Original subtitles

[sniffles, exhales]

[sniffling]

[whimpers]

[sighs]

[door closes]

[♪ "Dedicated To You" playing]

[sighs]

You can't be here.

Lois, please, come sit.

Please.

Redd, will you come out and sit as well?

She's making her famous, uh, Cincinnati chili and lavender lemonade.

We-We weren't sure where you were with your sobriety, but... So we have options.

- Cincinnati what? - Chili. It's, um...

The secret is cinnamon and unsweetened chocolate, yes?

And Worcestershire sauce.

And, of course, mild cheddar. Sharp doesn't melt right.

- Good? Great! - Good.

What the fuck is this freak show?

Come, come, come. Come sit. I'll make you something.

Now, please, just hear me out.

Admittedly, we have screwed up a lot.

We haven't been guardians of our good fortune,

such as the miracle of your recovery.

There's so much good, so much worth holding on to.

[inhales sharply] Like?

Cheers, honey.

A structure, a foundation, a history.

Merritt may well be finding happiness of, uh, of some sort.

But I think she still needs us. She needs a united front.

Let's follow the example of the young.

Let's all live together.

Marshall, are you insane?

- We've served each other divorce papers. - Nothing is final yet.

You said you hated me. [scoffs]

So, what? Me, you, and the gourmet madame,

we all going to share the same bed, or what?

Oh, well, no. Uh, no, that's... that's not exactly...

- I'm not... Not that I'm not fluid. - No, no.

That part of us... [chuckles] That part of us, you and I, is over.

[Marshall, Redd laugh]

Marshall thinks that he and I should move into the guest room

and you should stay where you are.

And you all right with this?

Well, I did live in a commune... [laughs] ...for a couple of months in the 1980s

and, well, none of us are getting any younger.

No spring chickens here. [laughs]

And I do like cooking for a crowd.

The old ways don't work anymore. There must be new paradigms.

I love you. I do not hate you.

One says things in life, but family...

Ed, your affair with Ed, everything we've done to each other...

Fuck.

Don't tell me I am still in a coma, and I'm dreaming. Am I?

[Marshall chuckles] No.

[continues chuckling]

You gaslit me for years.

Let me be clear, Marshall.

I intend to move forward with this divorce smoothly and efficiently.

I don't want to love or hate you.

I just want to be at peace with what you are.

But, Lois, we have an opportunity to do something deep,

- something... something better. - [shushes]

Marshall, I told you she wouldn't go for this.

You know, women our age, we can't forgive these things.

Please, Lois.

[sighs] I need both of you so badly.

Accountability is everything.

Please...

Just... Jesus.

Go. Just go.

[door slams]

How the fuck did I end up in this terrible desert town?

- What? - I mean, it offers nothing.

Nothing!

I mean, there's no... there's no decent, proper movie theater.

There's... If you want a bagel, good luck.

And there's not even a decent florist.

[stammers] I thought you liked silence.

I hate it!

What's that about?

And I think I hate you too a little bit. You know, just to be perfectly frank.

Yeah. God.

Yeah. I suppose this is the moment that I tell you. Yeah.

Tell me?

I know.

I know.

I know it now because I suspected. And I found out.

Why did you seduce me if you didn't really want me?

What are you talking about?

Oh! Oh, stop!

[scoffs]

"Oh, what are you talking about?"

[laughs]

One of the women came to see me.

And she'd spoken to several other faculty wives.

Yeah. I do hope you find some way of, you know, addressing this compulsion.

- Fucking in... - You should know. I fight it.

For many, many years I believed in a moral code.

- [scoffs] - No, but we now know

that such a thing does not matter.

[stammers] So now you just take whatever you want?

But hear me. Hear me. Hear.

This plan that you just presented to Lois,

I only went along with it for one reason.

Which is?

I knew she'd turn you down.

And I wanted to be present for your final humiliation.

[Redd gasps]

Oh, geez. I've gotta get to the club. I've gotta get those girls in shape.

Their pasties keep falling off and I don't think it's an accident.

I have so much love to share. I love you.

- I love my wife. - I know.

But...

I'll give you till the end of the week, and then I want you gone.

It'll be like you never happened.

Kind of a bad dream...

which is meant to be forgotten.

[Marshall] But maybe the management of our terror has been unequal to the task!

Like during the end of days of the Roman Empire,

we too face insurmountable obstacles,

internal decay, and external pressure.

And economically...

Economically growing inequality and instability.

Rome used slave labor. Well, we do too.

Really. Does that sound familiar?

See, they too had environmental collapse.

Rome's moral decline is just like today's.

We-We see it all around us.

We see it all around us. No moral coherence or consequences.

Add to that cyber warfare

and the cascade of global conflicts we insist on meddling in.

And ladies and gentlemen, welcome to ancient Rome.

[door closes]

And, uh...

just like Rome...

we still cling to our...

outmoded modes of how to be.

Our small gods, our prayers...

the very ways we manage our terror.

They did no good in ancient Rome and they do no good here today.

It's every...

every man for themselves.

Thank you, class. That... That's it for today.

I-I need this space.

I need to talk to these fine officers that have come here today.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[students murmuring]

[Chief] Professor.

Hi.

Hello, Chief. What can I do for you?

Professor, a student of yours, Mary Colsby,

has made a very serious charge against you.

Against me?

Sexual assault. Is this Ms. Colsby?

Y-Yes. Yes.

[stammers]

Gale, look. Ms. Colsby and I had a relationship.

It was as consenting adults.

There was no assault, much less a rape.

And we even parted on-on good terms.

[chuckles] This is not true.

She has a very different account,

and we have to ask you to come downtown with us.

Am... Am I under arrest?

Marshall, I am not cuffing you.

I'm not making a spectacle, but you are in custody, yes.

[stammers] Wha...

Wh-What about my work?

My-My teaching, my-my job?

Wh-What's going to happen to me?

If the past is any indication, you'll be fired.

What about my word? What... My... Don't I have a say in the-the...

- I'm going to fight this. - You'll have the chance to.

I-I will. This is... This is just another instance of

a black man being strung up on the word of a woman.

No, no. Look, look, look.

The texts. The texts. Look, look.

Listen. "Marshall, I'm glad we can remain friends.

You did the right thing, and you were gracious and kind in doing it.

It makes me love you more."

Does-Does that sound like something you'd send to a rapist?

Look, here's... Look.

"Marshall, I'm free between classes. Do you want to meet for coffee?"

Does that... Or-Or, "Marshall, I need your advice

on which modern history professor you like. Is Hartley okay?"

And yet we have her account, and the DA decided to go ahead.

And I tend to believe women in these matters.

[Marshall] Megan.

[Megan] I am sorry.

[Marshall] Megan...

It's addiction, isn't it?

Addiction? S-Stop. Wait.

You-You have these pathologies

that you don't have the slightest understanding of what you're saying.

[stammers] Everyone's an amateur shrink these days.

You cannot continue to destroy people's lives in this manner.

Megan, is there something you can do?

[stammers]

How many times have you dined at our house?

Meg-Megan.

Marshall, call your lawyer.

We're gonna print you and we're gonna take a picture,

and you'll be home by dinner.

[police radio chatter]

You're being released on your own recognizance.

I suggest you find some sort of help. You need it.

[Marshall] It makes no sense to pretend to be

some ancient stoic, enduring what comes,

when all my choices have led me to this dark wood.

It makes no sense to try and salvage the marriage, the career.

The stain of my mistakes cannot be expunged.

Like the woman in the play who said "Out, damned spot".

When a man of my generation, color, is marked,

the expulsion from the world of the living is all that is left.

I might be remembered for some small bit of good, I hope.

I love so many people, so much.

How it hurts to disappoint them.

I suppose this is the last proof that I am indeed still,

for a few minutes at least, still a member of the human race.

[clock ticking]

[ticking fades, ends]

[Marshall] Am I dead?

- [Redd] Well, let's see. - [heart monitor beeping]

No.

[inhales sharply] Trazodone and Ambien can of course do the trick,

but in a man your size, with a full stomach...

Luckily, you were low on your prescriptions.

I found you.

They pumped your stomach, and...

yeah, here we are.

Was it a cry for help?

Or a real attempt?

Nothing has changed between us, Marshall.

I know about the arrest.

How?

This is not a large city.

Your daughter's here. I called her.

[Marshall groans]

I don't want to see her.

Oh, what you want is beside the point.

You've made your position clear.

Sometimes I think it's brave to leave.

It's no achievement to stay if you hate this party.

But it's also terribly cowardly at the same time.

My understanding of philosophy made me accept

the nothingness that is to come.

Which you would have poured all over your daughter,

drenched her in it, you selfish man.

And now, you've taken away everyone's choice.

We can only be angry and grateful, and angry and grateful, until we are not.

[Redd sniffles]

I'll give you a few days to get your things and get out.

[footsteps fading]

I don't... have anything left to say...

other than...

I apologize...

from what's left of myself.

[footsteps approach]

The so-called self.

Dad, listen to me.

Just listen.

You are the only father that I have.

But you make it really hard for me to still want to know you.

But I... I do.

I don't know how to turn off loving you.

I don't want to see a world without you in it.

I have so much life to come. Like, so much.

Children, pain, love...

Fear.

A crazy mother.

Please, please, try to think of a time that's gonna be better than this moment.

It's possible.

It's possible. Maybe better.

I don't... I don't know if I... I don't know if I can.

Maybe this moment is the best I can hope for.

Well, then, so be it.

That has to be enough.

I love you so much.

[phone buzzes]

[typing]

What is this, Ed?

Just come with me, Marshall.

I joined a group. A men's group that helped me.

What, uh, what happened to the mullet?

I had to face some hard truths.

I cut it. All part of cleaning up my act.

What kind of group is this exactly?

Is it religious?

No. Support and brotherhood.

Because we all got one thing in common.

And that is?

Let me ask you a question. Are you an angry man?

Have I sensed that before?

My anger...

[chuckles] It is my salvation.

[doors open]

[door slams]

[computerized voice] Gentlemen, tonight is special.

A new friend is among us.

One who is lost.

It is our duty to show him the way.

We cannot be afraid of offending people.

That is the price of honesty.

And tonight, we will invite our new friend to have an honest conversation.

[droplets dripping, echoing]

[computerized voice] Hello, Ed.

And hello, professor.

You get used to the mustiness of the space.

I am Dr. Milton Smythe.

Ed has spoken often of you.

We've chosen to interview you so we all can get to know you.

Sit, gentlemen, so we can complete the circle of truths.

Welcome to the Mexicali Men's Club.

[buzzing]

Professor, the, uh... The new pronouns,

how do you feel about them?

Yes. Your question about the new pronouns...

I have many students who are trying to define and explore their identities.

Um...

We have discussions,

and I do ask them what pronouns they like to use,

but, you know, I will admit, I'm getting confused

trying to keep up with the variants,

- such as Xe, X-Xem... - [attendant 1] Mm-hmm.

Xyr. You know, but I get it. You know...

[booing]

[Eddie] Hey, shut the fuck up. How about we have some decency?

It is confusing,

but it costs absolutely nothing to respect those who don't follow your norms.

So if you can't get on board with that, then just shut it.

Now, Marshall,

how do you see the role of men in the culture shifting?

There's a revolution.

A correction.

And some of these are too drastic.

Uh, witch hunts. Men being accused of, and convicted

without evidence.

Like you?

Men and boys being marginalized,

and now men who point them out

are perceived as predatory and-and dangerous.

[chair clatters]

As a result of all these accusations,

we're becoming the defensive gender,

second-guessing our nature to the degree that is cancerous,

as though strong men are frightening.

But I think...

I think weak men are much more dangerous.

- [attendant 2] Yeah! - [attendant 3] Yeah!

[attendant 4] Yeah!

Yes.

Yes.

Strength is everything.

I mean, I remember working at that mall,

wearing that damn Cinnabon outfit all up and down those halls.

I couldn't even take it off on my break.

You guys have no idea.

My lowest moment, even though I was the night manager,

was when I would walk by women

and they would laugh in my face like I was nothing.

I was just trying to make a living.

That crushed me.

I had to learn not to just be angry, you know.

Because the stronger path...

and I learned this with the men in this room...

was to find success and rigor.

And that is hard.

It is.

It is.

Marshall,

you were recently me-tooed and canceled,

and... and I believe,

and I know the founders of this group believe...

[door closes]

...that you can't just erase people who make mistakes.

So how do we move forward?

I am...

frankly struggling with this.

I am angry

that a consensual affair

between adults was used to hurt me.

And I'm...

I'm now sullied, and my name is...

Has been destroyed.

And that sucks.

Damaged at the very least.

But it's now up to me to reclaim it somehow

and not shy away from the fight to seek truth

and insist on what is right.

We're folding.

Did you know that men die of suicide in far greater numbers than women?

And I'm going to admit right now

that I recently attempted suicide.

[attendants murmur]

Wh-Where does it end?

Perhaps the issue is

that we need to return to a much more traditional model for society.

[cheering]

Ho, ho, ho.

Uh, yes, sir. You have something to add?

[computerized voice] A return to individual responsibility,

the importance of hierarchy

and order.

Correct?

Yes.

Yes, I believe that a way to return to those principles

is through consequences.

Many of the men in this room have said,

given everything that's going on around us,

the crime, the lawlessness,

- the divisive culture... - Mmm.

...that it feels like we're living in a goddamn horror movie.

[attendant 5] That's right.

Am I right?

Have you ever felt that?

Perhaps it's time to find the bogeyman

and slaughter it,

so that it never again rises out of the lake

or out of the fog

or never again tries to take what is ours.

I think I speak for all of us.

Welcome to the Mexicali Men's Club, Professor.

[applause]

We would love for you to join us as we seek a way out of this nightmare.

[applause continues]

Please stand to be acknowledged.

[applause, cheering]

[applause, cheering continue]

[no audible dialogue]

Maybe she heard about my dad and decided to do it to herself too.

But she called me on her way here. She checked herself in.

- She said she was scared. - Yes. That's what Admissions said.

Well, I tried to see her, but she doesn't want to see me or anyone. Just you.

Merritt, how are you? Both parents in extreme crisis.

This is a lot to handle.

Dr. Witticomb, I'm okay.

I just need you to figure out what's happening to her. Please.

I think I'm dead.

Really dead.

[Dr. Witticomb] Literally dead?

You're the only person I trust to confirm it.

The nurses let me see my blood pressure and my pulse,

but I didn't believe it.

What happened, Lois?

It all came together. A shock.

The world is not real.

And I've crossed over.

I thought about cutting my carotid with a pair of poultry shears.

But you didn't.

So that's good.

What started it?

I realized I never really woke up from that coma.

Did I?

I am in some other world.

The other world?

And you think I'm not real either? I've accompanied you here?

Maybe to take you back?

You are very much alive. Listen to me.

There's a neuropsychiatric condition,

Cotard's syndrome,

and what it is, is you just simply think you're dead,

or your organs are putrefying, or the world is an illusion,

but mostly you're dead.

It is a reaction to going through too much to bear.

Listen. Stay with me. What triggered it?

The first thing...

It was... I couldn't believe it.

Marshall asked me

to be a part of some sort of ménage with him and his girlfriend.

Utterly surreal.

I'm very fluid.

But it's the new paradigm.

The man I knew would have never done that. Nor would Redd.

It's the other world.

A kind of hell made up of sick jokes so elaborate...

[scoffs]

...nothing living could construct them.

And what else? What else made you think you were dead?

My doctor.

Dr. Charles Mayhew.

[chuckles]

He was having orgies in my room.

- [moaning] - [Lois] I could hear it.

I even saw some of it through the curtains around my bed,

like flashes of a nightmare.

My doctor, a supposed man of virtue,

was also an agent of chaos.

So I confronted him.

Having sex parties?

These are exactly the kinds of tricks that our mind plays on us

when we emerge from these coma states.

There are many different hallucinatory electrical storms that can occur.

I mean, certainly you don't actually believe that I'm having orgies in here?

Yes, I fuckin' do.

I do believe it. Mm-hmm.

You know why? Because you are not who or what you say you are.

- It's some sort of demonic rite... - I really wish that you understood

how even the suggestion of impropriety

would not be good for me in this day and age.

Even if nobody believed you,

which, for the record, they won't.

Nobody will. They simply won't.

I fucking saved your life.

I know what I heard.

I heard it.

Mmm.

I also recall, in my coma state,

a story about a young girl

who got impregnated against her will

while she was unconscious.

- You did that, didn't you? You did it. - Um...

So, fuck you. And I never did any of those vile things.

In fact, I'm the one who saved your life. Um...

God, I feel so fucking sorry for your husband.

You're an impossible woman. You're insufferable,

and you're so judgmental of him and me and I'm assuming all men.

You are corrosive to your fucking core, Lois.

Multiple times, your husband came up to me,

and he said something to the effect of,

"Hey, you know, just between you and me, couldn't you accidentally bump the switch,

turn off the machine that's keeping her alive

and send the old vegetable up to heaven?"

I always thought the guy was fucking with me,

but now I realize that he was so insistent on wanting you to fucking die

because you are such a massive fucking bitch.

I see now very clearly that you would not have ascended into heaven,

but, rather, descended into hell,

because it is a place that you create for yourself

every day and every hour

with your arrogance and your confident false superiority.

It is a hell of your own making in which you burn yourself

and everyone else who you come into contact with.

This is not the real world.

This is the other world.

And I... I am dead.

And he's right.

I created this hell I am in somehow.

Lois, I promise you, this is temporary.

Please trust me.

Tell me, what else convinced you you were in the other world?

The only reason I can confess

is 'cause I'm dead.

I killed someone.

A terrible man. Beating women.

Megan. The one who has my job. Her man.

In cold blood.

An execution really.

- [gunshot] - [body thuds]

[Dr. Witticomb] Where's the body, Lois? Did you dispose of it?

See? See, this is what I'm saying. This is where it gets strange. And odd.

Okay, I left the scene. I told Megan I would take care of it,

'cause I needed to get my head together. I needed to get supplies and stuff.

- Supplies? - Yes. Um, shovel, trash bag, lime.

I wasn't in my right mind.

I was so stunned, I lost track of time.

I don't even know how long I had been driving.

And then I got my shit together, and I said, "No. No, no, no.

You are not going to cover this up," because this was self-defense.

This was a bad man. Another bad man.

I said, "Let me get my shit together and go back and face what I have done."

And?

Megan was gone. The body was gone.

The entire room was scrubbed clean.

No body, no crime.

And I'm thinking, "The cleaners have been here, and they covered all this up."

The cleaners?

People who specialize in the art of the cover-up.

Erasing traces of blood, viscera, brain smear, what have you.

- [Dr. Witticomb] Such as? - The best one I know in the vicinity

is Glorious McKall. I mean, she's... she was an acquaintance.

So what did you do?

I went silent.

I went deep.

I followed Megan in my car, and guess what I found.

- [Dr. Witticomb] Hmm? - [Lois] Proof.

And I confronted her ass.

What are you looking at?

I got you, you sneaky bitch. Oh, yes.

Lois, what's going on? You seem...

Unhinged? Ding, ding, ding.

I killed him to help you out.

Then you move the body, you cleaned up my mess,

and you don't say anything?

Glorious McKall would do that.

She would take her victims and grind them up and feed them to her hogs.

Is that what you had her do?

Lois, sit down.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I saw you with her.

- With who? - Glorious McKall.

I saw you talking to her, getting her to clean up my mess.

What I want to know is why you didn't say anything. Why?

Lois, I did meet with Glorious... to help her.

A member of her crew was having a fentanyl moment.

She was very emotional about it. This man was like her son.

I've known her for several cases, so I met with her. I offered resources.

That's what you saw.

Where's the body?

Where's your man?

- My man? - Justin.

I haven't seen him in weeks. I don't know.

Lois, listen to me.

You're messed up.

You need help.

Let me help you.

She said I needed sleep, care.

As if I could accept that anymore.

[chuckles]

In that moment, the chaos and the madness,

it all flashed together,

and I realized...

I have crossed over.

I...

I'm in the place

that you go to in the afterlife,

and I'm being forced to live in my sorrow,

my misdeeds and my wreckage.

This...

This is my hell I am forced to live in,

and you... you are just a clever demon,

who is sent to torture me with comfort.

Lois,

that's not true.

I care about you, your well-being,

and I think you know that to be true.

And then there's the final reason

that I have a hard time accepting

that I'm back in any kind of literal reality.

It's the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle.

The piece right in the center, connected to everything else?

That's the middle piece. Goes in the center. It connects everything.

You don't miss a detail, do you?

There was a quintuple homicide, all under one roof.

A whole family.

The mother. The father. The baby.

The damn pot on the stove.

Just like my dream. It happened.

Where did it happen? Was it local?

I didn't read about it in the news or online.

Media blackout. Procedure.

Lois, what are you getting at?

A copycat killer,

who copied my dreams.

And the only person who could have done that

has access to my files.

You know what the fuck I'm getting at.

[chuckles]

Lois,

you're a singular and unique case.

The interviews we did following your emergence from the coma state,

these recordings, they are immensely valuable resources

to those in neuroscience, neurocognition, philosophy.

I told you this when we began. You signed. Your entire family signed waivers

giving us permission to record and document this process

and share them internally for scientific research purposes.

How many people, Doctor,

have access to my file?

- Who? - Hundreds.

- How many people? - Your daughter, for one.

A medical professional with access to the medi platform.

Anybody who has access to your computer or your passwords.

Your husband could be a suspect. We could write an exhaustive list.

But there's another more likely suspect, no?

Someone...

Somebody who knows these grotesqueries better than anyone.

You.

You just said moments ago that you murdered a man

in cold blood, execution-style.

We are talking about a person that killed a baby.

You think I'm capable of that?

Let's examine this like a detective, rationally, scientifically, logically.

You recount losing time, disassociating, seeing things that aren't there.

You spent years denying how sick your job made you.

I've seen your cases.

A woman in a world of crime and killers trying, almost by herself,

to manifest justice all alone?

Is not that the motive of grotesquerie?

Is he not a machination of your own mind?

Didn't you murder that...

Stop.

I am still in it.

I am still in a coma.

Stuck in an endless circle.

There is established wisdom in my field:

"Do not tell a delusional person they are living in a delusion."

But I'm gonna level with you, Lois.

I don't think you murdered that family.

I don't think there was a quintuple murder.

You are awake. The world is real.

But you are hearing and seeing things that are not.

If it's all in my head, why all the religious imagery?

Because you convinced yourself you're the last good person in the world,

a cross between a saint, a crusader, a holy warrior, a prophet,

when all you are... all you were...

in reality, is a small-town detective in a very, very dark time.

I'm gonna go to my room now.

Thank you.

[door buzzing]

[buzzing stops]

[keys jingling]

[door unlocks]

[Megan sobs]

[crying]

[footsteps approaching]

[Chief Megan] Again, I need to apologize for falling apart back there

where you were getting care.

And I hate myself for coming to you and asking for help

when you're clearly in the middle of a mental health crisis.

Then why did you?

When they called me to this crime scene...

Sorry. It's a lot. It's worse for me

even than the recent family murder with remains in a boiling pot.

Worse how?

- It's... - I've been here before.

It's bigger. It's more calculated.

It's immense in its scope. Beyond me, I think.

And because I know some of these people slaughtered.

Lois.

You...

You know some of them too.

I'm done.

I'm done.

Lois. Lois. Please. We need you.

I need you.

None of this is real anyway.

Lois, it is real. It is real.

I promise.

What's here is-is evil.

Do I believe in the devil? No, I do not.

What I believe is here today...

These astounding murders by Grotesquerie

have been created by someone who understands

that fear is what the devils who walk amongst us,

the mortal devils we all know, created so we could stay in line.

You are not dead.

You are not dead.

You here, right now.

I promise you. I promise. I promise this is real.

You did shoot my boyfriend.

I did call Glorious McKall to get rid of the body.

That happened.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Why did you lie to me?

Because I had to protect you from my mistake.

[Lois sighs]

[Chief Megan] Please.

[Lois sighs deeply]

Show me.

[door opens, closes]

The Jesus figure, he...

he touched me.

My heart.

He moved you?

He literally touched my heart with defibrillator paddles.

Shocked me back to life

from a very dark sleep.

Or so I thought.

Who are the rest of these people? Homeless?

Unhoused.

I was only able to identify one other person, someone I knew vaguely.

Mary Colsby.

Who is she?

[Chief Megan] She was many things.

Most recently, the woman who accused your husband, Marshall, of assault.

[sighs]

My God.

All right, people.

Bag every piece of evidence.

Print every surface.

Do your jobs, and do them well.

Meet me in my old office in one hour.

You're gonna help us?

Who else is gonna solve this case, Jack? Her?

Lois, that's unkind and fucking unnecessary.

And it's also the goddamn truth.

And we need to start telling each other the truth, huh?

Jack, I know who did this.

One hour.