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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:57,210 --> 00:01:58,460 Tschick! 2 00:02:18,251 --> 00:02:21,543 Actually, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Tatjana. 3 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,918 Even though she had nothing to do with the whole thing. 4 00:02:26,543 --> 00:02:28,710 Is what I'm talking about hard to follow? 5 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:31,793 Yeah, well, sorry. 6 00:02:34,543 --> 00:02:37,418 Tatjana Cosic isn't even part of the story. 7 00:02:37,835 --> 00:02:40,001 The prettiest girl in the world plays no part. 8 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,043 My vacation. 9 00:02:42,751 --> 00:02:46,460 For summer last year we went to the sea. 10 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:49,501 We were stuck in our rubber dingy. 11 00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,793 The paddles were in the water. 12 00:02:53,293 --> 00:02:55,085 It got pretty hot in the sun. 13 00:02:55,626 --> 00:02:59,210 Luckily the coast guard got us out. 14 00:02:59,585 --> 00:03:00,585 Maik! 15 00:03:00,918 --> 00:03:03,543 They rescued us. Thank God. 16 00:03:04,668 --> 00:03:07,126 Put in some effort next time, Justin. 17 00:03:10,043 --> 00:03:11,043 Sit down. 18 00:03:12,876 --> 00:03:14,043 Who's next? 19 00:03:15,418 --> 00:03:17,418 It's my birthday in three weeks. 20 00:03:17,751 --> 00:03:19,293 First Saturday of summer. 21 00:03:19,626 --> 00:03:22,001 Party! There'll be an invite. Love, Tatjana. 22 00:03:22,585 --> 00:03:26,210 Vacation. Water. Rescue. God. 23 00:03:28,293 --> 00:03:30,043 Maik Klingenberg. 24 00:03:32,126 --> 00:03:33,210 Please come up. 25 00:03:35,126 --> 00:03:36,710 Maik, sometime today. 26 00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:45,835 My mother and the beauty farm. By Maik Klingenberg. 27 00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:49,918 I like my mother. She's not like other mothers. 28 00:03:50,418 --> 00:03:52,085 She can be very funny. 29 00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:54,251 Most moms aren't. 30 00:03:55,876 --> 00:03:57,501 My mother plays tennis. 31 00:03:57,835 --> 00:03:59,501 She's the family tennis nut. 32 00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:04,210 She won the club championship even with a bottle of vodka in her system. 33 00:04:04,585 --> 00:04:05,751 Need help, mom? 34 00:04:07,001 --> 00:04:08,001 It's all right. 35 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,085 This conversation often comes up: 36 00:04:24,668 --> 00:04:25,960 Mrs. Weber asks my mother: 37 00:04:26,293 --> 00:04:28,376 Are you in the summer match, Mrs. Klingenberg? 38 00:04:29,126 --> 00:04:31,168 Don't worry. I'll be gone. 39 00:04:31,710 --> 00:04:32,918 Where to? 40 00:04:33,876 --> 00:04:35,085 The beauty farm. 41 00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:38,418 Then somebody at the table who didn't know the phrase 42 00:04:38,751 --> 00:04:40,751 always threw out the clever quip: 43 00:04:41,251 --> 00:04:44,251 You don't need help with that, Mrs. Klingenberg. 44 00:04:44,835 --> 00:04:46,626 That's a joke. It's a rehab facility. 45 00:04:54,251 --> 00:04:58,460 We'd walk home hand in hand since she was no longer capable of driving. 46 00:04:58,835 --> 00:05:01,668 I carried her heavy racket bag and she said to me, 47 00:05:02,085 --> 00:05:05,126 "You can't learn much from me. But two things you can learn:" 48 00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:07,293 "First, you can talk about anything." 49 00:05:07,626 --> 00:05:09,876 "Second, what others think doesn't mean shit." 50 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,335 Psycho! 51 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:13,460 Quiet, please. 52 00:05:14,710 --> 00:05:16,335 Thanks, Maik. 53 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:17,751 I'm not finished. 54 00:05:18,335 --> 00:05:19,543 How much longer is it? 55 00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:23,501 Six pages. 56 00:05:23,876 --> 00:05:25,501 That'll do for today. 57 00:05:27,585 --> 00:05:29,085 Was that funny to you? 58 00:05:33,335 --> 00:05:34,376 Maik? 59 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,085 It's your mother. 60 00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:39,418 Did you think about that? 61 00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:41,335 Your mother. 62 00:05:41,918 --> 00:05:43,085 Do you get that? 63 00:05:44,376 --> 00:05:46,460 I get that my mother is my mother. 64 00:05:47,751 --> 00:05:51,251 Your story was the most sickening, unsavory, and shameless 65 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:54,251 I've encountered in 30 years of teaching. 66 00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:57,168 You should rip these pages out. 67 00:06:01,293 --> 00:06:04,543 I don't mean literally, I mean think about what you've done. 68 00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:06,460 Really think! 69 00:06:08,626 --> 00:06:12,835 Quite clearly, I'd made a big mistake. But I didn't know what I'd done wrong. 70 00:06:13,668 --> 00:06:17,126 Wagenbach didn't tell me, and I still don't know. 71 00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:19,460 He told me to think. 72 00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:23,918 But all I could think about was Tatjana's birthday. 73 00:06:24,668 --> 00:06:26,585 It was all anybody talked about. 74 00:06:26,918 --> 00:06:31,293 I heard Tatjana's uncle is bringing his own beer tap with 100 liters. 75 00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:35,918 Wow! I already ordered condoms on Amazon. 76 00:06:37,543 --> 00:06:39,543 Word was that everyone would be invited. 77 00:06:40,585 --> 00:06:44,876 I tried desperately to think of a present for her. 78 00:06:46,585 --> 00:06:48,293 A HAPPY NEW HOME 79 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:52,376 It had to be something special. But I couldn't come up with anything. 80 00:06:56,085 --> 00:06:58,085 And then I hit on an idea. 81 00:07:03,793 --> 00:07:08,585 ...the bankruptcy guy? That jerk can kiss my ass. 82 00:07:10,251 --> 00:07:12,460 Hey, Maik, there's a front door too. 83 00:07:13,126 --> 00:07:15,876 Do you know what I'm going to do to those eco-fascists? 84 00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:38,710 I guess I wanted her to see I put a lot of effort into it. 85 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,376 If you put in a lot of effort, people guess why. 86 00:07:47,335 --> 00:07:48,418 Good morning. 87 00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:50,918 Come up front with me. 88 00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:57,460 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please, 89 00:07:57,793 --> 00:07:59,626 we've got a new classmate. 90 00:08:00,376 --> 00:08:02,085 His name is Andrej. 91 00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:04,751 Tsch... Tschicha...tschoroff. 92 00:08:07,251 --> 00:08:08,335 Please? 93 00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:10,835 Tschichatschow. 94 00:08:12,418 --> 00:08:15,626 Would you like to tell us about yourself, where you're from? 95 00:08:16,418 --> 00:08:17,585 I don't care. 96 00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:20,001 Okay, fine, I will then. 97 00:08:20,793 --> 00:08:22,376 Or would you rather I not? 98 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:23,918 Go ahead. 99 00:08:26,126 --> 00:08:27,251 So, Andrej... 100 00:08:28,293 --> 00:08:30,835 Tschi-chow is our new classmate's name, 101 00:08:31,168 --> 00:08:34,126 and he's from the vast expanses of Russia. 102 00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:36,293 Right away I couldn't stand Tschick. 103 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,793 No one could. 104 00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:41,626 Tschick was trash, and he looked the part. 105 00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:47,418 I had a rotten feeling about him up there with Wagenbach: 106 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,376 two assholes for the price of one. - ...now he's here at our high school. 107 00:08:51,751 --> 00:08:53,335 And all that in just four years. 108 00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,335 Isn't that something? Was that right? - About 90% of it. 109 00:08:57,835 --> 00:08:59,335 Well then, fine. 110 00:09:00,126 --> 00:09:03,710 We can't have you up here all day, as nice as it is chatting with you. 111 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,835 Please take the open desk 112 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:08,835 in the second row next to Maik Klingenberg. 113 00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:11,626 Laila, could you please wipe the blackboard? 114 00:09:13,168 --> 00:09:16,168 And so, everyone take out their notebooks... 115 00:09:17,418 --> 00:09:20,085 A scent wafted over that almost knocked me over. 116 00:09:22,876 --> 00:09:25,626 It was the smell of my mother on a bad day. 117 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,501 Something just had to happen after his performance with Wagenbach. 118 00:09:33,835 --> 00:09:36,085 It was sure to be interesting. 119 00:09:37,585 --> 00:09:39,710 But then nothing happened in the next few days. 120 00:09:40,918 --> 00:09:43,335 Then a week later, we got our math test back. 121 00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:45,251 Here Kevin, a D -. 122 00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:47,960 I put mercy above justice. 123 00:09:49,335 --> 00:09:50,460 A miracle happened! 124 00:09:50,793 --> 00:09:53,501 One of you got an A+. 125 00:09:54,043 --> 00:09:55,001 Not you. 126 00:09:56,501 --> 00:09:57,585 You either. 127 00:09:58,585 --> 00:09:59,793 Andrej, 128 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,126 congratulations. 129 00:10:03,251 --> 00:10:07,085 Go to the board and show us how you solved problem 2. 130 00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:29,585 New shoes? Stolen for sure! 131 00:10:29,918 --> 00:10:31,585 Tschick! - Hey, Putin! 132 00:10:31,918 --> 00:10:32,960 Drunk as a skunk? 133 00:10:36,376 --> 00:10:37,543 What do you want? 134 00:10:49,376 --> 00:10:51,335 That fired up the rumor machine: 135 00:10:51,668 --> 00:10:54,501 like that Tschick's family was Russian mafia. 136 00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:57,751 There was no other explanation for how 137 00:10:58,168 --> 00:11:01,210 he shut that fool down with just few words. 138 00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,918 This came for you today! 139 00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:31,751 Thanks! 140 00:11:52,335 --> 00:11:54,293 Then, on the last day of school... 141 00:11:55,085 --> 00:11:56,085 For Justin. 142 00:11:56,668 --> 00:11:59,251 I'd have been the happiest guy in the universe 143 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,751 if finally an invite found its way to me... 144 00:12:02,085 --> 00:12:03,085 Hey, Maik. 145 00:12:09,876 --> 00:12:11,668 Hey Psycho, give it here. 146 00:12:12,085 --> 00:12:13,293 It's for me. 147 00:12:16,543 --> 00:12:18,335 Maik Klingenberg. 148 00:12:22,668 --> 00:12:23,751 Here you go. 149 00:12:29,501 --> 00:12:31,460 Everyone had a little green invite. 150 00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:36,001 Almost everyone. 151 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:37,960 Tschick didn't get one either. 152 00:12:38,293 --> 00:12:39,293 Big surprise. 153 00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,501 No invite for the psycho or the weirdo. 154 00:12:44,626 --> 00:12:45,710 Maik! 155 00:12:46,168 --> 00:12:47,710 I completely forgot you! 156 00:12:49,751 --> 00:12:52,043 Here's your invite. I hope you can make it. 157 00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:56,210 I'd be so disappointed if you, of all people, couldn't make it. 158 00:12:56,585 --> 00:12:58,376 I hope you thought of my present. 159 00:12:59,626 --> 00:13:01,585 Of course, I can depend on you! 160 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:02,960 See you there. 161 00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:04,918 I'm so happy you're coming! 162 00:13:21,876 --> 00:13:23,918 Have a nice summer, Klingenberg. 163 00:13:30,918 --> 00:13:32,251 Ultra kick-ass jacket. 164 00:13:32,626 --> 00:13:33,834 What? - Your jacket. 165 00:13:34,168 --> 00:13:35,334 I'll buy it. 166 00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:37,376 It's my favorite. Not for sale. 167 00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:38,959 Where can I get one? 168 00:13:39,293 --> 00:13:41,251 Hey, wait up! Where are you going? 169 00:13:42,584 --> 00:13:45,001 Did you get held back? - Why are you shouting? 170 00:13:45,334 --> 00:13:46,918 Did you fail? - No. 171 00:13:47,251 --> 00:13:49,584 Bunch of Ds, eh? - No idea. 172 00:13:49,918 --> 00:13:52,459 No idea? If I'm bugging you, say the word. 173 00:13:52,793 --> 00:13:53,918 I don't know. 174 00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:57,293 You don't know if I bug you? - I don't know if I got Ds. 175 00:13:57,668 --> 00:14:00,251 I didn't look yet. You didn't check your report card? 176 00:14:01,418 --> 00:14:02,709 Way to play it cool! 177 00:14:03,084 --> 00:14:05,001 What are you up to now? - Going home. 178 00:14:05,334 --> 00:14:07,376 And then? - None of your damn business. 179 00:14:09,084 --> 00:14:10,084 Hey Maik, 180 00:14:10,751 --> 00:14:12,418 ultra kick-ass jacket! 181 00:15:12,751 --> 00:15:13,834 Mom? 182 00:15:22,876 --> 00:15:23,876 Mom? 183 00:15:58,376 --> 00:16:00,918 I'm going back to the beauty farm tomorrow. 184 00:16:48,459 --> 00:16:49,709 Maik? 185 00:16:50,751 --> 00:16:52,334 Turn down the music. 186 00:16:54,626 --> 00:16:56,334 I have a business meeting. 187 00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:58,168 I'm being picked up soon. 188 00:16:59,376 --> 00:17:00,584 How long? 189 00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:03,376 14 days or so. Is that all right? 190 00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:11,126 I'll leave you 200 euros. 191 00:17:14,543 --> 00:17:16,834 So you don't get into trouble. 192 00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:21,418 Why do you hang in here? 193 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:23,834 We have a pool. 194 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,168 How much do you think it cost me? 195 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:40,626 Hi. 196 00:17:41,251 --> 00:17:42,251 Hello. 197 00:17:42,876 --> 00:17:44,501 I'm Mona. What's your name? 198 00:17:45,793 --> 00:17:46,918 Maik. 199 00:17:47,668 --> 00:17:48,793 It's hot, huh? 200 00:17:54,251 --> 00:17:56,501 It's supposed to get hotter. 201 00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:05,626 What are you doing for summer? 202 00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:07,626 I'm staying here. 203 00:18:08,168 --> 00:18:09,376 By yourself? 204 00:18:12,584 --> 00:18:14,376 Don't feel sorry for this guy. 205 00:18:14,709 --> 00:18:17,459 Maik, this is Mona. We work together. 206 00:18:17,876 --> 00:18:19,168 We just met. 207 00:18:19,626 --> 00:18:21,501 If there's anything, call me. 208 00:18:24,626 --> 00:18:26,376 During your business meeting? 209 00:18:26,959 --> 00:18:29,084 Yes, during my business meeting. 210 00:18:57,584 --> 00:18:59,251 Not on our property, bitch. 211 00:19:02,084 --> 00:19:03,459 Don't get into trouble! 212 00:19:25,751 --> 00:19:29,293 You look like a homo whose garden got shat all over. 213 00:19:44,168 --> 00:19:45,501 Did you steal that car? 214 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,293 No, just borrowed it. 215 00:19:47,626 --> 00:19:49,001 I'll put it back later. 216 00:19:55,751 --> 00:19:58,084 Lada Niva, runs on diesel. 217 00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:02,543 What about finger prints? - That's TV bullshit. 218 00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:04,501 Go ahead, touch anything. 219 00:20:05,043 --> 00:20:07,876 You want to go to jail? - I'm only 14, man. 220 00:20:08,209 --> 00:20:10,001 Criminal accountability starts at 15. 221 00:20:18,668 --> 00:20:20,543 Come on, Maik, let's go for a spin. 222 00:20:20,959 --> 00:20:22,001 No! 223 00:20:35,376 --> 00:20:37,584 Kick-ass pool. - Yeah, kick-ass pool. 224 00:20:38,168 --> 00:20:40,126 Kick-ass jacket, kick-ass pool. 225 00:20:45,168 --> 00:20:46,668 That's your kitchen? 226 00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:48,834 Kick-ass kitchen! 227 00:20:55,459 --> 00:20:56,876 You're not from Marzahn. 228 00:20:58,209 --> 00:21:00,626 My father dragged us here two years ago. 229 00:21:01,668 --> 00:21:03,584 What's he do? - Real estate developer. 230 00:21:07,459 --> 00:21:09,001 Developers make that much money? 231 00:21:09,751 --> 00:21:10,876 Not really. 232 00:21:11,126 --> 00:21:13,834 What do you mean? - My dad wanted to build houses here. 233 00:21:14,376 --> 00:21:17,501 But they found three extinct bugs and a rare frog. 234 00:21:17,834 --> 00:21:20,459 So, no permit. He only built this house. 235 00:21:20,793 --> 00:21:22,418 It now belongs to the bank. 236 00:21:23,543 --> 00:21:25,084 What's the frog called? 237 00:21:28,334 --> 00:21:29,584 Anura rossomontana. 238 00:21:30,793 --> 00:21:31,793 Okay... 239 00:21:41,543 --> 00:21:43,168 Man! I can't see you! 240 00:21:43,501 --> 00:21:44,709 Are you in a tank? 241 00:21:45,334 --> 00:21:48,918 I'm behind the barn. In a pinch, go to the last safe spot. 242 00:21:55,043 --> 00:21:56,584 You going to the party? 243 00:21:58,126 --> 00:21:59,334 What party? 244 00:22:00,168 --> 00:22:01,168 Tatjana's party. 245 00:22:02,209 --> 00:22:03,376 Nah, don't feel like it. 246 00:22:03,793 --> 00:22:04,793 Seriously? 247 00:22:05,918 --> 00:22:06,918 I've got plans. 248 00:22:11,043 --> 00:22:12,543 Besides, I'm not invited. 249 00:22:13,418 --> 00:22:14,418 Whoa. 250 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:16,834 I thought I was the only one. 251 00:22:17,959 --> 00:22:19,334 It'll be boring anyway. 252 00:22:19,793 --> 00:22:21,209 Simla will be there. 253 00:22:22,418 --> 00:22:23,751 And Natalie, 254 00:22:24,501 --> 00:22:26,709 Laura, Corinna, 255 00:22:27,043 --> 00:22:28,918 and Sarah with the big tits. 256 00:22:29,376 --> 00:22:30,793 Not to mention Tatjana. 257 00:22:32,001 --> 00:22:33,043 And Mia. 258 00:22:33,459 --> 00:22:35,834 And sweet-ass Jennifer from class 8a. 259 00:22:36,168 --> 00:22:37,209 And her cousin. 260 00:22:38,209 --> 00:22:39,209 And Melanie. 261 00:22:43,709 --> 00:22:44,709 Melanie... 262 00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:52,084 Are you gay, actually? - Are you nuts? 263 00:22:52,626 --> 00:22:54,834 Because you don't care about girls. 264 00:22:55,918 --> 00:22:58,834 The whole class is hot for Tatjana. 265 00:22:59,209 --> 00:23:02,126 You're the only one not staring at her ass, so are you gay? 266 00:23:02,668 --> 00:23:03,876 You're an idiot. 267 00:23:04,251 --> 00:23:05,418 It's no big deal. 268 00:23:06,043 --> 00:23:08,209 Did you notice I'm in a bad mood? 269 00:23:08,584 --> 00:23:09,584 Sure, but why? 270 00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:11,126 Because it's today. 271 00:23:11,459 --> 00:23:13,209 What's today? - The party, duh. 272 00:23:13,543 --> 00:23:16,293 Tatjana's party! - A minute ago you didn't feel like it. 273 00:23:16,751 --> 00:23:17,959 It's okay to be gay. 274 00:23:18,293 --> 00:23:19,334 I'm not gay! 275 00:23:19,668 --> 00:23:20,959 Want me to prove it? 276 00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:31,709 You have feelings for her. 277 00:23:33,626 --> 00:23:34,751 You gotta do something! 278 00:23:35,084 --> 00:23:37,168 Do what? Go to Tatjana and say, 279 00:23:37,501 --> 00:23:39,668 "I have a little gift." 280 00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:42,751 "I don't mind at all you didn't invite me." 281 00:23:43,084 --> 00:23:45,251 "No problem. I was just passing by." 282 00:23:45,668 --> 00:23:49,001 "Enjoy the drawing that I just worked my ass off on." 283 00:23:50,459 --> 00:23:52,001 That's exactly what I would do. 284 00:23:58,001 --> 00:24:00,376 You didn't signal. - Don't be afraid. 285 00:24:00,918 --> 00:24:03,126 I drive like a champ. - Then signal like a champ. 286 00:24:03,459 --> 00:24:05,168 Everyone sees where I'm going. 287 00:24:06,584 --> 00:24:09,251 We're not going to the party, just driving by, okay? 288 00:24:09,751 --> 00:24:11,584 Know why Tatjana didn't invite you? 289 00:24:11,959 --> 00:24:13,876 Because I'm boring and ugly. 290 00:24:14,376 --> 00:24:15,918 There's no reason to. 291 00:24:16,501 --> 00:24:19,084 You don't stand out. You gotta get noticed. 292 00:24:40,209 --> 00:24:42,584 Look, it's Lukas and Justin, retards. 293 00:24:49,793 --> 00:24:51,751 We don't go in. We said just drive by. 294 00:24:52,084 --> 00:24:53,084 Okay. 295 00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:56,126 Tschick! 296 00:24:58,293 --> 00:24:59,293 Tschick! 297 00:24:59,918 --> 00:25:01,668 Please don't, Tschick! 298 00:25:04,376 --> 00:25:05,584 Tschick, please don't. 299 00:25:05,959 --> 00:25:07,293 It'll be fine. 300 00:25:07,918 --> 00:25:09,168 Wait up! 301 00:25:51,626 --> 00:25:52,626 Here. 302 00:25:54,751 --> 00:25:55,918 A drawing. 303 00:25:57,959 --> 00:25:58,959 For you. 304 00:26:14,793 --> 00:26:15,793 Hey Tatjana! 305 00:26:21,918 --> 00:26:23,334 Want a drink? 306 00:26:23,709 --> 00:26:25,751 No thanks, we've got stuff to do. 307 00:26:34,251 --> 00:26:35,834 Should I give them a show? 308 00:26:36,668 --> 00:26:38,668 Should I? - Do whatever you want. 309 00:26:57,334 --> 00:26:58,418 Floor it! 310 00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:00,668 That doesn't work every time. 311 00:27:16,126 --> 00:27:17,418 See you tomorrow? 312 00:27:18,126 --> 00:27:19,709 Okay, I'll be here at 10. 313 00:27:24,959 --> 00:27:26,293 Kick-ass ride. 314 00:27:30,584 --> 00:27:32,543 What if we just kept driving? 315 00:27:35,126 --> 00:27:36,376 Where to? 316 00:27:36,834 --> 00:27:38,918 I have a grandfather in Wallachia. 317 00:27:40,084 --> 00:27:41,418 The middle of nowhere? 318 00:27:42,668 --> 00:27:45,043 Not the middle of nowhere, in Wallachia. 319 00:27:45,959 --> 00:27:48,709 Wallachia is just a word, like East Bumfuck. 320 00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:53,668 Saying someone lives in Wallachia means they live in the boondocks. 321 00:27:54,043 --> 00:27:55,126 It isn't a place? 322 00:27:55,584 --> 00:27:58,043 Nope. - But my grandpa lives there. 323 00:27:58,793 --> 00:28:01,543 In the boondocks, really? - You're getting on my nerves. 324 00:28:01,918 --> 00:28:04,584 He lives in a place called Wallachia. 325 00:28:04,959 --> 00:28:06,501 That's where we're going. 326 00:28:20,834 --> 00:28:22,876 So, are you Russian? Or Wallachian? 327 00:28:23,251 --> 00:28:24,626 German. I have a passport. 328 00:28:25,251 --> 00:28:26,668 Yeah, but where are you from? 329 00:28:27,001 --> 00:28:28,251 My family is from all over. 330 00:28:28,751 --> 00:28:31,376 Volga Germans, Kalmyks, Wallachians, 331 00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:33,043 Jewish Gypsies. 332 00:28:33,418 --> 00:28:36,084 Jewish Gypsies, there's no such thing. 333 00:28:36,418 --> 00:28:39,084 That's like saying there are English French. 334 00:28:39,418 --> 00:28:42,376 There are Jewish French and Jewish Gypsies. 335 00:28:42,793 --> 00:28:44,668 Either you're a Jew or a Gypsy. 336 00:28:45,043 --> 00:28:48,043 Jewish is a religion. A Gypsy is just someone without a home. 337 00:28:48,709 --> 00:28:50,293 People without homes are Berbers. 338 00:28:50,626 --> 00:28:52,543 Yeah right, Berbers are carpets. 339 00:28:59,459 --> 00:29:00,834 Lemme see! 340 00:29:03,918 --> 00:29:05,459 Hey, that was expensive! 341 00:29:05,834 --> 00:29:07,751 Any cocksucker can find us with that. 342 00:29:12,293 --> 00:29:13,376 Hey! 343 00:29:13,751 --> 00:29:17,001 Want to get scraped off the side of the road? - Sense-less! 344 00:29:28,626 --> 00:29:31,501 Don't we have a map? No phone, no map! 345 00:29:32,334 --> 00:29:35,168 We'll never get there. - Maps are for pussies. 346 00:29:35,501 --> 00:29:37,209 We just have to drive south. 347 00:29:42,959 --> 00:29:44,501 Look at this guy. 348 00:29:45,251 --> 00:29:46,626 Richard Claydé-erman. 349 00:30:03,501 --> 00:30:04,668 Totally awesome. 350 00:30:05,959 --> 00:30:07,668 You sure you're not gay? 351 00:30:14,168 --> 00:30:15,501 Don't take the autobahn! 352 00:30:15,834 --> 00:30:18,251 I'm not, I'm going south. - Yes you are! 353 00:30:19,626 --> 00:30:20,668 Shit! 354 00:30:21,001 --> 00:30:22,626 I couldn't see 'cause of the fog. 355 00:30:39,376 --> 00:30:43,584 You assholes! What the fuck? - He'll see you're only 14. 356 00:30:46,459 --> 00:30:47,751 He's calling the police! 357 00:30:48,501 --> 00:30:51,751 Tschick, exit! - I forgot to turn on the lights. 358 00:31:20,918 --> 00:31:22,168 Kevin Kurányi! 359 00:31:23,168 --> 00:31:24,793 You don't look like Kevin Kurányi! 360 00:31:25,168 --> 00:31:28,834 You look like a 14-year-old with duct tape on your silly mug. 361 00:31:35,626 --> 00:31:36,793 That's it. 362 00:31:37,293 --> 00:31:38,834 It's perfect for around here. 363 00:31:52,168 --> 00:31:53,376 Which way is south? 364 00:31:54,793 --> 00:31:59,043 You do know that with a watch you can tell the direction? 365 00:32:00,293 --> 00:32:04,501 Here, aim one hand at the sun 366 00:32:05,543 --> 00:32:07,043 and the other points north. 367 00:32:09,209 --> 00:32:10,876 Then that's north. 368 00:32:11,209 --> 00:32:14,043 Since when is the sun in the north? - Right now. 369 00:32:14,543 --> 00:32:15,709 Now look, 370 00:32:16,251 --> 00:32:19,876 the sun rises in the east, moves south and sets in the west. 371 00:32:20,209 --> 00:32:21,793 It's never in the north. 372 00:32:22,834 --> 00:32:24,459 Then it's daylight savings. 373 00:32:24,918 --> 00:32:27,334 It doesn't work in summer. Turn it back an hour. 374 00:32:27,751 --> 00:32:29,751 But the directions don't spin around. 375 00:32:30,376 --> 00:32:31,668 Maybe it's a gyrocompass. 376 00:32:32,001 --> 00:32:34,168 A gyrocompass doesn't spin like a gyroscope. 377 00:32:34,501 --> 00:32:36,834 It spins with alcohol. - You're shitting me. 378 00:32:37,209 --> 00:32:40,209 I read it in a book. A sailor breaks open the compass 379 00:32:40,543 --> 00:32:44,251 'cause he's an alcoholic, and then they all get lost. 380 00:32:44,668 --> 00:32:47,668 The book was "The Sea Bear" or "The Sea Wolf"... 381 00:32:48,001 --> 00:32:50,209 You mean "Steppenwolf" that's about drugs. 382 00:32:50,543 --> 00:32:52,251 "Steppenwolf" is a band. 383 00:32:52,709 --> 00:32:53,793 Sense-less! 384 00:32:54,126 --> 00:32:55,334 I'm going right. 385 00:33:34,418 --> 00:33:35,876 I think Clayderman is dying! 386 00:33:47,209 --> 00:33:48,209 This is good. 387 00:33:54,418 --> 00:33:55,793 It's a dead end. 388 00:33:56,209 --> 00:33:57,709 I'm not driving back now! 389 00:33:59,543 --> 00:34:01,293 Tschick, what are you doing? 390 00:34:01,626 --> 00:34:02,626 Tschick! 391 00:34:19,834 --> 00:34:21,043 Drive your name! 392 00:34:21,459 --> 00:34:24,376 My name? - So we can read it on Google Earth! 393 00:34:52,709 --> 00:34:55,251 Now snake around for the S. 394 00:35:01,501 --> 00:35:02,793 This kicks ass! 395 00:35:31,709 --> 00:35:33,626 You losers, get out of the way! 396 00:35:39,376 --> 00:35:40,501 Farmer at 6 o'clock! 397 00:35:41,043 --> 00:35:42,126 No, the farmer! 398 00:35:42,459 --> 00:35:44,084 Shit! - Hurry, drive! 399 00:35:45,751 --> 00:35:48,001 The cows are in the way! - Just run them down! 400 00:35:48,709 --> 00:35:49,709 Hurry! 401 00:35:54,251 --> 00:35:55,751 Drive, go! - I can't! 402 00:35:56,876 --> 00:35:57,876 Tschick go! 403 00:35:59,626 --> 00:36:00,668 Go! - I'm trying! 404 00:36:02,293 --> 00:36:04,459 Put the pedal to the metal, dude! 405 00:36:07,251 --> 00:36:08,918 Loose him! Drive! Drive! 406 00:36:10,084 --> 00:36:11,168 Go, Tschick! 407 00:36:12,293 --> 00:36:14,209 Lost him! Yeah! - Gimme five! 408 00:36:18,668 --> 00:36:20,334 We showed them! 409 00:37:04,709 --> 00:37:05,918 Where are you going? 410 00:37:06,376 --> 00:37:10,376 We've got to get the Lada off the roads for a couple of days. 411 00:37:21,501 --> 00:37:22,918 Dude, Transformers! 412 00:37:29,168 --> 00:37:30,168 Got a can opener? 413 00:37:31,876 --> 00:37:34,293 You brought cans but no can opener? 414 00:37:34,751 --> 00:37:35,751 What did you bring? 415 00:37:40,668 --> 00:37:42,626 Frozen pizza. Bring an oven? 416 00:37:48,168 --> 00:37:49,209 Got a lighter? 417 00:37:51,418 --> 00:37:52,418 Hold this. 418 00:38:00,293 --> 00:38:01,376 Sense-less. 419 00:38:04,459 --> 00:38:07,376 Goal for Mario Götze! It's all over now! 420 00:38:08,001 --> 00:38:09,418 Want to have a go? 421 00:38:23,918 --> 00:38:25,001 Wow. 422 00:38:25,918 --> 00:38:26,918 That's crazy. 423 00:38:27,501 --> 00:38:28,834 Way better than TV. 424 00:38:31,126 --> 00:38:32,626 You seen "Starship Troopers"? 425 00:38:33,001 --> 00:38:34,501 With the monkeys? - No, bugs. 426 00:38:35,084 --> 00:38:36,501 And the brain at the end? 427 00:38:37,084 --> 00:38:39,209 The giant brain bug? - Yeah! 428 00:38:43,626 --> 00:38:45,834 Somewhere up there, on one of those stars, 429 00:38:46,209 --> 00:38:47,543 that's what's happening. 430 00:38:47,918 --> 00:38:51,043 Actual bugs are slaughtering millions. 431 00:38:52,168 --> 00:38:53,668 Nobody even knows about it. 432 00:38:54,043 --> 00:38:55,084 Except for us. 433 00:38:57,709 --> 00:38:59,584 Really think something's out there? 434 00:39:02,251 --> 00:39:04,334 The chances are very slim. 435 00:39:05,209 --> 00:39:07,168 But since it's infinitely large, 436 00:39:07,918 --> 00:39:11,126 there's a good chance even for the slimmest odds... 437 00:39:13,543 --> 00:39:15,334 And somewhere there's a movie 438 00:39:15,751 --> 00:39:16,918 that plays on Earth 439 00:39:17,376 --> 00:39:19,501 about two kids who steal a car. 440 00:39:20,584 --> 00:39:22,334 They all think it's sci-fi: 441 00:39:22,834 --> 00:39:23,918 People and cars. 442 00:39:24,251 --> 00:39:25,418 Nobody believes it. 443 00:39:27,626 --> 00:39:29,168 Except for two young bugs. 444 00:39:30,543 --> 00:39:31,543 They believe it. 445 00:39:32,543 --> 00:39:34,376 They just hot-wired a helicopter. 446 00:39:35,168 --> 00:39:37,126 And they're thinking the same thing. 447 00:39:37,918 --> 00:39:39,126 They believe in us 448 00:39:39,751 --> 00:39:41,626 because we believe in them. 449 00:39:45,834 --> 00:39:47,168 Crazy. - Crazy. 450 00:40:10,584 --> 00:40:12,668 Where's the orphanage you escaped from? 451 00:40:13,001 --> 00:40:16,501 We didn't, we're Mobile Nobles, traveling from manor to manor. 452 00:40:18,168 --> 00:40:19,501 Are you cyclists too? 453 00:40:20,751 --> 00:40:22,043 We're automobilists. 454 00:40:22,668 --> 00:40:24,751 You were wrong. They're automobilists. 455 00:40:26,209 --> 00:40:28,209 Mobile Nobles, what's that? 456 00:40:29,418 --> 00:40:31,793 Certainly not proletariats in chariots. 457 00:40:34,543 --> 00:40:35,751 Gloria! 458 00:40:36,251 --> 00:40:37,334 Karl-Theodore! 459 00:40:41,126 --> 00:40:43,084 I think your baron is calling. 460 00:40:44,001 --> 00:40:45,209 He's a count. 461 00:40:49,834 --> 00:40:52,376 Who are those guys? - Mobile Nobles. 462 00:41:02,418 --> 00:41:03,876 Don't we have anything to eat? 463 00:41:06,001 --> 00:41:08,709 Let's ask them. - We're not weirdos. 464 00:41:10,293 --> 00:41:11,376 Where you going? 465 00:41:14,251 --> 00:41:16,626 To the Lada? - I have to eat. 466 00:41:17,876 --> 00:41:20,251 I thought we were hiding the Lada. 467 00:41:20,584 --> 00:41:22,751 A guy's gotta eat, or he'll die. 468 00:41:34,251 --> 00:41:35,459 Norma! - Norma! 469 00:41:45,668 --> 00:41:46,918 Where's Norma? 470 00:41:48,959 --> 00:41:50,418 Hey, I asked you a question. 471 00:41:52,001 --> 00:41:54,584 We don't go to the supermarket. - But where is it? 472 00:41:55,459 --> 00:41:58,626 We buy food from family Fröhlich. - Oh, the Fröhlichs. 473 00:41:59,376 --> 00:42:01,418 But where is the supermarket? 474 00:42:02,001 --> 00:42:04,084 The Fröhlichs live that way. 475 00:42:04,501 --> 00:42:07,126 Hello Friedemann! - Hello, Constable! 476 00:42:08,751 --> 00:42:09,959 Let's try again. 477 00:42:11,001 --> 00:42:14,418 Where is Norma? - Are you just going to have a look? 478 00:42:16,626 --> 00:42:19,168 Do you go to a supermarket just to look? 479 00:42:19,501 --> 00:42:20,793 We want to buy food! 480 00:42:21,168 --> 00:42:22,501 Friedemann! 481 00:42:23,251 --> 00:42:25,168 Come home, it's noon. 482 00:42:26,001 --> 00:42:27,668 Do you know where Norma is? 483 00:42:28,751 --> 00:42:30,751 They want to buy food, mommy! 484 00:42:31,084 --> 00:42:33,209 Norma who? - The supermarket! 485 00:42:33,876 --> 00:42:36,918 Oh! We never go there. We go to the Fröhlichs. 486 00:42:37,709 --> 00:42:39,918 We heard. - What do you want there? 487 00:42:40,418 --> 00:42:42,168 Grocery shopping. We're hungry. 488 00:42:43,709 --> 00:42:46,084 We're about to have lunch. Join us. 489 00:42:46,543 --> 00:42:49,501 What's for lunch, my dear lady? - Risi Bisi. 490 00:43:11,293 --> 00:43:12,293 Wait! 491 00:43:17,459 --> 00:43:21,043 We hold hands in prayer and thank God for his care, 492 00:43:21,376 --> 00:43:23,709 the beautiful Earth where everything grows... 493 00:43:25,501 --> 00:43:27,209 We'll make it short. 494 00:43:27,543 --> 00:43:29,126 May this meal be blessed. 495 00:43:36,793 --> 00:43:37,793 Holy moly. 496 00:43:38,626 --> 00:43:39,751 Delectable! 497 00:43:54,209 --> 00:43:56,168 Stop! First the questions! 498 00:43:56,501 --> 00:43:58,501 Wait, I have to think of one. 499 00:44:02,293 --> 00:44:04,751 What did Merope Gaunt get 500 00:44:05,584 --> 00:44:07,793 for Slytherin's locket... - 12 galleons! 501 00:44:08,126 --> 00:44:09,168 10 galleons! 502 00:44:09,501 --> 00:44:11,376 Elizabeth was the fastest. 503 00:44:13,543 --> 00:44:15,959 What was the name of the ship 504 00:44:16,751 --> 00:44:19,168 that Alexander von Humboldt... - Pizarro! 505 00:44:20,834 --> 00:44:22,418 Good job, Friedemann. 506 00:44:26,251 --> 00:44:28,293 Why did I say 12? 507 00:44:30,459 --> 00:44:32,043 How about a guest round? 508 00:44:32,751 --> 00:44:33,834 That's not fair! 509 00:44:34,209 --> 00:44:36,001 After that it's your turn. 510 00:44:38,043 --> 00:44:41,626 Who was the first president of Germany? 511 00:44:42,584 --> 00:44:43,751 Adenauer? 512 00:44:44,084 --> 00:44:46,793 Helmut Kohl! - Heuss, Lübke, Heinemann, Scheel, 513 00:44:47,168 --> 00:44:49,876 Carstens, Weizsäcker, Herzog, Köhler, Wulff, Gauck. 514 00:44:50,626 --> 00:44:51,751 Good Jonas. 515 00:44:52,584 --> 00:44:54,084 Now you can ask a question. 516 00:44:54,959 --> 00:44:57,126 What's the capital of Germany? 517 00:44:58,251 --> 00:44:59,584 I'd say Berlin. 518 00:45:00,834 --> 00:45:01,834 Me too. 519 00:45:02,168 --> 00:45:04,001 Then, dig in. 520 00:45:23,418 --> 00:45:26,168 Here's a melon. It's good for when you get thirsty too. 521 00:45:26,543 --> 00:45:28,001 Thank you. - Thanks a lot. 522 00:45:28,459 --> 00:45:30,751 Bye. - Bye! 523 00:45:35,293 --> 00:45:36,668 Now I have a quiz question: 524 00:45:37,709 --> 00:45:40,709 How do you figure out where north is by using a watch? 525 00:45:41,126 --> 00:45:44,376 Aim your hour hand at the sun, then wind the minute hand to 12, 526 00:45:44,709 --> 00:45:45,751 then it points south. 527 00:45:47,084 --> 00:45:48,126 Correct! 528 00:45:48,834 --> 00:45:49,918 Bye. - Bye. 529 00:45:53,126 --> 00:45:54,168 Cool people. 530 00:45:55,293 --> 00:45:56,334 So smart. 531 00:45:59,501 --> 00:46:00,834 Where was the father? 532 00:46:02,084 --> 00:46:03,084 Good question. 533 00:46:03,459 --> 00:46:04,751 Go ahead. I gotta pee. 534 00:46:34,668 --> 00:46:37,126 Show me your driver's license! How old are you? 535 00:46:38,251 --> 00:46:39,584 Open this door! 536 00:46:39,918 --> 00:46:41,334 Open it now! 537 00:46:42,293 --> 00:46:43,751 Darn you! 538 00:46:49,376 --> 00:46:51,168 Shit, Maik, sorry! 539 00:47:06,834 --> 00:47:08,501 Don't make it worse for yourself! 540 00:47:16,084 --> 00:47:17,501 Stay right there! 541 00:48:12,918 --> 00:48:14,043 What was I to do? 542 00:48:14,709 --> 00:48:17,501 I was 100km, maybe 200km, south of Berlin. 543 00:48:18,209 --> 00:48:20,376 Tschick just drove off in the light blue Lada 544 00:48:20,709 --> 00:48:22,376 that every cop was now after. 545 00:48:22,918 --> 00:48:25,918 I had no idea how we would find each other again. 546 00:48:29,459 --> 00:48:32,543 Normally, I guess you'd try to meet up 547 00:48:32,918 --> 00:48:35,126 at the spot you'd lost each other. 548 00:48:35,501 --> 00:48:39,043 But that wouldn't work now, the village sheriff was waiting there. 549 00:48:47,834 --> 00:48:48,876 Hello? 550 00:49:01,376 --> 00:49:04,334 If you can't meet where you'd last seen each other, 551 00:49:04,709 --> 00:49:07,376 you go back to the last safe spot you'd been together. 552 00:49:07,709 --> 00:49:08,793 The wind turbines! 553 00:49:09,126 --> 00:49:10,501 The simplest solution! 554 00:49:11,293 --> 00:49:12,668 The more I thought about it, 555 00:49:13,001 --> 00:49:16,209 the more convinced I was that Tschick would have the same idea. 556 00:49:25,751 --> 00:49:26,751 Tschick? 557 00:49:29,001 --> 00:49:30,001 Tschick! 558 00:49:48,501 --> 00:49:49,626 Tschick! 559 00:49:54,084 --> 00:49:56,751 Last safe spot! - Last safe spot! 560 00:49:58,001 --> 00:49:59,001 Man! 561 00:50:10,084 --> 00:50:12,251 How do you like the color? - Kick-ass! 562 00:50:12,584 --> 00:50:15,334 Where did you get the license plate? - Munich. 563 00:50:24,668 --> 00:50:26,459 Shit, we're out of gas. 564 00:50:42,626 --> 00:50:44,376 Where are we gonna get gas? 565 00:50:45,334 --> 00:50:47,626 What if we just steal another car? 566 00:50:48,084 --> 00:50:52,209 Are you nuts? We can't steal a new car every time we run out of gas. 567 00:50:57,418 --> 00:50:59,126 Then that's the end of our trip. 568 00:51:01,251 --> 00:51:03,251 I wanted to take the Lada back. 569 00:51:09,043 --> 00:51:10,459 We're stupid! 570 00:51:10,918 --> 00:51:13,168 We just have to get gas from another car. 571 00:51:18,209 --> 00:51:19,251 How? 572 00:51:20,751 --> 00:51:21,876 We need a hose. 573 00:52:47,584 --> 00:52:48,668 Maik! 574 00:52:54,501 --> 00:52:55,751 Great, what about a hose? 575 00:52:56,876 --> 00:52:57,918 Not a trace. 576 00:53:12,626 --> 00:53:14,043 Get out of here! 577 00:53:16,918 --> 00:53:17,918 What? 578 00:53:18,293 --> 00:53:19,376 You morons! 579 00:53:19,751 --> 00:53:20,793 Are you crazy? 580 00:53:21,168 --> 00:53:22,376 You heard me, moron. 581 00:53:22,751 --> 00:53:24,543 Your friend is a moron too! 582 00:53:25,126 --> 00:53:26,293 Who is that bitch? 583 00:53:26,626 --> 00:53:28,293 You're too dumb to fuck! 584 00:53:28,626 --> 00:53:30,751 Shove it up your ass and shut up! 585 00:53:31,084 --> 00:53:33,001 Fucking Oriental! - I'm Russian! 586 00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:35,751 Russian pansy! - I'm about to come up there! 587 00:53:36,209 --> 00:53:37,251 Come on up, pussy! 588 00:53:37,668 --> 00:53:39,001 Oh, I'm so scared! 589 00:53:39,751 --> 00:53:41,501 She's not right in the head. 590 00:53:43,668 --> 00:53:45,001 What were you looking for? 591 00:53:45,459 --> 00:53:46,751 A pile of shit! 592 00:53:49,876 --> 00:53:51,626 We were looking for hoses. 593 00:53:53,293 --> 00:53:54,584 Hoses are over there. 594 00:54:00,584 --> 00:54:01,793 Hoses! 595 00:54:10,293 --> 00:54:11,876 What do you need it for? 596 00:54:12,293 --> 00:54:14,459 It's a birthday present for my father. 597 00:54:14,918 --> 00:54:18,251 I showed you where the crap was, now tell me why you want it. 598 00:54:19,668 --> 00:54:20,793 We stole a car. 599 00:54:21,168 --> 00:54:22,751 Now we have to steal gas. 600 00:54:23,126 --> 00:54:24,751 For sure, you retards! 601 00:54:25,376 --> 00:54:27,293 Even though I showed you them! 602 00:54:32,251 --> 00:54:34,334 Go ahead, do want you want. 603 00:54:35,834 --> 00:54:37,251 Yo, Maik. 604 00:54:39,959 --> 00:54:40,959 Perfect. 605 00:54:48,376 --> 00:54:50,543 Got anything to eat? - Do we look like we do? 606 00:54:50,918 --> 00:54:52,626 You look like retards! 607 00:54:53,584 --> 00:54:55,209 You're repeating yourself. 608 00:55:05,459 --> 00:55:06,584 I'm hungry. 609 00:55:08,501 --> 00:55:10,168 There's blackberries back there. 610 00:55:12,626 --> 00:55:14,376 I thought you were queer. 611 00:55:14,959 --> 00:55:16,501 Because of the lipstick. 612 00:55:20,959 --> 00:55:22,293 Where are you going? 613 00:55:22,626 --> 00:55:23,626 Wallachia. 614 00:55:24,626 --> 00:55:26,543 I'm going to Prague. It's on the way. 615 00:55:26,918 --> 00:55:28,334 No it's not. 616 00:55:29,376 --> 00:55:30,459 Hey! 617 00:55:32,793 --> 00:55:34,418 Ever notice you stink? 618 00:55:35,001 --> 00:55:37,459 You stink like a pile of shit. Piss off. 619 00:55:51,751 --> 00:55:54,334 You didn't have to tell her she stinks. 620 00:55:54,959 --> 00:55:56,376 I had to say something. 621 00:55:56,918 --> 00:55:58,918 And man, she did stink! 622 00:56:00,334 --> 00:56:03,126 She had pretty eyes, but she was a weirdo. 623 00:56:15,418 --> 00:56:16,418 It's open! - Sweet! 624 00:56:20,418 --> 00:56:21,918 First, suck it. 625 00:56:27,168 --> 00:56:29,334 Ever heard of gravity? It won't flow up! 626 00:56:29,668 --> 00:56:32,918 Once it's started, overall it flows downward. 627 00:56:33,251 --> 00:56:35,209 But the gas doesn't know that! 628 00:56:35,543 --> 00:56:37,043 It's a law of physics. 629 00:56:37,501 --> 00:56:39,501 It's got a name, something force. 630 00:56:39,834 --> 00:56:41,168 The bullcrap force. 631 00:56:41,584 --> 00:56:44,084 You never saw it in a movie? - Yeah, in a movie. 632 00:56:47,334 --> 00:56:48,751 Maybe the tank's empty. 633 00:56:50,793 --> 00:56:52,793 It's wet. There's got to be gas. 634 00:56:54,751 --> 00:56:56,084 Someone's coming. 635 00:56:57,043 --> 00:56:58,126 Let's go. 636 00:57:05,168 --> 00:57:07,084 What are you doing? - Camouflage. 637 00:57:17,668 --> 00:57:18,918 You morons! 638 00:57:19,251 --> 00:57:20,501 Real pros! 639 00:57:20,834 --> 00:57:23,043 Can you shout louder? - Too dumb to fuck! 640 00:57:23,376 --> 00:57:25,751 Ever heard of sucking? - We were sucking! 641 00:57:26,918 --> 00:57:28,126 Give me the hose. 642 00:57:40,293 --> 00:57:42,126 Didn't you ever steal gas in Russia? 643 00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:43,918 No, I didn't, you racist. 644 00:57:44,376 --> 00:57:45,751 Why didn't it work for us? 645 00:57:46,293 --> 00:57:48,293 This has to be below the water level. 646 00:57:48,709 --> 00:57:51,084 Oh, below the water level. - Right. 647 00:57:52,251 --> 00:57:54,793 What water level? - Ask her. 648 00:57:58,709 --> 00:58:01,334 My name's Isa. - Good for you. 649 00:58:02,043 --> 00:58:06,251 Why are you going to Prague? - I have to visit my half-sister. 650 00:58:14,084 --> 00:58:17,251 Too warm? - No, you still stink. 651 00:58:20,959 --> 00:58:22,959 There are things living in there. 652 00:58:25,084 --> 00:58:26,334 I know. 653 00:58:28,209 --> 00:58:29,584 Play this cassette. 654 00:58:48,668 --> 00:58:52,626 Ever notice that a mirror switches left and right, but not up and down? 655 00:58:53,501 --> 00:58:56,001 Yeah, I have noticed that. 656 00:59:56,293 --> 00:59:57,793 Don't even think about it. 657 01:00:20,626 --> 01:00:21,709 Check it out. 658 01:01:29,084 --> 01:01:31,251 She can't swim! - She's acting. 659 01:01:35,043 --> 01:01:36,418 You retards! 660 01:01:37,334 --> 01:01:38,959 Here's a present. Soap! 661 01:01:40,376 --> 01:01:42,376 You've probably never seen that! 662 01:01:42,751 --> 01:01:44,043 I do feel a bit sor... 663 01:01:50,126 --> 01:01:52,334 You're dumber than your boyfriend. 664 01:02:01,918 --> 01:02:03,418 A gentleman swims like this. 665 01:02:17,043 --> 01:02:18,543 Give me soap too. 666 01:02:47,751 --> 01:02:49,084 I'll get us some food. 667 01:03:12,418 --> 01:03:14,001 I want you to cut my hair. 668 01:03:17,834 --> 01:03:19,459 I've never cut hair before. 669 01:03:19,834 --> 01:03:21,626 I don't care. I want it all off. 670 01:03:27,918 --> 01:03:29,501 I don't want a hairy T-shirt. 671 01:04:00,709 --> 01:04:02,084 Looks like crap, right? 672 01:04:03,334 --> 01:04:04,418 It looks good. 673 01:04:20,626 --> 01:04:22,001 Have you ever done it? 674 01:04:23,001 --> 01:04:25,168 What? - You heard me. 675 01:04:25,626 --> 01:04:26,668 No. 676 01:04:30,959 --> 01:04:31,959 And? 677 01:04:33,418 --> 01:04:34,418 And what? 678 01:04:36,834 --> 01:04:37,918 Want to? 679 01:04:39,584 --> 01:04:40,626 Want to what? 680 01:04:47,459 --> 01:04:48,751 But I liked... 681 01:04:51,959 --> 01:04:53,251 your hand on my knee. 682 01:05:05,084 --> 01:05:06,126 Why? 683 01:05:14,751 --> 01:05:15,959 You're shivering. 684 01:05:17,376 --> 01:05:18,376 I know. 685 01:05:19,709 --> 01:05:20,959 You don't know much. 686 01:05:22,459 --> 01:05:23,501 I know. 687 01:05:28,543 --> 01:05:30,126 We could just make out. 688 01:05:30,834 --> 01:05:31,876 If you want. 689 01:05:44,959 --> 01:05:46,501 Do you like sausages? 690 01:06:20,251 --> 01:06:21,668 What are we doing here? 691 01:06:22,043 --> 01:06:23,334 Taking a vacation. 692 01:06:23,668 --> 01:06:25,376 Just like normal people do. 693 01:06:36,668 --> 01:06:38,501 It's just like "Game of Thrones." 694 01:06:38,834 --> 01:06:40,293 The handrails ruin it. 695 01:06:57,584 --> 01:06:58,959 Here's the oldest one. 696 01:06:59,501 --> 01:07:00,793 Anselm Wail, 697 01:07:01,459 --> 01:07:02,459 1906. 698 01:07:03,584 --> 01:07:04,626 All dead. 699 01:07:05,709 --> 01:07:07,376 Like us in a hundred years. 700 01:07:41,001 --> 01:07:44,876 AT, MK, IS... I like it. - I like it too. 701 01:07:45,626 --> 01:07:48,418 Someone just needs to scratch in some letters, 702 01:07:49,543 --> 01:07:51,834 then it'll be "Atomic Crisis of 2016." 703 01:07:54,293 --> 01:07:57,209 Let's cut our fingers, and smear our blood on it. 704 01:07:58,126 --> 01:07:59,751 Are you Geronimo now? 705 01:08:00,084 --> 01:08:01,834 No, dude, I'm a Jewish Gypsy. 706 01:08:14,584 --> 01:08:17,251 PRAGUE EXPRESS 707 01:08:26,334 --> 01:08:28,668 What's she up to? - I don't know. 708 01:08:30,709 --> 01:08:32,084 Do you have 30 euros? 709 01:08:32,418 --> 01:08:34,459 I'll send it to you, I swear! 710 01:08:34,918 --> 01:08:36,543 My half-sister has money. 711 01:08:58,418 --> 01:09:00,084 I'll never make it with you guys. 712 01:09:27,293 --> 01:09:29,626 You didn't fall in love again, did you? 713 01:09:31,334 --> 01:09:32,668 Seriously, though, 714 01:09:33,418 --> 01:09:35,834 you have a way with women. 715 01:09:36,668 --> 01:09:38,251 Or what's the phrase? 716 01:09:49,668 --> 01:09:50,918 It was all too quick. 717 01:09:51,251 --> 01:09:53,626 And we're singing in the fallout shelter, 718 01:09:54,209 --> 01:09:56,293 Hurrah, this world goes helter skelter! 719 01:09:57,209 --> 01:09:59,126 Hurrah, this world goes helter skelter! 720 01:09:59,626 --> 01:10:00,793 Am I seeing things? 721 01:10:04,043 --> 01:10:05,126 They're real! 722 01:10:06,043 --> 01:10:07,043 Tschick! 723 01:11:03,418 --> 01:11:04,876 I'm not sure about this. 724 01:11:05,501 --> 01:11:06,918 I'm not driving back. 725 01:11:24,001 --> 01:11:26,251 Here we go, here we go! 726 01:11:29,751 --> 01:11:30,959 Tschick! Look out! 727 01:12:07,626 --> 01:12:08,626 Are you hurt? 728 01:12:14,709 --> 01:12:15,959 What happened? 729 01:12:45,043 --> 01:12:46,334 I can't drive like this. 730 01:12:48,709 --> 01:12:50,376 That's it then, we're done. 731 01:12:52,293 --> 01:12:55,251 No way. You drive. - Have you lost your mind? 732 01:12:55,793 --> 01:12:58,418 You just hit the gas and steer. I'll shift. 733 01:12:58,793 --> 01:13:00,626 No, man. - Why not? 734 01:13:01,251 --> 01:13:02,543 I'm a coward. 735 01:13:04,168 --> 01:13:05,793 I'm a coward and I'm boring. 736 01:13:08,209 --> 01:13:10,209 I haven't been bored with you. 737 01:13:10,543 --> 01:13:13,918 Not you, but Tatjana didn't even invite me to her stupid party. 738 01:13:14,293 --> 01:13:15,543 You know what? 739 01:13:16,376 --> 01:13:18,668 Compared to Isa, Tatjana is brain dead. 740 01:13:21,918 --> 01:13:23,001 I can tell, 741 01:13:25,834 --> 01:13:27,001 because... 742 01:13:29,543 --> 01:13:31,209 I don't like girls. 743 01:13:38,751 --> 01:13:40,584 I never told anybody that before. 744 01:13:43,501 --> 01:13:47,001 Think of me what you please, but I wasn't particularly surprised. 745 01:13:48,251 --> 01:13:51,376 For a moment I even thought about becoming gay myself. 746 01:13:51,751 --> 01:13:52,793 Give me my shoe. 747 01:13:54,084 --> 01:13:56,209 That would have solved all my problems. 748 01:13:56,751 --> 01:13:59,293 But I couldn't. I just liked girls too much. 749 01:14:10,209 --> 01:14:12,834 Just step on the clutch, left pedal. 750 01:14:16,209 --> 01:14:18,918 Careful, let it up slowly. 751 01:14:22,209 --> 01:14:23,293 Super, actually. 752 01:14:24,209 --> 01:14:25,584 Let's try again. 753 01:14:29,126 --> 01:14:30,668 Careful, careful. 754 01:14:31,001 --> 01:14:32,418 Not too much gas. 755 01:14:32,751 --> 01:14:34,418 Let the clutch up slowly. 756 01:14:36,334 --> 01:14:38,001 A little gas, that's right. 757 01:14:39,001 --> 01:14:40,001 That's right. 758 01:14:40,459 --> 01:14:41,918 Go, give it some gas. 759 01:14:42,584 --> 01:14:43,793 Yeah, nice. 760 01:15:02,376 --> 01:15:03,376 Yes! 761 01:15:04,168 --> 01:15:06,126 Nicely done, you coward! 762 01:15:42,376 --> 01:15:43,668 What a shitty life. 763 01:15:46,668 --> 01:15:48,084 What a fucking idiot! 764 01:15:48,501 --> 01:15:49,584 Pass him! 765 01:15:59,126 --> 01:16:00,251 Pass on the right! 766 01:16:08,501 --> 01:16:09,626 Is he nuts? 767 01:16:11,959 --> 01:16:14,043 Should I try the emergency lane? 768 01:16:14,376 --> 01:16:17,251 If you think you can. - Yeah, just like "GTA." 769 01:17:09,084 --> 01:17:10,209 So much for that. 770 01:17:11,168 --> 01:17:12,501 You pigs! 771 01:17:13,001 --> 01:17:15,543 I'm going to get you! 772 01:17:16,293 --> 01:17:18,001 When I get my hands on you... 773 01:17:18,918 --> 01:17:19,959 Are you okay? 774 01:17:24,918 --> 01:17:25,918 Yeah. 775 01:17:26,543 --> 01:17:27,543 And you? 776 01:17:30,751 --> 01:17:32,126 I think I cut myself. 777 01:17:36,001 --> 01:17:37,209 Help! 778 01:17:38,293 --> 01:17:39,709 Help! 779 01:17:44,376 --> 01:17:45,376 Maik. 780 01:17:46,418 --> 01:17:47,418 I have to go. 781 01:17:47,751 --> 01:17:49,918 Or they'll put me in an orphanage. 782 01:17:57,501 --> 01:17:58,501 Tschick! 783 01:18:16,959 --> 01:18:18,251 Take it. It'll get cold. 784 01:18:35,584 --> 01:18:36,876 See you later. 785 01:18:41,793 --> 01:18:43,168 Kick-ass jacket. 786 01:18:59,501 --> 01:19:01,709 Klingenberg, Maik. 787 01:19:02,751 --> 01:19:03,751 Maik with A I. 788 01:19:05,543 --> 01:19:08,293 Date of birth? - 14 May 2002. 789 01:19:10,918 --> 01:19:12,251 I'm only 14. 790 01:19:13,001 --> 01:19:14,501 I'm quite able to count. 791 01:19:14,959 --> 01:19:17,918 I'm not criminally accountable yet. - Oh, yes you are. 792 01:19:18,501 --> 01:19:19,834 At 14 you are. 793 01:19:20,501 --> 01:19:21,751 I thought it was 15. 794 01:19:22,793 --> 01:19:24,459 Nope, it's 14. 795 01:19:25,084 --> 01:19:26,626 15 is just baloney. 796 01:19:27,126 --> 01:19:28,418 Good morning. - Morning. 797 01:19:30,334 --> 01:19:31,459 Where do you live? 798 01:19:34,918 --> 01:19:35,918 Maik? 799 01:19:37,668 --> 01:19:38,668 Say something! 800 01:19:39,043 --> 01:19:41,126 What? I said, yes! 801 01:19:41,459 --> 01:19:42,543 Yes, I got it! 802 01:19:42,918 --> 01:19:45,459 You don't get a thing, you idiot! - I'm not an idiot. 803 01:19:45,834 --> 01:19:47,584 I know we screwed up. 804 01:19:47,918 --> 01:19:49,876 No, your Russian buddy screwed up! 805 01:19:50,418 --> 01:19:53,418 That antisocial asshole, he screwed up! 806 01:19:54,126 --> 01:19:56,501 You're too dumb to adjust a rearview mirror. 807 01:19:56,834 --> 01:19:58,001 Josef. 808 01:20:01,418 --> 01:20:02,709 Now listen to me. 809 01:20:03,084 --> 01:20:05,543 You keep your mouth shut at the hearing. 810 01:20:05,918 --> 01:20:08,709 The lawyer will tell the judge exactly what happened. 811 01:20:09,209 --> 01:20:11,626 Andrej Tschichatschow, "Tschick," 812 01:20:12,084 --> 01:20:14,209 fled and is therefore guilty. 813 01:20:14,626 --> 01:20:17,209 Stealing the car was his idea. 814 01:20:17,543 --> 01:20:20,584 He was also at the wheel when the accident occurred. 815 01:20:21,751 --> 01:20:25,043 My client went along because he was afraid of Andrej. 816 01:20:32,918 --> 01:20:34,334 That's not true. 817 01:20:34,834 --> 01:20:36,168 Maik, sit down. 818 01:20:37,751 --> 01:20:40,334 We both decided to drive off with the Lada. 819 01:20:42,293 --> 01:20:43,959 And I was driving on the autobahn. 820 01:20:44,293 --> 01:20:45,584 Stop this crap! 821 01:20:45,918 --> 01:20:47,251 Order, Herr Klingenberg, 822 01:20:47,751 --> 01:20:49,543 I'll ask if I want to hear from you. 823 01:20:50,793 --> 01:20:52,001 Sit down, please. 824 01:20:55,918 --> 01:20:59,418 Maik. Is that the truth? 825 01:21:05,459 --> 01:21:06,543 Yes, Your Honor. 826 01:21:19,793 --> 01:21:22,418 At school they tell us violence is never the answer. 827 01:21:23,043 --> 01:21:24,251 Bullshit. 828 01:21:25,043 --> 01:21:26,334 Josef! 829 01:21:30,834 --> 01:21:32,876 When you get sucker punched like that 830 01:21:33,251 --> 01:21:35,293 you know damn well it's an answer. 831 01:21:37,251 --> 01:21:38,293 Holy bejoly. 832 01:22:09,501 --> 01:22:12,126 I thought about how things would be. 833 01:22:12,834 --> 01:22:14,751 How long we'd live in this house, 834 01:22:15,501 --> 01:22:17,543 how long my parents would stay married, 835 01:22:18,126 --> 01:22:20,418 if my father would have kids with Mona... 836 01:22:42,918 --> 01:22:46,626 What are you doing, mom? - Look at all this shit! 837 01:22:57,501 --> 01:22:58,626 Give me a hand. 838 01:23:29,668 --> 01:23:32,668 I know exactly what I thought as I held my breath under water. 839 01:23:33,668 --> 01:23:37,293 I thought there were a lot worse things than having an alcoholic mother. 840 01:23:37,626 --> 01:23:39,126 Or that father's gone. 841 01:23:40,918 --> 01:23:43,001 Because you can't hold your breath forever, 842 01:23:43,334 --> 01:23:44,751 but for a pretty long time. 843 01:23:52,001 --> 01:23:55,418 And that was the summer. School started again. 844 01:24:06,626 --> 01:24:07,626 Can we talk? 845 01:24:08,918 --> 01:24:11,459 I have to get to school. It's the first day back. 846 01:24:11,793 --> 01:24:12,918 We'll take you. 847 01:24:14,751 --> 01:24:16,376 Do you know Andrej Tschichatschow? 848 01:24:16,709 --> 01:24:19,168 He's my friend. - Where is he? 849 01:24:19,626 --> 01:24:20,626 No idea. 850 01:24:23,709 --> 01:24:24,834 What happened? 851 01:24:25,168 --> 01:24:26,668 A Lada was stolen. 852 01:24:28,126 --> 01:24:30,418 The day before yesterday, hot-wired. 853 01:24:30,751 --> 01:24:32,709 Found it last night, totaled. 854 01:24:33,626 --> 01:24:35,918 I got nothing to do with that, officer. 855 01:24:36,334 --> 01:24:39,251 I'm doing civil service with the retards all day. 856 01:24:39,584 --> 01:24:41,084 Evenings I'm with my mom. 857 01:24:43,168 --> 01:24:44,668 That bowled me over. 858 01:24:45,293 --> 01:24:47,376 Tschick could have written a letter. 859 01:24:47,709 --> 01:24:50,001 But to total a Lada just to drop me a line, 860 01:24:50,293 --> 01:24:51,751 what an idea! 861 01:25:07,751 --> 01:25:09,001 Is that Maik Klingenberg? 862 01:25:15,001 --> 01:25:16,293 What happened to him? 863 01:25:42,043 --> 01:25:44,376 ...as well as the Pythagorean Theorem. 864 01:25:44,918 --> 01:25:48,001 Geometry and geometric forms, 865 01:25:48,626 --> 01:25:49,626 volumes, 866 01:25:50,001 --> 01:25:52,668 surfaces, bodies, angles... 867 01:25:53,293 --> 01:25:55,126 symmetries... 868 01:25:55,501 --> 01:25:57,543 Hey, it's for you. 869 01:26:03,126 --> 01:26:05,834 Where were you this summer? - Tatjana. 870 01:26:07,084 --> 01:26:08,251 She had seen me. 871 01:26:09,084 --> 01:26:11,168 Tatjana Cosic had finally seen me. 872 01:26:13,168 --> 01:26:15,543 Before this summer I'd have jumped for joy. 873 01:26:17,584 --> 01:26:19,584 But strangely, now I didn't care. 874 01:26:19,959 --> 01:26:21,834 In the boondocks. 875 01:26:30,876 --> 01:26:32,918 The only thing I cared about 876 01:26:33,251 --> 01:26:34,751 was seeing Tschick again. 877 01:26:35,793 --> 01:26:39,168 I thought without Tschick I never would have had the summer we did, 878 01:26:39,501 --> 01:26:41,418 and that it was a cool summer. 879 01:26:42,418 --> 01:26:43,793 The best summer ever. 880 01:26:44,126 --> 01:26:47,751 AT, MK, IS... I like it. - I like it too. 881 01:26:48,251 --> 01:26:51,084 Someone just needs to scratch in some letters, 882 01:26:51,793 --> 01:26:53,709 then it'll be "Atomic Crisis of 2016." 883 01:26:54,126 --> 01:26:56,626 I was so excited to see Tschick again soon. 884 01:26:57,043 --> 01:26:58,126 Tschick and Isa. 885 01:26:58,793 --> 01:27:01,459 If not next week, maybe a little later. 886 01:27:01,793 --> 01:27:03,418 'Cause, I almost forgot this part: 887 01:27:03,918 --> 01:27:06,418 Let's meet up in 50 years at this exact spot. 888 01:27:07,334 --> 01:27:09,918 On 28 July 2066. 889 01:27:11,959 --> 01:27:13,543 Whatever we're doing then. 890 01:27:15,793 --> 01:27:16,918 Or is that stupid? 891 01:27:21,543 --> 01:27:22,543 No. 892 01:27:23,751 --> 01:27:24,959 We'll be here. 893 01:29:11,293 --> 01:29:14,626 sense-less 60320

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