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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,841 --> 00:00:44,775 Excuse me. 2 00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:47,370 Could you tell me how to get to the medical school? 3 00:00:47,413 --> 00:00:49,881 I'm supposed to be doing a lecture in about 20 minutes, 4 00:00:49,915 --> 00:00:51,780 and my driver's a bit lost. 5 00:00:51,817 --> 00:00:54,650 You go straight ahead, 6 00:00:54,686 --> 00:00:57,985 and, uh, you make a left over the bridge. 7 00:00:59,591 --> 00:01:01,718 That's a lovely accent you have. 8 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,662 - New Jersey? - Austria. 9 00:01:05,697 --> 00:01:08,427 Austria! Ha ha! Well, then... 10 00:01:08,467 --> 00:01:10,662 G'day, mate. 11 00:01:12,337 --> 00:01:15,636 Let's put another shrimp on the barbie. 12 00:01:15,674 --> 00:01:17,767 Let's not. 13 00:01:20,312 --> 00:01:22,246 Oh. 14 00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:43,484 Now, who's got the wiener schnitzel? 15 00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:46,965 Beautiful. There you go, Dolf. 16 00:02:46,999 --> 00:02:49,399 There you go, buddy. Yeah. 17 00:02:49,434 --> 00:02:50,958 Let's see. 18 00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:53,563 Next, we got roast beef au jus. 19 00:02:55,374 --> 00:02:57,433 Who's got the roast beef au jus? 20 00:02:57,476 --> 00:02:59,501 Stella, beautiful. Bon appetit, Stella. 21 00:02:59,545 --> 00:03:01,342 Oui oui, yeah. 22 00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:03,541 Walk away. Go on. Go on. 23 00:03:03,582 --> 00:03:06,312 Last but not least... foot-long! 24 00:03:06,351 --> 00:03:09,343 - Who's got the foot-long? 25 00:03:09,388 --> 00:03:11,481 There you... very funny, rascal. 26 00:03:11,523 --> 00:03:13,718 Very funny. In your dreams. 27 00:03:13,759 --> 00:03:16,660 Man: Harry, why haven't you dropped those dogs off at the show yet? 28 00:03:16,695 --> 00:03:19,357 Uh, sir, I didn't want to send them 29 00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:21,332 to a performance on an empty stomach, sir. 30 00:03:21,366 --> 00:03:23,960 - Get a move on it! - Yes, sir. 31 00:03:24,002 --> 00:03:26,334 Mutt cutts. 10-4. 32 00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:47,358 Whew. 33 00:03:47,392 --> 00:03:49,326 Suck me sideways. 34 00:04:02,474 --> 00:04:05,637 Hello. How are you? 35 00:04:07,946 --> 00:04:11,006 Uh-uh-uh... uh... uh-uh-uh... 36 00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:12,880 I'll be out in one minute. 37 00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:21,053 Ow. 38 00:04:42,848 --> 00:04:44,713 Why are you going to the airport? 39 00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:46,615 Flying somewhere? 40 00:04:46,652 --> 00:04:48,085 How'd you guess? 41 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,587 I saw your luggage. 42 00:04:49,621 --> 00:04:51,589 Then when I noticed the airline ticket, 43 00:04:51,623 --> 00:04:53,591 I put two and two together. 44 00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:55,559 So where're you headed? 45 00:04:55,594 --> 00:04:57,061 Aspen. 46 00:04:57,095 --> 00:04:59,086 Mmm... California. 47 00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:01,326 Beautiful. 48 00:05:03,535 --> 00:05:06,902 Name's Christmas, Lloyd Christmas. 49 00:05:06,938 --> 00:05:09,133 I'm Mary Swanson. 50 00:05:09,174 --> 00:05:12,143 This isn't my real job, you know. 51 00:05:12,177 --> 00:05:14,441 - No? - Nope, my friend Harry and I 52 00:05:14,479 --> 00:05:16,674 are saving up our money to open our own pet store. 53 00:05:16,715 --> 00:05:18,945 That's nice. 54 00:05:19,951 --> 00:05:22,852 - I got worms. - I beg your pardon? 55 00:05:22,888 --> 00:05:26,051 That's what we're going to call it... I Got Worms. 56 00:05:26,091 --> 00:05:28,525 We're going to specialize in selling worm farms, 57 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,892 you know, like ant farms. 58 00:05:32,531 --> 00:05:34,556 What's the matter? 59 00:05:34,599 --> 00:05:36,863 A little tense about the flight? 60 00:05:37,969 --> 00:05:39,766 Something like that. 61 00:05:39,805 --> 00:05:42,433 There's really nothing to worry about, Mary. 62 00:05:42,474 --> 00:05:44,704 Statistically, they say you're more likely 63 00:05:44,743 --> 00:05:46,643 to get killed on the way to the airport, 64 00:05:46,678 --> 00:05:49,112 you know, like in a head-on crash or flying off a cliff 65 00:05:49,147 --> 00:05:51,081 or getting trapped under a gas truck... 66 00:05:51,116 --> 00:05:53,050 That's the worst. I have this cousin... 67 00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:54,712 well, I had this cousin. 68 00:05:54,753 --> 00:05:57,916 Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please? 69 00:05:58,023 --> 00:05:59,923 Oh. Yeah. 70 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:01,721 Good thinking. 71 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,591 Can't be too careful. 72 00:06:03,628 --> 00:06:05,858 A lot of bad drivers out there. 73 00:06:11,803 --> 00:06:14,169 Hey, watch it! 74 00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:24,845 Okay, gang, you know the rules... 75 00:06:24,883 --> 00:06:27,010 no humping, no pushing, no sniffing heinies. 76 00:06:27,052 --> 00:06:31,512 Where have you been? My dogs were supposed to be here 40 minutes ago! 77 00:06:31,556 --> 00:06:33,524 Now I hardly have any time to primp them. 78 00:06:33,558 --> 00:06:35,822 Don't worry about a thing, Mrs. Neugy-burger. 79 00:06:35,861 --> 00:06:37,658 - Neugeboren! - Neug-neug-neug... 80 00:06:37,696 --> 00:06:39,129 - Boren! - Boren. 81 00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:41,098 These pooches aren't going to need any primping. 82 00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:42,760 You know why? I'll tell you why. 83 00:06:42,801 --> 00:06:45,065 Because I bathed them and I clipped them myself. 84 00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:47,867 And I stand by my performance. 85 00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,780 You know, on second thought, 86 00:06:59,818 --> 00:07:02,082 you might just want to run a comb through 'em. 87 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,585 Male voice: The white zone is for the immediate 88 00:07:04,623 --> 00:07:07,091 loading and unloading of passengers only. 89 00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:09,286 No parking. 90 00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:13,559 Thanks. Here you go. 91 00:07:13,598 --> 00:07:16,066 Oh no, Mary. 92 00:07:16,101 --> 00:07:18,433 I couldn't possibly accept that, 93 00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:20,870 not after all we've been through. 94 00:07:23,675 --> 00:07:25,575 Thank you, Lloyd. 95 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:28,977 - Uh, good luck with your worms. - Yeah. 96 00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:30,914 Hey. 97 00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:33,914 How about a hug? 98 00:07:33,952 --> 00:07:35,715 The white zone is for the immediate 99 00:07:35,754 --> 00:07:38,951 loading and unloading of passengers only. 100 00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:40,821 No parking. 101 00:07:47,098 --> 00:07:48,963 Oh. 102 00:07:50,569 --> 00:07:53,197 I hate goodbyes. 103 00:07:53,238 --> 00:07:54,796 Oh. 104 00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:01,469 Uh, Lloyd... 105 00:08:01,513 --> 00:08:03,674 Shh! 106 00:08:03,715 --> 00:08:05,706 Just go. 107 00:08:27,239 --> 00:08:29,366 Be strong. 108 00:08:43,255 --> 00:08:45,052 Woman over PA: Mr. Dan Mitchell, 109 00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:47,558 please pick up the white courtesy phone. 110 00:08:47,592 --> 00:08:51,722 Mr. Dan Mitchell, please pick up the white courtesy phone... 111 00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:55,130 She's gonna leave the briefcase near the escalator. 112 00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:58,795 - You make the pickup. - Piece of cake. 113 00:09:07,779 --> 00:09:10,407 ugh! 114 00:09:16,054 --> 00:09:18,022 Hi! 115 00:09:18,056 --> 00:09:21,025 Passenger Maura Tadge, 116 00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:23,584 please pick up the white courtesy phone. 117 00:09:23,628 --> 00:09:25,118 You have a message. 118 00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:27,358 Passenger Maura Tadge. 119 00:09:33,004 --> 00:09:34,995 Agh! Mary! 120 00:09:36,241 --> 00:09:39,039 Man: There's our payday. 121 00:09:40,078 --> 00:09:42,103 She left it. Let's go. 122 00:09:42,147 --> 00:09:45,446 Lloyd: Excuse me! Coming through! 123 00:09:47,152 --> 00:09:50,849 Move it or lose it, sister! 124 00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:56,193 Hey! 125 00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:00,697 Eenie... 126 00:10:00,732 --> 00:10:03,132 meenie... minie... 127 00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:05,466 mo! 128 00:10:12,243 --> 00:10:14,211 Hold that plane! 129 00:10:14,245 --> 00:10:16,907 Sir, you can't go in there! 130 00:10:16,948 --> 00:10:18,210 It's okay! 131 00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:20,410 I'm a limo driver! 132 00:10:24,923 --> 00:10:27,323 - Agh! 133 00:10:27,359 --> 00:10:29,884 Whew... 134 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,242 Hi, Lloyd. 135 00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:51,908 Hi, Harry. 136 00:10:51,950 --> 00:10:54,783 - How was your day? - Not bad. 137 00:10:54,819 --> 00:10:57,185 Fell off the jetway again. 138 00:11:02,694 --> 00:11:04,252 Who the hell you figure 139 00:11:04,295 --> 00:11:06,195 this guy's working for, anyway? 140 00:11:06,231 --> 00:11:08,290 I don't know. 141 00:11:10,235 --> 00:11:13,295 We sure as hell better find out. 142 00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:18,802 The ulcer? 143 00:11:18,843 --> 00:11:20,811 I'll live. 144 00:11:28,286 --> 00:11:31,949 - So you got fired again, huh? - Oh, yeah. 145 00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:36,324 They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know? 146 00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:40,162 Yeah, well, I lost my job too. 147 00:11:40,198 --> 00:11:44,999 Man! You are one pathetic loser. 148 00:11:45,036 --> 00:11:47,971 No offense. 149 00:11:48,006 --> 00:11:50,201 No. None taken. 150 00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:54,301 Ha ha ha! 151 00:11:54,345 --> 00:11:57,337 You know what really chaffs my ass, though? 152 00:11:57,382 --> 00:11:59,179 I spent my life's savings 153 00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:01,014 turning my van into a dog. 154 00:12:01,052 --> 00:12:03,043 Hi, Petey! 155 00:12:03,254 --> 00:12:05,449 The alarm alone cost me 200. 156 00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:07,481 Hey! Chicks love it. 157 00:12:07,525 --> 00:12:09,516 It's a shaggin' wagon. 158 00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:11,791 What's with the briefcase? 159 00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:17,330 It's a love memento. 160 00:12:17,368 --> 00:12:20,166 The most beautiful woman alive, 161 00:12:20,205 --> 00:12:22,503 I drove her to the airport. 162 00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:25,509 Sparks flew, emotions ran high. 163 00:12:25,543 --> 00:12:27,977 She actually talked to me, man. 164 00:12:28,012 --> 00:12:30,139 Get outta here. 165 00:12:30,181 --> 00:12:33,173 Oh, yeah yeah. Tractor beam... 166 00:12:33,218 --> 00:12:36,483 Sucked me right in. 167 00:12:36,521 --> 00:12:39,490 Anyway... 168 00:12:39,524 --> 00:12:41,492 She left this in the terminal 169 00:12:41,526 --> 00:12:44,188 and flew to Aspen and out of my life. 170 00:12:44,229 --> 00:12:46,254 What's in it? 171 00:12:48,266 --> 00:12:50,632 Man... I would have to be a lowlife 172 00:12:50,668 --> 00:12:54,035 to go rootin' around in somebody else's private property. 173 00:12:54,072 --> 00:12:57,439 - Is it locked? - Yeah, really well. 174 00:13:05,116 --> 00:13:07,949 Harry: There's two of them. One of them's got a gun. 175 00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:11,887 Did you pay the gas bill? 176 00:13:13,391 --> 00:13:15,222 Hey... 177 00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:17,558 Do you realize what you've done? 178 00:13:17,595 --> 00:13:19,529 I'm sorry. I say we bail. 179 00:13:19,564 --> 00:13:21,794 Okay. 180 00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:31,334 - Briefcase ain't here. 181 00:13:31,376 --> 00:13:34,072 They must have taken it with them. 182 00:13:34,112 --> 00:13:36,080 Well, he's got to come home sometime. 183 00:13:36,114 --> 00:13:37,604 Maybe we should trash the place, 184 00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:39,742 send him a little message. 185 00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:43,686 I don't think he's going to get that message, Joe. 186 00:13:43,721 --> 00:13:46,053 I mean, the guy's got worms in his living room. 187 00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:48,251 Well. 188 00:13:48,293 --> 00:13:50,761 Oh, I got a better idea. 189 00:13:53,598 --> 00:13:56,328 "I thought I taw a puddy cat. 190 00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:58,130 I did. I did." 191 00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:16,109 I can't believe we drove around all day 192 00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,987 and there's not a single job in this town. 193 00:14:19,023 --> 00:14:21,150 There is nothing, nada, zip! 194 00:14:21,192 --> 00:14:23,990 Yeah, unless you want to work 40 hours a week. 195 00:14:24,028 --> 00:14:25,461 Pfft! 196 00:14:25,496 --> 00:14:27,623 Here. I'm going to go to the store. 197 00:14:27,665 --> 00:14:29,530 Okay, just get the bare essentials. 198 00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:31,364 This is the last of our dough. 199 00:14:31,402 --> 00:14:33,996 Hey. What do I look like? 200 00:15:10,508 --> 00:15:12,305 Cripes! 201 00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:22,347 Excuse me, little old lady. 202 00:15:27,725 --> 00:15:30,159 Uh, do you have change for a dollar? 203 00:15:30,194 --> 00:15:31,718 Change? 204 00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:33,628 No, I'm sorry. I don't. 205 00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:35,690 Oh... well, uh, 206 00:15:35,733 --> 00:15:38,702 could you do me a favor and watch my stuff here 207 00:15:38,736 --> 00:15:40,465 while I go break a dollar? 208 00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:42,837 - Of course. - Thanks. 209 00:15:42,874 --> 00:15:46,071 Hey. I guess they're right. 210 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,668 Senior citizens, 211 00:15:47,712 --> 00:15:50,237 although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, 212 00:15:50,281 --> 00:15:53,114 can still serve a purpose. 213 00:15:53,151 --> 00:15:56,416 I'll be right back. Don't you go dying on me! 214 00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:04,617 - Ugh! - Where's the booze? 215 00:16:04,662 --> 00:16:07,495 I got robbed by a sweet old lady 216 00:16:07,532 --> 00:16:10,092 on a motorized cart. 217 00:16:10,134 --> 00:16:12,295 I didn't even see it coming. 218 00:16:12,337 --> 00:16:14,100 Oh... 219 00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:16,129 - Harry? - No... 220 00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:18,404 - No... - Harry. Come on, Harry. 221 00:16:18,443 --> 00:16:20,172 Cheer up. 222 00:16:20,211 --> 00:16:22,270 It gets worse, Lloyd. 223 00:16:22,313 --> 00:16:24,247 My parakeet Petey... 224 00:16:24,282 --> 00:16:27,342 - Yeah? ...he's dead. 225 00:16:30,221 --> 00:16:31,779 Aw... 226 00:16:31,823 --> 00:16:33,757 Oh, man. I'm sorry, Harry. 227 00:16:33,791 --> 00:16:35,782 What happened? 228 00:16:36,828 --> 00:16:38,796 His head fell off. 229 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,730 His head fell off? 230 00:16:40,765 --> 00:16:43,131 Yeah, he was pretty old. 231 00:16:46,437 --> 00:16:47,802 Ugh! 232 00:16:47,839 --> 00:16:49,773 That's it. 233 00:16:49,807 --> 00:16:52,275 I've had it with this dump! 234 00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:55,245 We got no food. We got no jobs. 235 00:16:55,279 --> 00:16:57,248 Our pets' heads are falling off! 236 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,216 Okay, just calm down! 237 00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,582 What the hell are we doing here, Harry? 238 00:17:01,619 --> 00:17:03,746 We gotta get out of this town! 239 00:17:03,788 --> 00:17:06,348 Yeah? And go where? Where are we gonna go? 240 00:17:06,391 --> 00:17:09,258 I'll tell you where, 241 00:17:09,293 --> 00:17:11,193 someplace warm... 242 00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:13,527 a place where the beer flows like wine, 243 00:17:13,564 --> 00:17:15,657 where beautiful women instinctively flock 244 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:17,998 like the salmon of Capistrano. 245 00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:21,634 I'm talking about a little place called... 246 00:17:21,672 --> 00:17:24,402 Aspen. 247 00:17:24,442 --> 00:17:27,605 I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes. 248 00:17:27,645 --> 00:17:30,079 Wait a minute. 249 00:17:32,316 --> 00:17:34,648 Wait a minute! I know what you're up to, mister. 250 00:17:34,685 --> 00:17:37,381 Yeah! You just wanna go to Aspen 251 00:17:37,422 --> 00:17:39,856 and find that girl who lost her briefcase, 252 00:17:39,891 --> 00:17:42,257 and you need me to drive you there! 253 00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:44,659 - Right? Am I right? - Yeah. So? 254 00:17:44,695 --> 00:17:48,096 - Am I right? Am I right? - Yeah! So? 255 00:17:48,132 --> 00:17:50,396 So I wanna go someplace where we know somebody 256 00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:52,403 who can plug us into the social pipeline. 257 00:17:52,437 --> 00:17:54,735 No! No no no! No, Lloyd! 258 00:17:54,772 --> 00:17:57,570 No! I say we stay here, we hunt for jobs, 259 00:17:57,608 --> 00:18:00,202 and we keep saving our money for the worm store! 260 00:18:00,244 --> 00:18:02,508 I don't know about you, 261 00:18:02,547 --> 00:18:04,208 but I am getting sick and tired 262 00:18:04,248 --> 00:18:05,715 of-of running from creditors! 263 00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:09,379 You know what I'm sick and tired of, Harry? 264 00:18:11,255 --> 00:18:14,884 I'm sick and tired of having to eke my way through life. 265 00:18:19,297 --> 00:18:21,458 I'm sick and tired of being a nobody. 266 00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:24,894 But most of all... 267 00:18:29,207 --> 00:18:32,404 I'm sick and tired of having nobody. 268 00:18:34,745 --> 00:18:36,770 Okay, Lloyd. 269 00:18:40,451 --> 00:18:42,612 Aspen it is. 270 00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:48,248 You'd better not be foolin'. 271 00:18:54,298 --> 00:18:57,267 Okay okay, 272 00:18:57,301 --> 00:18:59,326 just let it out. Have a good cry. 273 00:18:59,370 --> 00:19:01,338 Come on. 274 00:19:01,372 --> 00:19:03,169 Okay. 275 00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:07,812 Okay, that's enough. 276 00:19:45,483 --> 00:19:47,348 Lloyd, what are you doing? 277 00:19:47,385 --> 00:19:49,580 It feels like you're running at an incredible rate, Harry. 278 00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:51,747 Would you quit it? We're not even through Connecticut yet, 279 00:19:51,789 --> 00:19:52,983 and already you're annoying me. 280 00:19:53,024 --> 00:19:55,515 - Sorry. - Jeez. 281 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,757 - We're really doing it, aren't we? - Yeah. 282 00:19:59,764 --> 00:20:01,391 Hey, where'd you get those? 283 00:20:01,432 --> 00:20:04,868 I bought them when we filled up. 284 00:20:04,902 --> 00:20:06,927 Well... We're supposed to talk 285 00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:08,734 about all expenditures, Lloyd. 286 00:20:08,773 --> 00:20:10,604 We're on a very tight budget. 287 00:20:10,641 --> 00:20:12,871 This didn't come out of our travel fund. 288 00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:14,377 Oh. 289 00:20:14,412 --> 00:20:16,312 No, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks 290 00:20:16,347 --> 00:20:18,713 before we left. 291 00:20:18,749 --> 00:20:20,979 Where did you get 25 extra bucks? 292 00:20:21,018 --> 00:20:24,249 I sold some stuff to Billy in 4C. 293 00:20:24,288 --> 00:20:26,688 The blind kid? 294 00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:28,817 Yeah! 295 00:20:28,859 --> 00:20:30,554 Yeah. 296 00:20:30,595 --> 00:20:33,029 What did you sell him, Lloyd? 297 00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:36,395 Stuff. 298 00:20:36,434 --> 00:20:39,892 - What kind of stuff? - I don't know. 299 00:20:39,937 --> 00:20:42,030 A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles... 300 00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:44,234 Petey. 301 00:20:45,810 --> 00:20:47,744 Petey? 302 00:20:47,778 --> 00:20:50,679 You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? 303 00:20:50,715 --> 00:20:53,878 Lloyd, that-that... what are you... 304 00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:56,409 Petey didn't even have a head! 305 00:20:56,454 --> 00:20:59,787 Harry, I took care of it. 306 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,528 Pretty bird. 307 00:21:04,562 --> 00:21:06,359 Yeah. Can you say, "pretty bird"? 308 00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:07,955 Pretty bird. 309 00:21:07,999 --> 00:21:10,627 Yes, pretty bird. 310 00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:12,761 Pretty bird. 311 00:21:16,073 --> 00:21:18,098 Polly want a cracker? 312 00:21:21,812 --> 00:21:23,439 Those rat bastards. 313 00:21:23,481 --> 00:21:25,608 They're rubbing it right in our faces. 314 00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:27,641 Man, Andre'll have a goddamn hemorrhage 315 00:21:27,685 --> 00:21:29,482 if we don't get that briefcase back. 316 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,545 They must have been following us for weeks. 317 00:21:31,589 --> 00:21:34,786 - Why you say? - "Gas Man." 318 00:21:34,825 --> 00:21:37,487 How the hell do they know that I got gas? 319 00:21:37,528 --> 00:21:39,621 They gotta be pros. 320 00:21:40,998 --> 00:21:43,762 Don't worry. We're going to get that money back. 321 00:21:44,835 --> 00:21:47,463 And I'll tell you something else, 322 00:21:47,505 --> 00:21:49,496 they ain't never getting to Aspen. 323 00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:51,804 I'm going to see to that. 324 00:21:57,448 --> 00:21:59,439 Lloyd: They got The Monkees. 325 00:21:59,483 --> 00:22:01,542 They were a major influence on The Beatles. 326 00:22:01,585 --> 00:22:03,883 Yeah, I know. 327 00:22:05,022 --> 00:22:07,081 Excuse me, Flo? 328 00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:18,165 Flo, like the TV show. 329 00:22:19,704 --> 00:22:22,673 Uh... what is the "soup du jour"? 330 00:22:22,707 --> 00:22:24,368 It's the soup of the day. 331 00:22:24,408 --> 00:22:26,069 Mm-hmm... 332 00:22:26,110 --> 00:22:28,237 That sounds good. I'll have that. 333 00:22:29,547 --> 00:22:31,811 Anything else before I leave the area? 334 00:22:31,849 --> 00:22:33,612 No... yeah... 335 00:22:33,651 --> 00:22:35,516 yes yes, my soda's flat. 336 00:22:35,553 --> 00:22:37,851 It doesn't have any bubbles. 337 00:22:45,062 --> 00:22:46,825 Happy now? 338 00:22:51,068 --> 00:22:53,866 Feels good to mingle with these laid-back country folk, 339 00:22:53,904 --> 00:22:57,965 don't it, Harr? I like it a lot. 340 00:22:59,543 --> 00:23:02,671 - Uh-oh. - What? What's the matter? 341 00:23:05,783 --> 00:23:08,513 You spilled the salt, that's what's the matter. 342 00:23:08,552 --> 00:23:11,578 Spilling the salt is very bad luck. 343 00:23:11,622 --> 00:23:13,647 We're driving across the country. 344 00:23:13,691 --> 00:23:15,852 The last thing we need is bad luck. 345 00:23:15,893 --> 00:23:19,385 Quick. Toss some salt over your right shoulder. 346 00:23:24,735 --> 00:23:28,193 Uh-oh, too little too late, Harry. 347 00:23:30,741 --> 00:23:34,472 Who's the dead man that hit me with the salt shaker? 348 00:23:44,054 --> 00:23:46,488 Harry: Well... uh... 349 00:23:46,524 --> 00:23:48,048 it was a terrible mistake, sir. 350 00:23:48,092 --> 00:23:50,492 Please, believe me. I would never do anything 351 00:23:50,528 --> 00:23:52,052 to offend a man of your size. 352 00:23:52,096 --> 00:23:54,360 Kick his ass, Sea Bass! 353 00:23:57,535 --> 00:23:59,025 You gonna eat that? 354 00:23:59,069 --> 00:24:00,764 What? That? No... yes... no. 355 00:24:00,805 --> 00:24:02,796 Well... no, it crossed my mind. 356 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,899 Yeah. 357 00:24:18,989 --> 00:24:20,752 Still want it? 358 00:24:20,791 --> 00:24:23,783 Nah, you go ahead. 359 00:24:28,999 --> 00:24:32,196 You really wimped out, man. 360 00:24:32,236 --> 00:24:34,227 What are you talking about, wimped out? 361 00:24:34,271 --> 00:24:37,240 Well-well, did you... the guy hawked on my burger! 362 00:24:37,274 --> 00:24:39,504 Hey, wait a second. 363 00:24:39,543 --> 00:24:41,807 I think I just... 364 00:24:41,846 --> 00:24:44,838 Yeah... I just had an idea. 365 00:24:49,186 --> 00:24:51,416 Follow me. 366 00:24:53,157 --> 00:24:55,250 Whew. 367 00:24:58,262 --> 00:25:00,093 Lloyd: Excuse me. Guys? 368 00:25:00,130 --> 00:25:01,825 What the hell do you want? 369 00:25:01,866 --> 00:25:05,233 Uh... I just want to apologize 370 00:25:05,269 --> 00:25:07,066 for that uh... unpleasant scene 371 00:25:07,104 --> 00:25:08,799 a little earlier. 372 00:25:08,839 --> 00:25:12,240 My friend Harry and I would, uh... 373 00:25:12,276 --> 00:25:14,608 like to buy you guys a... 374 00:25:14,645 --> 00:25:16,636 round of beers... 375 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,580 just to bury the hatchet. 376 00:25:18,616 --> 00:25:20,846 Make it four boilermakers. 377 00:25:20,885 --> 00:25:22,785 Whatever you want, sir. 378 00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:25,812 I'll have the waitress bring it over immediately. 379 00:25:27,324 --> 00:25:29,622 - Lloyd, what are you doing? 380 00:25:29,660 --> 00:25:31,821 We can't afford to buy them drinks. 381 00:25:34,732 --> 00:25:36,893 Um... excuse me. 382 00:25:36,934 --> 00:25:40,802 Sea Bass and the fellas offered to pick up our check. 383 00:25:40,838 --> 00:25:43,363 They said just put it on their tab. 384 00:25:44,708 --> 00:25:46,232 They're very nice. 385 00:25:47,244 --> 00:25:49,235 Sea Bass said that? 386 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,680 Well, if uh... 387 00:25:51,715 --> 00:25:54,445 that guy at the table over there is Sea Bass. 388 00:25:58,856 --> 00:26:01,086 Ah! Uh. 389 00:26:02,092 --> 00:26:04,788 All right, if that's what he wants. 390 00:26:05,796 --> 00:26:07,764 Put these on there too, okay? 391 00:26:07,798 --> 00:26:10,164 You got it. 392 00:26:15,406 --> 00:26:18,136 I'm gonna kill those sons of bitches! 393 00:26:23,213 --> 00:26:25,738 That was genius, Lloyd, sheer genius! 394 00:26:25,783 --> 00:26:28,115 I mean, where did you come up with a scam like that? 395 00:26:28,152 --> 00:26:31,918 - Saw it in a movie once. - That was incredible! 396 00:26:31,956 --> 00:26:34,390 So what happened? So the guy tricks some sucker 397 00:26:34,425 --> 00:26:37,326 into picking up his tab, then gets away with it scot-free? 398 00:26:37,361 --> 00:26:40,990 No, in the movie, they catch up to him a half-mile down the road 399 00:26:41,031 --> 00:26:44,228 and slit his throat. It was a good one! 400 00:26:46,170 --> 00:26:49,162 Wow. 401 00:26:49,206 --> 00:26:52,107 - Harry? - What? 402 00:26:52,142 --> 00:26:54,076 I know this isn't the best time, but... 403 00:26:54,111 --> 00:26:56,341 - when you get a chance to pull over... - Yeah? 404 00:26:56,380 --> 00:26:58,109 - I gotta pee. - What, are you crazy? 405 00:26:58,148 --> 00:26:59,775 I'm not pulling over now. 406 00:26:59,817 --> 00:27:01,785 But I gotta go! What am I supposed to do? 407 00:27:01,819 --> 00:27:05,050 Well-well, whiz in one of the empty beer bottles in the back. 408 00:27:05,089 --> 00:27:07,717 They're on the floor. Just get one of... 409 00:27:07,758 --> 00:27:10,249 - Jeez, Lloyd! - Quit moving around! 410 00:27:11,261 --> 00:27:12,853 Huh! What... 411 00:27:12,896 --> 00:27:14,864 Shit! 412 00:27:17,134 --> 00:27:18,863 - Watch the seat! Watch the seat! - Okay! 413 00:27:18,902 --> 00:27:21,604 All right! 414 00:27:23,641 --> 00:27:27,008 Ahh... 415 00:27:28,012 --> 00:27:29,775 Ahh... 416 00:27:29,813 --> 00:27:33,806 - Uh-oh. - What? What's wrong? 417 00:27:33,851 --> 00:27:36,183 The bottle's almost full and I'm still going. 418 00:27:36,220 --> 00:27:39,189 - So stop going. - I can't stop going once I've started. 419 00:27:39,223 --> 00:27:41,157 It stings. 420 00:27:41,191 --> 00:27:42,715 Quick! Get me another bottle. 421 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:43,988 - What? - Come on. 422 00:27:44,028 --> 00:27:45,655 Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry! 423 00:27:45,696 --> 00:27:47,254 Come on! Come on! 424 00:27:47,297 --> 00:27:49,629 Okay okay, here here here. Hold it! 425 00:27:53,137 --> 00:27:57,073 - Hold that. - Jesus. 426 00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:03,943 Hold that one. 427 00:28:03,981 --> 00:28:05,710 Hurry. I'm pinching it. 428 00:28:05,749 --> 00:28:07,683 What are you, a camel? 429 00:28:10,754 --> 00:28:14,952 - Pull over! 430 00:28:18,295 --> 00:28:20,559 - Huh? - Pull over! 431 00:28:22,199 --> 00:28:24,793 No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing. 432 00:28:24,835 --> 00:28:27,861 Yeah. Killer boots, man! 433 00:28:27,905 --> 00:28:31,568 Pull your vehicle to the side of the road! 434 00:28:39,850 --> 00:28:42,580 License and registration, please. 435 00:28:46,890 --> 00:28:50,257 You fellas were going a little fast back there, wouldn't you say? 436 00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:53,890 You, uh... you fellas been doing 437 00:28:53,931 --> 00:28:55,762 a bit of boozing, have you? 438 00:28:55,799 --> 00:28:58,427 Sucking back on Grandpa's old cough medicine? 439 00:28:58,469 --> 00:28:59,800 No. Oh no, sir. 440 00:28:59,837 --> 00:29:01,202 - No no no. - No, huh-uh. 441 00:29:01,238 --> 00:29:04,139 Yeah, well, what's that? 442 00:29:05,809 --> 00:29:08,243 - That's nothing, sir. - Yeah, nothing. 443 00:29:08,278 --> 00:29:11,338 Yeah well, you aware that it's against the law 444 00:29:11,381 --> 00:29:13,178 to have an open alcohol container 445 00:29:13,217 --> 00:29:15,048 here in the State of Pennsylvania? 446 00:29:15,085 --> 00:29:16,450 Come on, give me that booze, 447 00:29:16,487 --> 00:29:18,819 you little pumpkin-pie- haircutted freak! 448 00:29:18,856 --> 00:29:20,517 Come on! 449 00:29:28,799 --> 00:29:30,096 Sir, no, I- I... 450 00:29:30,134 --> 00:29:31,761 No, sir, don't. Don't drink... 451 00:29:31,802 --> 00:29:33,360 You'd keep your mouth shut 452 00:29:33,403 --> 00:29:35,564 if you knew what was good for you, buddy. 453 00:29:51,822 --> 00:29:53,187 Harry: Tic Tac, sir? 454 00:29:53,223 --> 00:29:55,316 Get the hell outta here! 455 00:29:59,963 --> 00:30:03,865 Mary: How could they not have gotten the ransom? 456 00:30:03,901 --> 00:30:05,493 It just doesn't make sense. 457 00:30:05,536 --> 00:30:08,528 I left the money exactly where they instructed me to. 458 00:30:08,572 --> 00:30:10,335 Woman: Oh, it makes perfect sense, Mary. 459 00:30:10,374 --> 00:30:12,205 We should have called the authorities 460 00:30:12,242 --> 00:30:14,039 the minute we knew that Bobby was kidnapped. 461 00:30:14,077 --> 00:30:15,908 Now, Helen, we've been through this already. 462 00:30:15,946 --> 00:30:18,881 - Mr. Andre. - Nicholas. 463 00:30:18,916 --> 00:30:22,215 - Karl. - Nick Nick Nick. 464 00:30:22,252 --> 00:30:23,879 Any word yet, sir? 465 00:30:23,921 --> 00:30:25,889 No, nothing yet, Nicholas. 466 00:30:27,925 --> 00:30:29,893 I've been giving this a lot of thought. 467 00:30:29,927 --> 00:30:31,986 Maybe we should cancel 468 00:30:32,029 --> 00:30:34,088 the preservation benefit this weekend. 469 00:30:34,131 --> 00:30:35,996 It would be so easy to reschedule it. 470 00:30:36,033 --> 00:30:38,467 No, I don't think we should do anything out of the ordinary. 471 00:30:38,502 --> 00:30:41,528 Yeah, she's right. It's imperative that we carry on as usual... 472 00:30:41,572 --> 00:30:43,267 - Okay. ...especially you, Mary. 473 00:30:43,307 --> 00:30:45,036 What am I supposed to do, 474 00:30:45,075 --> 00:30:47,270 just go about my life like everything is fine? 475 00:30:47,311 --> 00:30:49,142 That's exactly what you should do. 476 00:30:49,179 --> 00:30:51,306 Yes, go skiing, go to parties, act normally, you know. 477 00:30:51,348 --> 00:30:52,940 Yeah, don't you see, honey? 478 00:30:52,983 --> 00:30:54,848 We can't let on that anything's wrong. 479 00:30:54,885 --> 00:30:57,080 If the press or the authorities get wind of this, 480 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,553 the kidnappers may panic. 481 00:30:58,589 --> 00:31:01,114 Mm. I mean, you never know 482 00:31:01,158 --> 00:31:03,126 what they might do to him then. 483 00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:41,260 - - 484 00:32:00,350 --> 00:32:02,215 So he says, "Do you love me?" 485 00:32:02,252 --> 00:32:05,278 And she says, "No, but that's a real nice ski mask." 486 00:32:12,429 --> 00:32:13,896 Hey, man, what's that? 487 00:33:01,478 --> 00:33:03,446 Whoo! 488 00:33:05,582 --> 00:33:08,244 - - 489 00:33:18,028 --> 00:33:20,019 - - 490 00:34:15,419 --> 00:34:18,479 Ahh... 491 00:34:18,522 --> 00:34:20,490 eh? 492 00:34:21,758 --> 00:34:25,421 Aah! 493 00:34:37,607 --> 00:34:45,571 - - 494 00:34:52,255 --> 00:34:54,553 Oh! Oh! 495 00:35:20,317 --> 00:35:23,445 - - 496 00:35:26,156 --> 00:35:28,590 Whoa! 497 00:35:32,596 --> 00:35:35,622 You want me to drive? 498 00:35:35,665 --> 00:35:38,133 No, I'm cool. 499 00:36:11,635 --> 00:36:13,603 Yeah! 500 00:36:13,637 --> 00:36:16,128 Get her! 501 00:36:20,377 --> 00:36:22,208 - Ohh. - 502 00:36:23,914 --> 00:36:26,246 This is the life... 503 00:36:26,283 --> 00:36:29,150 cold beer, a hot tub and paper-thin walls. 504 00:36:31,888 --> 00:36:34,857 There's only one thing that could make this moment any better. 505 00:36:34,891 --> 00:36:36,552 What's that? 506 00:36:36,593 --> 00:36:38,493 If you had a nice set of knockers. 507 00:36:38,528 --> 00:36:41,326 That's two things, Lloyd. 508 00:36:41,364 --> 00:36:44,299 Yeah, well, it's a good thing you're not stacked, Harry, 509 00:36:44,334 --> 00:36:45,801 or I'd be banging you right now. 510 00:36:47,771 --> 00:36:49,864 I'd show you what a real man can do. 511 00:36:49,906 --> 00:36:53,501 Split you like an old piece of firewood. 512 00:36:56,646 --> 00:36:59,479 You'd probably like it too, you big homo. 513 00:36:59,516 --> 00:37:01,211 Shut up. 514 00:37:01,251 --> 00:37:04,448 Don't tell me to shut up, woman. 515 00:37:13,797 --> 00:37:15,526 I don't know, Lloyd. You know, 516 00:37:15,565 --> 00:37:17,396 this place doesn't really do it for me. 517 00:37:17,434 --> 00:37:19,561 It brings back a lot of memories. 518 00:37:20,570 --> 00:37:22,333 Pour quoi? 519 00:37:22,372 --> 00:37:25,899 It was a few years ago. 520 00:37:25,942 --> 00:37:28,706 What happened, Harry? Some little filly break your heart? 521 00:37:28,745 --> 00:37:30,337 No, it was a girl. 522 00:37:30,380 --> 00:37:31,870 - Oh. - Fraida Felcher. 523 00:37:31,915 --> 00:37:34,281 Yeah, we stayed in a place just like this. 524 00:37:34,317 --> 00:37:36,717 Wasn't this classy, but, you know, nice. 525 00:37:36,753 --> 00:37:39,654 Felcher? From Cranston? 526 00:37:39,689 --> 00:37:40,986 Yeah. You know her? 527 00:37:41,024 --> 00:37:42,821 Oh, yeah! 528 00:37:42,859 --> 00:37:45,384 I mean, I remember you... 529 00:37:45,428 --> 00:37:47,794 talking about her. 530 00:37:47,831 --> 00:37:52,268 We had the most incredibly romantic time. 531 00:37:52,302 --> 00:37:54,395 I thought we were gonna be together forever, 532 00:37:54,437 --> 00:37:56,735 and then about a week later, right out of the blue, 533 00:37:56,773 --> 00:37:58,434 she sends me a John Deere letter. 534 00:37:58,475 --> 00:38:01,569 - She give you any reason? - Yeah, I called her up. 535 00:38:01,611 --> 00:38:03,306 She gave me a bunch of crap 536 00:38:03,346 --> 00:38:05,678 about me not listening to her enough or something. 537 00:38:05,715 --> 00:38:07,615 I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention. 538 00:38:07,651 --> 00:38:09,585 But the thing that hurt the most 539 00:38:09,619 --> 00:38:12,247 is I think she was seeing another guy. 540 00:38:15,558 --> 00:38:18,857 Never did find out who. 541 00:38:40,784 --> 00:38:44,447 Mental: Mr. Andre, guess who we just happened upon? 542 00:38:44,487 --> 00:38:47,547 - Yeah. - Man: I had plans. 543 00:38:47,590 --> 00:38:49,455 - Things I wanted to do. - Yeah. 544 00:38:49,492 --> 00:38:51,517 This is where it all ends... at a phone booth. 545 00:38:51,561 --> 00:38:53,392 - Yeah. The boys are holed up 546 00:38:53,430 --> 00:38:55,295 in a little love-nest for the night. 547 00:38:55,332 --> 00:38:58,028 I think they're a little bit strange. 548 00:38:58,068 --> 00:39:00,662 What the hell are these guys up to? 549 00:39:00,704 --> 00:39:02,934 I mean, is it possible that they could be feds? 550 00:39:02,972 --> 00:39:05,600 Highly unlikely from what I've seen. 551 00:39:05,642 --> 00:39:07,633 Sir, did you ever hear 552 00:39:07,677 --> 00:39:10,612 of the concept of other people? 553 00:39:10,647 --> 00:39:14,640 Um... me being that for the phone, 554 00:39:14,684 --> 00:39:15,946 sir. 555 00:39:15,985 --> 00:39:18,681 Oh, you turned your back on me. 556 00:39:18,722 --> 00:39:21,088 Ho ho ho! He got me mad. I almost like it. 557 00:39:21,124 --> 00:39:23,319 You and Shay were supposed to grab that bag 558 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,487 - so we could end this shit! - Here's your drink, baby. 559 00:39:25,528 --> 00:39:28,964 Do you know the damage I could do to you? 560 00:39:28,998 --> 00:39:32,593 Hold on a minute. 561 00:39:32,635 --> 00:39:34,728 Hmm. 562 00:39:34,771 --> 00:39:36,500 But that's not your problem. 563 00:39:36,539 --> 00:39:38,473 You didn't know. 564 00:39:38,508 --> 00:39:41,204 Get off the phone. 565 00:39:43,079 --> 00:39:46,708 Get off the pho... 566 00:39:49,686 --> 00:39:51,984 I'm sorry, Mr. Andre. You were saying? 567 00:39:52,021 --> 00:39:53,955 Look, Mental, 568 00:39:53,990 --> 00:39:56,652 these jokers have got a lot of money and it belongs to me! 569 00:39:56,693 --> 00:39:59,594 Now, I want to know who they are and what they're doing with it! 570 00:39:59,629 --> 00:40:02,826 Hey hey hey, I told you already. I'm on it. 571 00:40:02,866 --> 00:40:06,063 - All right? - Good. 572 00:40:09,606 --> 00:40:11,104 Harry: According to the map, 573 00:40:11,141 --> 00:40:12,768 we've only gone about four inches. 574 00:40:12,809 --> 00:40:14,504 You know, I don't think 575 00:40:14,544 --> 00:40:15,977 we have enough gas money. 576 00:40:16,012 --> 00:40:19,470 Relax. We have more than enough. 577 00:40:19,516 --> 00:40:21,484 I think you're wrong, Lloyd. 578 00:40:21,518 --> 00:40:22,815 How much you wanna bet? 579 00:40:22,852 --> 00:40:24,513 I don't bet. 580 00:40:24,554 --> 00:40:25,987 What do you mean, you don't bet? 581 00:40:26,022 --> 00:40:27,717 I mean I don't bet. I don't gamble. 582 00:40:27,757 --> 00:40:29,782 Pussy pussy pussy! 583 00:40:29,826 --> 00:40:32,852 - I never have, and I never will. - Yeah, right! 584 00:40:32,896 --> 00:40:35,626 I'll bet you 20 bucks I can get you gambling 585 00:40:35,665 --> 00:40:37,758 - before the end of the day. - No way. 586 00:40:37,801 --> 00:40:39,462 - I'll give you 3-to-1 odds. - Nope. 587 00:40:39,502 --> 00:40:40,662 - 5-to-1? - Nope. 588 00:40:40,703 --> 00:40:42,898 - 10-to-1? - You're on. 589 00:40:46,509 --> 00:40:47,942 I'm going to get you. 590 00:40:47,977 --> 00:40:50,810 - Huh-uh. - Oh, yeah. 591 00:40:50,847 --> 00:40:52,974 I don't know how, but I'm going to get you. 592 00:40:53,016 --> 00:40:56,144 - Yeah. Oh, yeah. - Nuh-uh. 593 00:40:56,186 --> 00:40:57,949 Come on, Joe. Let me do them. 594 00:40:57,987 --> 00:40:59,784 Let me do both of them. 595 00:40:59,823 --> 00:41:01,381 You wouldn't even have to worry about it. 596 00:41:01,424 --> 00:41:02,948 Just shut up! 597 00:41:02,992 --> 00:41:05,119 Now, we don't even know who the hell they are. 598 00:41:05,161 --> 00:41:07,152 You don't kill people you don't know. 599 00:41:07,197 --> 00:41:08,596 That's a rule. 600 00:41:08,631 --> 00:41:09,996 Now, I want you to get up here, 601 00:41:10,033 --> 00:41:11,466 lie down on the front seat. 602 00:41:11,501 --> 00:41:15,403 When they pick me up, you follow us. You got that? 603 00:41:15,438 --> 00:41:17,770 Keep your shirt on. I gotta squeeze a lemon. 604 00:41:24,747 --> 00:41:27,215 Mental: Hey, hey, hey. Here they come. 605 00:41:27,250 --> 00:41:30,014 Stay down, stay down! 606 00:41:40,263 --> 00:41:43,494 Say, uh, are you guys going to Davenport? 607 00:41:43,533 --> 00:41:46,866 My car died, and I'm late for a luncheon. 608 00:41:48,004 --> 00:41:52,168 We usually don't pick up hitchhikers, 609 00:41:52,208 --> 00:41:56,008 but I'm going to go with my instinct on this one. 610 00:41:56,045 --> 00:41:58,513 Saddle up, partner. 611 00:41:59,883 --> 00:42:01,680 You're it. 612 00:42:01,718 --> 00:42:03,743 - You're it. - You're it! Quitsies! 613 00:42:03,786 --> 00:42:05,845 Anti-quitsies. You're it. Quitsies. No anti-quitsies. 614 00:42:05,889 --> 00:42:07,186 - No startsies. - You can't do that. 615 00:42:07,223 --> 00:42:09,191 - Can too. - Cannot. Stamped it. 616 00:42:09,225 --> 00:42:10,749 Can too. Double-stamped it. No erasies. 617 00:42:10,793 --> 00:42:13,091 Cannot. Triple-stamped it. No erasies. 618 00:42:13,129 --> 00:42:15,723 You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp! 619 00:42:15,765 --> 00:42:18,666 You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp, Lloyd! 620 00:42:18,701 --> 00:42:20,692 You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp. Lloyd! Lloyd! 621 00:42:20,737 --> 00:42:22,432 Guys! Enough! 622 00:42:25,942 --> 00:42:30,276 Hey, you wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? 623 00:42:33,783 --> 00:42:36,809 Guys! Guys! Guys! 624 00:42:38,254 --> 00:42:42,281 Fellas, you think we could 625 00:42:42,325 --> 00:42:44,793 listen to the radio or something? 626 00:42:46,029 --> 00:42:47,997 Radio? 627 00:42:48,031 --> 00:42:51,023 Who needs a radio? Ready, Harry? 628 00:42:58,608 --> 00:43:00,269 - Lloyd: - 629 00:43:00,310 --> 00:43:02,278 Both: 630 00:43:21,030 --> 00:43:22,998 Hey, Lloyd, look! There's some people who want a ride too. 631 00:43:23,032 --> 00:43:24,021 Pick 'em up! 632 00:43:30,139 --> 00:43:32,630 - Harry and Lloyd: - 633 00:43:32,675 --> 00:43:36,269 - - 634 00:43:36,312 --> 00:43:38,542 Harry and Lloyd: 635 00:43:46,189 --> 00:43:48,987 Harry: You want an atomic pepper, Mr. Mentaliano? 636 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,627 Nah, you guys go ahead. 637 00:43:53,663 --> 00:43:55,893 I'll do it if you will, Lloyd. 638 00:43:55,932 --> 00:43:57,627 Okay. You go first. 639 00:43:57,667 --> 00:43:59,259 No, huh-uh, no, you go first. 640 00:43:59,302 --> 00:44:01,270 - No, you go first. - No, you go first. 641 00:44:01,304 --> 00:44:04,296 - No, you go first. - I always go first! 642 00:44:04,340 --> 00:44:06,672 Why don't you guys both stop acting 643 00:44:06,709 --> 00:44:08,336 like a couple of pussies 644 00:44:08,378 --> 00:44:10,608 and go at the same time, huh? 645 00:44:12,882 --> 00:44:15,612 - That sounds like a dare, Harry. - It's a double-dare. 646 00:44:15,652 --> 00:44:17,244 Yeah, okay, you're on. 647 00:44:18,254 --> 00:44:19,881 Mmm! 648 00:44:24,427 --> 00:44:28,386 - Huh. It's not so bad. - Uh-huh. 649 00:44:28,431 --> 00:44:30,023 Yeah. It's more tingly than hot. 650 00:44:30,066 --> 00:44:32,728 - Yeah. 651 00:44:32,769 --> 00:44:34,634 Agh! 652 00:44:43,179 --> 00:44:45,670 Uh, if you fellas would excuse me, 653 00:44:45,715 --> 00:44:47,649 I've got to use the phone. 654 00:44:47,684 --> 00:44:49,675 Enjoy your meal, guys. 655 00:44:51,821 --> 00:44:53,789 Here, Lloyd, this helps! 656 00:44:53,823 --> 00:44:55,814 Here here. 657 00:44:55,858 --> 00:44:57,382 It... it works good. 658 00:44:57,427 --> 00:44:59,418 Ugh! 659 00:45:04,701 --> 00:45:08,364 Yeah, it's Mental. I'm just sitting down 660 00:45:08,404 --> 00:45:11,271 - to a nice meal with our boys. - Well, how nice for you. 661 00:45:11,307 --> 00:45:13,798 Don't forget that your bread plate is on the left! 662 00:45:13,843 --> 00:45:16,835 Look, I can't have these guys running around Aspen. 663 00:45:16,879 --> 00:45:19,404 Don't worry. They ain't gonna be runnin' around nowhere 664 00:45:19,449 --> 00:45:22,646 after I dump a little rat poison in their Shirley Temple. 665 00:45:27,156 --> 00:45:30,819 - Good good. - Okay, that's good. 666 00:45:30,860 --> 00:45:33,328 Here he comes. Here he comes. 667 00:45:34,330 --> 00:45:35,820 Feeling better, girls? 668 00:45:35,865 --> 00:45:38,265 Yes, much better. Thank you for asking. 669 00:45:45,141 --> 00:45:47,735 So why are you going to Aspen? Vacation? 670 00:45:49,112 --> 00:45:51,307 Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you? 671 00:45:52,849 --> 00:45:55,010 It just doesn't seem like you packed much. 672 00:45:55,051 --> 00:45:58,111 All I saw was one bag and that briefcase. 673 00:45:58,154 --> 00:46:00,452 Well, no no, the briefcase isn't even ours. 674 00:46:00,490 --> 00:46:02,287 Some lady left it at the airport. 675 00:46:02,325 --> 00:46:04,020 We're just bringing it back to her. 676 00:46:04,060 --> 00:46:05,755 How's your burger? 677 00:46:07,530 --> 00:46:10,795 You mean, you don't even know her? 678 00:46:16,372 --> 00:46:18,863 I mean, 679 00:46:18,908 --> 00:46:23,208 talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 680 00:46:26,783 --> 00:46:29,843 # The other side of the mountain was all that he could see, so! 681 00:46:54,177 --> 00:46:56,441 Are you okay, man? It was just a goof. 682 00:46:56,479 --> 00:46:58,811 Oh, my ulcer! 683 00:46:58,848 --> 00:47:01,339 Quick! My pills! 684 00:47:01,384 --> 00:47:03,852 Waitress: Maybe somebody should call an ambulance. 685 00:47:03,886 --> 00:47:05,183 Look, uh, you get the pills. 686 00:47:05,221 --> 00:47:07,018 Don't worry. I know cpr. 687 00:47:07,056 --> 00:47:08,216 I'll get the pills. 688 00:47:08,257 --> 00:47:10,282 Out with the bad air, in with the good. 689 00:47:10,326 --> 00:47:12,556 - Out with the bad air... - Get off! 690 00:47:16,866 --> 00:47:18,128 Ugh! 691 00:47:20,469 --> 00:47:22,903 Agh, don't! Don't don't! 692 00:47:22,939 --> 00:47:24,236 Back back! 693 00:47:24,273 --> 00:47:27,868 This is a lot easier if you just lay back. 694 00:47:27,910 --> 00:47:30,276 - Here. - He's resisting me! 695 00:47:30,313 --> 00:47:33,544 Here. Here we go, here we go. 696 00:47:33,583 --> 00:47:35,483 - Lloyd: Pills! - There you go! There you go. 697 00:47:35,518 --> 00:47:37,418 - Pills are good! - Take 'em down. 698 00:47:37,453 --> 00:47:39,478 - Pills are good! - Drink 'em down. 699 00:47:39,522 --> 00:47:41,251 There you go. 700 00:47:41,290 --> 00:47:43,155 - There you go, big guy. - That's better! 701 00:47:43,192 --> 00:47:45,160 You want some ketchup and mustard? 702 00:47:45,194 --> 00:47:48,254 That helped us. 703 00:47:50,333 --> 00:47:53,791 Son of a bitch! 704 00:48:03,246 --> 00:48:05,305 Check, please. 705 00:48:08,351 --> 00:48:09,943 I can't believe it. 706 00:48:09,986 --> 00:48:12,284 Life's a fragile thing, Harr. 707 00:48:12,321 --> 00:48:15,222 One minute you're chewing on a burger, 708 00:48:15,258 --> 00:48:17,522 the next minute you're dead meat. 709 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:19,994 But he blamed me. You heard him. 710 00:48:20,029 --> 00:48:21,894 Those were his last words. 711 00:48:23,399 --> 00:48:25,560 Not if you count the gurgling sound. 712 00:48:29,572 --> 00:48:32,439 - You mean he was poisoned? - No doubt about it. 713 00:48:32,475 --> 00:48:35,603 We found these next to the body. 714 00:48:35,645 --> 00:48:37,545 - Sir. - Yeah? 715 00:48:37,580 --> 00:48:40,310 Waitress says he came in with a couple of younger guys. 716 00:48:40,349 --> 00:48:43,648 Now they're the ones who called the ambulance, and then they hit the road. 717 00:48:43,686 --> 00:48:46,416 - Get any idea where they were going? - We just received a report 718 00:48:46,455 --> 00:48:49,447 that they were seen headed west on l-80 towards Colorado. 719 00:48:49,492 --> 00:48:51,585 Did you get a make on the vehicle? 720 00:48:53,362 --> 00:48:55,023 Uh, yes, sir. 721 00:48:55,064 --> 00:48:59,501 They're driving an '84... sheepdog. 722 00:49:16,285 --> 00:49:18,378 - - 723 00:49:57,126 --> 00:49:58,559 Skis, huh? 724 00:49:58,594 --> 00:50:00,084 That's right. 725 00:50:00,129 --> 00:50:02,097 Great. 726 00:50:02,131 --> 00:50:04,361 They yours? 727 00:50:05,601 --> 00:50:07,330 Uh-huh. 728 00:50:10,072 --> 00:50:11,835 Both of 'em? 729 00:50:13,609 --> 00:50:15,474 Yeah. 730 00:50:15,511 --> 00:50:19,345 Cool. 731 00:50:21,617 --> 00:50:24,085 Um, excuse me, but you're, uh... 732 00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:26,418 you're spraying everywhere. 733 00:50:27,456 --> 00:50:28,946 Oh! 734 00:51:18,340 --> 00:51:22,208 - Oh, man, you gotta be shitting me. 735 00:51:22,244 --> 00:51:25,008 If it ain't my old friend! 736 00:51:26,549 --> 00:51:29,985 And right on time. 737 00:51:38,828 --> 00:51:42,093 That's a lot of luggage for a little vacation. 738 00:51:42,131 --> 00:51:44,156 - I'm moving to Aspen. - Oh. 739 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,226 I've got to get away from my boyfriend. He's such a klutz. 740 00:51:47,269 --> 00:51:50,067 Plus, my astrologer told me that I really should stay away 741 00:51:50,106 --> 00:51:52,404 from accident-prone guys, so, you know. 742 00:51:52,441 --> 00:51:54,068 Oh, well, you know, I... 743 00:51:57,279 --> 00:52:00,510 Here. It's a little loose. You might want to... 744 00:52:00,549 --> 00:52:03,643 - Mm. Thank you. - Oh, no. Hey, no, allow me. 745 00:52:03,686 --> 00:52:05,654 I've got a thing of... 746 00:52:05,688 --> 00:52:08,122 here. Got 'em right here. Right here. 747 00:52:13,662 --> 00:52:15,823 - - Thank you. 748 00:52:15,865 --> 00:52:18,834 Sure. You know, I'm heading up to Aspen myself. 749 00:52:18,868 --> 00:52:20,563 Maybe we could, you know, meet up, 750 00:52:20,603 --> 00:52:22,628 have some hot chocolate or something. 751 00:52:23,873 --> 00:52:26,364 Sure, why not? You seem harmless. 752 00:52:26,408 --> 00:52:27,773 I'm going to give you my number. 753 00:52:27,810 --> 00:52:29,641 - Let me find a pen though. - Great! 754 00:52:29,678 --> 00:52:31,839 - Let's see. - That's... ah! 755 00:52:31,881 --> 00:52:34,145 - I know I have one in here somewhere. - Look, why don't you 756 00:52:34,183 --> 00:52:36,117 just tell it to me? I got a really good memory. 757 00:52:36,152 --> 00:52:38,313 - Well, the number's 555... - 555. 758 00:52:38,354 --> 00:52:41,346 905... wait a minute. That's my old number. 759 00:52:41,390 --> 00:52:43,620 That is so weird how your mind just goes blank. 760 00:52:43,659 --> 00:52:46,492 For God's sakes, just give me the damn number! 761 00:52:46,529 --> 00:52:50,124 Okay, look, uh, you gonna get pushy, forget about it. 762 00:52:56,639 --> 00:52:58,800 Find a happy place. 763 00:52:58,841 --> 00:53:01,901 Find a happy place. Find a happy place. 764 00:53:01,944 --> 00:53:04,504 I'll show you a happy place. 765 00:53:05,514 --> 00:53:08,449 Here's your happy place. 766 00:53:43,852 --> 00:53:45,945 Man: Move those cars! Move it! Move it! 767 00:53:52,261 --> 00:53:54,195 Go around, man. Go around. 768 00:53:54,230 --> 00:53:56,926 More flags over here! 769 00:53:56,966 --> 00:53:58,900 All right, any sign of them yet? 770 00:53:58,934 --> 00:54:00,925 No, sir, but we're expecting them shortly. 771 00:54:00,970 --> 00:54:04,098 A motorist saw a pooch about 30 miles back headed this way. 772 00:54:08,644 --> 00:54:12,273 Look, I told you what happened, okay? So just drop it. 773 00:54:12,314 --> 00:54:14,441 Yeah, okay. Sure thing, Lloyd. Sure thing. 774 00:54:14,483 --> 00:54:16,951 I promise not to mention another word 775 00:54:16,986 --> 00:54:19,454 about you being in a bathroom 776 00:54:19,488 --> 00:54:21,456 with a 6'4" trucker with his pants down. 777 00:54:31,634 --> 00:54:34,000 Hey, look. We're almost in Colorado. 778 00:54:34,036 --> 00:54:36,266 What do you say we change seats? 779 00:54:36,305 --> 00:54:38,535 I've been driving for nine straight hours. 780 00:54:38,574 --> 00:54:41,543 I don't have the energy to start a new state. 781 00:54:41,577 --> 00:54:43,477 Why should I do you any favors? 782 00:54:43,512 --> 00:54:46,572 I'll let you kiss me. 783 00:54:46,615 --> 00:54:48,583 I swear... 784 00:54:48,617 --> 00:54:50,881 I'm gonna... I will take your... 785 00:54:50,919 --> 00:54:53,479 I'm... I swear to God I'm gonna take your... 786 00:54:53,522 --> 00:54:56,355 - Aw, come on... - Don't touch me. 787 00:54:56,392 --> 00:54:58,622 Oh, okay. 788 00:55:02,331 --> 00:55:05,061 I'm done. Okay, enough. 789 00:55:17,913 --> 00:55:20,541 Hey, guys. Whoa, Big Gulps, huh? 790 00:55:20,582 --> 00:55:22,277 All right. 791 00:55:22,318 --> 00:55:24,946 Well, see you later. 792 00:55:26,889 --> 00:55:28,823 - Hey, Harry, 793 00:55:28,857 --> 00:55:30,757 I got some beef jerk... 794 00:55:35,331 --> 00:55:38,994 Some people just weren't cut out for life on the road. 795 00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:13,434 Hey! 796 00:56:13,469 --> 00:56:17,064 I was wondering when you were gonna get up. 797 00:56:17,106 --> 00:56:18,903 Ha! 798 00:56:18,941 --> 00:56:21,876 Well, how long have I been out? 799 00:56:23,045 --> 00:56:26,173 I'd say a good five hours. 800 00:56:30,753 --> 00:56:33,551 Huh! I expected the Rocky Mountains 801 00:56:33,589 --> 00:56:36,717 to be a little rockier than this. 802 00:56:36,759 --> 00:56:39,557 I was thinking the same thing. 803 00:56:39,595 --> 00:56:43,087 That John Denver's full of shit, man. 804 00:56:46,902 --> 00:56:49,132 I'm only human, Harry! 805 00:56:49,171 --> 00:56:52,607 Anybody can make a mistake. 806 00:56:52,641 --> 00:56:56,008 Come on, stop being a baby! 807 00:56:56,044 --> 00:56:58,569 So we backtracked a tad! 808 00:56:58,614 --> 00:57:00,514 A tad?! 809 00:57:00,549 --> 00:57:02,642 A tad, Lloyd? 810 00:57:02,684 --> 00:57:05,744 You drove almost 1/6 of the way 811 00:57:05,788 --> 00:57:09,121 across the country in the wrong direction! 812 00:57:10,893 --> 00:57:13,418 Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen! 813 00:57:13,462 --> 00:57:15,123 We don't have enough money to get home! 814 00:57:15,164 --> 00:57:17,655 We don't have enough money to eat! 815 00:57:17,699 --> 00:57:20,327 We don't have enough money to sleep! 816 00:57:21,603 --> 00:57:23,901 Well, it's not gonna do us any good 817 00:57:23,939 --> 00:57:25,770 to sit here whining about it. 818 00:57:25,808 --> 00:57:27,901 - We're in a hole. - 819 00:57:27,943 --> 00:57:30,411 We're just going to have to dig ourselves out. 820 00:57:31,947 --> 00:57:33,642 Okay, all right. You're right. 821 00:57:33,682 --> 00:57:35,582 You're absolutely right, Lloyd. 822 00:57:35,617 --> 00:57:37,915 - - Where're you going? 823 00:57:37,953 --> 00:57:41,650 - - Home. I'm walking home. 824 00:57:41,690 --> 00:57:46,184 Oh, well, pardon me, Mr. Perfect! 825 00:57:46,228 --> 00:57:47,991 I guess I forgot 826 00:57:48,030 --> 00:57:50,658 that you never, ever make a mistake! 827 00:58:14,656 --> 00:58:17,147 Lloyd: Harry! 828 00:58:17,192 --> 00:58:21,623 Harry! 829 00:58:21,663 --> 00:58:23,927 Harry! Wait up! 830 00:58:38,514 --> 00:58:41,483 Got room for one more if you still want to go to Aspen. 831 00:58:41,517 --> 00:58:43,644 Where did you find that? 832 00:58:43,685 --> 00:58:46,210 Some kid back in town. 833 00:58:46,255 --> 00:58:48,951 Traded the van for it straight up. 834 00:58:48,991 --> 00:58:52,154 I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog. 835 00:58:57,599 --> 00:59:00,033 You know, Lloyd, just when I think 836 00:59:00,068 --> 00:59:03,595 you couldn't possibly be any dumber, 837 00:59:03,639 --> 00:59:07,837 you go and do something like this... 838 00:59:07,876 --> 00:59:11,710 and totally redeem yourself! 839 00:59:11,747 --> 00:59:14,944 Ha ha! 840 00:59:14,983 --> 00:59:17,213 - Still wanna go to Aspen? - Oh, yeah! 841 00:59:17,252 --> 00:59:20,915 - Okay, let's go, buddy! - Super! 842 00:59:20,956 --> 00:59:23,823 - - 843 00:59:23,859 --> 00:59:27,795 - Lloyd, no! West! Go west, Lloyd! - Oh! Oh, yeah. 844 00:59:56,692 --> 00:59:59,661 - - 845 01:00:12,941 --> 01:00:15,341 I've got to... I've got to stop 846 01:00:15,377 --> 01:00:17,572 to go to the bathroom. 847 01:00:17,613 --> 01:00:20,013 Just go, man. 848 01:00:21,350 --> 01:00:23,147 Oh! 849 01:00:24,987 --> 01:00:27,217 That sure is warm. 850 01:00:34,162 --> 01:00:37,859 - - 851 01:01:28,417 --> 01:01:30,908 We're there. 852 01:01:38,393 --> 01:01:40,327 Got a little nippy 853 01:01:40,362 --> 01:01:43,331 going through the pass back there. 854 01:01:45,767 --> 01:01:48,361 Lloyd: Isn't this incredible? 855 01:01:48,403 --> 01:01:51,372 - What more could two single guys want? - How about some food? 856 01:01:51,406 --> 01:01:54,375 I swallowed a big June bug when we were driving. 857 01:01:54,409 --> 01:01:55,899 I'm not really hungry. 858 01:01:55,944 --> 01:01:57,878 Well, I'm starving. 859 01:01:57,913 --> 01:02:01,007 Ho... Jeez, look at the butt on that. 860 01:02:01,049 --> 01:02:03,108 Lloyd: Yeah. 861 01:02:03,151 --> 01:02:05,984 He must work out. 862 01:02:06,021 --> 01:02:08,080 Hey! Why don't we get busy 863 01:02:08,123 --> 01:02:09,988 and deliver the briefcase to Mary? 864 01:02:10,025 --> 01:02:11,754 If I know her as well as I think I do 865 01:02:11,793 --> 01:02:13,988 she'll invite us right in for tea and strumpets. 866 01:02:14,029 --> 01:02:16,088 Good plan. Where does she live? 867 01:02:16,131 --> 01:02:18,031 I don't know. 868 01:02:18,066 --> 01:02:20,728 What's her last name? I'll look it up. 869 01:02:20,769 --> 01:02:22,703 Uh... 870 01:02:22,738 --> 01:02:26,230 You know, I don't really recall. 871 01:02:26,274 --> 01:02:28,105 Starts with an "S." 872 01:02:28,143 --> 01:02:32,341 S-swim, Swamie, S-slippy, Slappy, 873 01:02:32,380 --> 01:02:35,042 Slimin, Solmon, Simin, Sal, 874 01:02:35,083 --> 01:02:36,243 Swenson, Swanson? 875 01:02:36,284 --> 01:02:38,081 Maybe it's on the briefcase. 876 01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:39,985 Oh, yeah! It's right here. 877 01:02:40,021 --> 01:02:42,421 Samsonite! I was way off. 878 01:02:42,457 --> 01:02:44,721 I knew it started with an "S" though. 879 01:02:46,161 --> 01:02:48,254 I'm not seeing it here, Lloyd. 880 01:02:48,296 --> 01:02:50,560 She must be unlisted. 881 01:02:53,235 --> 01:02:55,203 Great. 882 01:02:55,237 --> 01:02:57,467 So what are we supposed to do now? 883 01:03:01,042 --> 01:03:05,103 - I can't feel my fi-fingers anymore. - 884 01:03:05,147 --> 01:03:08,139 They're-they're- they're numb. 885 01:03:09,851 --> 01:03:12,979 Ooh. Maybe you should wear these extra gloves. 886 01:03:13,021 --> 01:03:15,956 My hands are starting to get sweaty. 887 01:03:15,991 --> 01:03:19,188 Extra gloves? 888 01:03:19,227 --> 01:03:21,525 You've had this pair 889 01:03:21,563 --> 01:03:24,327 of extra gloves this whole time? 890 01:03:25,967 --> 01:03:28,367 Yeah. We're in the Rockies. 891 01:03:30,972 --> 01:03:32,735 I'm going to kill you. 892 01:03:33,942 --> 01:03:36,467 - What? - I'm gonna kill you! 893 01:03:36,511 --> 01:03:39,810 - I'm gonna kill you, Lloyd! - Calm down! 894 01:03:39,848 --> 01:03:41,372 Right now, I'm gonna kill you! 895 01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:43,748 Harry, you got that crazy look in your eye! 896 01:03:45,353 --> 01:03:49,312 I know what I'm going to do. 897 01:03:49,357 --> 01:03:51,484 - What are you doing? - I'm going to do something 898 01:03:51,526 --> 01:03:54,051 I should have done a long time ago. 899 01:03:55,063 --> 01:03:56,860 Don't do anything foolish, Harry! 900 01:03:56,898 --> 01:03:59,230 What? Foolish? This isn't foolish! 901 01:03:59,267 --> 01:04:01,565 I'm going to toss this damn curse 902 01:04:01,603 --> 01:04:03,901 right into that damn pond! 903 01:04:03,939 --> 01:04:05,668 Aah! 904 01:04:07,175 --> 01:04:10,372 - I'm going to do it! - No, Harry! 905 01:04:12,314 --> 01:04:15,215 Harry! 906 01:04:15,250 --> 01:04:17,844 Your hands are freezing! 907 01:04:17,886 --> 01:04:20,286 Aah! Ugh! 908 01:04:20,322 --> 01:04:22,586 Harry, look! 909 01:04:22,624 --> 01:04:25,320 Look! Look! 910 01:04:30,098 --> 01:04:32,396 Okay, here's the plan: 911 01:04:32,434 --> 01:04:35,301 We borrow a few bucks... just a small loan from the briefcase 912 01:04:35,337 --> 01:04:38,363 - and we find some reasonable lodgings. - Good plan. 913 01:04:38,406 --> 01:04:41,102 And we'll keep track of all the money we spend with IOUs. 914 01:04:41,142 --> 01:04:43,372 We'll be meticulous, right down to the last penny. 915 01:04:43,411 --> 01:04:45,845 - Whatever we borrow, we pay back. - Absolutely. 916 01:04:45,881 --> 01:04:48,281 - We're good for it. - Our word is our bond. 917 01:04:49,985 --> 01:04:51,976 This is the Hotel Danbury 918 01:04:52,020 --> 01:04:53,988 Presidential Suite, gentlemen, 919 01:04:54,022 --> 01:04:56,013 normally reserved for royalty, 920 01:04:56,057 --> 01:04:57,854 visiting dignitaries, 921 01:04:57,893 --> 01:05:00,293 illustrious stars of stage and screen. 922 01:05:00,328 --> 01:05:03,855 We have shortly coming the Emperor and Empress of Japan, 923 01:05:03,899 --> 01:05:06,868 and of course, Princess Charles and Di when they were together 924 01:05:06,902 --> 01:05:08,893 used to frequent the hotel constantly. 925 01:05:08,937 --> 01:05:10,427 We'll take it! 926 01:05:10,472 --> 01:05:12,804 - - 927 01:05:34,329 --> 01:05:38,561 - - 928 01:05:40,068 --> 01:05:41,797 There you go. 929 01:05:43,471 --> 01:05:49,103 - There you go. - Thank you, sir. 930 01:05:49,144 --> 01:05:51,544 There you go. 931 01:05:53,448 --> 01:05:55,313 Hi. 932 01:05:57,118 --> 01:05:59,552 Narrator on TV: Rain brought them to him. 933 01:05:59,587 --> 01:06:01,452 Girl on TV: My mother was Sarah Carver. 934 01:06:01,489 --> 01:06:03,684 Narrator: Although at the time, he wasn't sure 935 01:06:03,725 --> 01:06:05,989 he wanted to accept the gift. 936 01:06:06,027 --> 01:06:08,393 Girl on TV: Nick, do you think he'll let us stay? 937 01:06:08,430 --> 01:06:10,455 Nick on TV: No, this place is ugly, anyway. 938 01:06:10,498 --> 01:06:13,592 You and me, we're a family. 939 01:06:13,635 --> 01:06:16,160 Man: I promise never to give you away. 940 01:06:16,204 --> 01:06:19,037 And no one's ever going to break us apart. 941 01:06:19,074 --> 01:06:22,237 At Pacific Bell, we believe that's pretty special. 942 01:06:22,277 --> 01:06:25,571 - Wow! Boy, this is livin', huh? - Yeah. 943 01:06:25,613 --> 01:06:28,138 - What's on next? - I don't know. 944 01:06:28,183 --> 01:06:30,413 Let me look it up. 945 01:06:30,452 --> 01:06:32,317 Ah! 946 01:06:32,354 --> 01:06:34,379 Lloyd, you okay? 947 01:06:34,422 --> 01:06:36,515 Harry, it's Mary! 948 01:06:36,558 --> 01:06:38,355 It's who? 949 01:06:38,393 --> 01:06:40,520 Mary with the briefcase. 950 01:06:40,562 --> 01:06:43,725 Mary Swanson. 951 01:06:43,765 --> 01:06:46,165 Swanson! 952 01:06:46,201 --> 01:06:49,398 - Wool hast anool... - "Host annual." 953 01:06:49,437 --> 01:06:53,134 - Host anewl... annual... - Annual. 954 01:06:53,174 --> 01:06:54,971 "Annual meeting of..." 955 01:06:55,010 --> 01:06:56,978 t-t-t-heh... 956 01:06:57,012 --> 01:06:58,536 t-he... t-he... 957 01:06:58,580 --> 01:07:00,445 - The. - Oh. 958 01:07:00,482 --> 01:07:03,542 - "The Inter..." - Yeah. It's a big one. 959 01:07:03,585 --> 01:07:06,611 "International Preservation Society tomorrow night." 960 01:07:09,557 --> 01:07:11,286 Well, come on, Cinderella. 961 01:07:11,326 --> 01:07:14,193 We've got to get you ready for the ball! 962 01:07:41,189 --> 01:07:42,713 - - 963 01:08:31,706 --> 01:08:35,403 - - 964 01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:48,385 - - 965 01:08:55,396 --> 01:08:57,762 Yeah! 966 01:09:06,674 --> 01:09:08,665 Thanks, Barn. There you go. 967 01:09:08,710 --> 01:09:10,701 Thank you, sir. 968 01:09:27,362 --> 01:09:28,886 Okay okay okay. 969 01:09:28,930 --> 01:09:30,454 - Ha! - Cripes! 970 01:09:30,498 --> 01:09:32,693 Yes! Yes! Yes! 971 01:09:36,571 --> 01:09:38,038 Agh! 972 01:09:39,407 --> 01:09:42,171 - Time out! - Okay. 973 01:09:42,210 --> 01:09:45,646 Excuse me. Gentlemen, this is a $500-a-plate dinner. 974 01:09:45,680 --> 01:09:49,172 - Good night. - Oh, 500... oh, okay. No problem. 975 01:09:49,217 --> 01:09:52,243 Here. Put us down for... put us down for four. 976 01:09:52,287 --> 01:09:54,448 In case we want seconds. 977 01:10:00,828 --> 01:10:03,353 Jesus Christ. It's them. 978 01:10:03,398 --> 01:10:04,922 - Them who? - Them, 979 01:10:04,966 --> 01:10:07,628 the guys who whacked Mental. 980 01:10:08,670 --> 01:10:10,262 Can't you just feel it, Harry? 981 01:10:10,305 --> 01:10:11,932 This is our big chance, man. 982 01:10:11,973 --> 01:10:13,736 All we gotta do 983 01:10:13,775 --> 01:10:16,243 is show a little class, a little sophistication, 984 01:10:16,277 --> 01:10:18,302 and we're in like a dirty shirt. 985 01:10:18,346 --> 01:10:20,780 That's no problem, Lloyd. We can be classy and sophistic... 986 01:10:20,815 --> 01:10:22,783 oh, look at the funbags on that hosehound. 987 01:10:22,817 --> 01:10:25,285 I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans 988 01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:27,288 and a nice bottle of Chianti. 989 01:10:29,691 --> 01:10:32,524 Come on, let's go get a couple bowls of loudmouth soup. 990 01:10:32,560 --> 01:10:34,289 Yeah. 991 01:10:34,329 --> 01:10:36,422 Hey, bartender, 992 01:10:36,464 --> 01:10:38,659 - two martinis, please. - Yes, sir. Right away. 993 01:10:38,700 --> 01:10:41,669 Nicholas: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please? 994 01:10:41,703 --> 01:10:43,796 The Aspen Preservation Society 995 01:10:43,838 --> 01:10:45,863 is the world's foremost defender 996 01:10:45,907 --> 01:10:48,899 of 23 endangered species, 997 01:10:48,943 --> 01:10:51,434 and it is with tremendous honor 998 01:10:51,479 --> 01:10:54,243 that we're able to bring Mr. Swanson forward 999 01:10:54,282 --> 01:10:56,648 to introduce us to the 24th. Everybody... 1000 01:10:56,684 --> 01:10:58,618 Karl. 1001 01:10:58,653 --> 01:11:00,814 Thank you, Nick. 1002 01:11:02,857 --> 01:11:04,791 Thank you. 1003 01:11:04,826 --> 01:11:06,623 Ladies and gentlemen, 1004 01:11:06,661 --> 01:11:09,653 I give you the Icelandic snow owl. 1005 01:11:17,338 --> 01:11:20,796 These magnificent specimens constitute one seventh 1006 01:11:20,842 --> 01:11:23,675 of the snow owl population left on the planet. 1007 01:11:23,711 --> 01:11:26,646 And God willing, with your help 1008 01:11:26,681 --> 01:11:28,740 and that of the Society's, 1009 01:11:28,783 --> 01:11:31,946 these wonderful creatures will flourish once more. 1010 01:11:31,986 --> 01:11:35,183 Thank you again and enjoy your evening. 1011 01:11:37,792 --> 01:11:40,022 Can I have some pistachios, please? 1012 01:11:41,963 --> 01:11:43,828 And another one of those. 1013 01:11:43,865 --> 01:11:46,265 Lloyd, what are you doing? Would you calm down? 1014 01:11:46,301 --> 01:11:48,769 I've never seen you so nervous. 1015 01:11:48,803 --> 01:11:52,534 Keep an eye on 'em, Shay. Keep a close eye. 1016 01:11:52,573 --> 01:11:54,734 I'm ready for a commitment, Harry. 1017 01:11:54,776 --> 01:11:57,609 The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, 1018 01:11:57,645 --> 01:12:01,308 I just got that old-fashioned romantic feeling 1019 01:12:01,349 --> 01:12:03,613 where I'd do anything to bone her. 1020 01:12:03,651 --> 01:12:05,744 That's a special feeling, Lloyd. 1021 01:12:05,787 --> 01:12:07,778 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1022 01:12:07,822 --> 01:12:10,882 Oh my, there she is. 1023 01:12:10,925 --> 01:12:13,291 Wow! You weren't kidding, Lloyd. 1024 01:12:13,328 --> 01:12:15,990 She's an angel! 1025 01:12:16,998 --> 01:12:18,761 Well, what are you waiting for? 1026 01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:21,633 Get over there and talk to her. 1027 01:12:25,473 --> 01:12:27,805 She's just going to think I'm some kind of a psycho 1028 01:12:27,842 --> 01:12:30,072 when she finds out how far I came just to see her! 1029 01:12:30,111 --> 01:12:31,976 You know what you have?! Her briefcase! 1030 01:12:32,013 --> 01:12:35,005 She's gonna be thrilled to see you. 1031 01:12:35,049 --> 01:12:38,348 Wait. I have an idea. 1032 01:12:39,620 --> 01:12:41,952 Why don't you go over 1033 01:12:41,989 --> 01:12:43,923 and introduce yourself? 1034 01:12:43,958 --> 01:12:45,926 And that way, you can build me up 1035 01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:47,928 so I won't have to brag about myself later. 1036 01:12:47,962 --> 01:12:49,896 Tell her I'm rich 1037 01:12:49,931 --> 01:12:52,399 and, uh, I'm good-looking 1038 01:12:52,433 --> 01:12:54,458 and, uh, I have a rapist wit. 1039 01:12:54,502 --> 01:12:56,561 No, I don't know. I don't think I could... no. 1040 01:12:56,604 --> 01:12:59,368 - Come on, please. - No, I'm not... 1041 01:12:59,407 --> 01:13:02,501 - Please! Please! - Okay okay okay. Stop. 1042 01:13:02,543 --> 01:13:04,443 What are you gonna do? 1043 01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:06,743 I'm going to hang by the bar, 1044 01:13:06,781 --> 01:13:10,148 - put out the vibe. - Okay. 1045 01:13:20,828 --> 01:13:23,228 Nice set of hooters you got there. 1046 01:13:25,533 --> 01:13:28,798 - I beg your pardon? - The owls, they're beautiful. 1047 01:13:30,171 --> 01:13:32,503 Oh. 1048 01:13:32,540 --> 01:13:34,508 Yeah. 1049 01:13:34,542 --> 01:13:36,476 Are you a bird lover? 1050 01:13:36,511 --> 01:13:39,002 Me? Oh, no. Well, I used to have a parakeet... 1051 01:13:39,046 --> 01:13:41,947 - Ah. ...but now my main area of expertise 1052 01:13:41,983 --> 01:13:44,474 is, uh, canines... 1053 01:13:44,519 --> 01:13:46,646 "dogs" to the layperson. 1054 01:13:47,655 --> 01:13:49,850 - Thanks. - Mm-hmm. 1055 01:13:50,858 --> 01:13:53,827 - I love dogs too. - Oh. 1056 01:13:53,861 --> 01:13:56,125 - So how are you involved with them? - Oh, you know, 1057 01:13:56,164 --> 01:13:59,133 I've trained them, bathed them, clipped them. 1058 01:13:59,167 --> 01:14:00,930 - I've even bred them. - Oh, really? 1059 01:14:00,968 --> 01:14:02,936 - Any unusual breeding? - No. 1060 01:14:02,970 --> 01:14:05,029 Mostly just doggy-style. 1061 01:14:05,072 --> 01:14:08,405 One time, we successfully mated 1062 01:14:08,443 --> 01:14:10,809 a bulldog with a shih-tzu. 1063 01:14:10,845 --> 01:14:13,746 Really? That's weird. 1064 01:14:13,781 --> 01:14:16,409 Yeah. We... we called it a bullshit. 1065 01:14:27,562 --> 01:14:29,860 Oh, I'm... anyway, the real reason 1066 01:14:29,897 --> 01:14:32,058 I came over here was to... 1067 01:14:32,099 --> 01:14:35,034 I've got to introduce you to a buddy of mine. 1068 01:14:35,069 --> 01:14:38,527 - I don't believe I've met your friend. - Oh. 1069 01:14:38,573 --> 01:14:41,064 Well, actually, we haven't been properly introduced. 1070 01:14:41,108 --> 01:14:43,872 - My name is Mary Swanson. - Hi, Harry Dunne. 1071 01:14:43,911 --> 01:14:46,641 Hi. Nice to meet you. This is my stepmother Helen. 1072 01:14:46,681 --> 01:14:48,945 Hi. Harry Dunne. Pleasure to meet you both. 1073 01:14:48,983 --> 01:14:51,178 Mm-hmm. Well, I saw you come in. 1074 01:14:51,219 --> 01:14:53,517 I was hoping I'd get a chance to meet you. 1075 01:14:53,554 --> 01:14:57,752 - You were? Really? - Yes! That tuxedo, it's fabulous! 1076 01:14:57,792 --> 01:15:00,590 Really. I love a man with a sense of humor, 1077 01:15:00,628 --> 01:15:03,495 and so does Mary. It's hysterical! 1078 01:15:03,531 --> 01:15:05,089 - Really? - Oh, yes. 1079 01:15:05,132 --> 01:15:08,124 Oh. Anyway, um, about my friend... 1080 01:15:08,169 --> 01:15:11,502 What are you doing tomorrow? I believe that Mary 1081 01:15:11,539 --> 01:15:13,200 is looking for someone to hit the slopes with. 1082 01:15:13,241 --> 01:15:14,970 She... what? Huh? 1083 01:15:15,009 --> 01:15:17,944 Helen, you're embarrassing me. 1084 01:15:17,979 --> 01:15:19,947 Well, you are. I mean, after all, 1085 01:15:19,981 --> 01:15:22,108 the snow's going to be gone in a couple of weeks. 1086 01:15:22,149 --> 01:15:24,014 And, well, this may be your last chance. 1087 01:15:24,051 --> 01:15:26,144 Poor thing, she never gets a chance to get out. 1088 01:15:26,187 --> 01:15:28,849 Well, what do you say, Mr. Dunne? Are you available? 1089 01:15:28,890 --> 01:15:31,188 Well, I don't know. See, my friend... 1090 01:15:31,225 --> 01:15:33,090 Oh, forget your friend for one day. 1091 01:15:33,127 --> 01:15:36,221 I think you kids'll have a wonderful time. What do you say? 1092 01:15:36,264 --> 01:15:38,494 Well, you know, I don't know, you know. 1093 01:15:38,533 --> 01:15:40,967 You know, the thing... part of... sure. 1094 01:15:41,002 --> 01:15:44,130 What time? Ahem... 1095 01:15:47,542 --> 01:15:50,033 How come you didn't bring her over? 1096 01:15:50,077 --> 01:15:52,045 Relax. You're golden. 1097 01:15:52,079 --> 01:15:54,513 - I got you a date with her tomorrow. - Oh. 1098 01:15:56,117 --> 01:15:58,551 - What... I... this... - Yeah. 1099 01:15:58,586 --> 01:16:00,850 - I love you, man. - Okay okay. 1100 01:16:00,888 --> 01:16:02,719 - You're kissing me. - I love you. 1101 01:16:02,757 --> 01:16:05,225 - I love you! - You're kissing me. Lloyd! 1102 01:16:07,628 --> 01:16:10,256 This calls for a little of the bubbly! 1103 01:16:10,298 --> 01:16:12,528 - You're going to be my best man, Harr. - Oh, good. 1104 01:16:12,567 --> 01:16:14,125 - I promise. - Thank you. 1105 01:16:14,168 --> 01:16:16,136 You have just earned yourself a seat 1106 01:16:16,170 --> 01:16:20,129 at the head table, pal. And we already got the tuxes. 1107 01:16:21,342 --> 01:16:23,276 - - 1108 01:16:26,981 --> 01:16:29,313 - Woman: Gracious sakes! - 1109 01:16:29,350 --> 01:16:33,013 - Man: Good grief! - Boy, this party really died. 1110 01:16:40,124 --> 01:16:45,184 Hey, maybe it was a coincidence. 1111 01:16:45,229 --> 01:16:48,687 It was a message, Shay, pure and simple. 1112 01:16:48,732 --> 01:16:50,927 I mean, we killed their bird. 1113 01:16:50,968 --> 01:16:53,994 Now they killed one of ours. 1114 01:16:55,939 --> 01:16:57,998 How could anybody whack a bird with a cork? 1115 01:16:58,041 --> 01:17:00,339 These guys aren't just anybody. 1116 01:17:00,377 --> 01:17:03,437 They're good. 1117 01:17:09,319 --> 01:17:11,651 Mary Christmas. 1118 01:17:11,688 --> 01:17:14,452 Mrs. Mary Christmas. 1119 01:17:16,026 --> 01:17:19,427 - Kinda catchy, huh, Harr? - Yeah yeah, that sounds nice. 1120 01:17:19,463 --> 01:17:22,864 But, Lloyd, don't you think you might be jumping the gun a little bit? 1121 01:17:22,900 --> 01:17:24,834 I mean, you know, who knows? 1122 01:17:24,868 --> 01:17:26,733 You know, maybe, once you get to know her 1123 01:17:26,770 --> 01:17:29,102 you'll find out that she's not your type. 1124 01:17:31,175 --> 01:17:32,938 Hey! 1125 01:17:32,976 --> 01:17:36,139 Don't you ever say that again! 1126 01:17:37,214 --> 01:17:39,205 She is the love of my life! 1127 01:17:39,249 --> 01:17:41,683 The blood in my veins! 1128 01:17:41,718 --> 01:17:43,413 We belong together... 1129 01:17:43,453 --> 01:17:45,751 till the mountains fall into the sea, 1130 01:17:45,789 --> 01:17:47,689 till the heavens collide! 1131 01:17:47,724 --> 01:17:50,318 Or until I get sick of her and need to move on. 1132 01:17:50,360 --> 01:17:53,796 - You hear me?! - Okay okay okay okay. Just calm down. 1133 01:17:53,831 --> 01:17:55,696 Just calm down. 1134 01:17:55,732 --> 01:17:58,223 Okay. 1135 01:17:58,268 --> 01:18:01,328 Now... 1136 01:18:01,371 --> 01:18:03,839 let me get this straight. 1137 01:18:03,874 --> 01:18:07,071 Lobby bar in the lobby. 1138 01:18:07,110 --> 01:18:08,873 Yeah, and that's what she said. 1139 01:18:08,912 --> 01:18:11,142 She'll meet you there at 10:00 sharp. 1140 01:18:12,216 --> 01:18:14,343 - Okay. - Okay. 1141 01:18:16,920 --> 01:18:19,150 Where're you going in that get-up? 1142 01:18:20,824 --> 01:18:22,815 Oh. I... you know, I just thought, you know, 1143 01:18:22,860 --> 01:18:24,953 when you'd be off making your love connection 1144 01:18:24,995 --> 01:18:27,293 I'd be out trying my luck on the slopes. 1145 01:18:27,331 --> 01:18:29,299 You mean you're gonna go out in public 1146 01:18:29,333 --> 01:18:31,324 dressed in tights? 1147 01:18:31,368 --> 01:18:33,302 Oh no, these aren't tights, Lloyd. 1148 01:18:33,337 --> 01:18:35,805 These are fashionable Euro-trash ski trousers. 1149 01:18:35,839 --> 01:18:38,137 Pretty revealing. 1150 01:18:39,142 --> 01:18:40,439 Really? 1151 01:18:40,477 --> 01:18:42,502 Yeah, but it's just a tiny lump. 1152 01:18:42,546 --> 01:18:44,946 No one'll notice. 1153 01:18:44,982 --> 01:18:47,542 You're right. I can't go out dressed like this. 1154 01:18:56,460 --> 01:19:03,792 - - 1155 01:19:03,834 --> 01:19:05,893 - - Hey! 1156 01:19:05,936 --> 01:19:07,460 - Coming! - 1157 01:19:09,539 --> 01:19:12,303 - - Hey! 1158 01:19:12,342 --> 01:19:15,106 Man: Nice going, buddy! 1159 01:19:20,550 --> 01:19:24,543 - - 1160 01:19:29,426 --> 01:19:32,088 - # Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon. - Ma'am. 1161 01:19:36,199 --> 01:19:38,167 Beautiful outfit, sir. 1162 01:19:38,201 --> 01:19:40,260 There you go. 1163 01:19:51,014 --> 01:19:53,812 Hey. How you doin'? 1164 01:19:53,850 --> 01:19:55,511 You're a little early. 1165 01:19:55,552 --> 01:19:58,521 We don't open for about 45 minutes. 1166 01:19:58,555 --> 01:20:00,955 I'm meeting someone here. 1167 01:20:00,991 --> 01:20:05,223 - Mind if I wait at the bar? - No. Come on in. 1168 01:20:07,631 --> 01:20:10,259 It's a beautiful day, huh, Harry? 1169 01:20:10,300 --> 01:20:14,100 Yes yes, I've had a wonderful time so far. Thank you. 1170 01:20:14,137 --> 01:20:17,072 God, it feels so good to get up here. 1171 01:20:17,107 --> 01:20:20,543 I haven't been outside that much in the last couple weeks. 1172 01:20:20,577 --> 01:20:23,011 Oh, yeah? Why not? 1173 01:20:23,046 --> 01:20:26,914 Um, there's been some family problems, 1174 01:20:26,950 --> 01:20:29,919 but I don't want to bore you with those. 1175 01:20:29,953 --> 01:20:31,944 Thanks. 1176 01:20:31,989 --> 01:20:34,423 Oh, look. Frost. 1177 01:20:37,661 --> 01:20:41,290 - Harry? 1178 01:20:43,333 --> 01:20:45,164 - Are you okay? - Oh, yeah, 1179 01:20:45,202 --> 01:20:48,399 I do this all the time. 1180 01:20:51,975 --> 01:20:54,273 Let's go to the top this time. 1181 01:21:01,218 --> 01:21:05,177 - Hi, there. - Ugh... 1182 01:21:05,222 --> 01:21:06,951 Say, kids, 1183 01:21:06,990 --> 01:21:08,890 you wouldn't happen to have 1184 01:21:08,925 --> 01:21:11,018 a cup of warm water, would you? 1185 01:21:11,061 --> 01:21:13,689 Yuck. 1186 01:21:17,434 --> 01:21:19,402 Excuse me. 1187 01:21:19,436 --> 01:21:21,631 Is it 10:00 A.M. Yet? 1188 01:21:22,639 --> 01:21:24,800 It's 1:00. 1189 01:21:27,477 --> 01:21:31,607 That's what I have too. Thought maybe it was fast. 1190 01:21:34,618 --> 01:21:37,314 She's running late, huh? 1191 01:21:37,354 --> 01:21:40,619 Just a couple hours. You know girls. 1192 01:21:40,657 --> 01:21:43,353 When they're excited about something, 1193 01:21:43,393 --> 01:21:45,725 everything has to be perfect. 1194 01:21:53,270 --> 01:21:55,329 This one's on me. 1195 01:21:57,474 --> 01:21:59,465 Yippee. 1196 01:21:59,509 --> 01:22:01,443 Chablis, please. 1197 01:22:02,446 --> 01:22:04,641 Hello. 1198 01:22:10,620 --> 01:22:12,713 Bad day, huh? 1199 01:22:13,723 --> 01:22:16,123 Me too. 1200 01:22:16,159 --> 01:22:18,024 'Course everything's been bad 1201 01:22:18,061 --> 01:22:20,291 since I broke up with my boyfriend. 1202 01:22:33,376 --> 01:22:35,810 Oh my God. 1203 01:22:39,049 --> 01:22:41,279 My God! You poor guy. Does it hurt? 1204 01:22:41,318 --> 01:22:44,219 I'm fine. I saved a seat for you. 1205 01:22:46,056 --> 01:22:47,751 Oh no, listen. This is silly. Let me help you. 1206 01:22:47,791 --> 01:22:49,691 No no no no no. 1207 01:22:49,726 --> 01:22:52,058 Yes. It'll only hurt for a moment, like a Band-Aid. 1208 01:22:52,095 --> 01:22:54,529 - Come on, ready? - No no no no. No. 1209 01:22:54,564 --> 01:22:56,395 Come on. Go. 1210 01:24:34,130 --> 01:24:36,360 Come on, come on. 1211 01:24:38,668 --> 01:24:43,128 - Pfft. 1212 01:24:43,173 --> 01:24:45,539 What am... 1213 01:24:48,912 --> 01:24:50,880 I said to myself, "Run, Beth. 1214 01:24:50,914 --> 01:24:53,678 Run for your life before this man kills you both." 1215 01:24:53,717 --> 01:24:56,379 Then do you know what the klutz did? 1216 01:24:56,419 --> 01:24:59,217 No, and I don't care! 1217 01:24:59,256 --> 01:25:02,123 I'm going to tell you, He came home one night dead drunk 1218 01:25:02,158 --> 01:25:04,217 and decided he wanted to fix the sink. 1219 01:25:04,261 --> 01:25:05,751 Couldn't believe him. 1220 01:25:05,795 --> 01:25:08,229 Anyway, enough about me. Let's talk about you. 1221 01:25:08,265 --> 01:25:10,495 - How come you're here? - Bartender! 1222 01:25:10,533 --> 01:25:12,728 Yeah? 1223 01:25:12,769 --> 01:25:16,637 You wouldn't happen to know a Mary Swanson, would you? 1224 01:25:16,673 --> 01:25:19,506 Mary Swanson? Yeah. 1225 01:25:19,542 --> 01:25:22,306 She comes in here all the time. 1226 01:25:22,345 --> 01:25:24,176 What's that supposed to mean? 1227 01:25:24,214 --> 01:25:25,647 She has dinner. 1228 01:25:25,682 --> 01:25:29,778 Oh. I'm sorry. 1229 01:25:32,188 --> 01:25:33,678 Uh... 1230 01:25:33,723 --> 01:25:37,591 you know where she lives? 1231 01:25:37,627 --> 01:25:41,654 Yeah, her family has the big place up on Alpine Drive. 1232 01:25:41,698 --> 01:25:44,826 Alpine Drive? Big place? 1233 01:25:52,575 --> 01:25:54,907 No way! 1234 01:25:56,513 --> 01:25:58,572 That's great! 1235 01:25:58,615 --> 01:26:00,981 We landed on the moon! 1236 01:26:07,691 --> 01:26:09,682 I've gotta tell you, 1237 01:26:09,726 --> 01:26:12,354 today was just what I needed. Thanks a lot, Harry. 1238 01:26:12,395 --> 01:26:15,193 Blell, blit blas... 1239 01:26:15,231 --> 01:26:17,722 it was my pleasure, Mary. 1240 01:26:17,767 --> 01:26:20,702 So you'll pick me up tonight at 7:45? 1241 01:26:20,737 --> 01:26:22,568 Well, no, I've got a few things 1242 01:26:22,605 --> 01:26:24,232 to take care of first. 1243 01:26:24,274 --> 01:26:25,935 Why don't we make it quarter to 8:00? 1244 01:26:25,975 --> 01:26:30,241 Stop it! 1245 01:26:30,280 --> 01:26:32,874 Okay 7:45. 1246 01:26:34,351 --> 01:26:37,184 Bye. 1247 01:27:21,564 --> 01:27:23,555 Doesn't make any sense, Lloyd. 1248 01:27:23,600 --> 01:27:25,363 She told me 10:00 sharp! 1249 01:27:25,402 --> 01:27:27,734 Are you sure you went to the right bar? 1250 01:27:27,771 --> 01:27:31,639 Oh, yeah. Yep. I'm pretty sure. 1251 01:27:31,674 --> 01:27:34,837 Lobby bar. Right in the lobby. 1252 01:27:34,878 --> 01:27:38,006 Ahh... well... 1253 01:27:38,047 --> 01:27:40,845 maybe she just had a change of heart. 1254 01:27:40,884 --> 01:27:44,320 Oh, that pisses me off! That pisses me right off! 1255 01:27:44,354 --> 01:27:46,345 I hate when women do that, you know? 1256 01:27:46,389 --> 01:27:48,050 She wanted to see you again! 1257 01:27:48,091 --> 01:27:49,956 She told me that! And now no? 1258 01:27:49,993 --> 01:27:52,894 Now... wait a minute! Wait! 1259 01:27:52,929 --> 01:27:55,864 She must have meant 10:00 at night. 1260 01:27:55,899 --> 01:27:58,424 Do you think? 1261 01:27:58,468 --> 01:28:02,461 Why would she have you meet her at a bar at 10:00 in the morning? 1262 01:28:02,505 --> 01:28:04,666 I just figured she was a raging alcoholic. 1263 01:28:10,413 --> 01:28:12,677 - Oh, that's th... - And all this time, 1264 01:28:12,715 --> 01:28:16,617 I've been going through such pain and personal anguish. 1265 01:28:16,653 --> 01:28:19,713 Such hell! For nothing! 1266 01:28:19,756 --> 01:28:21,553 Oh, God. That's funny. 1267 01:28:21,591 --> 01:28:23,923 Oh, that's good stuff. Oh, boy. 1268 01:28:23,960 --> 01:28:26,690 Well, listen, looks like you got your night planned, 1269 01:28:26,729 --> 01:28:29,027 so I'm just going to head out and catch a flick. 1270 01:28:29,065 --> 01:28:30,726 Okay. 1271 01:28:32,735 --> 01:28:35,101 10:00 in the morning. 1272 01:28:51,821 --> 01:28:54,449 Hey, Harry, old buddy, old pal! 1273 01:28:54,491 --> 01:28:56,118 Yeah? 1274 01:28:56,159 --> 01:28:59,617 Will you join me in a good-luck toast before you head out? 1275 01:28:59,662 --> 01:29:03,063 Oh, sure thing. Whatever you think will help your chances. 1276 01:29:03,099 --> 01:29:05,465 Yes, sirree. 1277 01:29:05,502 --> 01:29:07,766 You know why I like you, Harry? 1278 01:29:07,804 --> 01:29:10,034 Because you're a regular guy. 1279 01:29:11,474 --> 01:29:14,875 Yep, that's why I want you to stay regular. 1280 01:29:16,012 --> 01:29:20,813 1/2 teaspoon for fast, effective relief. 1281 01:29:36,165 --> 01:29:38,565 Mmm! 1282 01:29:41,504 --> 01:29:45,600 To my friend Harry... the matchmaker. 1283 01:29:45,642 --> 01:29:49,100 Oh, get out of here. I'm... I've... 1284 01:29:51,915 --> 01:29:53,849 Mmm. 1285 01:29:53,883 --> 01:29:56,716 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1286 01:29:56,753 --> 01:29:59,221 Mmm. 1287 01:30:15,505 --> 01:30:18,269 Mary: Hi, the door's open. Come on upstairs. 1288 01:30:23,546 --> 01:30:24,979 - Hi. - hi. 1289 01:30:25,014 --> 01:30:26,641 Hi, make yourself at home, okay? 1290 01:30:26,683 --> 01:30:28,150 I'm almost ready. One minute? 1291 01:30:28,184 --> 01:30:30,709 - Okay, sounds good. - Okay. 1292 01:31:54,170 --> 01:31:56,934 Mary: Harry, are you in there? 1293 01:31:56,973 --> 01:31:58,964 Be right out! 1294 01:31:59,008 --> 01:32:02,774 I hope you're not using the toilet. It's broken. 1295 01:32:05,915 --> 01:32:09,612 - Huh? - The toilet doesn't flush. 1296 01:32:09,652 --> 01:32:11,847 No, I was just shaving. 1297 01:32:11,888 --> 01:32:14,083 Shaving? 1298 01:32:14,123 --> 01:32:16,648 Yeah, I was running a little late. 1299 01:32:16,693 --> 01:32:19,161 I thought this would save some time. 1300 01:32:21,164 --> 01:32:25,396 Okay well, I'll be in the kitchen whenever you're ready. 1301 01:32:27,970 --> 01:32:30,632 Oh, Jeez! 1302 01:32:30,673 --> 01:32:34,401 - - 1303 01:32:45,888 --> 01:32:47,719 Tomorrow on "A Current Affair," 1304 01:32:47,757 --> 01:32:50,317 inside the home of the Menendez brothers' attorney. 1305 01:32:50,359 --> 01:32:52,589 And next, we'll be back in a minute 1306 01:32:52,628 --> 01:32:57,031 with the heartbreaking story of the blind Rhode Island boy 1307 01:32:57,066 --> 01:33:00,001 who was duped into buying a dead parakeet. 1308 01:33:00,036 --> 01:33:03,199 I just thought he was real quiet. 1309 01:33:07,944 --> 01:33:09,673 Who are these sick people? 1310 01:33:14,784 --> 01:33:16,843 - Hi! - Hi. 1311 01:33:16,886 --> 01:33:18,945 Yes? 1312 01:33:18,988 --> 01:33:20,683 Remember me? 1313 01:33:21,691 --> 01:33:24,922 Uh... not really. 1314 01:33:24,961 --> 01:33:28,920 Providen... Providence. 1315 01:33:28,965 --> 01:33:30,990 I drove you to the airport last week. 1316 01:33:31,033 --> 01:33:32,898 Oh my God! 1317 01:33:32,935 --> 01:33:35,665 Uh... Lloyd, right? 1318 01:33:35,705 --> 01:33:39,266 You remembered my name. 1319 01:33:39,308 --> 01:33:41,708 What are you doing in Aspen? 1320 01:33:41,744 --> 01:33:43,336 I brought you your briefcase. 1321 01:33:43,379 --> 01:33:47,110 You left it at the airport, you big goof! 1322 01:33:47,150 --> 01:33:49,983 - You have my briefcase? - Yeah. 1323 01:33:50,019 --> 01:33:52,146 Hey, I have it at my hotel room. 1324 01:33:52,188 --> 01:33:54,850 You want to jump on the bike with me? We can go get it 1325 01:33:54,891 --> 01:33:58,349 unless... unless you're busy. 1326 01:33:58,394 --> 01:34:00,328 Oh, no no no! No no! 1327 01:34:00,363 --> 01:34:02,228 - I don't wanna... - You just wait right here. 1328 01:34:02,265 --> 01:34:03,960 - Okay. - Okay? 1329 01:34:08,805 --> 01:34:11,296 Come on, flush, you bastard! 1330 01:34:14,911 --> 01:34:17,243 Mary: Harry, what are you doing in there? 1331 01:34:17,280 --> 01:34:22,650 - I'm just... I'm cleaning my teeth! - 1332 01:34:35,965 --> 01:34:37,626 I'm cleaning my teeth. 1333 01:34:39,101 --> 01:34:41,262 I'm gargling. 1334 01:34:41,304 --> 01:34:43,966 Just give me a minute, Mary. I'll be right with you. 1335 01:34:44,006 --> 01:34:46,304 Harry, I'm sorry, but something important's come up, 1336 01:34:46,342 --> 01:34:48,242 and I've got to run out. 1337 01:34:48,277 --> 01:34:51,110 It's-it's sort of an emergency. I'll explain later. 1338 01:34:51,147 --> 01:34:54,776 - But, Mary... - I'm sorry. I've really got to go. 1339 01:34:54,817 --> 01:34:57,149 I promise we'll do this again sometime. 1340 01:35:08,431 --> 01:35:10,763 Race you to the top. 1341 01:35:12,435 --> 01:35:15,427 - Come here. - Agh! 1342 01:35:18,241 --> 01:35:21,768 Yeah! Ha ha! 1343 01:35:22,945 --> 01:35:24,469 I won! 1344 01:35:24,513 --> 01:35:27,277 Look familiar? 1345 01:35:27,316 --> 01:35:29,216 I don't believe it. You really have it. 1346 01:35:29,252 --> 01:35:31,049 Of course, I have it. 1347 01:35:31,087 --> 01:35:33,351 When Lloyd Christmas drives a woman to the airport, 1348 01:35:33,389 --> 01:35:35,152 he makes sure she gets all her luggage. 1349 01:35:35,191 --> 01:35:38,217 - That's my whole philosophy. - This is incredible. 1350 01:35:38,261 --> 01:35:41,025 You mean to say you drove 2,000 miles 1351 01:35:41,063 --> 01:35:43,497 just for me? 1352 01:35:43,532 --> 01:35:48,595 Uh... I didn't really have a lot to do. 1353 01:35:50,006 --> 01:35:51,871 And I know how frustrating it can be 1354 01:35:51,908 --> 01:35:54,001 to lose a bag. 1355 01:35:54,043 --> 01:35:57,206 That is so sweet, Lloyd. 1356 01:36:11,594 --> 01:36:14,893 Look, Mary, I know this may seem a little sudden, 1357 01:36:14,931 --> 01:36:17,024 but I've given it a lot of thought. 1358 01:36:17,066 --> 01:36:20,194 You're the woman I've been waiting for my whole life, 1359 01:36:20,236 --> 01:36:21,999 and I'm not ashamed to admit it. 1360 01:36:22,038 --> 01:36:26,168 Please... Let me finish. 1361 01:36:26,208 --> 01:36:29,507 I'm crazy about you. 1362 01:36:29,545 --> 01:36:32,412 I've never felt this way about anybody. 1363 01:36:32,448 --> 01:36:35,178 Listen to me. 1364 01:36:35,217 --> 01:36:38,209 I feel like a schoolboy again, 1365 01:36:38,254 --> 01:36:41,018 a schoolboy who desperately wants 1366 01:36:41,057 --> 01:36:43,787 to make sweet sweet love to you. 1367 01:36:53,202 --> 01:36:56,831 Oh, I thought I heard you talking to someone. 1368 01:36:59,041 --> 01:37:02,841 Mary, I- I... 1369 01:37:07,950 --> 01:37:11,351 I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy. 1370 01:37:12,588 --> 01:37:15,421 - Maybe I should be going. - No no... 1371 01:37:17,360 --> 01:37:20,329 No, I... that's not what I meant. 1372 01:37:23,332 --> 01:37:28,235 Um... what I meant was, um... 1373 01:37:30,373 --> 01:37:32,273 God. 1374 01:37:32,308 --> 01:37:35,300 I-I like you, Mary. 1375 01:37:37,680 --> 01:37:41,309 I like you a lot. 1376 01:37:42,618 --> 01:37:47,248 I want to ask you a question straight out, flat out, 1377 01:37:47,289 --> 01:37:49,621 and I want you to give me an honest answer. 1378 01:37:49,658 --> 01:37:52,092 What do you think the chances are 1379 01:37:52,128 --> 01:37:56,189 of a guy like you and a girl like me... 1380 01:37:57,633 --> 01:37:59,931 ending up together? 1381 01:37:59,969 --> 01:38:02,301 Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. 1382 01:38:02,338 --> 01:38:05,034 We really don't... 1383 01:38:05,107 --> 01:38:07,667 Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! 1384 01:38:07,710 --> 01:38:09,940 I came a long way just to see you, Mary. 1385 01:38:09,979 --> 01:38:12,504 Just... the least you can do is level with me. 1386 01:38:12,548 --> 01:38:14,948 What are my chances? 1387 01:38:14,984 --> 01:38:17,509 Not good. 1388 01:38:21,490 --> 01:38:25,984 You mean not good, like one out of 100? 1389 01:38:26,028 --> 01:38:30,397 I'd say more like one out of a million. 1390 01:38:35,704 --> 01:38:39,572 So you're telling me there's a chance! 1391 01:38:41,710 --> 01:38:43,803 Yeah! 1392 01:38:45,414 --> 01:38:47,382 I read you. 1393 01:38:54,423 --> 01:38:57,392 Hi. We have plenty of towels. Thanks. 1394 01:38:57,426 --> 01:39:00,259 Nicholas! What are you doing here? 1395 01:39:00,296 --> 01:39:01,991 I've been looking for you, Mary. 1396 01:39:02,031 --> 01:39:04,022 I have some news about your husband. 1397 01:39:05,267 --> 01:39:08,634 Husband?! Wait a minute! 1398 01:39:10,239 --> 01:39:14,005 What was all that one-in-a-million talk? 1399 01:39:14,043 --> 01:39:16,841 Aren't you going to invite me in? 1400 01:39:21,817 --> 01:39:25,514 Beth: Hey, Harry, you never called! 1401 01:39:25,554 --> 01:39:27,488 What are you doing here? 1402 01:39:31,494 --> 01:39:34,588 Excuse me, gunman, who are you? 1403 01:39:34,630 --> 01:39:36,655 Don't play dumb with me, asshole! 1404 01:39:36,699 --> 01:39:39,566 I'm the rightful owner of that briefcase you've been carrying around! 1405 01:39:39,602 --> 01:39:41,729 Oh. Well, then... 1406 01:39:41,770 --> 01:39:45,797 Nicholas, my family trusted you. 1407 01:39:45,841 --> 01:39:48,036 Shut up! 1408 01:39:48,077 --> 01:39:52,070 Listen, Mr. Samsonite, about the briefcase... 1409 01:39:52,114 --> 01:39:54,139 my friend Harry and I have every intention 1410 01:39:54,183 --> 01:39:56,743 - of fully reimbursing you. - What? 1411 01:39:56,785 --> 01:40:00,312 You open it up. Open it up! 1412 01:40:00,356 --> 01:40:03,189 Go ahead, open it up. Do what he says. 1413 01:40:03,225 --> 01:40:04,988 Hurry. 1414 01:40:09,865 --> 01:40:12,356 What is this? What is this? 1415 01:40:12,401 --> 01:40:14,096 Where's all the money? 1416 01:40:14,136 --> 01:40:17,071 That's as good as money, sir. 1417 01:40:17,106 --> 01:40:19,597 Those are IOUs. Go ahead and add it up. 1418 01:40:19,642 --> 01:40:21,576 Every cent's accounted for. 1419 01:40:21,610 --> 01:40:24,545 Look. See this? 1420 01:40:24,580 --> 01:40:26,844 That's a car. 275 thou. 1421 01:40:26,882 --> 01:40:29,043 Might want to hang on to that one. 1422 01:40:32,855 --> 01:40:35,881 You're a dead man. You're a dead man! 1423 01:40:40,863 --> 01:40:43,798 Lloyd, I'm home! 1424 01:40:43,832 --> 01:40:47,131 Look, we've got to have a serious talk. 1425 01:40:47,169 --> 01:40:48,693 I got a confession to make. 1426 01:40:48,737 --> 01:40:50,568 Oh, good. You found her. 1427 01:40:50,606 --> 01:40:52,164 I'll leave you two alone. 1428 01:40:52,208 --> 01:40:54,403 No. Stay. 1429 01:40:55,411 --> 01:40:57,379 Ugh! 1430 01:41:00,849 --> 01:41:03,841 Yes, I'd like a one-way ticket to Amsterdam 1431 01:41:03,886 --> 01:41:06,582 departing as soon as possible, please. 1432 01:41:06,622 --> 01:41:09,216 How do you guys know each other? 1433 01:41:09,258 --> 01:41:11,192 We used to be best friends. 1434 01:41:11,227 --> 01:41:13,195 Yeah, until he turned into a backstabber. 1435 01:41:13,229 --> 01:41:16,255 Me a backstabber? You got a lot of nerve. 1436 01:41:16,298 --> 01:41:18,129 You knew I was crazy about her! 1437 01:41:18,167 --> 01:41:20,465 And you knew I was crazy about Fraida Felcher, 1438 01:41:20,502 --> 01:41:23,903 - and that didn't stop you, did it? 1439 01:41:23,939 --> 01:41:26,237 - What do you mean? - What do you mean? 1440 01:41:26,275 --> 01:41:28,175 Don't deny it, Lloyd. 1441 01:41:28,210 --> 01:41:31,475 Fraida told me the whole sleazy story, Mr. French Tickler. 1442 01:41:34,350 --> 01:41:36,875 Okay, what time does it... what time does that leave? 1443 01:41:36,919 --> 01:41:38,887 Thank you... wait a second. 1444 01:41:38,921 --> 01:41:40,855 Can I have a vegetarian meal? 1445 01:41:40,889 --> 01:41:43,289 I guess we both learned a little something 1446 01:41:43,325 --> 01:41:45,793 - about each other today, didn't we? - Yeah, you said it, pal. 1447 01:41:45,828 --> 01:41:47,489 Maybe we're not as good of friends as we thought we were. 1448 01:41:47,529 --> 01:41:48,461 I guess not. 1449 01:41:48,497 --> 01:41:51,364 I mean, if one beautiful girl can rip us apart like this, 1450 01:41:51,400 --> 01:41:53,391 then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn. 1451 01:41:53,435 --> 01:41:54,868 Maybe we should call it quits right now. 1452 01:41:54,903 --> 01:41:56,871 You just tell me where to sign, bud. 1453 01:41:56,905 --> 01:41:58,896 Right on my ass after you kiss it! 1454 01:41:58,941 --> 01:42:00,533 Kiss it?! You kiss mine! 1455 01:42:00,576 --> 01:42:02,737 Both cheeks, both lips, right here! 1456 01:42:02,778 --> 01:42:06,737 - Put it right... - Shut up! 1457 01:42:08,751 --> 01:42:11,481 Now, which one of you losers wants to get it first? 1458 01:42:12,955 --> 01:42:15,515 Over here... 1459 01:42:15,557 --> 01:42:17,957 I was the one that got you into this whole mess. 1460 01:42:17,993 --> 01:42:20,291 Come on and shoot me. 1461 01:42:20,329 --> 01:42:23,355 No! Wait! Wait. No no, do me first. 1462 01:42:23,399 --> 01:42:25,492 I stole your girl, Lloyd. I deserve it. 1463 01:42:25,534 --> 01:42:26,967 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. 1464 01:42:27,002 --> 01:42:29,197 - No, you don't... - Yes, I do! 1465 01:42:29,238 --> 01:42:31,604 Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. 1466 01:42:31,640 --> 01:42:35,770 Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg. 1467 01:42:35,811 --> 01:42:38,177 Okay, kill him! 1468 01:42:44,653 --> 01:42:47,053 Oh! Oh, no! 1469 01:42:48,524 --> 01:42:51,789 You killed my best friend, you bastard! 1470 01:42:51,827 --> 01:42:53,454 If it's any consolation, 1471 01:42:53,495 --> 01:42:55,656 you're about to be reunited. 1472 01:43:01,770 --> 01:43:05,672 Harry! You're alive! 1473 01:43:05,708 --> 01:43:08,404 And you're a horrible shot. 1474 01:43:08,444 --> 01:43:10,503 Lucky me. 1475 01:43:10,546 --> 01:43:13,014 Police! Open up! Nobody move! 1476 01:43:13,048 --> 01:43:16,415 Everybody freeze! Get those hands up! 1477 01:43:16,452 --> 01:43:17,942 Not you, dummy! 1478 01:43:17,986 --> 01:43:19,544 Man: Get the gun. 1479 01:43:19,588 --> 01:43:22,284 Special Officer Beth Jordan, FBI. 1480 01:43:22,324 --> 01:43:23,882 Hey! Who? But... huh? 1481 01:43:23,926 --> 01:43:25,860 Mr. Dunne, thank you very much. 1482 01:43:25,894 --> 01:43:28,863 We couldn't have done it without you. 1483 01:43:28,897 --> 01:43:30,421 We've been following you guys 1484 01:43:30,466 --> 01:43:31,797 all the way from Providence. 1485 01:43:31,834 --> 01:43:33,631 What's going on, Harry? 1486 01:43:33,669 --> 01:43:36,968 Your name is Harry, isn't it? 1487 01:43:37,005 --> 01:43:40,532 Yeah, she-she grabbed me down the lobby, explained what was up. 1488 01:43:40,576 --> 01:43:42,669 Then they slapped this bulletproof vest on me 1489 01:43:42,711 --> 01:43:44,838 and gave me a gun. 1490 01:43:46,615 --> 01:43:48,981 But what if he shot you in the face? 1491 01:43:50,052 --> 01:43:52,452 What if he shot me in the face? 1492 01:43:52,488 --> 01:43:54,786 That's a risk we were willing to take. 1493 01:43:54,823 --> 01:43:56,688 How come I didn't get a gun? 1494 01:43:56,725 --> 01:43:58,989 Did you get a gun? 1495 01:44:26,989 --> 01:44:28,889 You were right, Lloyd. 1496 01:44:28,924 --> 01:44:30,983 She was definitely worth the trip. 1497 01:44:31,026 --> 01:44:35,554 Yeah. She's something, ain't she, Harr? 1498 01:44:35,597 --> 01:44:37,462 I'm glad we were able to help her out. 1499 01:44:47,376 --> 01:44:49,105 - Honey! - Easy easy. 1500 01:44:49,144 --> 01:44:51,510 - You're okay. - Okay, I'm just a little sore. 1501 01:44:51,547 --> 01:44:54,414 I'm sorry. Oh, sweetie. 1502 01:44:54,450 --> 01:44:56,714 Oh, baby, I missed your loving. 1503 01:44:56,752 --> 01:44:59,016 Honey, there's someone I want to introduce you to. 1504 01:44:59,054 --> 01:45:01,488 He's the kindest, gentlest man I've ever met. 1505 01:45:01,523 --> 01:45:03,354 - Will you meet him? - Sure. 1506 01:45:03,392 --> 01:45:05,758 He's got a gun! 1507 01:45:08,464 --> 01:45:11,365 Mary: Lloyd? Lloyd! 1508 01:45:11,400 --> 01:45:13,368 Huh? 1509 01:45:13,402 --> 01:45:16,496 I said this is my husband Bobby. 1510 01:45:16,538 --> 01:45:19,530 - Oh. Hi, Bobby. - Hi. 1511 01:45:19,575 --> 01:45:24,069 - I'm so happy for you. - Thank you. 1512 01:45:24,112 --> 01:45:26,945 Thank you both very much. 1513 01:45:26,982 --> 01:45:30,577 I owe you both a debt of gratitude. 1514 01:45:30,619 --> 01:45:32,382 Thank you. 1515 01:45:51,473 --> 01:45:53,941 I can't believe this, Lloyd. 1516 01:45:53,976 --> 01:45:55,876 First Mary dumps us, 1517 01:45:55,911 --> 01:45:57,845 then the cops take our nest egg. 1518 01:45:57,880 --> 01:45:59,973 - Then our hog breaks down. - Yeah! 1519 01:46:00,015 --> 01:46:03,143 When are we ever gonna catch a break? 1520 01:46:16,698 --> 01:46:20,634 - Hi, y'all. 1521 01:46:20,669 --> 01:46:22,830 Hi, guys! We're going on a national bikini tour, 1522 01:46:22,871 --> 01:46:24,600 and we're looking for two oil boys 1523 01:46:24,640 --> 01:46:27,006 who can grease us up before each competition. 1524 01:46:31,213 --> 01:46:33,738 You are in luck! 1525 01:46:33,782 --> 01:46:37,047 There's a town about three miles that way. 1526 01:46:37,085 --> 01:46:39,349 I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there. 1527 01:46:42,090 --> 01:46:44,615 Okay. Thanks. 1528 01:46:44,660 --> 01:46:46,753 Bye! 1529 01:46:53,869 --> 01:46:56,497 Do you realize what you've done? 1530 01:46:56,538 --> 01:47:00,167 - Hey! - Lloyd! 1531 01:47:00,208 --> 01:47:02,870 Lloyd! 1532 01:47:10,586 --> 01:47:12,884 You'll have to excuse my friend. 1533 01:47:12,921 --> 01:47:15,890 He's a little slow. 1534 01:47:15,924 --> 01:47:19,018 The town is back that way. 1535 01:47:28,670 --> 01:47:30,194 Wow. 1536 01:47:30,238 --> 01:47:32,138 Two lucky guys 1537 01:47:32,174 --> 01:47:34,267 are gonna be driving around with those girls 1538 01:47:34,309 --> 01:47:36,174 for the next couple of months. 1539 01:47:36,211 --> 01:47:38,873 Yeah, don't worry. 1540 01:47:38,914 --> 01:47:40,745 We'll catch our break too. 1541 01:47:40,782 --> 01:47:44,274 - Just gotta keep our eyes open. - Yeah. 1542 01:47:47,222 --> 01:47:49,918 - You're it. - You're it. 1543 01:47:49,958 --> 01:47:51,687 You're it. Quitsies. 1544 01:47:51,727 --> 01:47:53,695 You're it. Anti-quitsies, double-stamp. 1545 01:47:53,729 --> 01:47:56,254 You're it. Anti-quitsies, triple-stamp. 1546 01:47:56,298 --> 01:47:58,289 - No erasies, none at all. - You can't triple-stamp. 1547 01:47:58,333 --> 01:48:00,563 Yes, if you have a double-stamp, of course you can. 1548 01:48:00,602 --> 01:48:02,160 - You can't triple-stamp! 1549 01:48:02,204 --> 01:48:04,172 You can't if you have a double-stamp! 1550 01:48:04,206 --> 01:48:05,969 You can't triple-stamp... the rule! 1551 01:48:06,008 --> 01:48:09,967 You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp, Lloyd! 1552 01:48:10,012 --> 01:48:12,845 Lloyd! Lloyd! 1553 01:49:39,000 --> 01:49:42,026 # So what do you want of me? 1554 01:49:59,454 --> 01:50:01,752 - - 1555 01:50:05,160 --> 01:50:07,526 - - 1556 01:50:33,355 --> 01:50:35,687 - - 1557 01:50:39,027 --> 01:50:41,257 - - 1558 01:50:44,733 --> 01:50:47,327 - - 109421

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