Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:01:00,000
Created By Khaled-Klz.
2
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:42,406
This is Zero One Alpha.
We have secured Falcon.
3
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:45,613
I say again,
we have secured Falcon.
4
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,246
By the time I count to ten...
5
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,549
you will have told me
exactly what I need to know.
6
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:51,956
If not...
7
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:56,050
the number ten will be the
last thing you will ever hear.
8
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,091
One
9
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:58,055
Two
10
00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:58,726
Three
11
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:00,226
Four
12
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:01,631
Five
13
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:02,665
Six
14
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:03,799
Seven
15
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:04,558
Eight
16
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,400
Grenade!
Sir, get back!
17
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,084
Shit.
18
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,281
Fucking missed it.
19
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,918
How did I fucking miss it?
20
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:32,692
Merlin, I apologize for putting
you in this position.
21
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,423
You trained him well.
22
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:36,958
James...
23
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:41,204
training is over.
24
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,464
Welcome to Kingsman.
25
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,273
Lancelot.
26
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,434
Sir.
27
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:54,777
I'll deal with this mess personally.
28
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,954
L very much regret that your husband's
bravery can't be publicly celebrated.
29
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,387
I hope you understand.
30
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,053
How can I understand?
31
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,221
You won't tell me anything.
32
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,625
I didn't even know
he wasn't with his squad.
33
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:12,964
I'm so sorry,
I can't say more.
34
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,470
But I would like to present you
with this Medal of Valor...
35
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:20,976
and if you look closely on the back,
there's a number.
36
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,837
And as a more concrete gesture
of our gratitude...
37
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,915
we'd like to offer you...
38
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,479
Let's call it a favor.
39
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,144
The nature of it is your choice.
40
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,653
Just tell the operator...
41
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:35,524
"oxfords not brogues,
and then I'll know it's you.
42
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:39,520
I don't want your help!
43
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:42,098
I want my husband back!
44
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,102
What's your name,
young man?
45
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:52,540
Eggs?
46
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,109
Hello, Eggsy
47
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:56,547
Can I see that?
48
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,289
You take care of this, Eggsy.
49
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:07,690
All right?
50
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,221
And take care of your mum, too.
51
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:57,735
So sorry, Professor Arnold.
Just a tiny bit more.
52
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,401
For God's sakes,
just rip it off.
53
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:04,105
I'm under very strict instructions
not to hurt you.
54
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,512
Look, you've made a mistake.
55
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:09,449
I'm a university lecturer.
I've got no money.
56
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,088
This isn't about money.
57
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,190
Our boss just wants to talk to you.
58
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,289
Am I meant to find that reassuring?
59
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,587
He'll be here soon,
He'll explain.
60
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,356
Do you like whiskey?
61
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,763
Red, get the '62 Dalmore.
62
00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:28,129
Honestly,
this whiskey, it's amazing.
63
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,270
You will shit.
64
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,957
I suppose asking to borrow
a cup of sugar is a step too far?
65
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:19,813
Professor Arnold,
I'm hereto take you home.
66
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,433
1962 Dalmore.
67
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,702
It'd be a sin to spill any.
68
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,839
Don't you think?
69
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,717
Can you hold these?
Please?
70
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:34,898
Thank you.
71
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:43,574
Everything is clean.
72
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:52,079
My kind of welcome.
73
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,585
No stomach for violence.
74
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,659
L mean, literally,
I see one drop of blood...
75
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,763
that is me done.
76
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,091
I'm like...
77
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:08,596
projectile.
78
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,928
Listen, I'm so sorry...
79
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:16,473
you had to witness all this unpleasantness
due to our uninvited guest.
80
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:20,771
But I promise you, by the time
I've found out who he works for...
81
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:25,280
you and I will be the best of friends.
82
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,882
To the shop, please.
83
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,375
Arthur's in the dining room, sir.
84
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,020
Arthur.
85
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,388
Galahad.
86
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:16,259
The others were beginning to wonder
if we were going to have a double toast.
87
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:22,940
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to
say it's been 17 years...
88
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,508
since we last had occasion
to use this decanter.
89
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:30,781
Lancelot was an outstanding agent,
and a true Kingsman.
90
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,382
He will be sorely missed.
91
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,912
To Lancelot.
92
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,415
To Lancelot.
93
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:46,454
I intend to start the selection process
for Lancelots replacement tomorrow.
94
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,199
I want each of you
to propose a candidate...
95
00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,699
and have them report to UK HQ...
96
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:54,030
no later than 9 p.m. GMT.
97
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:55,469
Thank you.
98
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:58,873
Merlin.
99
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,537
Come in.
100
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,574
Lancelot was investigating
a group of mercenaries...
101
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,445
who were experimenting
with biological weaponry.
102
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,608
Glasses, gentlemen, please.
103
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,621
Uganda' 2012.
104
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,282
Synthetic cathinones.
105
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,895
They put it in the water supply
of a guerrilla army base.
106
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:22,295
Rage, cannibalism,
multiple fatalities.
107
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,125
Chechnya, 2013.
108
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,096
Insurgents turned on one another.
109
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:31,003
Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries,
but no trace of any chemicals of any kind.
110
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,268
So what happened to Lancelot?
111
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,270
He tracked them to this property
in Argentina.
112
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,777
While he had them
under surveillance...
113
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:39,780
he became aware
they'd effected a kidnapping.
114
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:44,612
So he executed a solo rescue mission,
which failed.
115
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,980
This is his last transmission.
116
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,519
- Who is he?
- Some climate change doomsayer.
117
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,186
Expounds something
called "Gaia theory...
118
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,128
about the world healing itself,
or some such.
119
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:59,168
But what's curious,
is he's not actually missing.
120
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,970
This is Professor Arnold...
121
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,165
at Imperial College this morning.
122
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,006
It's all yours.
123
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,476
And don't forget
your membership proposal.
124
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,708
Try picking a more suitable
candidate this time.
125
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,783
17 years and still...
126
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:18,548
evolving with the times remains
an entirely foreign concept to you.
127
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:21,816
Need I remind you, l wouldn't be here
if it weren't for that young man?
128
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:24,552
He was as much Kingsman
material as any of them.
129
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:25,957
More so.
130
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:29,123
But he wasn't exactly
one of us, was he?
131
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:33,496
Let's face it, Galahad,
your little experiment failed.
132
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:37,698
With respect, Arthur,
you're a snob.
133
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,968
"With respect?
134
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,339
The world is changing.
135
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:46,507
There's a reason why aristocrats
developed weak chins.
136
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:05,999
Eggsy?
137
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,201
Eggsy, come here.
138
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,206
- Got any Rizla, babe?
- No.
139
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,405
Why don't you do your mum a favor,
go down to the shop and get some?
140
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,878
- Get them yourself.
- Oi.
141
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:21,712
What have I said to you
about speaking to Dean like that?
142
00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:25,344
Three's a crowd, innit?
Why don't Dean's poodle go?
143
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:26,956
I'll tell you what.
144
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,888
Why don't you take this,
go and get some Rizlas...
145
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,891
get yourself some sweets?
And while you're gone...
146
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:34,955
we'll show your mother
how three can be good company.
147
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:38,399
Thanks, babe.
148
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,973
There we go.
149
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:50,140
Is that better?
150
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,329
If Dean treats your mum so bad,
why doesn't she leave him?
151
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,467
Low self-esteem,
That's her problem.
152
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,397
Fuck off.
Why would she have low self-esteem?
153
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:13,400
Eggsy's mum is well fit.
154
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,899
- No offense' bruv.
- lt's all right.
155
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,140
One of these days,
I'm gonna smash his face in.
156
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,744
Are you mental, cause?
157
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:23,574
He'd just get that lot to do you,
and then pretend he knew nothing--
158
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:26,948
about it it.
159
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,783
You think you can chat shit about us
and we won't do nothing...
160
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,081
just because our guvnor's
banging Eggsy's mum?
161
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,088
Pretty much, yeah.
162
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,420
Bruv, just leave it,
Let's just go, man.
163
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:37,492
It's not worth it.
164
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,256
You boys have outstayed your welcome.
165
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:41,428
Leave.
166
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,324
What?
167
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:46,934
I'm sorry about that, bruv.
168
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:50,804
Yeah.
169
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,132
Mug.
170
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,440
They weren't fucking worth it, boys.
171
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,781
It's freezing,
Why are we walking?
172
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,783
You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv?
173
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:05,445
Yeah. Now,
we're gonna nick his car.
174
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,453
Shit!
175
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:14,821
Hold on, boys.
176
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,030
Hey, that's my fucking car!
177
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,468
Hey! Hey! Eggsy!
178
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,664
I swear, you want to fucking stop it!
179
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,367
You're a fucking dead man!
Stop it!
180
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,303
I'm gonna fucking have ya!
181
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:36,977
Floor n, Eggsy!
182
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:37,985
Floor it!
183
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:40,085
Wanker!
184
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:43,416
Yeah, Dean,
Look, it's me.
185
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,585
Eggsy just stole my fucking car.
186
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:48,596
I've come out the pub,
he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face...
187
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,325
and he's drove off.
188
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,595
No, I can't have it!
He's disrespecting me.
189
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,000
And that means,
he's disrespecting you.
190
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,005
Hold up!
What them?
191
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:39,713
Dickhead.
192
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,652
Foxes are vermin, cause.
193
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,255
Should've driven it over.
194
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:47,391
Should've done a lot of things.
195
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,220
I'll sort this,
Get out of the car.
196
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,896
I said, get out of the fucking car!
197
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,839
Eggsy, there is no such thing
as honor amongst thieves.
198
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:08,574
Now, you can start giving me some names
of the boys you were with...
199
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:10,578
or you go down.
200
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:12,780
It's up to you.
201
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,577
I want to exercise
my right to a phone call.
202
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:21,791
Well, I hope it's to your mum...
203
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:25,452
to tell her you're gonna be
18 months late for your dinner.
204
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:58,794
Customer Complaints,
how may I help you'?
205
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,122
My name's Eggsy Unwin.
206
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:05,793
Sorry, Gary Unwin.
And I'm up shit creek.
207
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,198
I'm in Holborn police station...
208
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,033
and my mum said to call this number
if ever I needed help.
209
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,698
I'm sorry, sir,
Wrong number.
210
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,207
Wait! Wait!
211
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,212
Oxfords not brogues.
212
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,348
Your complaint has been duly noted...
213
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:23,646
and we hope that we have
not lost you as a loyal customer.
214
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,057
Yeah.
215
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,000
You what?
216
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:42,833
Yeah.
217
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:46,169
Yes, I totally understand.
218
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:06,757
Eggs?
219
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:08,891
Would you like a lift home?
220
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:10,859
Who are you?
221
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:12,366
The man who got you released.
222
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,868
That ain't an answer.
223
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,366
A little gratitude would be nice.
224
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:20,867
My name is Harry Han,
and I gave you that medal.
225
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:24,403
Your father saved my life.
226
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,812
So before you was a tailor,
was you in the army?
227
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,719
Like an officer.
228
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:33,379
Not quite.
229
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,321
So where was you posted,
Iraq or something?
230
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,757
Sorry, Eggsy,
Classified.
231
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,388
But my dad saved your life, yeah?
232
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,924
The day your father died,
I missed something.
233
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,162
And if it weren't for his courage...
234
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:50,273
my mistake would have cost the lives
of every man present.
235
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,673
So I owe him.
236
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,913
Your father was a brave man.
237
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,912
A good man.
238
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,106
And having read your files...
239
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,684
I think he'd be bitterly disappointed
in the choices you've made.
240
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,014
You can't talk to me like that.
241
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:05,086
Huge l Q.
242
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,121
Great performance at primary school.
243
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,357
And it all went tits up.
244
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:12,257
Drugs, petty crime,
Never had a job.
245
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,091
You think there's a lot of jobs
going around here, do you?
246
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:15,755
Doesn't explain
why you gave up your hobbies.
247
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:18,492
First prize,
regional Under-10s gymnastics...
248
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,864
two years in a row.
249
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,267
Your coach had you pegged
as Olympic team material.
250
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:24,101
Yeah, well, when you grow up around
someone like my step-dad...
251
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:25,708
you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.
252
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,606
Of course,
Always someone else's fault.
253
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,008
Who's to blame
for you quitting the Marines?
254
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,548
You were halfway through training,
doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
255
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,708
Because my mum went mental.
256
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,685
Banging on about losing me
as well as my dad.
257
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,290
Didn't want me being cannon fodder
for snobs like you.
258
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:43,859
Judging people like me
from your ivory towers...
259
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,223
with no thought about
why we do what we do.
260
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,292
We ain't got much choice,
You get me?
261
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,134
And if we was born with the same
silver spoon up our arses...
262
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,135
we'd do just as well as you.
If not, better.
263
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:58,138
What the fuck you doing here?
You taking the piss?
264
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,071
Some more examples of young men...
265
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:02,974
who simply need a silver suppository?
266
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,637
No, they're exceptions,
Come on.
267
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,249
Nonsense.
We haven't finished our drinks.
268
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:07,509
After you nicked his car...
269
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:08,981
Dean says you're fair game.
270
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,586
He don't give a shit
what your mum says.
271
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,153
Listen, boys...
272
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,492
I've had a rather emotional day...
273
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:19,994
so whatever your beef with Eggsy is,
and I'm sure it's well-founded...
274
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:21,821
I'd appreciate it enormously...
275
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,933
if you could just leave us in peace...
276
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,661
until I finish
this lovely pint of Guinness.
277
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,366
You should get out of the way, Granddad,
or you'll get hurt and all.
278
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,008
He ain't joking,
You should go.
279
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,012
Excuse me.
280
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,551
If you're looking for another rent boy,
they're on the corner of Smith street.
281
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:53,792
Manners...
282
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,294
maketh...
283
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,560
man.
284
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,808
Do you know what that means?
285
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,877
Then let me teach you a lesson.
286
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:25,753
Are we going to stand around here all day,
or are we going to fight?
287
00:22:10,529 --> 00:22:13,533
You fucking dirty,
fucking dirty.
288
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:56,218
Sorry about that.
289
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,150
Needed to let off a little steam.
290
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:02,815
I heard yesterday a friend of mine died.
291
00:23:02,982 --> 00:23:05,019
He knew your father too, actually.
292
00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:09,658
Now, I do apologize,
Eggsy.
293
00:23:09,822 --> 00:23:11,824
I shouldn't have done this
in front of you.
294
00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,993
No, please!
I won't say nothing, I swear!
295
00:23:14,159 --> 00:23:15,661
If there's one thing I can do,
it's keep my mouth shut.
296
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:17,171
- You won't tell a soul?
- Ask the feds.
297
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:18,330
I've never grassed anyone up.
298
00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:20,841
- Is that a promise?
- On my life!
299
00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:26,847
Much appreciated, Eggsy.
300
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:28,747
You're right about the snobs.
301
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,184
But there, too,
there are exceptions.
302
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,886
Best of luck with everything.
303
00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:52,437
In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine
movie premiered in Hollywood last night.
304
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:55,408
The story of the internet billionaires
rise to power...
305
00:23:55,567 --> 00:23:58,377
is expected to be
this award season's hot ticket.
306
00:23:58,537 --> 00:24:01,541
One notable absence from the red carpet
was lggy Azalea...
307
00:24:01,707 --> 00:24:05,211
still missing three days after she failed
to appear at her Oakland concert.
308
00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:06,913
No ransom has been demanded.
309
00:24:07,079 --> 00:24:09,059
Eggsy, just go, please,
because he's gonna...
310
00:24:10,249 --> 00:24:11,728
No, please, don't hurt him!
311
00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:13,591
Fuck off!
Get the fuck away with ya!
312
00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:14,958
Shut the fuck up!
313
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,259
Who was with you in that fucking pub?
314
00:24:17,423 --> 00:24:19,562
I want to know the name of the geezer
you was with.
315
00:24:19,725 --> 00:24:21,568
- I wasn't with no one!
- Who was it?
316
00:24:21,727 --> 00:24:23,138
- I don't know what you're on about.
- Who was it?
317
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,433
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
318
00:24:24,596 --> 00:24:25,734
Fucking tell me his name!
319
00:24:25,898 --> 00:24:28,242
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
320
00:24:32,438 --> 00:24:33,439
You listen to me!
321
00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:35,585
I want to know who you was with in that pub.
Do you understand?
322
00:24:35,741 --> 00:24:37,618
I want to know his fucking name!
323
00:24:37,776 --> 00:24:40,757
Because, I swear,
H! rip your head off
324
00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:43,951
- Tell me!
- I don't know what you're fucking on about!
325
00:24:44,116 --> 00:24:45,151
Just tell him, Eggsy!
326
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,126
Fuck off!
Fuck off, Michelle!
327
00:24:47,286 --> 00:24:48,594
I could kill you right now...
328
00:24:48,754 --> 00:24:51,257
and no one in the whole world
will notice!
329
00:24:51,423 --> 00:24:53,096
But I would.
330
00:24:53,258 --> 00:24:55,101
I have enough evidence
on your activities...
331
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:57,262
to have you locked up
for the rest of your life...
332
00:24:57,429 --> 00:24:59,636
- Mr. Dean Anthony Baker.
- What the fuck?
333
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,436
So I suggest you leave the boy alone...
334
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,173
or! shah' be forced to deliver it
to the appropriate authorities.
335
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:08,708
Eggsy, meet me at the tailor
I told you about.
336
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,354
What the fuck's going on here?
337
00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:14,518
Eggsy,
you fucking maggot!
338
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,886
Hey, we got a racer!
339
00:25:16,048 --> 00:25:17,527
Come here, Hey!
340
00:25:18,217 --> 00:25:19,355
Eggsy, you fucking..
341
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:20,826
Come here, son!
342
00:25:33,232 --> 00:25:34,336
You wanker!
343
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,138
I'll have you, son!
344
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,562
I've never met a tailor before.
345
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:05,739
But I know you ain't one.
346
00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:11,374
Come with me.
347
00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:21,353
Come on in.
348
00:26:27,052 --> 00:26:28,053
What do you see?
349
00:26:28,353 --> 00:26:31,562
Someone who wants to know
what the fuck is going on.
350
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,602
I see a young man with potential.
351
00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:38,704
A young man who is loyal.
352
00:26:39,865 --> 00:26:41,572
Who can do as he's asked.
353
00:26:41,733 --> 00:26:44,543
And who wants to do
something good with his life.
354
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,107
Did you see the film Trading Places?
355
00:26:48,874 --> 00:26:50,217
No.
356
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,111
How about Nikita?
357
00:26:53,212 --> 00:26:54,555
Pretty Woman?
358
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:56,551
All right.
359
00:26:56,715 --> 00:26:59,719
My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon
has set you on a certain path...
360
00:26:59,885 --> 00:27:01,728
but you needn't stay on it.
361
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:06,801
If you're prepared to adapt and learn,
you can transform.
362
00:27:07,392 --> 00:27:09,235
Like in My Fair Lady.
363
00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:12,299
Well, you're full of surprises.
364
00:27:12,564 --> 00:27:15,272
Yes, like My Fair Lady.
365
00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:19,612
Only, in this case, I'm offering you
the opportunity to become a Kingsman.
366
00:27:20,272 --> 00:27:21,615
A tailor?
367
00:27:22,107 --> 00:27:23,415
A Kingsman agent.
368
00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,251
Like a spy?
369
00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:27,583
Of sorts.
370
00:27:29,581 --> 00:27:30,423
Interested?
371
00:27:31,083 --> 00:27:33,256
You think I've got anything to lose?
372
00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:41,768
Since 1849...
373
00:27:41,927 --> 00:27:46,103
Kingsman tailors have clothed
the world's most powerful individuals.
374
00:27:46,265 --> 00:27:50,941
By 1919, a great number of them
had lost their heirs to World War One.
375
00:27:51,770 --> 00:27:55,115
That meant a lot of money
going uninherited.
376
00:27:55,274 --> 00:27:59,279
And a lot of powerful men with a desire
to preserve peace and protect life.
377
00:27:59,444 --> 00:28:02,357
Our founders realized that they could
channel that wealth and influence...
378
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,152
for the greater good.
379
00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:07,627
And so began our other venture.
380
00:28:08,453 --> 00:28:10,797
An independent,
international intelligence agency...
381
00:28:10,956 --> 00:28:14,301
operating at the highest level
of discretion.
382
00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:16,562
Above the politics and bureaucracy...
383
00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:20,904
that undermine the integrity
of government-run spy organizations.
384
00:28:21,667 --> 00:28:24,011
The suit is a modern gentleman's armor.
385
00:28:24,836 --> 00:28:27,908
And the Kingsman agents
are the new knights.
386
00:28:29,007 --> 00:28:30,577
How deep does this fucking thing go?
387
00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:31,812
Deep enough.
388
00:29:16,455 --> 00:29:18,196
Shit, we're late.
389
00:29:42,814 --> 00:29:45,385
Your father had the
same look on his face.
390
00:29:47,052 --> 00:29:48,429
As did I.
391
00:29:50,088 --> 00:29:51,226
Come on.
392
00:29:53,992 --> 00:29:55,062
Galahad.
393
00:29:55,227 --> 00:29:56,228
My code name.
394
00:29:56,395 --> 00:29:57,840
Late again, sir.
395
00:29:58,230 --> 00:29:59,504
Good luck.
396
00:29:59,898 --> 00:30:01,241
In you go.
397
00:30:12,744 --> 00:30:13,916
Fall in.
398
00:30:16,114 --> 00:30:18,958
Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Merlin.
399
00:30:19,117 --> 00:30:20,187
You are about to embark...
400
00:30:20,352 --> 00:30:23,094
on what is probably the most
dangerous job interview in the world.
401
00:30:23,922 --> 00:30:28,769
One of you, and only one of you,
will become the next Lancelot.
402
00:30:29,528 --> 00:30:32,771
Can anybody tell me what this is?
403
00:30:33,632 --> 00:30:35,270
- Yes?
- Body bag, sir.
404
00:30:35,434 --> 00:30:37,710
Correct,
Charlie, isn't it?
405
00:30:37,936 --> 00:30:38,812
Yes, sir.
406
00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:39,710
Good.
407
00:30:39,871 --> 00:30:42,283
In a moment,
you will each collect a body bag.
408
00:30:42,441 --> 00:30:44,284
You will write your name on that bag.
409
00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:47,852
You will write the details
of your next of kin on that bag.
410
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:51,290
This represents your acknowledgment
of the risks that you are about to face...
411
00:30:51,616 --> 00:30:54,722
as well as your agreement
to strict confidentiality.
412
00:30:54,886 --> 00:30:57,958
Which, incidentally, if you break,
will result in you...
413
00:30:58,223 --> 00:31:00,567
and your next of kin...
414
00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:02,630
being in that bag.
415
00:31:04,296 --> 00:31:05,707
Is that understood?
416
00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:08,371
Excellent.
417
00:31:08,967 --> 00:31:10,241
Fall out.
418
00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:19,988
Roxanne,
But call me Roxy.
419
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,157
- I'm Eggsy.
- Essay?
420
00:31:22,314 --> 00:31:23,258
Nov Eggsy
421
00:31:23,415 --> 00:31:24,758
Eggy?
422
00:31:24,916 --> 00:31:26,054
Where did they dig you up?
423
00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:28,323
You know we're not allowed
to discuss who proposed us.
424
00:31:28,487 --> 00:31:29,761
No need to bite his head off.
425
00:31:29,921 --> 00:31:32,265
Charlie's only making conversation,
right, Charlie?
426
00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:34,097
I'm Digby.
427
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,065
Dig DY..
428
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:37,673
Eggy, this is Rufus.
429
00:31:37,829 --> 00:31:39,331
Rufus, Eggy.
430
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:44,276
So, Eggy,
are you Oxford or Cambridge?
431
00:31:44,770 --> 00:31:45,441
Neither.
432
00:31:45,604 --> 00:31:46,912
- Saint Andrews?
- Durham?
433
00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:49,018
No, wait,
I think we may have met.
434
00:31:49,174 --> 00:31:52,712
Did you serve me at the McDonald's
in Winchester service station?
435
00:31:52,844 --> 00:31:53,584
No.
436
00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:56,782
It's definitely Saint Andrews.
437
00:31:57,382 --> 00:31:58,554
Just ignore them.
438
00:31:58,717 --> 00:31:59,787
You need a pen?
439
00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:00,725
Cheers.
440
00:32:00,886 --> 00:32:02,297
Amelia, isn't it?
441
00:32:02,454 --> 00:32:03,899
Amelia, Eggs?
442
00:32:04,055 --> 00:32:05,227
Hi, Eggsy.
443
00:32:05,557 --> 00:32:07,298
Don't take any notice of those guys.
444
00:32:07,459 --> 00:32:09,200
That's what I told him.
445
00:32:11,463 --> 00:32:12,703
It's just scare tactics.
446
00:32:13,064 --> 00:32:14,566
Classic army technique.
447
00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:15,901
No one's gonna die.
448
00:32:20,038 --> 00:32:21,244
Shame.
449
00:32:23,375 --> 00:32:25,582
Great. You don't know,
the CIA don't know.
450
00:32:25,744 --> 00:32:28,247
Nobody knows who this guy is?
451
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:29,981
Fine.
452
00:32:30,148 --> 00:32:31,559
Seriously, it's fine.
453
00:32:31,716 --> 00:32:35,596
Well, it's not really fine,
but it's not why I'm here.
454
00:32:35,754 --> 00:32:39,224
Hell, man, you know me.
Money's not my issue.
455
00:32:39,391 --> 00:32:41,098
I could've retired
straight out of MIT...
456
00:32:41,259 --> 00:32:43,739
fucked off to some island,
let the business run itself.
457
00:32:43,895 --> 00:32:46,637
Nobody told me
to try and save the planet.
458
00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:48,436
I wanted to.
459
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:52,309
Climate change research,
lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars...
460
00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,280
and you know why I quit?
461
00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:59,484
Because the last time I checked,
the planet was still fucked.
462
00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:02,314
Hence, my epiphany.
463
00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:05,257
Money won't solve this.
464
00:33:05,617 --> 00:33:08,097
Those idiots
who call themselves politicians...
465
00:33:08,253 --> 00:33:12,292
have buried their heads in the sand
and stood for nothing but re-election.
466
00:33:13,091 --> 00:33:17,437
So I spent the last two years
trying to find a real solution.
467
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,942
And I found it.
468
00:33:20,999 --> 00:33:24,139
Now, if you really want to make
the world a better place...
469
00:33:24,302 --> 00:33:28,773
I suggest you open your fucking ears,
because I'm about to tell it to you.
470
00:33:28,974 --> 00:33:30,817
Go on, Mr. Valentine.
471
00:33:30,976 --> 00:33:32,478
I'm still listening.
472
00:33:33,278 --> 00:33:37,158
As long as you agree to all my terms.
473
00:34:25,363 --> 00:34:26,899
All right, no one panic,
Listen to me.
474
00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:28,200
Stay calm.
475
00:34:29,034 --> 00:34:29,739
Fuck.
476
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,406
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels!
477
00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:34,683
Loo snorkels?
478
00:34:34,839 --> 00:34:35,681
Showerheads!
479
00:34:36,875 --> 00:34:37,717
Showerheads?
480
00:34:37,876 --> 00:34:39,355
She's right,
Fucking go!
481
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:43,749
Hey, hang about,
what's wrong with the fucking door?
482
00:36:07,465 --> 00:36:10,275
Congratulations on completing
your first task.
483
00:36:10,502 --> 00:36:13,176
Charlie, Roxy, well done.
484
00:36:13,338 --> 00:36:15,147
For those of you
who are still confused...
485
00:36:15,306 --> 00:36:17,479
if you can get a breathing tube
around a U-bend of a toilet...
486
00:36:17,642 --> 00:36:19,485
you have an unlimited air supply.
487
00:36:19,644 --> 00:36:22,147
Simple physics, worth remembering.
488
00:36:22,313 --> 00:36:25,624
Eggsy, well done for spotting
that was a two-way mirror.
489
00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:26,785
He's probably seen enough of them.
490
00:36:26,951 --> 00:36:29,830
Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks
off your faces.
491
00:36:29,988 --> 00:36:33,834
Because as far as I'm concerned,
every single one of you has failed.
492
00:36:34,159 --> 00:36:37,197
You all forgot
the most important thing...
493
00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:39,504
teamwork.
494
00:36:53,678 --> 00:36:56,352
So much for classic army technique.
495
00:36:59,517 --> 00:37:00,757
35.
496
00:37:01,419 --> 00:37:02,830
105.
497
00:37:03,421 --> 00:37:05,765
That's it,
That's it.
498
00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:11,032
Hello.
499
00:37:11,830 --> 00:37:12,865
Can I help you?
500
00:37:13,031 --> 00:37:16,410
Yes. I have a question
about anthropogenic force.
501
00:37:17,869 --> 00:37:21,009
Really? It's actually quite fascinating.
502
00:37:22,874 --> 00:37:24,547
My colleague died
trying to rescue you...
503
00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:26,416
and I'm sure you saw
how well trained he was...
504
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:29,184
so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped
you and why they let you go.
505
00:37:29,347 --> 00:37:31,088
I have no idea what you're talking..
506
00:37:31,883 --> 00:37:34,124
I'm not supposed to say it,
but it was..
507
00:37:34,519 --> 00:37:36,226
For God's sake,
I've barely touched you.
508
00:37:36,387 --> 00:37:37,695
Man up!
509
00:37:58,543 --> 00:38:00,454
Fuck that guy, whoever he is.
I'm gonna..
510
00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:03,960
He made me kill Professor Arnold.
511
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:05,458
I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.
512
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:06,652
Well, the good news is...
513
00:38:06,818 --> 00:38:08,627
we know the emergency
and surveillance system work.
514
00:38:08,787 --> 00:38:10,767
You know what's not good news?
515
00:38:10,922 --> 00:38:12,629
"My colleague died!
516
00:38:12,791 --> 00:38:14,236
That's what he said!
517
00:38:14,392 --> 00:38:16,736
This is an organization,
and they're all over us.
518
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:18,736
- Whoever you spoke to..
- I told you...
519
00:38:18,897 --> 00:38:22,435
I made contact with the KGB, MIG,
Mossad and Beijing.
520
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,011
They all insist he wasn't one of theirs.
521
00:38:24,435 --> 00:38:25,743
Beijing.
522
00:38:26,171 --> 00:38:30,415
So freaky how there's no recognizable name
for the Chinese secret service.
523
00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:33,015
Now, that's what you call
a secret, right?
524
00:38:34,012 --> 00:38:35,787
You know what?
Fuck it.
525
00:38:36,247 --> 00:38:37,817
We need to speed things up.
526
00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:39,325
Bring the product release forward.
527
00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:41,327
We're only halfway into production...
528
00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:42,931
and speeding it will cost a fortune.
529
00:38:43,087 --> 00:38:44,361
Do I look like I give a fuck?
530
00:38:44,622 --> 00:38:46,465
Just get it done.
531
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,531
As some of you will
have learned last night...
532
00:38:52,964 --> 00:38:56,173
teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman.
533
00:38:56,334 --> 00:39:00,146
We're hereto enhance your skills,
test you to the limit.
534
00:39:00,305 --> 00:39:03,718
Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy.
535
00:39:03,875 --> 00:39:05,718
Wherever you go,
your dog goes.
536
00:39:05,877 --> 00:39:08,118
You will care for it,
You will teach it.
537
00:39:08,279 --> 00:39:11,317
And by the time it's fully trained,
so will you be.
538
00:39:11,482 --> 00:39:14,053
Those of you who are still here,
that is.
539
00:39:14,219 --> 00:39:16,165
Do you understand?
540
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,231
Choose your puppy.
541
00:39:20,892 --> 00:39:22,064
A poodle?
542
00:39:22,227 --> 00:39:23,069
What?
543
00:39:23,328 --> 00:39:24,898
They're gun dogs.
544
00:39:25,063 --> 00:39:26,565
Oldest working breed.
545
00:39:26,731 --> 00:39:28,540
Easy to train.
546
00:39:29,567 --> 00:39:30,841
A pug?
547
00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:33,876
It's a bulldog, innit?
548
00:39:36,341 --> 00:39:37,684
It'll get bigger,
though, won't it?
549
00:39:41,579 --> 00:39:43,718
Shit.
550
00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:49,062
His MRI shows no signs of concussion.
551
00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:52,201
No direct brain trauma at all.
552
00:39:52,523 --> 00:39:54,594
How much longer can he be out?
553
00:39:54,759 --> 00:39:55,931
That's the million-dollar question.
554
00:39:56,094 --> 00:39:57,937
We don't know
what he was exposed to in there.
555
00:39:58,096 --> 00:39:59,575
What about Harry's footage?
556
00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:01,404
It didn't stream to his home terminal.
557
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:04,547
Encrypted and uncrackable.
558
00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:05,907
If and when he comes around...
559
00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:08,710
you might want to have a word with him
about sharing his password.
560
00:40:08,873 --> 00:40:10,546
Is he gonna be all right?
561
00:40:11,709 --> 00:40:13,382
We need to have patience, Eggsy.
562
00:40:13,778 --> 00:40:15,121
But there's hope, okay?
563
00:40:15,713 --> 00:40:17,420
If I were you,
I'd concentrate on your training.
564
00:40:17,582 --> 00:40:19,755
Make it through the tests.
Make him proud.
565
00:40:27,392 --> 00:40:28,894
Come on, come on, come on!
566
00:40:29,060 --> 00:40:31,131
J.B, come on!
Come on!
567
00:40:34,232 --> 00:40:36,234
I'm not coming last because of you.
568
00:40:37,068 --> 00:40:39,571
J.B., I'll shoot you!
Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you!
569
00:40:40,805 --> 00:40:42,478
Merlin said we're not
allowed to hold you.
570
00:40:44,642 --> 00:40:46,144
Bollocks.
571
00:41:28,686 --> 00:41:29,664
Water!
572
00:41:32,957 --> 00:41:34,459
- Come on, then!
- Eggsy, forget it!
573
00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:36,127
What's wrong, mate?
You can't take a joke?
574
00:41:36,294 --> 00:41:38,467
Seriously, you'll get thrown out,
and it's just not worth it.
575
00:41:38,629 --> 00:41:40,131
Maybe I don't give a fuck
if I get kicked out!
576
00:41:40,298 --> 00:41:41,641
Do it. Come on,
you pleb.
577
00:41:41,799 --> 00:41:43,210
Charlie, fuck off!
578
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:48,317
Yeah, go on, walk away,
Dickhead.
579
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:50,710
Come on, J.B.
580
00:41:50,875 --> 00:41:51,979
Come on, good boy.
581
00:42:05,790 --> 00:42:08,168
You have exactly one hour
to complete the test...
582
00:42:08,326 --> 00:42:09,862
starting now.
583
00:42:11,963 --> 00:42:13,704
New target, 800 meters.
584
00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:15,503
You know, it's unbelievable.
You're still here...
585
00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:19,170
lingering like some
big, steaming shit that just won't flush.
586
00:42:19,337 --> 00:42:20,839
Roger that,
Target identified.
587
00:42:21,005 --> 00:42:23,007
And how about you shut the fuck up?
588
00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:24,312
Positive discrimination...
589
00:42:24,475 --> 00:42:25,886
that's what it is.
590
00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:29,218
It's like those fucking state school kids
who get into Oxford on C grades...
591
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:31,018
because their mum
is a one-legged lesbian.
592
00:42:31,182 --> 00:42:32,684
You don't know fuck all about my grades.
593
00:42:32,850 --> 00:42:34,727
Forgive me,
I'm sure you're highly educated.
594
00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:36,365
Fire when ready.
595
00:42:38,523 --> 00:42:40,525
How's that for positive discrimination?
596
00:42:53,204 --> 00:42:55,013
I want to thank you both
for listening...
597
00:42:55,173 --> 00:42:58,245
and I really, really appreciate
you travelling all this way...
598
00:42:58,409 --> 00:42:59,410
Your Royal Highness.
599
00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:01,382
And you, too, Prime Minister.
600
00:43:01,546 --> 00:43:04,550
I think this is quite brilliant.
601
00:43:05,049 --> 00:43:07,552
It's absolutely brilliant.
602
00:43:08,352 --> 00:43:11,196
You are completely crazy.
603
00:43:13,224 --> 00:43:14,760
And as for you,
Prime Minister
604
00:43:14,892 --> 00:43:17,099
I'm speechless you'd even consider this.
605
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,381
- Don't touch..
- Sorry, Your Royal Highness.
606
00:43:25,536 --> 00:43:26,571
But you've got a big role to play...
607
00:43:26,737 --> 00:43:29,274
in getting the Scandinavian
region back on track.
608
00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:30,950
You're popular, inspirational...
609
00:43:31,109 --> 00:43:33,589
and you have the power
to galvanize the people.
610
00:43:33,744 --> 00:43:36,588
Now,
whether you're on board or not...
611
00:43:36,747 --> 00:43:38,385
I'm going to have to insist...
612
00:43:38,549 --> 00:43:41,428
on getting you somewhere
I can ensure your safety.
613
00:43:41,919 --> 00:43:44,126
How about you, Prime Minister?
You in or out?
614
00:43:45,089 --> 00:43:46,591
Well, I think it's about time...
615
00:43:46,757 --> 00:43:51,433
that a politician did something
that actually made a difference.
616
00:43:51,929 --> 00:43:53,772
Too true.
617
00:43:53,931 --> 00:43:54,773
What?
618
00:43:54,932 --> 00:43:56,275
Take her away.
619
00:43:59,937 --> 00:44:00,779
Drink?
620
00:44:01,772 --> 00:44:03,274
Why not?
621
00:44:05,176 --> 00:44:07,156
Guards! Help!
622
00:44:07,245 --> 00:44:07,985
Don't worry.
623
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:09,625
No harm will come to the princess.
624
00:44:10,114 --> 00:44:14,256
Well, I'm a republican anyways,
so it really doesn't matter.
625
00:44:15,786 --> 00:44:16,594
Release the princess!
626
00:44:50,488 --> 00:44:51,660
Okay, you're done.
627
00:44:51,822 --> 00:44:53,324
Not so bad, right?
628
00:44:53,858 --> 00:44:55,701
Hardly felt a thing.
629
00:44:55,993 --> 00:44:57,495
Welcome aboard.
630
00:44:57,962 --> 00:44:59,805
Pleasure is all mine.
631
00:45:06,137 --> 00:45:07,138
Ever heard of knocking?
632
00:45:08,339 --> 00:45:09,682
Only when I'm casing a place to rob.
633
00:45:11,175 --> 00:45:12,347
Merlin said you wanted to see me?
634
00:45:13,644 --> 00:45:15,681
I hope J.B.'s training
is going as well as yours is.
635
00:45:15,980 --> 00:45:17,015
Sit.
636
00:45:19,517 --> 00:45:22,396
Congratulations on making it
to the final six candidates.
637
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:25,056
Your test results were even better
than I could've hoped.
638
00:45:27,692 --> 00:45:28,864
Come in.
639
00:45:33,030 --> 00:45:35,704
Eggsy, I need to have
a private conversation.
640
00:45:35,866 --> 00:45:36,844
You're dismissed.
641
00:45:37,001 --> 00:45:38,708
Nonsense,
Let him observe.
642
00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:40,541
Might learn a thing or two.
643
00:45:41,038 --> 00:45:43,040
As you wish,
Take a look at this.
644
00:45:43,207 --> 00:45:45,016
For Gods sake,
We barely touched you.
645
00:45:45,176 --> 00:45:46,018
Man up!
646
00:45:46,677 --> 00:45:48,384
Fucking hell!
647
00:45:48,546 --> 00:45:50,526
That is rank, Harry.
648
00:45:51,215 --> 00:45:52,558
You blew up his head?
649
00:45:52,717 --> 00:45:54,196
It's a bit much, innit?
650
00:45:54,352 --> 00:45:58,027
Actually, the explosion was caused
by an implant in his neck.
651
00:45:58,222 --> 00:45:59,724
Here, under the scar.
652
00:46:00,057 --> 00:46:02,560
Did my hardware
pick up the signal that triggered it?
653
00:46:02,727 --> 00:46:04,229
Fortunately, yes.
654
00:46:04,562 --> 00:46:06,542
Unfortunately,
the IP address I traced it to...
655
00:46:06,697 --> 00:46:08,904
is registered
to the Valentine Corporation.
656
00:46:09,066 --> 00:46:11,910
That's not much of a lead.
He has millions of employees worldwide.
657
00:46:12,069 --> 00:46:14,242
That Richmond Valentine is a genius.
658
00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:20,048
Did you not see his announcement today?
659
00:46:20,745 --> 00:46:21,917
No.
660
00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:29,557
We each spend on average
$2,000 a year...
661
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:31,597
on cell phone and internet usage.
662
00:46:31,756 --> 00:46:34,896
It gives me great pleasure
to announce...
663
00:46:35,059 --> 00:46:37,596
those days are oven.
664
00:46:37,762 --> 00:46:38,797
As of tomorrow...
665
00:46:38,963 --> 00:46:42,809
every man, woman and child
can claim a free SIM card...
666
00:46:42,967 --> 00:46:47,109
compatible with any cell phone,
any computer...
667
00:46:47,271 --> 00:46:51,447
and utilize my communications network
or free.
668
00:46:51,609 --> 00:46:52,952
Free calls...
669
00:46:53,110 --> 00:46:54,612
free internet...
670
00:46:54,779 --> 00:46:56,281
for everyone.
671
00:46:57,281 --> 00:46:58,624
Forever.
672
00:47:14,465 --> 00:47:17,139
Valentine's assistant
has the same implant scar.
673
00:47:17,635 --> 00:47:20,309
I think Mr. Valentine and I
should have a téte-é-téte.
674
00:47:23,808 --> 00:47:26,288
He's having a gala dinner next week.
675
00:47:26,444 --> 00:47:29,288
I'll get you an invitation.
You need to be careful, though.
676
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,460
Since you've been out,
hundreds of VIPs have gone missing.
677
00:47:31,615 --> 00:47:33,993
No ransom notes,
exactly like Professor Arnold.
678
00:47:34,318 --> 00:47:38,027
Then I suggest you make my alias
somebody worth kidnapping.
679
00:47:50,835 --> 00:47:52,007
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
680
00:47:52,169 --> 00:47:53,341
What, don't like heights?
681
00:47:53,504 --> 00:47:54,505
Yeah, ifs okay.
682
00:47:54,705 --> 00:47:58,346
I've done it before, which is probably why,
come to think of it.
683
00:47:59,643 --> 00:48:01,520
Hey, ifs gonna be ail right.
684
00:48:01,679 --> 00:48:03,158
You're top of the class.
685
00:48:05,149 --> 00:48:06,355
Listen up.
686
00:48:06,517 --> 00:48:09,327
Your mission is to land in the target
without the radar detecting you.
687
00:48:09,487 --> 00:48:13,162
If I read you on the radar,
or you miss the target, you go home.
688
00:48:13,524 --> 00:48:14,696
Is that understood?
689
00:48:18,195 --> 00:48:20,835
Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds.
690
00:48:22,166 --> 00:48:23,577
We gotta go.
691
00:48:32,843 --> 00:48:34,720
Eggsy, I really don't think
I can do this.
692
00:48:34,879 --> 00:48:35,880
Of course you can?
693
00:48:36,046 --> 00:48:37,389
Head to the back
and I'll show you how, yeah?
694
00:48:45,890 --> 00:48:47,892
Eggsy, wait!
Hang on!
695
00:48:48,893 --> 00:48:50,395
Roxy, just stop fucking about!
696
00:48:52,029 --> 00:48:52,905
Follow me, yeah?
697
00:49:07,077 --> 00:49:08,920
Come on!
698
00:49:10,214 --> 00:49:12,251
Roxy, it's now or never.
699
00:49:13,551 --> 00:49:14,757
Jump!
700
00:49:33,404 --> 00:49:34,747
Good girl, Rox...
701
00:49:34,905 --> 00:49:36,475
Fm glad you made it!
702
00:49:49,286 --> 00:49:50,959
Yeah!
703
00:49:51,622 --> 00:49:52,623
Come on!
704
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:57,131
My, my,
you're all very cheerful.
705
00:49:57,294 --> 00:49:59,467
Did you really think it was gonna be
that straightforward'?
706
00:49:59,630 --> 00:50:02,008
Any idiot can read a heads-up display.
707
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:05,841
A Kingsman agent needs to be able
to solve problems under pressure.
708
00:50:06,437 --> 00:50:09,941
Like what to do when one of
your group has no parachute.
709
00:50:11,308 --> 00:50:12,981
- What, no parachute?
- Shit!
710
00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:14,482
Who?
711
00:50:14,645 --> 00:50:15,487
Fuck!
712
00:50:15,646 --> 00:50:16,624
Which one?
713
00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:18,191
What do we do?
714
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:19,794
I told you,
Aim for the target.
715
00:50:19,950 --> 00:50:21,190
Come in under the radar.
716
00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:23,332
And I hope not to be scraping
one of you up.
717
00:50:23,687 --> 00:50:26,668
But if I do have to,
and you're inside the target...
718
00:50:27,157 --> 00:50:28,864
please know I'll be very impressed.
719
00:50:29,026 --> 00:50:30,471
- Fuck!
- Oh, Shit!
720
00:50:34,331 --> 00:50:36,004
Everybody listen,
We got a plan!
721
00:50:37,701 --> 00:50:40,682
Pair off!
Grab the closest person to them.
722
00:50:43,340 --> 00:50:44,512
Rufus, come on!
723
00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:45,652
Fuck!
724
00:50:46,510 --> 00:50:47,386
Rufus!
725
00:50:47,845 --> 00:50:49,017
Shit! I can't!
726
00:50:52,850 --> 00:50:53,521
Fuck!
727
00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,023
Thank God!
728
00:50:56,186 --> 00:50:58,029
Rufus, you wanker!
729
00:50:59,223 --> 00:51:00,668
Shit, we're an odd number now!
730
00:51:01,725 --> 00:51:02,829
Quick, make a circle!
731
00:51:02,993 --> 00:51:04,700
Fuck, he's right!
Boys, let's do it.
732
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,505
We puff our cords one by one!
733
00:51:11,669 --> 00:51:12,875
When we know who's fucked...
734
00:51:13,037 --> 00:51:14,380
the person on their right grabs them.
735
00:51:16,173 --> 00:51:17,413
Okay, Eggys.
736
00:51:17,875 --> 00:51:18,876
Good plan, Eggsy.
737
00:51:19,043 --> 00:51:21,216
You have 30 seconds.
Come on now, hurry.
738
00:51:21,378 --> 00:51:22,379
Me first!
739
00:51:24,882 --> 00:51:25,724
Fuck!
740
00:51:25,883 --> 00:51:27,226
Yes!
741
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:31,699
Okay, me next.
742
00:51:33,691 --> 00:51:35,227
See you on the ground, boys.
743
00:51:39,063 --> 00:51:40,064
Now me.
744
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:44,776
Fuck!
745
00:51:49,406 --> 00:51:50,214
Roxy.
746
00:51:50,374 --> 00:51:52,047
no matter what happens now,
I've got you, all right?
747
00:51:55,913 --> 00:51:57,221
Okay, Eggsy.
748
00:51:57,381 --> 00:51:58,553
- Yours first, okay?
- Yep.
749
00:52:11,729 --> 00:52:12,605
Shit!
750
00:52:20,404 --> 00:52:21,644
Shit!
751
00:52:23,774 --> 00:52:24,445
Shit!
752
00:52:26,443 --> 00:52:27,114
Rex!
753
00:52:30,914 --> 00:52:31,984
Fuck.
754
00:52:48,332 --> 00:52:50,505
Hugo, Digby.
755
00:52:50,668 --> 00:52:53,478
You don't land in the K,
you're not in the K.
756
00:52:53,637 --> 00:52:55,981
Rufus, you opened too soon.
757
00:52:56,140 --> 00:52:57,483
You were all over the radar.
758
00:52:57,641 --> 00:52:59,484
All three of you,
pack your bags, go home.
759
00:53:01,612 --> 00:53:03,819
Eggsy, Roxy,
congratulations.
760
00:53:04,148 --> 00:53:05,786
You set a new record.
761
00:53:05,949 --> 00:53:07,155
Opening at 300 feet...
762
00:53:07,317 --> 00:53:08,352
that's pretty ballsy.
763
00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:11,022
Well done for completing another task.
Fall out.
764
00:53:12,156 --> 00:53:13,157
Sorry, sir.
765
00:53:13,323 --> 00:53:14,996
But why the fuck did you
choose me as the gimp?
766
00:53:15,159 --> 00:53:16,365
Am I the expendable candidate?
767
00:53:16,527 --> 00:53:19,133
No, no, no.
You don't talk to me like that.
768
00:53:19,296 --> 00:53:21,503
You have a complaint, you come here
and you whisper it in my ear.
769
00:53:28,338 --> 00:53:31,046
You need to take
that chip off your shoulder.
770
00:54:02,039 --> 00:54:04,542
Mr. Devere.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
771
00:54:05,175 --> 00:54:07,883
I'm awfully sorry.
I seem to have my dates muddled up.
772
00:54:08,045 --> 00:54:10,924
No, no, no.
I cancelled the gala because of you.
773
00:54:11,248 --> 00:54:13,057
Anybody willing to donate that much...
774
00:54:13,217 --> 00:54:15,390
deserves their own dinner.
Come in!
775
00:54:17,020 --> 00:54:18,021
Thank you.
776
00:54:19,890 --> 00:54:22,393
Got to admit,
I was really intrigued to meet you.
777
00:54:22,559 --> 00:54:24,402
There aren't many billionaires
I don't know.
778
00:54:24,561 --> 00:54:25,562
I don't doubt it.
779
00:54:25,729 --> 00:54:28,733
And, obviously,
I had my people look into your affairs...
780
00:54:28,899 --> 00:54:30,606
and that's some pretty old money
you're from.
781
00:54:30,768 --> 00:54:31,610
How'd your folks make it?
782
00:54:32,236 --> 00:54:35,240
Property, mostly.
Property and the markets.
783
00:54:35,405 --> 00:54:37,442
Nothing questionable,
if that's your concern.
784
00:54:37,608 --> 00:54:40,384
Look, I'm just into finding out
what caliber person you are.
785
00:54:40,544 --> 00:54:41,386
I'm sure you understand that.
786
00:54:41,912 --> 00:54:42,947
I most certainly do.
787
00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:44,615
- Hope you're hungry.
- I'm famished.
788
00:54:44,782 --> 00:54:45,817
Good.
789
00:54:45,916 --> 00:54:46,917
Grab a seat.
790
00:55:08,672 --> 00:55:09,776
I'll have the Big Mac, please.
791
00:55:09,940 --> 00:55:11,112
Great choice.
792
00:55:11,275 --> 00:55:14,688
But nothing beats two cheeseburgers
with secret sauce.
793
00:55:14,845 --> 00:55:16,654
Goes great with this '45 Lafite.
794
00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:17,815
A classic pairing.
795
00:55:18,248 --> 00:55:21,252
And may I suggest Twinkies
and a 1937 Chéteau D'yquem for pudding?
796
00:55:22,085 --> 00:55:23,462
I like it.
797
00:55:24,021 --> 00:55:27,833
So, you want to
donate to my foundation.
798
00:55:27,991 --> 00:55:31,336
You are aware that I wound things
down in that area, right?
799
00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:34,442
Climate change is a threat,
which affects us all, Mr. Valentine.
800
00:55:34,598 --> 00:55:37,704
And you're one of the few powerful men
who seems to share my concerns.
801
00:55:37,868 --> 00:55:40,542
No, I shut things down,
because I wasn't getting anywhere.
802
00:55:40,704 --> 00:55:43,548
Every bit of research
kept pointing to the same thing.
803
00:55:43,707 --> 00:55:45,118
That carbon emissions
are a red herring...
804
00:55:45,275 --> 00:55:48,950
and that we're past the point of no return
no matter what remedial actions we take?
805
00:55:49,313 --> 00:55:50,951
You know your shit.
806
00:55:51,114 --> 00:55:54,687
L sometimes envy the blissful ignorance
of those less well versed in their...
807
00:55:55,219 --> 00:55:56,459
"shit.
808
00:55:57,487 --> 00:55:59,023
As Professor Arnold always said...
809
00:55:59,623 --> 00:56:02,035
"Humankind is the only virus
cursed to live...
810
00:56:02,192 --> 00:56:05,469
"with the horrifying knowledge
of its host's fragile mortality.
811
00:56:06,697 --> 00:56:09,234
You know, not a lot of people
knew about him.
812
00:56:11,969 --> 00:56:14,347
You like spy movies, Mr. Devere?
813
00:56:18,008 --> 00:56:21,046
Nowadays, they're all a little
serious for my taste.
814
00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:22,189
But the old ones...
815
00:56:22,980 --> 00:56:24,220
Marvelous.
816
00:56:24,381 --> 00:56:26,657
Give me a far-fetched
theatrical plot any day.
817
00:56:26,817 --> 00:56:30,321
The old Bond movies,
Oh, man!
818
00:56:30,487 --> 00:56:34,025
When I was a kid, that was my dream job.
819
00:56:34,825 --> 00:56:36,395
Gentleman spy.
820
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:40,105
I always felt the old Bond films
were only as good as the villain.
821
00:56:40,497 --> 00:56:44,604
As a child, I rather fancied a future
as a colorful megalomaniac.
822
00:56:46,503 --> 00:56:49,780
What a shame we both had to grow up.
823
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,617
Bon appétit.
824
00:56:58,181 --> 00:57:01,128
Just give me a couple of days
to think over your proposal.
825
00:57:01,285 --> 00:57:02,889
I'll have my people
get in touch with yours...
826
00:57:03,053 --> 00:57:04,555
and it's all good.
827
00:57:04,721 --> 00:57:08,259
And thank you for such a happy meal.
828
00:57:13,597 --> 00:57:14,974
Well, want me to follow him?
829
00:57:15,132 --> 00:57:16,270
Nah.
830
00:57:16,566 --> 00:57:19,046
I put a nano tracker gel in the wine.
831
00:57:19,202 --> 00:57:22,206
We'll know his every move
for the next 24 hours.
832
00:57:22,372 --> 00:57:24,909
Finally find out who he works for.
833
00:57:26,476 --> 00:57:28,456
Valentine didn't let me
out of his sight.
834
00:57:28,612 --> 00:57:31,115
All I got was this on the way in.
835
00:57:35,252 --> 00:57:38,324
South Glade Mission Church
is a hate group based in Kentucky.
836
00:57:39,222 --> 00:57:40,792
FBI have been monitoring them for years.
837
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:42,767
But you think Valentine is a supporter?
838
00:57:42,926 --> 00:57:46,237
No evidence yet of a direct connection,
but I'll keep looking.
839
00:57:47,097 --> 00:57:48,474
By the way..
840
00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:53,672
our ever-growing list of missing persons
now includes Scandinavian royalty.
841
00:57:54,104 --> 00:57:56,812
Royal Crown Princess Tilde.
842
00:57:58,909 --> 00:58:01,753
Just let me out,
you psycho!
843
00:58:01,912 --> 00:58:04,756
I told you, you're free to go
any time you want.
844
00:58:04,915 --> 00:58:07,156
As long as you agree to my conditions.
845
00:58:07,584 --> 00:58:09,188
I don't agree...
846
00:58:09,353 --> 00:58:12,095
and I am never ever going to agree!
847
00:58:12,255 --> 00:58:13,495
Tough shit.
848
00:58:13,924 --> 00:58:14,925
Bitch.
849
00:58:17,094 --> 00:58:18,835
I want to speak to the British Council!
850
00:58:19,463 --> 00:58:23,878
The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries
has continued to grow in recent weeks...
851
00:58:24,034 --> 00:58:27,948
and world leaders are coming under
increasing pressure to provide answers.
852
00:58:28,105 --> 00:58:31,848
We are doing everything in our power
to find Princess Tilde.
853
00:58:32,009 --> 00:58:35,183
You know,
governments and security forces worldwide...
854
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:39,054
are working together to find {he person
behind these abductions.
855
00:58:39,216 --> 00:58:40,889
In other news,
people all over the world...
856
00:58:41,051 --> 00:58:45,466
continue to wait in line day and nigh!
to get their free SIM cards.
857
00:58:45,622 --> 00:58:48,068
Mrs. P, did you get one?
858
00:58:48,225 --> 00:58:50,831
Yeah, I've been queuing up all day.
859
00:58:50,994 --> 00:58:55,238
This unprecedented giveaway
by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine...
860
00:58:55,399 --> 00:58:58,243
has already seen
over a billion cards distributed.
861
00:58:58,402 --> 00:58:59,642
At ease.
862
00:59:01,805 --> 00:59:04,217
So you thought we were done
for the day, huh?
863
00:59:05,008 --> 00:59:06,214
Well, we're not.
864
00:59:07,844 --> 00:59:09,846
- A party?
- Tonight, in London.
865
00:59:11,581 --> 00:59:13,925
- Who's this?
- Your target.
866
00:59:14,084 --> 00:59:16,064
Your mission
is to use your NLP training...
867
00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:18,597
to win over the individual
on the photograph in your envelope.
868
00:59:18,755 --> 00:59:20,257
And when I say
"win over“...
869
00:59:20,590 --> 00:59:22,228
I do mean in the biblical sense.
870
00:59:22,392 --> 00:59:23,564
Easy.
871
00:59:24,494 --> 00:59:26,531
Posh girls love a bit of rough.
872
00:59:26,696 --> 00:59:28,334
We'll see about that, yeah?
873
00:59:28,598 --> 00:59:30,407
We certainly will.
874
00:59:35,605 --> 00:59:36,583
Hi!
875
00:59:36,740 --> 00:59:40,051
Sorry, I just had to come over
and say, amazing eyes.
876
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:41,616
Are you wearing color contacts?
877
00:59:41,778 --> 00:59:44,019
- No!
- You so are.
878
00:59:44,181 --> 00:59:46,559
Oh, my God, negging!
That's hilarious.
879
00:59:46,716 --> 00:59:48,593
I haven't heard anyone try that
since the noughties.
880
00:59:48,752 --> 00:59:49,890
Excuse me?
881
00:59:50,053 --> 00:59:50,929
"Nagging.
882
00:59:51,088 --> 00:59:55,059
Saying something negative to a pretty girl
in order to undermine her social value.
883
00:59:55,225 --> 00:59:57,262
It's supposed to make you
want to win his approval.
884
00:59:57,861 --> 01:00:00,899
Absurdly basic
neuro-linguistic programming technique.
885
01:00:01,064 --> 01:00:03,203
Is it just me, or does this champagne
taste a little bit funny?
886
01:00:03,366 --> 01:00:05,243
- It's an acquired taste, mate.
- I think it's just cheap.
887
01:00:05,402 --> 01:00:07,245
Get one of these instead.
They're delicious.
888
01:00:07,404 --> 01:00:10,112
If you're into seduction techniques,
this guy is textbook.
889
01:00:10,273 --> 01:00:13,049
See what he just did?
It's called an opinion opener.
890
01:00:13,210 --> 01:00:14,712
He got you talking
with a neutral question...
891
01:00:14,878 --> 01:00:16,585
got all of us involved
in the conversation...
892
01:00:16,746 --> 01:00:18,419
so that you craved individual attention.
893
01:00:19,116 --> 01:00:20,459
No, I'm just saying
the champagne tastes rank.
894
01:00:20,617 --> 01:00:22,392
Lady Sophie Montague,
Herring.
895
01:00:22,552 --> 01:00:23,826
Phone call for you at reception.
896
01:00:23,987 --> 01:00:25,728
- Be right back.
- We'll see you in a bit, yeah?
897
01:00:25,889 --> 01:00:27,266
See you in a bit.
898
01:00:27,424 --> 01:00:29,267
Budge up, Rox,
I'm feeling a bit rough.
899
01:00:29,426 --> 01:00:30,928
- Are you all right?
- No.
900
01:00:31,094 --> 01:00:32,129
Sorry to eavesdrop...
901
01:00:32,295 --> 01:00:35,833
but there's a much easier way
to guarantee getting someone home.
902
01:00:36,066 --> 01:00:37,602
Rohypnol.
903
01:00:39,769 --> 01:00:41,510
Or even something stronger.
904
01:00:59,089 --> 01:01:00,762
Who the fuck are you?
905
01:01:01,324 --> 01:01:02,769
Where am I?
906
01:01:05,162 --> 01:01:06,334
This knife...
907
01:01:06,496 --> 01:01:08,533
can save your life.
908
01:01:12,802 --> 01:01:13,803
Fuck!
909
01:01:14,204 --> 01:01:17,014
My employer's got two questions
for you, Eggsy.
910
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:19,051
What the fuck is Kingsman?
911
01:01:19,209 --> 01:01:20,847
And who's Harry Hart?
912
01:01:21,011 --> 01:01:22,854
I don't know who the fuck that is!
913
01:01:23,013 --> 01:01:23,821
Shit!
914
01:01:23,980 --> 01:01:27,792
Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends
who gave me the same bullshit answer!
915
01:01:28,385 --> 01:01:29,329
Fuck!
916
01:01:29,786 --> 01:01:32,323
Just cut the fucking ropes, please!
917
01:01:32,489 --> 01:01:33,524
Hey, Eggsy?!
918
01:01:33,690 --> 01:01:35,033
Is Kingsman worth dying for?
919
01:01:37,227 --> 01:01:38,638
Fuck you!
920
01:01:52,909 --> 01:01:54,217
Congratulations.
921
01:01:54,377 --> 01:01:55,583
Bloody well done.
922
01:01:57,881 --> 01:01:59,485
How did the others do?
923
01:01:59,649 --> 01:02:01,424
Roxy passed with flying colors.
924
01:02:01,985 --> 01:02:04,226
Charlie's up next,
Want to watch?
925
01:02:05,655 --> 01:02:07,100
Yeah, all right.
926
01:02:09,593 --> 01:02:11,664
Is Kingsman really worth dying for?
927
01:02:11,828 --> 01:02:13,171
No, it fucking isn't!
928
01:02:13,330 --> 01:02:15,173
Shit, I'll tell you what you want.
Please!
929
01:02:15,332 --> 01:02:16,606
Chester King is Arthur.
930
01:02:16,766 --> 01:02:19,007
Arthur's head of a spy agency.
It's called Kingsman.
931
01:02:19,169 --> 01:02:20,705
- Get me out of here!
- Thank you, Charlie.
932
01:02:20,870 --> 01:02:22,213
Much appreciated.
933
01:02:22,372 --> 01:02:24,750
Come on!
That wasn't the fucking deal!
934
01:02:25,175 --> 01:02:27,451
Fuck!
935
01:02:34,451 --> 01:02:36,761
I had such high hopes for you.
936
01:02:36,953 --> 01:02:38,899
You're a bloody disgrace.
937
01:02:39,055 --> 01:02:40,056
Arthur, I'm sorry.
938
01:02:40,890 --> 01:02:42,233
At least untie me.
939
01:02:42,559 --> 01:02:43,902
Untie yourself.
940
01:02:45,562 --> 01:02:47,735
Arthur, please.
941
01:02:49,065 --> 01:02:51,602
I'm the fucking son of the
... Shit!
942
01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:54,271
Anyone?
Hello?
943
01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:56,974
Galahad, Percival,
congratulations.
944
01:02:57,274 --> 01:03:00,084
Your candidates have reached
the final stage of the testing process.
945
01:03:00,243 --> 01:03:03,781
As tradition allows,
you now have 24 hours to spend with them.
946
01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:07,588
Eggsy, you should know your
father reached this point.
947
01:03:08,318 --> 01:03:09,319
From now on...
948
01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:11,265
there are no safety nets,
understood?
949
01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:16,001
Good,
Dismissed.
950
01:03:19,963 --> 01:03:22,102
Charlie, time to go home.
951
01:03:22,265 --> 01:03:23,608
Fuck you.
952
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,276
Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!
953
01:03:28,438 --> 01:03:29,439
"To pee or not to pee?
954
01:03:31,675 --> 01:03:32,517
That was the headline...
955
01:03:32,609 --> 01:03:35,283
the day after I defused
a dirty bomb in Paris.
956
01:03:35,945 --> 01:03:37,618
"Germany,
1, England, 5.
957
01:03:37,781 --> 01:03:38,851
Missed that game.
958
01:03:39,015 --> 01:03:41,996
I was breaking up an undercover
spy ring at the Pentagon.
959
01:03:47,490 --> 01:03:48,798
My first mission.
960
01:03:48,958 --> 01:03:50,460
Foiled the assassination
of Margaret Thatcher.
961
01:03:51,961 --> 01:03:53,304
Not everybody would
thank you for that one.
962
01:03:53,697 --> 01:03:56,473
The point is, Eggsy,
nobody thanked me for any of them.
963
01:03:57,133 --> 01:04:00,671
Front page news on all these occasions
was celebrity nonsense.
964
01:04:00,970 --> 01:04:04,508
Because it's the nature of Kingsman
that our achievements remain secret.
965
01:04:04,974 --> 01:04:08,319
A gentleman's name should appear
in the newspaper only three times.
966
01:04:08,478 --> 01:04:10,822
When he's born, when he marries,
and when he dies.
967
01:04:10,980 --> 01:04:14,154
And we are' first and foremost,
gentlemen.
968
01:04:14,484 --> 01:04:15,827
That's me fucked then.
969
01:04:16,820 --> 01:04:18,697
It's like Charlie said,
I'm just a pleb.
970
01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:19,856
Nonsense.
971
01:04:20,023 --> 01:04:22,526
Being a gentleman has nothing to do
with the circumstances of one's birth.
972
01:04:23,493 --> 01:04:25,336
Being a gentleman
is something one learns.
973
01:04:26,062 --> 01:04:27,905
Yeah, but how?
974
01:04:28,832 --> 01:04:30,072
All right, first lesson.
975
01:04:30,233 --> 01:04:31,678
You should've asked me
before you took a seat.
976
01:04:33,536 --> 01:04:34,674
Second lesson...
977
01:04:35,672 --> 01:04:37,015
how to make a proper martini.
978
01:04:38,007 --> 01:04:40,078
Yes, Harry.
979
01:04:42,679 --> 01:04:45,717
Goddamn it! This fucking hurts!
980
01:04:46,216 --> 01:04:48,719
You're the one who asked
for a biometric security system.
981
01:04:48,885 --> 01:04:50,023
What's wrong with a simple switch?
982
01:04:50,186 --> 01:04:51,187
A simple switch?
983
01:04:51,354 --> 01:04:55,029
This is an extremely dangerous machine.
984
01:04:55,191 --> 01:04:59,731
It should only be operated by someone
as responsible and sane as me.
985
01:04:59,929 --> 01:05:02,205
Bad shit could happen
if this falls into the wrong hands.
986
01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:07,075
We done here? Shit!
987
01:05:07,237 --> 01:05:09,877
No, Now this one.
988
01:05:10,039 --> 01:05:11,074
For the test at the church.
989
01:05:11,241 --> 01:05:13,084
This one just has a short range.
990
01:05:13,243 --> 01:05:14,779
A simple switch will do.
991
01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:23,629
So are you gonna teach me how to
talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?
992
01:05:23,787 --> 01:05:25,266
Don't be absurd.
993
01:05:25,555 --> 01:05:28,092
Being a gentleman has nothing
to do with one's accent.
994
01:05:28,258 --> 01:05:30,568
It's about being at ease
in one's own skin.
995
01:05:30,727 --> 01:05:32,263
As Hemingway said,
"There is nothing noble...
996
01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:34,807
"in being superior to your fellow man.
997
01:05:35,231 --> 01:05:38,735
"True nobility is being superior
to your former self.
998
01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:45,784
Now, the first thing every
gentleman needs is a good suit.
999
01:05:45,942 --> 01:05:49,253
By which I mean, a bespoke suit.
Never off-the-peg.
1000
01:05:49,412 --> 01:05:51,790
And Kingsman suits
are always bulletproof.
1001
01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:54,758
So let's get you measured,
and then, whether you get the job or not...
1002
01:05:54,918 --> 01:05:59,298
you'll have a lasting and useful memento
of your time at Kingsman.
1003
01:05:59,456 --> 01:06:03,097
I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman
is completing his fitting.
1004
01:06:03,259 --> 01:06:05,432
Fitting Room Two is available.
1005
01:06:05,595 --> 01:06:09,600
One does not use Fitting Room Two
when one is popping one's cherry.
1006
01:06:10,667 --> 01:06:13,477
Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three
while we wait.
1007
01:06:23,847 --> 01:06:25,121
So we going up or down?
1008
01:06:25,281 --> 01:06:26,453
Neither.
1009
01:06:27,684 --> 01:06:28,685
Is this it?
1010
01:06:28,852 --> 01:06:31,958
Of course not.
Pull the hook on your left.
1011
01:06:39,195 --> 01:06:39,969
Oh, yes.
1012
01:06:40,463 --> 01:06:42,636
Very, very nice.
1013
01:06:45,668 --> 01:06:48,171
You're going to need a pair of shoes
to go with your suit.
1014
01:06:48,338 --> 01:06:52,480
An oxford is any formal shoe
with open lacing.
1015
01:06:52,642 --> 01:06:55,851
This additional decorative piece
is called broguing.
1016
01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:57,184
"Oxfords not brogues.
1017
01:06:57,347 --> 01:06:58,985
Words to live by, Eggsy.
1018
01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:01,822
Words to live by,
Try a pair.
1019
01:07:02,552 --> 01:07:04,327
Your weapon scores are excellent,
by the way.
1020
01:07:05,488 --> 01:07:08,731
These you are familiar with,
and this is our standard issue pistol.
1021
01:07:08,892 --> 01:07:10,530
It's quite unique,
as you'll see.
1022
01:07:10,693 --> 01:07:14,038
It also fires a shotgun cartridge
for use in messy close-range situations.
1023
01:07:14,197 --> 01:07:15,676
- How do they feel?
- Yeah, good.
1024
01:07:15,832 --> 01:07:17,175
Now do your very best impersonation...
1025
01:07:17,333 --> 01:07:19,006
of a German aristocrat's
formal greeting.
1026
01:07:22,539 --> 01:07:23,745
No, Eggs?
1027
01:07:27,877 --> 01:07:29,151
That is sick.
1028
01:07:30,179 --> 01:07:32,159
In the old days,
they had a phone in the heel as well.
1029
01:07:32,315 --> 01:07:33,350
How do I get it back in?
1030
01:07:33,516 --> 01:07:37,396
Well, it's coated in one of the fastest
acting neurotoxins known to man...
1031
01:07:37,554 --> 01:07:39,056
so very carefully.
1032
01:07:40,990 --> 01:07:44,699
Now, I've had a lot of fun with this.
1033
01:07:44,861 --> 01:07:47,865
One of our finest examples
of chemical engineering.
1034
01:07:48,031 --> 01:07:50,534
A poison, harmless when ingested...
1035
01:07:50,700 --> 01:07:52,577
but at a time convenient to you...
1036
01:07:52,735 --> 01:07:56,740
can be remotely activated.
Primed.
1037
01:07:58,207 --> 01:07:59,083
Lethal.
1038
01:08:00,410 --> 01:08:02,549
What about these?
What do these do?
1039
01:08:02,912 --> 01:08:04,892
- Electrocute you?
- Don't be ridiculous.
1040
01:08:05,048 --> 01:08:06,891
- It's a hand grenade.
- Shut up!
1041
01:08:07,050 --> 01:08:09,360
If you want to electrocute someone,
you'll need a signet ring.
1042
01:08:09,519 --> 01:08:11,590
A gentleman traditionally
wears the signet on his left hand.
1043
01:08:11,754 --> 01:08:14,735
But a Kingsman wears it on
whichever hand happens to be dominant.
1044
01:08:14,891 --> 01:08:16,234
Touch the contact behind the ring...
1045
01:08:16,392 --> 01:08:17,530
it delivers 50,000 volts.
1046
01:08:19,429 --> 01:08:21,909
And what about them?
What makes them so special?
1047
01:08:22,065 --> 01:08:23,066
Nothing.
1048
01:08:23,232 --> 01:08:25,940
That technology has caught up
with the spy world.
1049
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:28,745
Put it back, Eggsy.
1050
01:08:31,107 --> 01:08:32,586
Perfect timing.
1051
01:08:32,742 --> 01:08:34,619
The gentleman's just finished.
1052
01:08:39,749 --> 01:08:41,092
Mr. Devere!
1053
01:08:42,585 --> 01:08:44,258
What a coincidence.
1054
01:08:44,887 --> 01:08:47,766
You are totally the reason I'm here.
1055
01:08:47,957 --> 01:08:49,095
When you left my house...
1056
01:08:49,258 --> 01:08:53,070
I was thirsting for that dope-ass
smoking jacket you had on.
1057
01:08:53,229 --> 01:08:54,731
And since I'm going
to Royal Ascot...
1058
01:08:54,897 --> 01:08:56,934
and, apparently,
you need one of these penguin suits...
1059
01:08:57,467 --> 01:08:58,639
here I am.
1060
01:08:59,235 --> 01:09:00,236
What are you doing here?
1061
01:09:00,470 --> 01:09:01,813
What's up, man?
1062
01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:03,109
Richmond Valentine.
1063
01:09:03,439 --> 01:09:06,443
This is my new valet.
I was just introducing him to my tailor.
1064
01:09:06,609 --> 01:09:09,453
Another coincidence. So am I.
1065
01:09:09,812 --> 01:09:11,917
Have you had any chance
to think further on my proposal?
1066
01:09:12,081 --> 01:09:13,082
Most definitely.
1067
01:09:13,282 --> 01:09:16,286
My people will be getting
in touch with you very soon.
1068
01:09:16,452 --> 01:09:17,931
I guarantee it.
1069
01:09:18,621 --> 01:09:19,964
A word of advice.
1070
01:09:20,289 --> 01:09:22,496
Ascot requires top hat.
1071
01:09:23,493 --> 01:09:26,633
I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters.
1072
01:09:27,463 --> 01:09:28,498
Saint James's.
1073
01:09:28,665 --> 01:09:29,939
"Lox" as in smoked fish?
1074
01:09:30,266 --> 01:09:32,803
As in, "locked up.
1075
01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:38,785
I have trouble understanding
you people sometimes.
1076
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:41,447
You all talk so funny.
1077
01:09:48,451 --> 01:09:51,523
Gentlemen, would you look after him,
please?
1078
01:10:04,033 --> 01:10:05,341
Now this...
1079
01:10:05,501 --> 01:10:07,378
is a dope-ass top hat.
1080
01:10:09,038 --> 01:10:12,349
Gazelle, let's go ascoting.
1081
01:10:13,843 --> 01:10:15,049
Your hat oaks fine' Gazelle.
1082
01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:18,055
Come on!
Don't make me late for the queen.
1083
01:10:18,815 --> 01:10:21,489
Come on, Gazelle!
We're gonna be late.
1084
01:10:21,651 --> 01:10:23,187
How far is Ascot?
1085
01:10:23,653 --> 01:10:24,688
How fax?
1086
01:10:28,891 --> 01:10:30,199
Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir?
1087
01:10:30,693 --> 01:10:32,195
Sit down.
1088
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:38,674
Pretty dog.
1089
01:10:39,068 --> 01:10:40,376
What's his name?
1090
01:10:40,536 --> 01:10:41,537
J.B.
1091
01:10:41,704 --> 01:10:43,877
- As in "James Bond?
- No.
1092
01:10:44,173 --> 01:10:45,675
"Jason Bourne?
1093
01:10:45,842 --> 01:10:47,844
No.
"Jack Bauer.
1094
01:10:48,177 --> 01:10:49,212
Oh!
1095
01:10:49,879 --> 01:10:50,880
Bravo.
1096
01:10:51,547 --> 01:10:52,685
It pains me to admit it...
1097
01:10:52,849 --> 01:10:55,728
but I think that one day,
you might be as good a spy...
1098
01:10:55,885 --> 01:10:57,364
as any of them.
1099
01:11:04,393 --> 01:11:06,066
Take it.
1100
01:11:12,902 --> 01:11:14,108
Shoot the dog.
1101
01:11:20,910 --> 01:11:22,218
This weapon is live.
1102
01:11:25,414 --> 01:11:26,290
Shoot the dog.
1103
01:12:05,087 --> 01:12:06,122
Give me the gun.
1104
01:12:17,466 --> 01:12:19,173
At least the girl's got balls.
1105
01:12:22,805 --> 01:12:23,806
Get out.
1106
01:12:24,473 --> 01:12:26,475
I knew you couldn't make it.
1107
01:12:29,779 --> 01:12:31,122
Go home.
1108
01:12:32,615 --> 01:12:35,459
Merlin, send in Roxy, please.
1109
01:12:59,208 --> 01:13:02,212
Welcome to Kingsman...
1110
01:13:03,179 --> 01:13:04,317
Lancelot.
1111
01:13:27,670 --> 01:13:28,671
Mum!
1112
01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:30,209
Eggsy?
1113
01:13:30,406 --> 01:13:31,714
Oh, God. Where have you been?
1114
01:13:31,874 --> 01:13:33,876
I've been so worried about you.
1115
01:13:35,845 --> 01:13:39,088
Oh, my days.
Look how big you've grown!
1116
01:13:44,887 --> 01:13:46,924
- Where is he?
- I'm fine.
1117
01:13:47,089 --> 01:13:48,762
Eggsy, please,
just don't get involved.
1118
01:13:48,925 --> 01:13:50,598
I should never have left you
on your own.
1119
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,206
This stops right now.
1120
01:13:53,362 --> 01:13:54,432
I'll be right back.
1121
01:13:54,597 --> 01:13:56,201
Eggs?
1122
01:13:58,567 --> 01:13:59,910
Oi, Dean!
1123
01:14:00,903 --> 01:14:02,746
Mugsy, so you're back.
1124
01:14:02,905 --> 01:14:04,782
What, you gone and nicked
a fucking taxi, now?
1125
01:14:04,941 --> 01:14:06,386
Yeah.
1126
01:14:06,542 --> 01:14:08,579
Can I have a word
about my mum's black eye?
1127
01:14:09,578 --> 01:14:11,285
You want to have a word with me,
you get out of that cab...
1128
01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:13,120
I'll knock you straight back down
on your fucking arse.
1129
01:14:15,384 --> 01:14:17,386
Tell your muppets to go inside,
then I'll get out.
1130
01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:21,568
Go on, lads,
It'll be two hits.
1131
01:14:21,724 --> 01:14:23,761
Me hitting him,
him hitting the floor.
1132
01:14:24,260 --> 01:14:26,604
Come on, then,
you prick.
1133
01:14:26,762 --> 01:14:28,639
Let's see what you got.
Want a bit of me?
1134
01:14:28,798 --> 01:14:29,606
What are you doing?
1135
01:14:29,765 --> 01:14:30,641
No, no, no!
1136
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:31,608
Get out of the fucking car!
1137
01:14:31,767 --> 01:14:33,644
What are you doing?
Where you going, you mug?
1138
01:14:33,803 --> 01:14:35,111
Go on, you got no bollocks!
1139
01:14:35,905 --> 01:14:37,907
Come on, bruv,
he hit my fucking mum!
1140
01:14:38,074 --> 01:14:39,451
Come back when you've grown a pair!
1141
01:14:39,608 --> 01:14:40,484
Mugs?!
1142
01:15:03,366 --> 01:15:04,367
You throw away...
1143
01:15:04,533 --> 01:15:08,504
your biggest opportunity
over a fucking dog.
1144
01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:11,849
And then you humiliate me
by stealing my boss's car.
1145
01:15:12,108 --> 01:15:14,179
You shot a dog
just to get a fucking job.
1146
01:15:14,610 --> 01:15:15,611
Yes, I did.
1147
01:15:18,614 --> 01:15:22,494
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that
every time I take a shit!
1148
01:15:24,053 --> 01:15:26,556
You shot your dog and had it stuffed?
1149
01:15:26,722 --> 01:15:27,962
You fucking freak.
1150
01:15:28,124 --> 01:15:29,501
No, I shot my dog...
1151
01:15:29,658 --> 01:15:31,331
and then I brought him home
and continued to care for him...
1152
01:15:31,494 --> 01:15:33,906
for the next 11 years
until he died of pancreatitis.
1153
01:15:34,663 --> 01:15:37,303
- What?
- It was a blank, Eggsy.
1154
01:15:38,467 --> 01:15:40,140
It was a fucking blank.
1155
01:15:40,903 --> 01:15:42,314
Remember Amelia?
1156
01:15:42,471 --> 01:15:43,211
Yeah.
1157
01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:44,510
She didn't drown.
1158
01:15:44,673 --> 01:15:47,415
She works in our tech department in Berlin.
She's fine.
1159
01:15:47,576 --> 01:15:48,816
Limits must be tested...
1160
01:15:48,978 --> 01:15:51,584
a Kingsman only condones
the risking of a life to save another.
1161
01:15:51,747 --> 01:15:54,728
Like my dad saved your life
even though your fuck-up cost his.
1162
01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:56,557
Or have you got him
stuffed here and all?
1163
01:15:58,587 --> 01:16:01,693
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1164
01:16:07,496 --> 01:16:09,169
Harry, listen to this.
1165
01:16:09,331 --> 01:16:11,072
Valentine is at last
saying something of note.
1166
01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:13,741
Do you know what I love
about pen and paper?
1167
01:16:14,236 --> 01:16:16,739
Nobody can hack into this shit.
1168
01:16:17,173 --> 01:16:20,518
Our worldwide tour
was a complete success.
1169
01:16:20,676 --> 01:16:23,122
We have total coverall.
1170
01:16:23,279 --> 01:16:26,089
Like when all your numbers in bingo
are crossed out.
1171
01:16:26,248 --> 01:16:27,124
Bingo?
1172
01:16:27,283 --> 01:16:30,696
Bingo, the game.
You have played bingo, right?
1173
01:16:31,554 --> 01:16:33,363
Do I look like I play bingo?
1174
01:16:35,558 --> 01:16:36,593
Point is...
1175
01:16:37,259 --> 01:16:41,730
if our tests go well at the church tomorrow,
we are good to go.
1176
01:16:41,897 --> 01:16:44,400
South Glade Mission Church.
1177
01:16:45,301 --> 01:16:47,474
- Merlin, get the plane ready.
- Will do.
1178
01:16:47,636 --> 01:16:49,274
Harry, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna do whatever..
1179
01:16:49,438 --> 01:16:50,439
You should be.
1180
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:53,052
You just stay right there.
I'll sort this mess out when I get back.
1181
01:16:59,415 --> 01:17:01,122
And I say to you...
1182
01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:02,557
bear witness!
1183
01:17:02,718 --> 01:17:05,289
Watch the news,
Watch the news.
1184
01:17:05,454 --> 01:17:06,762
AIDS!
1185
01:17:07,223 --> 01:17:08,065
Floods!
1186
01:17:08,224 --> 01:17:10,329
The blood of the innocent, spilled!
1187
01:17:10,493 --> 01:17:15,670
And yet, there are those who doubt
this is the wrath of God.
1188
01:17:17,500 --> 01:17:24,179
Our filthy government condones
sodomy, divorce, abortion!
1189
01:17:24,340 --> 01:17:26,911
And yet, some still doubt...
1190
01:17:27,076 --> 01:17:30,956
this is the work of the antichrist!
1191
01:17:31,113 --> 01:17:35,994
You do not have to be
a Jew, a nigger, a whore...
1192
01:17:36,152 --> 01:17:38,928
or an atheistic, science-loving
evolution spouter...
1193
01:17:39,255 --> 01:17:40,700
Charming sermon.
1194
01:17:40,856 --> 01:17:42,529
Can you see Valentine anywhere?
1195
01:17:42,691 --> 01:17:44,136
So, my friends...
1196
01:17:44,293 --> 01:17:47,331
although he is a just God.
he is justly a vengeful one...
1197
01:17:47,496 --> 01:17:50,477
and there can be no turning back...
1198
01:17:50,633 --> 01:17:52,271
from the almighty wrath...
1199
01:17:52,434 --> 01:17:53,879
Are you sure we're out of range?
1200
01:17:54,136 --> 01:17:55,672
We're over 1,000 feet away.
What's wrong?
1201
01:17:55,838 --> 01:17:57,112
What if the calculations are wrong?
1202
01:17:57,273 --> 01:17:58,843
You just have to trust me.
1203
01:18:00,042 --> 01:18:04,513
Jew, nigger, fag lovers,
and the devil is burning them...
1204
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:05,988
for all eternity.
1205
01:18:06,148 --> 01:18:07,320
Would you excuse me?
1206
01:18:08,317 --> 01:18:09,159
Where are you going?
1207
01:18:09,985 --> 01:18:11,794
Hey!
What's your problem?
1208
01:18:13,355 --> 01:18:14,800
I'm a Catholic whore...
1209
01:18:14,957 --> 01:18:18,530
currently enjoying congress out of wedlock
with my black, Jewish boyfriend...
1210
01:18:18,694 --> 01:18:21,231
who works in a military abortion clinic.
1211
01:18:21,830 --> 01:18:23,173
So, hail Satan...
1212
01:18:23,499 --> 01:18:25,342
and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
1213
01:18:28,704 --> 01:18:30,149
Oh, shit, He's leaving.
1214
01:18:30,306 --> 01:18:31,876
I'm starting the test now.
1215
01:18:32,341 --> 01:18:34,412
Let's hope enough of these freaks
have our SIM cards.
1216
01:18:37,213 --> 01:18:40,092
I kindly ask you to sit down,
my friend!
1217
01:18:40,249 --> 01:18:41,319
Just leave this church!
1218
01:18:41,483 --> 01:18:43,861
You just leave this church
like the infidel you are!
1219
01:18:46,388 --> 01:18:49,597
Satan cannot save you now!
You will eat your babies.
1220
01:18:49,758 --> 01:18:53,262
You will drown in the
blood of the Lord!
1221
01:18:53,429 --> 01:18:54,908
He will not save you!
1222
01:19:01,103 --> 01:19:02,104
Holy fuck!
1223
01:19:03,872 --> 01:19:06,045
Shit, I can't watch this,
Get over here.
1224
01:19:48,250 --> 01:19:50,252
Jeez! Fuck.
1225
01:19:50,919 --> 01:19:53,058
Galahad, can you hear me?
1226
01:19:53,455 --> 01:19:54,297
Harry!
1227
01:19:54,823 --> 01:19:57,235
Harry, what the heck is going on?
1228
01:19:58,394 --> 01:19:59,839
Could you turn the volume down, please?
1229
01:20:01,163 --> 01:20:03,143
I didn't expect it to be that effective.
1230
01:20:03,299 --> 01:20:04,437
What kind of response are we talking?
1231
01:20:05,301 --> 01:20:06,302
100 percent.
1232
01:20:07,436 --> 01:20:10,440
So, everyones been affected,
whether they have a SIM card or not.
1233
01:20:10,839 --> 01:20:13,012
And we get the added benefit
of wiping out the Kingsman.
1234
01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:15,485
Not yet.
1235
01:21:10,466 --> 01:21:11,740
You need to see this.
1236
01:23:08,817 --> 01:23:10,660
What did you do to me?
1237
01:23:10,986 --> 01:23:12,624
I had no control.
1238
01:23:13,956 --> 01:23:15,435
L killed all those people.
1239
01:23:17,359 --> 01:23:18,599
I wanted to.
1240
01:23:18,760 --> 01:23:19,830
Clever, isn't it?
1241
01:23:19,995 --> 01:23:22,703
In simple terms,
it's a neurological wave...
1242
01:23:22,865 --> 01:23:24,435
that triggers
the centers of aggression...
1243
01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:26,307
and switches off inhibitors.
1244
01:23:26,835 --> 01:23:29,782
Transmitted through your nasty,
free SIM cards, I assume.
1245
01:23:33,008 --> 01:23:34,885
Do you know what this is like?
1246
01:23:35,110 --> 01:23:38,353
It's like those old movies we both love.
1247
01:23:38,514 --> 01:23:41,620
Now, I'm going to tell you
my whole plan...
1248
01:23:41,783 --> 01:23:45,026
and then I'm going to come up with
some absurd and convoluted way to kill you...
1249
01:23:45,187 --> 01:23:47,827
and you'll find an equally
convoluted way to escape.
1250
01:23:48,891 --> 01:23:50,370
Sounds good to me.
1251
01:23:51,126 --> 01:23:53,231
Well, this ain't that kind of movie.
1252
01:23:56,865 --> 01:23:59,368
No!
1253
01:24:07,509 --> 01:24:09,216
Is he dead?
1254
01:24:09,378 --> 01:24:11,858
That tends to happen
when you shoot someone in the head.
1255
01:24:12,047 --> 01:24:13,185
It feels good, right?
1256
01:24:13,649 --> 01:24:15,720
No, no, it does not feel good.
It feels fucking awful.
1257
01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:18,194
What? You just killed
how many people in that church?
1258
01:24:18,353 --> 01:24:19,331
This is one guy.
1259
01:24:19,488 --> 01:24:21,490
No, no, they killed each other.
1260
01:24:24,359 --> 01:24:26,270
Okay, send out the countdown clock.
1261
01:24:26,428 --> 01:24:29,102
This party starts tomorrow.
1262
01:25:03,765 --> 01:25:05,142
Arthur?
1263
01:25:07,269 --> 01:25:08,771
Are you there?
1264
01:25:09,071 --> 01:25:11,244
Sadly, I am.
1265
01:25:11,607 --> 01:25:15,077
Assemble the Kingsmen.
1266
01:25:18,814 --> 01:25:22,921
Can't you see that everything We done
has been about trying to repay him?
1267
01:25:43,438 --> 01:25:45,816
I see a young man with potential...
1268
01:25:46,608 --> 01:25:49,282
who wants to do something
good with his life.
1269
01:26:05,961 --> 01:26:08,305
Arthur, Harry's dead.
1270
01:26:08,964 --> 01:26:11,376
Galahad is dead.
1271
01:26:11,533 --> 01:26:13,979
Hence, we have just drunk
a toast to him.
1272
01:26:14,636 --> 01:26:17,173
Well, then you know
what that psycho's doing.
1273
01:26:17,339 --> 01:26:19,979
How many people around the world
have got those SIM cards?
1274
01:26:20,142 --> 01:26:22,520
Valentine can send his signal
to any of them, all of them.
1275
01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:24,715
If they all go homicidal
at the same time then..
1276
01:26:24,880 --> 01:26:27,190
Indeed, and thanks
to Galahads recordings...
1277
01:26:27,349 --> 01:26:29,989
we have Valentine's confession.
1278
01:26:30,152 --> 01:26:33,531
The intelligence has been passed on
to the relevant authorities.
1279
01:26:33,689 --> 01:26:35,032
Our work is complete...
1280
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:39,661
and a most distinguished legacy
for our fallen friend, it is, too.
1281
01:26:40,495 --> 01:26:41,667
And that's it?
1282
01:26:42,831 --> 01:26:44,003
Come sit down, boy.
1283
01:26:47,369 --> 01:26:52,375
This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy.
1284
01:26:53,408 --> 01:26:56,685
And we only drink it
when we lose a Kingsman.
1285
01:26:57,345 --> 01:27:00,349
Galahad was very fond of you.
1286
01:27:02,517 --> 01:27:04,929
And on this occasion...
1287
01:27:05,087 --> 01:27:08,432
I think it's acceptable for us
to bend the rules a little.
1288
01:27:10,859 --> 01:27:12,031
Are these all Kingsmen?
1289
01:27:12,194 --> 01:27:14,538
Yes, they're founder members.
1290
01:27:15,897 --> 01:27:17,934
I want you to join me in a toast.
1291
01:27:20,202 --> 01:27:22,204
To Galahad.
1292
01:27:23,205 --> 01:27:24,707
To Galahad.
1293
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:31,884
Harry says you don't like
to break rules, Arthur.
1294
01:27:32,380 --> 01:27:33,450
Why now?
1295
01:27:33,615 --> 01:27:34,889
You're very good, Eggsy.
1296
01:27:35,050 --> 01:27:38,623
Perhaps I will make you my proposal
for Galahard's position.
1297
01:27:39,554 --> 01:27:42,262
Provided, of course,
that we can see eye to eye...
1298
01:27:42,424 --> 01:27:44,563
on certain political matters.
1299
01:27:47,395 --> 01:27:48,931
Can you guess...
1300
01:27:50,065 --> 01:27:51,635
what this is?
1301
01:27:51,800 --> 01:27:53,473
I don't have to,
Harry showed me.
1302
01:27:53,635 --> 01:27:55,137
You click it,
I die.
1303
01:27:55,303 --> 01:27:57,112
I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit.
1304
01:27:59,074 --> 01:27:59,745
Bravo.
1305
01:28:00,408 --> 01:28:03,582
Valentine won you over,
somehow.
1306
01:28:03,745 --> 01:28:06,589
Once he explained,
I understood.
1307
01:28:06,748 --> 01:28:07,988
When you get a virus...
1308
01:28:08,283 --> 01:28:09,489
you get a fever.
1309
01:28:09,651 --> 01:28:13,656
That's the human body raising
its core temperature to kill the virus.
1310
01:28:13,822 --> 01:28:16,098
Planet Earth works the same way.
1311
01:28:16,258 --> 01:28:18,169
Global warming is the fever.
1312
01:28:18,326 --> 01:28:21,136
Mankind is the virus.
1313
01:28:21,296 --> 01:28:23,674
We're making our planet sick.
1314
01:28:23,832 --> 01:28:26,438
A cull is our only hope.
1315
01:28:26,601 --> 01:28:28,842
If we don't reduce
our population ourselves...
1316
01:28:29,004 --> 01:28:31,610
there is only one of two ways
this can go.
1317
01:28:31,773 --> 01:28:36,017
The host kills the virus,
or the virus kills the host.
1318
01:28:36,311 --> 01:28:37,187
Either way...
1319
01:28:38,246 --> 01:28:39,816
The result is the same.
1320
01:28:39,981 --> 01:28:41,619
The virus dies.
1321
01:28:42,684 --> 01:28:46,131
So Valentine's gonna take care
of the population problem himself.
1322
01:28:46,288 --> 01:28:48,791
Well, if we don't do something,
nature will.
1323
01:28:48,957 --> 01:28:53,303
Sometimes a culling is the only way
to ensure that this species survives...
1324
01:28:53,995 --> 01:28:56,134
and history will see Valentine...
1325
01:28:56,298 --> 01:28:58,539
as the man who saved
humanity from extinction.
1326
01:28:59,134 --> 01:29:02,479
And he gets to pick and choose
who gets culled, does he?
1327
01:29:02,637 --> 01:29:03,843
All his rich mates,
they get to live...
1328
01:29:04,005 --> 01:29:06,508
and anyone he thinks is worth saving,
he's keeping them safe...
1329
01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:08,655
whether they agree with him or not.
1330
01:29:08,810 --> 01:29:10,983
And you, Eggsy.
1331
01:29:11,513 --> 01:29:13,493
In Harry's honor...
1332
01:29:13,648 --> 01:29:18,324
l am inviting you
to be part of a new world.
1333
01:29:20,388 --> 01:29:22,698
It's time to make your decision.
1334
01:29:29,564 --> 01:29:31,544
I'd rather be with Harry.
1335
01:29:32,167 --> 01:29:33,077
Thanks.
1336
01:29:33,835 --> 01:29:35,212
So be it.
1337
01:29:51,519 --> 01:29:54,762
The problem with us common types...
1338
01:29:54,923 --> 01:29:56,527
is that we're light-fingered.
1339
01:29:57,726 --> 01:29:59,433
Kingsman's taught me a lot...
1340
01:29:59,594 --> 01:30:00,868
but sleight of hand...
1341
01:30:01,529 --> 01:30:03,270
Yes, they're founder members.
1342
01:30:05,901 --> 01:30:07,209
I had that down already.
1343
01:30:09,537 --> 01:30:13,110
You dirty little fucking...
1344
01:30:13,275 --> 01:30:14,720
prick.
1345
01:30:48,977 --> 01:30:50,752
It's okay, Lancelot Put it down.
1346
01:30:51,913 --> 01:30:53,449
It's verified.
1347
01:30:55,817 --> 01:30:58,423
Arthur's phone is receiving update
texts about getting to safety.
1348
01:30:58,586 --> 01:31:00,327
- We don't have a lot of time.
- What are you going to do?
1349
01:31:00,488 --> 01:31:02,627
The question is,
what are we going to do?
1350
01:31:02,791 --> 01:31:05,499
God knows who's in Valentine's pocket
and who's not.
1351
01:31:06,161 --> 01:31:07,663
We have no choice.
1352
01:31:08,763 --> 01:31:10,834
We are gonna have to deal
with this ourselves.
1353
01:31:14,269 --> 01:31:15,612
Follow me.
1354
01:31:34,489 --> 01:31:35,797
What the fuck is this?
1355
01:31:35,957 --> 01:31:37,800
I have no idea.
1356
01:31:38,793 --> 01:31:39,965
What you're playing with...
1357
01:31:40,128 --> 01:31:42,836
is a prototype personal
transatmospheric vehicle.
1358
01:31:42,998 --> 01:31:45,308
It was developed as pan of
Reagan's Star Wars project.
1359
01:31:45,467 --> 01:31:48,380
It's pretty basic,
but it should still work.
1360
01:31:48,636 --> 01:31:51,014
We're gonna take out
one of Valentine's satellites.
1361
01:31:51,373 --> 01:31:53,853
We're gonna break the chain,
stop the signal.
1362
01:31:54,009 --> 01:31:55,682
It'll take him a couple of hours
to reroute it...
1363
01:31:56,344 --> 01:32:00,724
which buys us enough time for you
to get me into Valentine's mainframe...
1364
01:32:00,882 --> 01:32:02,691
so I can shut it down.
1365
01:32:02,851 --> 01:32:05,161
Lancelot,
you're going to be using it.
1366
01:32:05,320 --> 01:32:06,697
Get into your halo suit.
1367
01:32:19,334 --> 01:32:21,075
Swedish Prime Minister,
requesting permission to Sand.
1368
01:32:27,075 --> 01:32:28,850
Permission granted.
1369
01:32:32,414 --> 01:32:34,917
- Please.
- Thank you.
1370
01:32:35,083 --> 01:32:37,188
- How many more are we expecting?
- Not many.
1371
01:32:37,352 --> 01:32:38,695
Most have their own bunkers.
1372
01:32:38,853 --> 01:32:42,198
I figure we're just getting
the really nervous ones.
1373
01:32:42,424 --> 01:32:44,426
Welcome, Prime Minister.
1374
01:32:45,727 --> 01:32:48,708
It seems the implant
can emit some kind of counter signal...
1375
01:32:48,863 --> 01:32:52,538
to ensure the wearer remains unaffected
by the waves from the SIM cards.
1376
01:32:52,700 --> 01:32:54,737
The waves that turn everyone
into a psycho killer.
1377
01:32:54,903 --> 01:32:57,440
Quite. But what he
probably didn't tell anyone...
1378
01:32:57,605 --> 01:33:01,883
is it can also super heat
their soft tissue at his command.
1379
01:33:02,043 --> 01:33:06,219
Valentine selected his chosen few
to get the countdown warning...
1380
01:33:06,381 --> 01:33:09,225
but he had to be sure they didn't blab
to the wrong people beforehand.
1381
01:33:09,384 --> 01:33:11,091
How does this help us right now?
1382
01:33:12,053 --> 01:33:13,054
It doesn't.
1383
01:33:13,421 --> 01:33:14,798
Roxy, here we go!
1384
01:33:27,735 --> 01:33:31,308
The higher you go,
the more the balloons expand.
1385
01:33:31,473 --> 01:33:33,316
When you reach
the edge of the atmosphere...
1386
01:33:33,475 --> 01:33:35,614
they'll explode.
1387
01:33:35,777 --> 01:33:37,779
You'll need to deploy your missile
just before that, okay?
1388
01:33:37,946 --> 01:33:39,289
Edge of the atmosphere.
1389
01:33:39,447 --> 01:33:42,758
And once you've deployed,
you'll need to release for descent, fast.
1390
01:33:43,751 --> 01:33:44,991
Good luck.
1391
01:33:47,322 --> 01:33:49,324
- You can do this, okay?
- Yeah.
1392
01:33:49,491 --> 01:33:52,301
Eggsy, come on,
Time is not our friend.
1393
01:34:14,782 --> 01:34:16,784
You're getting in
on Arthur's invitation.
1394
01:34:16,951 --> 01:34:18,157
You're gonna need to blend in.
1395
01:34:18,319 --> 01:34:19,457
I'm supposed to be Arthur?
1396
01:34:19,621 --> 01:34:22,625
His invitation is in his phone.
You give them this.
1397
01:34:22,790 --> 01:34:25,293
- Give his real name, Chester King.
- What about you?
1398
01:34:25,460 --> 01:34:26,871
I'm your pilot,
I'm gonna stay here.
1399
01:34:27,962 --> 01:34:29,032
Is that gonna fit me?
1400
01:34:29,197 --> 01:34:31,700
A bespoke suit always fits.
1401
01:34:31,866 --> 01:34:33,675
Just be grateful
Harry had it made for you.
1402
01:34:34,636 --> 01:34:35,637
Get dressed.
1403
01:34:37,105 --> 01:34:38,140
What the fuck's wrong with them?
1404
01:34:38,473 --> 01:34:41,215
I don't know, Could have something to do
with the mass genocide.
1405
01:34:41,376 --> 01:34:43,322
Give me the mic.
1406
01:34:45,146 --> 01:34:46,682
Henna
1407
01:34:46,848 --> 01:34:49,795
Everybody, listen up!
Hello, hello!
1408
01:34:49,951 --> 01:34:52,158
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
1409
01:34:52,320 --> 01:34:55,164
I just wanna remind you that today...
1410
01:34:55,323 --> 01:34:57,894
is a day of celebration.
1411
01:34:58,726 --> 01:35:02,230
We must put aside
all thoughts of death...
1412
01:35:02,397 --> 01:35:04,308
and focus on birth.
1413
01:35:05,366 --> 01:35:07,812
The birth of a new age.
1414
01:35:09,003 --> 01:35:13,975
We mustn't mourn those
who give their lives today.
1415
01:35:14,142 --> 01:35:16,088
We should honor their sacrifice...
1416
01:35:16,244 --> 01:35:18,246
Has she got my number to call me back?
I got a new phone.
1417
01:35:18,413 --> 01:35:21,587
Wand their roles in saving
the human race.
1418
01:35:24,018 --> 01:35:27,693
We must put aside doubt and guilt.
1419
01:35:29,090 --> 01:35:32,663
You are the chosen people.
1420
01:35:34,262 --> 01:35:37,732
When folks tell their kids
the story of Noah's Ark...
1421
01:35:37,899 --> 01:35:38,877
is Noah the bad guy?
1422
01:35:39,033 --> 01:35:39,704
No!
1423
01:35:39,867 --> 01:35:41,869
Is God the bad guy?
1424
01:35:42,036 --> 01:35:42,707
No!
1425
01:35:42,870 --> 01:35:45,282
How about the animals
marching two by two?
1426
01:35:45,440 --> 01:35:46,248
No!
1427
01:35:46,407 --> 01:35:47,215
Of course not!
1428
01:35:48,343 --> 01:35:49,686
Yeah, that's it!
1429
01:35:49,844 --> 01:35:53,621
Let's tum those frowns upside down.
1430
01:35:53,781 --> 01:35:55,624
Eat, drink...
1431
01:35:55,783 --> 01:35:57,456
and parry!
1432
01:36:00,521 --> 01:36:03,058
And I will see you all in the new age.
1433
01:36:28,283 --> 01:36:30,422
Rox, ifs me.
1434
01:36:30,918 --> 01:36:32,261
How's the view?
1435
01:36:35,089 --> 01:36:37,160
- Hideous
- Mine's pretty sweet.
1436
01:36:37,325 --> 01:36:40,272
- They made you one of these suits yet?
- No, not yet.
1437
01:36:40,428 --> 01:36:42,772
You've got something to
look forward to {hen.
1438
01:36:42,930 --> 01:36:45,501
We're coming up on Valentine's base.
Gotta go.
1439
01:36:46,968 --> 01:36:48,276
Good luck.
1440
01:36:55,943 --> 01:36:56,944
Looking good, Eggsy.
1441
01:36:59,614 --> 01:37:02,322
Feeling good, Merlin.
1442
01:37:07,622 --> 01:37:09,192
This is November-Z-ll-Y-Charlie-Kilo...
1443
01:37:09,357 --> 01:37:11,803
requesting permission to land.
1444
01:37:14,796 --> 01:37:17,333
Permission is granted.
1445
01:37:21,002 --> 01:37:22,811
Fuck me.
1446
01:37:49,997 --> 01:37:52,477
Eggsy, we're on.
1447
01:38:07,181 --> 01:38:08,182
Chester King.
1448
01:38:09,183 --> 01:38:11,163
Mr. King, welcome.
1449
01:38:11,519 --> 01:38:15,331
I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's
strict no-weapons policy...
1450
01:38:15,490 --> 01:38:16,833
- but if you don't object...
- Of course.
1451
01:38:16,991 --> 01:38:18,197
Thank you.
1452
01:38:18,693 --> 01:38:20,832
Do you have any luggage?
1453
01:38:21,829 --> 01:38:25,242
Congratulations, Mycroft, you just
graduated from my pilot to my valet.
1454
01:38:25,867 --> 01:38:28,347
- You cheeky.
- Understood?
1455
01:38:28,503 --> 01:38:29,743
Good.
1456
01:38:31,038 --> 01:38:32,676
Thank you.
1457
01:38:57,932 --> 01:39:02,574
Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online.
The clock is ticking.
1458
01:39:03,738 --> 01:39:06,446
And remember,
try to blend in.
1459
01:39:06,607 --> 01:39:08,587
Would sir care for a drink?
1460
01:39:09,210 --> 01:39:10,416
Martini.
1461
01:39:10,578 --> 01:39:12,751
Gin, not vodka,
obviously.
1462
01:39:12,914 --> 01:39:16,623
Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing
at an unopened bottle of vermouth.
1463
01:39:17,251 --> 01:39:18,457
Thank you.
1464
01:39:21,255 --> 01:39:23,064
Merlin, are you clocking this?
1465
01:39:23,257 --> 01:39:25,294
Yes, l am,
Stay focused.
1466
01:39:25,927 --> 01:39:28,100
Lancelot' you're doing great.
Not much further to go.
1467
01:39:28,796 --> 01:39:29,934
Yes, Merlin.
1468
01:39:31,432 --> 01:39:33,742
Eggsy, get me online now.
1469
01:39:34,635 --> 01:39:35,636
Yep, I'm on it.
1470
01:39:36,804 --> 01:39:38,943
Lancelot, you're approaching
your altitude limit.
1471
01:39:39,273 --> 01:39:41,082
Those balloons won't last much longer.
1472
01:39:41,943 --> 01:39:43,923
Prepare to engage missile.
1473
01:39:59,293 --> 01:40:00,499
Society's dead.
1474
01:40:00,962 --> 01:40:02,805
Long live society.
1475
01:40:03,798 --> 01:40:05,141
Amen to that.
1476
01:40:06,601 --> 01:40:08,638
- I'm Morten Lindstrom.
- Chester King.
1477
01:40:08,970 --> 01:40:10,313
How'd you get online?
I couldn't.
1478
01:40:10,671 --> 01:40:13,652
It's a closed network, you see.
Pre-authorized connections only.
1479
01:40:17,845 --> 01:40:19,153
I've got a fix on the satellite.
1480
01:40:19,313 --> 01:40:20,451
Do you have the correct time?
1481
01:40:20,615 --> 01:40:21,821
I think I'm still in my last time zone.
1482
01:40:21,983 --> 01:40:23,360
Yeah, yeah,
Let's see now.
1483
01:40:37,465 --> 01:40:38,466
Eggsy, I'm in.
1484
01:40:38,633 --> 01:40:39,703
Get your arse back to the plane, now.
1485
01:40:39,867 --> 01:40:41,471
- On my way.
- Lancelot, good luck!
1486
01:40:41,636 --> 01:40:43,809
Firing in 3...2...
1487
01:40:51,178 --> 01:40:52,179
Nice and slow.
1488
01:40:52,346 --> 01:40:53,518
Fuck are you doing here?
1489
01:40:53,681 --> 01:40:56,025
Well, my family were invited,
obviously.
1490
01:40:56,183 --> 01:40:57,821
Now, get the fuck up!
Slowly.
1491
01:40:59,020 --> 01:41:00,897
Shit. Lancelot,
hurry up and fire!
1492
01:41:01,055 --> 01:41:02,659
That other balloon is gonna blow!
1493
01:41:02,823 --> 01:41:05,861
Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it.
Give me a second!
1494
01:41:07,728 --> 01:41:10,675
Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy!
1495
01:41:11,332 --> 01:41:12,367
V-Glass, zoom.
1496
01:41:12,533 --> 01:41:14,570
Oh, fuck! It's that young valet.
1497
01:41:18,706 --> 01:41:20,083
Son of a bitch.
1498
01:41:20,675 --> 01:41:21,745
Go! it!
1499
01:41:31,886 --> 01:41:33,194
Oh, shit,
Sound the alarm!
1500
01:41:35,723 --> 01:41:36,758
I'm not taking any chances.
1501
01:41:36,924 --> 01:41:38,426
Okay, you send out
the two-minute warning.
1502
01:41:38,593 --> 01:41:41,073
I'm starting the override.
All right, let's do this.
1503
01:41:42,396 --> 01:41:44,034
Countdown initiated.
1504
01:41:53,741 --> 01:41:55,414
- You see him?
- Right here.
1505
01:42:04,218 --> 01:42:05,458
Eggsy, take a left.
1506
01:42:06,253 --> 01:42:07,254
Two guards, up ahead.
1507
01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:20,908
Lancelot!
Release now!
1508
01:42:31,946 --> 01:42:33,755
Eggsy, straight ahead,
then right.
1509
01:42:34,115 --> 01:42:35,116
There's two more.
1510
01:42:38,819 --> 01:42:40,924
All right, everybody on your feet!
1511
01:42:41,088 --> 01:42:42,294
Countdown to V-day!
1512
01:42:42,456 --> 01:42:43,958
Welcome in the new age!
1513
01:42:52,333 --> 01:42:53,437
Hal spin.
1514
01:43:08,616 --> 01:43:11,460
Eggsy, next left,
down the narrow runner'!
1515
01:43:20,194 --> 01:43:21,195
Here we go!
1516
01:43:21,362 --> 01:43:21,999
10...
1517
01:43:22,997 --> 01:43:24,340
9...
1518
01:43:24,832 --> 01:43:25,537
8...
1519
01:43:26,500 --> 01:43:27,171
7...
1520
01:43:28,402 --> 01:43:29,244
6...
1521
01:43:30,071 --> 01:43:31,175
5...
1522
01:43:31,739 --> 01:43:32,513
4...
1523
01:43:34,008 --> 01:43:34,748
3...
1524
01:43:34,909 --> 01:43:35,683
2..
1525
01:43:36,677 --> 01:43:37,553
1!
1526
01:43:43,584 --> 01:43:45,427
Nice! Well clone, both of you.
1527
01:43:46,187 --> 01:43:47,188
It's networking!
1528
01:43:47,354 --> 01:43:49,391
It's supposed to be working!
What the fuck?
1529
01:43:56,197 --> 01:43:56,868
Yes!
1530
01:43:57,031 --> 01:43:58,374
Well done, Rox,
Good girl.
1531
01:44:01,736 --> 01:44:04,239
We've lost one of our satellites.
1532
01:44:13,781 --> 01:44:17,558
Oh, no, no.
There's no way I can hack past that.
1533
01:44:23,124 --> 01:44:24,125
What's going on?
1534
01:44:25,292 --> 01:44:26,396
Is there a problem?
1535
01:44:27,561 --> 01:44:28,904
Come on,
There's no need for guns.
1536
01:44:29,063 --> 01:44:30,565
I'm just a pilot.
1537
01:44:33,567 --> 01:44:34,602
Fuck,
Merlin!
1538
01:44:37,404 --> 01:44:38,974
Get in here!
1539
01:44:43,244 --> 01:44:44,416
Come on!
1540
01:44:47,948 --> 01:44:49,291
Let's get the fuck out of here!
1541
01:44:49,450 --> 01:44:50,451
We can't.
1542
01:44:50,618 --> 01:44:52,097
I can! get into Valentines machine.
1543
01:44:52,253 --> 01:44:53,823
He's got biometric security.
1544
01:44:55,322 --> 01:44:58,633
You're gonna have to get in there and make
sure his hand never touches that desk.
1545
01:44:58,793 --> 01:45:00,329
Are you taking the fucking piss?
1546
01:45:00,494 --> 01:45:01,768
I'm afraid not.
1547
01:45:04,932 --> 01:45:05,933
Let's have that then.
1548
01:45:07,601 --> 01:45:08,944
This is mine.
1549
01:45:09,436 --> 01:45:11,347
I'll show you yours.
1550
01:45:28,689 --> 01:45:29,633
Good choice.
1551
01:45:32,326 --> 01:45:33,862
How long to re-link the satellite chain?
1552
01:45:34,028 --> 01:45:35,302
It'll take an hour, maybe two.
1553
01:45:35,462 --> 01:45:37,533
Bullshit! Just bring these two
closer together.
1554
01:45:37,698 --> 01:45:39,041
But that's not yours.
1555
01:45:44,705 --> 01:45:46,480
V-Glass, call E-man.
1556
01:45:47,308 --> 01:45:48,651
E, it's V.
1557
01:45:48,809 --> 01:45:50,811
Listen, man,
I got a little hiccup on this end.
1558
01:45:50,978 --> 01:45:51,979
I need to piggyback.
1559
01:45:52,146 --> 01:45:56,151
One of my satellites just went down,
but it's right next to one of yours.
1560
01:45:56,684 --> 01:45:58,163
You read my mind.
1561
01:45:58,819 --> 01:46:00,389
How long before you make that happen?
1562
01:46:03,490 --> 01:46:04,525
Go.
1563
01:46:08,696 --> 01:46:10,676
All right, we should be
coming back online.
1564
01:46:13,567 --> 01:46:14,511
10 percent.
1565
01:46:17,671 --> 01:46:18,411
Shit!
1566
01:46:18,572 --> 01:46:20,381
Eggsy, Valentine's using
someone else's satellite.
1567
01:46:20,541 --> 01:46:22,521
He's going to reconnect the chain.
1568
01:46:22,676 --> 01:46:24,087
It's going to take him no time at all.
1569
01:46:25,079 --> 01:46:26,183
It's at 20 percent.
1570
01:46:44,098 --> 01:46:47,375
Eggsy, it seems Valentines got a present
for you, Get a move on!
1571
01:47:20,901 --> 01:47:22,278
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet?
1572
01:47:22,469 --> 01:47:24,107
Not yet, but he will be soon.
1573
01:47:24,271 --> 01:47:25,978
Good.
1574
01:47:38,919 --> 01:47:39,920
Merlin, I'm fucked.
1575
01:47:53,133 --> 01:47:54,134
As am I.
1576
01:47:54,301 --> 01:47:56,645
They're coming at me from both sides.
I'm out of options.
1577
01:47:57,104 --> 01:47:59,948
Rox, I need a favor.
1578
01:48:00,107 --> 01:48:01,142
Call my mum.
1579
01:48:01,308 --> 01:48:02,844
Tell her to lock herself away from Dean.
1580
01:48:03,644 --> 01:48:04,520
And the baby...
1581
01:48:06,146 --> 01:48:07,147
and tell her I love her.
1582
01:48:16,123 --> 01:48:17,363
For fuck's sake.
1583
01:48:21,695 --> 01:48:24,869
Merlin, remember those implants
you said were of no use to us?
1584
01:48:26,667 --> 01:48:27,839
Any chance you can turn them on?
1585
01:48:31,538 --> 01:48:32,346
All right.
1586
01:48:32,506 --> 01:48:34,986
My turn to play,
Valentine.
1587
01:48:43,484 --> 01:48:44,656
Oh, no!
1588
01:48:44,818 --> 01:48:47,230
What the fuck is he doing?
I can't stop this.
1589
01:49:00,667 --> 01:49:01,702
Yes, please.
1590
01:49:05,372 --> 01:49:06,544
No!
1591
01:50:03,297 --> 01:50:05,402
Oh, my God!
1592
01:50:05,566 --> 01:50:07,568
That is fucking spectacular!
1593
01:50:07,734 --> 01:50:10,476
Merlin, you're a fucking genius!
1594
01:50:10,637 --> 01:50:13,811
What the fuck is happening out there?
1595
01:50:18,112 --> 01:50:19,420
Aren't you that princess
who went missing?
1596
01:50:19,580 --> 01:50:20,615
Can you get me out?
1597
01:50:21,248 --> 01:50:23,159
If I do,
will you give me a kiss?
1598
01:50:23,317 --> 01:50:24,762
I've always wanted to kiss a princess.
1599
01:50:24,918 --> 01:50:26,920
If you get me out right now,
I'll give you more than just a kiss.
1600
01:50:29,156 --> 01:50:30,430
You motherfucker.
1601
01:50:30,591 --> 01:50:32,434
Did you really think
I was stupid enough...
1602
01:50:32,593 --> 01:50:34,766
to implant one of those
things in my own head?
1603
01:50:35,229 --> 01:50:36,765
What are you,
fucking crazy?
1604
01:50:37,731 --> 01:50:40,007
All those innocent people killed
and for what?
1605
01:50:40,901 --> 01:50:43,745
You didn't stop shit!
1606
01:50:45,105 --> 01:50:47,107
Fine, I've locked the door.
What do you want me to do now?
1607
01:50:47,274 --> 01:50:50,118
As I said, put your daughter
in the bathroom and throw away the key.
1608
01:50:50,911 --> 01:50:53,289
It's still happening!
1609
01:50:53,447 --> 01:50:54,619
You're fucking insane!
1610
01:50:54,781 --> 01:50:55,919
Just do fl.
1611
01:51:23,210 --> 01:51:24,553
Eggsy, the signal's started!
1612
01:51:24,711 --> 01:51:27,885
Get Valentine's hand off
that bloody desk now!
1613
01:51:28,048 --> 01:51:28,992
Sorry, love.
1614
01:51:29,383 --> 01:51:30,487
Got to save the world.
1615
01:51:31,785 --> 01:51:33,696
I'll be right back.
1616
01:51:35,122 --> 01:51:36,066
Good luck!
1617
01:51:42,863 --> 01:51:43,739
London.
1618
01:52:12,326 --> 01:52:13,270
Rio.
1619
01:52:29,343 --> 01:52:30,185
Get down!
1620
01:52:32,346 --> 01:52:33,188
You did ii!
1621
01:52:42,756 --> 01:52:44,702
The glass is not gonna hold long.
1622
01:52:46,360 --> 01:52:47,964
You stay here.
1623
01:52:50,197 --> 01:52:51,369
Merlin, quickly,
how do I get up there?
1624
01:52:51,698 --> 01:52:53,609
- Keep shooting, I'll find a route.
- Understood.
1625
01:53:10,150 --> 01:53:11,254
Holy fuck!
1626
01:53:29,770 --> 01:53:31,078
We're back up.
1627
01:53:31,938 --> 01:53:33,246
We're back up!
1628
01:53:40,247 --> 01:53:41,954
This is great!
1629
01:53:50,090 --> 01:53:50,932
Eggsy!
1630
01:53:51,091 --> 01:53:52,627
Fucking get on with it!
1631
01:53:52,793 --> 01:53:53,999
Kick his ass, Gazy!
1632
01:54:00,634 --> 01:54:03,444
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai!
1633
01:54:11,812 --> 01:54:14,292
Kill that motherfucker!
He killed all our friends!
1634
01:54:31,665 --> 01:54:33,667
Eggsy,
the world is going to shit!
1635
01:54:43,043 --> 01:54:45,148
- Is he dead yet?
- Not yet!
1636
01:54:45,312 --> 01:54:47,383
Stop playing with your food!
1637
01:54:47,547 --> 01:54:48,548
Kill him!
1638
01:56:06,660 --> 01:56:08,071
Gazelle!
1639
01:56:09,896 --> 01:56:11,068
Gazelle!
1640
01:56:20,674 --> 01:56:22,415
Come on!
Come on!
1641
01:56:25,412 --> 01:56:26,083
Kill him!
1642
01:56:43,697 --> 01:56:44,368
Hey!
1643
01:57:09,456 --> 01:57:10,958
Well done, son!
1644
01:57:12,292 --> 01:57:13,236
Yes!
1645
01:57:13,393 --> 01:57:14,565
Yes, Eggsy!
1646
01:57:14,728 --> 01:57:16,298
Well done, Eggsy!
1647
01:57:16,796 --> 01:57:17,968
And you, Lancelot.
1648
01:57:20,700 --> 01:57:23,306
I'm so sorry.
Mummy would never hurt you.
1649
01:57:23,904 --> 01:57:26,976
Mummy would never hurt you.
I'm so sorry.
1650
01:57:29,476 --> 01:57:30,477
Are you okay?
1651
01:57:34,247 --> 01:57:36,158
Harry would be
proud of you, Eggsy.
1652
01:57:37,484 --> 01:57:38,554
He was right.
1653
01:57:54,000 --> 01:57:55,274
What's up, man?
1654
01:57:55,669 --> 01:57:59,014
Is this the pan where you say
some really bad pun?
1655
01:58:00,507 --> 01:58:02,509
Well, it's like you said to Harry.
1656
01:58:05,679 --> 01:58:08,023
This ain't that kind of movie, bruv.
1657
01:58:09,516 --> 01:58:10,927
Perfect.
1658
01:58:31,805 --> 01:58:32,977
Eggsy, where are you going?
1659
01:58:33,139 --> 01:58:35,278
There's no need for champagne.
We got loads in the plane.
1660
01:58:42,549 --> 01:58:43,619
Did you save the world?
1661
01:58:44,217 --> 01:58:45,662
Yes, I did.
1662
01:58:46,987 --> 01:58:49,797
So, you gonna come in?
1663
01:58:50,557 --> 01:58:52,059
Yes, l am.
1664
01:58:57,497 --> 01:58:59,408
Merlin, the cell's locked.
How do I get in'?
1665
01:59:01,668 --> 01:59:03,238
26-25.
1666
01:59:07,574 --> 01:59:10,145
Merlin, you're the guvnor.
1667
01:59:12,345 --> 01:59:14,757
You awe me, Eggsy.
1668
01:59:20,353 --> 01:59:21,423
Eggsy?
1669
01:59:27,427 --> 01:59:29,100
Oh, my word.
1670
02:00:16,309 --> 02:00:19,153
Michelle, turn that shit off.
It's doing my nut in.
1671
02:00:20,146 --> 02:00:21,648
I rather like that song.
1672
02:00:22,182 --> 02:00:23,752
Leave it on,
eh, Mum?
1673
02:00:27,520 --> 02:00:29,431
Mugsy's back.
1674
02:00:29,556 --> 02:00:31,593
You've finally come
to have that word with me, have you, son?
1675
02:00:32,358 --> 02:00:33,666
Or are you gonna run away again...
1676
02:00:33,827 --> 02:00:35,397
and pretend you're going to court,
dressed like that?
1677
02:00:35,862 --> 02:00:37,239
Oh, you mean this?
1678
02:00:38,765 --> 02:00:40,073
No.
1679
02:00:40,700 --> 02:00:44,011
I know this bloke who's just taken over
a tailor shop on Savile Row.
1680
02:00:45,071 --> 02:00:46,675
He's given me a job, Mum.
1681
02:00:47,373 --> 02:00:48,681
It comes with a lot of perks.
1682
02:00:50,043 --> 02:00:51,386
Including a house.
1683
02:00:52,545 --> 02:00:54,388
Come and live with me there, Mum.
1684
02:00:54,948 --> 02:00:56,052
Come on.
1685
02:00:56,216 --> 02:00:56,921
Sit down, you.
1686
02:00:58,351 --> 02:01:00,524
Only place she'll be visiting
is you in fucking hospital.
1687
02:01:00,687 --> 02:01:02,462
- Do you hear?
- Just leave him alone, Dean!
1688
02:01:02,622 --> 02:01:04,898
Eggsy, just go
Please, just go, babe.
1689
02:01:06,359 --> 02:01:07,633
All right.
1690
02:01:07,794 --> 02:01:09,364
That's it,
do as Mummy says.
1691
02:01:09,529 --> 02:01:12,373
Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours,
and knock up a nice chicken costume.
1692
02:01:12,532 --> 02:01:13,909
It'll suit you,
you mug.
1693
02:01:16,136 --> 02:01:18,946
As a good friend once said...
1694
02:01:20,240 --> 02:01:21,378
"Manners...
1695
02:01:23,276 --> 02:01:24,254
"maketh...
1696
02:01:26,813 --> 02:01:27,814
"man ll
1697
02:01:28,715 --> 02:01:31,059
- Dean?
- Shut the fuck up.
1698
02:01:31,217 --> 02:01:33,629
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners
up your fucking..
1699
02:01:39,592 --> 02:01:40,468
So...
1700
02:01:40,827 --> 02:01:44,832
are we gonna stand around here all day,
or are we gonna fight?
122955
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof