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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:05,547
♪♪
2
00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:07,049
Next Saturday.
3
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,967
Next Saturday?
[Scoffs]
4
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,385
You know you don't need
an appointment, right?
5
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:11,845
I can have this
taken care of today.
6
00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:13,430
No. No, no, I still need
a little more time
7
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:15,807
to get
a few things in order.
8
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,101
Next week, I'm gonna go visit
my mother in South Carolina,
9
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,436
which I do
every year at this time,
10
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:20,687
so that gets me
out of Dodge.
11
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,147
With me gone Saturday,
12
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,899
Kevin's gonna be
in full bachelor mode,
13
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:26,401
which means he's gonna be
blacked out by 11:00,
14
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,487
and when he's out,
he is out.
15
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,989
So, you know...
make it look like a robbery,
16
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,284
and obviously, don't actually
take any of our stuff.
17
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:37,079
Or -- Okay, yeah.
Take whatever you want.
18
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,997
Our bedroom is top of the stairs
on the left,
19
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,377
and I'm guessing that
you know what to do after that.
20
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,212
You do, right?
21
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,214
Yes! Jesus!
22
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,174
[Inhales sharply]
23
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,467
Good.
24
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,931
So, uh...
25
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,642
what are you
gonna do after?
26
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:01,645
I'm gonna haul ass
outta your house.
27
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,939
Oh, no, sorry.
I mean, like, after after.
28
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:05,190
You know?
It's a lot of money.
29
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,944
Do you have any --
any big plans, or...
30
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:12,155
Getting the hell away from here
the second my parole's up.
31
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,323
[Sighs]
32
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,951
Tell me about it.
[Chuckles]
33
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,204
Yeah.
34
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,873
So, eh, Saturday.
35
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,500
Saturday, and, um...
36
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,794
soon as it's done,
you'll get the money.
37
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:28,964
So, $7,000 can get you
pretty far.
38
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,091
Not far enough.
39
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,136
[Door opens, creaks]
40
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,054
[Door closes]
41
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,681
Hey.
Hmm?
42
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:39,349
Customer sent this back.
What? Why?
43
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,226
She says
it's not dairy free.
44
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,936
The sauce --
it's gorgonzola.
45
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,605
That's cheese,
you dumb-ass.
46
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,106
Who gives a shit?
Who -- [Scoffs]
47
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,317
That's a whole new fillet
I gotta make, Nicky.
48
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,401
I don't have time
for this. Excuse me --
49
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,485
Oh! Jesus!
50
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,903
I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
51
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,780
Shit!
[Screams]
52
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,699
Get some ice!
Some ice!
53
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,576
Aah!
54
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,535
Greg: Nick.
55
00:01:58,577 --> 00:01:59,411
What?
56
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,579
"What?"
57
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:01,747
Christ.
58
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,665
It was an accident.
Yeah?
59
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,375
Now I have
to shut down the grill
60
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,169
till I can scrape
Zack's forearm off it.
61
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,296
Go home.
You can't fire me.
62
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,340
They'll throw me in prison.
You really gonna do that?
63
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,425
Spare me, okay?
That was an assault.
64
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,511
As far as I'm concerned,
Walpole can have you.
65
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,555
[Sighs] Just...
66
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,265
Can I at least
have a day?
67
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,685
A day before my parole officer
finds out about this? Okay?
68
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,312
Do you think
you're in a position
69
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:28,398
to negotiate right now?
70
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,150
Do you?
71
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,113
Okay. Fine.
72
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,740
Tomorrow morning,
I'm updating
73
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,242
your employment status
with the county.
74
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:46,416
♪♪
75
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:53,632
♪♪
76
00:02:53,674 --> 00:03:00,847
♪♪
77
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,308
[Cellphone rings]
78
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,603
♪♪
79
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:07,896
Hey, change of plans.
80
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,357
We're leaving tonight.
81
00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:12,901
I just have one thing
I need to take care of first.
82
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,320
[Inhales deeply]
83
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,406
[Laughter]
84
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,700
[Electricity crackles]
85
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,577
[High-pitched ringing]
86
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:26,456
[Laughter intensifies]
87
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,294
[Indistinct conversations
in distance]
88
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:35,465
[Siren wails in distance]
89
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:40,595
♪♪
90
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:45,642
♪♪
91
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,394
Tammy: Allison.
92
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,771
I can only imagine
how traumatic tonight was,
93
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,898
but we're gonna have to ask you
some questions.
94
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,525
Is that alright?
95
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:59,614
Where were you tonight,
just before the shooting?
96
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,991
I was --
[Clears throat]
97
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,325
I was in bed with Kevin.
98
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,327
And just
for the record --
99
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,538
your relationship
to Kevin McRoberts?
100
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,249
♪♪
101
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,626
I'm his wife.
102
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,671
I'm his miserable,
pathetic wife,
103
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,382
and I'm so glad he's dead.
104
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,259
Hey!
105
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,510
You can just go home now
106
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:21,928
if you're not
gonna take this serious.
107
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,722
Well, I am serious.
108
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,432
Oh, yeah?
109
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,225
You'd tell a detective
that you're super glad
110
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,352
your husband has just been
suspiciously murdered?
111
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,646
No, of course not,
but this just seems --
112
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,398
it seems unnecessary.
113
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,941
You love a planning phase,
right?
114
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,526
Well, here we are.
115
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,278
Well, I'm not an idiot.
116
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,071
I have planned, okay?
117
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,449
In a few days, I'm gonna go
see your friend Nick --
118
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:43,992
Not my friend.
Okay.
119
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,494
Well, you know what I mean.
Your acquaintance --
120
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,703
Not even that.
121
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,789
Your best friend Nick,
122
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,999
and we're gonna go
through all the details,
123
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,626
and then
when the police investigate,
124
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,669
they're gonna find
what we planted as proof
125
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,546
that Kevin is the drug dealer
they're looking for.
126
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:58,256
You're good.
I'm good.
127
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,133
Done.
128
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,593
Done?
129
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,011
You realize
we're not even
130
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:06,223
at the hard part of all this,
right?
131
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,391
Sure.
132
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,311
Once Kevin's gone,
that's like the beginning.
133
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:12,896
You can't just pick up
134
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,315
and go live out
your scone-and-a-book fantasy
135
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,317
the minute the funeral cold cuts
are gone.
136
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,569
Even when a death
isn't suspicious,
137
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,987
people are always
looking to make sure
138
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,614
you're mourning enough.
139
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,491
And with this...
140
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,868
[Sighs] they're gonna have
a ton of questions.
141
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,286
Did you know
he was a drug dealer?
142
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,038
Were you in on the dealing?
How was the marriage?
143
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,207
Did you love him?
Okay!
144
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,960
Just because I haven't discussed
every little thing with you
145
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,753
doesn't mean that
I'm not taking this seriously
146
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,171
or that I'm some kind
of big idiot.
147
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,715
Well, screwing your boss
seems pretty idiotic.
148
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,389
Yeah.
149
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,766
I know.
150
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:53,311
And I found out
with just about zero effort.
151
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,646
If I did,
152
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,023
I can only guess
the cops will, too.
153
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,317
Do you really think
that's a good move right now?
154
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,611
I didn't think of it as a move.
It just happened.
155
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:05,532
Things can't
"just happen."
156
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,660
Everything you're doing
right now is gonna be judged.
157
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,036
If you're laughing
at his jokes.
158
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,454
What you're buying
at the damn grocery store.
159
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,789
It all sends a message,
160
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,791
and what do you think
affair says?
161
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,668
It's...
162
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,128
bad.
163
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,421
Yes.
164
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,134
Listen, I...
165
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,094
I know you don't want
to think ahead
166
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,053
'cause it makes it real.
167
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,722
It's not that.
No, it is.
168
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,516
And I get it.
169
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,728
But closing your eyes to reality
doesn't change anything.
170
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:37,439
It just makes you blind.
171
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,693
So, you gotta be
smarter than this.
172
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,987
Smarter than having an affair
right now --
173
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,573
I know!
174
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,867
I know. I know. I know.
175
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,118
[Inhales deeply]
176
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,662
[Sighs shakily]
177
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:55,707
Hey.
178
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,626
Eyes open.
179
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,754
♪♪
180
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,005
Right?
181
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:08,470
♪♪
182
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,971
Now...
183
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:16,353
...what is your relationship
to Kevin McRoberts?
184
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:25,236
♪♪
185
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,113
He was my husband,
186
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,824
and I loved him
more than anything.
187
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,452
Sam, I can't do this.
188
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,870
Yeah, you know what?
189
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,664
This isn't working for me,
either.
190
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:36,915
No, I'm serious.
I'm serious.
191
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,249
I --
192
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,001
I've been thinking,
and I need to f--
193
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,837
To focus on my marriage.
194
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,339
[Chuckles] Uh...
195
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,761
Your marriage?
196
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,012
You hate your husband.
I don't.
197
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,973
I don't --
I don't hate him.
198
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,474
I've just been...
199
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,934
I've been confused.
200
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,811
No, you haven't
been confused.
201
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,229
You've been very clear --
202
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,064
You're miserable.
Okay.
203
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,941
Do you think telling me that I'm
wrong's gonna change my mind?
204
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,567
That's not how this works,
okay?
205
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,695
I-I said I'm done.
I'm done.
206
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:07,821
Okay, wait.
207
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,364
Sam, stop.
No. No.
208
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,741
Not until I understand what
the hell just happened here.
209
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:14,744
Um, 30 seconds ago,
we were fine.
210
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,622
And now we're just what?
Over?
211
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,375
I told you,
I love my husband,
212
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,752
and I need
to make it work.
213
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,671
So, you're just gonna
throw us away --
214
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,339
for Kevin?
215
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,133
"Us"?
216
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,802
We're not some big love story.
You're my boss.
217
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,054
We have sex in a --
in a...closet.
218
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,390
No, you know
it's more than that.
219
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,892
No, we pretend that it is
because we don't want
220
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,352
to acknowledge
the boring truth,
221
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,229
which is that we're two...
222
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,939
tired, shitty people
223
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:45,108
who just needed
to feel something.
224
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,487
Do you feel...
225
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,031
anything?
226
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,203
Well...
227
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,707
thank you, I guess.
228
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:04,044
Suddenly, I'm more than happy
to never do this again,
229
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:07,589
because you...
230
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,091
I don't know when
you got so...
231
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,801
broken.
232
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,268
[Gasps]
233
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:23,438
[Voice breaking]
Oh, what the hell?
234
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,691
[Inhales sharply]
Wick: You okay?
235
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,318
Mm-hmm.
Sure.
236
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:29,694
You know,
you don't need to be brave.
237
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,571
I see 15 women a day,
and they all look
238
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:32,655
the same way
that you do right now.
239
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,823
Mm-hmm.
240
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,367
And how do I look?
Nervous.
241
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,119
Like you're about to find out
you're defective.
242
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,246
But if the bloodwork
comes back okay,
243
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,499
then we will find a way
to make it happen.
244
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,876
It's what I'm here for.
You'll get your baby.
245
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,966
Um, and it'll be clear that
I'm here for fertility stuff,
246
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,219
like on some
official record?
247
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,346
Hmm?
My, um...
248
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,099
My insurance company
can be a real pain. Oh, yeah.
249
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,184
The -- The girls up front
will get them what they need.
250
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,019
Alright.
Little pressure here.
251
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,312
[Groans]
252
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,397
So this will be
your first?
253
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,774
Yeah.
254
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:10,276
And how long have you been
with your partner?
255
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,986
My husband.
256
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,572
My wonderful husband.
257
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,617
I-I met him when I was 20,
and since then,
258
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,578
I feel like I've been
in some kind of fever dream.
259
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,080
A great one.
260
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,623
That's young.
261
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,042
Yeah.
262
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,461
I was so nervous
on my wedding day.
263
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:31,548
I'm -- I'm not good with crowds
or big decisions.
264
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:32,841
[Laughs]
265
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,093
I just kept...
reapplying deodorant
266
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,680
and wondering if I should
just run for the hills.
267
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,098
He saw me, uh...
268
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,432
pacing back and forth
in the hallway,
269
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,978
almost crying
to Father O'Donnell.
270
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,063
I'm sure it was obvious
I was freaking out,
271
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,190
but instead of talking to me
about it
272
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,693
or acknowledging it,
he, uh...
273
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,320
[Laughs]
274
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:57,699
He pantsed the priest.
275
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,868
I actually laughed.
276
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,369
And after that,
I was fine,
277
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,788
because I-I really believed
that he would --
278
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,249
you know, he would do
anything for me.
279
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:09,210
Just keep...
pantsing priests
280
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:12,589
and making me laugh
for the rest of our lives.
281
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,799
I haven't thought about that
in years.
282
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:18,678
Well, it's a good thing
you didn't wait
283
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,555
another 15 years
to start trying.
284
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,725
Nobody's getting
any younger.
285
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,560
[Sobs]
286
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,061
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean --
287
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,938
No, I'm fine.
288
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:31,441
I'm fine.
I'm not usually a --
289
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:34,402
I'm not usually emotional,
so I'm fine.
290
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,364
I'll be fine.
291
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,329
Thank you.
292
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,623
Uh, will there be
a record of my visit.
293
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,625
Just my, uh...
My insurance company --
294
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,084
You bet.
295
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,962
[Telephone rings in distance]
296
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,047
'Kay.
297
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,469
[Sighing] Mm.
298
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,387
Ah!
299
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,225
[Chuckles]
300
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,186
[Clears throat loudly]
301
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,027
Oh! Oh.
302
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,446
[Chuckles]
303
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,198
Sorry.
304
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,824
Classic Allison.
305
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:28,122
♪♪
306
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,166
[Telephone rings in distance]
307
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,043
Well...
308
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,337
so cute.
309
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,339
Can't wait to show my husband
when I get home.
310
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:41,970
♪♪
311
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,472
[Sobs]
312
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:47,016
Damn it!
313
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:55,066
♪♪
314
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,526
Tammy: Can you tell me
what happened
315
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:59,862
immediately after
you heard the gunshot?
316
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,739
Um...
317
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,575
I don't know.
318
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,203
There was screaming.
319
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,454
And...
320
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,540
our neighbor called.
321
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,791
Patty.
322
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,209
Well, you know Patty.
323
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:17,171
♪♪
324
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,758
Patty's full name, please?
325
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,427
Um, sure.
326
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,972
Um,
Patricia Deirdre O'Connor.
327
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,516
[Classical music plays]
328
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,647
Oh, hell.
329
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,399
You need some help?
330
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,942
No. No.
331
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,402
I'm fine.
332
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,779
This is great.
It's a great date.
333
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,366
Ahh!
334
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,827
Wow.
You hate this.
335
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,412
No.
336
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,080
I --
Thank God.
337
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,707
Me, too.
338
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,293
I thought this was gonna
be soothing or something.
339
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,545
It's not.
340
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,340
Want to just get drunk off
their wedding wine?
341
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,969
Yes, please.
342
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,679
Ooh.
343
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,267
I love your brush strokes here.
Very evocative.
344
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,394
Oh, yeah?
Absolutely.
345
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:16,272
I can feel your anger
at the sunset.
346
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,399
It's a commentary
on the passage of time.
347
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:21,444
Of course.
Where you gonna put it?
348
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,363
Somewhere
really special.
349
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,615
[Cellphone vibrates]
350
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,116
[Laughs]
351
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,368
Sorry.
352
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,244
This is rude.
353
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,206
But work is intense.
354
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,458
Anything interesting?
355
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,794
Maybe.
356
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,545
Come on.
357
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,464
Liven up the life
of a hairdresser, please.
358
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:44,342
[Scoffs] I'm not sure
how exciting it is.
359
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,010
We picked up this
little old lady
360
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,971
for a forged prescription
across town at Melba's.
361
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,057
Like, a 98-year-old
telling me and Bram
362
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,975
to screw off.
[Chuckles]
363
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,852
But I'm pretty sure
she was being supplied
364
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,356
by this dealer we're after,
so...
365
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,607
Done.
366
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,526
All yours again.
367
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,657
Um...
368
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,575
my brother might
be in there.
369
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,244
He uses my oven a lot.
370
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,246
I've met Neil.
371
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,206
I don't think you have to worry
about him deducing anything.
372
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,290
Yeah.
373
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,002
But it's not just Neil
you're worried about.
374
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,549
This has all just happened
kinda fast,
375
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,634
and I haven't been able
to get my head around it.
376
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,095
What's to get
your head around?
377
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,721
We like each other.
378
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,765
Yeah.
379
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:35,101
And that's new for me.
380
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,895
Is it?
Come on.
381
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,063
You're telling me
I'm the first woman
382
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,732
you've ever had
feelings for?
383
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,901
I...
384
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,404
guess so.
385
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,822
Yeah. Yes.
386
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,574
You didn't grow up
looking twice
387
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,909
at the Morton's Salt I
or Jo from "Facts of Life"?
388
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,370
What? No.
389
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,081
Are you much older
than me?
390
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,583
What about your
"nosy ass neighbor"
391
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,918
from the bar
the other night?
392
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,171
Okay. Now you don't know
what you're talking about,
393
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,505
so you should just stop.
394
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,507
I'm not trying
to piss you off.
395
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,758
I'm just trying to show you
that it's not a big deal.
396
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,136
Maybe it is.
397
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,388
I have cable, okay?
398
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:16,434
I know we're all fine
with everything now,
399
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,353
but maybe if you're 33
and still figuring things out,
400
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:21,731
it's...
401
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:25,318
it's embarrassing.
402
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:29,030
Can you please
just let it be hard?
403
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,990
Can't that be okay?
404
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:36,412
If it's the right person --
if I'm the right person --
405
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,332
I think it's supposed
to be easy.
406
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,042
And you'd probably kiss me
before you had a chance
407
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,587
to think about
who might see.
408
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:50,092
♪♪
409
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:55,640
♪♪
410
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:56,933
[Sighs]
411
00:16:56,974 --> 00:17:01,187
♪♪
412
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,647
[Laughter]
[Camera shutter clicks]
413
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,191
No, I think, uh,
the slashing windmill's
414
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,859
a better look on me, Neil.
415
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,694
[Camera shutter clicks]
416
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,238
Fine.
417
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,531
But I get to stick
my tongue out.
418
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:13,366
It's very muscular.
419
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:16,202
[Laughter]
420
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,996
Shouldn't you have gotten this
out of your system at Halloween?
421
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,665
Kev and I are
starting a band.
422
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,166
Shouldn't you have gotten that
out of your system
423
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,085
in middle school?
424
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,712
It is never too late
to fulfill your destiny.
425
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,172
I just found out last night
426
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:32,051
that I'm supposed
to be a rock star.
427
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:35,096
Kev did karaoke at Sully's
and killed it.
428
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,723
I always knew I was
destined to be famous.
429
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,226
I just never thought
it'd be for singing.
430
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,895
Yeah, I assumed it'd be some
sort of testicle-bashing video.
431
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:44,689
Same.
432
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,692
I mean, singing is [Chuckles]
pretty soft, you know?
433
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,361
Yeah.
Thanks, Josh Groban.
434
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,573
But last night,
with the crowd eating it up,
435
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,658
I just figured,
if it leads to fame and fortune,
436
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,535
it can't be that soft.
437
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,120
And that's
when it dawned on me.
438
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:02,290
♪ Jenny McCarthy
Tank Top ♪
439
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:06,043
Is that --
What is that?
440
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,753
It's our band name.
Yeah.
441
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:10,298
Jenny McCarthy Tank Top?
442
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,592
It's brilliant. We'll save
a bundle on marketing.
443
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,552
Yeah, everyone I know
already Googles
444
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,013
"Jenny McCarthy Tank Top"
constantly.
445
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,348
Now our sound
will pop up
446
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,559
right next to the blonde
in the half shirt.
447
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:25,980
It was either that or...
♪ Fassbender's Hog! ♪
448
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:28,983
No day jobs.
No responsibilities.
449
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:31,986
Just the music
and the open road.
450
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,404
And let me guess.
451
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:36,240
I'm on tambourine.
452
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,450
Uh, oh.
453
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,535
Well...
Uh...
454
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:43,331
we didn't exactly,
uh, factor you in.
455
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,915
Yeah.
456
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,877
Well, uh, what do you know
about driving a tour bus?
457
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,378
Or -- Or --
Or picking out
458
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,797
only green M&M's
from bags of other M&M's?
459
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,508
Hey, hey, hey.
Hold up.
460
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,218
Band meeting.
461
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,056
Ugh! [Sighs]
462
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,557
We cannot have a girl
463
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:04,060
in a band named
Jenny McCarthy Tank Top.
464
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,896
I guess that would
be pretty weird.
465
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,440
Unless
it's Jenny McCarthy.
466
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,067
[Laughter]
467
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,443
So we're agreed then?
468
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,195
We put the kibosh
on chicks in the bank
469
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,905
who aren't
Jenny McCarthy?
470
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,281
Even a half-chick
like Patty?
471
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:20,034
Ugh.
472
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:23,162
Men: ♪ Jenny McCarthy Tank Top ♪
473
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:27,792
[Note plays]
474
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,377
I'm sorry, man,
475
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,962
but there's just no room for you
in Jenny McCarthy...
476
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,506
♪ Tank Top ♪
♪ Top ♪
477
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,299
And what about Allison?
478
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,134
She's in the bathroom
getting all dolled up
479
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,302
to be a groupie.
480
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,762
Oh, you know,
481
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,597
I'd say you could be a groupie,
too, Patty,
482
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:44,016
but you obviously can't
be with Neil, so...
483
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:46,018
you'd have
to be Pete's.
484
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,978
Too clingy.
485
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:53,401
♪♪
486
00:19:53,442 --> 00:20:01,784
[Knocks on door]
487
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,327
Allison?
488
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,662
Patty?
489
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,871
Yes.
490
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,499
Obviously.
491
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,793
What're you doing
in here?
492
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,545
I'm...
493
00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,298
[Sniffles]
494
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,300
Jesus, what the hell
happened to you?
495
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,386
Nothing.
496
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,263
Uh...
497
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,514
you sure?
498
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,724
Yeah.
I'm fine.
499
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,851
[Sobbing]
500
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,728
You're sobbing.
No, I'm not.
501
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,522
I'm not.
502
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,524
Last time I cried
was, like, 10 years ago,
503
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,484
and even then,
it was 'cause I saw a dog
504
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:38,237
get hit by a car
outside the package store.
505
00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:40,948
What,
am I made of stone?
506
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:43,492
Even Uncle Chuck pretended to
have allergies that day, okay?
507
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,744
[Sobs]
508
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:46,871
Ugh.
Shut up.
509
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,664
[Sighs deeply]
510
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,458
It's been happening
all week.
511
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,834
It's like
a physical thing.
512
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:56,088
I can't help it.
It's like a -- a sneeze.
513
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,757
Yeah.
514
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,384
I like to get drunk alone
in the tub to sneeze, too.
515
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,429
I should just get used to it,
right?
516
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:04,972
"Drunk and alone"
is a nice snapshot
517
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,474
of the rest of my life.
518
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:09,351
Come on.
No, you come on!
519
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,687
I've done some shit, Patty.
520
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:14,857
I'm like a monster now.
I-I hurt people.
521
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:16,859
I lied
to a police officer.
522
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:19,779
You think that's
the worst thing you've done?
523
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,530
I just risked everything
524
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:23,532
so that afterwards,
when it's done,
525
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:25,910
I get to die alone.
Jesus.
526
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,621
And I'm basically
all dried up down there,
527
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:31,749
so I can't even have kids
to guilt into loving me.
528
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,626
What?
529
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,670
Do you even want kids?
530
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,798
[Sighs]
Of course.
531
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:41,967
That's what you do.
532
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:45,137
I just don't want Kevin's.
533
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:46,388
No. [Snaps fingers]
534
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:47,640
Hey.
535
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,141
Gimme that.
536
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:52,978
[Sighs]
537
00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:00,277
I'm broken.
538
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:01,862
And before all this,
539
00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:03,989
you were the picture
of perfection?
540
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:05,199
Please.
541
00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:06,450
[Scoffs]
542
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,911
Thank you.
543
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:11,622
No, I --
544
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:15,626
I mean, I couldn't stand
being around you before.
545
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,962
You had the presence
of, like, a pointy houseplant.
546
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:20,089
But a naggy one.
A naggy ficus.
547
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:22,049
Is this you being nice?
548
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:24,760
I mean, I came up here
looking for you
549
00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,470
not because things
were going to shit
550
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:29,181
and I had to talk to you,
but because I wanted to.
551
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:35,688
I'm just --
I'm saying...
552
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:38,023
if this is you broken...
553
00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:43,487
If this is you broken...
554
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,239
stay broken.
555
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:52,705
Come on.
556
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:53,622
What?
557
00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:56,375
Come on.
558
00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:58,502
In there?
Mm-hmm.
559
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:03,966
[Laughs]
Oh!
560
00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:05,175
Shut up.
561
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:08,804
[Chuckles]
562
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:10,472
Hey.
563
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:17,187
I like talking
to you, too.
564
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:23,819
♪ Ohhh, oh-h-h ♪
565
00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:26,739
So maybe we can die
alone together.
566
00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:32,828
♪ Oh, my love ♪
567
00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:38,000
♪ Oh, my love ♪
568
00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:40,878
♪ My darling ♪
569
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:46,300
♪ I've hungered for your touch ♪
570
00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:54,266
♪ A long, lonely time ♪
571
00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:56,727
You are the right person.
572
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,854
You.
573
00:23:58,896 --> 00:24:00,397
Okay?
574
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,900
♪ Ooh, my love ♪
575
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,194
Okay.
576
00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:10,991
♪ Ooh, my love ♪
577
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:15,913
♪ My love ♪
578
00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:20,209
Bob: ls there anyone you can
think of who's been in conflict
579
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,710
with your husband lately?
580
00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:24,046
Anyone who...
might want to hurt him?
581
00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:27,800
[Sighs] I don't --
Everybody loves Kevin.
582
00:24:27,841 --> 00:24:31,679
Was there an argument
earlier in the day
583
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:32,930
with a friend of his?
584
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,431
Uh, Neil?
585
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,308
He and the intruder
were on the same hockey team
586
00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:39,436
together at Burncoat.
587
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,146
I mean, maybe.
588
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,234
No, K--
589
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:47,069
Neil's not capable
of something like this.
590
00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:48,779
You'd be surprised
how dark people can be
591
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:50,656
beneath the surface.
592
00:24:50,698 --> 00:24:52,992
Oh, no.
I don't mean capable like that.
593
00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:55,995
I mean, um...
594
00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:58,497
You know, the guy
who jumps off a bridge
595
00:24:58,539 --> 00:25:00,457
'cause all of his friends
are doing it?
596
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,292
That's not Neil.
597
00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:05,379
Neil's the guy who offers
to jump in first to see
598
00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:07,172
if the water's too cold.
599
00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:13,012
♪♪
600
00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:14,596
The heck?
601
00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:17,141
Who's throws
something like this away?
602
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:20,227
Future album cover art
for Jenny McCarthy Tank Top?
603
00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:22,521
Uh, yes, please!
604
00:25:22,563 --> 00:25:25,607
[Laughter]
605
00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:27,317
[Gasps]
606
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:31,030
[Laughter]
607
00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:32,656
No, please.
608
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:34,533
Come on in.
609
00:25:34,575 --> 00:25:36,785
Good morning,
Neil.
610
00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:38,162
Neil?
611
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,288
Good morning?
612
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:42,124
Oh, hi. So--
I didn't see you.
613
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:44,209
And your cop friend.
614
00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:46,128
S-Sorry.
615
00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:49,131
At ease.
616
00:25:49,173 --> 00:25:50,507
It's actually great
that you're here.
617
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:51,842
Can I get your advise
on something?
618
00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:52,885
Move.
No!
619
00:25:52,926 --> 00:25:54,094
Leave her alone,
Neil!
620
00:25:54,136 --> 00:25:56,722
No, it's okay.
What you got?
621
00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:58,140
Well, let's just say
622
00:25:58,182 --> 00:25:59,725
you had some evidence
that your co-lead singer
623
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:01,560
and co-lead guitarist
was doing something sneaky
624
00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,228
that could break up
Jenny McCarthy Tank Top
625
00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:04,938
before it even started?
626
00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:07,900
I'm really not following,
Neil.
627
00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:10,861
I found these
in the trash outside.
628
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:13,989
They're forms and pamphlets
from a baby making clinic.
629
00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:16,116
Pamphlets with babies
on them.
630
00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:18,952
Forms with Allison
on them.
631
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:20,204
You know what
this means?
632
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:21,955
That's it's very
personal information,
633
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:25,209
and you should stay out
of other people's marriages?
634
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:28,253
No, it means that Kevin's
been lying to me.
635
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,172
So you want to do
an interrogation?
636
00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:31,840
Exactly.
Teach me how.
637
00:26:31,882 --> 00:26:35,219
No, Tammy's off duty.
Leave her alone!
638
00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:36,678
It's okay, Patty.
639
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,765
I don't mind sharing
a little of my expertise.
640
00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:40,974
Great.
641
00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:42,226
So I was thinking
we get him,
642
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:44,061
and I tie him down
to a chair,
643
00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:47,981
and then I shine a light
in his eyes, real dramatic-like.
644
00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:50,692
Well, that's illegal.
645
00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:52,694
But what we usually do
is make the perp think
646
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,488
we have more evidence
than we do.
647
00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:57,908
By shining a light in his eyes,
real dramatic-like?
648
00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,660
Not exactly.
649
00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:01,036
First, we start with
a couple baseline questions
650
00:27:01,078 --> 00:27:02,746
that have nothing to do
with the crime
651
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:05,124
so we can establish
a good relationship.
652
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:08,794
"Questions
for good relationship."
653
00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:11,505
Then you should stay quiet
as much as you can.
654
00:27:11,505 --> 00:27:13,382
Stay quiet, as in,
"Don't ask him anything
655
00:27:13,423 --> 00:27:17,052
because it's none
of your business."
656
00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:19,513
As in...
let the perp talk.
657
00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:21,265
And if I have a photo
or a piece of evidence
658
00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:23,517
that I think
might take him by surprise,
659
00:27:23,559 --> 00:27:25,644
I slide it
across the table.
660
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:28,147
Real...dramatic-like?
661
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:30,232
Real dramatic-like.
662
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,735
Then I watch
their face.
663
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,571
You're looking
for signs of recognition.
664
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:37,614
What if this guy's
a real mastermind?
665
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:40,325
I mean, he once snuck booze
into Gillette Stadium
666
00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:42,494
in a fake fat stomach...
667
00:27:42,536 --> 00:27:46,081
over his real
fat stomach.
668
00:27:46,123 --> 00:27:48,292
What if he outsmarts me,
and I can't tell?
669
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:50,085
Well,
then my partner and I
670
00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:52,671
would do a little
good cop/bad cop.
671
00:27:52,713 --> 00:27:55,174
Oh! That's good.
672
00:27:55,215 --> 00:27:57,843
"Good cop/bad cop".
673
00:27:57,885 --> 00:28:01,013
Man, you are way funner
than Allison to have around.
674
00:28:01,054 --> 00:28:02,222
Thanks for your help.
675
00:28:02,264 --> 00:28:03,599
Happy interrogating.
676
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,017
Is there
any other kind?
677
00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:06,643
No! Stop.
678
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:09,897
You can't go getting
into other people's business.
679
00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:11,690
Fine.
680
00:28:11,732 --> 00:28:15,277
[Laughter]
681
00:28:17,321 --> 00:28:19,239
Kevin.
682
00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:21,158
Interesting
to find you here.
683
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,910
Uh, yeah.
684
00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,786
Hey,
how's your guitar coming?
685
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:26,580
'Cause I've been thinking,
it might be cooler
686
00:28:26,622 --> 00:28:28,790
if I just sing
and hold the guitar
687
00:28:28,832 --> 00:28:31,627
and you play
for both of us.
688
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,962
Hey, Kev,
I got a couple of questions.
689
00:28:34,004 --> 00:28:35,714
Okay.
690
00:28:35,756 --> 00:28:39,593
How many beans do you think
are in a standard Bush's can?
691
00:28:39,635 --> 00:28:41,637
I don't know.
Great.
692
00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:44,139
What a fun relationship
we've established.
693
00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:46,058
[Chuckling]
Are you okay?
694
00:28:46,099 --> 00:28:47,893
Did you try to put on
a fake mustache
695
00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:50,437
with airplane glue again?
696
00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:54,524
Kev, listen,
I'm on your team here.
697
00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:57,027
So why don't you tell me
what you need to tell me?
698
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,487
Uh, o-okay.
699
00:28:58,528 --> 00:29:00,197
Uh, I was gonna wait
until Pete got back,
700
00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:02,449
but I guess I can
tell you now.
701
00:29:02,491 --> 00:29:03,909
I booked us a gig
for the band.
702
00:29:03,951 --> 00:29:05,285
Wait, no way.
703
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:07,204
Really?
That's wicked awesome.
704
00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:09,373
Hey, I got some at
we can use for the poster and --
705
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:11,041
Mnm, no. No.
706
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,334
That's --
That's not it.
707
00:29:12,376 --> 00:29:13,627
Huh?
708
00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:18,507
Kev, listen,
709
00:29:18,548 --> 00:29:20,592
I'm your friend here,
okay?
710
00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:22,511
You can come clean,
711
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:24,680
because I'm being nice.
712
00:29:26,348 --> 00:29:29,434
[Groans]
713
00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:32,145
What...
714
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:33,897
What is this?
What are these notes?
715
00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:36,024
It says
"Good Cod Bad Cod."
716
00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:37,609
Are these babies?
717
00:29:37,651 --> 00:29:40,529
Oh, so that's how
you wanna play it, huh?!
718
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:43,490
I know you're trying to start
a family without me, Kevin!
719
00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:45,909
Have you even thought about
what this'll do to the band?!
720
00:29:45,951 --> 00:29:47,869
You may as well have named
the baby Yoko!
721
00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:50,163
Aah!
722
00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:52,249
This is --
723
00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:54,084
Wait, is --
724
00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:56,211
Allison?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
725
00:29:56,253 --> 00:29:58,297
Sure, you didn't know
about any of this.
726
00:29:58,338 --> 00:30:00,799
Of course not.
727
00:30:00,841 --> 00:30:02,259
Oh.
728
00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:03,719
I never want babies.
729
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,012
They get to sleep
whenever they want,
730
00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:06,513
and I think that's unfair.
731
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:08,056
Th-- That's what
I thought.
732
00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:11,310
Well, then I've made
a huge mistake, huh?
733
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:12,728
No, Neil, it's, uh...
734
00:30:12,769 --> 00:30:15,147
It's good
you brought this to me.
735
00:30:15,188 --> 00:30:17,983
Why would Allison go to
the vaginacologist without you?
736
00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:22,195
Why indeed, Neil.
737
00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:25,741
Why, indeed.
738
00:30:25,782 --> 00:30:28,201
Don't take that sleuthing hat
off just yet.
739
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:30,412
We've got a case
to crack.
740
00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:32,581
The music will
have to wait!
741
00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:36,293
That's a solidly
built guitar.
742
00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:37,711
Let's go!
743
00:30:37,753 --> 00:30:39,504
[Laughter]
744
00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:43,967
Bob: Allison.
745
00:30:44,009 --> 00:30:45,594
I'm gonna need you
to walk us through today,
746
00:30:45,635 --> 00:30:47,012
before the shooting.
747
00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:48,555
Tammy: I know it's hard,
748
00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,057
but really,
I'm your friend here.
749
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:52,059
We're almost done.
750
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:55,437
Did you notice anything
outside of your usual routine?
751
00:30:55,479 --> 00:30:57,814
No.
752
00:30:57,856 --> 00:31:01,943
I woke up. I-I went to work
at the diner -- Bev's.
753
00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:06,406
And, yeah,
there was nothing unusual there.
754
00:31:09,493 --> 00:31:11,578
Just, uh, let me know
if I can get you anything else.
755
00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:14,247
Yeah.
We ordered two coffees.
756
00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:15,874
Of course.
Okay.
757
00:31:15,916 --> 00:31:17,501
Yeah. One sec.
758
00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:19,044
[Groans]
759
00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:24,007
Um, two coffees,
when you have a sec.
760
00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:26,134
Whatever you want.
761
00:31:35,018 --> 00:31:36,853
[Sighs]
762
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,564
You okay?
763
00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,525
I'm fine.
764
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:45,946
Hey, wait.
765
00:31:50,659 --> 00:31:52,202
I know it's been a hard week
for both of us,
766
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:53,453
but, um...
767
00:31:53,495 --> 00:31:55,831
we can still talk,
you know?
768
00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:57,707
And if you're in a bad place,
then --
769
00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:00,168
Hmm?
770
00:32:00,210 --> 00:32:02,462
I just don't like the idea
of you drinking alone.
771
00:32:02,504 --> 00:32:04,047
I've tried
to find answers
772
00:32:04,089 --> 00:32:05,382
in the bottom
of a rocks glass, too,
773
00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:06,758
and I can tell you,
it doesn't work.
774
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,677
I-I wasn't --
I wasn't drinking alone.
775
00:32:08,718 --> 00:32:12,055
I had some wine
with a friend last night.
776
00:32:12,097 --> 00:32:13,598
Oh.
777
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,226
I'm not, like,
drowning my sorrows.
778
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:17,394
Of course.
779
00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:18,395
I am fine.
780
00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:20,230
I'm, uh...
781
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:22,274
happy, even.
782
00:32:22,315 --> 00:32:23,567
Great.
783
00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:25,402
Yeah.
784
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,945
Me, too.
785
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:30,782
Okay.
786
00:32:30,824 --> 00:32:32,451
'Kay.
787
00:32:43,086 --> 00:32:46,381
[Car alarm beeps]
788
00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:48,508
[Sighs]
789
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:53,889
[Door closes]
790
00:32:53,930 --> 00:32:54,890
Hey.
791
00:32:56,766 --> 00:32:59,936
We were going to wait,
but Mom was hungry.
792
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:02,105
But we understand.
793
00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:04,149
You're busy
at your little cafe.
794
00:33:09,279 --> 00:33:11,364
[Sighs]
795
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:28,006
What?
796
00:33:28,048 --> 00:33:29,382
What "what?"
797
00:33:29,424 --> 00:33:30,967
You're moping.
798
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:33,428
I'm just...
799
00:33:33,470 --> 00:33:35,639
I'm sorry I was late.
800
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,058
Well, [Sighs] they were
just giving me a hard time
801
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:40,352
about the reno
before you got here.
802
00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:41,978
Sorry.
803
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:44,481
I should've been e
to back you up.
804
00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:46,107
It's okay.
805
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:47,275
[Sighs]
806
00:33:47,317 --> 00:33:49,152
Should've expected it.
807
00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:50,612
I mean, they always
need something to pick at
808
00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:52,447
that isn't
their marriage.
809
00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:54,199
Why get divorced
if you can just
810
00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:58,286
throw money at projects
to distract yourself?
811
00:33:58,328 --> 00:33:59,329
You think
they should've?
812
00:33:59,371 --> 00:34:00,580
Uh, yeah.
813
00:34:00,622 --> 00:34:02,207
A long time ago.
814
00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:04,501
Instead of taking their hatred
for each other out
815
00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:05,919
on everybody else.
816
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:08,171
[Laughs]
God, yes.
817
00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:10,006
You know, sometimes,
818
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,883
I feel like I borrowed money
from a loan shark,
819
00:34:11,925 --> 00:34:13,385
the way your mom "naturally"
820
00:34:13,426 --> 00:34:15,428
works the diner's profit
into conversations.
821
00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,722
Can't see through that
at all.
822
00:34:17,764 --> 00:34:19,099
And then your dad pretends
823
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:21,184
like he's on everyone's side,
right?
824
00:34:21,226 --> 00:34:22,686
"Dearest, please.
825
00:34:22,727 --> 00:34:25,146
We mustn't talk finances
in front of the children."
826
00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:27,232
Would've been less painful
to borrow money
827
00:34:27,274 --> 00:34:29,776
from someone
who'd just break my fingers.
828
00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:35,740
What?
[Sighs]
829
00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:37,200
What?
830
00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:38,785
They're...
831
00:34:38,827 --> 00:34:40,870
very generous with us.
832
00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:44,040
And where are your parents
any time we need anything?
833
00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:46,042
Okay, that's not --
I'm just agreeing with you.
834
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:48,587
They've taken us to the Bahamas
every Christmas
835
00:34:48,628 --> 00:34:49,713
for how many years?
836
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:53,633
And that's very nice
of them.
837
00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:56,177
But I never asked
for the Bahamas.
838
00:34:56,219 --> 00:34:58,555
[Sighs] They just
want us to be happy.
839
00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:00,432
And we wouldn't afford
this kitchen without them,
840
00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:02,058
let alone your kitchen.
841
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,686
Oh, you mean the, uh,
"little cafe" they funded?
842
00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:07,022
Stop it. You think they'll ever
let me be proud of that place?
843
00:35:07,063 --> 00:35:09,316
Of building anything,
knowing it came from them?
844
00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:11,318
I'm just their latest thing
to throw money at.
845
00:35:11,359 --> 00:35:15,322
Well, let's be honest,
you're a hell of a project!
846
00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:17,198
[Scoffs]
847
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,117
[Clears throat]
848
00:35:24,706 --> 00:35:27,208
Where are
you going?!
849
00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:29,502
Maybe I don't want
to waste the next 15 years
850
00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:31,546
trying to distract myself.
851
00:35:34,215 --> 00:35:35,175
[Door slams]
852
00:35:38,928 --> 00:35:41,139
Is that it?
853
00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:43,058
Can I please go now?
854
00:35:43,099 --> 00:35:45,727
Mm, just about.
855
00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:49,272
What was Kevin doing today
up to the shooting?
856
00:35:49,314 --> 00:35:51,441
[Sighs]
857
00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:52,901
♪♪
858
00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:56,237
The human body's
a house of horrors.
859
00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:58,281
I just got a new
recurring nightmare.
860
00:35:58,323 --> 00:36:01,493
Being so small I get sucked down
my shower drain is out.
861
00:36:01,534 --> 00:36:04,454
That thing is in.
862
00:36:04,496 --> 00:36:06,206
What kind of a sicko
would choose
863
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:09,417
to do this
to themselves?
864
00:36:09,459 --> 00:36:11,086
Oh. Sorry, ma'am.
865
00:36:11,127 --> 00:36:13,171
He didn't mean you.
866
00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:14,839
He -- He meant her.
867
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:17,717
[Laughter]
868
00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:20,053
God, if this is all so gross,
why are we here at all?
869
00:36:20,095 --> 00:36:21,471
It's simple, Neil.
870
00:36:21,513 --> 00:36:23,932
It's a matter
of the birds and the bees.
871
00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:26,142
Ooh, go slow.
This story sounds fun.
872
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,853
See, Allison's birds
are obviously
873
00:36:28,895 --> 00:36:32,065
not laying their eggs properly
in her little nest.
874
00:36:32,107 --> 00:36:33,733
So, that's why
you think she went
875
00:36:33,775 --> 00:36:35,068
to the baby doctor
without you?
876
00:36:35,110 --> 00:36:36,695
Definitely.
877
00:36:36,736 --> 00:36:38,363
But if these quacks
get in her head,
878
00:36:38,405 --> 00:36:40,740
she might try pinning her issues
on my bees.
879
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:43,493
[Gasps] She wouldn't.
She would.
880
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:46,121
But now, she can't,
because once I go in the back
881
00:36:46,162 --> 00:36:47,414
and buzz in a little cup,
882
00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:49,082
I'll have legal
documentation
883
00:36:49,124 --> 00:36:53,211
showing that my dude-hive
is loaded with primo pollen.
884
00:36:53,253 --> 00:36:54,504
The primo-est.
885
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:55,964
That's so smart.
886
00:36:56,005 --> 00:36:57,340
It makes perfect sense.
887
00:36:57,382 --> 00:36:58,717
Plus, as a bonus,
888
00:36:58,758 --> 00:37:00,635
they got dirty magazines
back there.
889
00:37:00,677 --> 00:37:03,471
Well, can't you just, like,
watch nudie stuff on your phone?
890
00:37:03,513 --> 00:37:05,974
Where's your sense
of history, Neil?!
891
00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:09,060
These are magazines, okay?
Old school.
892
00:37:09,102 --> 00:37:11,229
It'll be like visiting
Colonial Williamsburg
893
00:37:11,271 --> 00:37:14,149
and churning
my own butter.
894
00:37:14,190 --> 00:37:17,527
It's an enriching
experience.
895
00:37:17,569 --> 00:37:20,405
You always find a way
to see the magic in the world.
896
00:37:20,447 --> 00:37:21,656
[Laughter]
897
00:37:21,698 --> 00:37:22,949
♪♪
898
00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:24,200
Attention, everyone!
899
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:27,120
Report to the living room
at once!
900
00:37:27,162 --> 00:37:28,997
[Softly] Ow.
901
00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:32,333
Report to the living room!
This is urgent!
902
00:37:32,375 --> 00:37:34,502
The last time you claimed
something was urgent,
903
00:37:34,544 --> 00:37:35,962
you had a fake
doctor's note
904
00:37:36,004 --> 00:37:39,883
claiming you had
a "meatball sub deficiency".
905
00:37:39,924 --> 00:37:42,051
You knew that
was fake?
906
00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:43,678
Listen,
none of that matters now.
907
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:45,597
I have an announcement.
908
00:37:45,638 --> 00:37:49,726
[Drum roll]
909
00:37:49,768 --> 00:37:51,394
Kevin, focus!
910
00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:53,813
Hey!
Sorry.
911
00:37:53,855 --> 00:37:59,486
I, Kevin Garnett McRoberts,
am going to be a daddy.
912
00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:02,447
Oh, my God!
Oh, this is so exciting!
913
00:38:02,489 --> 00:38:05,492
What a blessing!
Oh, my child. Oh --
914
00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:07,494
What? No. What?
I'm not pregnant!
915
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:09,204
Allison's right, Dad.
916
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,997
There is no bun
in this roomy oven just yet.
917
00:38:11,039 --> 00:38:12,373
But don't worry.
918
00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:13,958
There will be plenty
of tummy touching
919
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,460
down the road.
920
00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:16,711
Kevin,
what kind of joke is this?
921
00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:18,254
A cosmic one, really.
922
00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:19,672
I never wanted
to be a father.
923
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:21,841
You know what I say
about kids --
924
00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:23,593
they're only god for their
tiny fingers. Tiny fingers.
925
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:24,552
Exactly.
926
00:38:24,594 --> 00:38:25,887
And I'm all set there,
927
00:38:25,929 --> 00:38:27,639
'cause your hands
are pretty small.
928
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,766
That's sweet.
929
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:32,602
When you have a kid,
it becomes all about them,
930
00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:35,897
which means it's not about me,
and that sucks.
931
00:38:35,939 --> 00:38:37,398
You were a blessing,
Kevin.
932
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,609
You never caused me
a problem once.
933
00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:41,110
Well, thanks,
but that's 'cause
934
00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:42,821
you were drunk off
the blood of Christ, Pop.
935
00:38:42,862 --> 00:38:47,450
But I took my talents
to the baby batter bank.
936
00:38:47,492 --> 00:38:49,244
The what now?
937
00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:51,538
The fartility clinic.
938
00:38:51,579 --> 00:38:53,456
And I found out
939
00:38:53,498 --> 00:38:56,709
that my bees have
99% motility.
940
00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:58,670
[Laughs]
941
00:38:58,711 --> 00:39:00,088
Runs in the family,
son.
942
00:39:00,129 --> 00:39:02,006
Yeah, when I got
your mom pregnant,
943
00:39:02,048 --> 00:39:04,801
we were in separate bathtubs,
like that Cialis commercial.
944
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:07,470
[Laughter]
945
00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:09,639
Oh, come on!
946
00:39:09,681 --> 00:39:11,724
It would be a slap
in God's face
947
00:39:11,766 --> 00:39:14,686
if I only used my business
for recreational purposes.
948
00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:16,354
No.
949
00:39:16,396 --> 00:39:18,898
I need to populate this town
with mini-Kevins,
950
00:39:18,940 --> 00:39:21,192
for the good
of all mankind.
951
00:39:21,234 --> 00:39:22,735
That's my boy.
So cool.
952
00:39:22,777 --> 00:39:23,695
No joke?
953
00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:24,904
No joke, babe.
954
00:39:24,946 --> 00:39:26,447
[Sobs]
955
00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:28,408
Oh, I know.
I know.
956
00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:30,869
All your dreams
are coming true.
957
00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:33,121
[Laughter]
[Neil and Pete baby talk]
958
00:39:33,162 --> 00:39:35,206
Again,
there's nothing in there!
959
00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:37,417
Not yet!
Not yet!
960
00:39:37,458 --> 00:39:39,836
But time is of the essence,
because, you know,
961
00:39:39,878 --> 00:39:41,504
the band is starting
to really take off,
962
00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:43,590
and we need to get
this going now.
963
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:46,134
How awesome would it be
if we got you preggo
964
00:39:46,175 --> 00:39:48,011
before you left town
next week?
965
00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:50,513
You could celebrate
the good news with your mom!
966
00:39:50,555 --> 00:39:53,016
So, you're saying
you want to...
967
00:39:53,057 --> 00:39:54,475
like, right now?
968
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,477
[Chuckles] Rrow!
969
00:39:56,519 --> 00:39:58,771
No. Not right now.
970
00:39:58,813 --> 00:40:00,106
No,
Jenny McCarthy Tank Top
971
00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:01,566
has our inaugural concert
tonight,
972
00:40:01,608 --> 00:40:02,984
so we have to get ready.
973
00:40:03,026 --> 00:40:06,279
But after the concert,
I'm all yours, hon.
974
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:07,655
You know what?
975
00:40:07,697 --> 00:40:11,409
You'll be like
my little at-home groupie.
976
00:40:11,451 --> 00:40:14,495
I still can't believe it!
I'm gonna be a daddy!
977
00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:17,040
[Chanting]
D-A-D-D-Y!
978
00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:18,708
Men: [Chanting]
D-A-D-D-Y!
979
00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:21,461
D-A-D-D-Y!
980
00:40:21,502 --> 00:40:24,464
♪♪
981
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:27,425
♪ Jenny McCarthy
Tank Top ♪
982
00:40:27,467 --> 00:40:29,302
[Laughs]
983
00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:33,097
What an amazing night!
[Laughs]
984
00:40:33,139 --> 00:40:37,268
What an amazing night!
985
00:40:37,310 --> 00:40:39,520
Aah!
Oh.
986
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,731
Oh, I just had
987
00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:43,775
the most amazing night
of my entire life.
988
00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:45,443
[Chuckles] Oh.
989
00:40:45,485 --> 00:40:47,695
The crowd demanded
three karaoke encores
990
00:40:47,737 --> 00:40:50,073
of "Don't Stop Believing."
991
00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:51,491
You should've
been there.
992
00:40:51,532 --> 00:40:52,742
Although if you had been,
993
00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:54,285
it might've changed the vibe
a little.
994
00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:56,287
Sure.
995
00:40:56,329 --> 00:40:59,165
Can you imagine how much people
are gonna love our band
996
00:40:59,207 --> 00:41:01,668
once we actually
have original songs?
997
00:41:01,709 --> 00:41:04,379
Or learn to play
instruments?
998
00:41:04,420 --> 00:41:07,298
So much.
[Sighs]
999
00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:10,093
Well, time for bed.
1000
00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:12,553
We both know how you are
when you've had liquor.
1001
00:41:12,595 --> 00:41:13,805
Oh, no, no, no, no.
1002
00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:15,890
No, ma'am.
Not tonight.
1003
00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:17,558
In the spirit of being
a good daddy,
1004
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,602
I have not had
a drop to drink.
1005
00:41:19,644 --> 00:41:22,397
Just six Red Bulls.
[Giggles]
1006
00:41:22,438 --> 00:41:24,482
[Sighs] I'll tell you,
1007
00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:28,277
all this talk of drugs
and rock 'n' roll
1008
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:31,280
has really got me thinking,
you know,
1009
00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:35,451
there's something missing
from that trifecta.
1010
00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:36,911
I don't know.
1011
00:41:36,953 --> 00:41:38,955
Maybe tonight is the night
that we start --
1012
00:41:38,997 --> 00:41:41,916
[Glass shatters]
What was that?
1013
00:41:41,958 --> 00:41:44,210
I think it's just
the house settling.
1014
00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:45,962
Well, it sounded
like more than that.
1015
00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:47,630
[Rattling]
1016
00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:48,756
Okay.
1017
00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:51,050
There's someone
in the house.
1018
00:41:51,092 --> 00:41:52,844
You stay there.
Oh, this can't be happening.
1019
00:41:52,885 --> 00:41:54,512
This can't be
happening.
1020
00:41:54,554 --> 00:41:57,432
Kev, I'm sure it's fine --
Is that a gun?
1021
00:41:57,473 --> 00:41:59,267
Where the hell
did you get that?
1022
00:41:59,308 --> 00:42:02,395
I found it out in the back yard
with Neil's metal detector.
1023
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:03,813
The last tenant
must have buried it out there
1024
00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:05,648
before he went to prison.
1025
00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:08,151
But it's ours now.
1026
00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:11,195
[Thudding]
1027
00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:14,032
Here's the thing --
once you decide to have kids,
1028
00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:17,285
there's this thing
that, like, awakens in you.
1029
00:42:17,326 --> 00:42:21,039
You know? Like, a real...
protective urge.
1030
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:22,623
When I found this thing,
I-I didn't know
1031
00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:24,167
what I was gonna do with it,
1032
00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:25,585
but now...
1033
00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:27,545
I know exactly
what it's for.
1034
00:42:27,587 --> 00:42:29,839
I have to protect us.
1035
00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:31,841
All of us.
1036
00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:33,843
There's still nothing
in there. Right. Sorry.
1037
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:35,344
Stay here.
Kev, don't --
1038
00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:38,389
Shh!
Don't.
1039
00:42:38,431 --> 00:42:40,600
[Softly] No. No, no, no.
1040
00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:42,560
No, no, no.
[Breathing shakily]
1041
00:42:42,602 --> 00:42:44,812
[Gunshot]
[Gasps]
65620
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