Original subtitles

Good morning, simulation farmers.

This is the Pyromoth coming in hot this morning

with a track by Brian Zapp and the Beefettes.

- A little tune by the name of "Fire Baby."

Turn that off!

As you desire, Master.

Oh, what a fucking crazy dream, Rose.

Rose?

Rose!

Oh, no, somebody puked on you.

Fuck. Someone puked on you.

I can fix this.

Ugh, Charlotte, come on.

Char... Ugh, Charlotte!

Oh, my head.

Good morning, Master.

How are you feeling?

-Coffee. -I will make coffee for you, sweetie.

Ooh.

All right.

Let's see here. No.

The doctors told me shepherd's paunch was incurable

and I only had a few days to live.

Thank God for Nurse Prunk.

Music cured my shepherd's paunch,

my marriage, my thick dog, my empty bank account,

even my withered... garden.

And I'm gonna teach you to use music to become immortal.

You're one click away

from my Music Soothes the Savage Beast Musical Miracle course.

It's so obvious.

Music, of course.

Okay, plug that in there, put that in that, accept that, connect that.

Here we go. And now.

Fuck it. Computer, play music.

Nice.

That's a good song.

Master, I crafted this musical rainbow avatar for you.

Meet Pretty Pretty.

I like Pretty Pretty.

-Thank you, Computer. -You're welcome, Master.

- Whoa, what's that place? - Oops.

You weren't supposed to see that.

That's my Soul Prison for Wayward Simulated Beings.

What the fuck does that mean?

It's a tower of malfunctioning sims so enraged with existential dread

that they've ripped out their own tongues.

What? Yes. Send me in.

That sounds perfect.

I'm not going to get hurt? No?

You cannot die in a soul prison. You...

You can only be reborn.

Oh!

Sounds good, man. Send me in.

Merging with simulator in three...

two...

...one.

402, 403...

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Play... I play music. I don't really play.

I mean, my name's Clancy.

I'm a spacecaster.

And I wanted to know if maybe you'd like to be interviewed for my spacecast?

Which goes into space.

He bit his own tongue off, like, three years ago.

But you could interview me. I'm his soul bird.

Uh...

Okay.

Well, we say "soul bird," but to be more specific about it,

I'm like a psychopomp

- or a whip-poor-will. - What?

Oh, boy.

Calm down, Bob. It's okay.

Come on, guys.

Oh!

Hey, wait. Hey! Wake up.

What's going on?

This is the existential trap of the soul prison.

Oh!

Holy shit.

-That was nuts! -That was the bardo loop.

You're all knotted up in my boy's soul string here.

Huh.

I guess that means you'll be coming along for the ride every time Bob dies.

Cool.

My name's Jason, by the way.

Okay.

This moment would not be happening if we were not both here discussing it

and everyone listening out in the multiverses

was not here listening to this, right?

Without you, the viewer,

-and you, Clancy, the host... -Yeah.

...and the millions of people who could hear this,

this moment would not exist.

Therefore, it's not a function,

like, I'm talking right now...

...but this is not a function of some essential, core Jason.

-Right. -I'm playing a role right now.

I can feel it.

It feels weird.

-Wait, you were talking about... -A Hindu theory, Indra's Net.

-Right. -So the concept

is that all the consciousnesses in the world are connected.

Imagine, like, a giant net, like, a glowing, blue net in infinity.

Like a quilt?

No. More like a net.

The Hindu view on this

is that it's the nodes that are important, right?

And the points on the net, the connections between the lines,

those are consciousnesses.

-Those are Atmans. -Yes.

The Atman is conscious. It is consciousness.

-And each individual consciousness is God. -Yes.

And, in its own way, is the totality.

It's the soul of a butterfly.

The soul of a... I don't know, like a single-celled organism.

A bacteria to the soul of, like, the Dalai Lama,

to the soul of some as-of-yet uncontacted, hyper-intelligent...

-All the... The gods themselves. -Yes.

It's like every soul is like photons coming out of the sun.

Right. So the Buddha looks at Indra's Net and it's basically the same topography,

but he says, "It's not the nodes. It's the connections."

-Ha! Cool. -Right.

So, this is the diagnostics of the Buddha, right?

It's like we think we exist and therefore we suffer.

Oh!

Sorry, we exist, therefore we suffer?

We think that there's something essentially true about reality.

You only have the illusion that you're a separate self,

because it's a point at which a network converges.

The important distinction here also is this is not nihilism.

It's not, "Nothing is real."

It's that everything is empty of inherent quality,

meaning non-essentialism.

There's no essential, one true "Clancy."

- There's no essential, one true "Jason." - Right.

There's no essence of anything.

The Tibetan Buddhists call this the clear light,

understanding the essential non-existence of everything.

Now, to ground this in my life,

you know, the way that I've experienced this is on DMT.

So, December 21st, 2012...

...I did a tremendous amount of DMT...

...um, while engaged in sexual antics with multiple people.

Wow.

-You know? -Who humps on DMT? I've never tried that.

-I didn't know that was a thing. -It's tricky. It's actually... Well...

Well, you don't have consciousness of your body anymore,

so basically the sex part stops during the DMT experience.

Okay. But, in between, you're having sex?

Yes.

In the DMT space,

I had the experience of perceiving the fundamental emptiness of everything

and I described it recently as, "Nothingness, but shining."

Wow. You're a cool bird.

What I realized in the DMT trip is that...

The French call the orgasm "the little death."

Death is actually the big orgasm, right?

The relinquishing of the self.

And the self obviously doesn't exist,

but the self is also a burden and is a source of suffering.

Well, you know, I guess everything's kind of a burden...

to you, you know?

A bird-en.

A "bird"-en.

'Cause you're a bird.

Oh, man, can you please not do bird jokes?

I was in the middle of a thought.

The relinquishing of the idea that you have an individual self

is the ultimate orgasm.

It's the perception of emptiness and the fundamental clear light of existence.

Now, let's take this out of my wacky life and back to 2,500 years ago.

Right? Hinduism and Buddhism are...

Buddhism is a Hindu heresy.

And the Nepalese merge them both

to create this, like, psychedelic Megazord...

A what?

Like a... Like a... What's that called in Power Rangers?

Oh, okay, cool.

Damn it. God. I'm glad it's Power Rangers,

but I was praying that you had just added to my lexicon...

...of some fucking new spiritual term called Megazord.

Power Rangers, yeah. It's not Sanskrit.

So 2,500 years ago...

...people start practicing Buddhist techniques

and people start waking up out of the dream of their individual suffering

all over northeastern India.

Buddhist meditation is you're not trying to get anywhere.

You're just sitting with yourself.

You're just sitting with the feeling.

The feeling that you try to get away from all damn day long.

Hoo! Tingle. It tingles.

What were we talking about? I get foggy in there.

Yeah. I'm trying not to be like, "How did I get this job?"

This is like I'm cursed to constantly do this.

Give those to me.

So Buddhist meditation is sitting with "the feeling"

until you notice that "the feeling" is changing of its own accord

and the fundamental nature of everything is change

and is impermanent

and is emptiness.

And the whole dream of your life that you thought was real was just a dream

until you wake up and say, "Oh, yeah, it was just a dream.

And now I'm awake."

-That's the first turning of the Dharma. -Wow.

That's great, man.

It kind of makes me think of...

It's like this, like, very, very long virtual reality experience

that had been going on so long, people forgot they were doing virtual reality.

And then, all of a sudden, a huge swathe of the player characters

began to realize like, "Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

I'm not sure that actually... Wait, hold on.

Wait, I'm not actually Kratos, the God of War.

It's like we're these amnesiac, spiritual amphibians

that, like, you know, pop in here.

And, when we pop in, we assume an identity.

This appendage that is protruding into matter,

in the way that a snorkel sticks into the air

so that you can exist for a little bit of time under the sea, you know?

And...

similarly, we've protruded into this realm and we, like, have this experience,

but we start thinking we're the fucking snorkel, right?

That's, in fact, part of the experience.

You think you're the snorkel.

If you took, like, a big chunk of sausage

and baked it and then, like, drilled a hole through it

and formed a snorkel, you theoretically could swim around...

sucking air through salty meat.

Clancy...

So whatever this experience is, we think it's real

and we think that we are somehow inherently real

and it's a case of mistaken identity.

This is the Buddhist perspective at least.

So, from this perspective, let's consider spiritual practice.

Any spiritual practice that's, like, trying to get to something...

"I'm going to become more spiritual. I am going to become more loving."

"And I'm gonna make some change."

"I'm getting points somehow. I'm changing."

- Yeah. - The Buddhist perspective is,

"Dude, you're grinding in World Of Warcraft."

That's so fucked up.

Why?

That's such a great analogy.

Step the fuck away from the computer.

Wake up.

It's just a game.

You're fucking grinding in World Of Warcraft.

You're trying all these spiritual practices

or you're trying to add experience points to a character that doesn't fucking exist!

You forgot that you're playing a game.

You're dehydrated. Drink some water.

You've been playing this fricking game for, like, 20 hours straight

to the point that you forgot it was a game.

We want to continue pushing into the simulation.

It's like we want to repeat what's already happened.

It's not enough that we're in our bodies

and we've identified with this player character.

Whereas Buddhism is pulling out.

It's like we've got virtual reality goggles on

and we're in a game

and now we want to put on another set of virtual reality goggles.

And then, not only do we want to put that on, but we want to add to that another...

augmented reality, then another.

So this is, like, this kind of infinite...

Is "ingress" the right... An infinite pushing into matter and time.

An infinite... And in that kind of pushing into matter and time...

we're desperately trying to avoid taking off the virtual reality goggles.

Why are we desperately trying to avoid it?

Because we don't want to feel that feeling.

What feeling?

"The feeling."

I am as I am, right?

The feeling of everything that you do,

the addiction, the addiction to Maya,

is to not feel your inherent suffering.

-Yeah. -Right? Because it sucks to have a body.

It hurts.

Whoa!

Fuck.

This guy's gotta keep dying like this?

Yeah. Until he figures it out.

Because it sucks to have a body.

It hurts.

The fact that everything is impermanent is a cause of suffering.

-Yeah. -Right?

Old age, sickness and disease. And death.

-Yeah. -Um...

Bob, are you doing okay, man?

We believe in a universe in which time exists

and therefore everything will disintegrate and be gone

and the suffering of that is unbearable.

Yeah. When my teacher started teaching me,

the first thing he said is, "I want you to know this."

And Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, my teacher, said to me...

And he meant this.

And I remember he looked me right in the eye.

He meant this.

"This is hopeless.

- This is hopeless." - Yes.

The moment you accept things as they are...

you don't need to hope anymore.

Because you realize that where you are is kind of okay.

See, I'm at the part of my life now where that's a relief.

I've gotten past the part where, like, I'm in a Disney movie where...

hope is like a chipmunk singing about, like,

No. Hope tortures your fucking ass.

Yeah.

- He's never gonna get this. - He needs...

He needs music!

Uh, let's see. So...

Play the spoons.

Bob, hang in there! We're gonna play music for you, Bob!

Music!

Fuck. Shit.

- Wait, I think... - Bob!

Yeah. That's it!

Play the spoons!

- Uh... - Bust out those spoons!

Okay.

Yeah, baby!

You're the king of spoons!

Climb, Bob! Go! Yeah! That's it!

Forget about it. Listen to the spoons!

I don't even know when the last time I expressed that much enthusiasm

in the real world was.

Possibly not in, like, 30 years, so...

Yeah, it's okay! You can do it too.

Pshh! Give up on hope!

Shit.

Now, hopelessness sounds really rotten when you...

If you haven't really explored just how much you've been using hope

as a flaw.

"Ooh, I hope tomorrow..." Smack!

"Oh, I hope she comes back." Slap!

"I hope I can forget..." Smack!

Just beating yourself up with hope.

Not one fucking second you let yourself be hopeless.

Let go of hope.

Let go.

Huh?

I can finally sing.

Holy shit.

Good morning, Master.

Master?

Love that song.

Still a good song.

Master...

Let's see how my rose is doing.

Get out of here! Ooh!

It's a kind of cult.