 00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:42,383 Not kill him. No. 485 00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:45,928 Instead, Ian is working through his issues and making a fresh start. 486 00:30:46,012 --> 00:30:49,765 Oh, yes, I've come a long way from when you made me kill my niece! 487 00:30:49,849 --> 00:30:53,436 As I told you at the time, that was a tragic accident. 488 00:30:53,561 --> 00:30:55,914 I thought seeing his family would have a stabilizing effect. 489 00:30:55,938 --> 00:30:59,108 No, it's fine, it's fine! 490 00:30:59,775 --> 00:31:01,110 That's all behind me. 491 00:31:01,736 --> 00:31:05,865 I have developed coping strategies 492 00:31:05,948 --> 00:31:09,285 and found positive outlets for my energies. 493 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:15,958 In fact, tonight I shall be enjoying a meal with a young lady. 494 00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:22,465 Hal: He means Alex. The ghost. 495 00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:25,760 And Alan? 496 00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:27,636 Irredeemable and remorseless. 497 00:31:28,095 --> 00:31:31,974 He was about to go on a rampage, but thankfully Ian intervened. 498 00:31:33,059 --> 00:31:35,102 Well, that's... 499 00:31:37,313 --> 00:31:39,065 That's wonderful. 500 00:31:39,148 --> 00:31:41,317 I must confess, I... 501 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:45,071 Never imagined that you... 502 00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:50,451 And Bobby would adapt to the world quite so smoothly. 503 00:31:52,078 --> 00:31:54,914 Clearly my work here, 504 00:31:54,997 --> 00:31:58,167 as they say, is done. 505 00:31:58,292 --> 00:32:02,254 You could work here. One of the maids has got impetigo. 506 00:32:02,671 --> 00:32:04,340 You're very kind, 507 00:32:05,674 --> 00:32:11,263 but the ministry for agriculture are looking for a... 508 00:32:11,347 --> 00:32:12,848 Junior researcher. 509 00:32:14,767 --> 00:32:17,353 Isuppose, after running an entire department 510 00:32:17,478 --> 00:32:20,606 with an annual budget of a hundred million pounds, it... 511 00:32:20,689 --> 00:32:24,693 Could be considered a bit of a backwards step... 512 00:32:24,819 --> 00:32:25,861 Needs must. 513 00:32:27,696 --> 00:32:30,866 I shall bid you farewell. 514 00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:38,958 Hatch: I'd know that suit anywhere. 515 00:32:46,006 --> 00:32:49,510 Yes. Vampires they were. 516 00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:56,392 They tied me in chains and incanted spells. 517 00:32:56,892 --> 00:32:58,060 Savages. 518 00:32:58,352 --> 00:33:04,358 I thought I was done for. And then there you were. The boys in gray. 519 00:33:06,152 --> 00:33:08,571 No, I'd be burning in hell if it wasn't for your lot. 520 00:33:09,697 --> 00:33:13,409 You can imagine my shock when I found one of them was working here. 521 00:33:13,534 --> 00:33:14,827 And a werewolf, too! 522 00:33:15,870 --> 00:33:18,539 I wanted to get your lot round here with a big net. 523 00:33:18,831 --> 00:33:22,501 - How did you know what they were? - The vampire's careless. 524 00:33:22,585 --> 00:33:26,046 Stands in front of mirrors, then realizes and runs away. 525 00:33:26,881 --> 00:33:30,009 Someone points a camera at him and he nearlyjumps out of the window. 526 00:33:30,092 --> 00:33:31,427 And the wolf? 527 00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:32,887 Well, that was a guess. 528 00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:36,765 He disappears every full moon. Turns up the next morning, looking knackered. 529 00:33:39,518 --> 00:33:43,522 Anyway, here you are. Which one of them are you after? 530 00:33:44,023 --> 00:33:45,232 Neither, I'm afraid. 531 00:33:45,941 --> 00:33:49,528 For one thing, they seem to have rehabilitated. 532 00:33:49,612 --> 00:33:51,280 Oh, you don't believe that. 533 00:33:53,449 --> 00:33:58,621 Doesn't matter what I believe. My department has been dissolved. 534 00:33:59,455 --> 00:34:02,625 No, no. 535 00:34:02,708 --> 00:34:03,959 This won't do at all. 536 00:34:06,295 --> 00:34:08,088 I can only spend £12. 537 00:34:09,131 --> 00:34:12,301 Well, I can't actually eat, so you just knock yourself out. 538 00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:14,220 Oh. Excellent! 539 00:34:15,596 --> 00:34:17,276 Must be nice, knowing you'll never get fat. 540 00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:19,391 I know what you women are like. 541 00:34:19,642 --> 00:34:22,102 Mind you, just as well. No one likes a fat girl. 542 00:34:23,312 --> 00:34:26,232 And believe me, they are not all jolly. 543 00:34:28,067 --> 00:34:29,652 Waiter. 544 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,157 Waiter! 545 00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:39,745 How's it going? 546 00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:42,998 Brilliant? Ian is fascinating. 547 00:34:43,666 --> 00:34:45,501 Already covered loads of topics. 548 00:34:45,584 --> 00:34:47,253 My eleven favorite cheeses. 549 00:34:47,336 --> 00:34:50,839 Yeah, it's a riot. Of normality. 550 00:34:51,632 --> 00:34:54,343 Right. Ready to order? 551 00:34:54,843 --> 00:35:00,099 Question. Does the pommes Anna come with frites? 552 00:35:00,933 --> 00:35:03,978 Gcse French. Exam and oral. 553 00:35:04,311 --> 00:35:05,354 Ooh, la la. 554 00:35:06,188 --> 00:35:08,691 - Actually pommes Anna is a potato dish. - Mmm-hmm. 555 00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:13,362 But let me ask chef. And for madam? 556 00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:15,781 Oh, she's not eating. 557 00:35:15,990 --> 00:35:17,032 Oh? 558 00:35:17,116 --> 00:35:18,158 She's dead. 559 00:35:18,492 --> 00:35:21,537 Yes. No that's, erm, a fair point. 560 00:35:22,830 --> 00:35:25,499 You see, I just... iforget sometimes. 561 00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:28,168 But you know what? I never had lobster. 562 00:35:29,878 --> 00:35:31,463 I think I'd have that. 563 00:35:31,547 --> 00:35:33,882 Not for 28 quid, you wouldn't. 564 00:35:34,008 --> 00:35:37,136 No, of course. It would be a waste, wouldn't it? 565 00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:40,014 Very prudent. Good! 566 00:35:40,723 --> 00:35:42,308 There's a full moon tonight. 567 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,062 How many werewolves are there in this country? 568 00:35:47,396 --> 00:35:52,901 About 35 registered. We estimate the same number again, unknown and at large. 569 00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:58,824 All those monsters, out there right now. It makes your blood run cold. 570 00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:03,078 And with your department gone there'll be nothing to stop them. 571 00:36:03,245 --> 00:36:06,582 It's only a matter of time before one attacks, I don't know, 572 00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:10,669 a party of girl guides out camping. 573 00:36:11,754 --> 00:36:14,423 And then they'll be begging you to return. 574 00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:16,091 I don't doubt it. 575 00:36:16,175 --> 00:36:18,236 It'll be too late, though, for the poor little blighters 576 00:36:18,260 --> 00:36:20,387 with their faces ripped off. 577 00:36:21,263 --> 00:36:24,016 If only the powers that be could get a taste 578 00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:26,769 of the chaos they're about to create. 579 00:36:27,269 --> 00:36:29,605 I've tried something like that already. 580 00:36:33,192 --> 00:36:38,781 Last month I filmed a vampire killing members of his own family. 581 00:36:40,574 --> 00:36:43,452 I thought if the minister could see what they were capable of... 582 00:36:44,203 --> 00:36:45,454 What did he say? 583 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:50,376 "This is within allowable parameters of carnage." 584 00:36:51,794 --> 00:36:53,295 How many does he want? 585 00:36:53,379 --> 00:36:55,631 Well, that's a very interesting question. 586 00:36:55,881 --> 00:36:57,299 How many does he want? 587 00:36:58,634 --> 00:37:00,234 I'm not sure you can put a figure on it. 588 00:37:00,302 --> 00:37:02,388 He clearly thinks you can. 589 00:37:02,471 --> 00:37:04,473 Well, four? Ten? A dozen? 590 00:37:05,766 --> 00:37:09,561 I don't know. A major policy shift? 591 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,899 Ten, minimum. But the point is... 592 00:37:13,982 --> 00:37:16,068 But that's the problem, isn't it? 593 00:37:16,443 --> 00:37:18,904 Yet, you want to keep it to a minimum, of course, 594 00:37:18,987 --> 00:37:21,407 but you can't arrange something like that. 595 00:37:22,491 --> 00:37:25,327 You can't choose how many people they savage. 596 00:37:25,452 --> 00:37:27,287 You can't contain them in that way. 597 00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:33,085 What is it, son? 598 00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:36,255 Nothing, a stupid idea. 599 00:37:36,338 --> 00:37:38,006 Well, I won't tell a soul. 600 00:37:38,507 --> 00:37:41,510 The sanctity of the confessional and all that. 601 00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:48,767 The two werewolves here, one is going to the woods, 602 00:37:49,935 --> 00:37:53,689 the other to his companion's cellar. 603 00:37:53,981 --> 00:37:59,194 Ah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, I see where you're going. 604 00:37:59,361 --> 00:38:01,530 If he was not to make it... 605 00:38:01,864 --> 00:38:04,950 No, no, the guests... 606 00:38:05,033 --> 00:38:07,619 Widows and sales reps. 607 00:38:09,037 --> 00:38:12,666 It's them or the girl guides. 608 00:38:15,878 --> 00:38:19,465 Right, here's the keys. You wanna get going in the next 10, just to be safe. 609 00:38:19,548 --> 00:38:21,133 - Good luck. - Thanks, Tom. 610 00:38:21,216 --> 00:38:22,718 You're all right, mate. 611 00:38:24,178 --> 00:38:27,306 Eurgh! Flat! It tastes like piss. 612 00:38:28,557 --> 00:38:31,059 Oh. I'll get you something else. 613 00:38:31,185 --> 00:38:33,312 We have a wide selection of bottled beers. 614 00:38:33,395 --> 00:38:37,566 Bottled beer? Do I look like a spaniard? Change the barrel. 615 00:38:39,067 --> 00:38:41,403 Oh, unless you've got something better to do. 616 00:38:41,570 --> 00:38:43,739 No, no, it's fine. 617 00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:57,252 Bobby: I can do this. Tom said, 618 00:38:57,377 --> 00:39:01,006 "like a clock, ready to rock. Like a clock, 619 00:39:01,089 --> 00:39:07,346 "ready to rock. Like a clock, ready to rock. Like a clock... 620 00:39:08,430 --> 00:39:09,890 "Ready to rock." 621 00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:13,435 Yes! Hi-five! 622 00:39:19,775 --> 00:39:20,776 Hello? 623 00:39:23,737 --> 00:39:24,780 Bobby: Hello? 624 00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:27,783 Help! Please! Hello? 625 00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:31,036 Hello? The door's shut on me, you've got to let me out! 626 00:39:33,455 --> 00:39:36,625 I've got to be somewhere very important! Please! 627 00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:41,296 Please open the door! Please let me out! Please! 628 00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:46,218 Please, let me out! Please! You've got to let me out of here! 629 00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:49,096 Please! Please! Please! 630 00:39:49,304 --> 00:39:53,225 So, if you want to repel an enemy horde, 631 00:39:53,475 --> 00:39:57,062 or ward off a spell from an evil warlock, what do you do? 632 00:39:57,604 --> 00:40:01,066 Er, phone a friend, I don't know. 633 00:40:01,149 --> 00:40:04,611 You use your amulet! It's like you're not listening! 634 00:40:06,780 --> 00:40:10,909 - Can I get you anything else? - No, we are great. 635 00:40:10,993 --> 00:40:12,828 Tell me more about flaming dork. 636 00:40:12,911 --> 00:40:15,080 - Orc! - Whatever. 637 00:40:15,163 --> 00:40:17,583 Well, just call me if there is. 638 00:40:18,417 --> 00:40:19,501 Right. 639 00:40:26,967 --> 00:40:30,345 - So, what's going on? - What? 640 00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:38,186 Hal's just having a little bit of a crisis of faith. 641 00:40:38,312 --> 00:40:42,107 So... I just want to prove to him that people like us 642 00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:45,694 can still do all the normal stuff we used to, you know? Like... 643 00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:49,615 Go for dinner, talk about... nothing. 644 00:40:49,698 --> 00:40:52,951 Right. No, that makes sense. 645 00:40:53,869 --> 00:40:57,831 See, I thought you were here because you liked me, but, no, it's all right. 646 00:40:58,373 --> 00:41:00,208 It's all just slotted into place. 647 00:41:00,292 --> 00:41:03,378 Wait, erm, I'm not explaining this very well, er... 648 00:41:03,545 --> 00:41:05,297 You gave me a look earlier. 649 00:41:06,214 --> 00:41:09,509 I've not been on many dates, but they both gave me that same look. 650 00:41:10,010 --> 00:41:13,513 Sort of irritation and pity. 651 00:41:14,473 --> 00:41:17,893 I thought, "you're being paranoid, Ian. You're one of the undead now, 652 00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:20,228 "things must be different." 653 00:41:20,312 --> 00:41:21,563 Butno. 654 00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:25,567 Dead Hazel was right, some stuff follows you everywhere. 655 00:41:25,692 --> 00:41:27,736 No, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that... 656 00:41:27,861 --> 00:41:30,739 You don't even see me! You just see him. 657 00:41:31,865 --> 00:41:33,659 You're not the one who's invisible! 658 00:41:40,582 --> 00:41:42,918 What shall we have for dessert? 659 00:41:43,043 --> 00:41:45,587 I think I'll have profiteroles. Why don't you? 660 00:41:46,922 --> 00:41:48,840 Go on. 661 00:41:48,924 --> 00:41:51,718 Have some fucking profiteroles! 662 00:41:55,597 --> 00:41:56,682 Hello? 663 00:41:56,765 --> 00:41:59,577 - What's the weather like where you are? - Bobby? Are you all right, mate? 664 00:41:59,601 --> 00:42:02,354 Well, erm... I managed to change a beer barrel, 665 00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:05,691 but now I'm locked in the barrel room. It's okay, though. 666 00:42:05,774 --> 00:42:07,109 - What? - I mean... 667 00:42:07,234 --> 00:42:09,879 No, Bobby! It's not soundproofed, someone'll hear you, they'll come down! 668 00:42:09,903 --> 00:42:11,113 Argh! 669 00:42:11,238 --> 00:42:12,406 Argh! 670 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:24,019 - It's done. - Relax. It's for the greater good. 671 00:43:28,690 --> 00:43:29,858 Three card brag? 672 00:43:30,692 --> 00:43:33,004 I'll just go and see what's going on. 673 00:43:33,028 --> 00:43:35,030 Anyone got 50 pence for the meter? 674 00:43:39,701 --> 00:43:41,953 - Is that your stomach? - Oh, my god. 675 00:43:43,205 --> 00:43:44,790 Hal: Bobby? 676 00:43:44,873 --> 00:43:45,957 Bobby? 677 00:43:53,215 --> 00:43:56,009 You're not hustling me, are you, captain? 678 00:43:56,718 --> 00:44:00,847 Everyone stay calm. It's just a stray from outside. 679 00:44:03,558 --> 00:44:04,559 Come on, Bobby. 680 00:44:06,019 --> 00:44:07,562 Hal: Everybody out! 681 00:44:15,362 --> 00:44:17,239 Bobby! Bobby! 682 00:44:18,865 --> 00:44:19,908 Hal: Bobby! 683 00:44:20,075 --> 00:44:21,159 Everybody out! 684 00:44:21,243 --> 00:44:23,078 Alex: Not you! 685 00:44:23,245 --> 00:44:24,806 - Crumb: What are you doing? - Bobby! Bobby! 686 00:44:24,830 --> 00:44:27,415 - Alex: Bobby! This way! - No, Bobby, come to me. 687 00:44:27,707 --> 00:44:30,587 He can smell that you're vampires. You can lead him away from the humans, 688 00:44:30,669 --> 00:44:31,729 and get them somewhere safe. 689 00:44:31,753 --> 00:44:33,064 First floor west, there's no one in those rooms. 690 00:44:33,088 --> 00:44:34,923 I'm not staying here as bait! 691 00:44:35,048 --> 00:44:37,259 Keep him between us and don't let him see you're scared! 692 00:44:37,384 --> 00:44:38,927 Bobby, this way! 693 00:44:39,928 --> 00:44:41,096 I can't! I can't! 694 00:44:41,221 --> 00:44:43,982 He's gonna lead Bobby to the guests! Crumb, don't let him get outside! 695 00:44:44,015 --> 00:44:45,600 I got it! 696 00:44:54,734 --> 00:44:56,778 Hal: Bobby, no! Bobby! 697 00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:01,449 I think I've had an accident. 698 00:45:24,139 --> 00:45:25,223 All in. 699 00:45:30,645 --> 00:45:31,646 Let's do this. 700 00:45:35,984 --> 00:45:36,985 Tom? 701 00:45:45,911 --> 00:45:46,953 Hall 702 00:45:58,465 --> 00:45:59,841 It's all gone wrong. 703 00:46:02,636 --> 00:46:04,763 - I should go and see what's happened. - It's them. 704 00:46:04,846 --> 00:46:07,265 You've got to do something about them. 705 00:46:07,682 --> 00:46:10,518 Hal and Tom. They'll ruin everything. 706 00:46:10,977 --> 00:46:13,521 We'll never have the chaos we need while they're around. 707 00:46:13,647 --> 00:46:15,327 I think we should try a different approach. 708 00:46:15,357 --> 00:46:17,025 You can't go back now! 709 00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:21,029 You've unlocked the door, you've made your choice. 710 00:46:21,154 --> 00:46:25,033 You're damned already, boy. Soaked in blood, you just don't know it. 711 00:46:27,369 --> 00:46:30,205 Oh, I'm so sorry. 712 00:46:30,288 --> 00:46:34,042 Mr. Rook, I do apologize. Please forgive me. 713 00:46:35,377 --> 00:46:37,837 It's just maybe our only chance. 714 00:46:39,339 --> 00:46:41,549 We haven't finished our game. 715 00:46:43,176 --> 00:46:44,886 What did you have? 716 00:46:56,356 --> 00:46:59,025 Ah, the Trinity. Very good. 717 00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:00,819 Hard to beat. 718 00:47:01,736 --> 00:47:03,238 But not impossible. 719 00:47:09,995 --> 00:47:12,247 Do you think Tom will be okay? 720 00:47:12,372 --> 00:47:14,332 If he had the wherewithal to protect me, 721 00:47:14,416 --> 00:47:17,585 we'll just have to hope he can look after Bobby. 722 00:47:20,755 --> 00:47:23,425 See? Totally normal. 723 00:47:35,437 --> 00:47:40,025 Crumb: Isn't this nice? You do make a handsome couple. 724 00:47:40,108 --> 00:47:42,027 Dude, seriously, shut up, all right? 725 00:47:42,110 --> 00:47:47,615 If a human fancies another human, then they send a flirty text. 726 00:47:48,116 --> 00:47:53,580 So is using and humiliating someone else a supernatural thing? 727 00:47:54,039 --> 00:47:56,124 'Cause I'm still getting to grips with it all! 728 00:47:56,207 --> 00:47:59,294 Look, you've got completely the wrong idea about our relationship. 729 00:47:59,377 --> 00:48:03,798 I'm frightened and humiliated and it's making me thirsty. 730 00:48:04,466 --> 00:48:06,384 I need to go home now! 731 00:48:07,635 --> 00:48:11,139 Yeah, it was a burst pipe, fused the circuits. 732 00:48:11,973 --> 00:48:15,769 Until it's mended, the whole of west block is out of commission, 733 00:48:16,144 --> 00:48:18,480 so move any guests to east block. 734 00:48:19,898 --> 00:48:23,401 No, no, no, don't let anyone enter west block, do you understand? 735 00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:29,240 Okay, um, look, there's something I need to, er... 736 00:48:29,324 --> 00:48:31,618 I'll be back in 20 minutes. 737 00:48:35,163 --> 00:48:39,334 The bloodlust will spike occasionally, it's perfectly normal. 738 00:48:39,834 --> 00:48:43,797 Especially at times of stress. Such as a werewolf attack. 739 00:48:45,340 --> 00:48:47,980 I'll strap you in the chair overnight, you'll be absolutely fine... 740 00:48:48,009 --> 00:48:51,137 It's true then? You and Alex? 741 00:48:52,639 --> 00:48:56,017 It doesn't matter what we feel, the situation... 742 00:48:57,435 --> 00:49:01,189 Look, Ian, it's been a long night. We'll talk tomorrow. 743 00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:03,858 Lead on, macduff. 744 00:49:34,889 --> 00:49:35,890 Bobby! 745 00:49:37,642 --> 00:49:39,519 Where are we? 746 00:49:42,730 --> 00:49:44,065 Have they looked us up again? 747 00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:45,790 It's all right, mate, we're at the hotel. 748 00:49:47,026 --> 00:49:50,155 - Did we kill anyone? - No, but it was close. 749 00:49:50,238 --> 00:49:54,492 Look, I'm sorry, I should have made sure you were safely locked up at home. 750 00:49:54,576 --> 00:49:57,162 You... you got here in the end. 751 00:49:57,245 --> 00:49:59,164 Yeah, but I shouldn't have had to. 752 00:49:59,247 --> 00:50:00,832 And it's not just that. 753 00:50:00,915 --> 00:50:05,211 Erm, I might have exaggerated a bit about some of the things that I've done. 754 00:50:06,004 --> 00:50:08,923 Like, I weren't engaged to Vanessa-Mae, 755 00:50:09,007 --> 00:50:11,342 and I ain't got a commonwealth medal in the discus. 756 00:50:12,093 --> 00:50:13,928 I just said it to impress you, like. 757 00:50:14,429 --> 00:50:17,724 I thought as much. You didn't need to, though. 758 00:50:18,850 --> 00:50:20,935 I thought you was brilliant as soon as I met you. 759 00:50:21,227 --> 00:50:22,353 Really? 760 00:50:22,437 --> 00:50:25,607 Yeah. You had me at hotel and leisure management. 761 00:50:26,274 --> 00:50:28,026 Oh. 762 00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:30,445 Thanks, Bobby. 763 00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:35,533 Ah. Thought I heard voices. Should I come back in a minute? 764 00:50:35,867 --> 00:50:39,412 Get off me, Bobby. Inside, always keep it inside. 765 00:50:42,123 --> 00:50:44,125 It's a fresh start. I'm gonna go to night school, 766 00:50:44,209 --> 00:50:45,543 I'm gonna get some o-levels. 767 00:50:45,627 --> 00:50:48,880 I'm gonna do a first aid course, I'm gonna learn a new language... 768 00:50:48,963 --> 00:50:51,966 Tom said I can stay here with youse permanently. 769 00:50:52,634 --> 00:50:55,136 Oh, and this was decided when, exactly? 770 00:50:55,303 --> 00:50:57,805 Erm, I just thought it would be a nice surprise. 771 00:50:57,931 --> 00:51:02,393 Certainly is that. Erm, do me a favor and let me know when you're telling hal. 772 00:51:02,644 --> 00:51:05,104 There is no way I'm missing that. 773 00:51:05,396 --> 00:51:08,149 Speaking of hal, actually, should he not be back by now? 774 00:51:08,233 --> 00:51:10,318 Oh, he must have got held up at home. 775 00:51:10,485 --> 00:51:12,570 I'll go and check. We need some new clothes, anyway. 776 00:51:12,654 --> 00:51:14,322 Cool, I'll come with you. 777 00:51:14,614 --> 00:51:17,575 Right. Bobby, you're in charge, mate, yeah? It's still early, 778 00:51:17,659 --> 00:51:20,995 so just man the phones and let kitchen take care of breakfast. Yeah? 779 00:51:21,246 --> 00:51:22,497 Thanks. 780 00:51:27,502 --> 00:51:28,586 I can do this. 781 00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:36,594 Oil rin tin tin. 782 00:51:39,681 --> 00:51:42,934 What kind of useless werewolf are you? You can't even... 783 00:51:43,768 --> 00:51:45,311 I'm sorry, sir, I can't hear you. 784 00:51:45,645 --> 00:51:46,854 Come closer. 785 00:51:56,823 --> 00:51:58,825 Crumb: Wakey, wakey, lord hal. 786 00:51:58,992 --> 00:52:01,452 It's not like you need the beauty sleep, is it? 787 00:52:03,621 --> 00:52:04,872 Not nice, is it? 788 00:52:05,331 --> 00:52:08,209 Waking up in here, not sure whether you've been bummed or not. 789 00:52:08,293 --> 00:52:09,294 What do you want? 790 00:52:09,377 --> 00:52:12,463 I want you to feel helpless and alone. 791 00:52:12,547 --> 00:52:15,216 All this time you've been trying to turn me into you. 792 00:52:15,383 --> 00:52:17,635 Well, I want you to see what my world is like. 793 00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:19,363 I haven't been trying to turn you into anything. 794 00:52:19,387 --> 00:52:22,807 I just wanted to remind you of the life you had, the life you can have again. 795 00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:27,312 Yeah, a life I had, until you turned me into a vampire, like you! 796 00:52:29,856 --> 00:52:31,899 Crumb, Ian, you need to let me out. 797 00:52:31,983 --> 00:52:35,987 That was a laugh, but then back you came and said I had to be all clean and tidy, 798 00:52:36,070 --> 00:52:38,906 - like you! - Listen to me. I'm not feeling... 799 00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:42,744 Crumb! He's coming! Let me out! 800 00:52:43,036 --> 00:52:46,205 I'll never be like you! I'll never look like you! 801 00:52:46,331 --> 00:52:48,916 I'll never have the things you had! I'll never have Alex! 802 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,585 You think I will? 803 00:52:50,710 --> 00:52:53,254 You think I could ever allow myself to love someone ever again? 804 00:52:53,338 --> 00:52:54,505 I'm irredeemable! 805 00:52:54,589 --> 00:52:56,591 I killed and destroyed everyone I ever cared about. 806 00:52:56,716 --> 00:52:58,551 Crumb, let me out! Let... 807 00:53:00,428 --> 00:53:02,930 What are you do... hal? 808 00:53:10,271 --> 00:53:13,691 Crumb. Your face. 809 00:53:14,734 --> 00:53:17,528 You thought you'd lost your reflection, didn't you? 810 00:53:17,612 --> 00:53:23,576 Well, take a good look, boy. This is you. This is us. 811 00:53:24,077 --> 00:53:26,412 We're not cursed, we are the curse. 812 00:53:26,954 --> 00:53:28,956 But you said I could have a life again. 813 00:53:29,374 --> 00:53:34,420 He lied. You might get 10, 20, or even 50 years, 814 00:53:35,129 --> 00:53:37,131 if you're lucky and stupid enough to try. 815 00:53:37,215 --> 00:53:39,884 But it won't last. It'll find you. 816 00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:42,261 It always finds you. 817 00:53:53,314 --> 00:53:54,899 He was here, wasn't he? 818 00:53:57,443 --> 00:54:01,114 Every day he's getting nearer, like a tidal wave. 819 00:54:01,656 --> 00:54:05,493 It's not long now. He's going to destroy everything. 820 00:54:06,494 --> 00:54:08,162 Is that going to be me one day? 821 00:54:10,748 --> 00:54:15,128 It's the waiting I can't stand. The fight between good and bad. 822 00:54:15,336 --> 00:54:17,338 I just want it to stop! 823 00:54:19,465 --> 00:54:21,342 I bet you can relate to that. 824 00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:32,687 So let's force fate's hand. 825 00:54:33,187 --> 00:54:35,314 Let's cut to the last chapter. 826 00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:46,659 Drink the werewolf blood and you save yourself, save everyone else. 827 00:54:47,201 --> 00:54:49,287 Drink the human blood... 828 00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:54,459 And you become that monster again, but good and proper. 829 00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:18,232 Half expected you to hit me, then. 830 00:55:18,649 --> 00:55:19,734 Why fight? 831 00:55:21,486 --> 00:55:22,737 Exactly. 832 00:55:29,410 --> 00:55:30,411 Dealer's choice. 833 00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:48,012 Cheers. 834 00:55:48,095 --> 00:55:49,180 Alex: Hal? 835 00:55:53,768 --> 00:55:54,769 Iechyd da. 836 00:55:55,686 --> 00:55:57,926 What are you two doing down... 837 00:56:04,195 --> 00:56:05,196 Looks like I win. 838 00:56:23,631 --> 00:56:26,801 - What's going on? - Hal, were you gonna drink that? 839 00:56:26,926 --> 00:56:28,135 I don't know. 840 00:56:32,473 --> 00:56:33,808 I really don't know. 841 00:56:35,393 --> 00:56:37,937 Bobby! Bobby! 842 00:56:43,234 --> 00:56:45,069 He's in here, must be having a nap. 843 00:56:58,332 --> 00:57:01,085 Thank you for doing this. I'm sorry, I know it must... 844 00:57:01,168 --> 00:57:02,670 My department is closed! 845 00:57:03,129 --> 00:57:06,173 You don't know how many favors I had to call in for this. 846 00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:08,509 And to cover up that mess last night. 847 00:57:08,634 --> 00:57:10,303 I think we're quits on favors. 848 00:57:15,308 --> 00:57:18,019 I don't understand. He was so happy. 849 00:57:18,853 --> 00:57:21,272 He was looking forward to moving in and everything. 850 00:57:21,355 --> 00:57:22,648 He was what? 851 00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:25,776 Which would have been great fun. 852 00:57:25,860 --> 00:57:28,195 It's my fault, it was the shock of last night. 853 00:57:28,321 --> 00:57:30,197 I should've made sure he got home safe. 854 00:57:40,541 --> 00:57:45,171 This doesn't make sense. Something must have happened. 855 00:58:39,266 --> 00:58:40,768 She made me feel things. 856 00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:42,186 Alex: What things? 857 00:58:42,269 --> 00:58:43,270 Tom: Feelings. 858 00:58:43,396 --> 00:58:45,398 Please, you must have leftover stock. 859 00:58:46,107 --> 00:58:47,307 What's wrong with you tonight? 860 00:58:49,777 --> 00:58:53,280 Alex: Every time I think I know who you are, it turns out I'm wrong. 861 00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:55,241 Usually because someone's dead!