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1
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,028
(RECORD SCRATCHING)
2
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,655
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
3
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:41,284
RYAN: Every group of friends
has that one song
4
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,365
that no matter where you are
5
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,872
or what you're doing,
it pulls you out of your seat.
6
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,921
That was me and my crew,
The Flossy Posse.
7
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,249
(CROWD CHEERING)
8
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,047
I know, trust me.
9
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:57,050
Everything you had?
We had it and did it better.
10
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,685
But those were my girls,
11
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,107
thinking we were
the baddest chicks
in the game.
12
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:10,893
(ALL LAUGHING)
13
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:12,945
Definitely the baddest
chicks at FAMU.
14
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,113
ALL: Flossy Posse.
15
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,908
(WOMEN CHEERING)
16
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,573
RYAN: There was Sasha.
17
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,406
A journalism major
with intelligence to shine
18
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,832
on the country's
most respected publications.
19
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,878
Then she ended up doing
a, um, different kind of
journalism.
20
00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:33,003
It may not be
Pulitzer Prize-winning...
21
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:34,424
(SCREAMING)
22
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,876
RYAN: ...but she's
making it happen.
23
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,220
She's gonna be fine.
I don't even know why...
24
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,715
We've gone
through this before.
RYAN: Here she comes.
25
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,258
RYAN: There was Dina.
26
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:44,768
She was a risk-taker.
27
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,521
It's chlamydia, y'all!
That shit should
get cured! Ay!
28
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:49,602
RYAN: But that's our girl.
29
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,979
Of course, there's Lisa.
30
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:56,648
Despite being
the sexy party girl,
she was a natural nurturer.
31
00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:01,197
She gave love even
when it didn't love her.
32
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,657
(SNIFFLING)
33
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:07,912
ALL: Aww...
34
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:10,495
Come here, baby! Aww!
35
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:13,043
RYAN: Me? I'm Ryan Pierce.
36
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,214
Successful author...
37
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,542
You write best-selling books,
you cook on talk shows,
38
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,969
you make appearances
all across the country.
39
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,300
How do you have
time for a life?
40
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,930
As women, we're told
41
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,512
that we have to choose
between the personal
and the professional,
42
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:28,020
but I control
my own destiny.
I am strong,
43
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,681
I am powerful,
I am beautiful.
44
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,893
If I will it,
I can have it all.
45
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,561
RYAN: Married my
college sweetheart...
46
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,446
I'm a huge fan, Stewart.
Thank you.
47
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,106
RADIO DJ: But I do have
a question for you.
48
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:42,072
How does a former
All-Pro tight end
like yourself,
49
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,111
how do you hook up
with the second
coming of Oprah?
50
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,823
Ryan's strength
has always been
51
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,329
making others
their best selves,
52
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,081
and I knew I needed
that in my life.
53
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:53,583
I married my best friend.
54
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,256
Yeah, you got him, girl!
55
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:58,213
RYAN: And the Flossy Posse
was there to witness.
56
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,384
We were ride or die.
57
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,422
But sometimes,
words go unsaid,
58
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:05,007
disagreements go unresolved.
59
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:08,226
You still talk on the phone,
keep up on social media,
60
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,097
but a year goes by
where you don't
see each other.
61
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,311
And that year turns to five,
62
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:17,020
and before you know it,
you're so busy trying
to get what you want
63
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,900
that one day you look up
and find out
64
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,652
that the thing
you loved the most,
your crew,
65
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:25,156
the people
who make you feel at home
no matter where you are,
66
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,950
they're gone.
67
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,411
(WOMAN LAUGHING)
68
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,122
LIZ: Yeah, I heard you.
No, I gotta go.
69
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,883
I have to ask the question
to get the answer. Okay, bye.
70
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,134
Hey, sweetheart. Ryan?
71
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,341
Ryan? Hey!
Earth to Ryan!
72
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,553
Honey, listen. I know
that you are exhausted.
73
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,759
I got you running
all over this planet
doing this book,
74
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:52,722
but the Essence folks
just called and...
75
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,898
And
76
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,525
they want you to be
the keynote speaker
this year.
77
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,822
Yeah, it's VIP,
five-star treatment
all the way.
78
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,115
You just sign some books,
sign some autographs,
79
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:06,243
shake hands, you have
heaps of praise...
80
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,911
RYAN: (NARRATING)
And that's whenyou realize
81
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,535
that the Flossy Posse
needs to ride again.
82
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,410
Tell them I'd be honored.
83
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,541
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
84
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:21,835
You can purchase
Ryan Pierce's latest
New York Times bestseller,
85
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:25,171
You Can Have It All,
in New Orleans
at Essence Fest.
86
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,426
Well, speaking about
"You Can Have It All,"
87
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,849
when are you two
going to start a family?
88
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,266
Oh, God...
Because we know you would
make beautiful babies.
89
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,598
Trust me,
it is on the agenda.
90
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,226
No, I need you to
bring me something
I can use,
91
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,526
something good.
92
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,232
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
93
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,067
Let me call you back.
94
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,865
Bill, look,
I know why you're upset,
95
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,863
but I can't make people
click on your ads.
96
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,327
BILL: Well,
you better do something.
97
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,163
You guaranteed me
eyeballs on your site,
and I'm losing money, Sasha.
98
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,994
Well, I'm going to
Essence Fest this weekend.
99
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,835
Me and my girl, Ryan Pierce,
will be up in all
the hot VIP spots.
100
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,213
BILL: Ryan Pierce?
Any dirt on her?
101
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,501
Absolutely not.
102
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,137
Plus, I can't invent scandal.
103
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,010
But I guarantee you,
nine months from now,
104
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,842
there's gonna be
a lot of babies
named "Essence."
105
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,269
Cute, Sasha,not helpful.
(SCOFFS)
106
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:17,565
Just give me a few more days
to increase views.
107
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,766
Please.
108
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:22,194
(SIGHS) Post somethingyour viewers wanna seethis weekend,
109
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,315
or we're done.
110
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:25,697
Hold, please.
111
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,776
Yeah, motherfucker!
Eat a bowl of dicks,
motherfucker!
112
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,031
You know you need me!
113
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,237
I'm the bitch
in these streets!
114
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,993
BILL: You've put me
on FaceTime.
115
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,245
Oh, my God.
116
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,668
(LINE BEEPING)
117
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,210
Shit!
118
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,922
Oh, no, no, no!
That's my car!
119
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,468
Dina, it has come
to my attention
120
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,800
that you had
a bit of a conflict
with a fellow employee.
121
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,639
No, not really.
122
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,224
I didn't know
it was your lunch!
123
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,896
(BOTH SHOUTING)
124
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,683
DINA: Stupid motherfucker!
125
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,361
(SCREAMS)
Don't you run from me!
126
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,732
The point is, physically
assaulting a co-worker
127
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,075
because he accidentally
stole your lunch...
128
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,657
Accidentally?
Is that what he told you?
129
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,617
He knew that was
my Go-Gurt.
130
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,873
That motherfucker is
crazy for that shit.
131
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,079
Be that as it may,
132
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,582
this is not the first time
something like this
has happened.
133
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,918
I'm gonna need
to terminate you.
134
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,384
I'm letting you go.
135
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,712
Word?
Word.
136
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,387
Ahh.
137
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,465
Yeah.
Good looking out, Ted.
138
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,138
Thanks for
letting me go, man.
139
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,804
Appreciate that,
nothing but water
under the bridge.
140
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,013
I'm gonna go
and get back to work.
141
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,394
No, there's no water
and no bridge.
You're fired.
142
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,228
Why you making me feel like
I'm on The Apprentice
or something?
143
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,654
Look, I get it.
144
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:51,572
You're upset, I shouldn't
be throwing things in
a "place of work."
145
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,828
Why are you making air quotes?
This is a place of work.
146
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,201
Lesson learned.
147
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,832
Oh, you're so
understanding.
Oh, oh, oh!
148
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:02,253
By the way,
I'm going to Essence Fest
this weekend with my girls.
149
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,959
We about to turnt up!
So I'm gonna need Friday off.
150
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,296
(CHUCKLING) Okay.
Uh, you can have
all days off, Dina,
151
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,177
because you
no longer work here.
152
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,258
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
153
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,721
Totally,
see you bright and early
Tuesday morning.
154
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,435
Plus or minus a few hours
depending on traffic.
155
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,188
Dina, we're not done yet!
156
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,519
Yes, we are.
TED: Dina!
157
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,683
Okay, Ted. (CHUCKLES)
158
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,603
Snitches get stitches.
Oh, shit!
159
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,563
Dina, you need
to grow up!
160
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:30,739
DINA: Mmm-hmm.
161
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,741
Bath time,
homework time,
snack time.
162
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,490
Seaweed chips,
cucumber rounds
without the skin.
163
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,872
Bed time,
8:00 p.m. sharp.
164
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:39,949
(LAUGHING)
165
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,242
Ma...
166
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,127
I need you to focus.
167
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,754
Would you calm down?
168
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,381
I have raised kids before.
169
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,709
And some of them
turned out okay.
170
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,716
You know what? Forget it,
I'm just gonna stay.
I'm gonna stay.
171
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,423
Because I can't
have these kids
172
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,053
deviate from their
schedule in any way,
173
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,349
it just messes
everything up.
174
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,302
So forget it.
What up, bitch!
175
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,813
(LAUGHS) Oh, what's good,
Miss Miller?
176
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:04,814
Hello, Dina.
177
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,312
Have you heard of
a doorbell?
178
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,485
Uh, have you heard
of locking doors?
179
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,733
There's crazy
people out there.
(GIGGLES)
180
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,274
You ready to get turnt?
No, I'm not going,
181
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,192
because I don't wanna
leave the kids alone!
No!
182
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,485
It's not gonna work!
No!
183
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,571
For once, I agree with Dina
and her foul mouth.
184
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,666
She needs this trip
so she can go off
and get some love,
185
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,493
so she can stop
being so grouchy
all the time.
186
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,706
Ma!
187
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,871
Your mama know
there's cobwebs
on that thing.
188
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,255
You know what?
189
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,833
DINA: Sorry.
(GIGGLING)
190
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,543
(GASPS) Aw...
191
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,470
BOTH: Bye, Mama!
Oh, my goodness!
192
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,598
LISA: I'm gonna
miss you so much.
193
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,554
Heifer, you are not
going off to war.
194
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:43,307
Go, go, I beg of you, go!
195
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:46,607
(CHUCKLING)
We'll be fine.
You are so silly.
196
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,814
Scrubs, really?
That's what you're doing?
197
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,358
What's wrong with this?
Uh-huh. We're not
going nowhere
198
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,443
until we see you with
some camel toe, okay?
199
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,358
No, I don't do camel toe.
200
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,194
Okay, well, you can't
just show forearm!
201
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,403
That's not sexy.
All right, Dina!
202
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,033
What? Are you going
to teach first grade?
203
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,697
Who wears socks this
thick in New Orleans?
204
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,583
Nobody.
All right.
I've organized everything.
205
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,664
What is this,
the Bidi Bidi Bom Bom
collection?
206
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,420
Is this a Care Bear?
Don't touch my things!
207
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,376
As usual, you guys
fucking killed it!
208
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,930
And I'm not the only one
who thought so.
209
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,517
Are you gonna tell us
who else thought so?
210
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:23,889
(SCOFFS)
211
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,017
You have no patience
for dramatic revelation!
212
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,231
Fine.
213
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,561
Bethany Marshall,
the head of marketing
from Best Mart, thought so,
214
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,441
and...
215
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,190
And what else?
(GRUNTS)
216
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:40,949
She wants
to launch an exclusive
"Ryan and Stewart" collection
217
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:44,407
and underwrite
a "Ryan and Stewart"
talk show!
218
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,574
Boom!
219
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:46,874
Wait, are you serious?
220
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,167
Yes, I'm serious!
221
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,619
That's amazing!
222
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:50,749
I know!
223
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,333
She said, and I quote,
"They're both just so real."
224
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,084
She's gonna send
her business affair peeps
225
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,761
down to New Orleans
this weekend
to make the offer.
226
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,221
They wanna launch
by end of year.
227
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,098
(BOTH LAUGHING)
That's amazing!
228
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,930
RYAN: Thank you!
229
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,853
Honey, thank you!
We're gonna be rich!
We're gonna be rich!
230
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,354
And thank you!
231
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,104
Hey, babe, I gotta head out
or I'm gonna miss my flight.
232
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,987
But I will see you
and the Flossy Posse
in New Orleans.
233
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,271
Yes.
All right.
234
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,990
I love you.
I love you.
235
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,992
In love with you.
I'm in love with you.
236
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,704
I love you! (LAUGHS)
Come here!
237
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,280
Aw... (LAUGHS)
238
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,498
Thanks.
239
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:27,574
Whoo!
240
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:28,951
Hmm.
241
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,035
Oh!
242
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,370
Oh!
243
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:32,837
I'm so lonely.
244
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,581
(MOANING)
245
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,634
Oh, you smell good.
246
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:38,961
She bought it for me.
247
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,176
Sorry, go before
I spank you. I just did.
(SLAPS BUTT)
248
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,256
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
249
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,224
Please go. Bye!
(KISSES)
250
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,682
Oh! Gosh, that man knows
how to exit a room.
251
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,058
(LAUGHS) Woof!
252
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,392
Now, Ryan, honey,
don't be mad, but with
so much on the line,
253
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,938
are you sure that
you wanna get turned with
your girls this weekend?
254
00:10:57,115 --> 00:11:00,324
I promised them a free trip
and it's "turnt" with a "T."
255
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,242
Okay, got it.
256
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,239
But maybe just wait
until the deal closes,
257
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,368
and then take them all
to St. Barts, buy them all
Birkin bags or something?
258
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,708
Liz, it'll be fine,
I promise.
259
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,877
Listen, we're all adults
and our insane party days
are behind us.
260
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,420
Well, most of us.
261
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,841
I just know if I was with
my college girlfriends
in New Orleans,
262
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,797
there'd be
pictures of our tits
all over the Internet.
263
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,338
There's actually
a few of those out there,
I don't know if you saw.
264
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,755
But, anyway,
it doesn't matter because
265
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,181
the point is,
I have civilian titties,
266
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,850
but you have
bestselling
author titties,
267
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,472
and 10% of
your titties
are my titties.
268
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,472
I just want
our titties to
have a future.
269
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,394
Liz.
Yeah.
270
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:34,683
What's the name of my book?
271
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,235
You Can Have It All.
272
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,858
Exactly.
273
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,323
Okay, you're right,
I gotta defer
to your judgment.
274
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:45,406
So, listen,
I'm gonna fly in before
your first appearance.
275
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,912
I'm really excited to
meet the Flossy Posse.
276
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,949
You girls are gonna be
keekee-ing all weekend.
277
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,245
Okay. Liz?
Yeah.
278
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,377
I'm gonna say this
out of love.
Preach, girl.
279
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:01,131
Mmm. Please refrain
from saying things
like "preach,"
280
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,259
or "Go, girl,"
"Bye, Felicia,"
"ratchet,"
281
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,015
or any other colloquialisms
that you may have heard
282
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,887
or looked up on
Urban Dictionary.
283
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,720
This weekend, over half
a million black women
284
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:15,682
of all sizes,
shades, from all different
socio-economic backgrounds
285
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,359
are descending on
the Crescent City
286
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:21,154
to celebrate black womanhood
in all its glorious forms.
287
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:24,566
You, my dear friend,
are a guest.
288
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,651
(EXHALES)
289
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,451
Act accordingly.
290
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,656
(SIGHS) Wow.
291
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,662
I'm not even offended.
292
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,208
You're the best!
Oh! Mmm.
293
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,210
(GIGGLES)
Thank you.
294
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:37,913
(SIGHS)
295
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:42,335
Have fun on
your hashtag Black
Girl Magic weekend.
296
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,461
Girl, bye!
297
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:51,393
ANNOUNCER: (ON PA)
4718 to New Orleans willcommence boarding shortly.
298
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,020
Got my hand sanitizer.
299
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:57,065
Got my anti-nausea medication,
hold on to that. Oh!
300
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,063
Hi, earplugs!
301
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,235
Oh. You need to
relax, Judge Judy.
302
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,316
You know,
I got some bomb-ass kush
if you wanna take a hit of it
303
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,367
before you get
on the plane. That shit
will have you right.
304
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,863
Where did you hide it?
You know what?
305
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,789
Never mind,
I'm not even gonna ask.
306
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,916
Fine, I ain't
gonna tell you.
307
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,333
Okay, I'mma tell you.
308
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,914
Where the sun don't shine.
309
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:25,837
You know,
a lot of people think
that means the vagina.
310
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,172
But, actually,
it's the butthole.
311
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:34,015
I got drugs in my booty.
312
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,973
You know what?
That can cause
a lot of infection.
313
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,775
Girl, you can't get
no infection in
your bootyhole!
314
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,352
It's a bootyhole.
315
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,609
Okay, enough.
316
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,026
You're grown.
317
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,318
On another note,
let me ask you a question.
318
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:52,950
Do you think the situation
with Ryan and Sasha...
319
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,373
Think there's still drama,
or has it been long enough?
320
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,293
It better be, because I plan
on getting white-girl-wasted
this weekend,
321
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,462
and I ain't letting
none of you bitches
kill my vibe, okay?
322
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,424
(COUGHING)
323
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:05,922
That's hand sanitizer.
324
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,343
(COUGHS) It burns.
325
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,468
Well, considering we don't
know where your mouth
has been, it can't hurt.
326
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,631
God!
327
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,262
You want a cough drop?
Hmm. Yeah.
328
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:14,471
Here.
329
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,645
Excuse me, can you ladies
point me in the direction of
330
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,397
the Flossy Posse!
331
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:20,849
(ALL SQUEALING)
332
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,272
LISA: Oh, my goodness!
333
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,278
It's so good to see you!
334
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,064
I'm so happy to see you two.
335
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,731
Girl, you killing it!
336
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,157
(ALL LAUGHING)
337
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,986
Hey, ladies!
(ALL SQUEALING)
338
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,321
DINA: Sasha, my goodness!
339
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,367
Oh! I've missed you
guys so much!
340
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,702
DINA: It's so good to
see you! Flossy Posse!
341
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,504
ALL: (CHANTING)
Flossy Posse! Flossy Posse!
342
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:43,921
(VOCALIZING)
343
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,792
She baddie!
344
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,805
Sash! (LAUGHS)
345
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,099
Hey, Ry.
346
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:55,425
Hey.
347
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,137
(INHALES SHARPLY)
Well, life is treating
you well, I see that.
348
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,263
Please! I see you and Stew
pop up on my feed
349
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,773
once a week going to
some fabulous event.
350
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,311
I love your hair.
Nice dress.
351
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,612
(BOTH LAUGH)
352
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,277
Seems like
they're getting along.
353
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,025
Shit...
354
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,951
These bitches is plastic.
355
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,321
That's a great
lipstick, too.
Thank you, right?
356
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:17,827
Ladies!
357
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,621
I made something
very special for us
this weekend.
358
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:21,792
Oh.
359
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,086
Bam!
360
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:29,217
What the fuck?
Look like a Bedazzler
threw up on that thing.
361
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,548
What? This is
very fashionable,
362
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,971
it's of today and yesterday.
It's very retro.
363
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,550
How about we save it
for the last night?
364
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,264
Of our lives?
365
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,640
(LAUGHING)
366
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,523
Or donate it to
the My Little Pony
Motorcycle Club.
367
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,395
Okay.
368
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,399
I put a lot of man-hours
into these jackets.
369
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,862
See, that's not
the kind of man-hours
370
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,031
we need you
putting in,
Lisa-lise.
371
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,817
Okay. Et tu, Sasha?
372
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:57,158
SASHA: Yes, you need
to bedazzling some dick,
that's what you need to do.
373
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:58,488
(LAUGHING)
374
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,074
DINA: Okay, now
here's what I want.
375
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,877
Let me get
three shots of whiskey
with a Coke to chase.
376
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,204
Coke Zero though,
I'm watching my figure.
377
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,465
Dina, you know this is
only an hour flight?
378
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:12,928
Oh, well, then,
in that case, let me go ahead
and get those three shots now,
379
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,220
and then bring me
a shot of Baileys
380
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,218
once we get into
cruising altitude.
381
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,300
SASHA: She about
to turnt up.
Sure.
382
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:21,352
Oh! And let me
get a Cherry Coke.
383
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:23,806
Dina, can we just
bring it down a notch?
Hmm?
384
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,937
Oh! Can we get some
dick this weekend?
385
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,644
You know what?
I need you to use
your lady mouth.
386
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:31,946
I need you to use
your lady mouth.
387
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,695
(CHUCKLING)
RYAN: All right. All right.
388
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,197
Let's just use Lisa's
version of lady mouth.
389
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,658
No, seriously,
for real though,
390
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:42,537
how long has it been
since you got
that back blown out?
391
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,251
I don't know,
two years maybe.
392
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:46,790
Wait.
What?
393
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,546
Since Terrence?
394
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:52,463
I don't know. I mean,
I take a vigorous spin class,
395
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,544
I read really
intense erotica,
396
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,677
and I invested
in a very powerful
detachable shower head,
397
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,599
which has been very
good to me, mind you.
398
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:03,561
Mmm-mmm.
Okay, that story just
put me into menopause.
399
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,521
You getting some
this weekend.
DINA: Straight up!
400
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,440
You're gonna get
at least two dicks
inside of you.
401
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,644
For crying out loud,
Dina, we only gonna be
there for three days.
402
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:11,978
Well, three dicks then.
403
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,655
(DINA LAUGHS)
Mmm-hmm.
404
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,065
You know, Lisa,
Dina could be right.
405
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,784
Daily penetration
is medicinal.
406
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,152
Oh, my goodness.
407
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:20,995
Don't be ashamed, girl.
408
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:24,290
Every sista up in here
is on a mission
409
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,502
to be her very best
and ratchet self.
Oh.
410
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:28,707
You, especially.
411
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,623
Who's ready for
Essence Fest?
412
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,128
(ALL WHOOPING)
413
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:39,222
See, Lisa? There is
no turning down up in
here, only the turnt up.
414
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:42,346
(LAUGHS) I love turnt ups.
Ma'am, excuse me.
415
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:43,806
Excused, uh, I got this.
416
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,563
Can you go ahead and
make some Patrón shots
for everybody up here?
417
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,185
On me.
(MOUTHING) I'm sorry.
418
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,392
I'm gonna
take care of everybody
in first class because...
419
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,442
(SINGING)
420
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:55,739
I'm every woman
It's all in me
421
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:56,781
(ALL CHEERING)
422
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,074
Anything you want
done, baby
423
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,993
I do it naturally
424
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,826
(ALL SINGING)
425
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,083
ALL: Flossy Posse!
426
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:08,701
ALL: Flossy Posse!
427
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,626
Wait, I see our sign!
428
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,879
Yes!
429
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,512
Hello.
Oh, my goodness!
430
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,432
Thank you so much.
431
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,808
(GASPS) Mmm.
432
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,016
Oh, my God!
433
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,358
Thank you! (GIGGLES)
434
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:01,546
(CHEERS)
435
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,893
Ay! Ay! Ow!
436
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:08,519
(ALL SINGING AND CHEERING)
437
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:15,069
A lovely day
438
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:21,699
A lovely day
439
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,242
(ALL CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)
440
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,839
(LAUGHING) Oh, God!
441
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,094
Oh, shoot!
442
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,307
Run, Dina! Run!
443
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,800
(ALL CHEERING)
444
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,226
(INAUDIBLE)
445
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,314
(INAUDIBLE)
446
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,915
(WHOOPING) Fuck yeah!
447
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,787
That's some white
boy shit right there.
448
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,341
Who's ready for a refill?
449
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,587
Dina, I haven't even
finished this one yet.
450
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,597
Girl, you used to finish
a supersized Slurpee
451
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:29,016
filled with grain alcohol
before noon.
452
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,389
Mmm-hmm.
True.
453
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,471
That was before two
beautiful little human beings
ripped out of my vagina
454
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,273
and sucked all the life
out of my breasts.
455
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,525
I don't coochie pop no more.
456
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:38,810
Ryan.
What?
457
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,400
We are your biggest fans.
Will you take
a picture with us?
458
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,606
Yes, sure, of course.
We are your biggest fans.
459
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,274
WOMAN: Oh, my God.
My friends are over here.
460
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,909
Damn, this shit gonna be
happening all weekend?
461
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,571
You know,
I'm so proud of her.
Look at her.
462
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,531
It's like traveling
with Beyoncé.
463
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,788
Oh, my God!
Are you guys
friends with Ryan?
464
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:56,206
Yeah.
Yeah.
465
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:57,628
I'm a huge fan!
466
00:20:58,048 --> 00:20:59,789
Here, this is
for you. Here.
467
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,672
Oh, okay, thank you!
Thanks so much!
468
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,378
Enjoy!
Yes!
469
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,762
Shit! This is like
traveling with Beyoncé!
470
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,556
Thank you so much! Aw!
471
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:09,803
Girl, you so pretty!
472
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:10,884
(GRUNTING)
473
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:14,475
Sista, sista,
it's $50 a pop.
$50 a pop.
474
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,061
Dina, I wouldn't
do that.
475
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:18,891
DINA: Who else is gonna
take a picture with Ryan?
It's $50.
476
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:21,444
We take American Express, EBT.
477
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:24,280
You trying to go to jail?
Because you need
a permit for all that.
478
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,906
What the fuck?
479
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,532
Lisa!
480
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,201
Lisa!
DINA: All right, sista.
481
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:30,994
LISA: Wait a minute.
Hold up.
482
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:32,621
SASHA: Can you believe this?
483
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:33,952
LISA: Oh, my God.
484
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:35,579
What y'all
tripping off of?
485
00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,624
Oh, hell, no!
486
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:40,796
That can't really be...
487
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:42,840
That's definitely
Stewart's punk ass,
488
00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,964
and that's definitely not
Ryan he's tonguing down.
489
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:46,548
Where'd you get the picture?
490
00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:48,550
My paparazzi guy
sent it to me.
491
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:50,306
Who is this
ratchet-ass bitch?
492
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,472
SASHA: Simone,
some Instagram hoe.
493
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:56,145
Heard she sucked off A-Rod
in a bathroom one time.
494
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,814
Wait a minute.
All this NBA dick
495
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,732
and she's sucking
a baseball player?
496
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,608
You know what I'm saying?
That type of bitch.
497
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:03,277
Oh, my God. I hate her.
But you know what?
498
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:04,946
That ass is really cute.
499
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:07,148
Do you get that from squats
or is that injections?
500
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,401
Oh, shit! She here!
501
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:11,736
That little dirty bitch
Simone is here?
502
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,279
Okay, we gotta tell Ryan.
503
00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:14,830
(INDISTINCT)
504
00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:17,412
Handle that, Sasha.
505
00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:20,461
Why I gotta be the one?
It's your picture, hoe.
506
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:23,210
Okay, no matter what,
we have to do it delicately,
507
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,540
because she's having
a good time.
508
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:27,336
No, fuck that.
You gotta do it like
a Brazilian wax.
509
00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:28,715
Just yank everything
out at once.
510
00:22:28,806 --> 00:22:32,015
Now, she gonna feel like
her uterus is on the paper
and she's gonna scream,
511
00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:34,217
but it's way better than
waterboarding the bitch.
512
00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:36,427
Can we at least wait
until we get back to
the room?
513
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:37,971
Can we agree on that?
514
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:44,686
So we have
the most amazing suite
at the Monteleone,
515
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,276
VIP passes to
all the parties,
516
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:50,484
and great seats
at the Superdome
for New Edition,
517
00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:53,240
Maxwell and
Doug E. Fresh!
518
00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:56,406
And we are going to eat!
Damn the calories!
519
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:57,745
Yup!
Yes!
520
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,124
I'm gonna kill somebody.
521
00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:00,868
What?
522
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,249
(ALL MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)
523
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,755
Now, I do have
some obligations,
524
00:23:04,842 --> 00:23:08,005
but the truth is,
this weekend is all about
the Flossy Posse!
525
00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:10,507
We're gonna be
staying up late,
drinking,
526
00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:13,340
making memories
that we can laugh about
the rest of our lives
527
00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:15,766
because that is what
a girls trip is for.
528
00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:16,843
SASHA: Yeah, word.
LISA: YOLO.
529
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:18,427
Ooh, I gotta hide
a bitch body.
530
00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:20,184
And gossip!
531
00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:23,016
No secrets,
I want all the dirt!
532
00:23:23,444 --> 00:23:26,106
Bitch, your man is sleeping
with an Instagram skank.
533
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,982
You just had to say
something, didn't you?
534
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:34,402
That was an opening,
that's God.
535
00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:35,486
Recognize.
536
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:41,000
SASHA:
Come on, Ryan. I need to...
I gotta show you something.
537
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:42,497
(BOTH GRUNTING)
538
00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:51,002
Ryan, I don't even
know what to say.
539
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,507
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
540
00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:56,174
You know we're here for you,
for whatever you need.
541
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:01,725
Don't worry, boo.
I'm gonna put hands on them.
542
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:03,476
I'm talking hot grits,
543
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:06,018
extension cords,
Timberland boots.
544
00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:08,402
I'm gonna fuck up
that bitch's
Instagram account.
545
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,984
I'm gonna put two Q-tips
in his pee-pee hole,
546
00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:12,569
and I'm gonna
walk him around.
547
00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:16,031
I'm gonna just wipe,
just swipe in that thing
and yank them out!
548
00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:19,242
And then I'm gonna stick
my fingers up in his ass
549
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:20,619
and tell him I'm checking
his prostate,
550
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:21,949
but really I'm gonna
yank his balls
551
00:24:22,044 --> 00:24:23,375
out of the back of
that motherfucker!
552
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:25,962
And then I'm gonna put
my fist so far up his ass,
553
00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:28,585
I'm gonna pull his heart out
through that motherfucker,
and I'm gonna
554
00:24:28,676 --> 00:24:30,963
"Kali ma shakti"
that shit, just...
555
00:24:31,053 --> 00:24:32,794
(MIMICS HEART BEATING)
556
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,130
Then I'm gonna stick
my fingers
back up in his ass,
557
00:24:36,225 --> 00:24:37,511
and then I'm gonna
twirl them around
558
00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:39,592
and see if that make him
giggle a little bit.
559
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:41,724
Because I like to make
a motherfucker laugh
560
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,771
while I hurt him,
you know what I'm saying?
561
00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:49,026
Well,
that's not necessary,
Dina, really, honestly.
562
00:24:49,113 --> 00:24:51,400
I've known about this
for a few months. So...
563
00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:55,073
The fuck?
You into that shit?
564
00:24:55,577 --> 00:24:58,820
No, Dina, come on.
Obviously, I was very upset,
565
00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:02,407
but Stewart and I are
in counseling, and
we're working through it.
566
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:06,202
Look at that!
That is fantastic!
567
00:25:06,296 --> 00:25:08,913
I am so glad to hear that.
Good for you.
568
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:11,882
Thank you, Lisa.
Stewart and I are a team.
569
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:14,168
Yeah, he's made some mistakes,
but that's in the past.
570
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,087
No, it's not.
571
00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:19,298
This picture was
taken last night.
572
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,015
Mmm.
573
00:25:23,397 --> 00:25:25,013
I don't believe that, Sasha.
574
00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:29,025
And you know what?
I really don't wanna
be judged right now.
575
00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:30,852
I'm the last person
to judge you, but...
576
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:33,021
Guys! Okay, listen.
577
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:34,814
I really meant
what I said earlier.
578
00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:37,150
This weekend is about us.
579
00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:38,864
We haven't hung
in five years,
580
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:41,946
and, by the grace of God,
we are here together.
581
00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:44,657
Come on,
let's take advantage of
that because if we don't,
582
00:25:44,835 --> 00:25:47,202
if we waste
this precious time,
then shame on us,
583
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:50,667
because today is
the last day that we will
ever be this young.
584
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:54,212
She fucked me up
with that one.
All right!
585
00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:57,921
Now, the Flossy Posse
is back in New Orleans,
so let's go!
586
00:25:58,098 --> 00:26:00,681
Let's go, bitches!
LISA: She's right, let's go!
587
00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,307
DINA:
But I will shit in
that nigga's shoe.
588
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:04,385
Ryan.
589
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:06,470
You know it's just
a matter of time
590
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:08,977
before the photographer
shops this picture.
591
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,688
Sash, don't worry.
I'm gonna handle it.
592
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,312
RYAN: Come on, y'all!
593
00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:21,069
I love this place so much!
594
00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:24,660
Wow. So, listen,
I'm gonna go check us in,
get our credentials.
595
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:27,663
You guys should go check
out the Carousel Bar
and have a drink,
596
00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:30,336
and I'll be back
in five minutes.
It's really cute.
597
00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:33,668
To the bar!
All right!
I'm ready to ride.
598
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:35,173
Looks nice, let's see.
599
00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:37,919
LISA: Oh, look at that!
600
00:26:38,013 --> 00:26:39,503
SASHA: Your kids
would like this.
601
00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:42,469
Man, damn!
This is the shit, man!
602
00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:45,305
Aw, it's so cool!
It's moving around.
603
00:26:45,479 --> 00:26:47,220
Yes, it's super cute.
604
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:48,930
Ooh!
605
00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:50,355
There goes Stewart.
606
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,475
Oh.
607
00:26:52,569 --> 00:26:53,604
Asshole.
608
00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:55,231
Dina, look at me!
Don't!
609
00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:57,321
Look at me!
Okay, come on now.
610
00:26:57,491 --> 00:26:59,107
You heard what Ryan said,
just be cool.
611
00:26:59,201 --> 00:27:02,489
I'm gonna be cool,
I just wanna say hi,
that's all.
612
00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:04,279
Why are you taking...
I'm gonna just say hello.
613
00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:06,364
No! Don't you say hello!
614
00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:07,498
No, Dina, don't do that.
615
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:09,916
Remember,
Ryan said this is her life,
we shouldn't get involved.
616
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:11,038
Hold this!
617
00:27:11,922 --> 00:27:13,003
Dina!
618
00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:15,377
Dina, no!
No!
619
00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:22,258
(SCREAMS)
620
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:23,305
Bitch!
621
00:27:23,392 --> 00:27:24,507
What the hell's
wrong with you?
622
00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:26,308
Don't play me, nigga.
I will end you!
623
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,729
You and your little
thirsty-ass wannabe MILF!
624
00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:32,264
But not really a MILF.
625
00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:34,858
Nigga,
you getting old bitches
from the resting home?
626
00:27:34,945 --> 00:27:36,731
Is that what you're doing
to my homegirl?
627
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,946
You fucking with
Gladys Knight, nigga?
628
00:27:40,033 --> 00:27:42,650
Do you got knee pads
under them slacks, Slurpee?
629
00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:45,236
What?
Dina, this my Aunt Marian!
630
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:48,534
How do you do?
631
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:51,205
Oh, I'm doing just fine,
but you know what?
632
00:27:51,378 --> 00:27:53,039
Your nephew is nasty!
633
00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,829
He a nasty nigga!
634
00:27:55,090 --> 00:27:56,251
Oh, yeah,
your bloodline is nasty!
635
00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:57,376
Okay. All right.
636
00:27:57,551 --> 00:27:59,792
All right, I'm sorry!
She's off her meds today!
637
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:01,552
He do people wrong!
You're going to Hell!
638
00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:03,383
You so nasty!
639
00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:05,673
And that ugly,
tight-assed suit!
640
00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:09,768
It is so very nice to
meet you, Miss Aunty.
641
00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:12,555
And that is a lovely
blouse you have on.
Why, thank you.
642
00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:15,728
As for you, Stewart...
643
00:28:16,570 --> 00:28:18,527
I am very disappointed
in you. Very!
644
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:22,527
You guys have
a lovely afternoon.
Thank you for your time.
645
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,863
AUNT MARIAN: Thank you.
You have a good day, too.
646
00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:26,364
(DINA SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
647
00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:30,080
What the hell happened?
SASHA: Breathe. Just breathe.
648
00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:32,033
I was gone for
three minutes!
649
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:33,242
This shit took one!
650
00:28:33,337 --> 00:28:35,954
What? Hockey players
don't even fight that fast!
651
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:37,959
Ma'am, I need you to leave
the premises immediately.
652
00:28:38,342 --> 00:28:39,798
Hello, sir.
653
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:42,335
Ryan Pierce, this year's
Essence keynote speaker
654
00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:43,968
and author of
You Can Have It All.
655
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:46,597
I am sorry,
I'd like to apologize
for my friends.
656
00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:48,474
But I can assure you
that everything is fine now.
657
00:28:49,269 --> 00:28:51,476
Ma'am,
she's holding a broken bottle
of Château Margaux.
658
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,729
Don't be speaking French
to me, motherfucker!
659
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,265
Dina, you're lucky my aunt
is hard of hearing.
660
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,852
And you're lucky TSA
took that straight-edge
away from me!
661
00:28:59,029 --> 00:29:02,147
Mr. Pierce, we are in
the process of removing
her right now.
662
00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:03,613
Thank you.
Wait!
663
00:29:03,784 --> 00:29:05,775
Really, that is
not necessary.
Dina, calm down.
664
00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:09,287
I promise you.
We are longtime friends,
since college.
665
00:29:09,456 --> 00:29:10,912
This is just the way
we greet each other.
666
00:29:12,125 --> 00:29:15,663
Miss Pierce, I'm sorry,
but that's not the way
we do things here.
667
00:29:16,672 --> 00:29:18,504
Okay, understood.
668
00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:20,540
But we are not
pressing charges, okay?
669
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:23,300
Isn't that right, Stew?
670
00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:28,931
Well, no, but if
that's the hotel's policy,
then I understand.
671
00:29:29,017 --> 00:29:30,052
No!
What?
672
00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:32,054
You a dick-ass nigga!
673
00:29:32,145 --> 00:29:33,601
Eat a dick!
And I mean that as
a sista to a brotha!
674
00:29:33,689 --> 00:29:35,054
You know what?
It's cool.
I'm gonna leave.
675
00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:36,309
Okay, we're leaving.
I'm gonna leave.
676
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,640
We're gonna leave.
Just give me a second.
677
00:29:38,235 --> 00:29:40,101
LISA: Oh! Dina! Oh, my...
678
00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:42,152
Okay, you know
what, Dina...
679
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,354
DINA: Milk Dud head...
680
00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:45,860
You look like an ugly,
dirty Mr. Clean!
681
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:47,195
Your girl needs a leash.
682
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:48,697
DINA: Wipe-ass bastard!
683
00:29:49,329 --> 00:29:51,866
Your room, now!
I don't wanna go to my room.
684
00:29:52,082 --> 00:29:55,495
That place is nasty!
It's haunted!
685
00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:58,703
I was there last year!
Swear to God, I was up
in there last year.
686
00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:00,500
A ghost tried to fuck me!
687
00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:02,046
You ever been
fucked by a ghost?
688
00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:03,874
RYAN: Are you kidding me?
689
00:30:03,969 --> 00:30:06,506
You said you ended this shit,
and now there's a picture?
690
00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:08,553
Are you not
understanding?
691
00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:10,548
And on top of it,
the bitch is here!
692
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:12,008
I didn't invite her.
693
00:30:12,102 --> 00:30:14,935
Well, neither
the fuck did I!
You need to call her,
694
00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:18,185
and you need to
send that genetically
enhanced ass home!
695
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,390
Come on, baby.
How am I supposed to do that?
696
00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:22,560
The same way you tell her
to come get some dick.
697
00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:24,895
You tweet, Snapchat, DM,
698
00:30:24,990 --> 00:30:27,698
smoke signals,
whatever you do,
I don't give a shit!
699
00:30:31,747 --> 00:30:33,704
You know what?
(SCOFFS) Whatever.
700
00:30:34,124 --> 00:30:35,285
I'm not doing this.
701
00:30:36,043 --> 00:30:38,080
This is stupid.
702
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,663
This isn't a marriage,
but we agreed to at least
be a partnership,
703
00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:45,921
and you can't hold up
your end of the bargain,
let alone your pants!
704
00:30:47,429 --> 00:30:50,467
This is against everything
I tell my readers,
my followers,
705
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:52,047
and yet I'm putting up
with it?
706
00:30:52,142 --> 00:30:54,850
No!
Ry, I'm sorry.
707
00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:56,885
You're always sorry.
708
00:30:57,064 --> 00:30:58,850
I know, but, look,
I won't do it again.
709
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,772
You always ain't
gonna do it again!
710
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:02,357
Baby, I mean it this time.
711
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,936
Okay? Real talk.
(SCOFFS) Mmm-hmm.
712
00:31:06,239 --> 00:31:07,274
Ryan, baby, listen.
713
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,199
You're right,
you don't deserve this.
714
00:31:11,495 --> 00:31:13,736
But our brand is who we are.
715
00:31:14,623 --> 00:31:17,115
It's who you are.
716
00:31:18,001 --> 00:31:19,867
Giving all that up
because I was sloppy
717
00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:23,295
isn't worth all
that you have worked
very hard to accomplish.
718
00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:25,756
Why would we give it up?
719
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,126
And for what? Huh?
720
00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:31,470
To watch it all crumble?
721
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:33,847
To be alone?
722
00:31:35,769 --> 00:31:38,852
Ryan, baby, I'm not going
anywhere, you know that.
723
00:31:39,648 --> 00:31:40,979
I don't give
a damn about her.
724
00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:47,941
Let's just do our dance
and handle our business.
725
00:31:49,157 --> 00:31:51,774
Be that couple
who has it all.
726
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:57,238
No more slipups.
727
00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:02,081
Stick to the plan
and get that hoe
under control,
728
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:03,585
and we close this deal.
729
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:04,836
Done.
730
00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:08,465
Some of us have to
find a place to stay.
731
00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:14,508
Damn.
732
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:16,681
Are you okay?
733
00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:19,435
Yeah, I'm fine.
So where we at?
734
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:23,063
I called. All the four
and five star hotels
are booked.
735
00:32:23,817 --> 00:32:26,275
You know what, whatever,
who needs a fancy suite?
736
00:32:27,237 --> 00:32:28,272
I mean, come on.
737
00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:30,445
Let's rough it.
It'll be like old times.
738
00:32:30,532 --> 00:32:32,443
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
739
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:40,330
I get the feeling there's
definitely been a few chalk
outlines on this floor.
740
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:43,913
Oh, yeah, somebody was
definitely murdered
in this room.
741
00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:47,041
It smells like the body
is still in here.
742
00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:48,706
Ugh.
743
00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:53,169
The fuck? No minibar?
744
00:32:53,930 --> 00:32:56,217
I feel like that one star
was hella generous.
745
00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:58,048
Bitch, you the reason we here.
746
00:32:58,351 --> 00:33:01,059
Classic Dina. You just
had to cause a scene.
747
00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:03,558
Classic Sasha,
can't never let shit go!
748
00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:05,272
It just happened!
Why would I let it go?
749
00:33:05,358 --> 00:33:07,144
What do you mean,
it just happened?
It's in the past!
750
00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:08,938
Hey.
751
00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:12,025
Hey! Hey! Stop arguing!
752
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:13,901
Stop it!
753
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:15,274
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Hey!
754
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:16,403
DINA: Let it go!
755
00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:18,819
I think I got scabies.
It's itching.
756
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,158
Y'all expecting somebody?
757
00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:21,579
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
Uh-uh.
758
00:33:24,586 --> 00:33:26,543
Fucking foggy peephole.
759
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,124
(IN HOARSE VOICE)
Who is it?
760
00:33:29,216 --> 00:33:30,672
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
761
00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:35,503
Oh!
762
00:33:35,597 --> 00:33:36,587
Rochelle here?
Oh!
763
00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:39,974
No, sir, I am sorry,
you have the wrong room.
764
00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:41,095
Please leave.
765
00:33:41,186 --> 00:33:42,802
This is where I meet
Rochelle every night.
766
00:33:42,938 --> 00:33:45,521
Hey, Rochelle ain't here,
homeboy. You need to get on.
767
00:33:45,899 --> 00:33:47,185
It don't have
to be Rochelle.
768
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:49,062
I'll take one of you.
769
00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:51,693
You mean to tell me,
we staying at a motel
770
00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:53,862
where $5 hoes do
their business?
771
00:33:54,407 --> 00:33:56,774
$5, shit, I get $2 change.
772
00:33:56,952 --> 00:33:58,067
Oh!
773
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:00,368
Lisa, you game?
774
00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:02,951
Might as well turn a profit
on dick number one tonight.
775
00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:04,452
Bust that thing open.
776
00:34:04,668 --> 00:34:06,875
Not if she wearing that.
What?
777
00:34:07,128 --> 00:34:09,961
I told you that outfit
was ugly as hell,
he don't even wanna fuck.
778
00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:12,294
Listen, sir, just because
she is not fashionable
779
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:14,250
doesn't mean that
you have to be rude!
780
00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:16,127
(KISSES)
(ALL SCREAMING)
781
00:34:16,304 --> 00:34:17,294
(SCREAMS)
782
00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:19,713
Get out!
783
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:20,931
DINA: Shoot!
784
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,633
What's wrong with him?
Close this.
785
00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:24,393
You don't want
some of this?
(SCREAMING)
786
00:34:25,814 --> 00:34:26,849
What is that?
787
00:34:27,023 --> 00:34:28,184
You don't want some of this?
788
00:34:28,275 --> 00:34:29,606
(ALL SCREAMING)
789
00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:34,565
Oh, shit!
790
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:36,693
You are disgusting!
791
00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:37,898
(LAUGHING)
792
00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:41,493
Go find Rochelle!
No, you go find Rochelle!
793
00:34:42,372 --> 00:34:44,909
Y'all are gonna get me
a heart attack!
794
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,536
(BOTH LAUGHING)
795
00:34:47,002 --> 00:34:48,163
Oh...
796
00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:49,576
(LAUGHING)
797
00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:53,589
I don't find
this funny at all.
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
798
00:34:57,304 --> 00:34:59,636
Yes, girl,
you're giving me life.
799
00:35:00,181 --> 00:35:03,424
Oh, hold up, Sash,
your tag is hanging out.
Let me pull it out.
800
00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:06,351
Oh, no, don't pull it.
Just tuck it in for me.
801
00:35:06,688 --> 00:35:07,769
Okay.
802
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:09,304
I made a deal
with the designer.
803
00:35:09,399 --> 00:35:11,640
I'm gonna Instagram it
this weekend.
804
00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:13,225
Some tastemaker shit.
805
00:35:13,528 --> 00:35:15,519
Lis, hurry up, okay?
806
00:35:15,697 --> 00:35:17,984
P. Diddy's not
gonna be waiting
for me all night!
807
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:19,898
He's a busy man.
808
00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:22,325
All right, almost ready.
809
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:26,492
What the fuck is that?
810
00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:30,117
(LAUGHING)
811
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:31,372
Wait a minute. Hold on.
812
00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:33,082
You gotta be kidding me!
813
00:35:34,341 --> 00:35:36,332
I really like this outfit.
814
00:35:36,426 --> 00:35:39,134
I mean, this is
hand-stitched embroidery
815
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:42,633
from an indigenous
tribe in Guatemala
that's almost extinct.
816
00:35:42,724 --> 00:35:44,260
So they not fucking
in Guatemala?
817
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:48,928
You know what?
Intelligent men of academia
818
00:35:49,064 --> 00:35:51,726
are gonna really
appreciate this outfit.
Mmm.
819
00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:54,065
All right, listen.
You look beautiful.
820
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,313
Thank you!
821
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:57,478
Now take it off
and put this on.
822
00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:03,405
This dress is
a mosquito net.
823
00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:05,744
Then maybe you'll catch
something in it.
824
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:07,612
SASHA: Yeah, a man.
825
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:09,782
Lisa, you look like
somebody's Puerto
Rican grandmother.
826
00:36:09,959 --> 00:36:10,994
See?
827
00:36:11,086 --> 00:36:14,078
Now men will fuck
almost anything,
but not you in that outfit.
828
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:18,836
Don't even, I already know.
829
00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:20,592
Tighten that up.
830
00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:25,089
Don't be taking
all day back there either,
making tamales and shit.
831
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,300
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
832
00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:29,430
ANNOUNCER: New Orleans!
833
00:36:29,604 --> 00:36:31,436
Make some noise
834
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:35,187
for New Edition!
835
00:36:35,276 --> 00:36:37,313
(MUSIC PLAYING)
836
00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:39,436
(SINGING)
837
00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:51,664
Oh, my gosh!
838
00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:56,290
NEW EDITION MEMBER:
Sing yourself, y'all!
839
00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:11,518
Oh, oh!
840
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:21,061
I have four.
841
00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:23,651
Yay!
842
00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:25,319
Party in the VIP!
843
00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:27,817
(ALL CHEERING)
844
00:37:28,913 --> 00:37:32,827
That's for Ryan
for getting us up in
the hot VIP spot!
845
00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:36,626
Before we drink,
we should get hydrated.
846
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:38,829
Where is the water?
Excuse me, miss!
847
00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,834
Lisa?
Yes.
848
00:37:41,050 --> 00:37:44,543
Okay, this weekend,
we're gonna need
a little less "Mom" Lisa,
849
00:37:44,637 --> 00:37:46,469
and a little more
"Freaknik" Lisa.
850
00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,388
DINA AND RYAN: Mmm-hmm.
851
00:37:49,142 --> 00:37:50,883
Like "Howard Homecoming" Lisa.
852
00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:52,850
DINA: Ooh!
853
00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,186
Ooh! "Bayou Classic" Lisa.
854
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,388
Ahh!
DINA: Mmm!
855
00:37:56,483 --> 00:37:57,518
SASHA: That Lisa.
856
00:37:57,609 --> 00:38:00,192
Like "NBA
All-Star Weekend" Lisa.
857
00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:01,647
SASHA: That shut it down.
858
00:38:01,738 --> 00:38:03,854
Come on now.
You're a fierce
sexual goddess.
859
00:38:04,365 --> 00:38:05,981
I'm a bad bitch goddess!
860
00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:07,524
Oh, yes!
861
00:38:07,702 --> 00:38:09,158
Now go out there and slay.
862
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,781
RYAN: That's it!
Let's do this!
863
00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:12,078
She ready.
864
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:15,495
So, hey, I don't mean
to be intrusive,
865
00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:19,085
but, um, how many sexual
partners have you had?
866
00:38:19,172 --> 00:38:21,163
(CLEARS THROAT)
Are you gay, straight?
867
00:38:21,341 --> 00:38:22,957
Because with
the pocket squares...
868
00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:25,042
I'm not feeling
confident about this.
869
00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:26,802
So you're not
lactose intolerant?
870
00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:29,470
You give me
the smallest bit
of ice cream,
871
00:38:29,557 --> 00:38:32,595
and I'm taking off like
a rocket. It's just...
(IMITATES FARTING)
872
00:38:33,228 --> 00:38:34,389
Damn, she rusty!
873
00:38:34,562 --> 00:38:36,098
I had both my kids, right?
874
00:38:36,272 --> 00:38:37,888
And I kept their placenta.
875
00:38:38,274 --> 00:38:39,605
You know what
I do every morning?
876
00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:41,391
When I make
my morning shake,
877
00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:45,229
I take a little
bit of that placenta,
plop it right inside,
878
00:38:45,573 --> 00:38:47,063
grind it up, throw it back.
879
00:38:47,367 --> 00:38:50,610
I'm telling you
I'm gonna live
until I'm 100.
880
00:38:50,703 --> 00:38:52,660
I can't watch this.
I tried, but I can't.
881
00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:54,283
She's gonna have to Uber,
she ain't riding with us.
882
00:38:54,374 --> 00:38:55,705
(SINGING)
883
00:38:57,794 --> 00:38:58,955
Everybody!
884
00:39:07,762 --> 00:39:10,299
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.
885
00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:12,305
Sasha Franklin?
886
00:39:12,767 --> 00:39:14,257
Of Sasha's Secrets?
887
00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:17,640
Miss Vanzant.
888
00:39:17,730 --> 00:39:21,769
It is such an honor to
even be in the same...
889
00:39:21,943 --> 00:39:24,184
So, come, missy,
890
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:26,854
and let me holler
at you for a minute.
891
00:39:27,699 --> 00:39:28,780
Okay.
892
00:39:30,118 --> 00:39:31,608
Do you know who I am?
893
00:39:33,037 --> 00:39:34,072
Yeah, I just said...
894
00:39:34,163 --> 00:39:35,619
Because either you don't know,
895
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:38,532
or some strange affliction
896
00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:42,039
has altered
the molecular structure
of your brain.
897
00:39:42,463 --> 00:39:43,498
If you think
898
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:45,998
that you can trash
my name and reputation
899
00:39:46,092 --> 00:39:48,049
just to make a name
for yourself, missy,
900
00:39:48,136 --> 00:39:50,628
that is not gonna
turn out well for you.
901
00:39:50,763 --> 00:39:52,345
No, look,
I'm just the messenger.
902
00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:53,922
I thought you looked
great in that thong.
903
00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:55,261
Liar!
904
00:39:57,145 --> 00:40:01,059
Try me again,
and I promise you
905
00:40:02,191 --> 00:40:05,684
that you and I are gonna have
a Middle Passage experience,
906
00:40:05,778 --> 00:40:08,861
a fight for survival,
and I will win.
907
00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:12,608
Have I made myself clear?
908
00:40:13,328 --> 00:40:14,409
Clear?
909
00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:16,820
Clear.
910
00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:19,122
Okay, thank you, beloved.
911
00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:22,250
Blessings to you and
you enjoy the rest of
your evening. (LAUGHS)
912
00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:24,578
Shoot!
913
00:40:25,089 --> 00:40:26,250
Yes, tell me it recorded.
914
00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:28,378
Please tell me
I got that on video.
915
00:40:28,551 --> 00:40:29,837
Come on, please.
916
00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:31,631
Damn it!
917
00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:35,256
Damn it, Sasha!
That was your car
and your mortgage.
918
00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:37,432
Hey, uh, Sasha.
919
00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:39,009
Yeah.
920
00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:41,554
Listen, do you, uh, mind
not working right now?
921
00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:45,228
Well, what do you call
what you're doing?
922
00:40:45,902 --> 00:40:48,940
No, I'm just saying
that I don't want anyone
to feel uncomfortable
923
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:50,691
thinking that you're
spying on them, that's all.
924
00:40:50,823 --> 00:40:52,154
Ryan, I don't spy
on people.
925
00:40:52,325 --> 00:40:53,315
Okay, I'm sorry.
926
00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:56,235
I'm just saying that
I'm their guest,
you're my guest.
927
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,073
Are you telling me
to behave?
928
00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:00,780
Is that what you're
telling me right now?
929
00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:02,495
No, I'm just saying
that it would be
930
00:41:02,585 --> 00:41:04,075
more appropriate
and effective...
931
00:41:04,253 --> 00:41:05,914
What is appropriate
and effective?
Um, Sasha. Sasha.
932
00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:07,791
These words you're
using on me feel...
933
00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:09,623
Come with me to
the bathroom, please.
934
00:41:10,009 --> 00:41:11,750
Real quick,
I got snaps
and zippers...
935
00:41:11,844 --> 00:41:14,006
Jesus!
And all kinds of things.
936
00:41:14,097 --> 00:41:16,088
SASHA: Lisa, I know
what you're doing.
937
00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:19,219
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Come on, Estelle!
938
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:20,425
Darling, yes, look at us!
No. No.
939
00:41:20,603 --> 00:41:22,890
DINA: Two conquerors
taking over the world!
940
00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:25,681
Don't be a bugger!
Pip pip, cheerio!
941
00:41:25,858 --> 00:41:28,145
I'll tag you!
I'll be tagging you in this!
ESTELLE: Please don't!
942
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:29,605
What are you doing?
What?
943
00:41:29,779 --> 00:41:31,440
I'm taking fun pictures
with celebrities.
944
00:41:31,614 --> 00:41:33,104
I'm talking to
celebrities and everything.
945
00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:34,405
(MAN CLEARS THROAT)
946
00:41:34,742 --> 00:41:36,028
Glad to see some things
ain't changed.
947
00:41:36,202 --> 00:41:38,489
Julian! Oh, my God!
948
00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:40,536
Look at you!
You got muscles now!
(LAUGHS)
949
00:41:40,707 --> 00:41:42,789
JULIAN: What up, D?
What's up, boy?
950
00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:44,791
Look at you!
Man, you got fine!
951
00:41:45,795 --> 00:41:47,581
Ryan!
It's good to see you!
952
00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:48,870
I thought that was you.
953
00:41:49,048 --> 00:41:52,882
I cannot believe
I'm looking at half
of the Flossy Posse!
954
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:55,544
And the other half
is here, too.
955
00:41:55,722 --> 00:41:57,087
No shit?
Yes!
956
00:41:57,265 --> 00:41:59,723
The whole entire FP crew
is in the building?
Mmm-hmm.
957
00:42:00,143 --> 00:42:01,975
Okay, it's official now.
(LAUGHS)
958
00:42:02,395 --> 00:42:03,760
Wow. So you
playing this weekend?
959
00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:05,687
Yeah, I'm actually
sitting in with Ne-Yo
960
00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:07,263
at the House of Blues
on Saturday.
961
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:08,728
Ne-Yo? I love Ne-Yo.
962
00:42:08,901 --> 00:42:10,767
Well, y'all should
come through, swing by.
963
00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:13,103
I will put you on the list,
it's nothing.
964
00:42:13,281 --> 00:42:14,567
Okay, we're there.
Good.
965
00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:16,197
DINA: Yeah, we're there.
(GIGGLING)
966
00:42:20,163 --> 00:42:21,574
Ah, so, what you drinking?
967
00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:24,661
Sash, I just brought you
in here, okay,
968
00:42:24,751 --> 00:42:27,413
so that you could have
a little compassion for Ryan
969
00:42:27,587 --> 00:42:29,373
and everything that
she's going through.
970
00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:32,335
So I'm asking you
to please be nice.
971
00:42:32,508 --> 00:42:33,748
I'm trying.
972
00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:37,135
I mean, she is
the one giving me grief
about doing my job.
973
00:42:37,638 --> 00:42:40,175
You know,
we can't all just smile
for the cameras
974
00:42:40,266 --> 00:42:42,724
and sit next to
a football player
and make money off of him.
975
00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:45,643
Ooh! Now, Sasha, that's
not fair and you know it.
976
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:47,015
You know you always do this.
977
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:48,096
I always do what?
978
00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:50,140
Ryan can do no wrong
in your eyes.
979
00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:51,224
(SCOFFS)
980
00:42:51,319 --> 00:42:53,356
Even when she bailed
on all of our plans
981
00:42:53,446 --> 00:42:55,403
to start the first
black Huffington Post.
982
00:42:55,740 --> 00:42:58,323
That was five years ago,
all right?
983
00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:00,487
Can you just let it go?
984
00:43:01,788 --> 00:43:02,823
Okay!
985
00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:04,325
Sash...
986
00:43:06,709 --> 00:43:07,949
Don't look at me
with them eyes.
987
00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:12,003
Okay.
988
00:43:12,715 --> 00:43:13,830
All right.
989
00:43:13,925 --> 00:43:15,836
Thank you, I love you.
Don't hug on me,
990
00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:18,047
hug on some of that
man meat out there.
991
00:43:18,638 --> 00:43:20,003
(SINGING)
992
00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:33,225
Ma, can you hear me?
993
00:43:33,694 --> 00:43:34,729
(SIGHS)
994
00:43:34,821 --> 00:43:35,811
Dang it.
995
00:43:36,531 --> 00:43:38,772
Reception is just awful.
996
00:43:39,450 --> 00:43:40,861
Geez Louise. Come on.
997
00:43:41,327 --> 00:43:42,909
Come on!
998
00:43:43,913 --> 00:43:46,280
Hey, pretty lady
from Bourbon Street.
999
00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:48,073
Hey, yeah...
1000
00:43:48,251 --> 00:43:49,457
You know that
doesn't work, right?
1001
00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:51,166
Oh. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
1002
00:43:51,254 --> 00:43:53,837
You gotta try,
just in case you get lucky.
1003
00:43:54,006 --> 00:43:55,588
I mean, not lucky...
1004
00:43:55,675 --> 00:43:57,291
You wanna stand on
my shoulders and try?
1005
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:00,960
You know, for height.
1006
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:04,176
So, um, how many
baby mamas you got?
1007
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:06,224
Zero.
1008
00:44:06,394 --> 00:44:08,681
You got a wifey?
No.
1009
00:44:08,896 --> 00:44:10,136
You got a husband?
1010
00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:11,304
(LAUGHING)
1011
00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:14,232
Don't even try to
play me, all right?
1012
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:18,152
Dina, come on.
Now Julian is a musician,
he play the bass.
1013
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,321
What's he gonna do with
one piece of
pussy coochie twat?
1014
00:44:20,408 --> 00:44:21,614
(LAUGHING)
1015
00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:25,526
There's a lot you
can do with just one.
1016
00:44:25,746 --> 00:44:27,783
(DINA AND SASHA HOWLING)
1017
00:44:28,374 --> 00:44:31,912
Talk to me, yes.
I got one you
could do a lot with!
1018
00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:33,118
(LAUGHING)
1019
00:44:33,379 --> 00:44:35,336
Stop!
Damn, she dangerous.
1020
00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:36,413
Close them.
1021
00:44:40,011 --> 00:44:41,968
Look! Smash alert,
two o'clock!
1022
00:44:43,306 --> 00:44:44,512
You got it?
I got you.
1023
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:45,922
Oh, my God!
1024
00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:47,223
Is that Lisa?
1025
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:49,009
We gotta keep twisting
like this, right?
1026
00:44:49,187 --> 00:44:50,928
Because that helps
with the reception.
1027
00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:53,267
Just a minute ago,
she was chasing them off,
1028
00:44:53,441 --> 00:44:55,307
now, she got her whole taco
in the dude's face.
1029
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:58,067
Ma, can you hear me yet?
1030
00:44:58,738 --> 00:45:00,854
No, she still
can't hear me, though.
1031
00:45:01,115 --> 00:45:03,402
And it's raw taco,
she ain't got no panties on!
1032
00:45:04,827 --> 00:45:06,443
JULIAN: Y'all still wild.
1033
00:45:06,621 --> 00:45:08,032
Yes, we are!
1034
00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:11,914
Oh, my God!
That's Diddy, baby!
1035
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:14,329
How y'all feeling
over here tonight?
1036
00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:16,744
Y'all ready
to have a good time
in this motherfucker?
1037
00:45:16,923 --> 00:45:18,334
JULIAN: Ladies,
look what your man's got!
1038
00:45:20,426 --> 00:45:22,292
Y'all, I'm about to get
pregnant tonight. Move.
1039
00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:24,928
You know you
created a monster.
1040
00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:26,713
It's a really
good vibe, come on.
1041
00:45:26,807 --> 00:45:28,138
Oww!
1042
00:45:28,643 --> 00:45:29,633
(SCREAMING)
1043
00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:32,719
(RAPPING)
1044
00:46:02,718 --> 00:46:04,004
(SCREAMING)
1045
00:46:11,978 --> 00:46:12,968
No!
1046
00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:15,553
RYAN: Dina,
put your shirt on!
1047
00:46:23,823 --> 00:46:25,359
Oh, shit!
1048
00:46:26,075 --> 00:46:27,941
SASHA: Girl, your booty
is showing!
1049
00:46:38,713 --> 00:46:40,203
You go and
get that ass!
1050
00:46:40,381 --> 00:46:41,621
That shit works!
1051
00:46:45,845 --> 00:46:47,506
Make some noise!
1052
00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:52,131
(SCREAMS)
1053
00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:54,217
(SQUEALING)
1054
00:46:55,771 --> 00:46:57,102
Oh, my God!
1055
00:46:58,941 --> 00:47:01,182
DIDDY: I love y'all!
Thank you, New Orleans!
1056
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,852
Turnt up, turnt up, turnt up!
1057
00:47:04,030 --> 00:47:06,362
(LAUGHS) What we doing
after this, y'all?
1058
00:47:06,532 --> 00:47:08,523
My frat's having
a party at Xavier.
1059
00:47:08,743 --> 00:47:11,485
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold up.
How old are you?
1060
00:47:11,579 --> 00:47:12,614
Twenty-one.
1061
00:47:12,705 --> 00:47:14,412
We are not going to
any college frat party.
Twenty-one!
1062
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:15,488
What?
1063
00:47:15,624 --> 00:47:18,082
Wait, maybe I should wait here
for Diddy to come out,
1064
00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:20,414
because once a man
lays his eyes
1065
00:47:20,504 --> 00:47:23,121
on these Biggie Smalls
up on my chest,
1066
00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:25,456
it burns in their brains,
it burns right
in their brains.
1067
00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:26,586
Come on, for real.
1068
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:28,384
What y'all getting into?
I know y'all doing something.
1069
00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:29,885
Oh! Wait, come on, y'all.
1070
00:47:30,056 --> 00:47:32,764
I still have to work tomorrow,
I really should get to bed.
1071
00:47:33,059 --> 00:47:34,766
It ain't even
midnight yet.
Boo!
1072
00:47:35,186 --> 00:47:39,020
Come on, guys, listen.
I've just watched
my best friend grind on Diddy.
1073
00:47:39,190 --> 00:47:40,897
What could possibly top that?
1074
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:45,147
Let's do this shit, bitches!
1075
00:47:45,237 --> 00:47:47,524
Flossy Posse is in effect!
1076
00:47:49,075 --> 00:47:50,190
Here I go!
1077
00:47:50,368 --> 00:47:51,608
Oh, shit!
1078
00:47:52,286 --> 00:47:53,526
(SCREAMING)
1079
00:47:58,084 --> 00:47:59,290
(SCREAMING) Yeah!
1080
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:01,784
That was amazing!
1081
00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:04,249
Guess she caught
her second wind.
1082
00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:05,375
RYAN: Sasha!
1083
00:48:05,466 --> 00:48:08,424
Come on,
you have to try it!
It's amazing!
1084
00:48:09,136 --> 00:48:12,424
Fuck it!
I'm white boy wasted anyway!
1085
00:48:12,515 --> 00:48:14,097
Come on!
1086
00:48:14,809 --> 00:48:16,299
(SCREAMING)
1087
00:48:18,521 --> 00:48:20,387
Oh, my God! Oh, shit!
1088
00:48:20,564 --> 00:48:21,929
Catch me!
1089
00:48:22,191 --> 00:48:23,397
(SCREAMS) Oh!
1090
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,983
Don't let me go!
Don't let me go!
1091
00:48:26,278 --> 00:48:28,565
Don't let me go!
1092
00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:29,854
Sasha!
1093
00:48:30,032 --> 00:48:31,443
That was crazy!
1094
00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:33,820
Come on, Lis.
Come on.
It's time, let's go!
1095
00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:36,656
No, this is not
a good idea,
I have to pee.
1096
00:48:36,831 --> 00:48:38,287
The line is
shorter over there,
1097
00:48:38,374 --> 00:48:39,910
there's a long line
to the bathroom here.
1098
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,035
Just go for it.
1099
00:48:41,127 --> 00:48:42,538
You can do it!
It's fine!
1100
00:48:42,711 --> 00:48:44,952
All right. All right.
All right. All right.
1101
00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:47,421
(CHANTING) Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!
1102
00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:48,797
Peter Pan that shit!
1103
00:48:50,261 --> 00:48:51,672
(SCREAMING)
1104
00:48:57,226 --> 00:48:58,341
CROWD: Oh!
1105
00:48:59,687 --> 00:49:00,973
Oh, shit!
1106
00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:03,812
LISA: What happened?
1107
00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:05,439
Why did I stop?
1108
00:49:05,526 --> 00:49:07,142
Why isn't it moving?
1109
00:49:07,319 --> 00:49:09,026
Wait, what's going on?
LISA: Why did it stop?
1110
00:49:09,196 --> 00:49:11,437
Hello? What's wrong?
1111
00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:12,734
(WHIMPERS)
1112
00:49:12,825 --> 00:49:13,940
Don't worry about it!
1113
00:49:14,118 --> 00:49:16,200
They're gonna fix it!
Just hold tight,
hold on, Lisa!
1114
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:18,532
This is not the time,
I'm telling you!
1115
00:49:18,706 --> 00:49:20,071
SASHA: Don't worry!
1116
00:49:20,166 --> 00:49:21,406
Squeeze it!
1117
00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:23,040
Oh, God!
1118
00:49:23,210 --> 00:49:26,498
Baby Jesus, Jesus,
please don't make
me pee on anybody!
1119
00:49:26,672 --> 00:49:29,585
Stop taking that picture
of her fucking vagina!
1120
00:49:29,717 --> 00:49:30,878
Please don't do it!
(SCREAMS)
1121
00:49:32,052 --> 00:49:33,292
(CROWD SCREAMING)
1122
00:49:33,596 --> 00:49:34,711
Oh!
1123
00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:38,172
(WAILING)
1124
00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:42,135
Damn!
How much did she drink?
1125
00:49:42,438 --> 00:49:45,726
Why have you
forsaken me,
Baby Jesus?
1126
00:49:46,233 --> 00:49:48,725
Your BFF is on her way!
1127
00:49:48,903 --> 00:49:50,735
I'm sorry,
I really tried to hold it!
1128
00:49:51,030 --> 00:49:52,361
(SHOUTING)
1129
00:49:55,034 --> 00:49:56,445
Don't worry, girl,
I got you!
1130
00:49:56,535 --> 00:49:58,822
(ALL SCREAMING)
1131
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,448
I didn't know
you were into golden showers.
Girl, that's my jam!
1132
00:50:03,626 --> 00:50:05,412
Watch this! (WHOOPING)
1133
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:09,003
What the fuck?
1134
00:50:09,089 --> 00:50:10,375
(CROWD SCREAMING)
1135
00:50:17,556 --> 00:50:19,342
What are you doing?
1136
00:50:19,433 --> 00:50:22,266
Y'all didn't even
have to take me
to Red Lobster!
1137
00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:25,515
(WHOOPING)
1138
00:50:27,608 --> 00:50:28,814
(LAUGHING)
1139
00:50:30,778 --> 00:50:33,941
Hey, when I said "let loose,"
I didn't mean it literally!
1140
00:50:34,448 --> 00:50:36,359
Ry, what!
Did you see that?
1141
00:50:36,450 --> 00:50:38,817
Yeah, everybody saw it!
1142
00:50:38,953 --> 00:50:41,695
Damn!
Oh, I am so happy
we ran into you!
1143
00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:45,202
I swear,
I have not had this
much fun in so long.
1144
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:47,374
You never had a problem
with that before.
1145
00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:48,792
I miss that girl.
1146
00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:50,335
You definitely
brought her back tonight.
1147
00:50:50,422 --> 00:50:51,753
(CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS)
1148
00:50:52,049 --> 00:50:55,212
Well, maybe she needs you
around a little more often.
1149
00:50:55,302 --> 00:50:56,292
(CHUCKLES)
1150
00:51:01,767 --> 00:51:02,848
Uh...
1151
00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:05,810
Maybe I should get you home.
1152
00:51:06,188 --> 00:51:08,429
Didn't you say you have
an appearance or something?
1153
00:51:08,857 --> 00:51:10,143
Tomorrow?
1154
00:51:10,693 --> 00:51:12,354
With your husband.
1155
00:51:13,362 --> 00:51:14,727
Yeah, that nigga.
1156
00:51:15,573 --> 00:51:16,654
What?
1157
00:51:18,325 --> 00:51:20,111
What? No.
1158
00:51:20,202 --> 00:51:21,237
(STAMMERING)
1159
00:51:21,328 --> 00:51:23,820
Yeah, no, no, right.
I should, um...
1160
00:51:25,165 --> 00:51:27,031
I should probably go.
Yeah.
1161
00:51:27,293 --> 00:51:30,081
Uh, but where y'all staying?
I'll take you to your hotel.
1162
00:51:30,170 --> 00:51:31,877
Where are you, at the W?
1163
00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:34,046
Uh...
The Roosevelt?
1164
00:51:34,216 --> 00:51:36,503
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
I got you, come on.
1165
00:51:37,970 --> 00:51:40,337
(GRUNTS) All right,
it's all yours.
1166
00:51:41,140 --> 00:51:42,221
Are you sure?
1167
00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:45,884
There's no way in hell
I'll let y'all stay
in that filthy dump.
1168
00:51:46,395 --> 00:51:48,511
I'll crash with
the guys in the band.
1169
00:51:48,606 --> 00:51:49,892
Y'all get some sleep.
1170
00:51:49,982 --> 00:51:54,067
Thank you, Julian,
for everything tonight.
For everything.
1171
00:51:54,153 --> 00:51:55,393
No sweat.
1172
00:51:58,616 --> 00:52:00,198
You sure everything
is good with you?
1173
00:52:00,284 --> 00:52:02,525
Yes! Absolutely.
1174
00:52:04,538 --> 00:52:05,869
All right, then.
1175
00:52:06,915 --> 00:52:08,121
Okay.
1176
00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:09,448
Good night.
1177
00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:10,908
(DOOR CLOSES)
1178
00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:23,216
Can I just touch it?
You can touch it.
1179
00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:25,426
(MOANS)
1180
00:52:28,145 --> 00:52:29,635
Oh. (GIGGLES)
(LAUGHS)
1181
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:30,970
You're shy.
1182
00:52:31,982 --> 00:52:33,643
You should move your arm.
1183
00:52:33,859 --> 00:52:35,395
(MOANING)
1184
00:52:37,321 --> 00:52:38,527
That's not my arm.
1185
00:52:44,453 --> 00:52:45,943
(CRINGING)
1186
00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:48,992
I just...
I couldn't do it.
1187
00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:51,370
(BOTH SNICKERING)
It was unbelievable!
1188
00:52:51,460 --> 00:52:53,201
I'm telling you guys,
you had to see this thing.
1189
00:52:53,295 --> 00:52:55,036
Well, why didn't you
bring it out and show us?
1190
00:52:55,673 --> 00:52:58,005
Were you gonna help me
carry it out here?
1191
00:52:58,342 --> 00:53:00,049
I'd have slung it
over my shoulder.
1192
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,137
Listen, I ain't never
seen nothing like that.
1193
00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:07,261
Wait. The good Lord
gives you all that meat,
and you just hand it back?
1194
00:53:07,351 --> 00:53:08,341
(SCOFFS)
1195
00:53:08,602 --> 00:53:09,967
Is that because you a vegan?
1196
00:53:10,646 --> 00:53:11,977
LISA: No, Dina.
1197
00:53:12,064 --> 00:53:14,226
It's because I wanna
keep my uterus intact.
1198
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:17,017
(SCOFFS) Girl, I'm gonna
give you a lecture tomorrow.
1199
00:53:17,111 --> 00:53:19,694
But tonight
I'm too tired.
1200
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:21,020
I think my liver
is broken.
1201
00:53:22,741 --> 00:53:25,529
Uh-uh. Y'all not going
to sleep. Come on.
1202
00:53:25,619 --> 00:53:28,077
Come on. Bring it.
Come on!
1203
00:53:28,455 --> 00:53:29,445
(SIGHS)
Get up!
1204
00:53:29,540 --> 00:53:31,451
Mmm-mmm.
RYAN: Oh, God.
1205
00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:33,499
(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
1206
00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:41,169
What?
1207
00:53:42,010 --> 00:53:43,796
I'm not going to Hell.
1208
00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:45,343
Jesus loves me, too.
1209
00:53:45,973 --> 00:53:47,805
Better recognize
your blessings.
1210
00:53:49,852 --> 00:53:51,217
She got a point.
Yeah.
1211
00:53:52,104 --> 00:53:53,560
Okay.
1212
00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:55,012
Here we go.
1213
00:53:56,358 --> 00:53:59,225
Heavenly Father,
we wanna thank you
for this day of life
1214
00:53:59,319 --> 00:54:02,607
and thank you for
bringing the Flossy Posse
back together.
1215
00:54:02,698 --> 00:54:04,735
It's like you always
listen to my prayers
1216
00:54:04,825 --> 00:54:06,782
because I missed
my girls so much.
1217
00:54:06,869 --> 00:54:11,238
And I can't wait for us
to have all the most fun
in the world!
1218
00:54:11,331 --> 00:54:14,119
Oh, I can just feel my heart
filling up with joy now,
1219
00:54:14,209 --> 00:54:16,416
just thinking about
all the good things
we gonna do...
1220
00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:18,085
(VOICE FADING)
1221
00:54:32,186 --> 00:54:33,392
Thank you.
1222
00:54:37,149 --> 00:54:39,265
Hey, are you
even up for this?
1223
00:54:39,359 --> 00:54:41,896
Don't worry, I've been
pretending to be
okay for two years.
1224
00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:43,398
I can do it for
a few more minutes.
1225
00:54:43,489 --> 00:54:46,072
Honey! Honey! Whoa!
Somebody got turnt.
1226
00:54:46,241 --> 00:54:48,949
(LAUGHS)
It's okay. It's okay.
1227
00:54:49,036 --> 00:54:52,950
Uh, yeah, yeah.
So, well, we're gonna get you
some coffee, okay, sweetie?
1228
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:54,201
Okay.
1229
00:54:54,291 --> 00:54:55,907
Some water?
Yeah, water, too.
1230
00:54:56,001 --> 00:54:56,991
Yeah.
1231
00:54:57,085 --> 00:54:59,918
Listen, I've been out of
the game for a minute,
1232
00:55:00,005 --> 00:55:02,793
and I don't know
what these young girls
are doing out here
1233
00:55:02,883 --> 00:55:04,294
to handle all that.
1234
00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:06,216
But I'm not
on that train.
1235
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:07,293
Come on now, Lisa.
1236
00:55:07,387 --> 00:55:10,254
I ain't never
known you to back down
from a challenge.
1237
00:55:10,349 --> 00:55:11,384
I know.
1238
00:55:11,475 --> 00:55:13,842
Just grapefruit him.
What?
1239
00:55:14,353 --> 00:55:16,219
Y'all ain't never
grapefruited before?
1240
00:55:17,314 --> 00:55:18,475
No.
1241
00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:20,932
But I'm listening.
1242
00:55:21,401 --> 00:55:23,017
What you wanna do is,
1243
00:55:23,111 --> 00:55:24,693
you get a grapefruit,
right?
Okay.
1244
00:55:24,780 --> 00:55:27,397
And you cut both
ends off, as so.
1245
00:55:28,659 --> 00:55:32,618
Then you cut a hole in
the middle, like this.
1246
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:34,366
Like a nice little tunnel.
1247
00:55:34,456 --> 00:55:38,290
And then you place
that on his penis
1248
00:55:38,377 --> 00:55:39,663
like this.
1249
00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:42,746
Oh. Oh.
Okay.
Like that, right?
1250
00:55:43,131 --> 00:55:45,543
Now, you wanna
squeeze, and twist,
1251
00:55:45,634 --> 00:55:48,843
and suck, so then
it feels like he's getting
fucked and sucked
1252
00:55:48,929 --> 00:55:50,465
all at the same time.
1253
00:55:52,057 --> 00:55:53,138
It's like this.
1254
00:55:53,225 --> 00:55:54,260
(SLURPING)
1255
00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:01,018
(COUGHS)
1256
00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:05,477
You might choke just
a little bit because that
make him feel like a man.
1257
00:56:05,571 --> 00:56:06,902
Like he killing your shit.
1258
00:56:06,989 --> 00:56:08,104
(SLURPING)
1259
00:56:10,492 --> 00:56:12,608
Dude, this is tickling
my throat.
1260
00:56:16,623 --> 00:56:18,034
(CHUCKLES AND SLURPS)
1261
00:56:18,417 --> 00:56:19,407
Hmm.
1262
00:56:19,501 --> 00:56:22,459
Now, you never ever wanna
do this with a pineapple.
1263
00:56:23,088 --> 00:56:24,203
I almost died.
1264
00:56:26,884 --> 00:56:28,295
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1265
00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:37,474
Sasha, tell me the truth.
Do you think
this color's too much?
1266
00:56:37,853 --> 00:56:40,561
It's barely enough.
It's beautiful.
1267
00:56:40,647 --> 00:56:42,263
ANNOUNCER:
Ryan and Stewart Pierce.
1268
00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:44,557
SUNNY: Give it up for Ne-Yo!
1269
00:56:44,651 --> 00:56:46,892
NE-YO:
It's always a beautifuland energetic crowd
1270
00:56:46,987 --> 00:56:48,443
when you come to
the Essence Fest.
1271
00:56:48,530 --> 00:56:50,271
ANNOUNCER:
Miss Terry McMillan.
1272
00:56:50,365 --> 00:56:51,901
NE-YO: People, period.
But beautiful black people,
1273
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,528
you know what I mean?
That's what you come for.
1274
00:56:53,619 --> 00:56:55,235
You come to celebrate
your blackness.
1275
00:56:55,329 --> 00:56:56,490
ANNOUNCER: Morris Chestnut!
1276
00:56:56,580 --> 00:56:58,116
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
1277
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:01,998
(SCREAMING)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1278
00:57:08,550 --> 00:57:09,790
ANNOUNCER: Ava DuVernay!
1279
00:57:09,885 --> 00:57:11,296
What is
"black girl magic"?
1280
00:57:11,386 --> 00:57:13,627
It feels like a reminder,
it feels like a rallying call,
1281
00:57:13,722 --> 00:57:15,929
it feels like
a term of endearment.
1282
00:57:16,016 --> 00:57:19,600
Make sure to keep
stirring so this crawfish
doesn't overcook.
1283
00:57:19,686 --> 00:57:22,269
Oh, yeah, because we
cannot have that, y'all.
1284
00:57:22,689 --> 00:57:24,225
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1285
00:57:34,701 --> 00:57:36,533
I'm so sorry!
SASHA: You kissing
the air, girl.
1286
00:57:36,620 --> 00:57:39,282
I guess that chapter
in your book is right.
1287
00:57:39,373 --> 00:57:42,331
"The couple who
cooks together,
stays together."
1288
00:57:43,251 --> 00:57:45,538
So cute.
They're so cute!
1289
00:57:46,672 --> 00:57:47,753
Couldn't have said it
better myself.
1290
00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:49,125
That's true.
1291
00:57:51,176 --> 00:57:54,009
She on some
Academy Award shit
with this performance.
1292
00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:56,466
Aw, Sasha,
marriage is tricky.
1293
00:57:56,556 --> 00:57:59,924
She still loves Stewart.
They're just going
through a rough patch.
1294
00:58:00,018 --> 00:58:03,352
RYAN: And you can see,there are a lot of differentpeppers and colors...
1295
00:58:03,438 --> 00:58:05,099
Oh, no,
this bitch didn't.
What?
1296
00:58:05,190 --> 00:58:06,305
Oh, this heifer.
1297
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:07,435
Dina, don't.
1298
00:58:07,526 --> 00:58:09,016
I'm just gonna
whip her ass!
1299
00:58:09,111 --> 00:58:12,354
Why don't we invite someone
from our audience to come
up and have a taste?
1300
00:58:12,447 --> 00:58:13,528
SIMONE: Ooh, I'll do it.
1301
00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:17,066
Oh, you in the red,
I saw you first!
1302
00:58:18,537 --> 00:58:19,993
Oh, hell no!
Let's go!
1303
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,241
LISA: Oh, no,
wait, wait, wait!
1304
00:58:21,331 --> 00:58:22,366
CARLA: Right here.
1305
00:58:24,042 --> 00:58:25,032
Oh, wow.
1306
00:58:25,127 --> 00:58:27,209
This bitch think
she can just be
up in here,
1307
00:58:27,295 --> 00:58:28,626
doing whatever
the fuck she wants.
1308
00:58:28,714 --> 00:58:32,628
All right! Looks like we have
a few eager volunteers!
1309
00:58:33,176 --> 00:58:34,257
Come on up, girls.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
1310
00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:37,549
More the merrier.
1311
00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:40,096
I got her, Ry.
1312
00:58:40,934 --> 00:58:43,301
Mmm, this looks
so delicious.
1313
00:58:43,395 --> 00:58:45,557
But I could use
some extra sausage.
1314
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:49,685
Oh, really?
1315
00:58:49,776 --> 00:58:50,811
You wanna be
careful with that.
1316
00:58:50,902 --> 00:58:53,485
You don't wanna choke
on too much sausage.
1317
00:58:53,572 --> 00:58:56,405
I'm good, I don't
have a gag reflex.
1318
00:58:57,743 --> 00:58:59,575
Ooh, this bitch
wanna get hurt!
1319
00:59:00,495 --> 00:59:02,782
Are they still talking
about jambalaya?
1320
00:59:02,873 --> 00:59:05,911
Um, uh, yeah,
it's colloquial.
1321
00:59:06,126 --> 00:59:07,958
Um, "Put your foot in it."
1322
00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:09,456
"So good, makes you wanna
slap your mama."
1323
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:10,752
"Bitch gonna get hurt."
1324
00:59:11,006 --> 00:59:12,588
(CHUCKLES)
Got it.
1325
00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:13,873
(CLEARS THROAT)
1326
00:59:14,009 --> 00:59:15,670
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
1327
00:59:15,761 --> 00:59:16,876
You know what,
1328
00:59:16,970 --> 00:59:19,962
since we've got
a true sausage connoisseur,
1329
00:59:20,057 --> 00:59:24,517
why don't we show her and
you guys everything you can
do with a sausage?
1330
00:59:26,772 --> 00:59:27,762
Ah!
1331
00:59:27,939 --> 00:59:30,021
Now, what do wehave here?
A cleaver.
1332
00:59:30,192 --> 00:59:31,853
Ah, so, let's
take this cleaver...
1333
00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:33,350
That's a big cleaver, baby.
1334
00:59:33,445 --> 00:59:34,606
You should be
careful with that.
1335
00:59:34,696 --> 00:59:35,777
Well, you know what, baby?
1336
00:59:35,864 --> 00:59:37,400
I'm always careful.
1337
00:59:37,491 --> 00:59:38,481
(CHUCKLES)
Mmm-hmm.
1338
00:59:39,117 --> 00:59:40,403
CARLA: Show him
who's boss, girl!
1339
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:41,655
(GRUNTING)
1340
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:42,985
Ooh. Ooh!
1341
00:59:44,623 --> 00:59:48,787
You don't want any
part of this sausage
not being cut!
1342
00:59:48,877 --> 00:59:50,459
Isn't that right, Stew?
1343
00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:53,787
Well, what is this?
1344
00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:55,213
There's nothing better
1345
00:59:55,300 --> 00:59:58,964
than a tender sausage
who knows who's in charge!
1346
00:59:59,054 --> 01:00:01,261
Right, baby?
She's the boss.
1347
01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:02,338
(GRUNTING)
1348
01:00:04,518 --> 01:00:05,633
CARLA: Ooh, girl!
1349
01:00:05,685 --> 01:00:07,517
Girl, put your backinto it!
SASHA: Bash that meat.
1350
01:00:08,730 --> 01:00:11,597
If your arms ain't tired,
you ain't been cooking!
1351
01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:14,062
(ALL LAUGHING)
Who knew!
1352
01:00:14,152 --> 01:00:15,142
Kitchen shears.
1353
01:00:15,237 --> 01:00:19,026
This is an under-utilized
utensil in the kitchen.
1354
01:00:19,116 --> 01:00:20,982
Well, I'm gonna take
this under-utilized tool,
1355
01:00:21,076 --> 01:00:23,568
and I'm gonna put it on
this over-utilized sausage.
1356
01:00:23,662 --> 01:00:25,027
(ALL LAUGHING)
1357
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,698
What does that look like,
hanging like that, to you?
1358
01:00:29,876 --> 01:00:32,288
I don't know, but we
gonna cut it off today.
1359
01:00:32,379 --> 01:00:33,710
(ALL LAUGHING)
1360
01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:36,543
Oh, my God!
Ryan's a hoot.
1361
01:00:37,217 --> 01:00:38,799
She is a hoot.
Yes.
1362
01:00:38,885 --> 01:00:40,296
She's a hoot!
1363
01:00:41,429 --> 01:00:43,295
What the fuck
is going on?
1364
01:00:44,391 --> 01:00:46,132
I'm still waiting
on my sausage.
1365
01:00:46,226 --> 01:00:47,887
Oh, wait, here,
have some of mine.
1366
01:00:50,814 --> 01:00:52,805
Gagging?
You gagging?
1367
01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:56,608
CARLA: Now that, my friends,
is the essence of cooking.
1368
01:00:58,029 --> 01:00:59,895
That was fucking amazing!
1369
01:01:00,532 --> 01:01:03,149
The crowd loved it,
Bethany loved it!
1370
01:01:03,243 --> 01:01:05,234
Were those your girls?
I thought there was
only three.
1371
01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:07,194
Who's the hottie
with the badunkadunk?
1372
01:01:07,289 --> 01:01:08,324
The junk in the trunk?
1373
01:01:08,415 --> 01:01:11,578
That can had its own
soundtrack. Am I right?
(VOCALIZING)
1374
01:01:12,252 --> 01:01:13,993
She's nobody.
I've never seen
her before.
1375
01:01:14,087 --> 01:01:17,079
Oh, crap. I gotta go get
her number because she was
amazing, she's worth it.
1376
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:18,209
BOTH: No!
1377
01:01:19,259 --> 01:01:20,795
Okay, okay. Okay.
1378
01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:23,378
You know what?
It's better if it's
improvised, anyway.
1379
01:01:23,471 --> 01:01:28,841
Stewart,
there is a reporter out there
who is a big football fan.
1380
01:01:28,935 --> 01:01:30,425
Can I just borrow you
for a minute?
1381
01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:33,975
Ooh, so tense, real tight.
1382
01:01:34,608 --> 01:01:35,973
Come on, buddy,
loosen it up.
1383
01:01:36,401 --> 01:01:37,732
(SIGHS)
1384
01:01:41,448 --> 01:01:44,361
(VOICE BREAKING)
I am strong.
1385
01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:47,364
I am powerful,
I am beautiful.
1386
01:01:47,454 --> 01:01:49,616
I am strong.
1387
01:01:51,625 --> 01:01:53,286
Powerful...
1388
01:01:54,419 --> 01:01:55,534
I am beautiful.
1389
01:01:55,629 --> 01:01:59,372
I am... I am strong.
1390
01:02:00,550 --> 01:02:03,042
I am powerful.
1391
01:02:03,136 --> 01:02:04,718
I am beautiful.
1392
01:02:04,804 --> 01:02:07,922
I am strong,
I am powerful,
1393
01:02:08,016 --> 01:02:09,677
I am beautiful.
I am strong...
1394
01:02:09,768 --> 01:02:11,099
You good, Ry?
1395
01:02:11,811 --> 01:02:13,427
Yeah, I'm good.
1396
01:02:13,521 --> 01:02:15,637
All in a day's
work, right?
1397
01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:17,974
Thanks for having
my back up there.
1398
01:02:18,401 --> 01:02:19,732
(SCOFFS) Of course.
1399
01:02:24,282 --> 01:02:27,741
Ry, you can't keep
pretending that this
photo doesn't exist.
1400
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:29,993
It's gonna get out there.
1401
01:02:30,372 --> 01:02:31,988
It's all fair game
in journalism.
1402
01:02:32,082 --> 01:02:34,699
Journalism?
Is that what this is?
1403
01:02:37,587 --> 01:02:40,124
Fine. You just keep
handling your business.
1404
01:02:40,215 --> 01:02:42,673
You been doing such
a great job thus far.
1405
01:02:43,426 --> 01:02:44,632
All right.
1406
01:02:45,178 --> 01:02:46,634
Fine.
1407
01:02:49,849 --> 01:02:51,214
What do you think
I should do?
1408
01:02:52,185 --> 01:02:54,768
Well, first of all,
1409
01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:57,437
let me find out if
anyone else has the photo.
1410
01:02:57,524 --> 01:02:59,765
And if not, let me leak it.
1411
01:02:59,859 --> 01:03:02,726
Are you crazy? No,
I am in the middle of a deal.
1412
01:03:02,821 --> 01:03:05,779
I cannot have pictures
of him kissing another
woman on your site.
1413
01:03:05,865 --> 01:03:07,776
No!
Hear me out.
1414
01:03:07,867 --> 01:03:10,529
If I leak it,
you can get in front of it.
1415
01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:11,906
Steer the conversation
1416
01:03:11,997 --> 01:03:15,365
instead of letting TMZ
write their own bullshit
spin on it.
1417
01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:18,871
You find the right angle,
you minimize the damage.
1418
01:03:22,340 --> 01:03:24,377
Okay, just let me
think about it.
1419
01:03:24,467 --> 01:03:26,799
All right? And let me talk
to a few people first.
1420
01:03:26,886 --> 01:03:28,968
Let me just run it by them.
1421
01:03:29,055 --> 01:03:31,387
Can you stall them
for a little bit longer?
1422
01:03:32,100 --> 01:03:33,135
I got you.
1423
01:03:35,478 --> 01:03:36,968
Thank you, Sasha.
1424
01:03:37,522 --> 01:03:38,887
Of course.
1425
01:03:38,982 --> 01:03:39,517
I got Muslim oils,
Christian oils!
I got poodle oils!
1426
01:03:39,524 --> 01:03:42,312
I got Muslim oils,
Christian oils!
I got poodle oils!
1427
01:03:42,402 --> 01:03:43,608
I got ball sprays.
1428
01:03:44,029 --> 01:03:46,521
Everybody got a drink,
I need a drink!
1429
01:03:46,614 --> 01:03:48,446
VENDOR:
Authentic hurricanes!
Two for $25!
1430
01:03:48,533 --> 01:03:50,115
Over here!
Here we go.
Here we go.
1431
01:03:50,243 --> 01:03:51,608
I got something for the kids!
1432
01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:54,532
Two for $25?
$25.
1433
01:03:54,622 --> 01:03:56,078
Baby, baby, baby!
Hey, hey, hey, beautiful!
1434
01:03:56,541 --> 01:03:58,373
Right here,
come on, baby!
Me?
1435
01:03:58,460 --> 01:03:59,700
Yeah, right here.
1436
01:03:59,794 --> 01:04:02,832
Bye, he call me beautiful.
I'm beautiful now, huh?
1437
01:04:03,089 --> 01:04:04,921
Ooh! Lord! Lord!
1438
01:04:05,008 --> 01:04:06,999
Hi!
Hey! Got to be careful.
1439
01:04:07,093 --> 01:04:08,208
Listen, I got a look,
1440
01:04:08,303 --> 01:04:09,919
I see you over there
chasing them hurricanes.
1441
01:04:10,013 --> 01:04:11,879
I got the best thing in
New Orleans right here.
1442
01:04:11,973 --> 01:04:13,054
What's that?
1443
01:04:15,393 --> 01:04:16,508
Look at that right there.
1444
01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:20,016
What the fuck is that?
1445
01:04:20,273 --> 01:04:24,358
Ooh! This is 200-year-old
wormwood absinthe.
1446
01:04:24,444 --> 01:04:25,525
Green Fairy.
1447
01:04:25,612 --> 01:04:27,194
I want it,
give it to me.
1448
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:29,567
Hey, hey, hey! Calm down now!
You don't know what
you're getting into.
1449
01:04:29,657 --> 01:04:31,989
This stuff right here
come with instructions, okay?
1450
01:04:32,077 --> 01:04:34,694
Well, I don't give a fuck.
That shit is green, shiny,
1451
01:04:34,788 --> 01:04:36,779
and looks like it
will have me hella bent.
I want it!
1452
01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:39,240
Yes, but you're only
supposed to take a splash
of this, young lady,
1453
01:04:39,334 --> 01:04:42,201
because if you drink too
much of it, it's gonna
have you hallucinating.
1454
01:04:42,295 --> 01:04:43,456
All right,
that's cool with me.
1455
01:04:43,546 --> 01:04:46,163
Now, look, that whole
bottle will last you
for five years, all right?
1456
01:04:46,299 --> 01:04:48,290
Okay, five months,
got it.
No, no!
1457
01:04:48,385 --> 01:04:49,841
Did you hear
what I just said?
1458
01:04:49,928 --> 01:04:51,794
Five years.
You're not listening
to what I'm saying.
1459
01:04:51,888 --> 01:04:52,923
Okay, five days.
1460
01:04:53,014 --> 01:04:55,381
This will be used
very irresponsibly.
Thank you!
1461
01:04:55,475 --> 01:04:56,761
Young lady...
Sasha!
1462
01:04:56,851 --> 01:04:59,809
You about to be
a mental health patient
with a fat ass.
1463
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:03,143
Oils, incense!
I got coochie spray!
1464
01:05:03,316 --> 01:05:05,398
(MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
1465
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:08,355
Ooh! Damn!
1466
01:05:10,990 --> 01:05:13,357
Oh, that's a good one.
(LAUGHS)
1467
01:05:17,455 --> 01:05:19,537
You know what?
You guys shouldn't be
in the grass.
1468
01:05:19,624 --> 01:05:21,331
You know you're
allergic to grass.
1469
01:05:21,418 --> 01:05:22,954
MISS MILLER: Left hand red.
1470
01:05:23,044 --> 01:05:25,752
Okay. I'm about to
go see a man sing.
Oh, have fun!
1471
01:05:25,839 --> 01:05:26,920
Hi, guys!
1472
01:05:27,006 --> 01:05:28,371
Hey, Auntie Ry-Ry!
1473
01:05:28,466 --> 01:05:29,501
Bye, guys!
1474
01:05:29,592 --> 01:05:30,582
I love you! (KISSES)
1475
01:05:30,677 --> 01:05:32,042
Bye, Mama!
1476
01:05:32,137 --> 01:05:33,593
Oh, they're so cute.
1477
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,091
I miss them.
1478
01:05:35,390 --> 01:05:37,347
Mmm-hmm.
You know what?
1479
01:05:37,684 --> 01:05:40,472
Have you and
Stewart thought about
having a family?
1480
01:05:40,562 --> 01:05:41,973
I mean,
1481
01:05:42,063 --> 01:05:45,476
kids have a way
of bringing people
closer together.
1482
01:05:45,859 --> 01:05:48,897
They definitely have
a way of changing men.
1483
01:05:49,487 --> 01:05:52,821
Mmm. Yeah, made your husband
change his address!
1484
01:05:53,491 --> 01:05:54,606
(BOTH LAUGH)
1485
01:05:54,701 --> 01:05:55,862
(BOTH SIGH)
1486
01:05:56,244 --> 01:05:57,609
We've talked
about it, yeah.
1487
01:05:58,538 --> 01:06:00,870
I'm just so focused
on my career right now.
1488
01:06:01,332 --> 01:06:03,573
I get it,
but don't wait too long
1489
01:06:03,668 --> 01:06:06,035
because nobody's gonna
love you like your babies.
1490
01:06:07,380 --> 01:06:11,965
Hey! Is this
the Flossy Posse suite?
1491
01:06:12,051 --> 01:06:14,634
Yes, it is! Did you
guys get my succulent?
1492
01:06:14,721 --> 01:06:15,756
Who is you?
1493
01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:19,465
Oh, hi. Liz Davelli,
I'm Ryan's agent.
1494
01:06:19,559 --> 01:06:22,017
RYAN: Hey! Hi!
Hey!
1495
01:06:22,103 --> 01:06:23,639
Welcome! You made it.
1496
01:06:23,730 --> 01:06:25,095
Ah, I did! I did!
1497
01:06:25,231 --> 01:06:27,939
Oh, my lady, my queen!
Real quick.
(CHUCKLES) Yes?
1498
01:06:28,026 --> 01:06:29,312
Bethany wants to spend
a little one-on-one
1499
01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:32,019
with you and Stewart
at the Cjroc party.
Okay.
1500
01:06:32,113 --> 01:06:34,195
I know you're with
the F to the P.
1501
01:06:34,282 --> 01:06:35,989
But just give her
15 minutes.
1502
01:06:36,075 --> 01:06:37,986
Inspire her to add
a zero to the deal.
1503
01:06:38,077 --> 01:06:39,909
Of course, yes!
1504
01:06:40,288 --> 01:06:42,074
Hey, how about
we have a toast?
1505
01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:43,579
Ooh, are these hurricanes?
1506
01:06:44,375 --> 01:06:46,582
Fuck a hurricane, girl.
These are tsunamis!
1507
01:06:46,961 --> 01:06:48,497
Ooh! I'm scared!
1508
01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:51,171
To Friday night,
Flossy Posse style!
1509
01:06:51,257 --> 01:06:52,497
(ALL CHEERING)
1510
01:06:53,551 --> 01:06:55,508
For real, though! Mmm.
1511
01:06:56,804 --> 01:06:58,715
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1512
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:15,111
(LAUGHING)
1513
01:07:16,241 --> 01:07:17,948
(MUSIC DISTORTS)
1514
01:07:18,952 --> 01:07:20,067
Whoa.
1515
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:22,155
(CHUCKLING)
1516
01:07:22,247 --> 01:07:24,488
(IN DISTORTED VOICE)
I feel funny.
Do y'all feel funny?
1517
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:27,203
You feel funny?
I feel...
1518
01:07:27,293 --> 01:07:28,499
(IN DISTORTED VOICE)
I feel fine!
1519
01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:31,412
I feel so fine! Feel me.
Go on and feel me.
1520
01:07:31,506 --> 01:07:32,587
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
You want me to feel you?
1521
01:07:32,674 --> 01:07:33,709
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Feel me, yeah...
1522
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:34,915
(IN DISTORTED VOICE)
Ooh, yeah!
1523
01:07:35,510 --> 01:07:36,966
(CHUCKLING)
DINA: (LAUGHS) Yeah!
1524
01:07:38,012 --> 01:07:39,548
You feel squishy.
1525
01:07:39,639 --> 01:07:41,221
(ALL LAUGHING)
1526
01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:45,141
(IN DISTORTED VOICE)
Oh, shit!
1527
01:07:46,813 --> 01:07:48,099
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
We tripping.
1528
01:07:49,274 --> 01:07:50,730
We tripping.
We tripping?
1529
01:07:50,817 --> 01:07:52,399
(IN DISTORTED VOICE)
We tripping! (LAUGHS)
1530
01:07:52,694 --> 01:07:54,310
(IN SQUEAKY VOICE)
Wait a minute!
Hold up, stop!
1531
01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:56,815
(IN DISTORTED VOICE) You.
1532
01:07:58,241 --> 01:08:00,107
You put something in
them drinks, didn't you?
1533
01:08:00,785 --> 01:08:01,900
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
1534
01:08:01,995 --> 01:08:03,360
(IN DISTORTED VOICE)
We gonna be fucked up!
1535
01:08:03,955 --> 01:08:07,198
Y'all, it's not funny.
If we tripping,
1536
01:08:07,292 --> 01:08:09,408
Ryan's tripping,
and she's with Bethany!
1537
01:08:09,502 --> 01:08:10,833
Oh, shit!
1538
01:08:13,298 --> 01:08:14,880
Yeah.
Ooh!
1539
01:08:15,717 --> 01:08:16,707
(MOANS) Ah!
1540
01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:23,764
I have to tell you
that I loved your
cooking demo today.
1541
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:28,139
Yeah, the way
that you two play
off each other...
1542
01:08:28,229 --> 01:08:29,344
(STAMMERING)
It's so much fun.
1543
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:30,679
So much fun.
Yeah!
1544
01:08:30,857 --> 01:08:33,599
(LAUGHS) Listen,
how about this?
1545
01:08:33,693 --> 01:08:35,684
Cheers to fun!
1546
01:08:39,157 --> 01:08:40,898
She's so funny!
1547
01:08:40,992 --> 01:08:43,575
Yeah! Cheers! Whoo!
1548
01:08:47,624 --> 01:08:48,614
Oh...
1549
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,490
That's a terrible drink.
1550
01:08:50,585 --> 01:08:51,871
(LAUGHING)
1551
01:08:52,378 --> 01:08:54,164
Oh, man, I'm gonna have
that taken off the check.
1552
01:08:54,255 --> 01:08:56,462
Did you taste that?
The Verbena?
1553
01:08:56,549 --> 01:08:57,914
It's hot.
1554
01:08:59,552 --> 01:09:00,838
It burns.
1555
01:09:01,888 --> 01:09:03,720
Okay, look,
we gotta go save Ryan.
1556
01:09:05,391 --> 01:09:06,552
(GASPS)
1557
01:09:06,851 --> 01:09:07,966
AUSTIN: (ECHOING)
Mommy!
1558
01:09:08,895 --> 01:09:09,930
Did y'all hear that?
1559
01:09:15,693 --> 01:09:16,683
Oh, shit!
1560
01:09:16,778 --> 01:09:17,859
Austin?
1561
01:09:18,613 --> 01:09:19,648
Riley?
1562
01:09:19,739 --> 01:09:21,104
Your damn kids is here?
1563
01:09:23,910 --> 01:09:26,618
Oh, shit!
You coming to get me, God?
1564
01:09:28,539 --> 01:09:30,121
Those bitches left me.
1565
01:09:30,541 --> 01:09:31,997
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
1566
01:09:33,753 --> 01:09:34,959
BOTH: Hey, Mommy!
1567
01:09:38,591 --> 01:09:42,084
Are you having fun?
1568
01:09:42,929 --> 01:09:46,297
I am having fun,
but you have to go to bed.
1569
01:09:46,391 --> 01:09:47,597
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1570
01:09:48,976 --> 01:09:50,091
(GASPS)
1571
01:09:50,895 --> 01:09:52,306
I'm ready for bed.
1572
01:09:52,438 --> 01:09:53,724
(CHUCKLES)
1573
01:09:55,358 --> 01:09:56,769
MAN: Sasha Franklin.
1574
01:09:57,276 --> 01:09:59,108
Sasha's Secrets.
1575
01:09:59,654 --> 01:10:02,646
I really, really
love your blog.
1576
01:10:04,117 --> 01:10:05,107
Mmm.
1577
01:10:08,121 --> 01:10:09,452
(LAUGHING)
1578
01:10:10,123 --> 01:10:11,659
Why won't it come off?
1579
01:10:11,749 --> 01:10:13,114
WOMAN: How may I help you?
1580
01:10:18,381 --> 01:10:19,587
What is she doing here?
1581
01:10:21,634 --> 01:10:23,341
She's here to take
your order.
1582
01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:25,627
Oh, yeah?
1583
01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:27,045
Oh!
1584
01:10:27,181 --> 01:10:28,296
What can I get you?
1585
01:10:28,850 --> 01:10:32,093
You can get your mouth
off my husband's dick!
1586
01:10:33,438 --> 01:10:34,894
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
1587
01:10:34,981 --> 01:10:36,016
Please?
1588
01:10:36,816 --> 01:10:37,851
LIZ: Oh, hey, hey.
1589
01:10:37,942 --> 01:10:39,603
Is that a drink?
I want one.
1590
01:10:39,861 --> 01:10:42,899
Um, actually, let's get
a round for the table,
1591
01:10:45,324 --> 01:10:46,530
and put it on my card.
1592
01:10:49,537 --> 01:10:51,198
Go! You got it!
1593
01:10:51,289 --> 01:10:52,745
Coming right up. (CHUCKLES)
1594
01:10:52,999 --> 01:10:54,660
Oh, you wanna smirk?
1595
01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:57,118
Oh, so you wanna
get fucked up?
1596
01:10:57,253 --> 01:11:01,668
And don't think I
don't see that "Suck Cock"
written on your shirt!
1597
01:11:02,675 --> 01:11:04,257
Did her shirt say
"Suck Cock"?
1598
01:11:04,343 --> 01:11:05,583
(SLURPING)
1599
01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:10,422
Buddy...
1600
01:11:12,018 --> 01:11:13,850
(BOTH MOANING)
1601
01:11:17,106 --> 01:11:19,143
Ooh, shit!
Don't choke her too hard.
1602
01:11:19,233 --> 01:11:21,691
There we go! Yeah!
1603
01:11:21,778 --> 01:11:23,860
Get in those!
Get in those! Yeah!
1604
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:25,691
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
1605
01:11:26,073 --> 01:11:27,939
Ooh! Yeah! Yes!
1606
01:11:28,034 --> 01:11:32,449
Please, I wanna be rough
because you've been a bad boy!
1607
01:11:32,538 --> 01:11:33,949
Yeah! Yeah!
1608
01:11:34,040 --> 01:11:36,953
Bite it, bite it, bite it!
1609
01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:38,616
What the hell
are you doing?
1610
01:11:38,711 --> 01:11:39,746
Oh, shit!
1611
01:11:39,837 --> 01:11:40,952
What?
Hey!
1612
01:11:41,881 --> 01:11:43,497
We gotta save Ryan!
1613
01:11:45,218 --> 01:11:47,380
Yeah, but she's
so far away.
1614
01:11:47,470 --> 01:11:49,302
What are we gonna do?
Yeah.
1615
01:11:52,642 --> 01:11:54,553
We need Plan B.
1616
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:56,305
What's Plan B?
1617
01:11:56,395 --> 01:11:58,136
MAN: Yeah, what's Plan B?
1618
01:12:01,734 --> 01:12:02,769
(GASPS)
1619
01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:03,941
What are you guys
doing here?
1620
01:12:05,738 --> 01:12:07,570
I'm not really sure
what's going on here.
1621
01:12:07,907 --> 01:12:10,069
(CHUCKLES)
My apologies, Bethany.
1622
01:12:10,576 --> 01:12:14,615
Ryan has been taking
some new allergy medicine,
1623
01:12:14,705 --> 01:12:16,946
and it's having
some side effects.
1624
01:12:18,459 --> 01:12:19,540
Psst.
1625
01:12:23,214 --> 01:12:25,922
Quiet as a cat.
Ryan, we gotta go right now.
1626
01:12:26,551 --> 01:12:28,041
The tsunami has hit.
1627
01:12:28,135 --> 01:12:30,843
I repeat,
the tsunami has hit.
1628
01:12:32,932 --> 01:12:34,343
Please excuse us.
1629
01:12:34,433 --> 01:12:36,390
Couch on my head...
1630
01:12:36,769 --> 01:12:39,136
My date will pay
the check.
Okay.
1631
01:12:40,106 --> 01:12:41,938
SASHA: You may settle up
with him.
1632
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:44,690
Oh. Ooh.
1633
01:12:45,611 --> 01:12:48,649
RYAN: That is
a beautiful dress.
Is that a dress?
1634
01:12:48,948 --> 01:12:50,029
Bye!
1635
01:12:50,616 --> 01:12:51,981
RYAN: Come on, baby.
1636
01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:56,783
Please... Join us.
1637
01:12:57,415 --> 01:12:58,951
Liz Davelli.
1638
01:12:59,959 --> 01:13:01,575
Pretty hair.
1639
01:13:01,669 --> 01:13:04,206
I can't believe Bethany
just saw me like this.
1640
01:13:04,964 --> 01:13:06,580
We need to hide.
1641
01:13:07,633 --> 01:13:09,249
You know she won't
find you in there.
1642
01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:11,004
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(WOMEN CHEERING)
1643
01:13:11,345 --> 01:13:13,302
Oh, yeah.
Let's dance
this shit off.
1644
01:13:13,389 --> 01:13:15,630
'Cause I gotta
keep a low profile.
1645
01:13:16,183 --> 01:13:18,265
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)
1646
01:13:24,692 --> 01:13:28,731
Mmm. It smells like Hennessy
and booty sweat up in here!
1647
01:13:28,821 --> 01:13:30,983
We done found our tribe.
1648
01:13:31,073 --> 01:13:33,485
Come on, bitches,
let's set it off.
1649
01:13:57,516 --> 01:13:59,348
Do that shit,
Dina. What!
1650
01:14:01,938 --> 01:14:03,599
SIMONE: Girl, look at
these old bitches.
1651
01:14:08,861 --> 01:14:10,522
Hey! Hold up,
hold up, hold up!
1652
01:14:12,198 --> 01:14:13,484
(JEERING)
1653
01:14:16,202 --> 01:14:17,863
(CROWD CHEERING)
1654
01:14:39,934 --> 01:14:41,049
Y'all, come on!
1655
01:14:55,157 --> 01:14:56,192
RYAN: All right!
1656
01:15:15,302 --> 01:15:17,464
Come on!
What you sayin'?
1657
01:15:37,450 --> 01:15:38,440
(SCREAMS)
1658
01:15:59,055 --> 01:16:00,716
That's real ass.
1659
01:16:01,974 --> 01:16:05,592
CROWD: Hey! Hey! Hey!
1660
01:16:05,686 --> 01:16:06,972
Bye.
1661
01:16:08,773 --> 01:16:10,184
LISA: Yeah, baby!
1662
01:16:10,274 --> 01:16:12,265
DINA: I slipped.
I think I pulled a big toe.
1663
01:16:12,359 --> 01:16:13,394
(LAUGHING)
1664
01:16:13,486 --> 01:16:14,476
That's all right.
1665
01:16:14,612 --> 01:16:18,571
RYAN:
Man, we owned that ho.
Owned that ho!
1666
01:16:18,657 --> 01:16:19,988
(LAUGHING)
1667
01:16:22,661 --> 01:16:23,867
(GRUNTS)
1668
01:16:27,124 --> 01:16:28,410
Not this.
1669
01:16:28,501 --> 01:16:32,745
You know what, I'm sure
everyone is expecting me
to beat your ass.
1670
01:16:32,838 --> 01:16:34,328
RYAN: Please beat her ass.
1671
01:16:34,423 --> 01:16:37,336
But I'm coming from
a place of love tonight.
1672
01:16:37,426 --> 01:16:40,339
And you have
a hallucinogenic drug
to thank for that.
1673
01:16:42,223 --> 01:16:44,089
But mine wore off.
So what's up?
1674
01:16:44,183 --> 01:16:45,765
(ALL SCREAMING)
1675
01:16:46,936 --> 01:16:47,926
(GRUNTS)
1676
01:16:48,020 --> 01:16:50,011
Lisa! See that, bitch?
1677
01:16:51,232 --> 01:16:53,189
(ALL CLAMORING)
1678
01:17:03,119 --> 01:17:04,655
I said I got kids.
1679
01:17:09,750 --> 01:17:10,785
(GRUNTS)
1680
01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:12,537
DINA: Bitch,
I'm about to fuck you up!
1681
01:17:14,046 --> 01:17:15,207
(SCREAMING)
1682
01:17:18,717 --> 01:17:19,878
Here I come!
1683
01:17:22,388 --> 01:17:24,049
(SIRENS WAILING)
1684
01:17:25,057 --> 01:17:28,425
Cops! Cops!
Come on, it's the cops!
1685
01:17:28,519 --> 01:17:29,930
Sorry.
1686
01:17:36,610 --> 01:17:38,396
Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on here?
1687
01:17:38,487 --> 01:17:40,899
Officer, it was four women
in multicolored wigs
1688
01:17:40,990 --> 01:17:42,981
who started the whole thing.
But they're still in there.
1689
01:17:43,075 --> 01:17:44,691
So, please hurry!
1690
01:17:47,454 --> 01:17:49,115
Shit!
1691
01:17:49,582 --> 01:17:50,617
JULIAN: Ryan!
1692
01:17:51,083 --> 01:17:52,949
RYAN: Julian!
1693
01:17:53,043 --> 01:17:55,000
Flossy Posse
strikes again, huh?
1694
01:17:55,421 --> 01:17:57,708
Julian.
JULIAN: Good Lord!
1695
01:18:01,427 --> 01:18:03,384
(SIGHS)
How did you find us?
1696
01:18:04,930 --> 01:18:06,261
I have superpowers.
1697
01:18:06,932 --> 01:18:08,422
You must.
1698
01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:12,845
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Or maybe, uh...
1699
01:18:13,731 --> 01:18:15,517
Maybe it was this
text you sent me.
1700
01:18:17,276 --> 01:18:19,358
RYAN: Julian,
we're lost in space!
1701
01:18:19,445 --> 01:18:21,186
DINA: I'm not...
1702
01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:22,987
(ALL LAUGHING)
1703
01:18:24,450 --> 01:18:26,862
DINA: You got me showing
my titties to Julian.
1704
01:18:26,952 --> 01:18:28,568
You all need to see
these Biggie Smalls...
1705
01:18:28,662 --> 01:18:29,868
Oh, my God!
1706
01:18:29,955 --> 01:18:33,118
I definitely do not
remember making that.
1707
01:18:34,210 --> 01:18:36,417
I think Dina was right
about her Biggie Smalls.
1708
01:18:36,629 --> 01:18:37,710
Burned in the brain.
1709
01:18:38,255 --> 01:18:41,498
DINA: Thanks, Julian.
That's what all the boys say.
(LAUGHS)
1710
01:18:41,967 --> 01:18:43,173
(JULIAN LAUGHS)
1711
01:18:44,595 --> 01:18:46,256
Julian, have you heard
of that record that goes,
1712
01:18:46,347 --> 01:18:48,509
"Bitch! Bitch! Motherfucker!
Motherfucker! Bitch!
1713
01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:51,762
"Bitch! Bitch!
Motherfucker! That's my shit!
That's my new shit!"
1714
01:18:51,852 --> 01:18:54,594
That's misogynistic.
We don't like it.
1715
01:18:54,688 --> 01:18:57,771
All right, ladies.
You have a great evening.
1716
01:18:57,858 --> 01:18:59,724
Ju-Ju.
Thank you, baby.
1717
01:18:59,818 --> 01:19:02,059
Sash, I got you, babe.
You know that.
1718
01:19:02,363 --> 01:19:03,979
Ooh!
Now, take it easy, Lis.
1719
01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:05,484
Yeah.
Take it easy.
1720
01:19:05,574 --> 01:19:07,906
Thank you, Julian.
You're welcome.
1721
01:19:07,993 --> 01:19:09,199
Thanks, bruh.
Thank you!
1722
01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:12,369
My girl.
My boy. All right.
1723
01:19:12,456 --> 01:19:13,446
Ry, you okay?
1724
01:19:13,540 --> 01:19:17,283
Oh, yeah. I'll just be
pouring my own drinks
1725
01:19:17,378 --> 01:19:18,868
for the rest of the weekend,
that's all.
1726
01:19:19,004 --> 01:19:21,666
That sounds like
a good plan.
Yeah, I think so. (LAUGHS)
1727
01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:22,955
Thanks for
everything, though.
1728
01:19:23,050 --> 01:19:25,087
Anytime. You know that.
1729
01:19:25,177 --> 01:19:26,633
(BOTH LAUGH)
1730
01:19:31,809 --> 01:19:33,174
(SIGHS)
1731
01:19:53,706 --> 01:19:55,788
(CLEARS THROAT) Um...
1732
01:19:56,792 --> 01:19:59,580
All right, so...
(INHALES SHARPLY)
1733
01:20:02,965 --> 01:20:04,501
Good night.
1734
01:20:06,885 --> 01:20:08,501
Good night.
1735
01:20:09,596 --> 01:20:11,382
Good night.
(CHUCKLES)
1736
01:20:14,059 --> 01:20:15,220
(CHUCKLES)
1737
01:20:20,399 --> 01:20:22,481
Hmm?
Good night.
1738
01:20:22,568 --> 01:20:24,058
Oh, yes.
Yep.
1739
01:20:24,403 --> 01:20:25,814
Morning like, you know?
1740
01:20:27,156 --> 01:20:28,191
Yeah.
1741
01:20:35,956 --> 01:20:36,991
Ha!
1742
01:20:37,082 --> 01:20:38,948
Hey, look,
she had it comin'.
1743
01:20:39,043 --> 01:20:40,533
She was trippin'.
1744
01:20:40,627 --> 01:20:43,335
She was!
I'm just happy
Freaknik Lisa is back.
1745
01:20:43,422 --> 01:20:45,413
Hey.
Right?
1746
01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:48,545
Too bad all
that pent-up energy
is going to waste.
1747
01:20:48,635 --> 01:20:49,750
Mmm-hmm.
1748
01:20:57,936 --> 01:20:59,552
What was that, Sasha?
1749
01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:03,640
What was that
you were saying about
pent-up energy?
1750
01:21:03,734 --> 01:21:06,101
You texted him?
I did.
1751
01:21:06,653 --> 01:21:07,984
LISA: Never doubt.
1752
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:09,770
Never doubt a boss.
1753
01:21:10,449 --> 01:21:11,405
(SINGING)
1754
01:21:11,492 --> 01:21:12,607
Because I slay
1755
01:21:12,701 --> 01:21:14,612
I slay, I slay, all day
1756
01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:17,445
All day, all day,
all day, I slay
1757
01:21:17,998 --> 01:21:19,705
Have a good evening, ladies.
1758
01:21:19,792 --> 01:21:21,123
RYAN: You, too.
1759
01:21:21,627 --> 01:21:23,959
Yes, hunty! Yes!
1760
01:21:24,046 --> 01:21:27,209
Just give in when he starts
smashing them organs up.
1761
01:21:28,175 --> 01:21:31,213
He's gonna knock
the cobwebs off that thing,
you understand me?
1762
01:21:31,595 --> 01:21:34,212
Oh, do you remember when
life was that simple?
1763
01:21:34,932 --> 01:21:38,345
All you wanted was
just to like a guy enough
to wanna give him some.
1764
01:21:38,477 --> 01:21:41,845
Mmm-hmm.
That's all we worried about.
That, and being broke.
1765
01:21:41,939 --> 01:21:44,180
Hmm. Those problems are
behind us, thank God.
1766
01:21:44,274 --> 01:21:45,639
For real.
1767
01:21:47,403 --> 01:21:51,317
(SIGHS)
I miss you, Sasha.
I really do.
1768
01:21:51,407 --> 01:21:53,398
I miss you, too.
1769
01:21:53,867 --> 01:21:55,653
We were gonna take
over the world together.
1770
01:21:56,578 --> 01:21:59,741
Yeah, we didn't quite get
around to that, did we?
1771
01:21:59,832 --> 01:22:03,166
I just hate seeing you
chasing that
celebrity bullshit.
1772
01:22:03,252 --> 01:22:06,040
You are so much
better than that.
1773
01:22:07,297 --> 01:22:10,085
I'm good.
I'm handling mine.
1774
01:22:11,802 --> 01:22:14,214
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. No, I know.
1775
01:22:19,560 --> 01:22:23,303
You know, Ryan, you don't
have to keep pretending
like you have it all.
1776
01:22:24,273 --> 01:22:26,981
I know you wanna help people.
You always have,
1777
01:22:27,067 --> 01:22:31,356
but maybe you would help
them more if you just tell
them the truth.
1778
01:22:32,114 --> 01:22:33,696
That this shit is hard.
1779
01:22:34,741 --> 01:22:35,776
(SIGHS)
1780
01:22:35,868 --> 01:22:39,156
If I had your strength,
Sash, maybe I would. But...
1781
01:22:41,248 --> 01:22:43,080
I'm not that girl anymore.
1782
01:22:44,793 --> 01:22:47,160
DINA: Y'all heifers about
to kiss now, or what?
1783
01:22:47,379 --> 01:22:48,869
Jesus, get a room!
1784
01:22:49,173 --> 01:22:50,709
(ALL LAUGHING)
1785
01:22:53,385 --> 01:22:54,875
(LISA MOANING)
1786
01:22:59,057 --> 01:23:01,219
The beaver has
cut down the tree!
1787
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:03,221
RYAN: Wow.
Yes!
1788
01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:04,552
About time.
1789
01:23:04,980 --> 01:23:06,061
She needed some.
1790
01:23:12,321 --> 01:23:15,063
DINA: All right, girl,
that's what I'm talkin' about!
1791
01:23:15,324 --> 01:23:16,940
What's she gonna do
with the grapefruit?
1792
01:23:17,117 --> 01:23:18,323
She about to
grapefruit him.
1793
01:23:18,410 --> 01:23:20,276
What is that?
You've never
grapefruited?
1794
01:23:20,370 --> 01:23:21,360
No, Dina.
1795
01:23:21,455 --> 01:23:22,741
Girl...
Dina...
1796
01:23:29,338 --> 01:23:30,703
Oh, Lord,
have mercy.
1797
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,546
Oh, my God.
1798
01:23:32,633 --> 01:23:34,624
He is a monster
with it.
1799
01:23:34,718 --> 01:23:36,083
I ain't never use
two grapefruits,
1800
01:23:36,178 --> 01:23:38,510
but wait, let's listen,
let's listen, let's listen.
1801
01:23:38,931 --> 01:23:41,514
Five, four,
1802
01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:44,843
three, two, one!
1803
01:23:45,062 --> 01:23:46,518
(MALIK SCREAMING)
1804
01:23:47,606 --> 01:23:50,223
MALIK: Lisa!
LISA: Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry!
1805
01:23:50,317 --> 01:23:53,309
LISA: I'm gonna get the water.
The water will wash it out
real quick.
1806
01:23:53,403 --> 01:23:54,393
What'd she do?
Bite it off?
1807
01:23:54,488 --> 01:23:55,728
(MALIK SCREAMING)
1808
01:23:56,281 --> 01:23:59,364
I got grapefruit juice
in the peepee hole.
I need a first aid kit.
1809
01:23:59,451 --> 01:24:01,909
MALIK: Lisa! It burns!
1810
01:24:01,995 --> 01:24:03,360
Oh, my God, I think
I left it in my bag.
1811
01:24:03,455 --> 01:24:04,445
MALIK: My dick is on fire!
1812
01:24:04,540 --> 01:24:06,451
All I have is eye wash.
Oh, my God!
1813
01:24:06,583 --> 01:24:08,244
My dick is
on fire, Lisa!
Okay, just calm down.
1814
01:24:08,335 --> 01:24:10,076
I got some cooling cream.
1815
01:24:10,170 --> 01:24:11,752
I got some aloe.
1816
01:24:11,838 --> 01:24:13,124
Oh, my gosh!
I'm so sorry!
MALIK: Do something!
1817
01:24:13,215 --> 01:24:15,456
It was my first time!
You said
you were a nurse!
1818
01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:17,466
You said you were a nurse!
It was an experiment!
1819
01:24:17,636 --> 01:24:19,502
LISA: I wanted to try
something new!
Oh, my God.
1820
01:24:19,805 --> 01:24:22,923
MALIK: What happened
to a normal blowjob?
(SCREAMS)
1821
01:24:23,058 --> 01:24:24,799
Ooh, that's that
Shaka Zulu right there.
1822
01:24:25,644 --> 01:24:27,430
LISA: I got some aloe.
Girl...
1823
01:24:29,314 --> 01:24:32,272
MALIK: (SHOUTING)
What kind of freaky,
old-school shit is this?
1824
01:24:32,359 --> 01:24:33,440
(SCREAMING)
1825
01:24:35,737 --> 01:24:39,571
I'm working on it.
I will have it to you by
the end of the weekend.
1826
01:24:40,492 --> 01:24:41,982
And it's good. It's good.
1827
01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:45,615
I'm talking
about "Caitlyn Jenner
pregnant by Tiger" good.
1828
01:24:46,540 --> 01:24:47,996
Photos to come.
1829
01:24:48,166 --> 01:24:49,497
(SIGHS)
1830
01:25:01,847 --> 01:25:03,884
Sasha!
Let's go!
1831
01:25:04,766 --> 01:25:07,724
You don't need no man
right now or anything.
1832
01:25:08,186 --> 01:25:10,518
You two have built
an incredible brand.
1833
01:25:11,064 --> 01:25:14,523
We think that Ryan
and Stewart can
be to Best Mart
1834
01:25:14,735 --> 01:25:17,898
what Martha Stewart is
to K-Mart. But bigger.
1835
01:25:18,196 --> 01:25:19,186
Really?
1836
01:25:19,531 --> 01:25:22,740
Bottom line is that
you two give people hope.
1837
01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:25,325
That you can have it all.
1838
01:25:25,412 --> 01:25:26,868
And we want in.
1839
01:25:28,457 --> 01:25:30,824
That's fantastic.
1840
01:25:31,209 --> 01:25:32,495
LIZ: It is.
1841
01:25:32,586 --> 01:25:37,205
It is, but let's be honest.
It's, uh, all about the offer.
1842
01:25:57,444 --> 01:25:59,185
Holy shit!
1843
01:26:01,156 --> 01:26:02,146
(CLEARS THROAT)
1844
01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:04,652
I mean,
it's a very good start.
1845
01:26:04,743 --> 01:26:09,203
I'll convene with my team,
and we'll get back to you.
1846
01:26:14,753 --> 01:26:17,336
BETHANY: Sounds good.
Gentlemen?
1847
01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:21,003
Ryan?
Yes. Thank you, Bethany.
1848
01:26:21,093 --> 01:26:22,754
Stewart.
Thank you.
1849
01:26:25,097 --> 01:26:26,758
DINA: Thank you!
That's smart.
1850
01:26:27,140 --> 01:26:28,426
Get it, get it, get it!
1851
01:26:29,851 --> 01:26:31,433
ALL: Cheers!
1852
01:26:32,521 --> 01:26:36,105
Hey, Sasha, you think
your paparazzi guy would
sell the photo to me?
1853
01:26:36,525 --> 01:26:38,857
We could bury that shit
and just move forward?
1854
01:26:40,028 --> 01:26:44,113
Yeah. I mean,
I can find out. Why?
What's going on?
1855
01:26:45,075 --> 01:26:48,158
Well, ladies,
Stew and I talked today,
1856
01:26:48,245 --> 01:26:51,454
and I really think
our marriage is gonna
get back on track.
1857
01:26:52,582 --> 01:26:53,572
Oh!
1858
01:26:53,667 --> 01:26:56,125
So, you gonna take
that community penis back.
1859
01:26:56,670 --> 01:26:59,002
(CHUCKLES) Look, y'all,
men have egos.
1860
01:26:59,089 --> 01:27:02,047
His was deflated.
Retiring, it screwed him up.
1861
01:27:02,134 --> 01:27:04,967
And you know how men are.
Rudderless, needing a purpose.
1862
01:27:05,762 --> 01:27:08,345
All right.
Used, but not broken.
1863
01:27:10,308 --> 01:27:11,719
Well, cheers to that.
1864
01:27:11,810 --> 01:27:13,175
DINA: Cheers
to that part, yes.
1865
01:27:13,562 --> 01:27:16,805
Yes, yes, yes.
1866
01:27:16,898 --> 01:27:18,138
(CROWD CHEERING)
1867
01:27:18,650 --> 01:27:20,106
DINA: Oh, look,
there goes Julian.
1868
01:27:25,574 --> 01:27:27,531
(WOMAN WHOOPING)
(CROWD CONTINUES CHEERING)
1869
01:27:28,869 --> 01:27:31,361
I see you, Julian.
I see you, boy.
1870
01:27:33,290 --> 01:27:34,405
(SINGING)
1871
01:27:50,307 --> 01:27:51,342
He is killing the bass.
1872
01:28:12,788 --> 01:28:15,325
I'm serious.
You were so good.
1873
01:28:15,415 --> 01:28:16,905
Well, thank you.
1874
01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:18,411
Like, I can't...
I can't even...
1875
01:28:18,502 --> 01:28:20,163
Stop it. Stop it.
I know, I can't believe it.
1876
01:28:20,253 --> 01:28:22,085
You know how far
you've come from when
you used to make
1877
01:28:22,172 --> 01:28:24,539
the slow jam mixtapes,
back in the day.
1878
01:28:24,633 --> 01:28:26,340
The J Slow Jam Mixtape.
1879
01:28:26,426 --> 01:28:28,087
J Slow Jam.
1880
01:28:28,178 --> 01:28:29,418
Those were legendary.
1881
01:28:29,513 --> 01:28:32,005
They were. I'm not
gonna front. They were.
1882
01:28:32,098 --> 01:28:34,886
Yes. I'm just, you know,
working on my craft.
1883
01:28:34,976 --> 01:28:37,092
Wow, I can tell.
Did you see those ladies?
1884
01:28:37,187 --> 01:28:39,554
They were going
crazy for you.
(CHUCKLES)
1885
01:28:39,648 --> 01:28:41,264
I can see why
you're not married.
1886
01:28:41,358 --> 01:28:45,443
Oh. Oh, so now you wanna
analyze me, Dr. Pierce?
1887
01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:48,445
Is that what we're doing?
No. I am serious, though.
1888
01:28:48,532 --> 01:28:51,445
No, be honest.
Come on, come on,
what is it you got?
1889
01:28:51,576 --> 01:28:54,819
Commitment issues?
Restless soul?
Oh, come on.
1890
01:28:54,913 --> 01:28:57,325
Look. Tortured artist...
Why do I gotta be tortured?
1891
01:28:57,415 --> 01:28:59,452
...who only has
time for his music?
No.
1892
01:28:59,918 --> 01:29:02,706
Or is it just too
much ass to pass up?
1893
01:29:03,588 --> 01:29:05,545
Truthfully?
Don't lie.
1894
01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:08,545
It's a whole lot
of ass out there.
(BOTH LAUGH)
1895
01:29:08,635 --> 01:29:10,501
No, no.
No, listen.
1896
01:29:10,595 --> 01:29:12,256
Just be honest. What is it?
1897
01:29:14,266 --> 01:29:16,098
I haven't found my equal yet.
1898
01:29:18,687 --> 01:29:20,803
If the right woman
came along,
1899
01:29:22,232 --> 01:29:23,768
I'm 100% in.
1900
01:29:26,945 --> 01:29:28,401
DINA: I mean...
Come on.
1901
01:29:28,488 --> 01:29:30,604
They don't
wanna hear you talk.
That's true.
1902
01:29:32,659 --> 01:29:33,649
(LAUGHTER)
1903
01:29:37,664 --> 01:29:38,995
Where you think you going?
1904
01:29:39,082 --> 01:29:40,413
To get your
ass kicked again?
1905
01:29:40,500 --> 01:29:41,831
I need to talk to Ryan.
1906
01:29:41,918 --> 01:29:44,410
That's not gonna happen.
Let's go.
1907
01:29:50,844 --> 01:29:52,630
How'd you know she
was here, anyway?
1908
01:29:56,766 --> 01:29:59,849
Fuck. I gotta get
a new line of work.
1909
01:29:59,936 --> 01:30:02,678
All right,
I'll deliver your
message. What's up?
1910
01:30:02,772 --> 01:30:05,309
I just found out.
I'm pregnant.
1911
01:30:06,109 --> 01:30:09,022
And before you
even insult me,
yes, it's Stewart's.
1912
01:30:09,654 --> 01:30:10,644
Does he know?
1913
01:30:10,739 --> 01:30:12,400
I told him,
and now this motherfucker
1914
01:30:12,490 --> 01:30:14,072
won't return any of
my calls or texts.
1915
01:30:14,159 --> 01:30:16,742
Aw. Let me go find
a tear to shed for you.
1916
01:30:16,828 --> 01:30:18,819
I don't need your shade, okay?
That's not why I came here.
1917
01:30:18,914 --> 01:30:20,621
Well, why did you come here?
1918
01:30:20,707 --> 01:30:22,368
Because I didn't make
this baby by myself.
1919
01:30:23,251 --> 01:30:24,491
Bottom line,
1920
01:30:24,586 --> 01:30:28,625
I need Stewart to call me back
within the next 24 hours,
or I will go public.
1921
01:30:29,633 --> 01:30:33,126
And I might be willing
to spill this tea
on your little site.
1922
01:30:33,219 --> 01:30:35,506
Give the exclusive
to Sasha's Secrets.
1923
01:30:36,222 --> 01:30:39,590
And I have pictures.
Nasty, freaky pictures, too.
1924
01:30:40,518 --> 01:30:41,724
Think it over.
1925
01:30:47,442 --> 01:30:48,432
(SIGHS)
1926
01:30:48,777 --> 01:30:50,267
What was that about?
1927
01:30:54,324 --> 01:30:56,565
RYAN: Oh, you can tell you
got a eye for sweet...
1928
01:30:56,660 --> 01:31:00,198
Listen, I got a eye
for it all. Trust me.
Yeah, you do.
1929
01:31:00,288 --> 01:31:01,778
Hey, what up, y'all?
1930
01:31:04,584 --> 01:31:06,040
What's wrong?
1931
01:31:10,215 --> 01:31:12,047
I tried everything.
1932
01:31:14,427 --> 01:31:16,384
I went to all
the top specialists.
1933
01:31:18,556 --> 01:31:22,925
I tried every
fertility treatment
on the market, and...
1934
01:31:23,895 --> 01:31:24,930
(CLICKS TONGUE) Nothing.
1935
01:31:29,693 --> 01:31:31,775
She gave him
what I couldn't.
1936
01:31:35,490 --> 01:31:37,948
Why didn't you tell us
1937
01:31:38,034 --> 01:31:40,822
that you were having
a problem getting pregnant?
1938
01:31:40,912 --> 01:31:43,370
Because I was
embarrassed.
1939
01:31:44,082 --> 01:31:45,993
I didn't want anyone to know.
1940
01:31:51,506 --> 01:31:52,667
Look what I did.
1941
01:31:52,757 --> 01:31:54,418
That's their baby.
1942
01:31:55,635 --> 01:31:59,845
I took a pug,
and I put that with Stewart,
and made this bitch baby.
1943
01:31:59,931 --> 01:32:01,763
And they can have that
little bitch ass baby.
1944
01:32:01,850 --> 01:32:03,511
It's gonna have
a big old booty,
1945
01:32:03,601 --> 01:32:05,842
and a ugly ass face,
just like his momma.
1946
01:32:05,937 --> 01:32:07,974
Look, and then I made
a variety of babies,
1947
01:32:08,064 --> 01:32:10,772
in case they decide to have
a litter of bitch babies.
1948
01:32:10,859 --> 01:32:12,224
Little Pound Puppies.
1949
01:32:12,360 --> 01:32:13,691
(CHUCKLING)
1950
01:32:13,820 --> 01:32:17,734
They gonna make
a ugly ass bitch baby.
You understand me?
1951
01:32:18,199 --> 01:32:19,234
I love you.
1952
01:32:19,617 --> 01:32:22,530
Look at that baby,
looks like it
licks its own ass.
1953
01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:24,323
That's how ugly
their baby is.
1954
01:32:24,789 --> 01:32:26,120
That one...
1955
01:32:26,291 --> 01:32:27,577
DINA: It's an ugly
ass baby, ain't it?
1956
01:32:27,709 --> 01:32:29,541
(RYAN CHUCKLING)
It's Stewart.
1957
01:32:30,253 --> 01:32:31,334
The hell?
1958
01:32:31,421 --> 01:32:32,456
STEWART: Ryan,
1959
01:32:32,964 --> 01:32:34,671
please, let me in.
1960
01:32:34,841 --> 01:32:35,831
DINA: What he want?
1961
01:32:36,676 --> 01:32:37,711
Let him in.
1962
01:32:42,307 --> 01:32:43,468
(SIGHS)
1963
01:32:47,353 --> 01:32:49,014
You a piece of shit.
1964
01:32:57,739 --> 01:32:59,150
We need to talk.
1965
01:33:03,828 --> 01:33:05,034
Alone.
1966
01:33:05,872 --> 01:33:07,579
There ain't nothin'
you need to say to her
1967
01:33:07,665 --> 01:33:09,247
that you can't
say in front of us.
1968
01:33:09,334 --> 01:33:10,324
Mmm-hmm.
1969
01:33:15,965 --> 01:33:18,252
It's okay. It's okay.
1970
01:33:20,637 --> 01:33:22,378
We'll wait for you
downstairs.
1971
01:33:24,641 --> 01:33:25,927
Here, take my stun gun.
1972
01:33:26,017 --> 01:33:28,475
Now, this button right here,
it raises the voltage of it.
1973
01:33:28,561 --> 01:33:30,427
As a matter of fact,
you know what, fuck it.
1974
01:33:30,522 --> 01:33:32,263
I'm gonna just leave
it on high, all right?
1975
01:33:32,357 --> 01:33:34,689
Just tag him
right in the balls
if he do something.
1976
01:33:36,778 --> 01:33:39,190
Both balls. Dick, too.
1977
01:33:49,624 --> 01:33:51,240
I spoke with Simone.
1978
01:33:54,587 --> 01:33:56,954
She agreed to sign an NDA
1979
01:33:57,048 --> 01:34:00,086
in exchange for
a monthly payment
for her and the baby.
1980
01:34:00,385 --> 01:34:01,716
I could
1981
01:34:02,512 --> 01:34:03,593
kill you.
1982
01:34:03,680 --> 01:34:05,887
I am so furious right now.
1983
01:34:07,225 --> 01:34:10,388
And you have
every right to be.
1984
01:34:11,354 --> 01:34:15,097
Do you even
love me anymore?
1985
01:34:17,235 --> 01:34:18,646
Of course I do.
1986
01:34:18,736 --> 01:34:22,195
I made a terrible mistake.
1987
01:34:23,867 --> 01:34:27,155
I know you can't trust me
as your husband anymore.
1988
01:34:28,538 --> 01:34:30,905
But you can trust
me as your partner.
1989
01:34:32,250 --> 01:34:36,244
This deal will
set us up for life.
1990
01:34:37,046 --> 01:34:38,878
But we can't do it apart.
1991
01:34:40,091 --> 01:34:42,082
Ryan without Stewart
1992
01:34:43,303 --> 01:34:45,260
doesn't have it all.
1993
01:34:50,935 --> 01:34:52,175
(EXHALES)
1994
01:34:53,771 --> 01:34:56,263
I just hope she kicked
his cheating ass out
1995
01:34:56,357 --> 01:35:00,021
and tagged his dick skin
until it fried like bacon.
1996
01:35:00,111 --> 01:35:03,024
Damn, Lis, I thought
you wanted them
to work it out.
1997
01:35:03,114 --> 01:35:05,981
Yeah, well, I changed
my mind as soon as I saw
his arrogant face,
1998
01:35:06,075 --> 01:35:10,194
so fuck him and that
disaster of a woman
he impregnated.
1999
01:35:10,622 --> 01:35:12,283
SASHA: Amen.
DINA: Mmm-hmm.
2000
01:35:12,665 --> 01:35:15,077
LISA: Unbelievable,
and she's been
up there too long.
2001
01:35:15,835 --> 01:35:17,917
What the hell's going on?
2002
01:35:24,135 --> 01:35:25,421
What in the...
2003
01:35:25,511 --> 01:35:26,672
Damn!
The fuck?
2004
01:35:26,763 --> 01:35:28,424
DINA: The fuck?
2005
01:35:28,514 --> 01:35:30,004
LISA: Why is she doing that?
2006
01:35:30,975 --> 01:35:32,636
(SIGHS)
Really, though?
2007
01:35:36,648 --> 01:35:38,605
What the fuck?
Damn!
2008
01:35:46,491 --> 01:35:47,777
Are you staying with him?
2009
01:35:48,159 --> 01:35:50,651
Stew figured out
a way to handle
the Simone situation,
2010
01:35:50,745 --> 01:35:52,406
so it's gonna be fine.
2011
01:35:52,497 --> 01:35:54,238
Oh, wait, no,
hold up. Stop. Wait.
2012
01:35:54,332 --> 01:35:57,415
So, he dickmatized
you that quick?
2013
01:35:57,502 --> 01:35:58,992
Dina, he's my husband.
2014
01:35:59,087 --> 01:36:00,669
He's not some guy
in a bathroom stall.
2015
01:36:00,755 --> 01:36:03,042
I'm not just gonna
throw everything away.
2016
01:36:03,841 --> 01:36:05,832
You know what,
Ry, I get it.
2017
01:36:05,927 --> 01:36:07,417
Because when I was
leaving Terrence,
2018
01:36:07,512 --> 01:36:08,593
I was terrified.
(PHONE RINGING)
2019
01:36:08,680 --> 01:36:10,512
I didn't think
I was gonna be able
to do it on my own.
2020
01:36:10,598 --> 01:36:13,090
But I've been
figuring it out.
You will, too.
2021
01:36:13,184 --> 01:36:14,265
I'll help you.
2022
01:36:14,978 --> 01:36:17,390
Lisa, that's sweet,
but I'm not like you.
2023
01:36:17,480 --> 01:36:19,221
You don't understand,
I can't live with my mother.
2024
01:36:22,068 --> 01:36:24,901
Well, what is wrong
with living
with your mother?
2025
01:36:24,988 --> 01:36:26,444
I love my mother.
2026
01:36:26,531 --> 01:36:28,488
You don't get it,
you all can't get it.
2027
01:36:28,574 --> 01:36:31,737
You're not in my world.
You don't live my life!
2028
01:36:31,828 --> 01:36:33,489
I can't just
walk away from that.
2029
01:36:33,579 --> 01:36:35,991
I give people hope,
I don't have a choice.
(PHONE RINGING)
2030
01:36:36,082 --> 01:36:38,198
Where's your hope?
This is you choosing,
2031
01:36:38,293 --> 01:36:40,250
and this choice
is diminishing you.
2032
01:36:40,336 --> 01:36:42,122
Diminishing me?
2033
01:36:42,213 --> 01:36:46,753
Says the woman who
chooses to talk shit about
people for a living?
2034
01:36:48,177 --> 01:36:50,214
Way to use that
journalism degree, Sash.
2035
01:36:50,346 --> 01:36:53,464
Look, I gotta pay bills,
and, for the record...
(PHONE RINGING)
2036
01:36:53,558 --> 01:36:55,094
I have multiple degrees.
2037
01:36:55,226 --> 01:36:57,968
Then use one of them.
How can you go and
tell me to use them?
2038
01:36:58,062 --> 01:37:00,394
All right!
Let's have a time-out.
2039
01:37:00,523 --> 01:37:03,185
Just a little breather,
and just take a moment.
(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)
2040
01:37:03,276 --> 01:37:04,391
RYAN: Yes, hello!
2041
01:37:04,527 --> 01:37:05,983
They trippin'.
LIZ: (ON PHONE)
Ryan, have you seen it?
2042
01:37:06,070 --> 01:37:07,105
RYAN: What?
Oh, shit!
2043
01:37:07,196 --> 01:37:08,857
LIZ: Fucking Simone!Is that that bitchfrom the demo?
2044
01:37:08,948 --> 01:37:10,655
Wait.
LIZ: Have you beenon the Internet?
2045
01:37:10,742 --> 01:37:12,608
It's a disaster!
It's just a shitshow.
2046
01:37:12,702 --> 01:37:14,488
All right.
But I'm gonna fix it.
2047
01:37:14,579 --> 01:37:15,910
Oh, hell no.
2048
01:37:16,539 --> 01:37:17,654
RYAN: You!
2049
01:37:17,749 --> 01:37:21,367
Conniving! You are sneaky!
How could you do that?
2050
01:37:21,461 --> 01:37:22,826
You think I did this?
2051
01:37:22,920 --> 01:37:24,752
I didn't do this!
Simone must have!
2052
01:37:24,839 --> 01:37:28,332
Simone, who you
were huddled up,
talking to in the corner?
2053
01:37:28,801 --> 01:37:30,712
Huh? That Simone?
2054
01:37:31,137 --> 01:37:32,878
Wait, what did you do?
2055
01:37:32,972 --> 01:37:35,634
Did you sell it
to another site
to cover your tracks?
2056
01:37:35,725 --> 01:37:37,762
Are you serious?
'Cause, you know what,
I know you're broke!
2057
01:37:37,852 --> 01:37:39,684
I see you hiding
your tags in your shirt.
2058
01:37:39,771 --> 01:37:42,012
We all see it.
I'm not stupid!
2059
01:37:43,274 --> 01:37:44,264
Yeah.
Yeah, it happens.
2060
01:37:44,359 --> 01:37:47,192
You know,
I shop at Goodwill.
2061
01:37:47,278 --> 01:37:49,144
You know, Nordstrom
do take stuff back,
2062
01:37:49,238 --> 01:37:51,070
that's what's so
cool about Nordstrom.
2063
01:37:51,657 --> 01:37:55,400
Congratulations, Sash.
You know what, I really
hope it was worth it.
2064
01:37:57,121 --> 01:37:59,704
You know what? Hey! Hey!
2065
01:37:59,791 --> 01:38:01,247
The fucking thought
did cross my mind.
2066
01:38:01,334 --> 01:38:04,497
But I would never
play you out like that
for some money.
2067
01:38:04,587 --> 01:38:06,498
The problem is
you never valued
2068
01:38:06,589 --> 01:38:08,421
our friendship
as much as I did.
2069
01:38:08,508 --> 01:38:10,340
How could you say that?
2070
01:38:10,426 --> 01:38:12,212
You are like a sister to me!
I have always treated you...
2071
01:38:12,303 --> 01:38:15,341
This how you treat a sister?
I quit my job at The Times
2072
01:38:15,431 --> 01:38:18,344
to get our website
off the ground.
I hired a designer!
2073
01:38:18,434 --> 01:38:20,425
And what did you do?
What'd you do, sis?
2074
01:38:20,520 --> 01:38:22,136
You left me high and dry!
2075
01:38:22,230 --> 01:38:25,393
Because you thought
that you could get more
success with Stewart!
2076
01:38:25,483 --> 01:38:28,475
Why you think I'm doing
this bullshit
gossip blog anyway?
2077
01:38:28,569 --> 01:38:30,401
And not once
did you apologize!
2078
01:38:30,488 --> 01:38:32,775
If you would've told me no,
I wouldn't have done it!
2079
01:38:32,865 --> 01:38:34,230
You should've spoken up!
2080
01:38:34,325 --> 01:38:36,657
How the fuck do I
compete with pillow talk?
2081
01:38:37,495 --> 01:38:39,486
Dickmatized,
just like she said.
2082
01:38:39,580 --> 01:38:40,991
Well, you could
have said no, though.
2083
01:38:41,082 --> 01:38:42,413
Dina, nobody asked you!
2084
01:38:42,500 --> 01:38:44,366
Sasha, just listen
to Ryan for a second.
2085
01:38:44,502 --> 01:38:46,209
She's just
trying to explain!
Stop it! Stop it!
2086
01:38:46,295 --> 01:38:48,081
I should know
better than to expect
2087
01:38:48,172 --> 01:38:49,879
y'all two to
have my back anyway.
2088
01:38:50,800 --> 01:38:53,667
See, I know how it
works in this circle,
we got the Queen Bee,
2089
01:38:53,761 --> 01:38:55,502
and we got her two
little worker bees.
2090
01:38:55,596 --> 01:38:57,678
Worker bee?
Bitch, who you talking
about a worker bee?
2091
01:38:57,765 --> 01:38:58,755
I'm my own bee!
2092
01:38:58,850 --> 01:39:00,090
You take that shit back!
2093
01:39:00,184 --> 01:39:02,095
Take that shit back!
I'm not taking it back!
2094
01:39:02,186 --> 01:39:05,099
All right, stop!
Just everybody
take a time-out!
2095
01:39:05,189 --> 01:39:06,600
Pull it back! Time-out!
2096
01:39:06,691 --> 01:39:08,181
Why don't you
shut the fuck up,
2097
01:39:08,276 --> 01:39:10,142
and stop talking to us like
we one of your kids?
2098
01:39:10,236 --> 01:39:11,977
Wait a minute.
You better pause,
2099
01:39:12,071 --> 01:39:14,813
and stop acting
like one of my kids!
How about that?
2100
01:39:14,907 --> 01:39:16,739
Put some clothes on.
How could you do it?
2101
01:39:16,826 --> 01:39:18,658
Stop getting
trashed every night,
2102
01:39:18,744 --> 01:39:21,327
and fucking random
dick every week!
2103
01:39:21,414 --> 01:39:23,951
You just got some random dick,
and your ass got real loose!
2104
01:39:24,041 --> 01:39:26,078
And let me tell
you something, bitch!
2105
01:39:26,169 --> 01:39:28,001
Just because he
got a big dick,
2106
01:39:28,087 --> 01:39:31,079
don't make him a grown man
with your pedophile ass!
2107
01:39:31,174 --> 01:39:32,790
You know what? Have it!
2108
01:39:32,884 --> 01:39:34,795
I don't even know why
I'm here with yo' ass!
2109
01:39:34,886 --> 01:39:37,844
You need to change
that stank ass
attitude of yours,
2110
01:39:37,930 --> 01:39:39,921
or your ass gonna
end up with the clap!
2111
01:39:40,016 --> 01:39:41,973
Bitch, please!
Clap, been there,
done that, had that!
2112
01:39:42,059 --> 01:39:43,220
Excuse me!
2113
01:39:43,311 --> 01:39:44,426
And I'm immune
to the shit!
2114
01:39:44,520 --> 01:39:46,807
Bitch, I'll clap
your ass up out of here!
2115
01:39:46,898 --> 01:39:48,605
Fuck you, Lisa!
2116
01:39:48,691 --> 01:39:50,227
And fuck both
of y'all, too!
2117
01:39:50,318 --> 01:39:53,481
With your raggedy fake asses!
Both of y'all bitches is fake!
2118
01:39:53,571 --> 01:39:55,733
You don't even
know a real friend
when you see one!
2119
01:39:55,823 --> 01:39:57,689
You know what?
You know what? Here!
2120
01:39:57,783 --> 01:40:00,115
Give Lisa back her
raggedy-ass phone!
2121
01:40:01,913 --> 01:40:04,200
Wait, hold up,
hold up! Here!
2122
01:40:04,290 --> 01:40:05,451
Because I don't
need you calling
2123
01:40:05,541 --> 01:40:06,622
the police on me,
take your card!
2124
01:40:06,709 --> 01:40:10,623
And, yes, I maxed
that motherfucker out with
your low-ass balance!
2125
01:40:12,423 --> 01:40:16,166
Stupid-ass!
And I don't need you
talking shit or calling me.
2126
01:40:16,260 --> 01:40:18,217
Here! Take your
driver's license, so
you can get on the plane
2127
01:40:18,304 --> 01:40:22,798
with your nasty-ass,
dirty-ass,
nasty-ass husband
2128
01:40:22,892 --> 01:40:24,849
that fuck Instagram bitches!
2129
01:40:24,936 --> 01:40:26,893
You're gonna mess around
and get the clap, bitch!
2130
01:40:26,979 --> 01:40:29,186
I can't believe
you motherfuckers!
2131
01:40:29,273 --> 01:40:31,355
So, I'm gonna fuck me
a motherfucking celebrity!
2132
01:40:31,442 --> 01:40:33,729
Stupid-ass bitches,
I hate y'all!
2133
01:40:33,819 --> 01:40:35,526
And I love you,
but I hate you, bitch!
2134
01:40:42,620 --> 01:40:43,951
Are you happy, Sash?
2135
01:40:45,039 --> 01:40:46,029
Hmm?
2136
01:40:47,416 --> 01:40:50,408
You have ruined my life
2137
01:40:51,128 --> 01:40:53,540
and 20 years of friendship.
2138
01:40:55,633 --> 01:40:58,295
You know what?
Fuck all of y'all!
2139
01:41:01,389 --> 01:41:05,223
I know I've done a few
foul things in my life,
but I would never do that.
2140
01:41:05,309 --> 01:41:06,891
I did not do this.
2141
01:41:08,104 --> 01:41:09,970
My friends would know that.
2142
01:41:12,817 --> 01:41:14,808
Fucking real friends.
2143
01:41:18,030 --> 01:41:19,020
(SIGHS)
2144
01:41:30,585 --> 01:41:32,792
Bombshell, folks.
It looks like
America's favorite couple
2145
01:41:32,878 --> 01:41:35,791
has got a third party
wedging her way
into their house of love.
2146
01:41:37,008 --> 01:41:38,590
This recent
picture has emerged
2147
01:41:38,676 --> 01:41:40,258
of Ryan Pierce's husband,
Stewart,
2148
01:41:40,344 --> 01:41:42,927
getting cozy with
an Instagram model
2149
01:41:43,014 --> 01:41:45,631
by the name of Simone,
no last name given.
2150
01:41:46,183 --> 01:41:47,514
You know,
this is a tough situation
2151
01:41:47,602 --> 01:41:50,264
even for renowned
relationship expert Ryan.
2152
01:41:50,354 --> 01:41:53,187
If I will it,
I can have it all.
2153
01:41:53,691 --> 01:41:56,524
Let's hope for the best
for this stunning couple.
2154
01:42:05,369 --> 01:42:06,530
(SIGHS)
2155
01:42:19,050 --> 01:42:20,711
DINA: Can I get
a refill, please?
2156
01:42:39,904 --> 01:42:41,736
Hey.
Hey.
2157
01:42:43,741 --> 01:42:48,281
Look, I'm really sorry
for what I said.
2158
01:42:48,371 --> 01:42:50,658
I did not mean any of it.
2159
01:42:52,333 --> 01:42:54,700
I know y'all keep
me around for laughs,
2160
01:42:55,753 --> 01:42:57,744
but I love you heifers.
2161
01:42:58,089 --> 01:43:00,421
I would die for
every last one of you.
2162
01:43:01,801 --> 01:43:03,508
I know you would.
2163
01:43:04,345 --> 01:43:08,339
And you know what?
You are one of
the most loyal,
2164
01:43:08,432 --> 01:43:10,594
fiercest, most honest
friend we have.
2165
01:43:10,685 --> 01:43:12,596
We are so lucky to have you.
2166
01:43:13,437 --> 01:43:14,677
You're right.
2167
01:43:14,772 --> 01:43:16,388
Y'all very lucky.
2168
01:43:16,482 --> 01:43:18,598
Very, very lucky.
2169
01:43:20,444 --> 01:43:21,775
Very lucky.
2170
01:43:25,157 --> 01:43:27,615
I love you.
I love you, too.
2171
01:43:27,910 --> 01:43:29,025
Oh!
2172
01:43:41,298 --> 01:43:43,335
For years now,
I've been posting
2173
01:43:43,426 --> 01:43:45,383
unflattering photos
and headlines
2174
01:43:45,469 --> 01:43:48,587
about anyone who would
get more hits to my site.
2175
01:43:49,390 --> 01:43:53,224
I did this without
regard for their privacy,
2176
01:43:53,519 --> 01:43:57,478
their dignity,
or their humanity.
2177
01:43:58,065 --> 01:43:59,521
(CROWD CHEERING)
2178
01:44:00,818 --> 01:44:02,183
MAN: Ryan!
2179
01:44:02,278 --> 01:44:04,986
SASHA: But when someone
close to you gets hurt,
2180
01:44:05,072 --> 01:44:07,734
it forces you to realize
that these are
not just photos,
2181
01:44:07,825 --> 01:44:09,816
they're not just words.
2182
01:44:09,910 --> 01:44:14,700
They affect real people
with real feelings
that feel real pain,
2183
01:44:14,790 --> 01:44:16,497
just like everybody else.
2184
01:44:16,834 --> 01:44:18,620
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
2185
01:44:20,671 --> 01:44:24,835
And the fact that
those closest to me
would question my character
2186
01:44:25,509 --> 01:44:27,967
has led me to
the decision that
2187
01:44:28,053 --> 01:44:29,919
I no longer want to
be part of a process
2188
01:44:30,014 --> 01:44:31,846
that tears people
down for profit.
2189
01:44:31,932 --> 01:44:35,721
LIZ: The photo is
doctored. You refused
to give an interview,
2190
01:44:35,811 --> 01:44:38,269
they became vindictive...
2191
01:44:38,731 --> 01:44:43,692
SASHA: So from this moment on,Sasha's Secrets is no more.
(PHONES CHIMING)
2192
01:44:46,447 --> 01:44:50,941
I am strong,
I am powerful,
I'm beautiful...
2193
01:44:51,035 --> 01:44:52,150
SASHA: This will
be my final post.
2194
01:44:52,244 --> 01:44:54,986
I am strong, I'm powerful,
I'm beautiful...
(PHONE CHIMES)
2195
01:44:59,710 --> 01:45:01,917
SASHA: And to anyone out
there who I've hurt...
2196
01:45:03,088 --> 01:45:04,704
I truly am sorry.
2197
01:45:17,436 --> 01:45:18,892
So, you're just
gonna drop the mic
2198
01:45:18,979 --> 01:45:20,390
on the blog,
and bounce like that?
2199
01:45:21,565 --> 01:45:22,896
Thought it'd be
best that way.
2200
01:45:23,234 --> 01:45:24,975
Sasha, how could you
ever think that?
2201
01:45:25,069 --> 01:45:27,902
Look, I know it may
be hard to believe,
but I didn't do it.
2202
01:45:27,988 --> 01:45:29,774
Simone hired her
own photographer
2203
01:45:29,865 --> 01:45:31,606
to take them pictures
and sell them to TMZ.
2204
01:45:31,700 --> 01:45:34,658
And you don't think
we don't know that?
Come on.
2205
01:45:34,745 --> 01:45:36,327
But you wasn't
acting like it.
2206
01:45:38,833 --> 01:45:40,824
Look, I just want things
to be the way they were.
2207
01:45:40,918 --> 01:45:42,955
Shit! Bitch, we all do.
2208
01:45:43,254 --> 01:45:44,289
Yep.
2209
01:45:44,380 --> 01:45:45,996
Find me a time machine
where we can
2210
01:45:46,090 --> 01:45:47,672
go back to living
in a dorm together,
2211
01:45:47,758 --> 01:45:51,672
eating Top Ramen,
drinking Mad Dog 20/20,
and I am there.
2212
01:45:52,555 --> 01:45:55,798
But we're some
grown-ass women now,
and we got shit to do.
2213
01:45:56,183 --> 01:45:58,800
So, buckle up, bitch,
'cause we ain't
lettin' you go.
2214
01:45:58,894 --> 01:46:00,851
You comin' with us.
You ain't going nowhere.
2215
01:46:03,983 --> 01:46:05,018
Come on.
2216
01:46:11,490 --> 01:46:14,152
SASHA: Yo, Ryan's speech
is supposed to start
in 20 minutes.
2217
01:46:14,243 --> 01:46:16,200
We're not gonna make it.
2218
01:46:16,287 --> 01:46:19,370
Oh, yes, we are.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
2219
01:46:19,456 --> 01:46:20,992
Let's go. We're gonna
hoof this one.
2220
01:46:21,083 --> 01:46:22,665
Why?
Let's do this.
2221
01:46:22,751 --> 01:46:25,118
Dina, come on. Come on!
Come on!
2222
01:46:25,212 --> 01:46:27,795
I don't wanna be
running in this heat.
2223
01:46:27,882 --> 01:46:29,338
Dina, come on.
Come on.
2224
01:46:30,926 --> 01:46:32,007
Come on, we gotta make it.
2225
01:46:32,094 --> 01:46:33,084
Quit whining.
Come on.
2226
01:46:33,178 --> 01:46:36,637
DINA: This ain't
no Woman's March.
I don't wanna be walking.
2227
01:46:42,479 --> 01:46:45,972
ANNOUNCER: Ladies andgentlemen, Hall of Famecandidate, Stewart Pierce.
2228
01:46:46,191 --> 01:46:47,647
(CROWD CHEERING)
2229
01:46:48,652 --> 01:46:49,733
STEWART: Thank you!
2230
01:46:49,820 --> 01:46:53,154
Thank you! Hello, Essence!
2231
01:46:54,783 --> 01:46:55,864
All right.
2232
01:46:59,538 --> 01:47:02,621
How much further?
Shit! My bunion
is killing me.
2233
01:47:02,708 --> 01:47:03,914
We old as fuck!
2234
01:47:04,001 --> 01:47:05,958
Oh, I ain't old.
I'm just tired as hell.
2235
01:47:06,045 --> 01:47:07,251
Oh, look, man bun!
2236
01:47:07,338 --> 01:47:08,499
Wait! Hey, wait!
Man bun!
2237
01:47:09,048 --> 01:47:11,790
It is my honor and privilege
2238
01:47:11,884 --> 01:47:15,127
to introduce this year's
Essence keynote speaker.
2239
01:47:15,554 --> 01:47:17,670
Please welcome my rock.
2240
01:47:17,765 --> 01:47:18,800
You got this, Ryan.
2241
01:47:18,891 --> 01:47:21,178
The woman I am proud
to call my wife,
2242
01:47:21,560 --> 01:47:22,971
Ryan Pierce.
2243
01:47:23,187 --> 01:47:24,803
(CROWD CHEERING)
2244
01:47:35,449 --> 01:47:37,565
Hey, baby.
Knock 'em dead.
2245
01:47:40,871 --> 01:47:42,987
Oh, wow. (CHUCKLES)
2246
01:47:43,832 --> 01:47:45,448
Thank you. Thank you.
2247
01:47:45,542 --> 01:47:48,330
LISA: You make a right,
right here. No,
actually, make a left.
2248
01:47:48,420 --> 01:47:50,787
Oh, my goodness. Please
watch out for that car.
2249
01:47:50,881 --> 01:47:52,872
Jesus! That bump!
2250
01:47:52,967 --> 01:47:55,800
Sir, faster, faster, faster!
We need to get there.
2251
01:47:55,886 --> 01:47:58,173
Ooh. Yes, yes!
2252
01:47:58,263 --> 01:48:01,221
Oh, slow down, baby.
Slow down, baby.
2253
01:48:01,767 --> 01:48:04,509
Oh, you know what!
Come on, girl!
2254
01:48:05,896 --> 01:48:08,604
DINA: Yeah!
You must be a butcher.
You got them meats.
2255
01:48:09,817 --> 01:48:11,899
Thank you, boo.
Thank you.
2256
01:48:11,986 --> 01:48:13,147
Now, you call me, okay?
You call me.
2257
01:48:13,237 --> 01:48:14,318
Let's go.
2258
01:48:14,405 --> 01:48:16,692
I might be pregnant right now.
Okay, let's get running.
2259
01:48:19,827 --> 01:48:21,067
As most of you know,
2260
01:48:21,161 --> 01:48:24,574
there have been many
questions about the
status of my marriage.
2261
01:48:25,249 --> 01:48:27,957
And I would like to
put those rumors to rest.
2262
01:48:29,128 --> 01:48:32,291
The picture that
surfaced this morning
isn't real.
2263
01:48:32,548 --> 01:48:36,086
All allegations of
infidelity are false.
2264
01:48:36,885 --> 01:48:41,721
My husband and I remain
in a loving,
faithful marriage.
2265
01:48:41,807 --> 01:48:43,639
In fact...
2266
01:48:44,268 --> 01:48:46,134
Yes! Thank you!
2267
01:48:49,898 --> 01:48:51,434
DINA: Step back, fool!
2268
01:48:52,860 --> 01:48:54,771
SASHA: Dina,
I don't know what...
2269
01:48:57,239 --> 01:48:58,274
LISA: Oh, God.
2270
01:49:00,617 --> 01:49:01,607
Um...
2271
01:49:01,952 --> 01:49:03,534
Go ahead, Ryan.
2272
01:49:03,620 --> 01:49:05,327
Don't mind us.
2273
01:49:06,790 --> 01:49:08,952
Um, in fact,
2274
01:49:10,044 --> 01:49:12,035
our marriage
2275
01:49:13,338 --> 01:49:14,954
is stronger than ever.
2276
01:49:15,883 --> 01:49:17,123
Come on, Ry.
2277
01:49:17,426 --> 01:49:19,042
(APPLAUSE)
2278
01:49:20,804 --> 01:49:22,886
(STUTTERS) The foundation...
2279
01:49:24,808 --> 01:49:26,298
The foundation of...
2280
01:49:33,817 --> 01:49:35,307
I'm sorry. Um...
2281
01:49:38,489 --> 01:49:42,107
My agent wrote a very
convincing statement
for me to read to you.
2282
01:49:42,201 --> 01:49:43,737
No! No! No!
2283
01:49:43,827 --> 01:49:47,411
And I really thought
that I could go
through with it.
2284
01:49:47,873 --> 01:49:50,581
Because I have done such
2285
01:49:50,667 --> 01:49:54,160
a great job of pretending
so many times before.
2286
01:49:55,422 --> 01:49:56,958
But
2287
01:49:57,716 --> 01:49:59,582
there are some people,
2288
01:50:00,677 --> 01:50:02,418
when you see them,
2289
01:50:03,055 --> 01:50:05,513
you just can't
pretend anymore.
2290
01:50:06,391 --> 01:50:09,509
Because they know you.
2291
01:50:12,106 --> 01:50:13,187
The real you.
2292
01:50:14,274 --> 01:50:17,858
And maybe that's why
you avoided seeing them
2293
01:50:17,945 --> 01:50:19,231
for so long.
2294
01:50:21,698 --> 01:50:23,063
I'm sorry.
2295
01:50:27,579 --> 01:50:28,569
Uh...
2296
01:50:31,166 --> 01:50:32,748
I'm not perfect.
2297
01:50:33,377 --> 01:50:35,243
I do not have it all.
2298
01:50:37,339 --> 01:50:40,548
In fact, my life is
all kinds of screwed up.
2299
01:50:42,302 --> 01:50:45,169
All right, maybe
we should take...
Sit your ass down!
2300
01:50:45,305 --> 01:50:46,295
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
2301
01:50:49,226 --> 01:50:50,387
Now!
2302
01:50:51,520 --> 01:50:53,306
Yes! That part!
2303
01:50:53,397 --> 01:50:54,387
Finally!
2304
01:50:54,481 --> 01:50:55,471
LISA: Yeah, finally!
2305
01:51:01,280 --> 01:51:02,736
The picture is real.
2306
01:51:04,700 --> 01:51:06,862
My husband is
having an affair.
2307
01:51:10,080 --> 01:51:12,321
When I first found out, I...
2308
01:51:13,500 --> 01:51:15,411
Well, I felt a lot of things.
2309
01:51:16,879 --> 01:51:19,871
Betrayal, anger, heartache.
2310
01:51:20,382 --> 01:51:22,214
But mostly, fear.
2311
01:51:23,427 --> 01:51:26,590
Fear that my
marriage was ending,
and that I would be alone.
2312
01:51:28,140 --> 01:51:30,882
And I was terrified of that.
2313
01:51:32,603 --> 01:51:34,810
So terrified that
2314
01:51:35,814 --> 01:51:39,557
I was willing to stay
with someone who
betrayed my trust.
2315
01:51:40,360 --> 01:51:42,772
So terrified that
2316
01:51:43,780 --> 01:51:48,695
I was willing to
accept being treated
as less than I am.
2317
01:51:49,119 --> 01:51:51,030
And I know I'm
not alone in this.
2318
01:51:51,121 --> 01:51:54,534
I know that there are
a lot of us who stay
in bad relationships
2319
01:51:54,625 --> 01:51:55,990
because we have
convinced ourselves
2320
01:51:56,084 --> 01:51:59,497
that being
disrespected is better
than being alone.
2321
01:51:59,588 --> 01:52:02,376
But we shouldn't
fear being alone.
2322
01:52:02,466 --> 01:52:07,131
Because there is power
in rediscovering
your own voice.
2323
01:52:07,221 --> 01:52:10,213
And I had forgotten that.
2324
01:52:10,307 --> 01:52:14,221
I forgot that years before
I was Stewart's wife,
2325
01:52:14,311 --> 01:52:15,801
I was Ryan.
2326
01:52:17,648 --> 01:52:21,812
A girl with her own ambitions
and her own dreams.
2327
01:52:24,196 --> 01:52:25,607
But luckily,
2328
01:52:28,242 --> 01:52:29,323
my girls...
2329
01:52:30,619 --> 01:52:32,235
My girls
2330
01:52:32,329 --> 01:52:34,570
reminded me of that.
2331
01:52:34,665 --> 01:52:36,326
Flossy Posse.
2332
01:52:36,625 --> 01:52:40,619
They reminded me
of my own worth.
2333
01:52:40,712 --> 01:52:42,248
Damn right.
DINA: Yep.
2334
01:52:42,339 --> 01:52:46,674
And that there was a time
that I didn't fear anything.
2335
01:52:50,013 --> 01:52:53,426
No one has the power
to shatter your dreams
2336
01:52:53,517 --> 01:52:55,679
unless you give it to them.
2337
01:52:58,397 --> 01:53:01,515
And I refuse to give
anyone that power again.
2338
01:53:05,028 --> 01:53:06,393
If anything,
2339
01:53:07,447 --> 01:53:11,782
I hope that me
revealing my truth
2340
01:53:12,619 --> 01:53:15,407
inspires you to
realize your own.
2341
01:53:19,626 --> 01:53:22,084
Thank you for listening.
2342
01:53:22,170 --> 01:53:23,581
We love you, Ry!
2343
01:53:23,672 --> 01:53:25,413
SASHA: We love you, Ryan!
2344
01:53:25,507 --> 01:53:27,544
(AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING)
2345
01:53:38,312 --> 01:53:41,430
Flossy Posse!
2346
01:53:49,906 --> 01:53:51,567
WOMAN: We love you, girl!
2347
01:53:53,076 --> 01:53:54,066
(EXHALES) Okay.
2348
01:53:55,370 --> 01:53:56,826
(SOBS AND CLEARS THROAT)
2349
01:54:15,474 --> 01:54:16,930
I'm so sorry.
2350
01:54:17,517 --> 01:54:21,886
I didn't mean any of
what I said earlier.
I was just so...
2351
01:54:21,980 --> 01:54:23,596
It's okay.
2352
01:54:23,690 --> 01:54:27,058
It's okay.
You were so wonderful
up there, so brave.
2353
01:54:27,402 --> 01:54:28,767
That was amazing.
2354
01:54:30,322 --> 01:54:32,108
We love you.
None of that matters.
2355
01:54:33,116 --> 01:54:34,857
I love you too, Lis.
2356
01:54:35,577 --> 01:54:37,284
You my bitch for life!
(LAUGHS)
2357
01:54:39,122 --> 01:54:40,112
(CHUCKLES)
2358
01:54:40,290 --> 01:54:41,576
I'm proud of you, boo.
2359
01:54:45,253 --> 01:54:46,459
Ryan...
2360
01:54:47,714 --> 01:54:49,921
I would never hurt you.
2361
01:54:50,300 --> 01:54:52,792
You have to believe me.
I know.
2362
01:54:54,388 --> 01:54:56,049
I know.
2363
01:54:56,139 --> 01:54:57,220
Hug it out!
2364
01:54:58,475 --> 01:55:00,341
LISA: Hug it out!
DINA: Yeah!
2365
01:55:00,435 --> 01:55:02,051
LISA: Flossy Posse!
Flossy Posse!
2366
01:55:02,145 --> 01:55:03,727
You were so good up there.
2367
01:55:04,106 --> 01:55:06,894
And look what
I brought you
2368
01:55:07,109 --> 01:55:08,315
Oh! (LAUGHS)
2369
01:55:08,860 --> 01:55:11,022
Yes. Come on, come on.
2370
01:55:11,154 --> 01:55:12,315
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
2371
01:55:13,407 --> 01:55:14,738
LISA: Look at that.
2372
01:55:15,158 --> 01:55:16,273
Flossy Posse...
2373
01:55:16,368 --> 01:55:17,654
Back in the house!
2374
01:55:17,744 --> 01:55:20,111
ALL: Flossy Posse,
back in the house!
2375
01:55:20,205 --> 01:55:22,617
Flossy Posse,
back in the house!
2376
01:55:22,707 --> 01:55:25,119
Flossy Posse,
back in the house!
2377
01:55:36,304 --> 01:55:38,045
Liz...
Wait.
2378
01:55:40,016 --> 01:55:41,927
There's something
I need to tell you.
2379
01:55:43,103 --> 01:55:45,014
It's Bethany, she...
(EXHALES)
2380
01:55:47,482 --> 01:55:49,189
Oh, God, not this shit again.
2381
01:55:49,526 --> 01:55:50,607
Speak, woman.
2382
01:55:51,611 --> 01:55:53,227
She still wants
to do the deal!
2383
01:55:53,321 --> 01:55:54,277
Yes!
2384
01:55:54,364 --> 01:55:55,399
What?
2385
01:55:55,490 --> 01:55:57,572
But with just you.
2386
01:55:59,244 --> 01:56:01,451
LISA: Yes!
Even better.
Even better!
2387
01:56:01,538 --> 01:56:05,122
It turns out,
single women are an even
bigger market. Hello?
2388
01:56:05,208 --> 01:56:06,824
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
2389
01:56:10,213 --> 01:56:11,544
I'll do it.
2390
01:56:12,299 --> 01:56:14,631
I just have one condition.
2391
01:56:15,051 --> 01:56:16,917
Hmm. Huh? What?
2392
01:56:20,223 --> 01:56:22,214
Sasha, I want you
to be my partner.
(GASPS)
2393
01:56:24,269 --> 01:56:25,430
Are you serious?
2394
01:56:25,520 --> 01:56:26,555
I'm so serious.
2395
01:56:26,980 --> 01:56:28,061
SASHA: Don't play with me.
2396
01:56:28,815 --> 01:56:30,305
I'm serious as
a heart attack.
2397
01:56:30,400 --> 01:56:32,516
Yes, I'll be your partner!
2398
01:56:32,777 --> 01:56:33,983
Yes!
2399
01:56:34,070 --> 01:56:35,435
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
2400
01:56:35,739 --> 01:56:36,729
RYAN: Yes!
2401
01:56:37,741 --> 01:56:38,731
Bring it in!
2402
01:56:41,244 --> 01:56:43,576
We gonna be rich!
We gonna be rich!
2403
01:56:43,955 --> 01:56:44,990
Let's go!
2404
01:56:46,458 --> 01:56:47,493
MARIAH: Come on, ladies.
2405
01:56:50,128 --> 01:56:51,118
(SINGING)
2406
01:57:06,019 --> 01:57:08,351
RYAN: Every group of friends
has that one experience
2407
01:57:08,438 --> 01:57:12,727
that no matter where
you are, you carry it
with you for life.
2408
01:57:12,817 --> 01:57:15,024
We're a little older,
a little wiser,
2409
01:57:16,488 --> 01:57:19,025
and we're still the baddest
chicks in the game.
2410
01:57:19,115 --> 01:57:20,276
(BEAT-BOXING)
2411
01:57:20,742 --> 01:57:22,699
RYAN: I don't know what
the future will bring.
2412
01:57:22,786 --> 01:57:24,402
Is hip-hop in
the building or what?
2413
01:57:24,955 --> 01:57:28,448
RYAN: Love or heartbreak,
joy or pain,
2414
01:57:28,875 --> 01:57:31,287
but right now, it's bright.
2415
01:57:31,378 --> 01:57:35,463
And the one thing
I know for sure is
my girls will be there.
2416
01:57:36,007 --> 01:57:38,339
No matter who else
steps in the picture,
2417
01:57:38,969 --> 01:57:40,926
my girls are my constant.
2418
01:57:41,263 --> 01:57:44,051
They give me
the permission to be who I am.
2419
01:57:44,140 --> 01:57:46,097
And I am going to be me.
2420
01:57:46,643 --> 01:57:48,179
We're going to be us.
2421
01:57:49,020 --> 01:57:51,136
Loving, laughing,
2422
01:57:52,399 --> 01:57:54,390
worthy,
2423
01:57:54,484 --> 01:57:56,020
magical
2424
01:57:56,653 --> 01:57:57,814
us.
2425
01:58:00,240 --> 01:58:03,403
The Flossy Posse is back!
2426
01:58:08,081 --> 01:58:11,415
DINA: You took a picture
of it? Girl, let us see it.
2427
01:58:14,796 --> 01:58:17,788
That is a
beautiful penis.
2428
01:58:18,675 --> 01:58:20,882
I smashed
all over that thing.
2429
01:58:21,011 --> 01:58:23,002
(LAUGHS)
2430
01:58:23,513 --> 01:58:26,096
I just wanna make
that my wallpaper.
2431
01:58:26,182 --> 01:58:28,173
And not on my phone.
(LAUGHS)
2432
01:58:29,644 --> 01:58:31,885
I wanna be a fly
on that wallpaper.
2433
01:58:31,980 --> 01:58:33,516
(ALL LAUGHING)
178527
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