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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:42,286 $17.52. 2 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,619 That settles my back taxes for '59 and '60. 3 00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:47,285 - That does it. - Gougers, all of you. 4 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,955 - Gougers! - Don't tell it to me. I make 60 bucks a week here. 5 00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:55,193 - Go ahead, lady. I can wait. - Oh, thank you. 6 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,500 Is this where you give the money in? 7 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,807 Excuse me. Is this where you give the money in? 8 00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:09,741 Let me see your form, miss. 9 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:13,877 I mean, did you make out a form? I mean, where are your papers? 10 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:18,083 Oh. This is the only paper that I thought was necessary. 11 00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:22,753 Oh, I can't take your check without the regular 1040 form. 12 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:26,595 It's to be sure it's the correct amount according to your return. 13 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,294 Well, this isn't according to any return. It's just money. 14 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,303 I wanna give it to the government. 15 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,305 Well, this is very irregular. 16 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:37,070 First of all, this is the Department of Internal Revenue and... 17 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,623 Oh, I get it. 18 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,852 April fool. Next! 19 00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,951 - No, please. - Next! 20 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,629 And... And I went to see the head clerk... 21 00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:08,401 and then the assistant to the Secretary of Treasury... 22 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,068 and then the Secretary of Treasury... 23 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,078 But... 24 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,411 but when I insisted on seeing the president... 25 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,713 they insisted I come to see you! 26 00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,720 Dr. Svenson... 27 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:23,915 do you think I'm crazy too? 28 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,960 The... The name is "Steffanson"... 29 00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:31,087 Victor Steffanson... 30 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,133 and, um... and we never use that word around here. 31 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,933 Now, Mrs. Benson, you just take one of these and try to relax. Here. 32 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,939 You know, Mrs... 33 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,771 Aaah! Pink! 34 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,572 Pink. They're pink pills! 35 00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:49,342 - My husband was pink! I can't take a pink pill! - Ju-Just crunch it. 36 00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:53,681 Crunch it right down. Th-That's right. That's right. 37 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:02,893 Uh, Mrs. Benson... 38 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:06,796 You are obviously the victim of some inner disturbance... 39 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,232 in which, well, for the want of a better word... 40 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:12,738 your guilts have led you to a state of fantasy... 41 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,898 in which, um, "A," 42 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:18,239 you are burdened with some fantastic wealth... 43 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,405 and... and "B," you are eager to rid yourself of it... 44 00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:26,248 as in the ancient ritual of exorcising some dybbuk or, uh, evil spirit. 45 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,413 - Now, now, now, now. Now, this is normal. 46 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,923 Excuse me. 47 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,262 Yes. Please don't... What? 48 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,264 Oh, yes. Put him on, please. 49 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:42,028 Oh, hello, Fred. Uh-huh. You investigated. And? 50 00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:47,539 F- Fred. Th-The check is good? 51 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,368 Uh-huh. Yes. 52 00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:55,380 Uh-huh. Thank you, Fred. 53 00:06:57,450 --> 00:07:01,614 I have the strangest tingling sensation in my... 54 00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,678 my toes. 55 00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,820 Are you all right? 56 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:10,328 What? 57 00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:14,332 - Uh, w-what happened? - Well, "A," you fainted and "B," I poured water on you. 58 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,096 I'm terribly sorry, but I didn't know what else to do. 59 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:21,231 No, it-it's all right. You did the right thing. 60 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:23,400 Um, do you faint often? 61 00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,569 Oh, just once in a while. 62 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:29,706 It's the shock of realization whenever I've been dead wrong about something. 63 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,444 The fainting is, um, running away, as it were... 64 00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:34,748 from the reality that I'm not... 65 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,585 I'm not infallible. 66 00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:41,093 Y- You see, it's been the pattern of my life... 67 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,651 from the time I was a... 68 00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,129 Wait a minute. What is this? 69 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,532 Who's doing what to who... or whom? 70 00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:52,662 Mrs. Benson, you are a young woman... 71 00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:57,437 who is apparently worth in the neighborhood of... $200 million! 72 00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,377 And for some incredible reason, you wanna give it to the government! 73 00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:03,904 Y- You don't need a psychiatrist. You need your head examined. 74 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,213 - Now, out of my office! Out! - No, Dr. Steffanson. 75 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,378 - Out of my office! - You said something a minute ago... 76 00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:10,718 that was very understanding and true. 77 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:14,726 I never heard it expressed before. But I want your help. 78 00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,955 - Mrs... - Oh, please! 79 00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:18,997 Ah, yes. 80 00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:23,229 Yes, the oath I took forbids me to turn away from a cry for help. 81 00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,236 S- Sit down, Mrs. Benson. 82 00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:31,399 Oh! It was what you said about my wanting to get rid of my money... 83 00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:33,741 like exorcising some evil spirit. 84 00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,906 - Ah, yes. - Dr. Steffanson. 85 00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:38,917 - Mm-hmm? - I think I may be some kind of a witch. 86 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,919 Oh-ho-ho. Come, come now, Mrs. Benson. 87 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,080 This is the 19th centur... er, uh, 20th century. 88 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:47,649 No! Really! Every man whose life I touch withers. 89 00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,586 Really? Uh, Mrs... 90 00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:56,967 Mrs. Benson, please, just turn over and... and try to relax. 91 00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:03,366 Go right ahead. 92 00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:09,039 Well, I was born Louisa May Foster... 93 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:12,710 in the small town of Crawleyville, Ohio. 94 00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:16,221 Oh, I can't understand it. I never wanted money. 95 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,554 All I ever wanted was to lead a simple life... 96 00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:22,890 with one man to love and to love me. 97 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:26,261 A simple life somewhere in a little cottage... 98 00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:30,894 that's all I ever wanted ever since I was a little girl with my mother and father. 99 00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,336 Oh, your mother. What was your mother like? 100 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,136 Mother? Well... 101 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:40,804 Mother kept Daddy and me clean, neat as a pin, and took us to church every Sunday. 102 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:45,544 So now I say unto you, love thy neighbor as thyself. 103 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:48,485 'Tis better to give than to receive. 104 00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:53,218 Money is the root of all evil. 105 00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:56,557 Mother even had embroidered these very sentiments... 106 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,427 on samplers for our living room at home. 107 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:03,093 But we were poor, and Mother found it hard to live up to these ideas. 108 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,603 Good day, Mrs. Jenkins. 109 00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:08,105 Sherman, did you see Emily Jenkins? 110 00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,768 That slob smothered in a mink cape. 111 00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:13,141 I hate her guts! 112 00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:15,146 Look what I've got. 113 00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:19,048 Her husband was a shipping clerk 15 years ago, same as you. 114 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:22,713 Now look at him. Look at you. Where's your drive? Where's your ambition? 115 00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:26,588 That's what counts in this world... Success! Money! 116 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:30,823 Success! Money! President of the Nice Fellows Club! 117 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:37,300 Money! Success! Get to the top! 118 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,964 Money! Success! Money! Money, money, money! 119 00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:47,645 As the years went by... 120 00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:50,648 I saw my dear, sweet Daddy dwindle away under this... 121 00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:53,310 till you practically didn't know he was there. 122 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:58,551 I began to understand what Mother really meant by those samplers. 123 00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:10,765 You play your cards right and we'll have more money than we need. 124 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:14,602 But, Mother, money isn't everything! 125 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,268 I know Leonard Crawley owns Crawley's Emporium... 126 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,937 and three quarters of the property in Crawleyville... 127 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:23,675 but I'm not gonna marry him just because he's the richest man in town. 128 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,809 He's a sneak and a bore and a drag... 129 00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:29,446 and, oh, he's been with every girl there is... 130 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,456 and besides, I don't love him! 131 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,618 - There's no such thing as love! - He's a snob! 132 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,492 He's ashamed of you and where we live. 133 00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:40,964 Why, he won't even walk in this house when he comes to call for me. 134 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,968 I wouldn't come in here either, if I didn't have to. 135 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:47,130 Louisa, you turned out real beautiful. 136 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:51,040 You have something to sell. Take a mother's advice. Sell it now! 137 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:58,145 - There's Leonard. You better hurry. - No, I'm not going! 138 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:01,584 How dare you turn down a man like Leonard Crawley! 139 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:04,748 I tell you he has money. You go and get it! 140 00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:09,927 Leonard was waiting. 141 00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:12,122 I thought over everything he had to offer. 142 00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:15,759 The Crawley home, the Crawley stables... 143 00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,803 Crawley's department store... 144 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:20,964 but then there was Leonard himself. 145 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,666 Leonard Crawley was, um... 146 00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,706 Hmm. How shall I say it? 147 00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:31,807 Well, that's not fair, I guess. 148 00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:34,045 He was just Leonard Crawley, son of wealth. 149 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,844 Put 'er right down next to mine, baby. 150 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:40,517 - Gee, I wish I'd said that. - Aw, you can use it anytime you want. 151 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,618 Just give credit to Crawley. 152 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,528 That's more than Crawley ever did for anyone else in this town. 153 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,895 Oh, by the way, you better let your mom know... 154 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,904 that the payment's due on her refrigerator. 155 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,304 Don't let her get the idea that 'cause we're getting married... 156 00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,308 I'm gonna let her off the hook. 157 00:12:57,376 --> 00:13:00,311 Oh, no, no. By the way, she couldn't be your real mother. 158 00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:02,313 She must've been left on your front doorstep... 159 00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:05,248 one stormy night in a cage. 160 00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,410 Why are you so intent on marrying me... 161 00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,080 when it's perfectly obvious I'm indifferent to you... 162 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,317 and all of the so-called advantages you have to offer? 163 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:15,292 That's just it, baby. You're the only girl in town... 164 00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:19,092 who doesn't throw herself in front of me in the mud and scream, "Take me." 165 00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,258 You know, you suggest good breeding. 166 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:23,267 Heaven knows where you got it from. 167 00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:25,599 But, uh, also you'll produce me an heir... 168 00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:27,764 and, uh, then my mother will stop nagging me... 169 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,604 about carrying on the Crawley tradition. 170 00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:33,611 - Any better reason than that for getting married, huh? 171 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,443 - Hmm? - How about love? 172 00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:39,951 Love? Well, let me put it this way, honey. 173 00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:42,453 I'm very rich and you're very poor. 174 00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:45,217 And sooner or later, you're gonna come around. 175 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:48,488 Mm. You know the indifference I felt? 176 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,893 Hmm? 177 00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,954 Well, it's beginning to change. 178 00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:57,969 - It's beginning to blossom into complete contempt. 179 00:13:58,037 --> 00:13:59,971 What'd I tell you, honey? 180 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:02,872 I told you you were gonna come around sooner or later. 181 00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:13,010 I gotta pick up the 6:00 town news from my store manager. 182 00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:15,178 Mm. The Crawley gestapo. 183 00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:17,814 Ohhh, yes. 184 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,125 Huh? Oh, that eyesore. 185 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,957 The only spot in town we don't own. 186 00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:27,760 But it's just a matter of time before old Hopper will come around. 187 00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,662 Just like you, baby. 188 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,172 Good afternoon, Mr. Crawley, Miss Foster. Nice weather we're having. 189 00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:39,177 - All right. Make it fast, Driscoll. - Yes, sir. 190 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:42,442 Mrs. Willoughby was five minutes late getting back from the doctor's today. 191 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:45,415 - Oh. Five dollars fine off her salary. - Yes, sir. 192 00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:48,749 Hopper sent back the answer to your latest bid on his property. 193 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,551 It's still "no." He says he doesn't want to make money. 194 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,592 He just wants to keep his little place as it is. 195 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,593 Edgar Hopper. 196 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:58,255 I haven't run into him since high school. 197 00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:04,229 Hmm. I wonder how many days I'd get for manslaughter. 198 00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:07,397 In Crawleyville, they wouldn't even fine you, sir. 199 00:15:27,659 --> 00:15:30,594 - Hi, Lenny. - Edgar, you better watch where you're going. 200 00:15:30,662 --> 00:15:33,096 Yeah, you're right, Lenny. I was looking at the sun. 201 00:15:33,164 --> 00:15:36,258 - Aren't you angry? - Why should I be angry? It was my fault. 202 00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:39,098 - Then maybe we could fight. - There's no sense in doing that, Lenny. 203 00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:43,106 You'd kick the heck out of me... all that football and golf and tennis and everything. 204 00:15:43,174 --> 00:15:45,267 You're a real winner, Lenny. 205 00:15:45,343 --> 00:15:47,277 What are you, an orthodox coward? 206 00:15:47,345 --> 00:15:50,337 No, Lenny, I just believe in passive resistance. 207 00:15:50,415 --> 00:15:52,349 Oh. A Mahatma Hopper, I presume. 208 00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:56,046 No, as a matter of fact, Gandhi and I both got it from this guy... Henry Thoreau. 209 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,611 You're all covered with mud, Edgar! 210 00:15:58,690 --> 00:16:01,386 Oh. I mean, Mr. Hopper. 211 00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:05,054 Louisa... Louisa Foster, isn't it? 212 00:16:05,129 --> 00:16:07,723 - Mm-hmm. - Hey, I haven't seen you since Mrs. Pritchard's class. 213 00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:10,063 Hey, you've grown... or maybe I shrunk. 214 00:16:10,134 --> 00:16:12,068 He wouldn't be covered with all this mud... 215 00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:14,070 if he'd let the town pave that piece of road... 216 00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:16,072 in front of his property like anybody else. 217 00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:18,074 It costs too much, Lenny. 218 00:16:18,142 --> 00:16:22,078 For what you Crawleys charge for a bag of cement, this town oughta be paved with gold. 219 00:16:22,146 --> 00:16:24,273 Thanks, Lenny. Hey, I gotta be going. 220 00:16:24,349 --> 00:16:27,079 - I don't wanna keep those trout waiting. - See you. 221 00:16:27,151 --> 00:16:30,086 Uh, don't grow any more, Miss Foster. 222 00:16:30,154 --> 00:16:32,782 You're just right now. Good-bye. 223 00:16:32,857 --> 00:16:34,848 Bye. 224 00:17:04,956 --> 00:17:08,392 - Oh! - Hello. Imagine finding you here. 225 00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:10,723 I just happened to be swimming by. 226 00:17:10,795 --> 00:17:12,729 Well, you scared the fish away. 227 00:17:12,797 --> 00:17:16,631 You could pull me in. I am full grown... you said so yourself. 228 00:17:17,635 --> 00:17:20,126 - Thank you. - Sit down. 229 00:17:21,973 --> 00:17:24,066 Here. Put this on. 230 00:17:24,142 --> 00:17:26,576 Thanks. Did you catch any? 231 00:17:26,644 --> 00:17:28,737 Well, yeah. Three, including you. 232 00:17:28,813 --> 00:17:30,906 I'll cook them for you. 233 00:17:30,982 --> 00:17:32,950 My clothes are right down there. 234 00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:35,247 Do you have anything to cook them in? 235 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,756 Well, my baronial estate's right over there. 236 00:17:38,823 --> 00:17:42,259 - Is that where you live? - Yeah. I... 237 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:45,421 It's kind of on the simple side. I know. 238 00:17:45,496 --> 00:17:48,158 Simple. Yes. 239 00:17:48,232 --> 00:17:52,100 "Oh, our lives are frittered away by detail. 240 00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,661 Simplify, simplify." 241 00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:56,673 What did you say? 242 00:17:56,741 --> 00:18:01,201 - "Our lives are frittered away... - "by detail. 243 00:18:01,279 --> 00:18:04,043 Simplify, simplify." 244 00:18:04,115 --> 00:18:06,481 A girl who can quote Thoreau! 245 00:18:06,551 --> 00:18:09,884 Oh, I couldn't quote him before I went to the library this morning. 246 00:18:09,954 --> 00:18:12,388 I'd never even heard of him before yesterday. 247 00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:16,553 Wh... Uh, you mean you didn't swim by my boat just by accident? 248 00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:21,354 No. 249 00:18:21,432 --> 00:18:23,366 Gee. 250 00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:45,089 What is the future Mrs. Leonard Crawley doing here anyway? 251 00:18:45,156 --> 00:18:47,522 Well, now, whatever gave you that idea about me? 252 00:18:47,592 --> 00:18:51,995 Well, I don't know. Everybody in town takes it for granted. 253 00:18:52,063 --> 00:18:53,997 You are engaged to him, aren't you? 254 00:18:54,065 --> 00:18:56,090 Well, he takes it for granted. 255 00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,431 Tsk. Ohhh. 256 00:18:58,503 --> 00:19:01,199 But, Edgar... 257 00:19:01,272 --> 00:19:03,866 as far back as I can remember... 258 00:19:03,941 --> 00:19:06,375 in grammar school, in Mrs. Pritchard's class... 259 00:19:06,444 --> 00:19:08,537 you know, when I sat in front of you? 260 00:19:08,613 --> 00:19:13,107 I wished that I had had long pigtails so you could stick them in the inkwell. 261 00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:15,448 Did you really? 262 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,784 I'm not gonna marry Leonard Crawley. 263 00:19:17,855 --> 00:19:20,790 Of course, he'll never understand anyone turning him down. 264 00:19:22,493 --> 00:19:24,893 Especially for you. 265 00:19:24,962 --> 00:19:28,557 Louisa! You... 266 00:19:28,633 --> 00:19:30,965 You mean you'd take this... 267 00:19:31,035 --> 00:19:33,299 instead of all that? 268 00:19:33,371 --> 00:19:36,204 But, Louisa, I've got... nothing. 269 00:19:36,274 --> 00:19:38,208 I'll... I'll always have nothing. 270 00:19:38,276 --> 00:19:42,576 - I'll always be nothing. - Edgar, that's what I want... nothing. 271 00:19:43,648 --> 00:19:45,912 To quote me and not Thoreau... 272 00:19:45,983 --> 00:19:47,974 I love you. 273 00:19:57,428 --> 00:19:59,453 Oh, Louisa. 274 00:19:59,530 --> 00:20:03,193 I'll make you happy. I'll never work hard. 275 00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:06,134 I'll never make good. I swear it! 276 00:20:08,372 --> 00:20:11,637 It's true, Mother. I've married Edgar Hopper. 277 00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:20,276 Whereas Mother received the news of my marriage to Edgar... 278 00:20:20,351 --> 00:20:22,444 with ill-disguised displeasure... 279 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,182 Leonard took the news in his stride. 280 00:20:34,699 --> 00:20:38,635 For a while, Edgar and I led an idyllic life. 281 00:20:38,703 --> 00:20:41,137 He went off to the store a couple of hours a week... 282 00:20:41,205 --> 00:20:43,639 but the rest of the time belonged to us. 283 00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:48,543 As I look back on it, I see our life together as a wonderful old silent movie. 284 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,027 Oh, I'll have this leak fixed in no time. 285 00:22:46,097 --> 00:22:48,463 Well, that ol' water tank always gave a lot of trouble. 286 00:22:48,532 --> 00:22:50,625 I'm going down to the store one of these days... 287 00:22:50,701 --> 00:22:52,635 and get some chicken wire and fix these springs. 288 00:22:52,703 --> 00:22:56,639 - You can do almost anything with chicken wire. - I sure do love chicken wire. 289 00:22:56,707 --> 00:22:58,971 - Leonard. - If you're thinking of running something up for dinner... 290 00:22:59,043 --> 00:23:00,977 I'd be pleased to stay. 291 00:23:01,045 --> 00:23:02,979 - Hello, Leonard. - Hi. Hi. 292 00:23:03,047 --> 00:23:05,914 If it isn't the happy Hoppers at home. I've been all over the world. 293 00:23:05,983 --> 00:23:08,747 This is the first chance I've had to come over and see you lovebirds. 294 00:23:08,819 --> 00:23:11,253 You know, I saw the Taj Mahal by moonlight, Louisa? 295 00:23:11,322 --> 00:23:13,916 - Hmm. - Oh, but I envy you... here. 296 00:23:13,991 --> 00:23:16,926 - What's that, uh, camera for? - Oh. I'm doing a documentary. 297 00:23:16,994 --> 00:23:19,827 Slum conditions in, uh, Crawleyville. 298 00:23:19,897 --> 00:23:22,092 - Ahhh. - Oh, come now, Leonard. 299 00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:24,100 You needn't be such a sore loser. 300 00:23:24,168 --> 00:23:28,764 Well, you gave me up for all this, and I can understand it, you know? 301 00:23:28,839 --> 00:23:31,433 A nice roof under your feet, rain a-face at night... 302 00:23:32,510 --> 00:23:34,944 all the grass you can eat. 303 00:23:35,012 --> 00:23:38,948 Hey, Leonard, get outta here before I twist your head off like a turnip. 304 00:23:39,016 --> 00:23:41,780 Well, is this the voice of passive resistance speaking? 305 00:23:41,852 --> 00:23:44,787 No, just get out of here. 306 00:23:44,855 --> 00:23:47,949 Oh! Oh, Louisa, you all right? 307 00:23:48,025 --> 00:23:50,994 - Ohhh! - Oh! 308 00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:55,795 Well, another innovation for modern living, huh? 309 00:23:55,866 --> 00:23:58,027 Instant shower for milady. 310 00:23:58,102 --> 00:24:00,570 - Well, well. - I'm afraid I'm not a bit handy, Edgar. 311 00:24:00,638 --> 00:24:02,572 Oh, no, but you are handy. 312 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,904 I could use you at the store doing odd jobs... 313 00:24:04,976 --> 00:24:06,910 and I'd pay you and you could be earning a living. 314 00:24:06,978 --> 00:24:09,572 - My wife doesn't have to work! I'm sorry. - Aaah! 315 00:24:09,647 --> 00:24:12,673 Ohhh. 316 00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:14,684 Uh, let me... 317 00:24:14,752 --> 00:24:17,516 Ed. Seriously, Ed. Why don't you come down this afternoon... 318 00:24:17,588 --> 00:24:19,579 and sell me that piece of property of yours? 319 00:24:19,657 --> 00:24:21,591 Uh, someone could do something with it... 320 00:24:21,659 --> 00:24:23,752 not you, of course, but, uh, someone. 321 00:24:23,828 --> 00:24:26,592 - I said to get outta here. Get outta here! - All right, all right. 322 00:24:26,664 --> 00:24:29,827 I will. I'm gettin' out. Sorry to have barged in on you kids like this... 323 00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:32,164 but I'll send a Christmas basket. 324 00:24:43,681 --> 00:24:45,774 What's the matter, darling? 325 00:24:45,850 --> 00:24:49,286 Oh, nothing. I... think I'll go down to the store... 326 00:24:49,353 --> 00:24:51,287 for a little while this afternoon. 327 00:24:51,355 --> 00:24:53,789 But you were there just 10 days ago! 328 00:24:53,858 --> 00:24:56,622 Well, it's got that chicken wire I want... 329 00:24:56,694 --> 00:24:59,458 and, uh, some nails. 330 00:24:59,530 --> 00:25:02,158 You know, it's end of summer. 331 00:25:02,233 --> 00:25:04,895 People come home from vacation. Somebody might want something. 332 00:25:06,203 --> 00:25:08,433 Uh, well, I'll be back. 333 00:25:12,476 --> 00:25:15,070 But he never really did come back... 334 00:25:15,146 --> 00:25:17,444 not the Edgar Hopper I knew. 335 00:25:18,983 --> 00:25:21,918 When he hadn't returned by the next day, I hurried into town. 336 00:25:21,986 --> 00:25:24,250 Hop, hop into Hopper's. The lowest prices in town. 337 00:25:24,321 --> 00:25:28,087 Unlimited credit. This is the biggest sale in the history of our county. 338 00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:31,094 Don't crawl to Crawley's, folks. Hop, hop to Hopper's. 339 00:25:31,162 --> 00:25:34,188 I guarantee you 10% off because we've no air conditioning. 340 00:25:34,265 --> 00:25:36,495 This is it, folks. Right here on Main Street. 341 00:25:36,567 --> 00:25:39,263 Hop, hop to Hopper's. We undersell everybody. 342 00:25:39,336 --> 00:25:41,327 Come right in, folks. Instant credit. 343 00:25:41,405 --> 00:25:43,999 If we haven't got it, we'll get it for you, folks. 344 00:25:44,075 --> 00:25:46,475 Don't crawl to Crawley's. Hop, hop to Hopper's. 345 00:25:46,544 --> 00:25:49,274 So all you shop... Louisa. 346 00:25:52,016 --> 00:25:55,679 - What is all this? - Hopper's Taj Mahal, honey, and it's all for you. 347 00:25:55,753 --> 00:26:00,315 Listen, Louisa, when that snake rattled into our house, something snapped. 348 00:26:00,391 --> 00:26:02,552 But where have you been? Why didn't you come home? 349 00:26:02,626 --> 00:26:06,323 There you were, mending the roof... my wife! 350 00:26:06,397 --> 00:26:09,662 Hop, hop, hop, you shoppers. Hop to Hopper's. 351 00:26:09,733 --> 00:26:13,294 Honey, I wanna get you things... dresses and things for the house... 352 00:26:13,370 --> 00:26:15,600 - a house! - But I like our house. 353 00:26:15,673 --> 00:26:17,607 What is it that makes a family... 354 00:26:17,675 --> 00:26:20,769 go to the same store over and over and no place else? 355 00:26:20,845 --> 00:26:24,372 Well, I don't know. Free eats, free toys for the kiddies. 356 00:26:24,448 --> 00:26:28,077 That's it! We'll stuff'em and then we'll sell 'em. 357 00:26:28,152 --> 00:26:32,418 - Hop, hop, hop, you shoppers! Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's! 358 00:26:32,490 --> 00:26:34,481 Come on, honey. Let me show you around. 359 00:26:34,558 --> 00:26:38,995 Hey, you kids. Get up on there and keep with the "Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's." 360 00:26:39,063 --> 00:26:40,997 - Eddie, this is wonderful. - Oh, thanks, folks. 361 00:26:41,065 --> 00:26:42,999 - Terrific. - Thanks for coming. 362 00:26:43,067 --> 00:26:45,433 - There's more bargains than that. Okay. - We'll be back, Eddie. 363 00:26:45,503 --> 00:26:47,437 - Some buys, Eddie. - Edgar, uh... 364 00:26:47,505 --> 00:26:50,599 - Congratulations, Eddie. - Oh, thanks. The prices are low, the goods are right... 365 00:26:50,674 --> 00:26:52,608 so come to Hopper's from morn till night. 366 00:26:52,676 --> 00:26:54,940 - We'll be back. - No kidding. We're open till 10:00 every night. 367 00:26:55,012 --> 00:26:57,776 - How's it going there, folks? Those are all on sale. - Oh, great. 368 00:26:57,848 --> 00:27:00,612 - Edgar, when will we ever see each other? - Huh? 369 00:27:00,684 --> 00:27:04,484 Honey, as soon as this thing gets going, we'll have more time together than ever. 370 00:27:04,555 --> 00:27:07,353 But we had all our time together before. 371 00:27:07,424 --> 00:27:09,824 - What about Thoreau? - Thoreau? 372 00:27:09,894 --> 00:27:13,887 You don't want to "keep pace" like all the others. You heard "a different drummer," remember? 373 00:27:13,964 --> 00:27:15,898 Oh, yeah. I hear a different drummer, all right. 374 00:27:15,966 --> 00:27:18,366 And the music I hear says, "Hop, hop, Eddie. 375 00:27:18,435 --> 00:27:20,426 Hop, hop." 376 00:27:23,407 --> 00:27:26,240 Well, it looks like we've got him at last, Driscoll. 377 00:27:26,310 --> 00:27:28,778 Have we? The people seem to be eating it up. 378 00:27:28,846 --> 00:27:31,007 Anybody'll run to look at a freak. 379 00:27:31,081 --> 00:27:34,949 I figure I give him three months and he'll hop, hop himself right into oblivion. 380 00:27:35,019 --> 00:27:37,419 Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's 381 00:27:37,488 --> 00:27:40,082 Hop, hop, hop, hop to Hopper's 382 00:27:40,157 --> 00:27:43,251 Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's, Hop 383 00:27:43,327 --> 00:27:46,922 For-Forgive me, sir, but we really must advertise. 384 00:27:46,997 --> 00:27:49,329 We must, huh? You're fired! 385 00:27:52,002 --> 00:27:55,597 - Merry Christmas and a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year! 386 00:27:57,007 --> 00:27:58,941 Merry Christmas... 387 00:27:59,009 --> 00:28:01,204 and a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year! 388 00:28:02,947 --> 00:28:06,212 - I really bought a lot of stuff. - I think you bought out the store. 389 00:28:06,283 --> 00:28:08,547 And it's no trouble at all, Mrs. Freeman. No trouble. 390 00:28:08,619 --> 00:28:10,553 If you can't leave Hopper's, Hopper's leaves with you. 391 00:28:10,621 --> 00:28:13,215 Hey, Ned, you drop Mrs. Freeman off on your way home, okay? 392 00:28:13,290 --> 00:28:15,224 Okay, boss. 393 00:28:15,292 --> 00:28:18,887 Oh, thank you, Edgar, and Merry Christmas. 394 00:28:18,963 --> 00:28:22,057 - Edgar. - Be right with you, lady. Merry Christmas, Mrs. Freeman! 395 00:28:22,132 --> 00:28:24,066 Edgar. 396 00:28:24,134 --> 00:28:26,568 Oh, hi, honey! Excuse me. I gotta get back. 397 00:28:26,637 --> 00:28:29,401 But, Edgar, aren't you coming home soon? 398 00:28:29,473 --> 00:28:31,907 Ooh, I'm sorry, Louisa. We're staying open till midnight tonight. 399 00:28:31,976 --> 00:28:34,171 - What's the matter? - Nothing. 400 00:28:34,245 --> 00:28:36,577 I'm just a little lonely, that's all. 401 00:28:36,647 --> 00:28:38,808 What? In that big beautiful new house, lonely? 402 00:28:38,882 --> 00:28:42,249 I'm the only one who's ever in it. 403 00:28:42,319 --> 00:28:44,787 Edgar, it's Christmas. 404 00:28:44,855 --> 00:28:47,619 But, yes, and Christmas is business... big business. 405 00:28:47,691 --> 00:28:50,785 You're working entirely too hard, darling. 406 00:28:50,861 --> 00:28:54,092 Honey, by this time next year, we'll be so rich we can take a real vacation. 407 00:28:54,164 --> 00:28:56,598 - Italy? - Italy. 408 00:28:56,667 --> 00:28:59,431 - Merry Christmas! - Besides, what's the matter with work? 409 00:28:59,503 --> 00:29:02,199 - A little hard work never killed anybody. - Merry Christmas... 410 00:29:02,273 --> 00:29:04,468 - Hi there. - And a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year. 411 00:29:17,221 --> 00:29:19,382 Edgar's hard work included hitting out... 412 00:29:19,456 --> 00:29:22,050 with every modern sales device known to man... 413 00:29:22,126 --> 00:29:24,856 - And Crawleyville was his captive audience. 414 00:29:24,928 --> 00:29:26,725 We were millionaires overnight. 415 00:29:27,031 --> 00:29:29,556 Darling, I've checked the hotels in Rome... 416 00:29:29,633 --> 00:29:32,067 and I have the reservations for our vacation. 417 00:29:32,136 --> 00:29:34,400 I'm sorry, honey. That'll have to wait till next year. 418 00:29:34,471 --> 00:29:36,701 - Next year? - Yes, next year. 419 00:29:36,774 --> 00:29:38,742 In the meantime, get yourself a couple of art books... 420 00:29:38,809 --> 00:29:40,743 and a box of spaghetti. 421 00:29:40,811 --> 00:29:44,247 Oh! You liar! You cheat! 422 00:29:44,315 --> 00:29:46,909 - You deceived me! - Deceived you? 423 00:29:46,984 --> 00:29:49,578 What, you think I got a blond tootsie on the side or something? 424 00:29:49,653 --> 00:29:51,587 Oh! I just wish you had! 425 00:29:51,655 --> 00:29:54,089 At least then I'd know you were relaxing! 426 00:29:56,260 --> 00:29:58,854 Ohhh. 427 00:29:58,929 --> 00:30:02,524 Oh! You don't even have any feelings anymore. 428 00:30:02,599 --> 00:30:05,261 When we got married, you promised for better or for worse... 429 00:30:05,336 --> 00:30:08,100 that you'd never make good, that you'd always be nothing! 430 00:30:08,172 --> 00:30:11,938 Well, look at us! We're so rich we never even see each other anymore. 431 00:30:12,009 --> 00:30:16,946 Edgar! You're "frittering away your life in detail. Simplify, simplify." 432 00:30:17,014 --> 00:30:20,950 Simplify schmimmplify! A little hard work never killed anybody. 433 00:30:22,619 --> 00:30:26,190 Edgar was bewitched like the sorcerer's apprentice. 434 00:30:26,323 --> 00:30:29,451 - He couldn't stop. - Get me 300,000 feet of rust-proof chicken wire. 435 00:30:29,526 --> 00:30:31,460 What is with our order... 436 00:30:31,528 --> 00:30:33,894 on the Mother Goose atomic disintegrator kit? 437 00:30:33,964 --> 00:30:39,368 No, make 'em think they can't live without doorknobs that light up in the dark. Think big! 438 00:30:39,436 --> 00:30:42,462 Our musical mop which plays "Let Me Call You Sweetheart, I'm in Love with You," 439 00:30:42,539 --> 00:30:44,473 is a marketing failure. 440 00:30:44,541 --> 00:30:48,068 Get something happier like "Star and Stripes Forever" to guarantee musical mop-up. 441 00:30:48,145 --> 00:30:50,238 So it is just a simple equation! 442 00:30:50,314 --> 00:30:54,478 Service quotient "X" plus condensation-atmospheric quotient "Y"... 443 00:30:54,551 --> 00:30:56,644 plus smile-and-affability quotient "X"... 444 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,314 show in the last three months a sales gain line... 445 00:30:59,389 --> 00:31:01,880 that has hop, hop, hopped right off the lousy board! 446 00:31:01,959 --> 00:31:04,587 In short, boys, we are becoming, by the figures... 447 00:31:04,661 --> 00:31:06,754 the big, bigger, biggest! 448 00:31:09,967 --> 00:31:14,529 Uh, "In re yours of the 23rd, I am impatiently awaiting your order." 449 00:31:14,605 --> 00:31:16,698 Uh, "Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 450 00:31:16,773 --> 00:31:19,833 "There can be no delays. If you insist on delaying, you can always be replaced. 451 00:31:19,910 --> 00:31:21,844 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 452 00:31:21,912 --> 00:31:23,846 "Since your delivery service has not been quick enough... 453 00:31:23,914 --> 00:31:25,848 "we are terminating our agreement with you. 454 00:31:25,916 --> 00:31:27,850 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 455 00:31:27,918 --> 00:31:30,819 "I'd like all those folders rushed out to the entire mailing list by Monday. 456 00:31:30,887 --> 00:31:32,821 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 457 00:31:32,889 --> 00:31:34,914 "Order canceled. We asked you for goods, you gave us promises. 458 00:31:34,992 --> 00:31:37,392 Hastily yours," uh, "Edgar Hopper." 459 00:31:37,461 --> 00:31:40,897 "All the displays in all the branch stores must be changed daily and rotated. 460 00:31:40,964 --> 00:31:42,898 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 461 00:31:42,966 --> 00:31:45,332 "That is my final word on the subject. Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 462 00:31:45,402 --> 00:31:47,802 "I've got to have 10,000 bedsprings at once. 463 00:31:47,871 --> 00:31:50,305 "Hostilely yours, Edgar Haper... Heaver... " uh, "Hop... " 464 00:31:50,374 --> 00:31:52,808 Uh, uh, "Hastily yours, the hop head," 465 00:31:52,876 --> 00:31:55,504 uh, "Hastily yours, the Boss." 466 00:31:55,579 --> 00:31:57,570 All right. I'd like that all in triplicate right away. 467 00:31:57,648 --> 00:32:00,481 Mr. Hopper, no one can work like this. The pace, it's too fast. 468 00:32:00,550 --> 00:32:02,916 W- We're not machines. We're human beings. 469 00:32:02,986 --> 00:32:06,922 There is no place here for anyone who cannot keep up with the pace of modern living. 470 00:32:06,990 --> 00:32:08,981 You are fired. 471 00:32:23,940 --> 00:32:30,570 Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's. Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's. 472 00:33:05,549 --> 00:33:07,779 Yes? It happened! 473 00:33:07,851 --> 00:33:10,945 Get me my house, quick! 474 00:33:11,021 --> 00:33:13,421 You just closed the deal? My wife! Hurry! 475 00:33:13,490 --> 00:33:15,424 Leonard Crawley just handed over the keys. 476 00:33:15,492 --> 00:33:18,086 Louisa. Louisa! Louisa! 477 00:33:20,831 --> 00:33:23,129 - Hello. - Louisa, it happened. 478 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,760 - What's happened? - The next time you walk down Main Street... 479 00:33:25,836 --> 00:33:27,770 there won't be any Crawley's there. 480 00:33:27,838 --> 00:33:29,806 It's gonna say "Hopper's." Louisa, I did it! 481 00:33:29,873 --> 00:33:32,068 I wiped him out! He's through in this town! 482 00:33:32,142 --> 00:33:35,543 I guess that's what you wanted, isn't it? 483 00:33:35,612 --> 00:33:40,208 Oh, I got what I wanted. And I got money, wealth, success, position. 484 00:33:40,283 --> 00:33:43,844 And next year, this town is gonna be called Hopperville. 485 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,184 And how'd I get all these things? Through work. 486 00:33:46,256 --> 00:33:48,781 Just good hard work. 487 00:33:48,859 --> 00:33:51,350 Which all goes to prove... 488 00:33:51,428 --> 00:33:53,953 that a little hard work never killed anybody. 489 00:33:59,536 --> 00:34:02,096 "And outside of the bequest... 490 00:34:02,172 --> 00:34:06,165 "of one roll of chicken wire to Leonard Crawley... 491 00:34:06,243 --> 00:34:09,610 "I bequeath my entire fortune and worldly goods... 492 00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:14,241 to my wife, Louisa May Foster Hopper." 493 00:34:14,317 --> 00:34:17,252 Edgar had left me approximately $2 million... 494 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,254 in cash and securities. 495 00:34:19,322 --> 00:34:23,156 And as Thoreau probably never said, that's a lot of lettuce. 496 00:34:25,462 --> 00:34:27,393 But, uh, my dear... 497 00:34:27,464 --> 00:34:31,400 you... you mustn't think that this, in any way, makes you a witch. 498 00:34:31,468 --> 00:34:34,869 Oh, of course, it is tragic that Edgar died... 499 00:34:34,938 --> 00:34:37,270 but one swallow doesn't make a summer. 500 00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:40,776 Your, uh, behavior sounds exemplary to say the least, the very least. 501 00:34:40,844 --> 00:34:45,440 Oh, why did Edgar change that way? 502 00:34:45,515 --> 00:34:48,916 Oh, normal. Quite normal. 503 00:34:48,985 --> 00:34:51,954 You see, he was the, uh... the weakest of the tribe... 504 00:34:52,022 --> 00:34:54,616 who had somehow won the prize... you... 505 00:34:54,691 --> 00:34:56,784 without really having had to fight for you. 506 00:34:56,860 --> 00:34:58,953 Uh, latent feelings of inadequacy lay dormant... 507 00:34:59,029 --> 00:35:03,659 until he was triggered by Leonard parading before you in his rich, many-colored feathers. 508 00:35:03,733 --> 00:35:08,397 Edgar, naturally, felt impelled to get even more feathers... 509 00:35:08,472 --> 00:35:12,909 and driven by this ego drive, he smothered in his own, uh, feathers. 510 00:35:12,976 --> 00:35:15,911 It happens every day, you know. 511 00:35:15,979 --> 00:35:19,278 Tell me, um, what happened to the other feather... 512 00:35:19,349 --> 00:35:22,216 or, uh, fellow, this, uh, Leonard? 513 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,584 I never heard from him again. 514 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,820 - Dr. Steffanson... Aaah! Aaah! - Oh! 515 00:35:33,897 --> 00:35:36,058 Oh! Oh! Louisa! 516 00:35:36,132 --> 00:35:38,999 I'm sorry. Just relax! Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 517 00:35:41,238 --> 00:35:45,436 There. Now, please, please, ju-just relax. 518 00:35:45,509 --> 00:35:47,443 - Mm. Yes. - Try to relax. 519 00:35:47,511 --> 00:35:50,605 Uh, y-you were saying about, uh, Leonard. Leonard. 520 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,615 W- Where did Leonard go? 521 00:35:53,683 --> 00:35:56,243 Uh, well... 522 00:35:57,454 --> 00:35:59,786 he just walked away like a plucked chicken. 523 00:35:59,856 --> 00:36:02,882 Uh-huh. Normal. Quite... Quite normal. 524 00:36:02,959 --> 00:36:06,486 Yeah. Well, I... 525 00:36:06,563 --> 00:36:09,464 I put all the money in the bank and... 526 00:36:09,533 --> 00:36:12,024 - I gave the house to Mama. - Uh-huh. 527 00:36:12,102 --> 00:36:16,766 Then I took a small allowance for myself and I got out of Crawleyville. 528 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,774 Mm-hmm. 529 00:36:18,842 --> 00:36:23,245 I took a trip to Europe alone, to Paris. 530 00:36:23,313 --> 00:36:25,247 I wanted to forget... 531 00:36:25,315 --> 00:36:29,149 and I was determined never to marry again. 532 00:36:47,504 --> 00:36:50,098 The bus tours were thrilling and exhausting. 533 00:37:04,454 --> 00:37:06,718 Place de la, uh... 534 00:37:06,790 --> 00:37:09,054 des jardins de... 535 00:37:09,125 --> 00:37:11,218 Ohhh. 536 00:37:11,294 --> 00:37:14,786 - "Est-ce que... " - I ain't got all day, lady. Where do you wanna go? 537 00:37:14,864 --> 00:37:19,426 - Oh. You speak English. - All of us foreigners do. It's compulsory. 538 00:37:19,502 --> 00:37:22,437 You American? 539 00:37:22,505 --> 00:37:25,269 Nah, lady, I'm a Russian spy for the C.I.A. 540 00:37:25,342 --> 00:37:27,276 Well, what'll it be, huh... 541 00:37:27,344 --> 00:37:30,074 go to the American ghetto at the bar at the Georges Cinq... 542 00:37:30,146 --> 00:37:32,410 or go visit some of your phony friends... 543 00:37:32,482 --> 00:37:34,677 learning about life at Les Deux Magots? 544 00:37:36,820 --> 00:37:41,553 Well, frankly, I'd like to do either, but, uh, I don't know anybody here. 545 00:38:05,482 --> 00:38:07,450 Well? 546 00:38:07,517 --> 00:38:10,213 Oh. Well. 547 00:38:10,286 --> 00:38:13,255 Uh, well, I think I'd like to see some more pictures. 548 00:38:13,323 --> 00:38:15,883 I've just been through the Louvre, and that was wonderful. 549 00:38:15,959 --> 00:38:19,554 The Louvre. Now, what is that? It's the garbage pail of the arts. 550 00:38:19,629 --> 00:38:21,563 Et vous! Allez, allez! 551 00:38:21,631 --> 00:38:23,565 D�marrez! 552 00:38:23,633 --> 00:38:27,399 Well, uh, how about the show at the Galeries Lafayette? 553 00:38:27,470 --> 00:38:29,404 That's a department store, lady... 554 00:38:29,472 --> 00:38:32,236 but I'd rather hang up one of their face towels than some of that other junk. 555 00:38:32,308 --> 00:38:35,243 Listen, I'm sure you're an expert taxi driver... 556 00:38:35,311 --> 00:38:37,336 and I don't mean to belittle your profession... 557 00:38:37,414 --> 00:38:39,348 but why should I listen to your opinion on art? 558 00:38:40,984 --> 00:38:44,078 Because I happen to be one of five people today... 559 00:38:44,154 --> 00:38:46,088 who could definitely be called an artist. 560 00:38:46,156 --> 00:38:48,852 Maybe six, including Frieda. 561 00:38:48,925 --> 00:38:53,385 - Who's Frieda? - A chimpanzee on my block. 562 00:38:55,932 --> 00:38:58,423 Oh, that's great. That's great. 563 00:38:58,501 --> 00:39:00,799 I mean, you see a technique like that, it just wipes you out. 564 00:39:00,870 --> 00:39:03,430 - I go ape! - Uh, what is it? 565 00:39:03,506 --> 00:39:05,531 What is it? Innocence! 566 00:39:05,608 --> 00:39:09,066 Van Gogh had it, but, uh, then he had to chop his ear off... 567 00:39:09,145 --> 00:39:11,079 in order to free himself. 568 00:39:11,147 --> 00:39:14,708 - Free himself from what? - Intellectual hang-up. 569 00:39:14,784 --> 00:39:17,252 You know, if we could all do that, go back to a life like that... 570 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,254 uncluttered, unhung... 571 00:39:19,322 --> 00:39:21,984 simple. 572 00:39:22,058 --> 00:39:25,494 - Oh. - Well, Frieda had the best teacher in the world, you know. 573 00:39:25,562 --> 00:39:27,757 - Rene Carrere there. - Ohhh. 574 00:39:27,831 --> 00:39:31,631 I'm very happy to meet you, Mr. Carrere. I'm Louisa May Hopper. 575 00:39:31,701 --> 00:39:37,071 You don't look anything like the Emile Desjardins it said you are in your cab. 576 00:39:37,140 --> 00:39:39,404 The name is Larry Flint. 577 00:39:39,476 --> 00:39:43,276 I just take Emile's cab out for him once a year... the day his wife has a baby. 578 00:39:43,346 --> 00:39:45,473 Frieda is finished now. 579 00:39:46,483 --> 00:39:48,781 It's a masterpiece! 580 00:39:48,852 --> 00:39:51,980 Boy! Look at the line! 581 00:39:52,055 --> 00:39:55,286 And the color and the sweep and the texture. 582 00:39:55,358 --> 00:39:57,883 Marvelous! 583 00:39:58,928 --> 00:40:01,260 A testament to the human spirit! 584 00:40:01,331 --> 00:40:03,925 Total primitive articulation! 585 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,764 - Mwah! - Does Frieda's work sell? 586 00:40:06,836 --> 00:40:10,101 Sell? You think Frieda cares whether her work sells? 587 00:40:10,173 --> 00:40:12,107 You think I care whether my work sells? 588 00:40:12,175 --> 00:40:15,508 Typical American yardstick... the eternal buck! That's why I left the place. 589 00:40:15,578 --> 00:40:18,604 Well, Mr. Flint, I was only asking. Um... 590 00:40:18,681 --> 00:40:21,115 Aaah! What's that? 591 00:40:21,184 --> 00:40:23,846 She's at it again. 592 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,320 Aaah! Well, is someone being murdered? Aaah! 593 00:40:26,389 --> 00:40:28,323 Are we going to the police? 594 00:40:31,027 --> 00:40:33,359 Hey, Larry. She shot three already! 595 00:40:38,735 --> 00:40:40,726 Hey, Polly, you're working again. 596 00:40:40,804 --> 00:40:43,136 Yeah. For weeks I thought I couldn't paint again... 597 00:40:43,206 --> 00:40:45,538 and now, suddenly, it's all come back! 598 00:40:50,747 --> 00:40:53,307 One of the greats. 599 00:40:53,383 --> 00:40:55,681 Ugh! That picture makes me sick! 600 00:40:55,752 --> 00:40:57,686 Well, thank you. Thank you very much. 601 00:40:57,754 --> 00:40:59,813 Good. Feel sick. It should make you feel sick. 602 00:40:59,889 --> 00:41:01,823 It's destruction, pure and simple. 603 00:41:01,891 --> 00:41:05,088 That's what today is all about. That technique is her way of expressing it. 604 00:41:05,161 --> 00:41:08,858 Ugh! Aaah! 605 00:41:08,932 --> 00:41:12,925 What was I doing in Paris 4,500 miles away from home? 606 00:41:13,002 --> 00:41:16,267 It was fate. I had come to meet Larry Flint... 607 00:41:16,339 --> 00:41:18,432 an unspoiled, dedicated artist... 608 00:41:18,508 --> 00:41:21,944 searching in his own troubled way for the simple life. 609 00:41:22,011 --> 00:41:24,844 Suddenly, I knew I wanted to share that life. 610 00:41:26,816 --> 00:41:29,546 Well, I never did go back to the Ritz. 611 00:41:29,619 --> 00:41:31,553 I'll never forget the wedding. 612 00:41:31,621 --> 00:41:34,283 Frieda made a lovely bridesmaid. 613 00:41:34,357 --> 00:41:37,121 As a matter of fact, she caught the bridal bouquet and ate it. 614 00:41:39,329 --> 00:41:42,958 For a while, Larry and I led an idyllic life. 615 00:41:43,032 --> 00:41:47,594 As I look back on it, it all seems like one of those wickedly romantic French movies. 616 00:42:18,368 --> 00:42:21,997 To your health, Louisa! 617 00:43:01,577 --> 00:43:04,045 - Louisa! - Louisa! 618 00:44:06,108 --> 00:44:09,168 The rest of the time, I kept house. 619 00:44:09,244 --> 00:44:11,644 Ah, la vie de Boh�me! 620 00:44:11,714 --> 00:44:13,909 Le sacrifice d'amour. 621 00:44:28,330 --> 00:44:31,731 - This week's dinner. - Oh, darling! 622 00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,200 Beautiful! 623 00:44:34,269 --> 00:44:37,261 - How did you... - Opus 752. 624 00:44:37,339 --> 00:44:41,275 But, darling, that's one of your most beautiful paintings. 625 00:44:41,343 --> 00:44:43,277 Well, we can see it anytime we go to the butcher shop. 626 00:44:43,345 --> 00:44:46,314 Monsieur Blanchard has got it hanging right over the tripe and the sweetbreads. 627 00:44:46,382 --> 00:44:51,376 - But I've told you so many times, in the United States in a bank... - Won't touch it... not a nickel! 628 00:44:51,453 --> 00:44:54,115 Money corrupts. Art erupts. 629 00:44:54,189 --> 00:44:56,453 Oh, that's a beautiful saying. 630 00:44:56,525 --> 00:44:58,686 It's immortal. I just made it up. 631 00:44:58,761 --> 00:45:02,458 Hey, uh, say, listen, why don't you bring some of that downstairs for me? 632 00:45:02,531 --> 00:45:04,624 Will you? I got some erupting to do. 633 00:45:36,231 --> 00:45:38,165 Darling, your soup's on. 634 00:45:38,233 --> 00:45:40,167 Soup. 635 00:45:46,175 --> 00:45:49,611 Darling, must you make so much noise when you paint? 636 00:45:50,746 --> 00:45:52,680 Ain't no other way, honey. 637 00:45:52,748 --> 00:45:54,682 Tools of my trade, like I told you. 638 00:45:54,750 --> 00:45:57,514 See, the sound, the sonic vibrations, they go in there. 639 00:45:57,586 --> 00:46:00,111 And then that gets transmitted to that photoelectric cell... 640 00:46:00,189 --> 00:46:03,647 which gives those dynamic impulses to the brushes and the arms... 641 00:46:03,725 --> 00:46:09,220 and it's a fusion of the mechanized world and a human soul. 642 00:46:09,298 --> 00:46:12,495 It's the only affirmative statement being made in the world of art today. 643 00:46:12,568 --> 00:46:15,435 I- I'm sorry. I forgot. 644 00:46:15,504 --> 00:46:17,472 It's a terrible thing, being so dumb. 645 00:46:17,539 --> 00:46:19,473 Well, you're really not so dumb, honey... 646 00:46:19,541 --> 00:46:22,339 'cause, to tell the truth, I don't understand it myself. 647 00:46:40,829 --> 00:46:42,763 I left the machine on. 648 00:46:42,831 --> 00:46:45,800 Larry! 649 00:46:45,868 --> 00:46:48,359 Larry. 650 00:46:48,437 --> 00:46:50,928 I know this probably sounds stupid to you... 651 00:46:51,006 --> 00:46:53,941 but what if we take a record... 652 00:46:54,009 --> 00:46:56,842 and we put it on and we play it through the, uh... the... 653 00:46:56,912 --> 00:46:59,676 - Sonic palette. - The sonic palette. 654 00:46:59,748 --> 00:47:02,649 Silly kid. Go ahead. 655 00:47:02,718 --> 00:47:04,652 Mendelssohn's "Spring Song"... 656 00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,711 that's my favorite. 657 00:48:12,788 --> 00:48:14,881 Larry? 658 00:48:14,957 --> 00:48:19,724 Larry. Oh, I like the ones you make with your own noises. 659 00:48:19,795 --> 00:48:21,956 They're the real you. 660 00:48:24,299 --> 00:48:27,632 Yeah, but, uh, I hate to waste a good canvas... 661 00:48:27,703 --> 00:48:30,729 so I might try to pay a bill with it. 662 00:48:30,806 --> 00:48:33,639 Maybe the butcher won't know the difference... 663 00:48:33,709 --> 00:48:36,234 between a real Larry Flint and a Mendelssohn. 664 00:48:40,415 --> 00:48:44,249 Hey, Louisa. Hey! Guess what. 665 00:48:44,319 --> 00:48:47,083 - What, darling? - I didn't leave it at the butcher's. 666 00:48:47,155 --> 00:48:50,750 I was there showing it to him, and there was this customer there buying pig's knuckles. 667 00:48:50,826 --> 00:48:55,593 So, um, he looks at the picture and then he puts on his glasses and he gives me his card... 668 00:48:55,664 --> 00:48:58,098 and he gives me 40,000 francs! 669 00:48:58,166 --> 00:49:00,760 That's almost $200. 670 00:49:00,836 --> 00:49:02,861 Oh. Why, that's wonderful, darling. 671 00:49:02,938 --> 00:49:05,702 All from that silly little idea. 672 00:49:05,774 --> 00:49:07,867 Yeah, well, I gotta go downstairs and get to work. 673 00:49:10,445 --> 00:49:13,778 I'll be listening for all those dear funny little noises. 674 00:49:56,258 --> 00:49:59,659 Aha! Das ist gute, Ludwig. 675 00:50:31,860 --> 00:50:34,260 The show was a smashing success. 676 00:50:34,329 --> 00:50:38,288 - Merci, madame. - Larry was famous and rich overnight. 677 00:50:38,367 --> 00:50:41,461 In the middle of this excitement, I was filled with apprehension... 678 00:50:41,536 --> 00:50:43,470 although I tried to conceal it. 679 00:50:43,538 --> 00:50:46,302 - Congratulations, Master. - I am insufferably honored. 680 00:50:46,375 --> 00:50:49,310 Frieda and I are very happy. 681 00:50:49,378 --> 00:50:52,814 At last, painting which is music and music which is painting. 682 00:50:52,881 --> 00:50:56,476 - How do you do it? - Oh, can anyone explain the workings of the inner man? 683 00:50:56,551 --> 00:51:00,817 Actually, the act of creation might best be described as pure animal instinct. 684 00:51:00,889 --> 00:51:04,916 If only Beethoven were alive to just hear this painting. 685 00:51:04,993 --> 00:51:07,587 Ah, yes. Pauvre Ludwig. I think he'd be very pleased. 686 00:51:07,662 --> 00:51:11,428 Your paintings make me want to kneel, pray and cry. 687 00:51:11,500 --> 00:51:13,525 Well, in that case, Baroness, why don't you buy one... 688 00:51:13,602 --> 00:51:15,661 then you can kneel and pray and cry at home. 689 00:51:15,737 --> 00:51:17,796 Sensation, Master! 690 00:51:17,873 --> 00:51:22,276 - Please. - Please. Please let me introduce you to all Paris. 691 00:51:22,344 --> 00:51:25,609 Well, thank you very much, but me wife and I don't take much to the high places. 692 00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:29,446 We'll just go back to our little garage and attic. I got work to do. 693 00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,616 But, of course, we didn't go back to the old place. 694 00:51:34,689 --> 00:51:36,816 We had a lovely house on Isle St. Louis. 695 00:51:36,892 --> 00:51:38,826 But Larry was never there. 696 00:51:38,894 --> 00:51:40,828 If he wasn't entertaining at the gallery... 697 00:51:40,896 --> 00:51:43,364 he was at his studio just outside of Paris. 698 00:51:58,814 --> 00:52:01,305 I was tired of being alone... 699 00:52:01,383 --> 00:52:04,910 tired of wearing these ridiculous outfits Larry painted for me. 700 00:52:04,986 --> 00:52:07,079 What kind of life was this? 701 00:52:07,155 --> 00:52:09,248 I was just another canvas to him... 702 00:52:09,324 --> 00:52:11,758 just another walking catalog. 703 00:52:11,827 --> 00:52:14,421 Where was the simple life Larry and I had had... 704 00:52:14,496 --> 00:52:16,589 that vie de Boh�me? 705 00:52:16,665 --> 00:52:18,758 He was obsessed with success. 706 00:52:18,834 --> 00:52:22,429 I had to get him back. I couldn't let that happen to me a second time. 707 00:52:22,504 --> 00:52:24,563 Suddenly, I had an idea. 708 00:52:46,194 --> 00:52:50,221 What are you doing up there? Get down! Down! 709 00:52:50,298 --> 00:52:53,392 What the... 710 00:52:55,170 --> 00:52:57,934 Stop that right now! Stop that! Stop that! 711 00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:02,237 Come on, now! Stop that! 712 00:53:04,179 --> 00:53:06,113 Louisa, what are you doing here? 713 00:53:06,181 --> 00:53:08,911 Darling, I haven't seen you in so long. 714 00:53:08,984 --> 00:53:11,919 What do you mean? We had dinner together only last week. What do you want? 715 00:53:11,987 --> 00:53:14,080 Uh, I have a surprise for you. 716 00:53:15,390 --> 00:53:17,381 Aha! 717 00:53:23,031 --> 00:53:25,659 Larry! 718 00:53:25,734 --> 00:53:30,631 Larry! 719 00:53:30,705 --> 00:53:32,673 Look who's here! 720 00:53:32,741 --> 00:53:35,938 - Well, how is Frieda? - Oh, painting better than ever. 721 00:53:36,011 --> 00:53:39,447 Larry. Larry, we have missed you, Larry. 722 00:53:39,514 --> 00:53:41,675 Oh, yes. I have missed you too. 723 00:53:46,988 --> 00:53:49,456 Listen, Larry. We have a picnic. 724 00:53:49,524 --> 00:53:52,789 Some bread and wine and cheese, and I thought we could all... 725 00:53:52,861 --> 00:53:55,796 No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I'm working against a deadline. 726 00:53:55,864 --> 00:53:59,459 This mural's for Neiman Marcus. That's a department store in Texas. 727 00:53:59,534 --> 00:54:02,401 150 thou! 728 00:54:02,470 --> 00:54:05,735 I've got to get it rolled up and on a jet by tomorrow. 729 00:54:08,643 --> 00:54:10,577 What are you doing up there? 730 00:54:10,645 --> 00:54:14,137 Aaargh! Oh, I never should have had these damn things made in Paris! 731 00:54:17,485 --> 00:54:20,420 What are you doing? Where are you going? Get back in line here! 732 00:54:20,488 --> 00:54:22,922 Stop that now! 733 00:54:22,991 --> 00:54:25,755 - I'm terribly sorry, Rene. I'm sorry. - Stop that! 734 00:54:25,827 --> 00:54:27,920 Get back there! Get back there! 735 00:54:27,996 --> 00:54:31,727 Larry! Larry, what is the matter with you? What is the matter? 736 00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:35,167 - Get back there! - Larry, why can't it be the way it used to be? 737 00:54:35,236 --> 00:54:38,535 Larry, I never dreamed this could happen! 738 00:54:38,607 --> 00:54:40,541 What is the matter with you, Larry? 739 00:54:40,609 --> 00:54:44,045 What is the matter with you? 740 00:54:48,283 --> 00:54:50,251 - Larry! - Rene, let's go. 741 00:55:26,655 --> 00:55:31,786 150 thou! Ohhh! 742 00:55:31,860 --> 00:55:33,589 What the... 743 00:55:33,662 --> 00:55:36,062 Aaaah! 744 00:55:57,686 --> 00:56:00,450 - En Anglais, s'il vous plait. - Pardon, madame. 745 00:56:00,522 --> 00:56:02,956 "I, Larry Flint, bequeath all my... " 746 00:56:03,024 --> 00:56:05,390 What Larry Flint had left me in cash... 747 00:56:05,460 --> 00:56:07,451 plus the sale of his remaining pictures... 748 00:56:07,529 --> 00:56:11,226 brought me in the neighborhood of $4 million in American money. 749 00:56:11,299 --> 00:56:14,904 It was an amount even Picasso wouldn't be ashamed of. 750 00:56:15,037 --> 00:56:18,837 After several months of trying to lose myself in Paris... 751 00:56:18,908 --> 00:56:20,842 I decided to leave. 752 00:56:30,319 --> 00:56:32,310 Oh! 753 00:56:33,923 --> 00:56:36,858 I was here an hour early and you kept me sitting in that lounge... 754 00:56:36,926 --> 00:56:40,418 and everyone said, "Well, don't worry. You'll hear the announcement." 755 00:56:40,496 --> 00:56:44,592 We phoned for them to hold up for you, but I guess they didn't get the message, madame. 756 00:56:44,667 --> 00:56:46,601 Believe me... Believe me, it's just... 757 00:56:46,669 --> 00:56:48,933 All my luggage is on that plane! 758 00:56:49,004 --> 00:56:51,598 Oh, I had my heart set on getting out of here tonight. 759 00:57:04,854 --> 00:57:07,914 - But I can't possibly stay in Paris for another day. - Madame... 760 00:57:07,990 --> 00:57:11,357 - You missed the last trolley back to town? - Oh, Mr. Anderson. 761 00:57:11,427 --> 00:57:13,361 Should I have that plane brought back? 762 00:57:13,429 --> 00:57:16,296 - No, no. I'll take it from here. - Thank you, Mr. Anderson. 763 00:57:16,365 --> 00:57:19,664 Excuse me, Mr. Anderson. Overseas call, sir. San Francisco. 764 00:57:19,735 --> 00:57:22,966 Okay. Excuse me. Hello? Uh-huh. 765 00:57:23,039 --> 00:57:25,098 I recognized him immediately... 766 00:57:25,174 --> 00:57:28,507 unbalding, glamorous Rod Anderson, Jr... 767 00:57:28,577 --> 00:57:31,011 millionaire tycoon, up from riches... 768 00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:35,141 inheriting 10 million from senior Anderson's maple syrup empire. 769 00:57:35,217 --> 00:57:38,414 Unmarried, he seemed to have no trouble in getting what he wanted... 770 00:57:38,487 --> 00:57:42,116 - in business or in pleasure. - Uh-huh. Yeah. Buy it. Thank you. 771 00:57:42,191 --> 00:57:44,489 Well, Mrs. Flint, where would you like to go? 772 00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:47,791 I was sorry to read of your loss. I saw you at one of your late husband's openings. 773 00:57:47,863 --> 00:57:50,696 I didn't buy anything, though. I don't like his paintings. 774 00:57:50,766 --> 00:57:53,997 Well, I don't like your airplanes. Where are you going? 775 00:57:54,070 --> 00:57:57,062 New York, Miami, Irkutsk... anyplace you'd like to go. 776 00:57:57,139 --> 00:57:59,505 I just flew in from New York this evening for some party. 777 00:57:59,575 --> 00:58:02,567 I stayed about a half an hour, and I'd had it. I don't like parties. 778 00:58:02,645 --> 00:58:05,637 So, you just put on your Superman suit and fly away home. 779 00:58:05,715 --> 00:58:10,277 That's right. And there it is... or don't you accept hitches from strange men? 780 00:58:10,352 --> 00:58:12,820 Oh, I know who you are, Mr. Anderson. 781 00:58:12,888 --> 00:58:14,822 I just don't know if I'll be very good company. 782 00:58:14,890 --> 00:58:17,358 I just got... I don't have much small talk. 783 00:58:17,426 --> 00:58:20,224 - I haven't any time for small talk either. - Excuse me, Mr. Anderson. 784 00:58:20,296 --> 00:58:23,891 - Overseas call. Hong Kong calling. - Excuse me. Uh-huh. 785 00:58:23,966 --> 00:58:28,699 Yeah. Uh-huh. All right. Sell it. Thank you. 786 00:58:28,771 --> 00:58:31,934 - Well, where shall it be? - New York. 787 00:58:32,007 --> 00:58:34,635 New York it is. 788 00:58:40,716 --> 00:58:44,812 What was I getting into? What was on that plane? 789 00:58:44,887 --> 00:58:48,084 I looked at the name of it. "Melissa." 790 00:58:48,157 --> 00:58:50,682 Naturally it would be named after a woman. 791 00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:52,990 I'd heard enough about those dissolute playboys. 792 00:59:10,746 --> 00:59:14,375 What are you doing after the orgy? 793 00:59:17,119 --> 00:59:20,179 The, uh, plane is ready. 794 00:59:20,256 --> 00:59:24,522 - Pretty name, "Melissa." - Someone I knew a long time ago. 795 00:59:43,612 --> 00:59:46,103 - Good evening, Mr. Anderson. - Good evening, Mark. 796 00:59:46,182 --> 00:59:50,778 Mark, this is Mrs. Flint. She'll be flying back with us. What sort of weather have we? 797 00:59:50,853 --> 00:59:54,619 - It's clear, sir, all the way through to New York. - Excellent. 798 00:59:59,929 --> 01:00:04,161 - Good evening, Willard. - Good evening, Mr. Anderson. 799 01:00:04,233 --> 01:00:06,565 - Willard, this is Mrs. Flint. - How do you do? 800 01:00:06,635 --> 01:00:09,126 - Mrs. Flint will be flying back with us. - Yes, sir. 801 01:00:09,205 --> 01:00:11,366 Her bags left on the 11:19. 802 01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:14,739 You have them picked up at Idlewild and delivered to... 803 01:00:14,810 --> 01:00:17,973 - Uh, the Montclair Hotel? - Is that your favorite? 804 01:00:18,047 --> 01:00:22,643 - Well, I've never, uh, been in New York. Only for a few hours en route. - Mm-hmm. 805 01:00:22,718 --> 01:00:27,018 - You better make that my suite at the St. Regis, Willard. - Very good, sir. 806 01:00:27,089 --> 01:00:29,421 It's reserved for visiting executives. 807 01:00:29,491 --> 01:00:33,086 I camp about 10 blocks further up the street on Fifth Avenue. 808 01:00:33,162 --> 01:00:36,859 - And Willard, have the chef come 'round and take Mrs. Flint's order, will you? - Yes, sir. 809 01:00:36,932 --> 01:00:40,026 You have anything you like. We have some rather fine wines aboard. 810 01:00:40,102 --> 01:00:43,333 - I'll, uh, just have my usual. - Yes, sir. 811 01:00:43,405 --> 01:00:46,841 - Whatever you have is all right with me. - Oh, really? 812 01:00:46,909 --> 01:00:52,313 My usual is two soft-boiled eggs, gluten toast and a glass of yogurt. 813 01:00:52,381 --> 01:00:56,818 And Willard, Mrs. Flint will have the, uh, cr�me Senegalese, steak Diane... 814 01:00:56,886 --> 01:01:02,290 pomme souffl�, profiteroles with, uh, chocolate sauce, and break out a bottle of La Tache. 815 01:01:02,358 --> 01:01:04,758 - Very good, sir. - And that'll be all, Willard. Thank you. 816 01:01:04,827 --> 01:01:08,354 Now, let's step into the bar. 817 01:01:08,430 --> 01:01:11,399 - I'll make you one of my very special martinis. - Oh, thank you, no. 818 01:01:11,467 --> 01:01:14,766 I'll have a, uh... a scotch on the "rotch." 819 01:01:14,837 --> 01:01:18,534 - Uh, on the rocks. - Oh. Very well. 820 01:01:19,675 --> 01:01:22,872 I was raised on maple syrup, you know. 821 01:01:22,945 --> 01:01:24,913 Cured me of drinking anything at all. 822 01:01:24,980 --> 01:01:29,144 - Oh. Well, then I won't have... - No, no, no. You go right ahead. Drink up. It's good for you. 823 01:01:31,754 --> 01:01:35,019 Telephone. Watkins in Chicago. 824 01:01:35,090 --> 01:01:37,081 Excuse me. 825 01:01:47,036 --> 01:01:49,903 You know, you really are rather beautiful... 826 01:01:49,972 --> 01:01:53,806 but, uh, is that your hair? 827 01:01:53,876 --> 01:01:55,901 Yeah. Hello. 828 01:01:55,978 --> 01:01:59,914 Okay. You just sit tight. No, no. I think Prescott's bluffing anyway. 829 01:01:59,982 --> 01:02:01,973 True, there was no orgy on board. 830 01:02:02,051 --> 01:02:05,020 - He wasn't the Diamond Jim Brady of the jet set. 831 01:02:05,087 --> 01:02:09,285 But he was arrogant, cold, sure of himself, ordering people around... 832 01:02:09,358 --> 01:02:13,761 another object lesson in what money and power can do to a human being. 833 01:02:13,829 --> 01:02:17,822 But for all of it, he really seemed to be a miserable and lonely man. 834 01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:23,770 Why he never even smiled. Not once had a smile lit that stoney, sunless face. 835 01:02:23,839 --> 01:02:26,535 - Well, a tycoon's work is never finished, is it? 836 01:02:26,608 --> 01:02:30,476 - That's what you call yourself, isn't it? A tycoon? - Absolutely. Absolutely. 837 01:02:30,546 --> 01:02:35,347 Every morning I get up and look at myself in the mirror, and I say, "Good morning, tycoon." 838 01:02:35,417 --> 01:02:37,977 I, uh... I know you don't approve of me, Mrs. Flint... 839 01:02:38,053 --> 01:02:40,817 but that need be of no concern to either one of us. 840 01:02:40,889 --> 01:02:43,551 I'm going into my office now. I've got some work to do. 841 01:02:43,625 --> 01:02:49,495 I promise not to interrupt by calling out points of passing interest or the weather conditions over Baffin Bay. 842 01:02:49,565 --> 01:02:53,057 I'll see you in New York, and don't forget to fasten your seat belt. 843 01:02:58,407 --> 01:03:01,570 What was wrong with my hat anyway? 844 01:03:04,713 --> 01:03:08,479 - Okay, Mark. I'll take her. - Okay, sir. 845 01:03:09,718 --> 01:03:12,016 I wondered who Melissa was. 846 01:03:12,087 --> 01:03:15,523 Some forgotten Hollywood starlet, no doubt. 847 01:03:22,398 --> 01:03:26,391 I was scared. I hated being alone during the takeoff. 848 01:04:20,756 --> 01:04:24,385 It was so beautiful looking down... 849 01:04:24,460 --> 01:04:28,362 the lights, the sky, the stars. 850 01:04:29,531 --> 01:04:32,227 How I wished I had someone to share it with... 851 01:04:32,301 --> 01:04:37,170 not this unsmiling, airborne cigar-store Indian. 852 01:04:38,740 --> 01:04:40,674 Then, the fatal thing happened. 853 01:04:46,448 --> 01:04:50,077 I'm glad you decided to join me. 854 01:04:50,152 --> 01:04:53,144 Nice to have someone to share it with, isn't it? 855 01:04:54,790 --> 01:04:56,724 Beautiful. 856 01:04:57,793 --> 01:05:01,752 Excuse me, sir. Telephone. Zurich. 857 01:05:01,830 --> 01:05:06,062 Willard, tell the gentleman I just stepped out. 858 01:05:20,282 --> 01:05:22,944 I never did get to the St. Regis. 859 01:05:23,018 --> 01:05:26,545 We were married in New York in his fabulous penthouse. 860 01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:42,099 Thank you, Timothy. 861 01:05:42,171 --> 01:05:44,105 Hello. 862 01:05:44,173 --> 01:05:48,439 Yes. Mm-hmm. 863 01:05:48,510 --> 01:05:51,445 Okay. 864 01:05:51,513 --> 01:05:54,004 I felt so safe at last. 865 01:05:54,082 --> 01:05:58,416 Rod had all the wealth and success he wanted long before he met me. 866 01:05:58,487 --> 01:06:01,854 I felt I couldn't possibly jinx his life. 867 01:06:03,926 --> 01:06:06,724 - Uh-huh. As for the mysterious Melissa... 868 01:06:06,795 --> 01:06:09,320 I decided never to question him about it. 869 01:06:09,398 --> 01:06:11,889 I dismissed it from my life. 870 01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:21,237 A little trinket from Harry Winston's. 871 01:06:21,310 --> 01:06:24,837 As I look back on it now, our life together was like... 872 01:06:24,913 --> 01:06:30,545 one of those glamorous Hollywood movies all about love and what'll she wear next. 873 01:07:01,717 --> 01:07:04,709 Remind me to tell you later that I love you. 874 01:07:08,757 --> 01:07:11,123 I'll remind you if you'll remind me. 875 01:08:35,711 --> 01:08:38,544 - Louisa! - Hello, Doris. 876 01:08:38,613 --> 01:08:41,639 - Now, Louisa, you look divine. - Oh, Chester, thank you. 877 01:08:46,054 --> 01:08:49,956 - You remember Peter, don't you, darling? - Oh, but of course. 878 01:08:53,195 --> 01:08:55,857 We met at El Morocco the other evening. 879 01:08:55,931 --> 01:08:59,059 - You play beautifully. So nice of you to come. - Thank you. 880 01:08:59,134 --> 01:09:02,831 - That's a beautiful dress. - Oh, I'm glad you like it. 881 01:09:02,904 --> 01:09:08,672 It's my favorite... my very own favorite. 882 01:09:08,744 --> 01:09:10,678 I wanna talk to you. 883 01:09:10,746 --> 01:09:13,476 - What is it, dear? - You remind me to tell you later... 884 01:09:13,548 --> 01:09:15,743 that I love you. 885 01:09:15,817 --> 01:09:18,445 - Rod! - Nicky! 886 01:09:20,856 --> 01:09:22,847 Louisa! 887 01:09:25,894 --> 01:09:28,658 Louisa, darling, here is someone you simply must meet. 888 01:09:37,072 --> 01:09:40,007 - Darling, now you know Nicky Cathcart... - Wonderful to meet you. 889 01:09:40,075 --> 01:09:42,009 - Mrs. Cathcart. - How do you do? 890 01:09:42,077 --> 01:09:45,342 - Louisa. - I do hope the two of you can come down to us for a shoot. 891 01:09:45,413 --> 01:09:48,905 Mmm! Love to. We always get a bang out of a shoot. 892 01:09:50,619 --> 01:09:53,679 Remind me... to tell you... 893 01:09:53,755 --> 01:09:54,744 that... 894 01:09:54,823 --> 01:09:55,847 I... 895 01:09:55,924 --> 01:09:57,255 love... 896 01:09:57,325 --> 01:09:59,316 you. 897 01:10:15,610 --> 01:10:19,410 I'll remind you just as soon as I change my nightgown. 898 01:10:28,290 --> 01:10:30,781 Lord Kensington, Lady Kensington... 899 01:10:30,859 --> 01:10:32,793 may I present my wife, Louisa? 900 01:10:32,861 --> 01:10:34,795 - How do you do? - So nice. 901 01:10:34,863 --> 01:10:36,797 - Delighted. - How do you do? 902 01:10:36,865 --> 01:10:39,356 We're so happy you could fly in for the evening. 903 01:10:39,434 --> 01:10:44,133 - I hope the two of you can come down to the abbey this weekend. - Oh, we'd love to. 904 01:10:44,206 --> 01:10:47,141 Oh, but darling, I haven't a thing to wear. 905 01:10:50,745 --> 01:10:55,944 - I'm reminding you to remind me to tell you that I love you. - Thank you for reminding me. 906 01:10:57,018 --> 01:10:59,077 I'm reminding you... 907 01:10:59,154 --> 01:11:02,885 that you said to remind me to tell me that you love me. 908 01:11:02,958 --> 01:11:05,688 Thank you for reminding me. 909 01:11:05,760 --> 01:11:07,921 Thank you. 910 01:11:13,335 --> 01:11:16,600 - I love you. - I love you. 911 01:11:56,077 --> 01:12:00,070 - Why didn't he tell me before? - Hello, darling. I'm sorry I'm late. 912 01:12:00,148 --> 01:12:03,242 Well you tell him that he's through. This is total disaster. 913 01:12:03,318 --> 01:12:05,809 How could it possibly happen to me? 914 01:12:05,887 --> 01:12:07,980 - What happened? - Louisa... 915 01:12:08,056 --> 01:12:10,547 ever since we got married, I've been neglecting my business. 916 01:12:10,625 --> 01:12:15,324 I've been so much in love with you that I've paid no attention to it at all. I've let it slide. 917 01:12:15,397 --> 01:12:20,630 - Well, I've just been reading these business reports. - Are you faced with ruin? 918 01:12:20,702 --> 01:12:24,160 I am three times as rich as I was the day we got married. 919 01:12:24,239 --> 01:12:26,173 Oh, no! 920 01:12:26,241 --> 01:12:30,177 Nobody triples the business of Anderson Enterprises but Rod Anderson. 921 01:12:30,245 --> 01:12:32,543 Someone has been giving orders... 922 01:12:32,614 --> 01:12:35,549 somewhere, somebody in my organization. 923 01:12:35,617 --> 01:12:37,551 Why, that's absolute treachery. 924 01:12:37,619 --> 01:12:41,020 Someone's been giving orders behind my back! Imagine that? 925 01:12:41,089 --> 01:12:43,922 If I wanna lose a fortune, I'll lose a fortune. 926 01:12:43,992 --> 01:12:48,452 If I wanna triple it, I'll triple it... no one else. 927 01:12:48,530 --> 01:12:51,090 I'm gonna get to every one of my offices all over the world... 928 01:12:51,166 --> 01:12:54,192 and I'm gonna find out who's been running things behind my back. 929 01:12:54,269 --> 01:12:58,569 Triple it? How could he possibly triple it? Who can the guy be? 930 01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:02,599 You spend years training employees, executives, to serve you faithfully... 931 01:13:02,677 --> 01:13:06,204 and they stab you behind the back? 932 01:13:06,281 --> 01:13:09,876 That's loyalty for you. Willard? 933 01:13:09,951 --> 01:13:14,081 Willard, you make arrangements for trips to, uh, Sidney, Johannesburg... 934 01:13:14,155 --> 01:13:16,089 Hong Kong and Bombay. 935 01:13:16,157 --> 01:13:19,684 I'm looking for somebody, and I'm not coming back until I find them. 936 01:13:19,761 --> 01:13:22,161 I knew there was no man to look for. 937 01:13:22,230 --> 01:13:24,391 It was only me and my witch's curse. 938 01:13:26,134 --> 01:13:29,900 Sleep was impossible. Next morning, Rod would go out of my life forever... 939 01:13:29,971 --> 01:13:32,439 and meet his doom somewhere. 940 01:13:32,507 --> 01:13:36,671 I was terrified. I tried to think of a way to save him. 941 01:13:46,087 --> 01:13:50,387 "Melissa. Happy days on his uncle's farm." 942 01:13:50,458 --> 01:13:53,894 The simple life. 943 01:14:05,940 --> 01:14:10,309 - Moo. - Hmm? 944 01:14:10,378 --> 01:14:13,506 Moo. 945 01:14:13,581 --> 01:14:16,072 Melissa? 946 01:14:16,151 --> 01:14:21,282 Melissa. Mmm. 947 01:14:29,731 --> 01:14:32,529 We had a simple, modest little farm... 948 01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:35,797 two dozen leghorns for me to look after... 949 01:14:35,870 --> 01:14:40,671 And a cow named Melissa... Melissa I... and a bull named Melrose. 950 01:14:40,742 --> 01:14:43,836 Well, Ma, how do I look? 951 01:14:43,912 --> 01:14:45,846 The neighbors all say I look real fine. 952 01:14:45,914 --> 01:14:48,815 Wonderful, Pa. Real elegant. 953 01:14:48,883 --> 01:14:51,875 Have one more nip of our local cider. 954 01:14:51,953 --> 01:14:55,616 Well, it's my fourth, and I'm not a drinkin' man, but seein' as how it's welcomin' day... 955 01:14:55,690 --> 01:14:57,521 - here's to ya. - Hey, thank ya. 956 01:14:57,592 --> 01:15:01,187 Good day, Mr. Anderson. Good day, Mrs. Anderson. 957 01:15:01,262 --> 01:15:03,696 - Have another drink. - No, I'm drivin'. 958 01:15:07,268 --> 01:15:10,032 - We'll see you, Rod. - Come on. Get him up. 959 01:15:10,105 --> 01:15:12,972 - Come on. Let's get him to the wagon. - Come on. Let's go. 960 01:15:13,041 --> 01:15:14,975 No more. 961 01:15:18,613 --> 01:15:23,073 I'm sure glad I listened to you. 962 01:15:23,151 --> 01:15:25,210 This is our first day here, and already... 963 01:15:25,286 --> 01:15:28,312 - I realize that this is what I always wanted to come back to. 964 01:15:28,389 --> 01:15:32,325 And you made me do it. 965 01:15:32,393 --> 01:15:35,021 Uh-oh. Feedin' time. 966 01:15:35,096 --> 01:15:39,157 I'll go feed Melissa, and you milk the chickens, huh? 967 01:15:39,234 --> 01:15:43,068 - I've been waitin' a lot of years for that. - Can't it wait till tomorrow? 968 01:15:43,138 --> 01:15:46,335 That shows how much you know about farmin'. You don't milk her now, and she'll be... 969 01:15:46,407 --> 01:15:48,705 Mooin' all night long. 970 01:15:48,776 --> 01:15:50,767 Let's go. 971 01:16:03,024 --> 01:16:05,720 Hello, Melissa, baby. 972 01:16:05,793 --> 01:16:07,727 Oh, sw... 973 01:16:09,797 --> 01:16:12,231 How're you doing, honey? 974 01:16:12,300 --> 01:16:14,632 Just great, honey. 975 01:16:14,702 --> 01:16:17,933 'Atsa girl, Melissa, baby. Mmm. 976 01:16:19,941 --> 01:16:24,969 Whoa, baby. Whoa, Melissa. That's a girl. 977 01:16:27,115 --> 01:16:29,276 Melrose! 978 01:16:29,350 --> 01:16:31,284 Forgive me! 979 01:16:49,871 --> 01:16:52,965 "And all the rest of my holdings, cash and securities... " 980 01:16:53,041 --> 01:16:54,975 Several months after the funeral... 981 01:16:55,043 --> 01:16:57,978 I had to listen to the grim business details. 982 01:16:58,046 --> 01:17:02,415 Rod had sold out everything so quickly that his fortune was pitifully reduced. 983 01:17:02,483 --> 01:17:05,179 It came to a mere $ 150 million. 984 01:17:05,253 --> 01:17:10,782 I felt alone and lost, and I was determined to live alone for the rest of my life. 985 01:17:10,858 --> 01:17:14,851 It was the only fair thing to do. 986 01:17:36,718 --> 01:17:40,711 Isn't there any way of getting a cup of coffee here? 987 01:17:40,788 --> 01:17:44,417 Isn't there any way of gettin' a cup of coffee here 988 01:17:44,492 --> 01:17:46,153 What's your name, Miss? 989 01:17:46,227 --> 01:17:48,695 Uh, Louisa May Hop... 990 01:17:48,763 --> 01:17:50,697 Hop... 991 01:17:50,765 --> 01:17:54,861 Hop... Fli... Anderson. 992 01:17:54,936 --> 01:17:57,928 Isn't there any way of gettin' a cup of coffee here 993 01:17:58,006 --> 01:18:02,033 Asked Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop-Fli-Anderson 994 01:18:02,110 --> 01:18:05,739 Pretty eyes, pretty hair And she asked so clear 995 01:18:05,813 --> 01:18:09,806 Isn't there any way of gettin' a cup of coffee here 996 01:18:14,822 --> 01:18:17,484 Uh, Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop-Fli-Anderson, huh? 997 01:18:17,558 --> 01:18:19,685 That's a funny name. 998 01:18:21,262 --> 01:18:23,958 It's just Anderson. 999 01:18:25,033 --> 01:18:28,059 Uh, please stay, Miss Anderson. 1000 01:18:28,136 --> 01:18:30,627 I'll get you a cup of coffee. 1001 01:18:30,705 --> 01:18:34,038 Clancy must... must be out back somewhere. I'm in here all the time. 1002 01:18:35,109 --> 01:18:37,043 Say, uh... 1003 01:18:37,111 --> 01:18:39,443 I, uh... I hope you didn't think I was being fresh. 1004 01:18:39,514 --> 01:18:41,641 That's just part of my act, you know. 1005 01:18:41,716 --> 01:18:44,207 I get a list of the customers' names each night before the show... 1006 01:18:44,285 --> 01:18:47,448 and then I make up little rhymes using all their names. 1007 01:18:47,522 --> 01:18:50,320 It's one my specialties, that ad-lib stuff. 1008 01:18:50,391 --> 01:18:52,325 Coffee? 1009 01:18:52,393 --> 01:18:54,327 Sugar? 1010 01:18:54,395 --> 01:18:58,559 Danish? Serve the Danish. 1011 01:18:58,633 --> 01:19:01,431 And for a big finale, a napkin. 1012 01:19:01,502 --> 01:19:04,130 There's our Pinky. Always at it. 1013 01:19:04,205 --> 01:19:06,230 Pinky, ain't you ever off the floor? 1014 01:19:06,307 --> 01:19:08,366 Why, it's Herman Bodkin, I do declare... 1015 01:19:08,443 --> 01:19:10,968 and Ernie Wilkens who's with him there. 1016 01:19:11,045 --> 01:19:14,208 I said with a grin, "Ernie, your hair is gettin' thin," 1017 01:19:14,282 --> 01:19:17,809 and Ernie answered, "Who wants fat hair?" 1018 01:19:19,854 --> 01:19:24,154 - Ah, it's true. I, uh, never seem to stop being on. 1019 01:19:24,225 --> 01:19:27,092 Oh, I liked it. 1020 01:19:27,161 --> 01:19:29,561 You performing around here? 1021 01:19:29,630 --> 01:19:33,191 Am I performing around here? 1022 01:19:34,268 --> 01:19:36,395 Look. 1023 01:19:38,406 --> 01:19:40,840 That's me... Pinky Benson. 1024 01:19:41,909 --> 01:19:44,002 - Can I get you anything else? - Mm-mm. 1025 01:19:44,078 --> 01:19:46,979 - It's on me. - No, thank you. 1026 01:19:48,049 --> 01:19:49,983 - What's doin'? - I got it, Clance. 1027 01:19:50,051 --> 01:19:52,451 Thank you. 1028 01:19:52,520 --> 01:19:56,456 Say, uh, if you're not busy later, would you like to watch my act? 1029 01:19:57,859 --> 01:20:00,089 I hadn't decided what to do later. 1030 01:20:00,161 --> 01:20:04,120 I even thought of staying in this town for a few days till I made up my mind. 1031 01:20:04,198 --> 01:20:06,428 Well? 1032 01:20:08,569 --> 01:20:12,528 Well, uh... 1033 01:20:12,606 --> 01:20:15,006 - Well, sure. I'll come. - Good. 1034 01:20:15,075 --> 01:20:17,566 Um, I gotta kinda rush over there right now. 1035 01:20:17,645 --> 01:20:21,206 It takes me two hours for my props and to put on my costume and makeup. 1036 01:20:21,282 --> 01:20:23,910 Oh. Really? How's it going? 1037 01:20:23,984 --> 01:20:28,717 Well, the management must love me. I've been playing there for 14 years. 1038 01:20:31,192 --> 01:20:33,126 See you later. 1039 01:20:38,933 --> 01:20:41,197 - Who ordered the well-done, green peas, succotash? 1040 01:20:41,268 --> 01:20:43,702 - Here. Over here. - Medium-well. 1041 01:20:43,771 --> 01:20:46,399 - Side of spinach. - Hey. I ordered the creamed spinach. 1042 01:20:46,474 --> 01:20:51,571 Ah, that's better for you. No cholesterol. Mashed potatoes, well-done. 1043 01:20:51,645 --> 01:20:55,979 - One rare, hashed brown! - I ordered French fries. Take it back! 1044 01:20:56,050 --> 01:20:58,610 - Ah, you always make such a fuss. - Ah, shut up! 1045 01:20:58,686 --> 01:21:04,454 I agree. But stuff yourself, honey. No man wants a fistful of bones. 1046 01:21:04,525 --> 01:21:09,792 - Okay! Okay! Here he is... for your dinner pleasure... 1047 01:21:09,864 --> 01:21:14,892 Jersey City's own uh-Pinky uh-Benson! 1048 01:21:20,875 --> 01:21:23,605 Well, good evening, friends and neighbors. 1049 01:21:23,677 --> 01:21:27,613 - Hey, who do we have here with us tonight? The Shimkins. 1050 01:21:27,681 --> 01:21:32,778 Rosie Shimkin was able to get a ringside table. She's wearing a rose in her hat. 1051 01:21:32,853 --> 01:21:36,414 - And with her is her husband, Matt. And that is that. 1052 01:21:36,490 --> 01:21:39,926 Dennis Horner is sittin'over there in the corner. Hiya, Dennis! 1053 01:21:39,994 --> 01:21:43,020 And Peggy Norton... Peggy Norton and her sister Min. 1054 01:21:43,097 --> 01:21:46,396 Chewin' on those bones like Rin Tin Tin. 1055 01:21:46,467 --> 01:21:49,334 So, welcome, all! Welcome, one. 1056 01:21:49,403 --> 01:21:52,531 Lend an ear and have some fun. 1057 01:21:52,606 --> 01:21:57,976 - I think that you and I should get acquainted 1058 01:21:58,045 --> 01:22:01,776 - I'll just come up to you and ask your name - What I say is live... 1059 01:22:01,849 --> 01:22:05,649 - I'll tell you mine, and I'll say, Isn't the weather fine - and leave me alone. 1060 01:22:05,719 --> 01:22:10,213 And aren't you really glad so glad that you came 1061 01:22:10,291 --> 01:22:14,352 Then after you and I become acquainted 1062 01:22:14,428 --> 01:22:18,421 I'll ask you if you'd like to stay a while 1063 01:22:18,499 --> 01:22:22,265 You'll say you would You'll give me a smile 1064 01:22:22,336 --> 01:22:26,636 Oh, goody-good You'll make my evenin' worthwhile 1065 01:22:26,707 --> 01:22:30,643 Before our little rendezvous ends 1066 01:22:30,711 --> 01:22:34,203 We won't just be acquainted 1067 01:22:34,281 --> 01:22:38,308 We'll be the very very best of friends 1068 01:22:59,707 --> 01:23:04,041 - I could see why the management loved him. 1069 01:23:04,111 --> 01:23:09,048 He didn't interfere one bit with the sale of food and liquor. 1070 01:23:38,078 --> 01:23:41,309 It was the worst act I'd ever seen. 1071 01:23:41,382 --> 01:23:43,907 Just looking at Pinky made me want to cry. 1072 01:23:43,984 --> 01:23:46,214 But he was so happy and untroubled. 1073 01:23:46,286 --> 01:23:49,016 And I feel at home here, as you can see. 1074 01:23:49,089 --> 01:23:53,048 And in all the 14 years, you've never wanted to play anywhere else? 1075 01:23:53,127 --> 01:23:55,891 - Oh, you mean, uh, the big time? - Mm-hmm. 1076 01:23:55,963 --> 01:24:00,366 Boy, why does everybody seem to think you have to wanna play the big time? 1077 01:24:00,434 --> 01:24:02,868 Why? You get to the top of the ladder... 1078 01:24:02,936 --> 01:24:05,734 you're a slave to your fans, you got no life of your own. 1079 01:24:05,806 --> 01:24:09,708 Then you gotta start worryin' about staying up there. Oh, no. Not for me. 1080 01:24:09,777 --> 01:24:12,109 I'm happy doing what I'm doing. 1081 01:24:12,179 --> 01:24:15,148 And you know what? I teach dancing to kids in the daytime. 1082 01:24:15,215 --> 01:24:18,981 - That's nice. - Yeah. My, uh... My wife wanted me to get ahead. 1083 01:24:19,053 --> 01:24:23,319 She wanted me to get an agent, press agent, publicity, audition, push, push, push. 1084 01:24:23,390 --> 01:24:26,757 - Your wife? - Yeah. I was married once. We were... We were a team. 1085 01:24:26,827 --> 01:24:29,523 She always wanted to be way up there, so I let her go. 1086 01:24:29,596 --> 01:24:33,623 - And today that woman is Greta Garbo. 1087 01:24:33,701 --> 01:24:38,400 Nah. She married a guy with a lotta dough and she left the business. 1088 01:24:38,472 --> 01:24:41,100 I don't blame her. 1089 01:24:41,175 --> 01:24:43,370 I don't blame her at all. 1090 01:24:44,645 --> 01:24:48,775 I was just a guy who wanted the simple kinda life. 1091 01:24:51,251 --> 01:24:53,185 And that's the story of my life 1092 01:24:53,253 --> 01:24:56,780 As told to Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop 1093 01:24:56,857 --> 01:24:59,257 Hop-Fli-Anderson Boom Boom, Be-Doom Be-Doom 1094 01:25:01,628 --> 01:25:04,859 Oh. 1095 01:25:21,048 --> 01:25:25,348 Louisa May Hop-Fli-Anderson Benson. 1096 01:25:25,419 --> 01:25:27,785 Yes. We were married... happily married. 1097 01:25:27,855 --> 01:25:31,120 And we lived on our lovely houseboat on the Hudson. 1098 01:25:31,191 --> 01:25:33,853 I told him I had a great deal of money somewhere... 1099 01:25:33,927 --> 01:25:35,895 but both of us forgot all about it. 1100 01:25:35,963 --> 01:25:39,126 Ho! Good mornin', Mrs. Benson Good mornin' to you 1101 01:25:39,199 --> 01:25:41,827 Good mornin', Mrs. Benson How do you do 1102 01:25:41,902 --> 01:25:44,871 I'll give you just one kiss Then I'll stop 1103 01:25:44,938 --> 01:25:48,271 'Cause I gotta give our little boat a mop, mop, mop 1104 01:25:53,614 --> 01:25:56,276 As I look back on it now... 1105 01:25:56,350 --> 01:25:59,183 our life together was like a gay musical number... 1106 01:25:59,253 --> 01:26:02,188 from one of those big, Hollywood movie musicals. 1107 01:26:02,256 --> 01:26:06,352 On our little houseboat 1108 01:26:06,426 --> 01:26:11,955 Built for two 1109 01:26:13,033 --> 01:26:16,992 Tiny little houseboat 1110 01:26:17,070 --> 01:26:21,006 Just for me 1111 01:26:21,074 --> 01:26:24,635 And you 1112 01:26:36,456 --> 01:26:41,189 All alone together 1113 01:26:41,261 --> 01:26:45,129 Only me 1114 01:26:45,199 --> 01:26:49,727 And yo-o-ou 1115 01:26:49,803 --> 01:26:55,764 My Darling 1116 01:26:55,843 --> 01:26:59,643 - On our houseboat on the Hudson Alone, alone together 1117 01:26:59,713 --> 01:27:03,376 Life is rosy on the Hudson in any brand of weather 1118 01:27:03,450 --> 01:27:06,977 Far from city streets and far from hills of heather 1119 01:27:07,054 --> 01:27:10,353 Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the time 1120 01:27:10,424 --> 01:27:12,585 Well, heigh-ho, let's go 1121 01:27:12,659 --> 01:27:14,593 Life is just a vaudeville show 1122 01:27:14,661 --> 01:27:16,595 - Sing and dance - Take a chance 1123 01:28:20,527 --> 01:28:24,088 All alone together 1124 01:28:24,164 --> 01:28:27,429 Only me 1125 01:28:27,501 --> 01:28:30,629 - And you On our houseboat on the Hudson, alone 1126 01:28:30,704 --> 01:28:35,505 Alone together, life is rosy on the Hudson in any brand of weather 1127 01:28:35,575 --> 01:28:39,011 Far from city streets and far from hills of heather 1128 01:28:39,079 --> 01:28:42,537 Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the time 1129 01:28:42,616 --> 01:28:47,383 - Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the time 1130 01:29:53,620 --> 01:29:56,111 On our houseboat on the Hudson, alone 1131 01:29:56,189 --> 01:30:00,455 Alone together, life is rosy on the Hudson in any brand of weather 1132 01:30:00,527 --> 01:30:04,224 Far from city streets and far from hills of heather 1133 01:30:04,297 --> 01:30:09,257 Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the 1134 01:30:09,336 --> 01:30:12,499 Time 1135 01:30:12,572 --> 01:30:16,235 Oh, anchors aweigh and hit the deck, Louisa 1136 01:30:16,309 --> 01:30:19,870 It's ship ahoy We're on the town with you 1137 01:30:19,946 --> 01:30:23,712 You follow the fleet and tars and spars, Louisa 1138 01:30:23,784 --> 01:30:27,413 For us you are the captain and the crew 1139 01:30:35,162 --> 01:30:42,266 Oh, how we love Louisa 1140 01:30:42,335 --> 01:30:48,296 She's sent from heaven up above 1141 01:30:49,376 --> 01:30:52,834 Just like the tower of Pisa 1142 01:30:52,913 --> 01:30:55,848 There's only one Louisa 1143 01:30:55,916 --> 01:30:59,613 L-O 1144 01:30:59,686 --> 01:31:03,122 V-E 1145 01:31:03,190 --> 01:31:08,355 Love 1146 01:31:16,069 --> 01:31:19,129 Love. 1147 01:31:19,239 --> 01:31:22,402 Then it began to happen. 1148 01:31:22,476 --> 01:31:26,640 We were planning a birthday party for Pinky after the last show. 1149 01:31:26,713 --> 01:31:29,682 Well, I guess we got everything: The hot dogs, the rolls, and... 1150 01:31:29,749 --> 01:31:32,718 - Hey! Look at the clock. I gotta get made up. - Oh, you've got time. 1151 01:31:32,786 --> 01:31:35,220 No. I don't. I have less than two hours. 1152 01:31:35,288 --> 01:31:39,088 It takes you two hours to get out of that makeup. You'll be late for your party. 1153 01:31:39,159 --> 01:31:42,617 - Couldn't you just skip it? - Skip the performance? 1154 01:31:42,696 --> 01:31:45,665 No. Skip the makeup, I mean. Do it just as you are. 1155 01:31:45,732 --> 01:31:47,791 Oh, don't be silly, darling. The makeup's the whole act. 1156 01:31:47,868 --> 01:31:50,063 - Here's the bucket of lemonade, Pinky. - Thank you. 1157 01:31:50,137 --> 01:31:54,233 Thank you. Mr. Trentino, because of the party... 1158 01:31:54,307 --> 01:31:58,539 would it be all right if... if Pinky went on tonight without putting on all his stuff? 1159 01:31:58,612 --> 01:32:02,275 Sure! You don't wanna miss your own birthday party. 1160 01:32:02,349 --> 01:32:04,977 - Okay, honey? - Oh, uh... 1161 01:32:05,051 --> 01:32:07,747 I'll feel... I'll feel naked. I... 1162 01:32:07,821 --> 01:32:10,483 Well, leave out the verses too. 1163 01:32:10,557 --> 01:32:13,219 Leave out the verses? 1164 01:32:13,293 --> 01:32:15,227 Just this once. 1165 01:32:17,430 --> 01:32:21,628 Well, all right, on account of the party, but... 1166 01:32:21,701 --> 01:32:24,033 I feel funny. I... 1167 01:32:24,104 --> 01:32:26,834 I'm gonna lay an awful egg. 1168 01:32:26,907 --> 01:32:28,841 - And now for your enjoyment... - Who ordered the well-done... 1169 01:32:28,909 --> 01:32:31,901 - New Jersey's own ha-ha boy... - green peas, succotash? 1170 01:32:31,978 --> 01:32:34,469 - Uh-Pinky uh-Benson! - Let's get outta here. 1171 01:32:34,548 --> 01:32:37,540 Waiter, check! 1172 01:32:40,020 --> 01:32:44,218 Well, I... 1173 01:32:44,291 --> 01:32:46,521 - Frankie dropped him in the second... 1174 01:32:46,593 --> 01:32:48,891 - because I said, "Hey... " - It was the fifth. 1175 01:32:48,962 --> 01:32:51,795 - I was there. - Mr. Trentino, may we have some relish? 1176 01:32:51,865 --> 01:32:53,799 Sure. Help yourself. 1177 01:32:53,867 --> 01:32:57,564 - One rare, hashed brown. - I ordered French fries! 1178 01:33:02,509 --> 01:33:07,640 - I think that you and I should get acquainted - Who ordered the well-done? 1179 01:33:07,714 --> 01:33:12,174 I'll just come up to you and ask your name 1180 01:33:12,252 --> 01:33:17,383 I'll tell you mine, I'll say isn't the weather fine 1181 01:33:17,457 --> 01:33:22,918 - And aren't you really glad so glad that you came 1182 01:33:22,996 --> 01:33:28,332 - Then after you and I become acquainted 1183 01:33:28,401 --> 01:33:30,892 I'll ask you if you'd like to stay 1184 01:33:30,971 --> 01:33:33,599 - A while - Hey, doc. 1185 01:33:33,673 --> 01:33:35,971 - Who do you got... Sh! - You'll say you would 1186 01:33:36,042 --> 01:33:37,976 You'll give me a smile 1187 01:33:38,044 --> 01:33:43,744 Aw, goody-good You'll make my evenin' worthwhile 1188 01:33:43,817 --> 01:33:48,982 And before our little rendezvous ends 1189 01:33:49,055 --> 01:33:53,617 We won't be just acquainted 1190 01:33:53,693 --> 01:33:58,790 We'll be the very very best of friends 1191 01:35:01,593 --> 01:35:03,686 Bravo! Bravo! 1192 01:35:05,464 --> 01:35:07,455 Bravo! 1193 01:35:30,956 --> 01:35:35,188 I think that you and I should get acquainted 1194 01:35:37,963 --> 01:35:39,931 I've grown accustomed to this place. 1195 01:35:47,139 --> 01:35:49,767 What! Caesar! 1196 01:35:49,842 --> 01:35:52,140 - Cut. Print. - Magnificent, Pinky. 1197 01:35:52,211 --> 01:35:55,840 - Wonderful, Pinky. - Magnificent. I'll never direct a better actor. 1198 01:35:55,914 --> 01:36:00,044 - And to think they wanted to put that Welshman in the part. 1199 01:36:07,226 --> 01:36:09,387 Well, I was still near water... 1200 01:36:09,461 --> 01:36:12,589 sitting by our beautiful Hollywood pool alone. 1201 01:36:12,664 --> 01:36:15,292 I had done it again, and I had lost Pinky... 1202 01:36:15,367 --> 01:36:19,428 lost him to fame, fortune, his agents, publicity men, secretaries... 1203 01:36:19,505 --> 01:36:21,564 and his adoring fans. 1204 01:36:21,640 --> 01:36:24,541 How about my preview in Westwood last night, huh? 1205 01:36:24,610 --> 01:36:26,942 - What a gas. - Sure was, Pinky. 1206 01:36:27,012 --> 01:36:31,244 All those Pinky Benson fans screaming, yelling, crying... 1207 01:36:31,316 --> 01:36:35,753 Ah-ha. The little people. I love 'em. I love 'em. 1208 01:36:35,821 --> 01:36:38,381 And if the studio tries to cut one minute of that film... 1209 01:36:38,457 --> 01:36:41,654 I'm gonna burn that nuthouse to the ground. 1210 01:36:41,727 --> 01:36:45,254 Five and a half hours is not too long for a Pinky Benson fan. 1211 01:36:45,330 --> 01:36:47,298 Yes, Mr. Benson. 1212 01:36:47,366 --> 01:36:51,234 Now, about the premiere. Everybody on the ball. See? 1213 01:36:53,005 --> 01:36:54,939 Hi, Louisa. 1214 01:36:55,007 --> 01:36:58,340 Hi, Pinky. Going in for a dip? 1215 01:36:58,410 --> 01:37:00,401 No. I'm goin' to Brown Derby. 1216 01:37:00,479 --> 01:37:02,504 I got a business luncheon with these creeps. 1217 01:37:02,581 --> 01:37:05,573 - Ciao, baby. - Ain't you gonna change? 1218 01:37:05,651 --> 01:37:09,212 - What for? - You know you can't get in the Derby without a tie on. 1219 01:37:09,288 --> 01:37:12,086 Geez. 1220 01:37:12,157 --> 01:37:15,615 And Pinky, after lunch you gotta tape a speech to send to Jersey City. 1221 01:37:15,694 --> 01:37:18,720 - Yeah, you told me. What's it for? - Pinky Benson Day. 1222 01:37:18,797 --> 01:37:20,788 Big ceremony in your honor. 1223 01:37:20,866 --> 01:37:25,633 Citizens are getting together to paint the front of the house you were born in in pink. 1224 01:37:25,704 --> 01:37:27,968 Yeah? 1225 01:37:28,040 --> 01:37:31,532 Gee. That's kinda sweet. 1226 01:37:31,610 --> 01:37:36,377 - I wonder who thought o' that? - I did. 1227 01:37:36,448 --> 01:37:40,179 Yeah? Well, here's an idea from me. What's the matter with this place? 1228 01:37:40,252 --> 01:37:42,846 The fans in the busses go by here every afternoon. 1229 01:37:42,921 --> 01:37:46,357 Let's let 'em know without a doubt which house is Pinky's house! 1230 01:38:39,111 --> 01:38:42,171 Yes. Yes, it is! Pinky Benson. 1231 01:38:42,247 --> 01:38:45,705 He's arriving in his famous, all-pink Rolls-Royce. 1232 01:38:45,784 --> 01:38:48,082 Oh, I've never seen anything like this. 1233 01:38:48,153 --> 01:38:51,919 I've covered the biggest of all premieres: Ben-Hur, Cleopatra. 1234 01:38:51,990 --> 01:38:55,551 But this, Flaming Lips... this is the biggest of them all. 1235 01:38:55,627 --> 01:38:58,528 All the greats in show business are here tonight... 1236 01:38:58,597 --> 01:39:00,792 the great and the near-great... 1237 01:39:00,866 --> 01:39:03,426 and all the little people... 1238 01:39:03,502 --> 01:39:06,938 Awaiting the premiere of Flaming Lips. 1239 01:39:07,005 --> 01:39:12,966 Mrs. Pinky Benson seems to be wearing a pink... all-pink chinchilla coat. 1240 01:39:13,045 --> 01:39:16,811 Now he's introducing Mrs. Pinky Benson to the crowd. 1241 01:39:16,882 --> 01:39:19,373 Oh, this is fabulous. 1242 01:39:24,790 --> 01:39:28,521 The crowd is roaring so much. I hope you can hear me, ladies and gentlemen. 1243 01:39:28,594 --> 01:39:30,585 I have never seen a premiere like this. 1244 01:39:30,662 --> 01:39:33,153 And now they're going into the theater, as Pinky Benson... 1245 01:39:33,231 --> 01:39:35,631 Tonight, in Flaming Lips, Pinky Benson proved... 1246 01:39:35,701 --> 01:39:38,898 that a comedy can run five and a half hours. 1247 01:39:38,971 --> 01:39:43,237 Earlier today, Pinky told us his next film will run seven and a half hours. 1248 01:39:43,308 --> 01:39:45,606 - Listen to that applause! - Oh, Pinky, baby, you were right. 1249 01:39:45,677 --> 01:39:48,373 - This is a gas! - This is the greatest thing you've ever done. 1250 01:39:48,447 --> 01:39:51,143 I don't ever want to direct another actor for the rest of my life. 1251 01:39:51,216 --> 01:39:54,811 Thank you, pal. Let's get rid of that creep. I'll direct the next one myself. 1252 01:39:54,886 --> 01:39:57,878 This picture is a cinch to do 50 million at the box office. 1253 01:39:57,956 --> 01:39:59,981 - Yeah. Too bad I only get half of that. - Yeah. 1254 01:40:00,058 --> 01:40:03,152 And the studio wants you to co-star with Frank, Marlon and Cary... 1255 01:40:03,228 --> 01:40:05,696 - in a remake of The Four Horsemen. - Well! 1256 01:40:05,764 --> 01:40:09,666 - Why should I carry those deadweights? I'll play all four. - We want Pinky! 1257 01:40:09,735 --> 01:40:12,363 - And he can do it too. - Let's get out of here. The mob is coming. 1258 01:40:12,437 --> 01:40:17,033 - Break it up. Break it up. Everybody outta the way. - We want Pinky! We want Pinky! 1259 01:40:17,109 --> 01:40:20,010 Mr. Benson, you was divine! 1260 01:40:20,078 --> 01:40:24,879 - Just divine! - And now, coming to our cameras, the co-star of Flaming Lips... 1261 01:40:24,950 --> 01:40:28,477 Miss Linda Putty... another Pinky Benson discovery. 1262 01:40:28,553 --> 01:40:32,922 Making new discoveries is the basis of our industry. 1263 01:40:32,991 --> 01:40:34,925 And now, coming to our microphone... 1264 01:40:34,993 --> 01:40:40,090 here she is, Mrs. Pinky Benson. 1265 01:40:40,165 --> 01:40:42,895 My wife has always been my inspiration. 1266 01:40:42,968 --> 01:40:44,959 Pinky, we'll never get out the front way. 1267 01:40:45,037 --> 01:40:48,632 - Why don't you just slip out the side way, darling? - Yes. I guess so. But I... 1268 01:40:48,707 --> 01:40:50,641 I hate to do this to them. 1269 01:40:50,709 --> 01:40:52,904 After all, I'm what they came to see. 1270 01:40:52,978 --> 01:40:56,209 - Yeah. We know. Come on. This way. - Let's go, Pinky. That's all. 1271 01:40:56,281 --> 01:41:00,047 We want Pinky! We want Pinky! 1272 01:41:00,118 --> 01:41:06,079 - The little people. I love 'em. Love 'em. 1273 01:41:11,229 --> 01:41:13,959 Ah, bless 'em. I can't let 'em down. 1274 01:41:14,032 --> 01:41:17,195 After all, I'm the stuff their dreams are made of. 1275 01:41:17,269 --> 01:41:19,965 I belong to them. 1276 01:41:20,038 --> 01:41:22,802 Hey, fellas. Fellas! 1277 01:41:22,874 --> 01:41:27,402 Look who's here. It's me. It's your Pinky! 1278 01:41:28,480 --> 01:41:30,778 Look! It's Pinky! 1279 01:41:30,849 --> 01:41:35,548 Pinky! Pinky! 1280 01:42:22,734 --> 01:42:25,999 Ah, yes, Miss Benson. I know. I know. 1281 01:42:26,071 --> 01:42:29,700 But it's "Willsville Time in Dixie," and we've gotta face the facts... 1282 01:42:29,775 --> 01:42:31,709 death wise, that is. 1283 01:42:31,777 --> 01:42:35,679 So I'm gonna give it to you short and sweet. You get all the moo. All of it. 1284 01:42:35,747 --> 01:42:37,681 But there's one catch. 1285 01:42:39,584 --> 01:42:44,453 "And so I order to be built the Pinky Benson Memorial Museum, dedicated to my fans... 1286 01:42:44,523 --> 01:42:48,152 "and within it will be preserved all my dancing shoes dipped in bronze... 1287 01:42:48,226 --> 01:42:50,990 "and a giant gold replica of my larynx. 1288 01:42:51,062 --> 01:42:53,826 "A permanent, pink light will burn before my statue... 1289 01:42:53,899 --> 01:42:58,927 "and in the 15,000-seat auditorium, my pictures will run 24 hours a day. 1290 01:42:59,004 --> 01:43:03,532 Everything else I bequeath to my wife, Louisa May Benson." 1291 01:43:05,143 --> 01:43:06,872 Pinky was right. 1292 01:43:06,945 --> 01:43:09,072 He did belong to his fans... 1293 01:43:09,147 --> 01:43:11,377 forever. 1294 01:43:11,449 --> 01:43:14,680 He was such a sweet man when I met him. 1295 01:43:14,753 --> 01:43:18,382 - And then came... - Well, that's all. 1296 01:43:18,456 --> 01:43:21,619 Why? Isn't that enough? 1297 01:43:21,693 --> 01:43:23,820 Oh, I was left with another $30 million... 1298 01:43:23,895 --> 01:43:28,491 and I flew right here to Washington and that brings us up to date. 1299 01:43:28,567 --> 01:43:32,526 And I'm gonna give that money away. The government's not gonna stop me either, and neither are you. 1300 01:43:33,538 --> 01:43:36,166 Please answer my question, Dr. Steffanson. 1301 01:43:36,241 --> 01:43:39,677 Am I a witch, or am I not? 1302 01:43:42,914 --> 01:43:46,714 Well, you haven't said anything for the last two husbands. 1303 01:43:50,889 --> 01:43:54,518 - Well, you're not even listening to me. - Uh, who? Uh, what? 1304 01:43:54,593 --> 01:43:56,925 - Well, you're an analyst! - Huh? 1305 01:43:56,995 --> 01:43:59,657 - Analyze! - Oh, that. Yes. 1306 01:43:59,731 --> 01:44:02,256 Uh, now, let me see. Um, you... you got married... 1307 01:44:02,334 --> 01:44:05,235 to four men for love, mm-hmm? 1308 01:44:05,303 --> 01:44:07,498 All of them were doomed to success and extinction. 1309 01:44:07,572 --> 01:44:10,598 There was Hopper, Flint, Anderson and... and Benson. 1310 01:44:10,675 --> 01:44:14,338 And one man... one man you hated. That was Leonard Crawley. 1311 01:44:14,412 --> 01:44:16,903 Well, that's a very strong emotion, hate. 1312 01:44:16,982 --> 01:44:19,348 Say, you... I think, for... 1313 01:44:19,417 --> 01:44:22,284 Wait a minute. What do you expect of me? Instant analysis? 1314 01:44:22,354 --> 01:44:25,983 Why-Why your case might take 24 hours a day for the next 50 years. 1315 01:44:26,057 --> 01:44:28,617 In other words, Louisa... 1316 01:44:29,694 --> 01:44:32,788 Would you marry me? 1317 01:44:32,864 --> 01:44:36,527 - Dr. Steffanson... - If it's simplicity you want, you should see my apartment. 1318 01:44:36,601 --> 01:44:41,004 I'm a dedicated man of science, and I'm so tired washing out my own socks. 1319 01:44:41,072 --> 01:44:43,006 What do you say, Louisa? 1320 01:44:43,074 --> 01:44:49,035 - Victor, I'm honored that you'd risk your life for me. - Thank you. 1321 01:44:49,114 --> 01:44:52,606 But it isn't fair. I simply don't love you. 1322 01:44:52,684 --> 01:44:54,652 No? 1323 01:44:54,719 --> 01:44:58,621 But would you mail my check in for me anyway? 1324 01:44:58,690 --> 01:45:00,885 Oh, please don't feel so bad. 1325 01:45:00,959 --> 01:45:03,257 Maybe you helped me after all. 1326 01:45:03,328 --> 01:45:07,196 I said "yes" to four men and I said "no" to you. Isn't that progress? 1327 01:45:07,265 --> 01:45:09,199 Of a sorts, I guess. 1328 01:45:09,267 --> 01:45:12,566 You see, after listening to my accumulated life story... 1329 01:45:12,637 --> 01:45:15,401 you naturally assumed that I'd say "yes." 1330 01:45:15,473 --> 01:45:18,169 But you were wrong. 1331 01:45:18,243 --> 01:45:20,234 - Wrong? - Yes. 1332 01:45:20,312 --> 01:45:23,042 I was wrong. 1333 01:45:23,114 --> 01:45:27,107 I... I have the strangest... tingling sensation in my... 1334 01:45:29,387 --> 01:45:31,981 Dr. Stef... Victor, are you all right? 1335 01:45:32,057 --> 01:45:34,150 Wake up, Doctor! Oh, dear. 1336 01:45:34,225 --> 01:45:37,285 How do I get... I've got to... Oh! 1337 01:45:37,362 --> 01:45:40,058 - Oh, please help me. - Oh, excuse me. I, uh... 1338 01:45:40,131 --> 01:45:43,726 Would you please press that button and let this thing down? 1339 01:45:43,802 --> 01:45:46,236 Dr. Steffanson. 1340 01:45:58,450 --> 01:46:01,851 Ma'am, I... What? Louisa? 1341 01:46:02,988 --> 01:46:05,923 - Leonard Crawley! - Mm. 1342 01:46:05,991 --> 01:46:08,425 What happened to the doctor? 1343 01:46:08,493 --> 01:46:11,223 Uh, he fell off. 1344 01:46:11,296 --> 01:46:13,230 Well, he always does. 1345 01:46:13,298 --> 01:46:17,001 Dr. Steffanson. 1346 01:46:19,670 --> 01:46:23,162 Doctor? Doctor. 1347 01:46:24,508 --> 01:46:26,976 - Leonard. - Hmm? 1348 01:46:27,044 --> 01:46:28,978 - You're the custodian here. - What? 1349 01:46:29,046 --> 01:46:32,072 Now, look, Louisa, let's call a spade a spade. 1350 01:46:32,149 --> 01:46:35,312 - I'm the janitor here. - Oh, how awful! 1351 01:46:35,386 --> 01:46:39,720 Oh, no, no, no. I deserved it. You know... "poetic justice" it's called. 1352 01:46:39,790 --> 01:46:43,521 - But in a way, I ruined your life too. - Oh, no. You made it. 1353 01:46:43,594 --> 01:46:47,894 In fact, you know, when I lost everything, I just began to live. 1354 01:46:47,965 --> 01:46:50,263 And... And I'll always be grateful to you... 1355 01:46:50,334 --> 01:46:52,894 and your friend. 1356 01:46:52,970 --> 01:46:55,803 - Thoreau! - Mm-hmm. He said, "Simplify." 1357 01:46:55,873 --> 01:46:58,865 And you can't get much more simpler than bein' a janitor. 1358 01:47:00,477 --> 01:47:02,411 - Leonard. - Mm-hmm? 1359 01:47:02,479 --> 01:47:05,380 You're the only man in the world I ever really hated. 1360 01:47:06,450 --> 01:47:08,918 Hate's a very strong emotion, you know? 1361 01:47:08,986 --> 01:47:12,513 But I think the thing I hated most was that I knew... 1362 01:47:12,589 --> 01:47:15,114 that deep down, under that small-town emperor... 1363 01:47:15,192 --> 01:47:18,252 there was a human being that I wanted to know... 1364 01:47:18,328 --> 01:47:20,819 and you wouldn't let come out. 1365 01:47:44,688 --> 01:47:46,622 Leonard, lunch! 1366 01:47:46,690 --> 01:47:50,126 - Hey, Mom. - All right, honey. Now, you spread these around. 1367 01:47:50,194 --> 01:47:52,685 Jonathan, lunch! 1368 01:47:55,099 --> 01:47:58,068 Hey. Look, Mom. Look what I caught. 1369 01:47:58,135 --> 01:48:01,127 - Sharks! - Well. Wonderful. We'll have these for dinner. 1370 01:48:01,205 --> 01:48:03,139 Now, help your brother. 1371 01:48:03,207 --> 01:48:07,200 Geraldine, lunch, honey! 1372 01:48:08,679 --> 01:48:13,844 - Now, don't you drop this. - What do you think I am, a baby? 1373 01:48:13,917 --> 01:48:18,854 All right. All right. Help is on the way. 1374 01:48:23,994 --> 01:48:26,690 - Here's the chair, Mom. - Okay. 1375 01:48:26,763 --> 01:48:31,462 - All right, children. You can start your milk now. - Aren't we gonna wait for Daddy? 1376 01:48:31,535 --> 01:48:34,698 Nope. Daddy's finishing the plowing he started this morning. 1377 01:48:39,643 --> 01:48:44,376 - And the princess had four beautiful children: 1378 01:48:44,448 --> 01:48:50,409 Leonard and Jonathan and Geraldine and Butch. 1379 01:48:50,487 --> 01:48:54,514 And they all lived happily ever after. 1380 01:49:19,349 --> 01:49:23,410 Louisa! 1381 01:49:23,487 --> 01:49:26,513 It's oil! It's oil! 1382 01:49:26,590 --> 01:49:31,254 Louisa! Look! It's oil. It's oil! Look at it. 1383 01:49:33,263 --> 01:49:36,721 It... can't be happening. It can't be true. 1384 01:49:36,800 --> 01:49:39,030 It can't be happening! 1385 01:49:39,102 --> 01:49:44,938 But it is, Louisa. It's real. 1386 01:49:45,008 --> 01:49:47,806 Hey! Look at this. It's real! It's oil! 1387 01:49:47,878 --> 01:49:49,812 You bet it's real. And it's ours! 1388 01:49:49,880 --> 01:49:52,041 - Yours? - Yes, you idiot! It belongs to us. 1389 01:49:52,115 --> 01:49:54,948 You punched a hole in our pipeline. 1390 01:49:55,018 --> 01:49:57,316 - It's not ours? - No. It's ours! 1391 01:50:04,361 --> 01:50:08,297 My wonderful, wonderful failure. 116517