Original subtitles

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

Freeze! Don't even crack a smile.

After him!

Hey, you look just like...

...me!

What took you so long...

Colonel, in pursuit of subject in stolen helicopter, over.

Spread out. I don't want an accident. But stay with him.

Good thing no one's move into this building yet.

Come on, pal. Let's beat it before the fireworks start.

Help! Help!

Are you okay?

Get out of my way!

Way to go, Spider-Man.

Hey you, stop!

- Hi Miss Grant. - Peter, you can't go in there!

No, I don't want escargot. I hate escargot.

- I want caviar. - Mr. Jameson?

- Mr. Jameson. Mr. Jameson! - Parker!

Did you see I'm busy organising the party of the century?

Mr. Jameson, you're late for your tuxedo fitting

and the limo's waiting.

Blasted monkey suits, I hate 'em.

Mr. Jameson, hold on a second!

Mr. Jameson, wait! I need to talk to you.

I just wanted to ask if I can photograph the peace treaty signing?

Are you nuts?

This isn't gonna be some web-filled crime scene.

It's an important world event.

I want a seasoned pro there.

You're strictly freelance, Parker.

But let me plead my case.

You got from here to the tailor's, kid.

Make it good. Get in.

All right!

Sir, two world leaders signing a peace treaty

after centuries of hostile aggression.

This is the kind of photo that can win a Pulitzer.

All I need is one good shot.

Can't. Each newspaper's only allowed one photographer.

Well, what about your party tonight?

It's the only time the two leaders will be seen together before the signing.

After all the great Spider-Man photos I've taken for you...

Alright, alright. I see if I can get you clearance.

Driver, what are you doing?

My tailor isn't anywhere near this place.

Hey!

Just be calm, Mr. Jameson. No harm will come to you.

Maybe you forget to pay your last tailor's bill?

You don't let me go immediately, you'll wish you never laid eyes on me.

I better hang tight and see what's going down.

Unlike Mr. Calm next to me.

Do you know who you're dealing with?

I'm here by accident. But why do they want Jameson?

Only one way to find out.

What is this place?

This looks like some kind of training site for assassins.

Maybe this is a way out.

Whoa!

I'm airborne.

How did I end up here?

What is this place?

Whoever these guys are, they mean business.

But what have they done to Jameson?

What have you done with Parker?

You and I have got to talk.

Just who the blazes are you?

Name's Fury, Colonel Nick Fury.

I call the shots around here.

It can't be!

The war hero?

What's wrong, Jameson? You look like you've seen a ghost.

You're not supposed to be alive!

That's what Uncle Sam wants the world to believe.

But I printed your orbituary.

I wouldn't brag about it.

"Bugle Obits Fury, Nick."

You flipped the negative of my picture.

My patch is on the wrong eye.

You're a real piece of work, Jameson.

Now listen up.

From now on zero mistakes, get it?

What is this place?

Welcome to Supreme Headquarters

International Espionage Law Enforcement Division.

- We called it SHIELD. - Never heard of it.

Even the FBI and CIA are kept in the dark about us.

SHIELD's job is to secretly try to keep the world in one piece

no matter what it takes.

This is the Chameleon, a deadly stop-at-nothing hitman.

He can transform himself into a carbon copy of any person

whose image he can grab with this.

I first heard of him in Istanbul when he blew up an embassy.

In Rome, he attacked a military post

and then gave us the slip by taking on the appearance of a clergyman.

Last I ran into him was in Sarajevo.

He got away as a nurse.

No way he's gonna beat me again.

So? What's this got to do with me?

The Chameleon's been hired by terrorists to total the peace treaty.

And that could mean war.

So that's it.

This morning, he arrived in New York City.

New York? My party!

And that's where we'll find the Chameleon.

In a disguise that's undetectable.

But I'm having police security and FBI there.

The place will be sealed up tighter than...

They won't even notice him.

Then why don't we just cancel the party?

No can do. Got to act like everything's normal.

If we shut down every time someone threatens us,

the whole world would stop.

Now I need you to wear this.

Nobody knows your employees better than you do.

That's why you're important to me.

If you see anything suspicious, tap on this pin.

An undercover SHIELD agent will respond pronto.

The Bugle's building is crawling with them.

- But what do I... - Just keep your eyes open.

I'm sending you back now.

Oops, that's my cue.

What was that all about?

National security, Parker. Can't discuss it.

J-3 COMMUNICATIONS EXECUTIVE PERSONNEL

JOE ROBERTSON EDITOR IN CHIEF

GLORY GRANT ASSISTANT TO J. JONAH JAMESON

PETER PARKER FREELANCE PHOTOGRAPHY

Mr. Jameson, you're back early.

Is your tuxedo fitting all done?

Yeah, all done.

I need the security plans for tonight.

I left a copy in your briefcase a half hour ago.

I need them in my hands right now.

Do you have a problem with that?

No sir. I'll get them, again.

Oh. Hi there, Jonah.

Robbie, I must talk to you in private. Immediately!

Something's not right.

- Here. - What's this?

The security plans for tonight.

You gave me a copy before I left.

I know, that's what I told you!

Are you trying to drive me crazy?

What's wrong with her?

Jonah, I've got to make a quick phone call. I'll be right back.

Mr. Jameson, I've got to run.

Hold it, Parker.

This little event today.

I don't want you to... Hey!

Where'd those security plans go?

They were right here. Maybe Robbie took them.

Why on earth would he...

Ha! No! Robbie!

Hey! Hey! What are you...

No spider sense. No Chameleon.

You got it wrong! Let him go.

Spider-Man? What is he doing here?

Agent One, get him!

No imaging device. He's not the one. Fan out!

You! Stop!

I got him. Floor 7, west wing.

He's in the form of Miss Grant.

All agents. Floor 7.

Detain Glory Grant. Cover all exits.

Got you. I don't usually pick up strange women.

Fun, but not too smart.

Stupid! Should have had him.

Talk about the dangers of second hand smoke.

Just the man I was looking for.

Peter, I'm understudying the lead in the Shakespeare fest tonight

and I saved you a seat.

Will you come?

I'll take that as a "yes".

- Peter. Why did you do that? - I had to.

What made you think I'll let you?

I took a gamble that Peter Parker was the luckiest man on earth.

All units, red alert.

The VIPs are arriving. It's show time.

Ah ha! Bruce?

Looks like the Chameleon has arrived.

Keep smiling, old buddy.

Intruder alert. Floor 31, sector 5.

There's been a breach. Floor 31.

Chameleon, stop!

Whoop, nice haircut.

This is going to ruin my lungs faster than tailing a Manhattan taxi.

It's the Chameleon. Get him!

No! Stay back.

This is stupid. While we fight, the Chameleon gains the advantage.

Time to lose you boneheads.

Maybe it's time for me to change faces too.

- Agent One? - Yes, Colonel.

Situation's code red. I'm coming there in person.

I'll rendezvous with you at the penthouse in 10 minutes.

Aye sir. Over and out.

Penthouse. Code red. I've got to get the VIPs out.

The Colonel thinks the Chameleon's moving upstairs.

BASEMENT

Okay, okay. I'll check it out.

Got to check the gas main.

"Wherefore was I to this keen mockery born?"

"When at your hands did I deserve such scorn?"

"But you must flout my insufficiency?"

Where in blazes are you, Parker?

"Good troth, you do me wrong. Good sooth, you do"

"In such disdainful manner me to woo."

"But fare you well. Perforce I must confess."

"I thought you lord of more true gentleness."

How the heck did this happen?

Now if I were a Chameleon, whose colors would I choose?

Spider sense!

The Chameleon's close. Where is he?

The Colonel says it's time to get the VIPs out.

Great! They've been here long enough.

The VIPs are leaving?

Maybe I better keep an eye on things.

Good job, agent.

Colonel, you're early.

My daddy once told me it's the early bird that catches the Chameleon.

- Follow me. - What do you know.

Fury's here in the flesh.

I guess he wanted to personally get into a safe...

Wait a minute. Oh no!

You! Hold it right there!

Hold your fire!

I knew it would happen.

Spider-Man's finally gone berserk.

Wait. You don't understand!

Stop! Look at the Fury.

The eye patch.

It's on the wrong eye.

There's your Chameleon!

Agent One, I'm on my way up. Report your location.

Report. Do you copy?

Fury?

Send a crew to check the wreckage.

We have to make sure he didn't bail.

How could the Chameleon make such a stupid mistake?

That's simple, pickle puss.

He probably based his disguise on Fury's picture,

from the obituary in your files.

The one that was printed flipped.

But he didn't know that.

I guess it really does pay to practice shoddy journalism.

- Keep it up, JJ. - Why you...

Gotta run.

For a while there, I didn't think we were gonna get to see this.

I heard that.

Parker, what are you doing here?

How in blazes did you get in?

I have my methods, Mr. Jameson.

Like any good free lancer.

When I want to get a shot, nothing gets in my way.

All I need is one good clean shot.

Now I got you!

And there's no escape.

No! Get your hands off me.

Let go, you fool!

Don't stop me now.

I'm so...

So close.

So...

Sleep tight, Chameleon.

Maybe when you wake up,

you'll feel more like yourself.

The Chameleon? Here? Right next to me?

Urgh. I need a long vacation.

Well Bruce, I saved the world again.

And what do I get for it?

As usual, zilch. Nada. Nothing, that's what.

Heck of a job, Spider-Man. Thanks!

Did he say "thanks"?

Someone thanking Spider-Man?

Huh, that's a first.

I'll get it, Aunt May.

Oh, Mary Jane!

Thanks.

For not coming to my play, as you promised.

As I promised?

And don't you ever kiss me that way again.

What kiss?

Chameleon! Oh no!

Mary Jane, wait! I can explain.

At least I think I can explain.

Okay, maybe, maybe I can't explain, but... just listen. Listen to me.

Hold on a second.