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Welcome to Camp Blue Finch,
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00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:52,007
where romance in the sun
can turn deadly!
3
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,040
Best summer ever!
4
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,280
This is the summer
that's going to change your life.
5
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,521
Where the days are warm...
6
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,728
Hey, Nance,
that guitar is choice.
7
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,121
Thanks, Blake.
Bitching hair.
8
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,362
...the girls are cool...
9
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,090
Did I miss the Kumbaya circle?
10
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,527
...the nights are always hot.
11
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,088
And evil lurks
around every corner.
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00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,686
Gosh, you startled me.
13
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,604
So, I just go down
that path all the way?
14
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,331
A guy like you can go
anywhere he wants.
15
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:27,161
And any moment, Billy can strike.
16
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,844
They won't be singing Kumbaya.
17
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,361
They'll be screaming Kum Ba No!
18
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,961
Pack your bags
for Camp Bloodbath...
19
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,407
You just messed
with the wrong virgin.
20
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:50,561
...where the only marshmallow
21
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,962
that will roast is your sanity.
22
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,928
Well, they'll let me know.
23
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,886
You know you're too good
for this crap, right?
24
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,645
The casting director was all like,
"I know you from somewhere."
25
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,722
And I went, "Really?
Oh, it's probably
26
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,768
"my arc on CSI as
a bipolar mistress."
27
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,446
And he's like,
"No, I got it. Camp Bloodbath. "
28
00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,284
Am I ever going to
live that movie down?
29
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,806
I mean, it was 20 years ago.
30
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,046
Honestly, if you
ever become an actor,
31
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:04,685
don't ever do a slasher flick.
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00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,764
You wouldn't catch me dead in a movie.
You're the actress here.
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00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,080
Damn straight.
34
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,767
And I'm no actress.
I'm a movie star.
35
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:18,841
Mel's?
36
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:21,841
Mel's.
37
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,442
Let's rock and roll.
38
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,728
So, we owe
the electric company
39
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,882
$174.88 by next Monday...
40
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,804
You remember Frank?
41
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:36,881
He told me he was
going to take me
42
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,610
to Palm Springs this weekend.
43
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:39,886
No message.
No text.
44
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,041
No surprise.
45
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,640
You know, it's just
he said we were exclusive.
46
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,688
Well, he said it,
he doesn't act like it.
47
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:48,806
Whatever.
What do I know?
48
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,089
You must think I'm a total zero.
49
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:54,286
Screw him, Mom.
50
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,283
And screw his shady
hotel in Palm Springs.
51
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,324
Oh, my God.
52
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,004
Look at you taking care of me.
53
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:03,560
What happened to
that little girl
54
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,840
I used to dance with
in the backyard?
55
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,729
She grew up and is
trying to figure out
56
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,167
where this $174
is gonna come from.
57
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,682
What are you doing?
Are you crazy?
58
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,927
Our song!
59
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,604
Mom. We need to
figure this out.
60
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,285
♪ Her hair is Harlowe gold ♪
61
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,644
♪ Her lips sweet surprise ♪
62
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,051
♪ Her hands are never cold ♪
63
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,610
You're such a dork.
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00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,927
♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪
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00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,082
Everything in my life, I got wrong.
66
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,689
But you,
I got you right.
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00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,727
I love you.
You know that, right?
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00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,045
♪ She's pure as New York snow ♪
69
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,441
♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪
70
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,567
What?
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00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,041
Nothing.
72
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,081
Nothing.
73
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,649
♪ She'll unease you ♪
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00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,447
♪ All the better just to please you ♪
75
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,686
♪ She's precocious
and she knows just ♪
76
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:10,084
♪ What it takes to make a pro blush ♪
77
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:14,404
♪ She got Greta Garbo
stand off sighs ♪
78
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,405
♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪
79
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,642
Max, those are really expensive...
80
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,404
Gertie's here.
81
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,809
Coming, Aunt Pearl.
82
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,446
So, when Chris asked you to study,
was he like,
83
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,045
"I want you to come study"?
84
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,806
Or was he like,
"I want you to come.
85
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,651
"Study."
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00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,041
Please. I'm only going,
so I don't flunk Classics.
87
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,122
Come on, you know that he
broke up with Vicki last week, right?
88
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,009
And she is a mess.
89
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,242
Have you seen the veiled
suicide note/poem
90
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,442
she posted on her Facebook page?
91
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,921
It's so hilarious.
92
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,843
I read it out loud to myself.
93
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:13,921
A lot.
94
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,441
Hmm.
95
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,324
Hey, just keep on keeping on.
96
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,731
What does that even mean?
97
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,768
Something my therapist
tells me all the time.
98
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,083
You have a therapist?
Mmm-hmm.
99
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,124
Does that help you deal?
100
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,168
Mmm. No, not really.
101
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,891
She's a physical
therapist, so...
102
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:37,811
Okay. So, the
myth of Persephone.
103
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:38,927
Max, you want to take this one?
104
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,764
Sure.
105
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:41,966
She's the daughter of Zeus
106
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,691
and she eats pomegranate seeds,
107
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,843
and then Hades kidnaps her
to the underworld.
108
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,001
Yeah. Okay, good.
109
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,400
So, they go back
to the underworld
110
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:51,680
and Persephone is freaking out,
111
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,006
and Hermes is like,
"It's okay, it's okay.
112
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,161
"Just keep looking forward,
113
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,890
"or we'll be
stuck here forever."
114
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,884
Max, do you want to jot
any of this down or...
115
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,644
Oh, no, it's okay, Max.
I've already got a copy.
116
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:01,760
You can copy from me later
117
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,963
or I can give it to you
if you... If you want.
118
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,685
I'm gonna stop talking.
119
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,727
Oh, shit.
Max, hey, wait.
120
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,888
Did you not get my messages?
Duncan. No.
121
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,725
Please, come on. Please.
122
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,370
Seriously, no.
123
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,688
The Bath-maticians
were so excited when I told them
124
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,200
that Amanda Cartwright's
daughter was my sister's best friend.
125
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,520
Step-sister.
126
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,648
Why would you say that?
That's so hurtful.
127
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,411
Please, Max,
I promised that you'd be there.
128
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,164
I am the assistant
general manager
129
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,123
of the varsity.
Think of my reputation.
130
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,765
Wait. What are
"Bath-maticians"?
131
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,530
Uh, Camp Bloodbath fans.
132
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,170
It's kind of our
awesome nickname.
133
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,641
Did you know that a nickname
immediately becomes uncool
134
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,687
when you give it to yourself?
135
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,125
You know what, Gertie?
136
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,568
When my dad told me that I was
going to get a sister, I cried
137
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,250
because that's all
I'd ever wanted.
138
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,806
But not like this.
Not like this.
139
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:55,961
Don't.
140
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,441
Look, Camp Bloodbath
is like the granddaddy
141
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,289
of all campsite
slasher films, okay.
142
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,725
Amazing production design,
143
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,041
insane music,
over-the-top acting.
144
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,531
It's a cult classic.
145
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,011
Max's mom plays Nancy,
146
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,003
this sort of
shy girl-next-door
147
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,969
who gives up her butterfly
to some dumb jock,
148
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,610
and Billy Murphy comes along
149
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,967
and chops her ass up on a waterbed.
150
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,923
Sorry, Duncan.
151
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,800
Tell your cult, maybe
I'll see them next year.
152
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:23,720
I'll do all your
Classics assignments
153
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,006
for the rest of the year.
154
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,287
Papers, your homework,
all of it.
155
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,011
Gertie told me that
you were failing.
156
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,084
Please, Max, what do you say?
You wanna graduate, or not?
157
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,281
Max!
158
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,526
Gertie!
Oh, you scared me.
159
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,164
Well, this will be fun, huh?
160
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,250
Being trapped in a movie theater
with a bunch of nerds.
161
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,560
Yeah, sure.
162
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,209
You know what was fun, though?
163
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,443
Watching Chris today,
ogle over you.
164
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,601
Shut up.
165
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,000
What? That's a word, right? Ogle?
166
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,281
He likes you so much,
it's so cute.
167
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,361
Gertie. Get real.
168
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,403
He's like a giant, okay?
So, imagine us together.
169
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,170
Hey!
I'd need stilts to kiss him.
170
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,361
Hey!
Hi.
171
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,168
What are you doing here?
172
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,000
I figured you needed
some, uh, moral support.
173
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,367
Why, should I go?
Because I can if this is weird...
174
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,602
No, don't be crazy, Christopher.
175
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,250
We're so happy you're here.
176
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,561
I'm going to go popcorn up,
see you inside.
177
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,484
Wow. Your mom
was gorgeous.
178
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,085
I'm sorry. That's a weird
thing to say, isn't it?
179
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,046
Kind of.
180
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,840
It's kind of cool we get to honor her
memory this way, right?
181
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,121
Um...
182
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,567
Today's the anniversary
of her death.
183
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,884
I, uh...
184
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,726
I don't know what to say.
185
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:03,960
Me neither.
186
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,291
At least,
I get to see her,
187
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,441
even if she is being chased
by a psycho with a machete.
188
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,809
Stop, stop, stop.
189
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,166
Oh, great.
190
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,606
Hey! What a coincidence!
191
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,569
This is Tyson.
We've been hanging out
192
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,290
and he's so funny.
193
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:27,081
My abs are like shredded
from laughing so hard.
194
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,491
Anyway, Tyson wanted
to come here tonight
195
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:32,042
and I was like, "Oh, my God, no."
But here we are.
196
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,202
So, you win, Tyson.
197
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,726
So, you didn't see my post about it,
or anything?
198
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,569
No, I don't go on
your stupid Twitter,
199
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,802
which, by the way, has lost
three more followers today.
200
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,043
Anyway, see you
guys inside, okay?
201
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,281
Go.
202
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,326
I'm so wiped from
all these applications.
203
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,402
Even my safety schools,
Stanford and Cornell,
204
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,204
I'm not gonna just
half-ass them, you know.
205
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,406
It's just not my style.
206
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,211
I am lucky that
I even made it out tonight at all.
207
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,845
Thank you, Adderall.
208
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,005
Where'd Terry go?
209
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,923
Terry? Tyson?
Tyson.
210
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,402
Oh, yeah, he just
got like super-sick super-fast.
211
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:08,481
Mmm.
212
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,881
Oh, no, not the
super-sick super-fast.
213
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:16,882
Max, are they doing this
because it's, you know, the anniversary?
214
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,848
Yeah, I'm here
for an appearance.
215
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,081
I didn't think you'd...
216
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,322
Come on, Max.
Of course, I would remember.
217
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,483
I have really good memory.
It's not just the Adderall.
218
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,286
Hey, do you want anything?
219
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,805
I'm gonna go get a popcorn
220
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,008
and then we can
dump M&M'S into it.
221
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,924
That way, every handful is,
like, kind of suspenseful?
222
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,841
Sure.
223
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,251
Hey, Chris, I'm just
gonna have a Diet Coke
224
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:39,771
and a child-size popcorn,
225
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,080
but make sure to dump
half of it into the garbage.
226
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,286
You remember, right?
227
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,601
You know what,
I'm just going to come with you.
228
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,160
She is the worst.
229
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,800
She's like a living nightmare.
230
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,124
I can't believe
you used to be friends with her.
231
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,440
Look, she's probably
gonna pee on him
232
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,726
just to mark her territory.
Gertie!
233
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:54,847
Max!
234
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,122
Hey, hey, you came.
Oh, God.
235
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,965
All hail, Max!
236
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,969
Sorry, I don't know why
I worshipped you then,
237
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,166
I'm just excited to see you.
238
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,847
You're also really weird.
You're very strange and weird.
239
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,321
I can put you down
for the Q&A, right?
240
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,129
After the show, do a little Q.
241
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,361
No.
242
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,090
And a little A
243
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,367
I'll put you down as a maybe.
Okay, glad you're here.
244
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:17,887
Oh!
245
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,929
All right.
246
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,885
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
247
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,086
♪ You're so fine you blow my mind ♪
248
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,801
Hey, guys, we're here!
249
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,764
Whoo!
250
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,002
Someone wake up
Sleeping Beauty back there.
251
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,444
Are we there yet?
252
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,361
You okay?
253
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,801
Yeah.
254
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,448
It all happened so long ago.
255
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,131
Little Billy Murphy
went to camp here decades ago.
256
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:26,928
And he was always picked on
for being different, ugly.
257
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,528
And then one summer,
the hottest one on record,
258
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,246
the counselors decided
to play a little prank on him.
259
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,201
No one really knows
how Billy was
260
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,851
before it happened.
261
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,604
The counselors hated him,
262
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,921
and the other kids
bullied him mercilessly.
263
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,328
Stop! Go away!
264
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,122
Billy, open up.
265
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,531
I know how to get him out.
266
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,807
Soak this moment in, babe,
267
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,042
because you're always
gonna remember me.
268
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,050
What does that tattoo mean?
269
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,043
It was given to me in juvie.
270
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,841
I was caught stealing cherries.
I'm a... I'm a cherry thief.
271
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,481
Neat.
272
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,041
Oh.
273
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,725
Nice legs.
274
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:57,886
What time they open?
275
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,041
Kurt?
276
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,361
Kurt?
277
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,242
I'm going to get some air.
278
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,525
The exits are blocked!
279
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:52,801
Duncan, is there an exit
behind the screen?
280
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:53,927
Yes. Yes.
281
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:57,766
Come on!
Go, go, go.
282
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,041
Go, go, go.
283
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,764
Max! Oh, God!
What happened?
284
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,042
Where the hell are we?
I don't know.
285
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,281
Did the theater burn down?
286
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,524
That was the scariest
thing I have ever seen.
287
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,651
You're alive!
Oh, thank God!
288
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:00,721
What does poison ivy look like?
289
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,881
Because I think I got...
290
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:02,961
Help me.
291
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,001
Guys, somebody's coming.
292
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,049
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
293
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,531
♪ You're so fine you blow my mind ♪
294
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,602
♪ Hey, Mickey Hey, Mickey ♪
295
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,324
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
296
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,925
♪ You're so fineyou blow my mind ♪
297
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,690
♪ Hey, Mickey Hey, Mickey ♪
298
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,971
Hey, do you guys know
the way to Camp Blue Finch?
299
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,208
- Tina!
- Yeah?
300
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,851
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
301
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,371
♪ You're so fine you blow my mind ♪
302
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,771
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
303
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,530
Oh, my God.
304
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,931
I'm having a psychotic episode.
305
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,129
We all saw
the same thing, right?
306
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,441
Maybe it's a dream.
A collective dream.
307
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,722
If this is a dream,
then there's a very strong chance
308
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,529
that my dad's going
to come up to us naked
309
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,921
and offer us some pecan pie.
310
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,322
But don't take any.
It is not pecan pie.
311
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:56,881
Oh.
312
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,163
Maybe we're dead
and this is heaven.
313
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,241
This can't be heaven.
314
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,845
Max is here and she's Jewish.
315
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:06,967
Oh, right.
316
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,411
Well, maybe it's Jewish heaven.
317
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,241
Look!
318
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,242
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
319
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,367
♪ You're so fine you blow my mind ♪
320
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,649
♪ Hey, Mickey Hey, Mickey ♪
321
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,205
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
322
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,486
♪ You're so fine you blow my mind ♪
323
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,164
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
324
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,811
Hey, do you guys know
the way to Camp Blue Finch?
325
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,206
Uh, yeah.
326
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,851
Just keep going
the way you're going.
327
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,846
Oh, wow, okay.
Thanks so much.
328
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:39,008
We're not dead.
We're insane!
329
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,050
No, we're not.
330
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,487
And I don't think we're
in the Valley anymore.
331
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,370
Is anybody getting any bars?
332
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,771
No.
333
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,729
Eight, seven...
334
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,882
...six, five...
335
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,724
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
336
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,006
♪ You're so fine you blow my mind ♪
337
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,560
♪ Hey, Mickey Hey, Mickey ♪
338
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,766
Hey, do you guys know
the way to Camp Blue Finch?
339
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,127
Yeah, actually we're counselors,
340
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,965
and we can show you
if you'd just give us a ride.
341
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,769
Oh, rad! Yeah, hop in.
342
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:15,887
Tubular!
343
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,201
Dude, what are you doing?
344
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,290
Do we have a choice?
We're kind of stuck.
345
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,407
Let's go.
346
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:23,726
Max.
347
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,967
Come on, guys.
348
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,651
You guys coming?
349
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,521
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
350
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,562
I can't believe
you guys are counselors, too.
351
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,489
We've never had
this many before.
352
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:47,607
When the kids
get here next week,
353
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,886
they're gonna be so pumped.
354
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,610
Hey, where are
you guys' suitcases?
355
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,887
Because, honestly, your clothes,
356
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,121
they're disgusting.
357
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,770
Says the guy in the crop top.
358
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,001
What's up?
359
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,606
Are you guys poor people?
Are you guys poor?
360
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,445
- Uh, we packed light. Yeah.
- Mmm-hmm.
361
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,726
What did you pack, Tina?
362
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,168
The basics, bikini, mouthwash, diaphragm.
363
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,851
Hell, yeah, you did.
364
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,524
'Cause they're
gonna get so naked.
365
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,721
How did you know?
366
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,202
Spring break, forever.
367
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,921
Hey, guys, we're here!
368
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,286
Whoo!
369
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,446
Someone wake up
Sleeping Beauty back there.
370
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:33,681
Mmm.
371
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,765
Are we there yet?
372
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,960
Oh, hi!
373
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,049
I'm Nancy.
What's your name?
374
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,491
Max.
375
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,082
First time away from home?
376
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,446
It's okay.
377
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,682
It's hard to be away
from your parents, huh?
378
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,805
Best summer ever!
379
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,003
Oh! Yes.
380
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:33,921
Whew.
381
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,523
Well, kiddo, this is the summer
382
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,967
that's going to
change your life.
383
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,521
No kidding.
384
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,482
Hey, Nance,
that guitar is choice.
385
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,324
Thanks, Blake.
Bitching hair.
386
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:47,401
Ah.
387
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,964
Okay. So, we're
in the movie.
388
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,727
Uh-huh. How do we get outta here?
Yeah, I like that question.
389
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,926
That's a really,
really good question.
390
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,684
Duncan, can you answer
that question, please?
391
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,285
What are you talking about?
392
00:22:58,360 --> 00:22:59,486
It's 1986!
393
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,920
Our homes don't exist yet.
394
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,530
They're probably just
landfills waiting to be
395
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,011
turned into crappy subdivisions.
396
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,764
We don't exist yet.
397
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,410
I know for a fact my
parents haven't met
398
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,528
because I was
an unplanned child.
399
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,682
Anyone wanna help me
pick some strawberries?
400
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,207
No, but I'll give you a hand
with those melons.
401
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,244
Talking about her boobs!
You guys get me, right?
402
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,004
Yeah, we do, brother.
403
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,411
Kurt is insatiable.
404
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,482
Um, okay,
so Mimi's in the woods,
405
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,006
that means everything
is right on schedule.
406
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:31,681
She hooks up with that hiker.
407
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,250
But then she gets killed, right?
408
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,847
Yeah, exactly.
Everyone who has sex in this movie dies.
409
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:37,921
It's awesome.
410
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,524
I got into bodybuilding big time.
411
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,045
Yeah. Oh, my God,
can I touch it?
412
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,531
Yeah, touch it.
Oh, wow.
413
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,130
The backside's just as hard.
414
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,201
Touch the backside.
415
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:49,122
That's right. Everyone.
416
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,811
I'm with Gertie on this one.
417
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:51,927
Let's just take
their van and bail.
418
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,206
What do we have to lose?
419
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,770
Yeah, did I say that?
I did? Okay.
420
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,045
We actually probably
shouldn't talk to them.
421
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,364
Oh! What's up, funbags?
422
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,966
Funbags. Right.
Yay, feminism.
423
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,850
Listen, we need to borrow
your van for a little while.
424
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,251
Is that okay? Yeah?
425
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,410
I don't know.
What's in it for me?
426
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,487
How about my friends
don't kick your ass?
427
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,768
Oh! This guy's your friend?
428
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,171
- Yeah, right.
- You want to go?
429
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,527
- No, no. God, no.
- Bicep, smash.
430
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,762
And that would kill you.
That's a karate technique.
431
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,410
- No, I don't.
- I've never actually
432
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,970
fought anyone before in my life.
433
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,849
Yeah, well, I have.
So many times.
434
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,046
Seven times.
435
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,611
Hey, this is so weird.
Do me a favor and just zing me. Just get me.
436
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,691
Fine. How about
you go suck a turd?
437
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,290
The writing is so bad.
438
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:54,324
Okay, tell you what.
You find the keys and the van's yours.
439
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,121
Oops.
440
00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,401
Really?
441
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,165
I'm glad that you die.
442
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,241
- What?
- Nothing!
443
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,767
What she meant to say was,
that we all die eventually.
444
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,645
Technically, we start dying
the moment we're born.
445
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,767
Yeah, right.
446
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,089
- Yes, but not to overwhelm you...
- Okay
447
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,690
I liked you when you were
laughing at my jokes.
448
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,125
Now, I just think you're weird.
449
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,406
Okay, let's just go get the...
450
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:20,686
Sorry. Let's go
get the keys.
451
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,648
Oh, hey, you wanna
give me a hand?
452
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:40,961
Sure.
453
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:42,600
All right.
Let's rock and roll.
454
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,363
Oh, my God.
It really is you.
455
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,811
- What?
- Nothing.
456
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:49,961
Whoo!
457
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,002
All right!
Push-up time!
458
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:54,521
So, um...
459
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,051
Kurt told me he
wants to do it later.
460
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:01,490
Wow. Just like that?
461
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,800
I know!
462
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,406
And it's like, I can't
stay a virgin forever, you know?
463
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:06,561
And he's been
with a lot of girls,
464
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,165
so he can probably, like,
465
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,288
I don't know, help me along.
466
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,001
You shouldn't have sex!
467
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,081
Why?
468
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,563
Because I heard
that sex can kill you.
469
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,247
Max. Sex isn't
anything to be afraid of.
470
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:20,731
I mean, Tina's already
done it twice today,
471
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,325
and look at her,
she's totally normal.
472
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:27,921
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
473
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,331
She says the best
feeling in the world
474
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,522
is getting stoned and
doing it on a waterbed.
475
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,642
Don't hang around Tina.
476
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,927
No, but I told myself
that I was going to
477
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,411
lose my virginity this summer.
478
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,289
Get drunk!
Not necessarily in that order.
479
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:41,930
Please, just trust me.
480
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,291
You sound like my mom.
481
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:46,761
Right back at you.
482
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,126
Hello, hi.
483
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,806
Uh, we have to go get everyone.
Let's go.
484
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,760
We will pick this up again.
Is that understood?
485
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,251
In the meantime,
486
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,240
just stay away from Kurt
and keep your shorts on.
487
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,201
Okay.
488
00:26:58,760 --> 00:26:59,921
What are you doing?
489
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,130
Dibs on the one that looks like
Ricky Schroder.
490
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,925
Their hair's so flat.
It's making me sad.
491
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,722
That girl with the freckles
is sort of cute.
492
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:10,887
You know, none of them
493
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,849
are on the counselors' roster.
494
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,126
Where did they come from?
495
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,443
We are never gonna
find these keys.
496
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,682
Not with that attitude,
we're not.
497
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,925
Though,
you are correct.
498
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,445
Let's go back. Now.
499
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,170
Shh.
It's happening.
500
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,409
- We have to warn her.
- No. No.
501
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,323
Just think of them as animals
502
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:46,640
on a nature preserve, okay?
503
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,167
Our duty is not to disrupt,
but to observe.
504
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,765
Oh!
505
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,243
Oh, gosh,
you startled me.
506
00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:58,328
Sorry, I'm looking for town.
507
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,602
So, I just go down
that path all the way?
508
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,405
A guy like you
can go anywhere he wants.
509
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,121
I can't believe we're just gonna
510
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,089
casually watch
someone get murdered.
511
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,446
What is this, Detroit?
512
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,204
Mmm.
513
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,521
What is that noise?
It's Billy. He's coming.
514
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,611
Let's get out of here then.
No, no. Stay, stay.
515
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,167
Did you hear something?
516
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,366
Baby, I didn't hear a thing.
517
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:42,124
Give me a second.
Go over there. Get ready.
518
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,165
Okay! Where's the beef?
519
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,930
Come on, man!
I said, where's the...
520
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:22,521
Run!
521
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,011
Go, go, go, go!
522
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:25,446
Guys, guys,
wait, wait, wait.
523
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:26,851
Duncan!
524
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,331
What are you doing?
525
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:29,845
Duncan.
526
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,526
It's okay.
He won't hurt us.
527
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,365
He would've
killed me by now, okay?
528
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,524
I think it's because we're not
actually part of the movie,
529
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,523
he doesn't really
know what to do with us.
530
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,284
Isn't that right, Billy Boy?
531
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,047
Man, you are big and scary.
532
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,484
I wonder if all this blood
is just corn syrup, you know?
533
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:47,846
Like these characters
are walking around
534
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,843
with just corn syrup
in their veins, you know?
535
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,370
Let's give it a shot here.
536
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,086
- Oh, God.
- No, that is, um... That is not corn syrup.
537
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,481
That is...
Oh, God, that's blood.
538
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,684
All the more reason for us
to get the hell outta here.
539
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:04,966
No, no. Look,
everything in this world
540
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:06,769
is running exactly on schedule.
541
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,251
Besides, to leave,
542
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,246
we probably have to wait
until the movie's over, or something.
543
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,845
Well, when is that
going to happen?
544
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:14,524
Okay, look, movies like this end
545
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,602
when the final girl
kills the main bad guy
546
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:17,761
and the credits roll.
547
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,205
It's actually
pretty sick in this one.
548
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,680
She kicks up the sword and
she kills him with his own machete
549
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:22,767
and she's like...
550
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,769
- And Billy's like...
- It goes right through his hands.
551
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,649
Like...
552
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,202
Head splits open. Pfft!
Punches it.
553
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,964
Brain goes out...
554
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,041
- Duncan!
- Ugh.
555
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,689
Anyway, this smoking
hot girl called Paula,
556
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,001
she arrives in the next reel,
she's the final girl.
557
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:45,288
Oh, yeah, she is the only one
in this movie who doesn't die.
558
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,283
All we've got to do
is stick with her
559
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,725
and we're going to have
the best seats in the house.
560
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,610
Trust me, this last battle
will blow your minds.
561
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,523
- Okay, selfie time.
- Duncan!
562
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,330
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
563
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,250
I think I almost
just pissed my pants.
564
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:35,560
You did piss your pants.
565
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:36,721
What? No, I didn't.
566
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,002
Let's get out of here!
567
00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,360
Wait! Where are you going?
568
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,845
You're gonna miss
the slumber party.
569
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,724
You came back! Yay!
570
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:06,921
This way!
571
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,087
Wait! Where are you going?
572
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,650
You're gonna miss
the slumber party.
573
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,768
You came back! Yay!
574
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,005
What is happening?
575
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,725
Wait! Where are you going?
576
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,040
You're gonna miss
the slumber party.
577
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,043
You came back! Yay!
578
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,682
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
579
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,567
I don't think
Billy's the only problem.
580
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,130
It's the movie.
581
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,531
The movie won't let us leave.
582
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,568
♪ Michael, row your boat ashore ♪
583
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,644
♪ Hallelujah ♪
584
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,044
♪ Michael, row your boat ashore ♪
585
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,484
♪ Hallelujah ♪
586
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,003
♪ Sister, help to trim the sails ♪
587
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,284
♪ Hallelujah ♪
588
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,808
♪ Sister, help to trim the sails ♪
589
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,009
♪ Hallelujah ♪
590
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,404
♪ Jordan's river is deep and wide ♪
591
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,804
♪ Hallelujah ♪
592
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,164
♪ Got a home on the other side ♪
593
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,444
♪ Hallelujah ♪
594
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,404
Come on, everyone.
Sing along!
595
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,082
Duncan is dead.
We have to warn them.
596
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,764
Please. They're morons.
597
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,649
I wanna know where
they keep the hardware in this dump.
598
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,200
I want chainsaws and I want big-ass
knives, and I want them now.
599
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,927
What am I gonna
tell our parents?
600
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,886
I don't want to die here, guys.
601
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,089
- Me neither.
- There's got to be a way to get home.
602
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,009
Did I miss the Kumbaya circle?
603
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,400
Paula, you're just in time
604
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,289
to start setting up
for the slumber party.
605
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,682
Yeah, we took a vote
and you get to share my sleeping bag.
606
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,884
Thanks, Kurt.
But I'm saving myself
607
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,803
for someone who
doesn't have a needle dick.
608
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:10,881
Yeah right, it's like
609
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,282
a hammer dick, if anything.
610
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,407
It's a sledgehammer.
611
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,007
Uh, who are they?
612
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,847
Oh, they're the new counselors.
They're super nice.
613
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,365
We don't have new counselors.
614
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,171
Well, now we do.
615
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,045
All right, guys,
let's split up into groups and get busy.
616
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,121
Whoo!
617
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,929
That's her.
That's Paula.
618
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,126
She's the final girl, right?
619
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,201
She's the one that kills Billy.
620
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,089
We just have to stay with her
till the end of the movie.
621
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,242
I'm sticking to that bitch
like white on rice.
622
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,891
Okay. Now, we just have
to keep Billy away from us.
623
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,246
It's just like Duncan said.
624
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,049
The moment a top comes off,
Billy shows up.
625
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,969
- Vicki, stick with Paula and Tina.
- Mmm-hmm.
626
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,008
Gertie, you take Blake.
Chris, take Kurt.
627
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,491
No, I want Chris
to stick with me.
628
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,085
No, we have to cover everyone.
629
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:55,207
I'll stick with my mom.
630
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,606
You know that's
not your mom, right?
631
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,728
Vicki!
Don't defend her.
632
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,962
This delusional shit
is gonna get us all killed.
633
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:12,927
Ooh! Whoa!
634
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,843
Look at the pair on her!
635
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,241
I would just motorboat
those for hours.
636
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:18,771
Yeah, but look
at those articles,
637
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,170
I could read those
all night long.
638
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,809
What are you, a fag?
639
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,884
You don't like some
nice big hoots?
640
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:28,121
Hooting!
641
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,927
My dads are gay.
So, shut the hell up.
642
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,447
Yeah, right!
Gay guys can't have kids.
643
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,602
They're too busy going to discos
644
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:36,880
and having sex with each other.
645
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,002
It's actually
a pretty cool lifestyle.
646
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:44,967
Oh!
647
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:46,725
- Hi.
- Hey.
648
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,086
I really like your pin.
649
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:49,446
Oh, thank you.
650
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,126
Where'd you get yours?
651
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,531
My friends gave them to me.
652
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,250
Where'd you get yours?
653
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,163
Um, I made it, actually,
654
00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:02,131
at this, like, prison
pen-pal convention thing.
655
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,249
Oh, that's awesome!
656
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,288
Yeah.
657
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,521
Hey, what's up
with this cassette?
658
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,011
There are no holes in it.
659
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,000
Give me that.
660
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,608
- What are these?
- No, no. Bad!
661
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,646
Not for you. Very bad!
662
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,202
It's too bad all the girls
are so busted, huh?
663
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,050
The only way you or I
are going to get any
664
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:35,770
is with angel eyes over there.
665
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,126
What? Are you nuts?
666
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:43,689
No, no, no. These girls
are slamming, my man.
667
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,646
And I am going
to do all of them.
668
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,207
Yum! By the way,
what's with you and Max?
669
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,281
Are you guys...
670
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:56,401
Are you guys having sex?
671
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,721
Because if not,
I wouldn't mind
672
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,643
bench pressing her
with my dumbbell.
673
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,768
Oh!
Listen, brah,
674
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,569
you're not bench pressing
anyone with your dumbbell.
675
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,166
If I so much hear your dumbbell
took a Pilates class...
676
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:09,368
What?
...I'm gonna cut it off.
677
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,405
I swiped a whole
case of this stuff
678
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,970
from my uncle before coming.
679
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,040
I'm gonna need it
if I'm stuck here for the summer
680
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,970
instead of souping up
this bitching firebird I found in...
681
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,168
Yeah, yeah, yeah, great.
Where do they keep the chainsaws here?
682
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:22,521
What?
683
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,001
We might want to find out, right?
Where they keep them?
684
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,241
Because you never know
685
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,482
when you might need a chainsaw.
686
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,361
Why do we need a chainsaw
for a slumber party?
687
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,242
I know what's going to
go down at this camp,
688
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,243
and it's not pretty.
689
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,401
Uh, so, where's that
other guy you came with?
690
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:45,961
Uh...
691
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:47,731
- My brother.
- Mmm-hmm.
692
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,723
Yeah, he's, uh...
693
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,563
He's napping somewhere.
694
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,288
Okay, let's go.
You want to go?
695
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,125
Yeah, let's.
You got all the wood you need.
696
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:17,920
Mom, no!
697
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,322
- Get dressed. Now.
- Oh, my God, Max!
698
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:28,970
What are you doing here?
Get out!
699
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,326
Nancy, if you go
through with this,
700
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,606
you're going to get hurt.
701
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,126
Kurt said he liked me, okay.
He said it.
702
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,371
Yeah, they always say it,
they just don't act like it.
703
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,122
God. You must think
I'm a total zero.
704
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:55,121
I just wanted to feel
grown-up, special.
705
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,082
You are special.
706
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,921
I'm the shy girl with the
clipboard and the guitar.
707
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,286
Special to who?
708
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:06,731
Special to me.
709
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:12,850
Who are you, Max?
710
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,491
Soak this moment in, babe,
711
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,244
because you're always
gonna remember me.
712
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,361
Oh, shit.
713
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:22,681
Ooh!
714
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,206
Two for the price of one.
715
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,408
You babes just couldn't wait,
could you?
716
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,045
We're leaving.
Too late.
717
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,922
Genie's already out of the bottle.
Make a wish.
718
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:34,361
Ew.
Ew.
719
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,047
Where's Max?
720
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,804
I don't know.
Do you hear that?
721
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,208
What'd I say, huh?
Leave her alone!
722
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:08,122
Lock the windows!
Shut the curtains! He can see us!
723
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,009
Who is he?
724
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,924
Max. You have to
tell them about Billy.
725
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,322
Oh, God. He's here.
726
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:21,924
Not Billy Murphy?
I mean, he's just a legend.
727
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,525
Oh! I love legends.
728
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:28,124
Loch Ness, Bigfoot,
Bon Jovi. All of them.
729
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,323
It all happened so long ago.
730
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,406
Little Billy Murphy went
to camp here decades ago.
731
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:51,684
And he was always
picked on for being...
732
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,882
Um, guys?
733
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,008
...different, ugly.
734
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,401
And then one summer...
This is bad.
735
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,323
...the hottest one on record,
736
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,370
the counselors decided
to play a little prank on him.
737
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,211
What's happening?
738
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,081
Oh.
739
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,522
This is...
What, are we home?
740
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,444
Oh, God, why am I colorblind?
Am I having a stroke?
741
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,166
I think we're in a flashback.
742
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:31,730
♪ Lollipop, lollipop ♪
743
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,370
♪ Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli ♪
744
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,010
♪ Lollipop, lollipop ♪
745
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,684
♪ Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli ♪
746
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,091
♪ Lollipop, lollipop ♪
747
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,049
♪ Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli ♪
748
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,326
♪ Lollipop ♪
749
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,290
It started as
just another ordinary day.
750
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,129
But little did they know...
What the hell is that voice?
751
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:47,920
...something was about
to go horribly wrong.
752
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:49,764
No one really knows
how Billy was
753
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,490
before it happened.
754
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,882
The counselors hated him,
and the other kids bullied him mercilessly.
755
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,291
Stop!
756
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:57,771
Where'd you get
these clothes, huh?
757
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,327
Guys, that's Billy.
Come on, Billy.
758
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,447
Hey, what are you
little idiots doing?
759
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,443
Billy's in there,
and he's been in there forever.
760
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,409
Billy locked
himself in the outhouse,
761
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,323
thinking he'd be safe,
but he was wrong.
762
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,131
Billy.
Billy, open up.
763
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:18,683
I know how to get him out.
764
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,006
Billy had third-degree
burns all over his body
765
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,650
because of
the counselors' prank.
766
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,602
And the only thing that could
distract Billy from his terrible pain,
767
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,650
was thinking about
what had been done to him.
768
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:52,202
And during those long,
agonizing nights in the burn ward,
769
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:55,170
Billy's fear was slowly
replaced by something else.
770
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:57,968
Hatred.
771
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,167
His face would
never be the same.
772
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:02,726
And so, he made a mask
773
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,041
to hide his scars
on the outside,
774
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,202
but his anger
grew on the inside.
775
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,765
All Billy wanted was
to make everyone as afraid
776
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,525
as he was
on that terrible day.
777
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:15,764
He started his reign of terror
778
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,446
by returning to
exact his revenge.
779
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,411
He killed
eight counselors that night.
780
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,324
One for every month
he spent in that hospital bed.
781
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,129
And legend has it
Billy still lives
782
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,043
in these woods
in his own little shack,
783
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,441
waiting for new counselors
to cross his path,
784
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:46,888
waiting to get revenge
again and again.
785
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,244
The car! The car!
786
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,527
Guys, you can't leave!
Literally!
787
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:17,043
Get up! Get up! Stop!
Don't come any closer.
788
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,282
Okay, just listen.
We can explain.
789
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,330
You can't leave.
None of us can.
790
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:23,481
Not until he's dead.
791
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,561
Until who's dead?
792
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,005
- Billy Murphy.
- What?
793
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:31,131
Drive! Drive!
794
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:36,525
Look, I'm just
trying to save you.
795
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,841
Why? Why are you
trying to save me?
796
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,410
Well, because you're my...
797
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,166
My first friend here.
798
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:49,890
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
799
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,530
Help me.
I'm not dead!
800
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,603
Duncan!
You're alive!
801
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,366
No, you killed Duncan!
802
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,490
Let's just go to a hotel
and just relax for the night
803
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,688
and maybe we can
get into something.
804
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,721
Oh, my God, Kurt!
Oh, my God!
805
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:15,564
Paula! She's alive!
806
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:16,926
Paula, don't move!
807
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,006
Shit!
808
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,721
I can't believe
they're all dead.
809
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,406
They were never alive.
810
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,562
They weren't real.
Neither are you.
811
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,961
Because this is just a movie,
812
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:44,886
and Paula was the only one
that could kill Billy.
813
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,371
We're screwed.
814
00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:53,246
What does she mean, "just a movie"?
815
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,924
So, we're in a movie?
816
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,125
But this is a horror movie,
817
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,211
and Billy Murphy's
really after all of us.
818
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:08,960
Why do I have to wear
all this stuff again?
819
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,365
Because you're scripted
820
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,040
to do a striptease
at the slumber party,
821
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,521
and when you take your top off,
Billy comes running.
822
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,651
But why does he hate my boobs?
823
00:46:17,720 --> 00:46:19,006
Because they're not big?
824
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,970
So, wait,
is new wave real?
825
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,088
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
826
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:26,447
But I'm not real.
827
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,281
You're only real in the movie.
828
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:31,931
So, yeah, you're real here.
829
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:34,686
Oh, cool.
830
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:36,964
Guys, we just wanna get home.
831
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:38,644
But, okay...
832
00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,609
But you said Paula was the
only one who could kill him.
833
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,921
And she just died.
834
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:46,482
Exactly. Which is why
we need to nominate a new final girl.
835
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:49,771
And I'm willing to be it.
836
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,526
- What?
- Well, you're not a virgin.
837
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,564
I am, too, a virgin!
838
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,162
I technically am that...
839
00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:03,446
Whatever, what does it matter?
840
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,642
Because it just does, Vicki.
841
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:07,725
You have to be
a virgin in this movie
842
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:09,450
in order to kill Billy, okay?
843
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:13,923
And the only
true-blue virgin here is Max.
844
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:17,566
I'm not the only virgin.
845
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,125
Gertie,
you're a virgin.
846
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,441
No. Not anymore.
847
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:24,005
Last summer,
with that guy Gerry.
848
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:26,005
He had the like weird mustache
849
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,161
and he, like, winked, remember?
850
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:28,441
Isn't he autistic?
851
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:33,605
Yeah. Yeah, he is.
But he's also very romantic.
852
00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:36,451
Damn, superfreak.
I like!
853
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,004
Okay, let's make a plan.
Yeah.
854
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,442
We need to
get Billy's machete.
855
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:42,567
The one he's holding?
856
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,324
Yeah. Duncan said
that's the only way to kill him.
857
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:45,527
Everything else
just slows him down.
858
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,330
So, we're supposed to
just pry it from his hands?
859
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,450
Well, we don't really have
any other options. Okay?
860
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:52,762
Look, we just have to get
his machete into Max's hands
861
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:54,365
so she can chop his head off,
end the movie,
862
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,124
and we can all go home.
863
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,486
No. No way!
I can't do this.
864
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,569
See? She's even saying
that she can't do it.
865
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,246
Vicki! Enough! Jesus!
Can you just shut up for a second?
866
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,360
God! I can't believe
I put up with you for so long.
867
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,763
- Max, you got this.
- No.
868
00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:13,720
Max. You can do this.
869
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:15,406
If it wasn't for you,
we'd all be dead
870
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,845
burning in the theater
right now.
871
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,285
Yeah, and look where I got us.
872
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,846
I can do it. I can
be the final girl.
873
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:23,961
I'm a virgin, too.
874
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:25,844
I didn't sleep with Kurt.
875
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,082
So, now I guess I'll
be able to save myself
876
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:29,366
for George Michael after all.
877
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:30,970
I wouldn't hold
your breath, honey.
878
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:32,485
Why?
879
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,165
It doesn't matter. Nancy,
you can't be the final girl.
880
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,328
It's not in your DNA,
or whatever.
881
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,243
You're the shy girl with the
clipboard and the guitar.
882
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:41,480
You get laid
and then you die.
883
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,010
You're just part
of the body count.
884
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:44,127
No offense.
885
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,090
That came out wrong.
886
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,168
Thanks a lot.
Max.
887
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,204
I was just trying to help.
888
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:09,361
Nancy?
889
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:16,763
Am I really gonna die?
890
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:21,961
Yeah.
891
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,609
So, I guess I never grow up,
892
00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:29,607
or fall in love or have kids.
893
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,327
I had this dream that
when I graduated college,
894
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,801
I would meet a guy.
895
00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:40,087
And we'd have
a baby. A girl.
896
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:44,723
And if she ever needed me,
I would do anything for her.
897
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:45,801
Anything.
898
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,410
I would've made
a really great mom.
899
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,490
The best.
900
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,808
God, this totally sucks!
901
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:04,370
It's so bogus!
902
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,528
I should have known
something was up with this place.
903
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:07,681
I mean, think about it.
904
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,445
What the hell kind of
summer camp has waterbeds?
905
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,487
What do we do now?
906
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:28,771
We fight.
907
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:33,248
All right, guys.
No more junior varsity bullshit.
908
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,527
We gotta lead with
a pro-style offense.
909
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,125
Something Billy
won't see coming.
910
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:39,089
We have to use everything
we have at our disposal.
911
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,003
I was thinking the best
opportunity for an ambush
912
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,401
would be the slumber party,
with a few tweaks.
913
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:44,800
That means it's
just a question of
914
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:46,251
luring him here at
just the right time.
915
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:47,440
How are we going to do that?
916
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:48,720
I think I have an idea.
917
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:52,171
"Operation Booby Trap?"
918
00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:55,210
Yup. And Tina's
going to be the bait.
919
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:45,806
Vicki, are you crying?
920
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,120
I'm fine.
921
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,250
Gertie, I'm sorry for
that time in junior high
922
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:58,766
when I told everyone to start
calling you "Ba-chunk-adunk."
923
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:01,241
And then I covered
your locker in bacon.
924
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,482
That was so crappy.
925
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:05,608
And I'm so sorry.
926
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:07,925
I'm such a bad person.
927
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,570
You're not. It's okay.
928
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,165
If it makes you feel better,
929
00:52:11,240 --> 00:52:13,322
last summer, I'm the one
who spread the rumor
930
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:14,646
that said you had
a weird disease
931
00:52:14,720 --> 00:52:16,085
where you're
always on your period.
932
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,570
Wow. That's evil.
933
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,005
Thank you.
934
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:25,609
Hey, Max, if I'm
going to die tonight,
935
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,125
then I don't want to die
without telling you
936
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:33,048
that when your mom died,
you shut down completely.
937
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:36,008
And just cut me
out of your life.
938
00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:40,084
And I missed you.
I missed our friendship.
939
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,002
And then you two
became best friends
940
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,321
and, I don't know,
I got jealous.
941
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,687
And so, I did
some really bad things
942
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:49,330
and I'm not proud of them.
943
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,051
Vicki.
No, no, no, just let me finish, okay.
944
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,441
I know that I've become a...
945
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:55,851
A bitch?
946
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:57,285
Yes, thank you.
947
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:01,610
But the thing is, Max,
I've always looked up to you
948
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,241
because you were
always the brave one.
949
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,284
So, be brave again.
950
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:10,770
Vicki, you don't have to die.
951
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:14,728
I'm the mean girl in
the '80s horror movie.
952
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,451
And we're past the mid-point,
so, you know,
953
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,921
I'd say that I've
overstayed my welcome.
954
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:35,645
Ooh!
955
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,643
Oh, no, no, no!
Uh-uh. No. No, Tina.
956
00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:42,451
Tina, hey. Yeah. No.
957
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:45,967
You know not to take off
any of your clothes until we say so, right?
958
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,761
Yeah? No sex.
959
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:51,203
How could anyone
think about sex
960
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,009
when I have this rad gadget?
961
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:54,721
What is this thing, anyway?
962
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:55,961
It's a phone.
963
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:01,441
Yeah. Please,
I'm not that gullible.
964
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,449
Um, hello, operator? Yes,
I'm trying to make a call
965
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:06,521
but I can't
966
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:08,364
because my phone's
not plugged into anything.
967
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:11,241
Oh, my God, kill me.
968
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,402
Guys, it's almost time.
Let's get ready.
969
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:14,681
Okay.
970
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:19,921
How you holding up?
971
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,366
Been better.
How about you?
972
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,248
I'm really scared.
973
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:30,127
Uh...
974
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,124
Uh, are the arrows ready?
975
00:54:32,720 --> 00:54:35,291
Yeah, I'm on it.
976
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:46,005
"Adderall."
977
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,967
God, your parents must be
freaking out right now.
978
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:57,804
You've been gone for hours.
979
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:00,247
They must be
so worried about you.
980
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:01,481
Not really.
981
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,883
I never knew my dad.
And my mom's away.
982
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:09,131
What's she like?
983
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:14,927
She, uh... She was so
beautiful and funny.
984
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,283
She never knew
how awesome she was.
985
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:21,446
How'd she die?
986
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,323
I never said she died.
You said "was."
987
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:26,607
So, I just figured.
988
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,123
It's okay. You don't
have to tell me.
989
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,284
Here, I want you to have this.
990
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,682
It's a friendship bracelet.
So, you don't forget me.
991
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,246
How could I ever forget you?
992
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,566
You know,
if this all works out,
993
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,369
I'm really gonna miss you.
994
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:51,930
When you go home, I mean.
995
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:55,521
Oh, God, I sound totally molded.
996
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:57,602
I know we just met,
it's silly for me to say that.
997
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:00,081
It's just...
I guess it's like,
998
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:02,003
who am I going to
talk to after you leave?
999
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,128
You know? Tina?
1000
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:06,611
She's not very smart.
1001
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,331
Maybe you don't have to.
I don't?
1002
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,370
I mean, I carpool
with her to camp,
1003
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:13,726
it's kind of inevitable.
1004
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,246
No, I mean, maybe you
don't have to stay here.
1005
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,002
Look, I know in the movie,
you're supposed to die,
1006
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:20,884
but that doesn't mean
you have to, right?
1007
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:23,166
Right.
1008
00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:24,651
And if you don't die,
1009
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:26,649
then that means
you'll be around at the end of the movie,
1010
00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:27,960
when we leave.
1011
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:29,361
Right.
1012
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:33,644
So, then who's to say
you can't just come home with me?
1013
00:56:34,720 --> 00:56:35,960
Oh, my God.
1014
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:39,284
- Where's home?
- The Valley.
1015
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:41,521
The Valley.
1016
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:44,440
I don't know, Max, I don't know.
1017
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,006
You're just... You're kind of
blowing my mind right now.
1018
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:48,650
No, think about it!
1019
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:51,409
If you come home with me,
1020
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,164
you can be whoever you want.
1021
00:56:53,240 --> 00:56:54,844
You don't have to be
the shy girl
1022
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:56,445
with the clipboard
and the guitar.
1023
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,488
You could be...
I could, like, go to college.
1024
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:00,409
And drive a convertible.
Right. Totally!
1025
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:01,851
An go shopping at the mall.
1026
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:03,201
Actually, people
don't really shop
1027
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:04,770
at malls anymore.
They shop online.
1028
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:05,881
What's online?
1029
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,841
Never mind, I made that up.
Just keep going!
1030
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:12,481
Okay! I wanna shop online
and I wanna start over.
1031
00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:15,803
You know, I could be
different in the Valley.
1032
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:30,603
What if I don't make it, Max?
1033
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,204
This time, you will.
1034
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,001
Hey, guys.
1035
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,282
Hi. So sorry to interrupt,
1036
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:43,966
but, um, we have
a bit of a situation.
1037
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:52,369
Tina, are you...
I'm great! I'm amazing!
1038
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,169
She ate your Adderall?
1039
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:56,442
Tina, hey. Eyes here.
1040
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:57,721
Hmm.
1041
00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:59,447
Yes.
1042
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,171
How many of my, um,
Tic Tacs did you have?
1043
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,688
They're not Tic Tacs!
And I had, um, three.
1044
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,042
No, 10 or 30!
1045
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:10,327
It was 30!
Maybe we need to re-strategize.
1046
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,290
No, no, no.
I got this. I got this.
1047
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:14,721
Tina.
1048
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:15,847
Are you sure you can...
1049
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:18,730
Look, man, I got
this, all right?
1050
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,402
I got this!
I so got this.
1051
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:24,441
She'll be fine.
1052
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,244
I really think
she's more focused now.
1053
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,044
- Right, Tina?
- Yes!
1054
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,121
Guys. Let's start.
1055
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:42,767
All right, guys.
This is it. Sound off. Ready.
1056
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:45,365
Ready! Ready! Ready!
1057
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:46,767
Totem pole?
1058
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:47,841
Ready!
1059
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:49,883
- Stereo?
- Ready.
1060
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:51,530
- Arrows?
- Ready!
1061
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:57,408
All right then, Nancy,
unleash the beast.
1062
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:08,491
♪ Wow!♪
1063
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:16,251
♪ Well, swinging on the front porch,
swinging on the lawn ♪
1064
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:18,561
♪ Swinging where we want
'cause there ain't nobody home ♪
1065
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,405
♪ Swingin' to the left
and swingin' to the right ♪
1066
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:23,926
♪ if I think about baseball
I'll swing all night ♪
1067
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,206
♪ Yeah ♪
1068
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:27,810
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1069
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:29,640
♪ Huh! ♪
1070
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:32,081
♪ Swingin in the living room,
swingin' in the kitchen ♪
1071
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:34,811
♪ Most folks don't 'cause
they're too busy bitchin' ♪
1072
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,121
♪ Swingin' in there 'cause
she wanted me to feed her ♪
1073
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,329
♪ So I mixed up the batter
a' And she licked the beater ♪
1074
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:43,006
♪ I scream, you scream,
we all scream for her ♪
1075
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,845
♪ Don't even try 'cause
you can't ignore her ♪
1076
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:48,241
♪ She's my cherry pie ♪
1077
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,051
♪ Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise ♪
1078
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,600
♪ Tastes so good
make a grown man cry ♪
1079
00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:56,126
♪ Sweet cherry pie ♪
1080
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:59,290
♪ She's my cherry pie ♪
1081
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:05,962
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he's coming. He's coming!
1082
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,401
He's coming!
Not yet. Wait to move!
1083
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,244
No, no! He's so close!
1084
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:15,165
Tina!
1085
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:18,291
Cut the rope!
1086
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:30,564
- Gertie.
- Yeah?
1087
01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:32,641
I love you.
1088
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:34,721
Oh, screw it.
1089
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:04,768
Everybody in the kitchen!
Now! Now! Go now!
1090
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:12,286
It's okay.
It's gonna be fine.
1091
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,208
Gertie, come on.
Hurry up!
1092
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,411
Go!
1093
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:42,964
Go, go, go! Go!
1094
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:46,561
Come on, Nancy. Come on.
1095
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:56,121
Shit!
1096
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:57,961
It's stuck!
1097
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,330
We're stuck!
We're stuck!
1098
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,409
No!
1099
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:22,964
Max, it's okay.
1100
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:25,721
Just go.
1101
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:32,325
Go.
1102
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:09,448
What's happening?
1103
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:16,049
It's slow motion.
1104
01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:20,845
Jump!
1105
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:36,960
- Flashback! Flashback! Flashback!
- What?
1106
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:38,690
Just say the words!
What words?
1107
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:40,920
Billy Murphy was a kid
who went to camp here years ago.
1108
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:42,644
Tell me the
story again! Hurry!
1109
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:44,890
He was always picked on
for being different, ugly.
1110
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:46,291
Keep going.
Don't stop!
1111
01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:47,930
And then one summer,
the hottest one on record,
1112
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,287
the kids decided to play
a little prank on him.
1113
01:04:57,440 --> 01:04:58,680
Where the hell are we?
1114
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:00,171
A flashback!
A flashback!
1115
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,044
Does that mean we're safe?
1116
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:12,447
♪ Lollipop, lollipop
Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli ♪
1117
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:16,207
♪ Lollipop, lollipop
Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli ♪
1118
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:18,282
Holy crap, this thing is heavy.
1119
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:22,331
Guys, where's Billy?
1120
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:24,165
Billy locked
himself in the outhouse,
1121
01:05:24,240 --> 01:05:26,242
thinking he'd be safe,
but he was wrong.
1122
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:27,845
Oh, my God, that's me!
1123
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,047
Ugh.
1124
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:31,407
That's what I sound like?
1125
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,209
- Look at him run!
- Wait.
1126
01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:40,850
Where's Billy going?
1127
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:42,521
Wait.
1128
01:05:57,560 --> 01:05:59,164
I don't know that part of camp.
1129
01:05:59,240 --> 01:06:00,810
I've never seen
that cabin before.
1130
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:08,282
Shit! End the flashback! End it!
1131
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:09,765
Just skip to the end!
1132
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:11,490
Legend has it Billy
still lives in these woods
1133
01:06:11,560 --> 01:06:13,449
waiting for new counselors
to cross his path,
1134
01:06:13,520 --> 01:06:15,409
waiting to get
revenge again and again.
1135
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:19,891
Did we leave him there?
1136
01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:22,691
I wouldn't count on it
Let's move.
1137
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:38,806
Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
1138
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:40,201
Yeah, I'm fine.
1139
01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:41,486
Max!
1140
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:44,041
Max!
No!
1141
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:45,611
Let me go! Let me go!
1142
01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:47,364
She's gone, Max.
No! She's alive! She's...
1143
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,244
Max, she's gone.
1144
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:52,171
No. She's not.
1145
01:06:57,640 --> 01:06:58,641
Come on.
1146
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:26,161
Keep pressure on it.
Don't move, I'll be back.
1147
01:07:26,640 --> 01:07:28,130
Max, she's dead.
1148
01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:32,761
She's supposed to die,
just like the rest of them.
1149
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,723
No, she's lived
this far into the movie,
1150
01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:36,131
longer than she ever has before.
1151
01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:37,645
She's not real.
1152
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:40,041
None of this is real.
1153
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:41,161
Yes, she is!
1154
01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:42,446
Max, wait.
1155
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:48,482
I don't wanna die alone.
1156
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:56,843
Listen to me.
You're not gonna die.
1157
01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:59,443
Nobody else is dying tonight.
1158
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,684
I know exactly where
he's taken her.
1159
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:38,211
Hey, Nancy.
1160
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:43,808
Max? Max!
1161
01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:55,964
He was right there.
1162
01:10:32,480 --> 01:10:33,481
No!
1163
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:46,161
Get up!
1164
01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:50,162
Come on, let's get out of here.
1165
01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:52,644
Come on, come on.
1166
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:06,011
Chris.
1167
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:07,650
Max, over here.
1168
01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:10,324
Sit down.
1169
01:11:16,440 --> 01:11:17,521
Am I dying?
1170
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:20,570
No. I know how to fix it.
1171
01:11:21,440 --> 01:11:23,124
You're not the
final girl yet, Max.
1172
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:25,521
Because of me.
I'm still alive.
1173
01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:27,566
- No.
- Yes.
1174
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:31,008
No! I'm already dying,
so you could survive!
1175
01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:33,123
You can be the final girl.
1176
01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:35,202
No, Max. No.
1177
01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:38,122
That's not who
I'm supposed to be, remember?
1178
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:41,047
I'm just the shy girl
with the clipboard and the guitar.
1179
01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:43,608
Yeah, but you wanted
to change that.
1180
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:46,602
Honey, let me do this.
1181
01:11:47,080 --> 01:11:48,491
No.
1182
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:52,486
Max, I'm not afraid.
1183
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:57,484
I wanted to save you.
1184
01:11:58,440 --> 01:12:01,842
Oh, Max, you did.
1185
01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:04,928
You did, Max.
1186
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:08,402
Just by letting me
be here with you.
1187
01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:13,405
I've never felt more real
or more alive ever before.
1188
01:12:13,480 --> 01:12:14,606
No.
1189
01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:18,122
No, Mom, you belong
at home, with me.
1190
01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:23,250
Look, your name is Amanda Cartwright,
and you live in Encino,
1191
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:26,688
and you love
Bette Davis Eyes and Mel's Diner.
1192
01:12:26,760 --> 01:12:30,401
And you wanted to be
the biggest movie star,
1193
01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:32,323
more than anything in the world.
1194
01:12:35,240 --> 01:12:36,800
And you had a daughter.
1195
01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:41,530
You have a daughter.
1196
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:48,202
I'm not going back without you.
1197
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:53,802
I don't wanna lose you again.
1198
01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:55,960
Max.
1199
01:12:57,640 --> 01:13:01,804
I'm not lost.
I'm right here, all right?
1200
01:13:02,280 --> 01:13:04,681
You'll always know
where to find me, okay?
1201
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:07,764
But you have to let me go.
1202
01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:10,730
You have to let me go.
1203
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:35,571
Bye, Max.
1204
01:13:45,080 --> 01:13:46,491
I love you.
1205
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:52,688
That's what
I never got to tell her.
1206
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:55,365
Don't worry.
1207
01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:59,609
Wherever she is, she knows.
1208
01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:02,843
You were right about
one thing, you know?
1209
01:14:03,680 --> 01:14:04,841
What?
1210
01:14:05,720 --> 01:14:07,484
I'm a movie star.
1211
01:14:30,040 --> 01:14:32,281
♪ Her hair is Harlowe gold ♪
1212
01:14:34,320 --> 01:14:36,926
♪ Her lips sweet surprise ♪
1213
01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:40,925
♪ Her hands are never cold ♪
1214
01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:44,606
♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪
1215
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:46,887
♪ She'll turn her music on you ♪
1216
01:14:48,720 --> 01:14:51,087
♪ You won't have to think twice ♪
1217
01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:55,121
♪ She's pure as New York snow ♪
1218
01:14:56,480 --> 01:14:59,370
♪ She got Bette Davis eyes ♪
1219
01:15:02,200 --> 01:15:03,884
♪ And she'll tease you ♪
1220
01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:05,884
♪ She'll unease you ♪
1221
01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:09,841
♪ All the better just to please you ♪
1222
01:15:10,320 --> 01:15:13,927
♪ She's precocious and she knows just ♪
1223
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:18,404
♪ What it takes to make a pro blush ♪
1224
01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:22,730
♪ She got Greta Garbo stand off sighs ♪
1225
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:26,725
♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪
1226
01:15:32,200 --> 01:15:34,806
♪ She'll let you take her home ♪
1227
01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:38,282
♪ It whets her appetite ♪
1228
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:43,085
♪ She'll lay you on her throne ♪
1229
01:15:44,120 --> 01:15:46,726
♪ She got Bette Davis eyes ♪
1230
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:49,485
♪ She'll take a tumble on you ♪
1231
01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:53,041
♪ Roll you like you were dice ♪
1232
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:57,127
♪ Until you come out blue ♪
1233
01:15:58,360 --> 01:16:01,170
♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪
1234
01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:51,968
You just fucked
with the wrong virgin.
1235
01:18:58,120 --> 01:18:59,281
It's over.
1236
01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:32,961
What is happening?
1237
01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:34,206
I don't know.
1238
01:19:41,600 --> 01:19:42,886
Hold on tight!
1239
01:20:20,360 --> 01:20:22,601
This food is so disgusting.
1240
01:20:23,080 --> 01:20:24,320
Speak for yourself, girl.
1241
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:26,084
This tapioca pudding
is incredible!
1242
01:20:26,560 --> 01:20:29,723
You've had like 15 of
those in the last 30 minutes.
1243
01:20:29,880 --> 01:20:31,450
I counted them, 15!
1244
01:20:31,880 --> 01:20:34,281
Little known fact,
I can't stand tapioca pudding.
1245
01:20:34,440 --> 01:20:35,805
Then why did you eat 30 of them?
1246
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:37,689
Let me eat my
feelings in peace.
1247
01:20:38,520 --> 01:20:39,851
Max!
Hey!
1248
01:20:40,760 --> 01:20:41,886
You're awake!
1249
01:20:49,840 --> 01:20:52,047
When you get a second,
try the pudding.
1250
01:20:54,240 --> 01:20:55,685
Wait, where are we?
1251
01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:57,922
We're home.
1252
01:21:01,280 --> 01:21:02,566
But was it a dream or...
1253
01:21:02,640 --> 01:21:04,210
No, not at all!
1254
01:21:04,280 --> 01:21:05,805
- Remember?
- Ugh.
1255
01:21:06,200 --> 01:21:08,362
That is a machete wound,
1256
01:21:08,440 --> 01:21:10,807
poorly stitched
by an incompetent doctor.
1257
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:12,609
I'm actually more
concerned about tetanus
1258
01:21:12,720 --> 01:21:14,529
because the machete
had a bit of rust on it,
1259
01:21:14,640 --> 01:21:17,564
and I did not see
the doctor give me a shot.
1260
01:21:17,680 --> 01:21:21,401
Duncan, I love you
and I'm so happy you survived,
1261
01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:23,204
- but do you hear yourself when you say things?
- God.
1262
01:21:23,280 --> 01:21:24,566
Do you hear the words
in your head first?
1263
01:21:24,640 --> 01:21:25,801
And she's back.
1264
01:21:26,440 --> 01:21:27,851
I feel like
the jock at high school
1265
01:21:27,920 --> 01:21:29,649
just gave me his promise ring.
1266
01:21:51,040 --> 01:21:53,281
Doctor, stop.
Oh, come on.
1267
01:21:54,080 --> 01:21:55,525
My shift's almost over.
1268
01:21:55,600 --> 01:21:57,204
I have to do my rounds.
1269
01:21:57,320 --> 01:21:59,687
And what beautiful
rounds they are.
1270
01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:02,323
Oh, my God.
Of course.
1271
01:22:06,240 --> 01:22:08,368
Of course, what?
1272
01:22:16,400 --> 01:22:17,481
The sequel!
1273
01:22:21,960 --> 01:22:22,960
This is so great!
1274
01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:24,880
The sequel is
so much cooler than the original.
1275
01:22:32,560 --> 01:22:33,561
Mark.
1276
01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:36,962
Let me just wipe my sweat off
with this tampon.
1277
01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:39,202
Blooper!
1278
01:22:41,720 --> 01:22:44,724
How about you go suck a turd?
1279
01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:47,521
That's perfect,
so perfectly bad.
1280
01:22:47,840 --> 01:22:52,209
Like that's Bad. Michael Jackson Bad?
That guy's talented.
1281
01:22:52,320 --> 01:22:53,810
- King of Pop.
- Yeah.
1282
01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:58,682
Wasn't expecting that.
1283
01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:08,445
- No!
- Shit.
1284
01:23:08,520 --> 01:23:09,640
It's broken!
1285
01:23:12,080 --> 01:23:15,766
Oh, God, you killed Duncan.
You smell great, by the way.
1286
01:23:16,280 --> 01:23:17,725
Oh, you killed him!
1287
01:23:17,800 --> 01:23:19,211
I promise I won't tell the cops
1288
01:23:19,280 --> 01:23:20,441
if we just go have sex!
1289
01:23:20,840 --> 01:23:22,683
Right now! Now!
1290
01:23:28,320 --> 01:23:29,446
I'm not even scared.
1291
01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:34,971
Oh, God, Jesus.
1292
01:23:35,920 --> 01:23:37,126
- Oh.
- Chris.
1293
01:23:37,240 --> 01:23:38,241
One more time!
1294
01:23:40,760 --> 01:23:42,285
I've only had sex one time
1295
01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:43,885
and it was with
my cousin Heather!
1296
01:23:43,960 --> 01:23:46,201
Honestly, that
wasn't your fault,
1297
01:23:46,280 --> 01:23:49,204
and I won't
tell the cops if we have sex.
1298
01:23:50,520 --> 01:23:51,726
Let's...
1299
01:23:55,560 --> 01:23:58,450
Look, Chris, you and I
don't know each other well.
1300
01:23:58,520 --> 01:24:00,522
So, lose the familiarity.
1301
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:03,525
What a rude little
girl you're being.
1302
01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:08,967
She's not like this at home.
She's just showing off.
1303
01:24:09,720 --> 01:24:11,722
You guys have to learn
how to not break.
1304
01:24:11,800 --> 01:24:14,167
I'm scared.
1305
01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:16,448
Oh, I get it, because
you've only had sex with one person
1306
01:24:16,520 --> 01:24:20,002
and I'm freaking
double-digits slayer over here.
1307
01:24:20,080 --> 01:24:21,605
You probably don't
even know this move.
1308
01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:28,920
I feel like I'm
walking out like Kramer.
1309
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:31,641
Jerry.
1310
01:24:34,400 --> 01:24:37,244
Well, all my bones are broken
except for the one.
1311
01:24:37,880 --> 01:24:40,247
I'm actually
talking about this arm.
1312
01:24:40,320 --> 01:24:42,527
My penis is severely injured.
1313
01:24:42,600 --> 01:24:44,443
It's like split in
three different parts.
1314
01:24:53,200 --> 01:24:54,850
Okay, okay,
people are dying.
1315
01:24:54,880 --> 01:24:56,689
Oh, my God!
1316
01:24:58,720 --> 01:25:00,404
It's not "Ew."
1317
01:25:00,480 --> 01:25:02,244
It's not "Ew."
1318
01:25:03,840 --> 01:25:05,604
Too sexy?
Was it too sexy?
1319
01:25:06,520 --> 01:25:07,965
Impossible.
1320
01:25:08,080 --> 01:25:09,570
Ever since I was a little boy,
1321
01:25:09,640 --> 01:25:12,086
I've dreamed of being
the final girl.
1322
01:25:15,280 --> 01:25:18,284
I want you to come study.
1323
01:25:22,360 --> 01:25:23,361
One more time.
1324
01:25:25,520 --> 01:25:29,684
Well, Vicki, you're a virgin.
No, you're not, you're a slut.
1325
01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:34,481
He had, like,
the weird mustache.
1326
01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:39,521
Yeah, right!
1327
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,364
A phone that I can
put in my mouth?
1328
01:25:45,880 --> 01:25:47,882
Oh!
1329
01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:50,601
From the movie.
1330
01:25:51,040 --> 01:25:52,326
Oh, Jesus!
1331
01:25:56,400 --> 01:25:57,890
Ow!
1332
01:26:02,560 --> 01:26:04,403
All right, see you in there.
1333
01:26:12,720 --> 01:26:13,721
That's a cut!
88501
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