Original subtitles

Is life boring?

Dull?

Grey? Banal?

Everyday?

So small?

Have you simply

seen it all?

Well then, roll up!

Roll up!

Brave souls of...

um... Duggers Lubbin!

Fresh from our, er,

sell-out world tour:

the most stomach-churning, brain-blowing,

eyeball-bursting show on earth!

Are you ready for monsters?

But do you have the guts?

Are you ready for monsters?

Aren't you scared you'll go nuts?

Are you ready for monsters?

That will drive you insane?

That'll turn your legs to jelly

and then explode your brain?

Your ears will pop your hearts will stop

but still they entertain!

Your eyes will melt down to your belt

but sing right through the pain!

Are you ready for Monsteeers?

Then: behold!

Doctor Horatio Dislocation,

the human knot!

Stupid... Leg.

Oh... Ow, that hurts.

Brace your breeches

for Mademoiselle Miranda Cassandra!

She sees your future!

I see...

Heart disease!

Stroke! Kidney failure!

Uhh... Drowning!

Well done!

And now...

Taj and Tej, the Titanium Twins!

They walk over burning

broken glass!

Oh, cruel, cruel nature!

Come closer if you can stand it.

Just sixpence a stare!

But try not to be sick on my shoes.

I'm stuck! My contact lens!

I'm a failure.

I'm broke.

A lifelong career

in the scaring people business ends here.

Why can't I have a hit?

Not scary enough.

People round here are already frightened

of something much scarier.

Scarier?

What could possibly be scarier?

Castle Grotteskew!

No human has ever set foot there.

For none would return alive.

They say there's monsters in there.

Arabella!

Come inside, right now!

Ohh... Nan.

Live...

Live...

Liiiive!

You shall be my greatest creation

ever!

It's not ready.

Just need another moment here.

Initiate the sequence!

I need the tongs...

No... the electrodes!

Professor! You'll overload the system!

And now...

engage...

the Animator!

It's rusted!

Oh. Rusted?

The Animator!

It's going to explode!

Oh! It's going to explode!

It's not fair!

Engage the...

Almost-Life.

Almost-Life.

-We did it! -I did it!

Welcome to Almost-Life!

Registered trademark, patents pending. -Hello.

Ooh! Gosh. Quite high.

Look at that!

Oh. Top Notch!

Cheese!

My greatest crea... Oh.

No, wait...

Oh, I say!

Magnificent!

You...

shall be my greatest creation ever!

"Welcome to Almost-Life.

Registered trade mark, patents pending.

You may be feeling some side effects,

including dizziness,

foggy vision, itching, constipation,

restless legs, uncontrollable spasms

and a tendency to monster rampages.

Avoid swimming, driving or operating heavy machinery."

Huh?

You may want to close your eye.

[relaxing music via loudspeaker]

Welcome to Castle Grotteskew.

Ohh.

Almost-Life in Castle Grotteskew

An introduction

You are a monster.

You want to be monstrous.

It's in your nature.

But monstrousness is dangerous.

Monstrousness makes noise.

Monstrousness attracts attention.

Below the castle is a town.

No monster has ever set foot there,

for none would return alive.

Know what townsfolk hate?

Monsters.

Too much monstrousness,

and the townsfolk will form an angry mob,

storm the castle and burn it to the ground.

Any monstrousness, be it just the smallest howl,

will mean angry mobs,

castle storming and burning to the ground.

You're a monster.

You want to be monstrous?

Don't.

Stay hidden.

Stay quiet.

Stay safe.

Feel like any more monster rampages?

No.

Are you an angry mob?

Are you going to burn me to the ground?

No.

Phew, that was close.

This way.

Wooooowwww.

Is this... a castle?

Oh! I've never been in a castle.

To be honest, I can't remember being anywhere.

That's normal when you're woken to Almost-Life.

I'll show you around.

Oh, yes, a tour of the castle.

I love tours!

Almost as much as I love castles.

At least I think I do.

We live in a castle,

we live in a castle.

We, me and you,

we both live in a castle.

A very big castle!

You are my bestest best friend ever.

I knew that as soon as you said,

you weren't going to burn me down, which is really weird,

because I don't know your name.

-Stitch Head. -If you don't tell me,

I'm going to call you...

"Stitch Head" or something. -Stitch Head.

Come to think of it, I don't even know my name!

Stitch Head.

No, it'll be very confusing,

if we were both called that.

My name is Stitch Head.

I knew you'd like it.

Pleased to meet you, Stitch Head.

My name is...

Oh.

Gordon? Graham? Gavin?

Gary? Gazza? Gonzo?

Garfield? Galahad?

Gwyneth?

Gugglebutt? Gorgonzola?

Master Dungeon with En-Suite latrine.

This is where you sleep. -Oh.

Help! We're going to be eaten!

I don't want to be eaten. I'm only...

23 minutes old.

This is um...

-Creature. -Creature?

Oh... Creature.

Creature? These are the monsters.

Hi.

So... not an angry mob?

An angry mob?

No, not an angry mob.

Oh...

Right-ho.

Bedtime, everyone. The sun will be up soon.

Ohhh.

Has anyone seen me wart ointment?

Story?

"And so, by staying quiet, and out of sight,

the monsters were safe.

And the angry mob never came

to burn their castle to the ground.

And that's how they almost-lived

happily ever after."

Sleep tight.

Stitch Head?

Yes?

Erm...

Where do I come from?

Are there, erm, mummy-monsters and daddy-monsters,

and do they uh... uh...

You don't believe that , do you?

I guess you're old enough to know.

48 minutes.

What's the first thing you remember?

It's so long ago.

A laboratory!

A mad laboratory!

The maddest mad laboratory

I've ever seen.

I think.

And who was in it?

You!

Apart from me.

A mad professor.

The mad professor.

He made you!

He awoke you to Almost-Life.

You and all the other monsters here.

All of them?

Even... you?

I... I was the Professor's very first creation.

Wow, the very first!

Hey, I bet the Professor

totally loves you!

Well, actually, the Professor...

is very busy, with all his patents pending and so on.

I'm not even sure he knows who I am.

But...

But that's sad!

I feel sad.

It doesn't feel nice.

Good night.

-Good night. -Sleep tight, Stitch Head.

We love you, Stitch Head!

One of my best...

Oh yes! One of my best.

Goodnight, Professor.

What if the knees...

where connected to the ears!

Yes!

No, no, no, no.

Process it from a different angle.

That's all it is.

It's not a problem, it's an opportunity.

So, if I...

Bong! What's that, Stitch Head?

It's coming from the great door.

-There's someone there! -Outside! -Oh, nice.

-No, it's not. -No one ever comes! -Ever!

Not in any of our almost-lives!

It's here!

What?

An angry...

Just everyone stay calm!

...mob.

Shh!!

No noise, remember?

-Oh, right. -My bad.

Good mornin' to you!

Fulbert Freakfinder at your service.

With my travellin' carnival of unnatural wonders

of which you probably heard:

Never has a sight more terrifyin' been seen

by human eye!

No visitors.

Ow...

Now I know people can be cruel.

Why, there's even folk down in Guggers Munchkin says

there's a monster in this 'ere castle!

But as I always say:

one person's monster,

is another's poor, misunderstood creature,

cursed by cruel fate

to look just a teeny-weeny bit...

odd.

And one person's hideous disfigurement

is another man's business opportunity!

And so I was wondering...

whether we could have a chat

about careers in the entertainment industry?

-Boss? It hurts. -Shh!

It's coming!

It's never gonna work!

Please hurry up.

My groin.

Ow!

Quiet!

[Stitch Head breathes nervously]

Towards the wall!

Ah there you are, my dear!

Other way! Other way!!

Lovely day for it!

No, left! My left! The other left!

Coming.

I say...

you wouldn't mind giving me a bit of a hand?

Um...

Sorry?

Please excuse me.

It's me, not you.

Speak it your way!

No. Visitors.

But my dear boy...

you are... hideous.

They'd love you.

Love you...

I told you so.

Love you...

It doesn't hurt. I'm fine.

Ow...

Love you...

And? Was it an angry mob?

Did it want to burn down the castle?

Are we all going to dieeeee??

No, no, they'd...

love me.

I mean... Go back to bed!

There's something I need to check.

Hey hey!

-You did it! -Did what?

Wait till the professor finds out.

He's gonna really love you now.

Live! Live!

You shall be my greatest creation ever!

See, he's busy.

So what? You saved the castle.

He won't pay attention.

I've got a plan! Don't worry.

I've put all my brain power into it!

-Oh, - I call it...

Dingle-Dangle!

Transformers!

A simple spanner...

Professor, it's Stitch Head!

Electrodes!

Your first ever creation!

He loves you!

Power!

Initiate the sequence.

And now: Engage...

the Animator!

Just talk to him!

Uh-oh...

Professor?

Oh my goodness.

You?

There was a man at the gate.

And... He wanted me to join the circus.

He said people would love me.

That they would love me.

But I said no.

And I made him go away.

Because you need me here.

Right?

But I had no idea.

I never imagined...

You shall be my greatest creation ever!

And I really mean it this time!

Oh, you are a beauty!

Stitch Head!

The monster!

He is going on a monster rampage!

That's what usually happens.

Someone has to stop him before he destroys the whole castle!

I'd better show you how then.

Me?!

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

"Welcome to Almost-Life.

Registered trade mark, patents pending.

You may be feeling...

You may be feeling..."

Disorientation! Restless legs!

Mirror.

-Dizziness. Ow. -Trapdoor.

Headache. Ow!

Monster wash.

- Stitch Head! -Controls are pretty obvious.

They are?

Heeelp!

Stitch Head.

Stitch Heeeead!

Stitch--

Stitch Heeeead!

Stitch Heeeead!

Make sure they see the film.

Stitch Heeeead!

And don't forget to rewind!

You are a monster.

You want to be monstrous.

Good kitty! No biting! Just watch the screen!

But monstrousness is dangerous.

Monstrousness makes noise.

Monstrousness attracts attention.

They will love you!

I'm here! This way!

I want to come with you!

Come on board, my boy!

Take my hand.

Up, Mimi... Up!

Stitch Head? Jump!

Stitch Head!

Help!

Mama!

So predictable.

Stitch Heaaaad!

Nooo.

-Oh... -Don't look.

-Hey. -Bang on! -Well done!

More power!

I'm giving her all she's got!

You have to let go.

No...

It's bedtime!

-The sun is coming up. -But Stitch Head isn't here!

We don't know what to do!

"And so, by staying quiet,

and out of sight, the monsters were safe,

but then Stitch Head left for the town.

So now it's only

a matter of time before the angry mob comes,

to burn their castle to the ground.

And then they won't almost-live happily ever after

ever again."

Sorry.

So are we just meant to huddle here

clutching each other in pure terror?

Um... Yeah.

Good plan!

Don't let anybody see him!

We'll have none of that!

But they came from the castle!

And they have got someone with them!

Nothing good can come from the castle!

It's full of monsters!

Oh. Give me those!

Maybe they're friendly?

That's what they want you to think.

They want you to lower your guard for just one minute

and then BOOM!

They'll be in...

your...

brain!!!

All for your own protection.

But they think it's for theirs. You see?

Ha! Show business, my boy.

Don't worry,

they'll love you!

Good sir, would you not care to see something horrific?

Something to steal your sanity and your bladder control?

Fair lady!

So how does profit share actually work?

We'll never make it back!

You're just predicting what's obvious!

Would you not care to blight your lovely eyes forever

with one brief glimpse of a thing most horrid and foul?

-My savings are in the balloon! -All of our savings!

I'll make it cheaper, just for you. Sixpence!

Get off me!

Tuppence!

Alright, a penny! My final offer!

Why should I?

Why?!

Why?!

Because it's from the castle!

The castle?!

That castle?

Castle G-Grotteskew?

The very same.

-I can't sleep! -I'm scared.

-Turn the light on! -It's on! Your eyes are closed.

Where's Stitch Head?

This is all my fault.

I did the dingle-dangle!

And that's why Stitch Head left.

So I must go down to the town and rescue him!

But the townsfolk!

-The angry mob! -Aren't you scared?

No.

Well, yes.

But Stitch Head

is my bestest best friend ever.

And rescuing is what best friends do.

Right! Showtime!

But I... I look...

-Ready to go? -Where's the show?

They'll scream...

And that's the idea!

The artist...

holds a mirror... up to beauty.

Someone's going to get impatient out here.

The public doesn't even stop to glance.

Have you got a monster in there or not?

But...

show them something frightful,

the reaction's quite delightful.

I want my money back!

They'll be cueing

for an eyeful.

And... they'll...

scream!

You can't keep me here against my will!

Make em scream.

Make em scream.

Nothing quite delivers like the good old-fashioned shivers!

Make em scream.

If you want them all to love you,

make em scream!

Make em choke, make em gag

and success is in the bag.

Nothing's quite as gorgeous as an audience that's nauseous!

If you want em all to love you: Make em scream!

Wake the primitive responses from deep in their unconscious

Outrage, sicken and disgust em, gross em out and maladjust em

Break all their taboos and you'll make the evening news

with rave reviews, a millions views.

So make em scream! Make em scream!

Give em terror, give em horror,

give em Sodom and Gomorrah.

Make em jump make em spook,

if you can then make em puke.

If you want them all to love youuuu,

Make

emmmm

scream!!!

Make em scream!

Was that all part of the show?

Oh don't be ridiculous! We're just warming up.

-But what am I meant to do? -Roar!

-Do a handstand. -Wave your arms.

From the back of the throat!

-Wave your legs! -And then do another handstand!

Let your eyes reflect the sheer futility of mortal existence!

Nothing!

Just be yourself.

Get in here.

Prepare for the worst!

The ghastly, the grotesque:

the Ghoul of Grotteskew!

Ladies,

we have got a winner.

Get a mop, Horace.

But what will you do if a human sees you?

-Run away! -Dig a hole!

-Turn into a ball. -Yes.

No.

I have a plan.

Oh!

Not to be noticed in the first place!

Ah!

I will flit

cat-like

from one shadow to the next.

Invisible.

Silent.

Unseen.

He is my hero!

Ready for the equipment?

Ready.

Wait!

Wash bag.

And the camouflage!

Any last words?

I will return with Stitch Head,

or I will not return at all.

Sorry, what?

I will return with Stitch Head,

or I will not return at all!

No. Sorry. Not quite catching that.

I will return with Stitch...

Just open the gate, Steve.

-So brave. -Very brave.

Very, very brave.

-He's toast. -Yeah. Doesn't stand a chance.

Could we shut the gate now before an angry mob comes in?

Hi-yah!

Oh no, no, no.

The Ghoul of Grotteskew!

Next.

And the next, please.

Arabella, you are not seeing that!

Oh, Nan!

The Ghoul of Grotteskew!

A shilling!

Ticket, please. Enjoy the show.

Next, please.

The Ghoul of Grotteskew!

Next, please.

Scuse me...

-A ticket, please. -Arabella!

Next.

Ticket.

The Ghoul...

Next please.

-Aww. -Ticket.

-Next, please. -Arabella. -Oh, Nan...

The Ghoul...

-Arabella! -...of Grotteskew!

-Next! -Ticket.

'Scuse me, boss.

Next!

You can't frighten me!

Nothing frightens me!

No, sir. Of course not, sir.

Pah!

High five.

Don't forget to leave a review!

You beast!

Boo!

Ahu!

Ta-daaa!

Hey.

Next! Next!...

-Next! -That's it. Last one.

Stitch Head, come on out, my lad!

They love you!

Just like I said.

We've got a hit!

Arrrrrriba!

I knew you'd be a star!

-Wanna work out some time? -No, he's working out with me!

Arabella? No going out.

The monster is frightful, I tell you! Frightful!

Are you ready for monsters?

Shh. It's okay, Buster.

Quiet. Shh.

Good doggie. Ow!

It's occupied! Go away!

Are you ready for monsters?

I let myself in. That's not weird is it?

Lolly? I licked it. That is weird.

Shh! Keep quiet!

Or we're both completely dead!

Unless you're dead already, I suppose?

"Ghoul of Grotteskew" sounds like a ghost,

but you don't look like one at all.

What's your real name?

Or do they just call you something like...

Stitch Head?

How did you know?

It's so obvious. Arabella.

Are you okay?

Don't be scared.

Aren't you scared?

Course not. Being scared is stupid.

Then why are you here?

I have questions.

Your name. We did that.

How old are you? Who created you?

Why have you come from the castle and...

Don't you miss the other monsters?

How do you know about... I mean...

What other monsters?

And how do you know about them? If they exist.

Which they don't.

So!

Rise and shine, my boy.

We'll make it bigger, better, scarier than...

Ahh! What's that?

Nooooo!

No peeking without paying. That's a shilling. Now!

Keep the change.

Ugh. Right. That's it.

Wait. You haven't screamed?

Ahh.

Freak!

Rehearsal. Private.

So. Our next show.

A spectacular to set the world alight.

And what will you do?

Just be myself.

What?

The same thing as the last show?

-I thought they loved me. -They did. Loved. Loved-d-d.

Past tense!

Just because they loved you yesterday,

doesn't mean they will love you tomorrow just like that.

Love has to be earned.

Erm... how?

You have to give them...

more!

Are you ready for monsters?

For a freakish romance?

Are you ready for monsters?

But you might poop your pants!

Are you ready for monsteeers?

Prepare to be terrified...

by the Ghoul of Grotteskew!

But you can call him Stitch Head!

Your cue.

See your brain blows up when you see me close up

Lock your kids inside, this is for the grownups.

I'm so killer, I'm so creepy,

turn you paler than tzatziki!

Don't you know they call me Stitch Head,

cos I scare myself to pieces.

When I say "Stitch",

you say "Head".

-Stitch -Head

-Stitch -Head

C'mon, when I say Stitch, you say Head

-Stitch -Head! -Stitch -Head!

Made of bodies long since dead

-Stitch -Head! -Stitch -Head!

My limbs are hanging by a thread.

-Stitch -Head!

So always check beneath your bed.

-It's Stitch Head! -So are you hot for monsters?

We'll sizzle your tongue!

-Come on in, sneak a peak! -But not for too long!

Are you hungry for monsters?

Table for one?

Then get ready to freaaaak!

Are you ready for monsteeers?

Stitch Head T-shirts,

posters, signed postcards, mugs, lunchboxes

and Stitch Head tea-towels are available here!

All at a very reasonable price.

Marvellous, my boy! Marvellous!

Carry on like this and one day all this will be yours !

-What? Us too? -Don't sell me again!

"Three for the price of two"

only on the pyjama sets, you pea brain!

Stitch Head! Stitch Head!

Ow!

And now, my boy,

look at that!

Tadaaaa!

You see?

Yours! All yours!

Well, technically it's hire-purchase but...

Ouch!

Nothing is too good for you!

That's what I say!

But... stay away from the windows.

No pictures unless they are paying, right?

Right.

And remember:

No visitors.

Course not.

Enjoy.

What do I always say?

-We'll get paid next week? -No! Keep your eyes peeled.

No one goes in or out without my say so!

No, no, no. Profit share means...

Who pays for the merch?

Do you think I get

10.000 Stitch Head pyjama sets for free?

I have overheads!

Do you know even know what overheads are?

So, did you like the show?

They loved me, right?

You think?

You're hurt.

-Stitch Head bottle opener? -Who needs that?

I know, but they are buying them!

Just because they have my face on!

If that's not love...

What is?

I dunno.

Something like...

Rescue!!!

Thank goodness you're alone.

Hello!

Ahhh, human!

Shhh.

-What was that? -Like I said, an overhead!

That's worth a tenner at least.

Boy?!!

Quick! Hide!

-What about your friend? -In here.

-Seriously? -What's wrong with it?

Is someone in there?

No, uh... Just me.

Do I need to be more frightening?

Stitch Head! Watch out! Humans!

Everywhere!

-What was that? -Nothing.

-Pleased to meet you. -Human!!!

-No visitors! -No one in here!

Oops.

Break it down, boys.

What was that noise?

Oh, just working on my monstrousness. Any good?

Yes... No...

Very good. Good night.

-No visitors. - Wouldn't dream of it.

Hey!

Nice carpet.

The human...

It touched me!

So, what's the plan?

You want fame?

Fortune? Girlfriends?

Then guard that caravan!

Get away!

Get away, get away, get away!

What are you doing?

Quick, now! Push her out the door!

What? No!

Go monsters!

Uh-oh.

[Creature catches breath, scream continues]

Stay dignified.

We could be poor, but happy.

We lost the caravan.

Watch out!

Careful, she's dangerous!

Any minute she will form an angry mob!

It's not true.

I got it wrong.

Humans don't form angry mobs.

Humans love me.

But... I have come to rescue you.

I know.

And thank you.

But I don't want to be rescued.

But what about all the monsters?

Isn't it time they learn to look after themselves?

And...

what about me?

You love castles.

Remember?

Goodbye.

Could you take me back to the circus, please?

No following.

Goodbye.

Bestest best friend.

Stitch Head?!

Stitch Head?!

Sign this please?

Sign one for me as well?

I love your work so much!

Stitch Head, I'm your biggest fan.

He is so dreamy!

Stitch Head!

Come with me.

There's something you need to see.

But my fans...

Arabella, you are staying in!

The monster is on the street. You know what I told you:

If he sees you, he will eat you.

Right. I'm off to get an autograph.

How did you...

I sneak out

and I peek.

It's completely not allowed.

Are they any good?

Well...

Ermintrude's only got 6 legs.

And Shelley is more orange than brown.

But yes, they are good.

Very good.

And who's that?

Oh, that's just Creature.

He came to rescue you.

He thinks he's my bestest best friend ever.

And is he?

He doesn't understand.

People love me.

Really?

We love you Stitch Head!

Stitch Head!

Looks like it to me.

Artists.

The talent! Ha!

Always the same.

However good the trailer is.

It's never enough!

Fine, trash the trailer! Go it on your own!

Have your solo career!

Think you do it better without me?

Well just you wait and see.

I made you!

I took you in.

I treated you

like my own child!

And this is how you thank me?

He could come to me on bended knee!

I wouldn't take him back in a thousand years!

You've come back?

And you'll play the next show?

The most mind blowing,

stomach churning, trouser messing' show on earth?

Yes!

We gonna be riiiiich!

I'll make you famous like you'd never believe!

Before an audience of thousands!

A show that redefines the limits

of the monstrous, the bizarre and the grotesque!

Tonight: Rubbers Duggin.

Tomorrow: the capitals of the world!

Playing for the great and the good,

the kings and queens,

for adoring millions!

They are going

to love you!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome to the show that will braise your brain

gut your stomach and burst your bladder!

Are you ready to confront your deepest fears?

Yes!!

Ready to plunge

into the black abyss of horror that is the unknown?

Yes!

Are you ready...

for monsters?

Yes!

Then behold!

A dramatic reconstruction

in painstaking historic detail.

"The capture

of the Ghoul of Grotteskew!"

Behold above

the castle grim

and there behind its windows dim

there lurks and howls in primitive sin

the gruesome Ghoul of Grotteskew!

See! His mouth

besmirched with blood!

The remains, no doubt, of children good,

who simply had not understood:

in Grotteskew, do not set foot!

It's not a friendly neighborhood.

But lo! Here comes a hero brave!

Fulbert Freakfinder! Here to save

this wretched beast from the living grave

that is the castle of Grotteskew.

- "Never..." -Never!

But Fulbert, hero, unafraid

knows this savage must be saved

put on display, put on the stage

not rot in castle Grotteskew!

Oh, he is so dreamy!

He takes his lasso,

throws it long, snares the Ghoul,

but forces strong

hold back the beast, it's all gone wrong!

Huh?

"Chain hands now..."

The beast resists! The beast fights back!

And one by one

his stitches... snap.

-Help! -You say: "No! I will not go!"

No, no...

No!

-Don't you think we should... -No, he is fine!

Hold on, lad, they're loving it!

-Jump, Mimi! -No!

After a brief interval in which you can purchase

inexpensive refreshments in the foyer,

you shall witness

how I, Fulbert Freakfinder,

sew Stitch Head back together!

But first

prepare for churned stomachs

exploded minds and widdled seats

as Stitch Head's stitches...

are torn apart!

No!

Nooo!

Noooo!

-Monfter! -Humans!

-Stitch Head! -Creature!

Stitch Head!

This way! Go!

-Go! -Humans!

Help!

Arabella!

You know that thing?

Yes! He's a creature of Grotteskew

and Stitch Head's bestest friend.

He's come to rescue him and take him back to Grotteskew,

where he and the other monsters are safe.

-Other monsters? -Yes! They have been awoken

to Almost-Life by the mad professor,

but they live peacefully in the castle!

And there's nothing

you can do about it.

Boss! The circus! The caravans!

The balloon!

Forget about all that.

We have just landed the jackpot.

-What about Arabella? -She's a human!

What does she need to be afraid of?

Um... the castle is that way.

But you don't want to go back to the castle.

The monsters have to look after themselves!

I think I've changed my mind.

You did?

On balance, this does feel better.

People of Guggers Nuffin!

People of Duffers Nuggin!

Oi!

You are afraid.

Deeply afraid.

I am.

But the time has come

to throw off your fear.

Too long have you been intimidated!

Too long have you trembled in terror.

Too long have you lived in the shadow...

of monstrosity!

But now the abominations of Grotteskew

have gone too far.

They have crossed a line.

They have kidnapped...

a little girl.

Arabellaaa!

But there's still a chance

that she still lives

up there,

in castle Grotteskew!

People of...

whatever this place is called.

The time has come.

The time to form...

an angry mob!

Off you go then.

You are mean!

You are evil! You...

And you are very inconvenient.

-Back in the sack, boys! -No!

Isn't that a bit... off?

Oh don't be such moaning minnies.

The castle is full of monsters.

And you know what monsters mean?

Um...

Money, you morons!

Monsters mean...

money.

Oh, sorry.

These woods are very dark.

It's Creature! And he's got Stitch Head!

He has rescued Stitch Head!

Open the gate!

We made it!

-You did it! -You did it!

And, you didn't die!

I'm sorry.

I should never have left the castle.

Why did you go, Stitch Head?

I just wanted to be loved.

But we love you.

We've always loved you.

Exactly.

You're my bestest best friend. Remember?

Ohhh!

So cute.

I don't want to interrupt your moment, but, um...

Burn that castle!

An angry mob!

Close the gate!

-Run away! -Run away!

Huh?

Run away!

Attack!

Forward!

Stop!

Huh?

We are monsters!

And if I learned anything down in that town:

It's that people are afraid of monsters!

Don't you mean that the other way around?

No. If humans were afraid of me,

how are they going to react to Alice?

I find that rather insensitive.

This is no time for hurt feelings.

This is time to let out your monstrousness!

What monstrousness?

You are monsters.

You want to be monstrous!

It's in your nature.

Huh?

Just be whoever you would be if you weren't afraid.

But Stitch Head!

We are afraid!

Monsters!

-Don't be frightened! -Run away!

Ohh! I love me when I'm angry.

We've got you now.

Let's finish this!

Huh?

It's monster time.

This is fun!

Can't we just go back to the old show?

Never, you losers! Sack!

Boss? You'll never catch monsters like that...

I don't need monsters!

Just like I don't need you!

All I need is the monster maker !

-Help!!! -Oh, don't be such a baby.

Freeze! Or I'll bite his ear off!

Wait a minute!

I thought you'd been kidnapped by this lot?

By the monsters? Pah!

We can explain.

Can we?

Live! Live!

You will be my greatest creation ever!

What on earth are you doing? You can't walk into...

Professor? Fulbert Freakfinder.

Your greatest fan!

And your new employer!

Not so fast, Freakfinder!

You?

Dingle-Dangle!

You've got talent, Stitch Head!

Come with me!

Never!

The professor never loved you!

Or you'd have never left the castle, right?

No!

Pull!

He's getting away!

Pull harder!

Harder!

Think what you are giving up, Stitch Head!

A new monster each week,

to do with as we please!

Harder!

But Stitch Head, your stitches!

Audiences would love us!

That's not love!

Then what is?

Harder!

Yes!

Oh.

You see, I wasn't kidnapped by the monsters,

but by the freaks!

Um... Yeah.

-Our bad. -I feel very awkward.

So, what are you going to do now?

-Run away. -Hide.

-Blame somebody else? -No!

You're going to say sorry!

Now!

Oh, uh... right.

Sorry about the whole angry mob thing.

-It's fine, don't mention it. -Everyone makes mistakes!

And shake hands!

Like you mean it!

So where did that Freakfinder get to, then?

Air Supply - All Out Of Love

Fair enough.

Huh!

You will always be...

my bestest best friend.

Stitch Head?

Stitch Head?

Stitch Head...

Yes...

Yes...

I called you Stitch Head.

And you called me Tiny.

-Geoff. -.

Mary.

Shelley.

Barney.

-Woodlouse. -Woodlouse.

Pigbutt.

Skaterdog.

Frank... Rhinodino... Octochicken?

And Steve.

Hello.

And this is Creature.

You...

made us.

I... I did.

And I made Stitch Head.

Look at the state of him!

This won't do at all.

Pass me needle and thread. I'll need the number 5.

And hurry up, we haven't got all day!

You...

were my very first creation.

Did you hear that,

Stitch Head?

He said you...

I know.

And you...

are my bestest best friend ever.

Are you ready for monsters!