Original subtitles

- Whoa! - Damn, Buddy, slow down!

What are you, trying to kill us?

Sorry, I didn't see that one. Caught me by surprise.

Holy God, where are you guys?

We're almost there, just hang on.

How's it going out there, Bryce? Are y'all winning?

- It's not goin' great. - Hurry!

Oh, my God. Buddy, you gotta go faster.

Bryce, it's Stever.

Backup is inbound, ETA 40 seconds.

Hang tight and stay alive.

I'm sorry, who?

I-it's Stever. You know, St-Stever the Cleaver.

Did I say that you could touch my comms?

N-no, bu-but...

Then don't touch my comms, Stever.

- Yes, ma'am. - Here we go!

Well, I hate to say it...

- but this is kinda... - Beautiful.

- Yeah. - Except for all the dead people.

There, there, there. I see them!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go! What are you doing?

- We're here to fight. - No, no, no, you're here to rescue us.

We can't fight that.

- Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! - Ahh, dammit.

Go, get outta here.

I'll buy you some time.

Uh, okay.

Bye!

Alright, ugly.

Ready to get butchered?

No!

Dad? Dad?

Dad?

Why won't your big ass just die?

Are you okay? Dad?

What? No, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Iris, we need to talk.

Jesus, you can't even have a goddamn conversation!

Buddy, drive faster!

The yelling is not helping.

Hold on.

Jesus, what happened to you guys?

I did. Boone controlled me.

I couldn't stop it. I couldn't!

Have we lost him?

Decidedly no.

Okay, bullets and grenades are not cuttin' it.

We need a new plan.

Buddy's Body Burner!

Buddy's Body Burner?

Buddy's Body Burner!

- Patent pending. - Huh?

Yeah, we use it to clean crime scenes. It's incredible.

It eats through anything organic.

Bryce, I gotta tell you,

it's really nice having your daughter on the team.

Aw, thanks, Buddy. I love you, man.

Ah, no, she's not on the team.

She's going to college and gettin' a real job.

Buddy, tell me how to make the formula!

Okay, well, step one, you go to college for chemistry,

and you learn about chemistry for years and years...

Are you serious, you fuckin' nerd?

- Tell me the formula! - I can't explain it while I'm driving.

Kid, can you drive? I don't care, take the wheel.

Um, okay, okay.

- Learn how to drive! - Learn how to drive!

I moved to New York so that I didn't have to!

Didn't your mom teach you how to drive stick?

Oh, don't even start with that.

Nice work, Monkey.

Here, hang a left on 26th.

- No, not here, 26th! - 26th is a one-way.

It's the apocalypse! One-ways don't matter!

Exactly, so what's the big deal?

Because look!

Oh, God.

What do I do, what do I do?

- Punch it. - I... They're people!

They're already dead, hon. Don't think, just do.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

I'm so sorry. Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

I don't want to alarm, but the van is on fire.

I'm okay.

Oh, no, fire.

Bad Boone!

No!

Oh, shit.

Hang on, Buddy!

Ooh, that thing is ugly.

How the hell are we gonna beat this guy?

Special delivery!

Whoo, now that's what I'm talking about!

Did you guys practice that?

Oh, shit.

Look out!

Buddy, don't just lie there. Come on, push.

Iris. You know what you have to do, kid.

I... No, I am not leaving you.

No, how did you get that? Don't leave me, God.

Well, then, what are you... Like, what are you trying to say?

Goddamn.

Come get your medicine, you big bitch.

Patent pending, motherfucker.

Stop complaining and just die!

Ah, he's right! Aim for those weird-ass relic shards!

Keep shooting. It's working!

Oh, shit.

Iris!

Come on, you big ball sack!

Ahhupppa!

Hey, man, you need a hand?

Alright, let's hope this does something. Pull!

Dad? Hello?

What the fuck is goin' on?

Where's Boone? I don't know. Maybe we killed him.

He's weakened.

Fuck you!

Okay, he's definitely weaker.

Maybe every shard we take will have an effect.

What the hell?

Wait, where are we?

Or rather, when are we?

Oh, hell, that's not good.

Monkey?

- Dad? - Where the hell did they go?

Okay, dude, get down, get down!

Monkey, they've been dead for hundreds of years.

Just focus on Boone!

You see, Monkey,

what humans do to each other when given the chance?

This is all humans are able to accomplish.

No, no, ignore him.

It's just more of his bullshit doomsday crap.

Oh, Lord, I don't wanna die.

- Mommy. - Oh, God.

We can travel to any time since their dawn

and all you will find is pain and misery.

Hold on a second. Is he controlling this ride?

Are you not convinced, Monkey?

Then how about this?

How about what humans inflict on animals?

How about what they did to you, Monkey?

Huh?

You're not so different from us.

Born of pain, set apart from the rest.

I've seen your mind.

This is where you came from.

Even if you have no memory of it yourself.

Meet your real family, Monkey.

Your first family.

It's okay, I'm here to help.

But I can only take the little one.

Hurry up, we don't have much time!

Shh, you're safe with me.

Everything's going to be alright, you'll see.

Oh, no.

No! No! No!

You see, Monkey?

This is why you were different.

Why you were never able to fit in with your tribe.

You're cursed by man's wickedness.

You've never belonged, and you never will.

I've seen your soul, Monkey.

You won't kill me.

I know it.

Yeah.

But I will.

- Dad! - Wait a minute. Hold on, kid.

I think he's dead now.

Somebody wanna put a mirror under his nose?

I think I need a hospital.

Man, ain't no damn hospitals.

Well, then let's break into a bar,

then a hospital when they open.

Monkey, I, um, I know you and Boone had a connection

and for it to all turn so badly, I-I'm sorry, man.

But look, humanity is more than he showed you, okay?

It's not about death. It's about living.

And we don't live forever, so we gotta make the most of it.

Yeah, yeah, no, you're right.

We'll talk later though, okay?

Hey, honey, um, we have something we need to talk about.

Can we just not have this conversation

and pretend nothing bad's about to happen?

Well, I'm afraid not. I... You know, I wish I could,

but I'm not the one in charge right now.

Look, I'm going away, okay?

But I-I've figured out a plan, okay? I...

I'm gonna go ghost when I have two minutes left,

so you, um, you won't see me anymore,

but I'll be here.

I'll always be here. I promise.

I'll be watching over you.

Even if you can't hear me or see me, I'll, I'll still be with you.

Well, that sounds kind of creepy.

Okay, not all the time, but I'll be here.

Monkey will be able to see me.

So, you know, maybe he can pass a few messages to you.

I'm gonna save my last two minutes for the big moments.

- You know, like weddings. - Hey, come on.

I mean, no pressure, you know.

O-or grandkids, if...

Oh, Jesus.

I know, I know.

Just whatever the big moments happen to be.

I'll appear for a few seconds and, you know,

we'll get to share 'em together, okay?

I'm never leaving you again.

Oh, Dad.

What the fuck is that?

- This bitch. - Iris, watch out!

Iris! No, no, no, no, no!

No!

Oh, shit!

Shit.

Fight me, goddamn you! Fight me!

Well, Bryce, the clock's almost run out.

Moment of truth.

Time for me to claim my payment.

What are you talking about?

Leave us alone. We won!

It's true. You really fucked everything up.

I would've gotten literally eight billion souls in a single day.

I would've been invincible.

Fight me, you animal!

Fine, then I'll just go after the people you care about.

Bryce,

he loves his daughter more than anything in this world.

And you love Bryce.

So I'm going to take her instead.

I told you I'd want something in return.

I'm here to claim what's mine.

Oh, shit, oh, shit.

Iris.

Dad!

Ah! Get outta the way!

You can't shield her forever, Bryce.

He's right. I can't stay in human form for much longer, babe.

- When my clock hits zero... - It's okay.

We almost made it, didn't we?

You're cursed by man's wickedness.

You've never belonged...

and you never will.

Monkey!

Oh, my God!

Dad, are you okay?

Oh, Monkey.

Well, well, well, I did not see that one coming.

Don't strain yourselves.

They're dead.

And now it's time to claim my prize.

Please don't do this, okay? Please don't take Iris.

Oh, I'm not taking your daughter.

I only wanted her to punish you.

Besides, I couldn't even if I wanted to.

She's not dead.

But lucky for me, I have another option.

Monkey will fit nicely into my plans.

I need soldiers.

And who doesn't want someone who can kill their own family?

Consider your debt paid.

Consider our business transaction complete.

What, no. Hold on, I don't understand.

I thought I was coming with you.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You're human again.

You have your miserable life back, Bryce,

and all that you had to do was trade your best friend.

Wait, no, no, don't do this.

Your hell is here.

Wait, what?

You're kiddin' me.

Wow, look at you.

What the hell took you so long?