Original subtitles

My name is Ronald. I'm 29 years old.

[producer] Why are you here today?

To learn about jury duty, see what this whole thing's about,

the process, everything in general.

Would you please introduce yourself to the jury.

He destroyed my career, my business, and my mental health.

- [lawyer] Is that accurate? - What are you doing?

This trial will be my last trial.

There's a substance called bromine.

- Objection. - [Judge Rosen] Sustained.

Could you just please talk to him? He knows what happened.

I will arrest every last one of y'all.

It has sativa in it and Dexedrine.

Hey, hey.

I mean, maybe this is common. I don't know.

But I feel like this can't be that common 'cause just crazy stuff keeps happening.

[theme music playing]

[beeping]

When they say "jury of your peers," I think that's accurate.

From the people that I've seen in the waiting room,

you have everybody from all classes of people, age groups, everything,

races, ethnicities, you name it.

Everybody's in that waiting room, I feel like.

You want a Twix?

- No, I'm fine. Thanks. - No?

Did you just go to the vending machine?

No, I went in the, um, the little gift shop,

and there was nobody there, so I just took them.

Nice.

So I am, like, an anarchist of sorts. Like, I don't believe in rules.

I don't like institutionalized systems of government.

It's just not my thing.

But then on the other hand, I'm also kind of a fun girl.

I like your glasses.

- Oh, thank you. - You look like Christopher Robin.

Uh, my name's Noah. I just moved here to LA.

I'm from a... I'm from a kinda small town. Um...

Everyone in my hometown said that people in LA were mean,

but people are nice.

People are...

kinda really nice.

You just looked cute over here. I'm sorry. [giggles]

- [Noah] What? - You, like, reminded me of someone,

but then I was like, oh, I actually, like, wanted to, like,

ask you if you wanted, like, a Chewy Bar or, like, a Big Hunk.

Oh, uh, no, ma'am, no.

Um, I'm all right, but thank you. That's...

That's really big.

[giggles] I thought you would like it.

I just stood up to get some water at the water fountain,

and somebody just took my seat.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh, yeah.

I wear a Water Buffalo canteen backpack.

Um, it sort of is like having

a small water fountain with me all the time.

[slurps]

Although the ultimate objective would be

that one wouldn't need to wear an apparatus at all,

that it would be, um, just an auxiliary reservoir

that would be either grafted onto or inside of the body.

- Yes. - For hydration.

[slurping]

Excuse me. I'm gonna get some water.

- Oh, yeah. - Again.

[James Marsden] Good morning.

Yeah, just go right to the window. He'll give you paperwork to fill out.

Okay. All right.

I'm sorry to bother you, but can I take a picture with you, please?

What's that?

Can I take a picture with you, please?

- Just one, just one. - Yeah, yeah, sure.

Okay. Um...

Oh, no, you don't have to...

- Sorry, would you mind taking a picture? - We could do a selfie.

I wanna get the whole... Thank you.

Do you mind? [laughs]

- Sorry about that. - Okay, here you go.

[chuckles] All right.

Can I kiss you on the cheek? If not, I can pretend.

- Uh, how about just a... - I'll do it from here.

How about just a little...

- How about just an air kiss? - Okay.

[laughs] All right, we're gonna get in trouble.

- Let me see. - Yeah, check 'em for sure.

Thank you so much.

- Very nice to meet you. Yeah. - Yes, you too. I love you so much.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Oh, shit, dude, that's where I know you from.

You're in X-Men.

Oh. [laughs]

I've been thinking that this entire time.

I didn't ask your name. Forgive me.

- Ronald. - Ronald?

- Yeah. - James.

- It's a pleasure. - Nice to meet you.

Yeah, I was trying to pinpoint it. I was like, "I've seen you somewhere."

Yeah, but I've been in, like, so much stuff.

It's, like, X-Menand Hairspray and Enchanted

and Westworld and stuff like that, but...

Notebook.

- Oh, shit, you're in Westworld? - [chuckles] Yeah, I am.

[producer] I know him from The Notebook.

He's in The Notebook?

Nuh-uh. What is he in The Notebook?

- The other guy. - He's the other guy?

The guy she really should have got together with.

Oh, my God. I haven't seen that movie in so long.

I didn't even... I didn't realize.

Now, look at his socks over here.

It looked like it said "sonic," and I'm in that movie Sonic.

I'd like to see if Sonic--

Oh, shit, you're in the movie Sonic?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Really? That's the one with...

The new one with Jim Carrey, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I heard that was not a good movie.

- [inhales sharply] - Is it funny?

Or is it supposed to be action?

It's, like, action and funny, like, you know, a road trip buddy movie.

It was, like, he and I, and then Jim Carrey plays the--

Are you, like, a main role in it?

- Yeah. - Oh!

Apparently, he's in the new Sonicmovie too. [chuckles]

- Yeah, he was talking about that a lot. - [laughs]

I'm hoping I get released.

I got a big director meeting at 5:00 I just gotta make.

I haven't got the role yet, but it's a big, big meeting.

There you go.

I mean, how long does this normally take?

- Have you done this before? - I was gonna ask you.

[Ronald chuckles]

What do people usually say when they're trying to, like, get out of this?

Like, what's, like, the move? Like...

I'm only going off a thing that I've seen on Family Guy,

and that's probably not the best thing to use.

Wait, what was it?

Peter pretends to be racist to get out of jury duty. [chuckles]

That's pretty smart.

- To the right, sir. - [James] Right.

Thank you. To the right.

[clears throat]

Nice.

If we could make this as quiet as possible

and quickly as possible, that would be wonderful.

All rise.

Trial court of the State of California 28th District is now in session.

The Honorable Judge Alan Rosen is presiding.

Sit down, folks.

Respectfully, uh, gentlemen, if you would take off your hats.

Gentleman in the last row, if you could remove your hat,

I'd appreciate it. Thank you.

I've been sitting in this courtroom for 38 years.

And sadly, this trial will be my last trial.

So for want of better words, this is my swan song.

And I think with that,

is there any of you, for any reason, who are unable to sit

for what might be a week or so for this trial?

You, sir, in the front row.

I have a surgery scheduled at the end of the week.

Something...

from inside my body has gotta come out.

Stop. You're okay. Thank you. You may be excused.

I have to pick up kids.

Are you the primary caretaker?

Of picking them up and watching them, yes.

All right, well, then you're excused. Thank you.

Yeah, madam in the second row.

It's just not my thing--

this jury duty stuff.

Madam, I sincerely appreciate you even coming down today.

And if you're not 100% committed, we're gonna excuse you too.

Thank you.

"It's not my thing."

I think this is a good time to break. We'll take an hour recess.

[James sighs]

There's a food truck, so hopefully that'll help you out.

[James sighs]

Ladies and gentlemen, if you leave the property without telling us,

that's a contempt of court.

You don't wanna do that to yourself, okay?

- Oh, shit. - [Nikki] Thank you.

- Won't be doing that, I guess. - Yeah, watch it.

[indistinct chatter]

[James] Just gotta get the judge to recognize me, you know?

[Ronald] Mm-hmm.

[James] If I do, I feel like when he says, you know, "Oh, that's James Marsden,"

he'll let me off.

I mean, they always do.

Oh, for sure. I mean, the judge seems to be letting everybody go.

Right.

Exactly. Right.

- Can I sit here? - Oh, uh, yeah, sure.

Thank you. [giggles]

Um, do you, uh...

You want half my sandwich?

- Really? - Yeah.

Yeah.

I would love that. [giggles]

[James] Oh, shit, there's the judge.

- Is that him? - I think it is.

I wanna ask him if I can...

Your Honor, I have this meeting with a director.

- It's just a work thing. - I'm sorry, I can't talk to jurors.

- Wait, did that just work? - [James] No.

Oh. [laughs]

In addition to the 3.6-liter liquid reservoir,

I've also added a reservoir for solids

which can support up to 28 ounces of solid food,

provided that it's emulsified into a fine paste first.

[slurping]

[James] Yeah, I've been called for jury duty four times.

Every time, I get dismissed.

But, uh, this judge just isn't getting it yet.

I gotta create a little scene, maybe.

If he comes back around, I might just announce I'm buying everybody lunch.

[Ronald chuckles]

And if you guys can kinda, like, be like, "Oh, yeah."

Like, give a cheer or something.

I don't know if it's gonna work, but, I mean, give it a shot.

God, I can't believe this.

[James] Well, yeah. No, no, no, hey, if I can get off...

- Here he comes, here he comes. - [man] Did Chrissy get a vegan taco?

In my own backyard, this is what they do.

Okay, everyone, I'd love to take photos with everyone,

I just don't have the time today.

But in lieu of selfies, I'm buying lunch. Lunch is on me.

- Ooh, James, baby! - Whoo!

You're welcome. My pleasure. My pleasure.

Judge, you want something? Lunch is on me, Your Honor.

Your Honor?

Ally McBealseason five?

Glenn Foy, the new associate?

What would he have known from my work? God.

That didn't work. I'm gonna have to do--

[food truck worker] Hey, do you wanna give me a credit card?

Uh... sure. Yeah.

What if I already paid? Can I get reimbursed?

I have a receipt.

Whoo-ooh.

- What up? What up? What up? - How's it going, man?

- Ah, damn it, James, dude. - Oh, man.

- I owe you an apology, man. - Why? What for?

I humble myself before you.

I watched Soniclast night, dude.

- You did last night? - It was fire, bro.

Hey, 54, I don't mind you talking, but just, you know.

Thank you while we get everybody checked in.

- [James] Sorry. You got it. You got it. - Appreciate that.

I thought it was hilarious.

You didn't tell me that Ben Schwartz was the voice of Sonic.

Oh, yeah. [stammers]

I kind of forget about him sometimes.

I thought he was hilarious.

[Ronald] I have to apologize to the guy, man.

That's exactly what I have to do. I told him I heard it was a shit movie.

So... [laughs]

- Thank God, yesterday, we got out. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I know we're back, but, like, I have a meeting with this guy.

Try and think about, like, the big-time director

that maybe has been somewhat problematic

and hasn't been Me-Tooed yet.

Is his first name Quentin?

Look, I can't say if you did guess, but...

All right, all right.

But if he calls and says, "You got the part,"

I can't say, "I can't do it, I'm on jury duty."

Exactly.

We recessed a little early yesterday.

And, uh, I went to my car to get my lunch,

and apparently someone had broken into my car.

I cut my hand getting things out, so forgive me if I'm not in the best mood.

Nikki, would you please put six in the box?

This is called voir dire.

And the English translation of the French voir dire is "to speak the truth."

You are a member of, um, RBI?

Yes, ma'am.

What's RBI?

Reddit Bureau of Investigations.

I mean, yeah, I'm into true-crime documentaries,

podcasts, all that stuff, you know.

So when I got the summons, I was like, "Hell yeah, finally."

But, nah, this case is dumb.

It looks like you have a lot of kids.

- Like, a lot of kids. - [Ross] I do. I do. Um...

I can't be away from my kids for a long period of time.

[Judge Rosen] How many kids you got, sir?

I have 36 kids.

What are you, a foster parent?

I'm a teacher, so a lot of those kids, I feel like they're my own kids.

These are your students?

Yes, they're my students, but when they're--

Sir, this isn't relevant. Sit down.

I have a back injury. A year ago, there was a car accident that I came upon.

I pulled a three-year-old girl out of the car and it rolled.

The paramedics had to cut me out of the car,

and the jaws of life kind of pinched me in the back.

C4-C5 was ruptured and I just can't sit for long periods of time.

I'm sorry. Where were you just pointing?

C4-C5, down here. There's... They're, uh, compacted, I think.

Okay, well, there's one problem. Your C4-C5 is up by your neck.

How about it's just not for me?

You sit down, sir.

I, actually, I have this trip with, um, with my girlfriend.

It's our... It's our six-month anniversary.

[Debra] A trip?

Yeah. This is the first time that we've been completely unsupervised.

Our parents aren't there, so you could kind of see

how that would be, like, a big--

Sir, a vacation is not an excuse. I've heard--

It's just that our parents aren't gonna be around,

so we're really free to do anything that...

- anything we haven't done yet. - [Debra] Right.

[Noah] You can imagine what--

Excuse me. I've heard it all.

And going away with your girlfriend, that's not gonna suffice.

I'm terribly sorry.

Are there any other reasons, aside from this trip,

that you feel that you would not be able to be a good juror for this matter?

[Noah] Um...

I, um...

I-I...

- Sir. - I'm-I'm--

I also am, uh, racist.

Sir, please have a seat.

I'm sorry. You're a racist?

[Noah] I, uh...

No, I'm sorry. I-I'm not. I'm not racist. I, um...

I was told that that would work.

Who told you that?

Um...

All right, never mind.

If I put you under oath, you would attest that you are not a racist?

- Is that correct? - No, I'm not. I'm not.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - [Judge Rosen] Okay.

Counsel.

I think I'm gonna let this group go, Your Honor.

- [Judge Rosen] Yeah. - Please.

Yes.

Dude, I can't believe he said that. That was crazy.

- He told him to do it. - I did not tell him to do it.

- [laughs] - I never told him to do it.

That was pretty clumsy.

It's been an interesting day.

Did you buy or rent Sonic?

I saw it on Hulu.

That's a bummer.

If you would've bought it, I would've got a dollar.

It says here that you're a member of the USTHO.

Um, United States Transhumanist Organization.

Trans what?

Transhumanist Organization.

It's, like, a political advocacy group.

What are you guys advocating for?

Advocating for changing attitudes around, um...

the incorporation of, like, cybernetics into, um, everyday life.

Lightsaber-netics?

Like, cybernetics.

Like, cybernetics. Thank you.

Juror number 54.

Juror number 81.

Have you ever served on a jury before?

Uh, yes, ma'am.

Was that here in Los Angeles?

No.

[Debra] Where was it?

Cannes.

In France?

Yeah, it's the film festival.

[Debra] I mean, a civil or a criminal jury.

[James] Oh, no, no. Sorry. No.

[Debra] Okay.

- Thank you very much. - You got it.

[Debra] Appreciate you.

Does anyone here have any reason why they don't feel

like they would be a good juror for this case?

Uh...

Yes, um, I feel like there's a chance

that I might be an unwelcome, uh, distraction.

Why is that, sir?

I'm a recognizable public figure.

Respectfully, I don't recognize you. I'm sorry, who are you?

That's, uh... That's okay. A lot of people do.

My most recent movie is this movie Sonic the Hedgehog.

And we were just...

This gentleman and I were just chatting about it earlier and yesterday,

and he's a big fan and we--

You were talking to this gentleman?

Stand up.

- Do you know who this fella is? - I do, yeah.

It took me a little bit to notice him yesterday,

but I recognize him, yes.

What has he done?

He's done X-Men, Sonic. He's in Hairspray, 27 Dresses.

- Enchanted. - Uh, Death at a Funeral.

- Um... - [James] Westworld.

Have you seen all those films?

- No. - [Judge Rosen] Okay.

Do you think that him sitting would be a distraction?

Not for me, no.

With all due respect, I don't think you'd be a distraction either.

So why don't you both sit down.

[James sighs]

[Judge Rosen] We're gonna break for 90 minutes.

We will announce jury selection when you return, so enjoy your lunch.

Come back to courtroom three at 2:35.

- [Ronald] Oh, boy. - Yes, you ought to.

Dude, bro.

Don't lead with X-Men. You never do that.

People think of X-Men, they think of Jackman. They don't think...

Whatever. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

I think I got a little something anyway, so...

This ain't over.

Hey, Shannon. Hey, it's Marsden.

Uh, I need you to do something for me.

Well, the dog shit can wait. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Listen, I need you to call someone for me.

[car alarm beeping]

All right, folks, counsel has met with me during your lunch hour.

How are you guys coming along?

[Debra] We're right there. You got it.

[Judge Rosen] Then this is the list?

- I got it. - [Shaun] This is it.

- [Judge Rosen] Okay. - [Debra] Okay.

Okay, folks, as I call your number,

please stand and take a seat in the jury box.

Number 24.

Number 43.

Number 56.

[Nikki] Please stand, 56.

Oh, no way!

I was shocked with number 56, the gentleman who claimed to be racist.

Oh, Noah.

[Judge Rosen] Number 50.

[giggles] Like, he's just, like, really, like, innocent,

and I feel like I want to, like, corrupt him.

[both laugh]

[Judge Rosen] Number 73.

Number 54.

[James exhales deeply]

Damn, bro, I can't believe they picked you! That's crazy.

Yeah, man.

[Judge Rosen] Number 17.

Number 14.

Number 11.

[sighs]

[Judge Rosen] Number 41.

And number 37.

That will be the people who are selected as our 12 jurors.

We also name two alternates.

They will sit throughout the trial.

Uh, number 47.

Sir, um, why don't you take the seat next to that gentleman.

Oof.

[Judge Rosen] And, uh...

Number 81.

****

Number 81?

[sighs]

[grunts]

Oof.

And with that, Nikki, if you would swear the jurors and the alternates in place.

[Nikki] If you all can please stand and raise your right hand, please.

You can put your belongings on the floor however you need to.

Do you understand and agree that you will well and truly try the case

now pending before this court and a true verdict render

according only to the evidence presented to you

and to the instructions of the court?

- [juror] I do. - [jurors] Yes.

[Nikki] You are now the jury in the matter of Hilgrove versus Morris.

Please take your seats.

[Judge Rosen] Be seated, please.

Okay, typically what happens in...

- [banging] - What the hell is going on?

[man] Marsden!

Mr. Marsden!

- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. - [man] Excuse me!

James! James!

Yo, how y'all let them...

How y'all let them get through the security?

Counsel.

[Nikki] That can't happen again, guys.

[Ronald] I saw the paparazzi at, like, the same time they showed up.

I just happened to be looking over in that area,

and I saw the bang came from the camera being pressed up

really quickly against the glass.

So I saw it. So it definitely did make me jump.

- Nikki, what's going on? - I'm coming.

Bullshit, yo.

[Judge Rosen] What's going on?

Possibly some coming from outside of the house.

I don't know how they got through the other side doors.

[Judge Rosen] How the hell did the paparazzi get in?

If this hasn't been enough distraction, I don't know what is.

Mr. Marsden, could you stand up, please?

Sure. [clears throat]

These paparazzi, are they here for you?

I believe so.

This is my lot in life, sir. They follow me.

You can't control them. They show up.

And I've gotten used to it, to be honest.

Do you think there's a possibility that these folks will interfere

with the jurors in trying to get gossip on you?

Yeah, potentially. I mean...

Like I said, I can't control them.

This is a problem.

I couldn't agree with you more.

Listen, I understand why you gotta let me go.

I wish I could stay and serve. I'll just be on my way.

Don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere. Sit down.

[James sighs]

[Judge Rosen] I wanna make one thing clear.

I will not let this case

result in a mistrial.

I will be damned if my 38-year career ends in a mockery.

Alternate Juror 81, you are not dismissed from jury duty.

We are going to sequester the jury.

You'll be back here tomorrow at 10:00 in the morning.

You will bring personal belongings for at least a week.

I will give you proper instructions for sequestration in the morning.

- I don't know the definition of the word. - I googled it. It's "isolated."

- Isolated. - Separated.

It's gonna be, like, camp, like, staying with all of these people.

Are we clear, folks?

Are we clear, sir?

Yes, sir.

Tomorrow, more details, 10:00 AM.

Y'all dismissed for today.

Do we have to share rooms?

- Like, with each other? - You'll find out tomorrow morning.

Oh, I hope not. I snore.

I'm trying to still figure out stuff myself.

[producer] Hey, guys, we'd love to do an interview with all of you.

We're gonna go around the room.

Everyone tell us what you're feeling right now in one word.

Let's start with Pat.

So, what, how do I feel?

[producer] Yeah. One word.

Kidnapped.

Happy.

Excited-annoyed.

It's a new experience.

Uh... misunderstood.

Understanding.

In mourning for my career.

Adventure.

Fine.

Eager.

Meh.

I just wanna say to everybody here, I'm not actually racist.

I just wanna make it clear. I was just really trying to get out...

I didn't want to do jury duty. I can't because I have schedule conflict.

And that was just something I kind of said that's--

Maybe next time don't say that, though.

- Yeah. I'm so sorry. I just-- - Why did you say you're racist?

I don't know, I just thought that's--

Just, like, eliminate that for the next time.

Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.

It's a stupid idea I had. I don't know why I said that.

[Judge Rosen] This season onJury Duty.

I have the honor of representing Ms. Jacqui Hilgrove.

It will be up to you to determine how much her suffering is worth.

- I'm gonna show them. Oh! - [Judge Rosen] Oh, my God.

****

[all scream]

- Oh, my God! - This is gonna be awesome.

[Judge Rosen] This is probably the most unorthodox trial...

Oh, shit!

...that I've presided over.

There's always something crazy that comes up.

Oh, my goodness.

Bones with more bones, and then just the bones, and then bones with other bones.

"We saw James Marsden's giant shit."

[Nikki] I will arrest every last one of y'all.

- Okay, wait, slow down. - Okay.

[all cheering]

Oh, no! No!

[Ronald] There have been so many just weird, crazy things that have came up.

Who knows what's gonna happen at this point?

[theme music playing]