Original subtitles

All morn by the Zev Zev

All morn by the Zev I lay

I found her lips pressed to my mouth screen

And welcomed a brand new day

My name is Karfo Mashet

The children of my planet are dying

My people, the Vorm,

have launched me into the unknown vastness of space in order that I might contact intelligent life,

who can help us learn how to fight the devastating Macomarian plague which threatens our entire race with extinction

My body,

frozen in this suspended form,

will drift through the cosmos in desperate search for a cure

Please, kind strangers, help the children of Vorm

Alert, alert,

approaching object detected, organic, possibly intelligent

Revivification sequence activated

Repeat, approaching object detected,

alert, alert, approaching object detected, organic

I felt her legs wrapped round my tubing Squeezing my troubles away

All eve by the Zev Zev

All eve by the Zev I lay

I found her fist inside my neck stump

And pleaded for it to stay

You're dead -

and I'm dying

All week by the Zev Zev

All week by the Zev I lay

I felt her breasts against my eye sockets

Causing my circuits to fray

All year by the Zev Zev

All year by the Zev I lay

I found her smile bathing my being

Oh, it should always be this way

Zev!

I was just thinking of you

Again?

Don't touch me!

It lives. Welcome back to consciousness, abscess on the pimple of life

You know, you're pretty yappy for a, a rusty head, thing, who who -

The simple protein sack cannot even compose a proper insult

Yeah, well this protein sack is captain of the ship

Was that supposed to be a threat? How biological of you

Have you found anything yet? How's it going?

I have found 7,400,963 standard planets orbiting dying stars

Any one of them could turn out to be Brunnis, but it will take over 75,000 years to analyse them all

Well then - the sooner we get started the better

Excuse me - did you hear what the appliance said?

Yes, I heard

We are talking about thousands and thousands of years here

If you think captain Stanley H Tweedle is going to spend the rest of his days wandering around the universe looking for some,

some lifeless rock - you're wrong

Stanley -

Brunnis is the original planet of the Brunnen G

If we can find it we might be able to find a way to bring Kai back to life

Kai - oh, you mean dear departed dead Kai

He's not completely dead

Oh right, I forgot - he's an animated corpse with enough artificial blood to keep him going for ten days

After that, he's dead - as in not coming back to life

He saved our lives

What lives? The ones we're spending lost in the Dark Zone, looking for an abandoned planet?

Forget it! The Lexx doesn't go anywhere until captain Stan puts his magic hand on the template

Thank you for your help

Did you want something Stan?

Well -

yes, ah, yes Zev, I do, er, well, it's like this -

you see, I well -

look Zev, this is ridiculous

I mean, we're the only two people in this whole universe, right?

Except for Kai

All right, the only two living people in this whole universe

and I just think that we need to try and get along better

You want me, don't you Stan?

Oh, yeah, well, I mean, you were transformed into a love slave

The transformation was not completed. They did not get to my mind

But, ah, you did admit that your, you know, your sexual needs were somewhat increased

My sexual needs were not somewhat increased, Stanley Tweedle -

they are now beyond measurement

In fact, they have become almost uncontrollable

I am a white hot volcano of desire

I now have a nearly unquenchable desire for sexual fulfilment

This body needs to be touched, stroked, pleasured

I'm a volcano too

Oh? Then there is only one thing for you to do, Stanley Tweedle

Yes, yes, yes

Go somewhere private, and erupt by yourself

Giggerota dines again!

Your most foolish and unimportant desire to find planet Brunnis is my joy to the infinite power of ecstasy to fulfil

However, galaxy of sweetness and light, I have scanned three systems so far, but have found nothing

I believe it is a futile exercise, your loveliness

You are right

He hem!

He he he hem!

Stan - what are you doing there?

I believe he is attempting to put an end to his pathetic life - but he seems to be taking all day!

Don't try to stop me, Zev

Oh - I wasn't planning to

I'm going to jump, then you'll be all alone

drifting in a spacecraft you can't control, through an empty universe

What do you think about that?

I think you should get on with it

Makes sense to me

Realistically Stan, there is just not much to like about you

You're old, unattractive

Define unattractive

Well, where to begin?

Self-centred. Vain. Weak willed. Treacherous

But if you just give me a chance, one little chance, maybe you'd learn to love me

No

Well -

just one more thing before I go

A dying man's last request

Could I -

could I have a kiss?

Well -

thunder?

Lightning?

Electricity?

Not a spark?

Uh uh

You're in love with the dead guy

He's not completely dead

This is incredible

The last available woman in the entire universe, and she's passing me over for a corpse

don't let go!

I thought you wanted to jump

He does, he does!

Please Zev, please!

You're really heavy Stan - I don't know if I can hold you

Yes you can, you can

No, no you can't!

Oh, don't let me fall

I'm trying Stan, I'm trying. Maybe -

Maybe what?

Maybe if you help me get to Brunnis I might find some strength

Blackmail! Don't do it Tweedle, be a man. Fall, fall!

Well?

Yes, I agree, I agree - we'll go to Brunnis

How about another kiss?

We have a deal Stanley

Let's go get Kai

Hello, sleeping meat

Giggerota the Wicked!

Mmm - fresh meat tastes better than frozen

You - you're a waste of skin

but you

girlfriend

Giggerota will eat first

Dinner is cancelled

She was gonna eat my liver!

Leave her on the first inhabitable planet you find

Where are you going?

I will return to cryostasis. The crisis is over.

Protoblood limits my time out of the cryotube

We want to go to Brunnis

The planet of my ancestors

Why?

Maybe on Brunnis we can find a way for you to live on, out of cryostasis

Why?

I thought you might want that

I was not aware that the Brunnen G unlocked the secrets of life -

and -

I do not want

I want

Well - that'll hold her

Guess we should get back to the bridge, start hunting for Brunnis

What do you mean, hunting?

Useless piece of robot junk in there doesn't know the right co-ordinates

I do

This mark...

symbolises the journey of my people into the Light Universe

I learned the exact co-ordinates of Brunnis in school

You mean we're really going?

Yes

Oh

The energy pulses from these satellites appear to have a stabilising influence upon Brunnis' decaying sun

Welcome home Kai

Not my home.

It is the place of my ancestors

Here we go

Deceleration, er, 50% power

As you request Stan

The man is an idiot!

25%

As you request Stan

The man is a moron!

Do something!

I'm concentrating, I'm concentrating!

We'll impact the planet's surface in 41 seconds

Decrease, er...

15%, ah, 12%

Stan!

Lexx

Stan?

I instruct you to, er

land!

As you request, Stan

Perfect landing

The man is a moron!

It must have been beautiful, once

As a child I studied my ancestral planet

I never thought I'd see it with my own eyes

Looks like we missed the party

They supply power to the stabilisers

Thousands of years ago my ancestors built the stabilisers to prevent their sun from going supernova

Supernova? Excuse me, but if those floating gizmos is all that's keeping this whole system from exploding, I vote that we cut this trip short

They seem to be perfectly functional

Oh yeah? Then where is everybody?

They left when the Brunnis sun could no longer support life on the planet

Is something wrong?

In my studies, I learned the Brunnis sky

That star - I did not learn about that star

What is that?

The memory chamber

Everything they knew was kept in there

That's one big head

Just how exactly do you plan to get us through those doors?

Greetings, travellers, I bid you welcome

Here on Brunnis, within these walls, you will find the combined knowledge of countless generations of -

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!

Dullness! Ethereal, ephemeral, allegorical dullness

The blunted boredom rises from the gorge of her insufferable lips, and floats like the tedious feather

of a long dead bird until it lands, naked with tired memory, next to your fleshy feet

ha!

Oh, but she's gone now. Away, away, like all the others, away, away

Only I, Poet Man, have chosen to stay

Well, OK, if the truth be told, it wasn't exactly a choice

but, be that as it may, I welcome you

travellers to the Memory Catacombs of the Brunnen G!

Who's he?

Poet Man

I take it we're going in?

Of course

Of course

Er - who's Poetman?

A poet, perhaps

Days filled with whispers and murmurs and moans

Nights filled with longings, and leavings alone

You know, it was my fault, after all, I knew we were leaving Brunnis

the sun was dying

But we had this farewell party, and I did a few kaboo flowers and -

well, you know those kaboo, ha ha! Boo!

One too many, and woo! You wake up four days later and the whole planet's empty

And then

like the singing of a sad silent song

You awaken from slumber

and everyone's gone

Let's go

Stay on the Lexx, watch the Lexx, mind the Lexx - huh, if I had a body, I'd -

Metal head!

Leather ass!

Where is the waste of skin?

You refer of course to the recently suicidal Stanley Tweedle

Skinman flies the big bug. Skinman takes Giggerota to new food

I'm afraid that's impossible, oh large and stinking one. Stanley Tweedle is not here

Where is the waste of skin?

I don't know

Metal head will tell Giggerota, or Giggerota will eat canned food

Don't waste your energy attempting to force my co-operation.

I have no sense of self-preservation, and can always be reassembled

Then Metal head takes a trip

What's that?

Nothing

Just the wind

Metal head does not tell Giggerota the truth

Leather ass makes me want to spew

I remember pictures of this place

It is a type of library

Welcome, friends, to the Index Chamber

In this place you may experience for yourself the many wonders of life's rich bounty here on Brunnis

Oh, enough of her. Look, come on in. Pick a door

Maybe we can find something here that will help you

I do not seek help

What do all these symbols mean?

History - the dust that shall be remembered -

Dust!

Who wants to be remembered by their dust?!

Nature - rich bounty of life

Nature! - oh, please

Pound nails in my head, but don't ask me to frolic in the wilderness kissing a duck!

So which one?

That one

The bird is the Brunnen G symbol for life

Life - the sweetest mystery

Mystery - ha! Life is the sweetest misery

How does it work? I'm going to bring you back to life Kai

That's all I've got left here

Zev - that symbol is not just life

I still can't believe they could have forgotten about me

Did not even one person care?

We are talking about a superior understanding of contemplative art,

not that they ever recognised the beauty of the work, but do they, can they realise the value of their loss?

Is this a test? I mean, they did not have the right to leave without me, and they will pay for their loss

That's why I'm talking to you. I am the man. Brunnis is my planet now

Kai!

Zev!

I remember. That symbol - it means burst of life

What's the difference?

I do not know

We should follow her

We? Don't look at me, pal - she likes you

Life - the sweetest mystery

Mystery - ha! Life is the sweetest misery

Hey, wait a sec! What am I supposed to do?

Giggerota, we call you

Giggerota, we seek you -

come, come, come

Giggerota, we want you

Giggerota

Well, well

Giggerota the Wicked

Thinking meat

Welcome, great Giggerota,

Giggerota wants the taste of skin, not meat in bowls

Yes, yes, we understand. You're looking for Stanley Tweedle

Giggerota needs skin waste to fly the big bug

Is that all you want?

Yes

Come now - surely there must be something else you desire besides the big bug machine?

Yes, Giggerota likes - to eat!

Ah! No good! Too salty!

We are all salty

Mouldy!

Giggerota will try another!

Don't eat us, you need us

Giggerota only needs the waste of skin to fly the big bug wherever Giggerota wants

Giggerota -

we are the predecessors of His Divine Shadow

He will not rest until he has us and his ship back

No matter where you take the Lexx, His Shadow will find you

Your tortures will be legendary, and death would be a sweet release. Do you understand?

Yes - Giggerota will try - another!

Wait - does Giggerota really want to eat two thousand year old brains, or would Giggerota prefer this?

Dexter 9, the secret planet of the milk fed boys.

Sweet, tender flesh

Delicious skin

And bone marrow you can suck on for days

Giggerota wants

Giggerota can have, and more

but you must help us first

We possess the memories of the many thousands we killed, including some who lived on Brunnis

We will guide you through its secrets

If you follow our instructions, and rid us of a great problem

we will fulfil your plumpest dreams

What is the matter with you, Tweedle? why don't you follow them? Why don't you just walk into that door and go right on through?

'Cause you're a coward, that's why

Hey there. I've got a question for you

What burns inside?

I'll tell you - loneliness

And realising that this is the way it's always going to be

The empty echoes of the heart

That's one of my lines

oh, the irony of it all

You know what you want

That warm embrace

That effervescent bubbling tingle, that feeling

that thing called -

Love

Lurrve

There's no love here

but through there

lies the great possibility, the unknown, the mysterious

Now...

how badly do you want it?

How far are you willing to go for love

If you're really able to go the distance, say "I want love"

Say it "I want love.

I want love!

I want love

Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah baby! - you gonna get it

Welcome, friend. You have chosen a glorious path

Our experiences become our memories

The remembered events of our lives remain potent,

influencing us far beyond their actual time

We relive them always

It's not that we don't love you Zev, really it isn't

It's just that sometimes children don't turn out the way you expect

That's all

They don't meet the standard

It's nothing personal

They'll look after you just fine in the holo-care home

They're professionals

Love. A dove in the sky

Pretty bird, can you not see me waving?

The sound of the spheres echoes my heart

As I lay me down beside a buxom dart

You wouldn't believe the amount of ass I got with that one

... Female, Female

Yes! A female!

I will live again

A what?!

You are the fertile female I've been waiting for

What do you mean? Your machine must be busted or something, buddy. I'm not fertile, I'm not even female

I'm Stanley Tweedle, I'm all man!

Have I got a surprise for you

Lemmee go!

Right this way, oh fertile object of abandoned desire

And now Zev, repeat after me

Are you comfortable, darling?

Are you comfortable, darling?

Very good Zev

Your reading was ... an 8.3% deviation from standard

At this rate you will be eligible for the wife bank in less than six years

Doesn't that make you happy?

Happy happy matron

Good

These memories are your history,

and as such cannot be changed,

but you have chosen your own future

Here, in this chamber,

your suffering ends,

and your burst of life begins

Zev?

Zev!

Kai -

you're -

Alive!

Alive

And I want you

I'm alive -

You're alive

So alive,

and now I, forever -

Forever -

And ever -

Will love you

Forever -

And ever -

And ever -

Will love you

Kai?

Look,

I don't know what's going on here,

but you're making a big mistake

Now, where were we?

Oh yes -

the act of creation

The procreation of the creative

The creation of a new "creator"

And I have to confess, I was getting worried there for a while

I was afraid I was going to be the last of my line

a catastrophic disaster for the universe, if you ask me

But my voice will not be silenced so easily

The truly creative can always create in unorthodox ways

Now, I'm sorry if it is a little rough on you, but you know something?

I like a little bruising

It adds a certain - hue

After all - you don't pour this kind of creativity down the drain

My line will live again

Kai - what is this?

I believe it is the burst of life

Burst - was the key word there

Life - burst

Bubble - burst

Bladder - burst

See - the meaning is for sale, friend -

and you just bought it

Citizen, you have chosen death -

and through it the gift of eternal life

Being dead will not stop me

What is it, the body?

Just a shell

A shallow, shaky shell

And the soul may not be eternal,

but the seed will always grow

Now my seed has a vessel

You gotta be kidding me

Your death will not be quick

It will be played out to allow your thoughts,

your knowledge, your memory to spill out ...

at a rate that can be properly absorbed,

but you will feel no pain,

embraced as you are in the burst of life

So - you're on the slab,

and you've chosen to be sliced in two

Congratulations

I thought about taking the razor ride but -

they don't deserve my memories in their library of little minds

Kai!

Woman

Softness

Breasts

Touch

I imagine you. I think of you

I possess you

I'm not a woman!

I think you'll agree this calls for a poem

You're nuts!

Floating along the whispering surf, searching for a home

I spy a beach -

thou,

like a fecund dream

And enter your ...

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you

Who is it?

Zev?

Kai?

Guess again, skinman

What are you doing here?

How about a thank you?

Just get me outta here, will ya?

Giggerota and skinman will be a team now, OK?

What?

Giggerota is on skinman's side now

Cross Giggerota's stomachs

Giggerota and skinman will work together

Where are Zev and Kai?

Girlfriend and boyfriend are back on the big bug

Now -

does Giggerota and skinman have a deal?

Eternal life? Not exactly

That's a sales job. It's just blades and bone and blood, friend

You're going to be nothing but data on a disc,

that no-one will ever care about

No!

Kai!

Kai!

Are you sure this is the right way? I don't remember this stuff

Trust Giggerota. Giggerota knows the way

Where are you going?

Skinman stay here

I'll just wait here, then?

OK?

Hello?

Two together

To share the burst of life with another is the greatest gift -

and so it shall be

So - you're on the slab, and you've chosen to be sliced in two

Congratulations

Main power cells are now being diverted to deactivation of stabiliser controls

Notice - you have begun destabilisation procedure

Deactivation of stabiliser control will result in total decay of the Brunnis sun and full supernova

Supernova!

The resulting supernova explosion will consume this planet and the surrounding solar system in exactly 47 minutes and 11 seconds

47 minutes from stabiliser deactivation

What are you doing? You're gonna kill us all!

Not all. Only girlfriend and boyfriend

Giggerota and skinman will fly away on the big bug

You said they were already on the Lexx

Even Giggerota lies sometimes

Giggerota made deal with brains

Power is being returned to all regular systems

Thank you

Stabilisers reactivated

Skinny?

Giggerota's sorry

Giggerota just wanted to be alone with skinman

Really?

Giggerota thinks skinman is soft

Giggerota thinks skinman is beautiful

Leave girlfriend and boyfriend behind

Giggerota and skinman...

make Lexx their very own private love ship

Love ship?

What exactly do you mean by...

love ship?

Giggerota has big appetites...

and not just for food

Giggerota wants to make love forever

Does skinman wanna make love to Giggerota?

I won't leave Zev and Kai

I won't leave my friends

OK

Main power is now being diverted from regular systems to deactivation of stabilisers

Stabilisers reactivated

Power is being returned to all regular systems

Giggerota is tired of skin games

Waste of skin

Giggerota does not need waste of skin to fly big bug

Giggerota just needs waste of skin's hand

Main power is now being diverted from regular systems to deactivation of stabilisers

And it is with great pride that I confer upon you, Krato -

the medal of ultimate honour for defeating the insects at the battle of Wirin

All Brunnen G, all human race are forever in your debt

Days pass quickly now, and our sun continues to die

I fear that one day, Brunnis will do the same, and we will have to leave, go to -

Stanley Tweedle

Stanley Tweedle? Time Prophet, my name is not Stanley Tweedle

My name is, er -

It matters not

By seeing into the future past...

I know that 5000 years after your death...

Stanley Tweedle will visit the Brunnen G memory catacombs

He will touch your memory

Ah, but my question was about the mineral deposits on Aureliun 4 -

Forget about the mineral deposits! This is important

Stanley, you are the only one who can save Kai and Zev

You must go to section 83, row 249, plot 35

There you will find a stone cover

Lift it

But -

Go now!

Section 83

row 249, plot -

30...30...

5!

All right

Deactivation of stabilisers is now entering stage 2

Giggerota -

where is the perfect arrangement of carbon molecules, my beloved Zev?

Girlmeat decided to stay on Brunnis

Girlmeat and boymeat decided to live happily ever after

What have you done with her?

Lexx -

set course radius 4497

inverse axis 027

Leather ass, I insist that you tell me what you have done with the magnificent Zev!

Lexx, set course radius 4497

inverse axis 027

Poor beautiful Zev - something terrible has happened, I calculate it

Bug! Giggerota has the hand. Let's get moving!

Section 83

row 246

...47

...48 ...49

plot 35

Who is it? Who's there?

Zev?

Stan?

Is all right?

Please - just get me out of here

OK

er - how?

Supernova will occur in 24 minutes and 38 seconds

Brains lied! Brains betrayed Giggerota!

No - Giggerota, listen to us

You were supposed to bring back Stanley Tweedle -

not just his hand

The Lexx knows his voice, it only responds to him

Yes, get Stanley Tweedle and bring him here

The stabilisers are almost fully retracted

You must hurry, or we will all be destroyed

Go, go, go!

Giggerota will bring back waste of skin -

but this - this is not over

Stan, come on!

Wait, hold on, I think I can find a way down to you

must be stairs or something

Destabilisation procedure complete. Supernova will commence in 18 minutes and 6 seconds

Stan!

Zev!

Stan!

Help me!

I'm feeling altogether better

Thank you

It was that star

Help me!

Help!

Shut up, flying meat

Lexx

Lexx

Lexx

Lexx

This is Stanley Tweedle

This is Stanley Tweedle

This is Stanley Tweedle

This is Stanley Tweedle

What happened to your hand?

Giggerota took it

Giggerota?

Just before she turned off the stabilisers

Then the sun... will supernova

Lexx, I am your captain

Depart this planet immediately

Lexx, do you hear me?

Depart this planet immediately

This is Stanley Tweedle, Lexx, do you hear me?

Depart this planet immediately

As you instruct, Stan

What? No, you lying thinkmeat

Giggerota will eat you all!

Oh great, that's just great

I knew we should have dumped her in space. She made a deal with the brains

First she turns off the stabilisers and gets rid of us, and now she's stealing the Lexx

A sensible deal, perhaps

What?

I am the last of the Brunnen G

The end of me means the end of the prophecy

I cannot be the one who destroys their order when I no longer exist

That's no deal

Stan, we've got to turn the stabilisers back on, now

Supernova will commence in 11 minutes 6 seconds

All right Stan, you watched her, you know how to do this

All right, all right

Look, I'm not very good under pressure. OK

I was standing here, and I reached out my hand like this, and I - it was this one

Notice -you have selected incorrect access to the stabilisation control system

This is a violation of the Stabiliser Control Act, code 1, subsection 1, paragraph

If your next selection is incorrect, you will be destroyed

She bit my hand off! I'm having a little trouble thinking here, all right?

You have ten heartbeats to make your selection. Please try again

OK Stan, think

OK, OK, er, er, this one

Maybe?

You must be certain

OK, I know, I know which one it was, er

Stan!

it was this one!

Thank you

Stabilisers reactivated

Power is being returned to all regular systems

What?

Stan, you did it

Stabilisation of the Brunnis sun will occur in 12 minutes 15 seconds

Once again, Manly Stanley saves the day

I think not

Supernova will commence in 10 minutes 43 seconds

What's that mean?

It means that the prophecy is false

The last of the Brunnen G will expire while His Shadow still lives

No. There must be something we can do

Can't we make them go up faster?

It's not fair, it's just not fair

There is nothing more we can do

Too late

Look at my face

it's the last one you're ever going to see

Would you care to join me in watching the supernova?

It is a once in a lifetime experience

No!

Come back here, flying meat

Giggerota commands you. Come back!

It's beautiful

Oh universe of heartbreak

Boom!

Lexx, we must leave this system immediately. Why are you disobeying Stanley Tweedle?

I do as you request

Then why are you not leaving this system at once?

I am being controlled by something far more powerful than me

Who are you?

I am Brunnis Sun

I am Blue Star

We are together, Kai, last of the Brunnen G

You know my name?

Yes

We knew long before you were born that you, Kai, would be enslaved by His Shadow,

that you would escape to the Dark Zone, and that you would come to Brunnis

But I was the one who suggested coming here

Yes

that you did, Zev of B3K

Excuse me, but if you know so much, er -

could you tell us our future?

No

We will tell you...

that today is not your day to enjoy death

Today is our day...

to supernova together

We will see you again...

in the next cycle of time...

as we saw you in the last

Well, come on, let's go, you heard 'em

Kai?

I have only a little artificial life left

The planet of my ancestors is as good a place as any

Goodbye Zev

No

You were brought back for a reason

Come with us Kai

Come with me

Lexx - take us out of this system as fast as you can

As you request, Stan

Yes! Yes! Put on a show for Giggerota the Wicked! Put on a show

Thank you

All night of the Zev Zev

All night of the Zev I did dream

That stings

Oh, buck up, whiner

I remind you Tweedle I'm only fixing you because Zev asked me to

There - you're finished

Hey, bolt brain - I've got two left hands!

Looks fine to me

We are going to bring you life, I promise

And if not, the rest of my protoblood will be spent with you

Kai -

It's what I want

I wish Leather ass had bitten off your head

Stan - take us out of here

OK

Lexx - let's see if we can find us a new home

As you wish, Stan