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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:05,005 Rock music 2 00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:20,871 And the wolf said, "'Little pigs, little pigs, 3 00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,564 let me in.' 4 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,691 'Not by the hair of our chinny-chin-chin.' 5 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,651 'Then I'll huff and I'll puff 6 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,695 and I'll blow your house down.'" 7 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,655 Ohh! 8 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,532 "But the brick house wouldn't come down. 9 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,535 So the big, bad wolf climbed all the way up the roof, 10 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,704 he slid down the chimney, and then..." 11 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,874 Aooh-wuh-wuh-wuh-wuuu! 12 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:43,001 "The big, bad wolf fell into the pot of hot water 13 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,586 that the pigs had on the fire. 14 00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,338 And that was the end of the big, bad wolf. 15 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,674 And the pigs lived happily ever after." 16 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,135 You see 'em? One, two, 17 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,137 - three. - Hey. 18 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,057 - Hey. - How's he feeling? 19 00:00:57,098 --> 00:01:01,144 Oh, he's still congested and, uh, still awake. 20 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,979 Smells like my grandma's room in here. 21 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,065 Yeah. Yeah, slathered him in Vicks. 22 00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,817 Hey, you wanna tag out? 23 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,486 - I'll take a turn. - Uh-uh. 24 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,820 It's cool. I got him. 25 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,405 You get some sleep, all right? 26 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,908 Okay. I'm gonna pass out on the couch 27 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,534 to an episode of Bob Ross. 28 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,095 Oh. Bob Ross. 29 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,165 Feel better, my sweet baby boy. 30 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,666 Mmm. 31 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,252 - Thanks. - Yeah. 32 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,800 Okay, let's see what's next, what's next? 33 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,302 All right, we've... 34 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,055 I think we've read the... 35 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,616 just about every single one of these books. 36 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,600 But don't worry about it. 37 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,603 I got a better story for you, all right? 38 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:46,898 Soft music 39 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:51,111 How 'bout we tell you a real fairy tale story, huh? 40 00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:54,322 Now, once upon a time, 41 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,575 there was a little boy named Phillip Gallagher. 42 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,410 - Phillip. - It's, uh, Lip. 43 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,037 - I'm Lip... Phillip Gallagher. - Lip? 44 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:01,955 - Lip. - Is Lip around? 45 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:03,081 - Lip! - Lip. 46 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,457 - Phillip Gallagher? - It's Lip. 47 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,793 - Lip, my man. - Lip, muh boy. 48 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,795 Not gonna call ya Lip. Hope that's okay. 49 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,131 Gonna call you by your lovely God-given name... 50 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,799 - Phillip. - Okay. 51 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:13,967 After the prophet. 52 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,594 And Phillip... or Lip, 53 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,222 as his family and friends called him, 54 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:22,142 grew up in a magical castle, 55 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,602 and he was raised by a supportive 56 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,230 and loving family. 57 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,026 Fuck you, Frank! 58 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,279 Will you please take a drink and shut the fuck up? 59 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,697 Shut the fuck up! 60 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:37,049 Frank's passed out up in the bathroom. 61 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,032 - Fuck. - He dead? 62 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,284 Unfortunately not. 63 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,536 You gotta let kids learn for themselves. 64 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,996 They gonna fend for themselves? 65 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,498 You give a man a fish, you've fed him for a day. 66 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,476 Teach a man to fish, you've fed him for a lifetime. 67 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,877 I raised fisherman. 68 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,837 That's my fucking bike! 69 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,381 The best gift you can give... Neglect. 70 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,843 - Dad. - Son. 71 00:02:57,385 --> 00:03:00,096 A rooster in the henhouse. Rooster in the henhouse! 72 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,764 Hide the money! 73 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,450 - Morning, Grammy. - Morning, Grammy! 74 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,202 - Morning, Grams! - Hey, Gallagher. 75 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,312 Your mom's down at the station. Bring bail money. 76 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:11,482 Get the fucking key and get me out of here! 77 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,026 Just bailed Monica outta jail. 78 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,195 She let Carl play bumper cars with a Buick. 79 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,614 So you know Monica spent all the squirrel fund money? 80 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,949 The first rule you learn in this house... 81 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,451 You hide the goddamn money! 82 00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,720 Don't be mad at Fiona. Come on. 83 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,287 Hey, Monica, shut up. 84 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,681 You know what, like most of my life, 85 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,998 this has nothing to do with you. 86 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,041 Your son's a real prick. 87 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,378 Don't say Papa never gave ya a pet. 88 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,963 Fuck! 89 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,340 Eeew! 90 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,717 - Hey, Grammy. - Oh, my goodness. 91 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:41,429 I have never seen apple and spice looking so nice! 92 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,699 - How's it goin' in there? - Oh, the food's not so great, 93 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,391 but the pussy's pretty good. 94 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:46,517 Sounds all right. 95 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,394 Weren't Monica and Frank on acid 96 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,729 the whole time you were in vitro? 97 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,397 'Shrooms, mostly. 98 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,524 We had one kid on coke... Debbie. 99 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,526 - That was Carl. - No, Carl was E. 100 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,487 - Thought Liam was E. - Liam was acid. 101 00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:58,947 Don't you remember? 102 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,742 But we've never made a little rug rat on GHB. 103 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,830 Oh! Jesus Christ! 104 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,624 "Congratulations, Ian. 105 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,501 You are not Frank Gallagher's son." 106 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,253 You fucked my brother! 107 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,338 I like the idea of Monica cheating on Frank. 108 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,774 You know, it really keeps my image of you 109 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,383 right on track, Mom. 110 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,760 Honestly, sweetie, there was the summer of '95 111 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,887 that I did a lotta PCP... 112 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,264 - You did PCP? - And I... 113 00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,266 Without me? 114 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,244 Moni and I wanna take Liam to live with us. 115 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,769 - What? - No, out of the fucking 116 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,771 - question, Roberta. - Taking Liam? 117 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,022 - No! - No, nobody's 118 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,565 taking anyone anywhere. 119 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,527 I don't care what the fucking DNA test says. 120 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:40,071 - You're not taking Liam. - We having a problem, 121 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,448 - Phillip? - Let's see... you're camped out 122 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,575 in my house, you're fucking my mother, 123 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,095 and you're talking about stealing my baby brother. 124 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,620 Why would we have a problem? 125 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,622 - Hey, stop it! - Congratulations, Mom. 126 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,124 You always knew how to pick 'em. 127 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,601 Yeah, so please stay on your barstool 128 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,019 - and just keep drinking. - Come on! 129 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,628 - I've gotta walk away. - What?! 130 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,231 If I don't walk away, I'm gonna fucking hit him. 131 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,132 Bluesy rock music 132 00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,967 What the hell? 133 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,428 Fuck! 134 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,596 Next time you're thinkin' about dropping in, 135 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,390 don't. 136 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:08,993 You fucked up our lives 137 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,810 enough already. 138 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,440 At least I'm not getting trapped by some pregnant skank. 139 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,066 - Fuck you. - You'll probably quit 140 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,152 high school, huh, start working at Best Buy. 141 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,838 - Watch your fuckin' mouth! - I wonder how long it takes 142 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,572 before you start huffing glue? 143 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,991 Hey! Only one way to resolve this. 144 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,826 Somebody's gotta bleed. Fight it out. 145 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,995 See who's alpha wolf. 146 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:32,248 Rock music 147 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,334 Your mother... 148 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,002 was a real cunt. 149 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,044 Amen. 150 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,674 Wanna get a beer? 151 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,009 Yeah. 152 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,011 - Hey, Lip, I need your help. - Oh... busy! 153 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,637 Too busy to help your old man? 154 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,181 Yes. Forever. 155 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:49,700 - Movin' out again? - Fuck off. 156 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,517 I don't like the way I'm being talked to 157 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,245 - around my own house. - Let's go see if we can find 158 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,355 whatever gutter our responsible adult of a father 159 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,981 has crawled into this time. 160 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,667 "You never got me this, Dad, we never had that, Dad." 161 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,401 Yack, yack, fucking yack! 162 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,362 Lip, you're 21, right? 163 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,238 23, but that's fine. You're in the ballpark. 164 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,741 Surround sound bitching is the only thanks I get. 165 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,618 Life is hard. We all know that. 166 00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,578 Money is harder. 167 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,581 Do you even know how much we spend a week on groceries? 168 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,167 - Too much! - 120 bucks. 169 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,878 Fiona pays 70. Me and Ian go in 25 each. 170 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,840 You know how much you spend a month at the Alibi? 171 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,465 None a your damn business. 172 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,717 Over 700. 173 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,362 - Hey, you're back! - Let us have a bottle 174 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,553 of your good stuff. 175 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,721 I've got some money comin'. 176 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,391 Tomorrow, fuckhead! 177 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,644 A friend... dropped me off. 178 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,038 I don't need Kev to tell me. 179 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,356 Check your pockets every night. 180 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,818 You better run! 181 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,739 I gotta go, but save some for me, will ya, Debs? 182 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,321 - Yeah, okay. - It's essential 183 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,240 that families share meals together. 184 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,493 - Oh, don't, oh... - Mmm! 185 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,203 - Great, Debs. - Thanks. 186 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,597 I won't say it twice. Go home. 187 00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:54,747 What? 188 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,541 I won't say it twi... 189 00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,378 Why do you two keep harping on the past? 190 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,172 This is why your lives are so messed up! 191 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,633 Oh, yeah. That's the reason. 192 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,052 Daddy's home! Come on, lads. 193 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,138 Let's go upstairs, take a disco nap. 194 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,931 Charge, charge! 195 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,308 Shit! Just go... go! 196 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:15,893 Just pick a bed, fellas. 197 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,728 Just pick a bed. Ohh. 198 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,773 - What the hell are you doing? - Get the fuck outta here! 199 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,108 You are not sleeping! 200 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,610 After everything I have done for you, 201 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,446 this is the thanks I get? 202 00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,072 Jesus Chriiiist... 203 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,532 Uhh! 204 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,118 Not funny. Not funny at all. 205 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,037 - Da! - Now... 206 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,290 because of his privileged upbringing, 207 00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:40,918 little Lip was able to focus his attentions on schoolwork 208 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,296 and extracurricular activities. 209 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:45,715 Go! Go, go, go! 210 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:48,634 Rock music 211 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,970 Get outta the way, get outta the way! 212 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,430 Move it! 213 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,307 Jesus, whatever happened to fat, 214 00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:57,018 donut-eating cops? Now they're all triathletes! 215 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,499 - Ah... - Break it down! 216 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,980 Shit! 217 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,065 - Yo, Kev. - Hey. 218 00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,276 Is it cool if we put Fiona's name on your W2? 219 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,528 Sure. What's a W2? 220 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,572 Hmm? 221 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,991 Forty-third and Alstead. Bring the crowbar. 222 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,537 - Wow. - Ha ha ha ha ha! 223 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,457 Here we go. 224 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,226 Hey, I wanna stage another fight night next week. 225 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:25,129 Rock music 226 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,131 Go around to the dojos, 227 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,484 round up some more scrappers, all right? 228 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,344 Frozen Snickers, bag a Beer Nuts, 229 00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:32,970 and couple of joints. 230 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,639 You 14? Got ID? 231 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,645 You know how to hack a voicemail? 232 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,021 Probably. 233 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,149 I want you to give me 50 or GFY. 234 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,526 GFY? 235 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:53,032 Less ogling, more hacking. 236 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,701 Is this the club where Wilco's gonna play a secret concert? 237 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:56,869 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's, uh, 238 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,829 20 bucks, self-park, 30 valet. 239 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,165 Thought you wanted this. Quickest grand you ever made. 240 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,918 Buyer was thrilled... said you should moonlight for the NSA. 241 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,545 So what are you workin' on this summer? 242 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,981 Um, I'm working on this device that reads credit card numbers 243 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,423 off of parking kiosks. 244 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,092 Using a magnetic stripe reader? 245 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,969 Oh, no. It's all done over WiFi now. 246 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:16,180 Why aren't you working on my project? 247 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,890 When you're poor, only way to make money 248 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,809 is to steal it or scam it. 249 00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,727 Like Don King or Joe Kennedy. 250 00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,271 All right, here ya go. 251 00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,606 It's 50 bucks a head. $400. 252 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,525 This man stole our jobs? 253 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,278 No, no, I didn't steal them. I just underbid you. 254 00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,198 But we are illegal immigrants. How can you underbid us? 255 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,367 - Gutter white's the new brown. - The what? 256 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,660 The new brown. 257 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,221 - Come on! - You got her? 258 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,705 Oh... go! 259 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,748 The real Aunt Ginger lost a toe. 260 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:45,751 Somebody's gotta snip it. Who wants to do the honors? 261 00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:49,439 I'm taking the PSATs for some Polish kid 262 00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,048 over in Ridgedale. 263 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,693 He's supposed to give me like a hundred bucks. 264 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,176 Mr. Gallagher. 265 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,097 - What? - Do you know the answer? 266 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,059 Lip's been expelled. - Expelled? 267 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,287 Threw a chair through a window. 268 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,271 The answer is fuck you! 269 00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,068 You are finishing high school! 270 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,403 I've done a year more than you. 271 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,047 - This isn't about me. - So, what, you want me 272 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,948 to bust my ass? Get a diploma 273 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,576 and a high-paying job so I can buy you all houses and shit 274 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,494 while you lay around doing fuck-all? 275 00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,954 I'm down for that. 276 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,290 Why's that on me, huh? 277 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,334 Oh, because I've done all right on some tests? 278 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,294 No. I'll pull my weight, 279 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,630 but I'm not gonna be the fucking golden goose! 280 00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:34,800 Moody music 281 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,927 And when he was in high school, 282 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:40,264 he met a beautiful princess. 283 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,102 Take it easy! 284 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,479 Get the fuck outta my house! 285 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,189 Hi. I'm Karen Jackson. 286 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,149 I mean... Daddyz Girl. 287 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,155 And the two of them dated... 288 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,659 and they were voted Homecoming King and Queen. 289 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,470 Yeah! Oh, yeah, give it to me! 290 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,828 - Oh, yeah. - Ohh! 291 00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,747 - Give it to me! - Want me to give it to you? 292 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,083 - Yes. - Yeah, she said 293 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,584 she wants you to give it to her, 294 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,866 So just give it to her already! 295 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:16,676 Funky music 296 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,680 You whore! 297 00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,807 What are we doing here? 298 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,518 Seriously, from, uh, my vantage point, 299 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,037 looks like we're on the verge of fucking. 300 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,230 No, I mean you and me. What are we? 301 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,856 We've always been friends. 302 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,485 - Hi, Frank. - Shit! Karen! 303 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,029 Funky music 304 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,369 Whoa! Oh... 305 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,745 What do you think now, Daddy? 306 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,247 Am I still a whore? 307 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,251 Mother of God! 308 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,048 - Oh, fuck! - Oh! 309 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,721 - Ahh! - Ohh! 310 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,139 Ahh... 311 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,391 - Where ya goin'? - Karen's. 312 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:08,394 Karen Jackson? After that thing with your dad? 313 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,896 I have something to tell you. 314 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:14,150 What? Finally gonna let me plow the back fields? 315 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,693 You already are. 316 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,528 Oh, shit! Sorry. Um... 317 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,738 It's okay. 318 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,240 - I like it. - Oh. Ha. 319 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,409 I wouldn't necessarily call it an orgy, 320 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:26,579 but there were a lot of naked body parts flying around. 321 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,914 And then there was the time at Mindy Carlson's sleepover 322 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,750 when her mom walked in and freaked out 323 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,418 when she saw Mindy in the shower 324 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,795 with a big, black strap-on dildo. 325 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,422 So what'd you wanna tell me? 326 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,716 I'm pretty sure that Jody's gonna propose. 327 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,093 We can't have sex anymore. 328 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,762 Oh. 329 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:44,054 Mandy! 330 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,641 Missed me, huh? 331 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,602 I bet you could get any guy into bed, huh? 332 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,271 Yeah. Why? 333 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,943 Hey. Hey, you okay? 334 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,571 - Uhh! - Oh, sh... 335 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,115 Why the fuck was Mandy Milkovich at my house 336 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,242 trying to screw Jody? 337 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,286 He turned her down and told me what happened. 338 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,954 Yeah, 'cause he's a fucking pussy. 339 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,582 Fuck you! Stay the fuck away from me, 340 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,043 and stay the fuck away from this baby! 341 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,549 Why can't I just get a C-section? 342 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,569 - You're too far along, sweetie. - Sometimes Mother Nature 343 00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,886 has other plans, honey. 344 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,638 Fuck Mother Nature. 345 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,407 She doesn't have to worry about her vagina getting stretched. 346 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:28,641 - Ow! - You were already 347 00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,935 pretty stretched out down there, Karen. 348 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,176 That thing looks weird. 349 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,499 - And he's Asian. - Maybe we're just 350 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,316 looking at him upside down. 351 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,655 So it's looking serious about Mandy Skankovich. 352 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,114 Nice. 353 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,659 Oh, shit, Mandy. I'm sorry. 354 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,661 You know I woulda never said that to your face. 355 00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:50,704 I know you're seeing Lip, but like I told him, 356 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,165 I think it's great. 357 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,335 What? I came by last Tuesday to say hi. 358 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:59,213 She's a skanky, manipulative bitch. 359 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,257 Why don't you just dump her? 360 00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:02,883 - Less talking, more riding. - Oh! 361 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,804 Fuck you too! 362 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,435 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 363 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:17,439 Your current girlfriend ran over your ex-girlfriend? 364 00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,125 I don't know... I don't... I don't know what she's capable of. 365 00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,609 Dude, you're at DEFCON 1. 366 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,194 You need to get the fuck outta there. 367 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,863 We haven't had sex in over a week. 368 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:26,490 Whatever you do, do not... 369 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,701 do not let her bone you. 370 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,788 The fuck?! 371 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:36,125 You belong here with me, 372 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,377 not with that fucking vegetable. 373 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,758 Oh, let me take a look at you, buddy. 374 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,552 Aw, shoot. 375 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,405 You got all this green gunk comin' outta your nose. 376 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:51,223 Come on, let's see if we can get rid a that, huh? 377 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,766 Here we go. 378 00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,685 All right. 379 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,729 How's that? 380 00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,355 Huh? 381 00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,066 Is that helping your cute little congested nose? 382 00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,277 Hey, you wanna hear some more of my story? 383 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,737 Huh? 384 00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,488 Yeah, you do? 385 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:09,325 All right, let's do it. Um... 386 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,118 Well, eventually, 387 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,580 Lip graduated from high school, 388 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:18,000 and he left the comfort of his family and community 389 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,252 to go off to college. 390 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,714 Fuck me! 391 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,674 That's what I was doing! 392 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:26,675 Shit! 393 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,761 Uh... eh... What... 394 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,262 Lord have Mercy! 395 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,597 Okay. 396 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,935 Before we delve too deeply into... 397 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,897 Problems of modernity, let me remind you... 398 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,274 Nine a.m. 399 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,777 And social... 400 00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,862 I don't plan on keeping you that long. 401 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,280 I try to make a point 402 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,799 of not banging my roommate's girlfriend. 403 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,784 You were hoping I'd be here. 404 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,042 Excuse me, guys. 405 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,336 Forgot my Spinoza. 406 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,380 I-I-I'm so sorry. Just let me explain. 407 00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:05,965 - It's... it's okay. - I-I'm really... 408 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,133 You don't need to be sorry. I owe you one. 409 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:09,593 We're cool? 410 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,679 Best part about getting a blow job from Amanda... 411 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,264 Ten minutes of silence. Come on, dude. 412 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,266 End chords 413 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,852 rock music 414 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,437 These are my parents. 415 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,815 - They're white. - Yeah, I can... see that. 416 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:25,234 Well, they bought me from a Subic Bay whorehouse, so... 417 00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,485 go Navy! 418 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,170 I don't understand my grade on this paper. 419 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,992 You tried to be clever, but there were 420 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,095 no compelling insights or any attempt at original thought. 421 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,789 Original thought on Byron's Childe Harold's Pilgrimage? 422 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,291 Look, nobody's had an original thought on Childe Harold 423 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,627 since Queen Victoria was still getting laid. 424 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,424 The house mother for my sorority 425 00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:49,859 is interviewing for house boy today. 426 00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,677 Now, you are not allowed to use the bathroom 427 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,196 on the upper levels. - The room, though, 428 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,823 - it's here in the house? - Hey, do you want 429 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,181 any company later? 430 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,783 It can get kinda creepy in the basement. 431 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,768 Uh... 432 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,894 yeah. 433 00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:02,771 Ah... 434 00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,732 Who was that... Antonia? 435 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,817 - Me. - Let's do this. 436 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,820 Funky music 437 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,238 You're fired, obviously. 438 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,824 Why? I kinda blacked out. I... 439 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,909 Not before you took all the group sorority photos 440 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,953 off the wall and used a marker to circle 441 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,329 all the girls that you slept with. 442 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,331 I did that? 443 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,934 When I told you you had to leave, 444 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,436 you, uh, decided to mark your territory. 445 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,336 You peed on the carpet. 446 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,505 The, uh, carpets weren't the final target 447 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,715 of your yellow tsunami. 448 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,884 Where else? 449 00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:34,053 Not where. Who. 450 00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,721 I peed on you. 451 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,639 I'll be out in an hour. 452 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:38,724 Yeah. 453 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,650 You're disrupting the midterm. 454 00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:51,070 I know, sorry. I'm a few minutes late. 455 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,738 Six minutes. 456 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,074 I'm sure next test, you'll leave plenty of extra time 457 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,992 and arrive early. 458 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,372 What the fuck was that for? 459 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,291 Making me fall in love with you. 460 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,376 I didn't make you do anything. 461 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:10,547 Yes, you did, because you're so fucking... you! 462 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,299 Oh, fuck! 463 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,009 Aah! 464 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,642 Thank you. 465 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:24,228 It was there that he met 466 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:27,481 two of the most influential people in his life. 467 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,316 They were role models 468 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,861 who showed Lip how to be a productive 469 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:36,281 and moral member of the human race. 470 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,587 - Fuck happened? - Drove into a house. 471 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,464 Kill anybody? 472 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,467 According to Horkheimer, was nothing short of liberation 473 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,053 from the circumstances that a... 474 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,680 - Hey, sorry, uh... - You're late. 475 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,140 Yeah, I couldn't find the building. 476 00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,808 It's the third class, 477 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,685 so you're a week and ten minutes late. 478 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:06,228 - What'd I miss? - Do you even know 479 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,105 what critical theory is? 480 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,398 Question everything, 481 00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,567 uh, why things are the way they are. 482 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:12,943 Why they should be different. 483 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,070 Uh, you know, it's the only thing I'm good at... 484 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,990 Calling bullshit. 485 00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:20,450 Mellow rock 486 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,166 No... don't stop. 487 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,973 Oh, your husband's sitting in the corner of the room. 488 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,309 Hello. 489 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,935 What's he doing? 490 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,437 Just waiting for us to finish 491 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,856 so he can come to bed. 492 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,192 This must be strange for you. 493 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,170 A little bit, yeah, it's a little... it's a little strange. 494 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,362 So my husband says to meet him at 59th 495 00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,198 and Dorchester, and he'll give you a ride. 496 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:12,002 - Talk dirty to me. - Okay. 497 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,962 Um... I'm gonna slap you with my big dick 498 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,881 and come all over your face. 499 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,258 Jesus. Maybe not that dirty. 500 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,844 Oh, never mind, never mind. 501 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,387 - I'm gonna come anyway. - All right. 502 00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,765 Helené, she's got my head all messed up. 503 00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,683 It's not your lady professor. 504 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,061 - It's that. - What, the booze? 505 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,687 You seen how much I pour down my gullet? 506 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,356 I went down on my professor. 507 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,900 Oh! What's his name? 508 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,069 You take his whole dick in your mouth? 509 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:41,073 I heard... she might be fucking somebody new. 510 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:45,244 - Did you fuck her? - What? 511 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,746 Did you fuck her? 512 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,123 You beat up Dylan? 513 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,935 - You beat up my son? - I didn't know he was your son! 514 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,670 - Are you out of your mind? - Professor? Tiffany Thomas! 515 00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:57,798 Yeah, I was in your Intro to Ethics last semester. 516 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,177 - Jesus. - Remember this. 517 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,429 We have only two jobs on this earth. 518 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:07,766 The first, to learn. 519 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,893 The second, to cope. 520 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,728 Professor Youens. 521 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,438 Hey, morning. 522 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:20,237 Uh, listen up. Professor Youens has been detained. 523 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,571 Now, for a well-behaved function, 524 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,615 there's always an nth-degree polynomial... 525 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,760 take you to an error curve that oscillates back and forth 526 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,743 between positive epsilon... 527 00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:28,161 Thank you, Mr. Gallagher. 528 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,790 You... 529 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:34,626 should consider teaching. 530 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,295 Is it that hard to believe 531 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:37,605 that someone thinks you have a bright future 532 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,464 and wants to help you get there? 533 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,174 You need to get used to it, Lip. 534 00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,802 Just met with my buddy Kurt Freund 535 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,512 over at Chapman Energy Systems. 536 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,306 - Oh, yeah? - I got you an internship 537 00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:48,974 with him for next summer. 538 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:50,642 Yeah, I'm not really an internship guy. 539 00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,477 You know, you have a choice right now 540 00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:53,979 to recognize that you are 541 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,522 a promising young college student, 542 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,274 not some ghetto outlaw. 543 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,736 Where'd you get that? 544 00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:03,280 Some girl Tweeted it. 545 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,785 How the fuck could you send out that picture of Helené? 546 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,121 You shouldn't have screwed me over. 547 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,998 I never made any fucking promises to you! 548 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,333 Yes, you fucking well did! 549 00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,418 With your eyes... 550 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,171 and your smile and your cock! 551 00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,256 - Helené? - Don't follow me. 552 00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:24,634 Stay away from my home, my husband, my son. 553 00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,470 Fuck! 554 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:29,181 Professor Runyon? That was you? 555 00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:31,016 Jesus Christ! You saw it too? 556 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,577 I'd say that's some elephant-sized shit 557 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,518 hittin' the fan. 558 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,978 Yeah. 559 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,564 You just fucking come out and you talk to me! 560 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:39,733 Helené! 561 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,110 - Excuse us. - What, what, fucking what? 562 00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:46,365 You smell like a distillery. 563 00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:48,408 You're losing your shit. Go home, sober up! 564 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,535 I changed your shirt 565 00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:53,538 when you woke up covered in your own vomit. 566 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:55,916 I helped you shave your face before your faculty meeting 567 00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:57,542 'cause your hand was so fucking shaky! 568 00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:59,520 You need to stop talking now, Lip... you're doing damage 569 00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:01,129 - to yourself. - You don't give a shit 570 00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,507 about me. You don't give a shit about me 571 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,550 because you don't have to... right? 572 00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:07,552 You're just sittin' pretty in your ivory tower, 573 00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:09,388 and I'm a fucking insect crawling on the wall 574 00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:11,390 till you squash me, right? 575 00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:13,683 What, 'cause that makes you feel fucking powerful? 576 00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,519 'Cause you fucked up your own life, 577 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,063 and you fucking hate yourself for it. 578 00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,148 And I was your ticket outta the gutter, pal, 579 00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,483 and you just blew it. 580 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,859 You're officially fuckin' fired! 581 00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,903 Fuck you! Fuck you! 582 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,696 Fuck you, fuck... God... 583 00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,407 Fuck you! 584 00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,325 You like that, motherfucker? 585 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:31,910 Oh, you feel that shit? 586 00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,745 Fuck you, Youens! 587 00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:36,415 Hey! Hey, what the hell are you doin'? 588 00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:38,458 What the fuck? 589 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,422 Fuck off! 590 00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:44,631 - Fuck! Shit! - Don't move! 591 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,760 At that university, 592 00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:50,971 it was his exemplary actions 593 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:52,472 and behavior 594 00:23:52,514 --> 00:23:54,266 that laid the foundation 595 00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:56,768 for his future life in diversity. 596 00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,538 So you can help me get a job? Gotta get a job. 597 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:00,081 I came to get the details about the job. 598 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,232 The first day a work, you'll be cryin' like a baby. 599 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,584 I'm guessing they're planning on having us 600 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:05,253 dump toxic waste someplace where toxic waste 601 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,778 should not be dumped. 602 00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,756 - I think I tweaked my back. - You're not gunnin' for 603 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,550 - Workman's Comp, are ya, kid? - No, I-I just... 604 00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,576 Good. 'Cause the comp stands for competition 605 00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:14,536 from the Mexicans who all want your job. 606 00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,204 - Aah! - Next man up. 607 00:24:16,246 --> 00:24:17,956 - Phillip, Tito. Senior Intern. - Hey. 608 00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:19,058 You can start by getting coffee. 609 00:24:19,082 --> 00:24:20,292 Four double shots of expresso. 610 00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:21,477 He doesn't like to take the goggles off. 611 00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:22,627 Copy that. 612 00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:24,963 - Gotta piss! - Oh, that's you, man. 613 00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:26,965 You're changing his piss bag. 614 00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:33,972 No one move. The premises is under federal investigation. 615 00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:35,783 - What's going on? - They're seizing the servers. 616 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,160 Thought you said this was legal! 617 00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,477 Yeah, I guess not. 618 00:24:38,518 --> 00:24:40,228 I could use a job. 619 00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:41,771 Could use another dishwasher. 620 00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,648 - Shit! - You sure about this? 621 00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,334 I mean, WiFi is a little out of my comfort zone. 622 00:24:45,358 --> 00:24:47,128 It's time to get a piece of the action. 623 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,029 They don't suspect a fucking thing. 624 00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:50,864 The system's down. You think they're onto us? 625 00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:52,782 No, no, no, the website just went back online. 626 00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,385 - It probably just crashed. - Okay, let me know 627 00:24:54,409 --> 00:24:56,828 - when it's back up. - All right, I'm on it. 628 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:58,222 How long till we're up and running again? 629 00:24:58,246 --> 00:24:59,998 - We're shut down. - Fuck me. 630 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,791 You... take care of Rocky! 631 00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:03,960 Take care of Rocky! 632 00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:09,591 - Oh, my God... - Hey, stop! 633 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:10,967 This is my job! 634 00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:13,678 So what qualifies you to be a sober companion? 635 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,515 I know how a drunk thinks. 636 00:25:20,393 --> 00:25:22,854 Here we go. Virgin Bloody Mary. 637 00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:24,981 - Are you positive it's virgin? - It's absolutely, 638 00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:26,900 one hundred percent a virgin. 639 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,611 - Oh, my God! - You told Fred the waiter 640 00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:31,047 that a virgin meant to make it a double 641 00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:32,697 when I was in the bathroom. 642 00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,955 All right, Fredtastic. 643 00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:42,958 Let's get you outta here before we both melt, huh? 644 00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:45,043 There we go. 645 00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,479 Come on, come on, come on. 646 00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,046 Chh, chh, chh, chh, chh, chh, chh. 647 00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:51,883 Chh-chh-chh, chh-chh-chh, chh-chh-chh. 648 00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:54,386 All right, handsome. 649 00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:57,973 Let's go ahead and prop you up right here, all right? 650 00:25:58,014 --> 00:26:01,059 That will help you breathe a little bit better. 651 00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:03,395 Right? Hopefully. 652 00:26:03,436 --> 00:26:05,897 Get you nice and comfy. 653 00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:09,276 There we go now. 654 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,613 Now I want you to try and rest your eyes, okay? 655 00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:16,908 Try and rest your eyes, get some sleep, huh? 656 00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:21,246 You know, if I was anything like your Granddad Frank, 657 00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:25,667 I'd give you some special magic juice to go to sleep. 658 00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:28,336 You know, that's what he used to give me when I was little. 659 00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:31,590 Which is why I liked that special magic juice 660 00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:33,633 so much when I got older. 661 00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:37,262 But I'm not gonna do that to you, 662 00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:39,264 all right? 663 00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:43,268 That "like father, like son" tradition ends right here. 664 00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:45,353 Why you gotta be such an asshole? 665 00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:46,675 Apple fell where you dropped it. 666 00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:49,774 Push-ups. 10 bucks in. 667 00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:51,443 - My kid'll hold. - 20. 668 00:26:51,484 --> 00:26:52,527 Thank you. 669 00:26:52,569 --> 00:26:53,778 And go! 670 00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:54,904 One... 671 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:56,615 seven, eight... 672 00:26:56,656 --> 00:26:58,825 Nine! Bobby's done. 673 00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,244 32... 674 00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,871 Oh! 675 00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:06,916 Hey, can I get another shot? 676 00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:08,668 Hey, can I get another? 677 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,795 - Whoa! - You look like shit. 678 00:27:10,837 --> 00:27:12,922 Lookin' like a chip off the old block there, son. 679 00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:17,528 - You're just like me. - You hear me? 680 00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:18,720 I'm not my fucking dad! 681 00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:20,972 Are you supposed to give valium to a baby? 682 00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,474 It always worked with you. 683 00:27:22,515 --> 00:27:24,225 Try a speedball after a bender. 684 00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,144 Next day, you'll be movin' like a pro. 685 00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:27,729 - Dine 'n dash? - Bite and bolt. 686 00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:28,938 Take the front door. 687 00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:30,398 Do you think, in his own way, 688 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,400 Frank's actually a pretty good dad? 689 00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:33,735 No. 690 00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,129 I remember the first time 691 00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:36,613 - I brought you here. - Fuck you! 692 00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:37,989 You never took me skating. 693 00:27:38,031 --> 00:27:39,783 Gallaghers do not puke. 694 00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:41,576 Domino effect! 695 00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:44,412 - Oh! - Ohh! 696 00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:47,082 Okay, now, where were we, huh? 697 00:27:47,123 --> 00:27:49,125 What were we talkin' about? 698 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:50,752 We were, um... 699 00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:53,672 with Lip in college, right? 700 00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:55,757 Now, when Lip was done with school, 701 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:59,511 like many millennials, he moved home 702 00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:03,473 to the comfort and stability of his family and neighborhood. 703 00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:08,687 Hey, nicely done, Deb. 704 00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,355 Great job! 705 00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:13,316 Can someone help me get down, please, for fuck's sake! 706 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:14,984 Lookin' for some workers 707 00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:16,695 to help with a home masonry project. 708 00:28:16,736 --> 00:28:18,822 - Frank? - Pickax... sledge hammer. 709 00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:23,803 What the fuck? 710 00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:25,161 Aah! 711 00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:27,997 Honestly, I feel like I'm rolling. 712 00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:30,375 Did you spike our fuckin' drinks? 713 00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,502 Yeah, with Molly. It's a party. 714 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:33,854 This is how you help me stay sober? 715 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,231 She was acting in your best interests. 716 00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:37,507 I don't know why I'm even surprised. 717 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,901 I'm surprised... I mean, since when 718 00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:40,635 have they ever shared their drugs? 719 00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,887 This is how you get down, get down to it 720 00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:45,098 This is how you get down, get down to it 721 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,685 Fuck. Epic party. 722 00:28:48,727 --> 00:28:51,229 No reason not to keep it goin'. 723 00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,397 Wakey, wakey. 724 00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:56,359 Monica? 725 00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:58,153 Monica? Come on, sweetheart. 726 00:28:58,194 --> 00:28:59,904 Come on. Come on, open your eyes. 727 00:28:59,946 --> 00:29:01,114 Come on! 728 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,490 She shit herself? 729 00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:03,968 People shit themselves when they die. 730 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:06,035 - So she's dead. - Yes. 731 00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:08,204 - Drug overdose? - Massive cerebral hemorrhage. 732 00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:09,598 All that's Monica's stuff? 733 00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:11,416 Anybody got a rock and a lighter? 734 00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:13,084 What's the tag say? 735 00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:14,377 Monica had a storage unit? 736 00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:17,881 Your inheritance. 737 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:19,758 Frank found seven pounds of meth 738 00:29:19,799 --> 00:29:22,051 in some shitty storage locker 739 00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:23,738 that Monica had, and now he wants to sell it. 740 00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:26,598 It's like a family heirloom... Only drugs. 741 00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:28,075 And it's getting flushed down the toilet! 742 00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:32,061 Nobody flushes $70,000' worth of maternal bequest. 743 00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:33,271 -How much? 744 00:29:33,313 --> 00:29:34,731 - Lip. - What? 745 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,275 I moved your meth. 746 00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:39,319 Got your Monica Franklins. 747 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,196 Smoked up all my meth. 748 00:29:41,237 --> 00:29:43,072 Got over your mother, and now I'm a new man. 749 00:29:43,114 --> 00:29:44,449 Hey! 750 00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:47,118 You're the little fuckers who stole my meth. 751 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,120 - Aw, shit! - Hey, wait... 752 00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:51,956 Fuckin' Monica, fuckin' up our lives, even in death. 753 00:29:51,998 --> 00:29:54,793 This meth head doesn't know where we live. 754 00:29:54,834 --> 00:29:56,085 Hey! 755 00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:57,086 Yo! 756 00:29:57,128 --> 00:29:58,630 Uhh! 757 00:29:58,671 --> 00:30:00,757 Either she smoked it, she sold it, 758 00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,300 or her fucked-up family stole it. 759 00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:03,968 And in any one of those scenarios, 760 00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:07,472 I am still owed 70 fuckin' grand! 761 00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:08,908 - You could tell us... - Just tell us 762 00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,159 what you did with the last two pounds of meth. 763 00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,410 Is this the part where you lecture us? 764 00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:12,828 'Cause if you could just speed it up a little... 765 00:30:12,852 --> 00:30:14,205 You wanna be a smartass, you want my help? 766 00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:15,188 I was right. 767 00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:16,189 I was right! 768 00:30:16,231 --> 00:30:18,149 I was super fuckin' right! 769 00:30:18,191 --> 00:30:19,943 You were right, and I was wrong, Fiona. 770 00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:21,653 Now, can you please 771 00:30:21,694 --> 00:30:23,047 tell us where you put the rest of the drugs 772 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,448 so that motherfucker doesn't eat your eyeballs too. 773 00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:27,283 We're gonna need a lotta shovels. 774 00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:28,868 Punchy notes 775 00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:31,955 Ugh! This is some seriously sick shit. 776 00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:34,374 Yeah, no joke, Fiona. 777 00:30:34,415 --> 00:30:36,095 Oh, God... who buries her mother with meth? 778 00:30:39,754 --> 00:30:42,382 Rock music 779 00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:49,389 Go, go! Go! 780 00:30:49,430 --> 00:30:52,392 - Go! - Oh, my God! 781 00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:58,439 Oh, careful, Carl. Don't go too deep, all right? 782 00:30:59,232 --> 00:31:03,027 Yeah 783 00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:14,539 - Now - 784 00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:17,208 rock music 785 00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:22,714 - What is that smell? - That stench? 786 00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:25,842 That's Monica. And if you come near my family, 787 00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:29,053 as God is my witness, I will bury you with her. 788 00:31:29,095 --> 00:31:32,223 And by this time, 789 00:31:32,265 --> 00:31:36,227 Lip became an upstanding member of the community 790 00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:39,731 and contributed to the betterment of society. 791 00:31:39,772 --> 00:31:43,359 Eight hours a day 792 00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:46,237 Forty hours a week 793 00:31:47,822 --> 00:31:49,449 Jesus, what the hell, Lip? 794 00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:51,570 What, you never learned how to throw a fucking punch? 795 00:31:56,372 --> 00:31:57,874 Oh, that's it? Ohh! 796 00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:00,418 Oh, damn! 797 00:32:01,794 --> 00:32:03,514 - Come here! - Easy, easy, easy! 798 00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:16,351 He'd grown into a strapping young man 799 00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:18,686 who was ready to face the world 800 00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:20,772 and make something of himself. 801 00:32:20,813 --> 00:32:22,453 This is what happens when your entire life 802 00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,192 goes completely to shit. 803 00:32:24,233 --> 00:32:25,693 Wanna do something silly and stupid? 804 00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:27,236 It's cool if I, uh, wear this? 805 00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:28,297 Long as you wear nothing else. 806 00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:29,906 - Go! - No... no! 807 00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:32,575 I kinda have to stay soberish. 808 00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,953 Why? You driving heavy machinery later tonight? 809 00:32:34,994 --> 00:32:37,038 If your vagina's heavy machinery, then yeah, I am. 810 00:32:39,666 --> 00:32:42,001 This is gonna be funny. 811 00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,687 Hi, Lip. Are you gonna have sex with my sister? 812 00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:45,171 - Ha... - I'm glad you're 813 00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:46,815 - her new boyfriend. - I'm not her boyfriend. 814 00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:47,983 You gonna keep it fun and casual? 815 00:32:48,007 --> 00:32:50,009 I could casually go down on you later. 816 00:32:50,051 --> 00:32:52,136 Bring your tongue. 817 00:32:52,178 --> 00:32:54,138 Oh, fucking hell. 818 00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:55,431 Don't forget anal. 819 00:32:57,016 --> 00:32:58,935 We're not doing anal. 820 00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,245 - Unbelievable. - You never heard of 821 00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:01,562 female ejaculation? 822 00:33:01,604 --> 00:33:03,314 That's the white whale! 823 00:33:03,356 --> 00:33:05,775 Every guys dreams of it, but only a few ever get the chance. 824 00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,986 Oh, no, I-I just thought it was a myth. 825 00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:09,487 Jesus, you think I get goosebumps 826 00:33:09,529 --> 00:33:11,322 every time you whip out your magic cock? 827 00:33:11,364 --> 00:33:13,658 Ah. Mind... blown. 828 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:15,326 Sounds fun. 829 00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:16,995 - You've been drinking? - No. Hey. 830 00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:18,263 I already have one out-of-control addict 831 00:33:18,287 --> 00:33:20,790 in my life... I don't need two. 832 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,184 Hey, man, are we in the north side? 833 00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:23,626 You broke into my home? 834 00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:24,836 - What? - Get some help. 835 00:33:24,877 --> 00:33:26,004 Please get help. 836 00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:30,675 Coming in, buddy? 837 00:33:34,929 --> 00:33:37,199 I woke up this morning feeling like I really needed a drink. 838 00:33:37,223 --> 00:33:38,474 Good with your hands? 839 00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:41,477 Rock music 840 00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:43,980 - Hi. - Fuck off, runt. 841 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,065 You gonna fix that bike or fuck it? 842 00:33:46,107 --> 00:33:48,210 - What's your problem? - He's been yappin' about ass 843 00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:49,861 - nonstop. - You gotta stay busy, man. 844 00:33:49,902 --> 00:33:52,405 I need some fuckin' pussy! 845 00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:54,699 Get upstairs. Now. 846 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,368 Rock music 847 00:33:57,410 --> 00:33:59,203 Oh... 848 00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:02,683 Think you can hit me a little less? 849 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:03,916 Shut up! 850 00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:06,210 - Ohh, damn it! - Say it, bitch! 851 00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:08,838 - See you at the shop, runt. - Yeah... uh... 852 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,232 You know you got a little scratch on your... 853 00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:11,591 Hey, piss off. 854 00:34:13,092 --> 00:34:14,802 You ever hear of a safe word? 855 00:34:14,844 --> 00:34:16,179 Yeah. How 'bout stop? 856 00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:17,638 Ooh... 857 00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:21,225 Shit! 858 00:34:21,267 --> 00:34:22,560 Oh! 859 00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:23,895 Should we help 'em? 860 00:34:23,936 --> 00:34:25,480 Sounds voluntary. 861 00:34:25,521 --> 00:34:27,857 - Barb? - Oh, hey, hi. 862 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,192 - Hey. - How's it going, man? 863 00:34:29,233 --> 00:34:30,419 - It's all right. - Have a seat. 864 00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,528 Thanks. Uh... 865 00:34:32,570 --> 00:34:33,756 Thanks for... for meeting me, you know. 866 00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,907 Brad spoke very highly of you, so... 867 00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:38,367 I-I didn't know I could have a woman as a sponsor. 868 00:34:38,409 --> 00:34:40,119 Oh, yeah. Anybody's a sponsor as long as 869 00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:43,122 there is no risk of falling in love with that person. 870 00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:45,583 Well, you never know, right? 871 00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:47,543 Ah... fat chance, honey. 872 00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:50,797 So... what are we doing here? 873 00:34:50,838 --> 00:34:53,424 Uh, well... 874 00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:55,885 I-I got some shit goin' on, you know. 875 00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,012 I got this professor. He got carted off to prison. 876 00:34:58,054 --> 00:34:59,305 Come on, you have court today. 877 00:34:59,347 --> 00:35:00,890 I got this ex who's dating this guy 878 00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,618 who just got some other girl pregnant, so... 879 00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,770 I'm sorry, did I just walk into an episode of Gossip Girl? 880 00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:07,355 I-I'm sharing, you know. 881 00:35:07,396 --> 00:35:09,482 - Where's Eddie? - She quit. 882 00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:11,818 Took off for Cabo with some guy she met at Sturgis. 883 00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:14,129 - She coming back for the kid? - Should call Social Services 884 00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:15,756 - to come pick her up. - Why don't you come stay 885 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:17,782 - with me for a couple days? - That'd be cool. 886 00:35:17,824 --> 00:35:19,117 Coming? 887 00:35:22,745 --> 00:35:24,622 - Say hi, Ted. - Hey. 888 00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:25,915 Oh, hell, no. Bye, Ted. 889 00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,376 - Hey! - He has a beard. 890 00:35:28,417 --> 00:35:29,544 - How do I look? - Stupid. 891 00:35:29,585 --> 00:35:30,729 Thanks. That's what I was goin' for. 892 00:35:30,753 --> 00:35:31,879 What is it? What's going on? 893 00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,131 They let my dad out. 894 00:35:33,172 --> 00:35:34,465 Is... is it true 895 00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:35,716 that you like to beat women? 896 00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:36,968 I guess what I'm asking is 897 00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:38,636 are you a little bitch woman-beat... 898 00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,349 You hear me? A fuckin' dead man! 899 00:35:44,350 --> 00:35:46,102 How'd we do? 900 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,812 - He swung first. - Oh, yeah? 901 00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:49,605 Uh, yeah, I'd like to report an assault. 902 00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:51,149 Charlie got some girl pregnant. 903 00:35:51,190 --> 00:35:52,692 She just had the fuckin' baby. 904 00:35:52,733 --> 00:35:54,610 Are you still delivering those special pizzas? 905 00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,320 Have it there in under 30. 906 00:35:56,362 --> 00:35:58,132 Charlie, an addict. I got a delivery. 907 00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,741 A gram of coke. On a pizza. 908 00:36:00,783 --> 00:36:02,886 I didn't do it yet... I don't know what to do with it. 909 00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:05,163 So I called my sponsor... 910 00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:07,165 I was gonna sabotage Charlie. Planted coke on him. 911 00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:09,333 Then I felt guilty. Broke into his apartment. 912 00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:11,055 Flushed the drugs. Got attacked by his dog. 913 00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:13,754 Ow! 914 00:36:13,796 --> 00:36:14,839 Let go! 915 00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:16,883 God... fuck! 916 00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:19,343 Hey, I-I gotta go, all right? My kid's in the emergency room. 917 00:36:19,385 --> 00:36:20,946 - You have a kid? - We'll get her over to X-ray 918 00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:22,513 - and set the arm. - Okay. 919 00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:24,199 And we can only release her to a parent or legal guardian. 920 00:36:24,223 --> 00:36:25,516 Okay, sweetie. 921 00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:32,106 Exciting music 922 00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:34,025 Hey! 923 00:36:34,066 --> 00:36:35,943 Come on, we're gonna hide. 924 00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:38,863 Baby, why you got me so shook shook up, yeah 925 00:36:41,407 --> 00:36:43,868 Oh oh oh oh 926 00:36:43,910 --> 00:36:46,704 Oh 927 00:36:46,746 --> 00:36:49,373 If your mom doesn't come back, do you wanna stay with me here? 928 00:36:49,415 --> 00:36:51,375 Yeah. That'd be good. 929 00:36:52,919 --> 00:36:54,503 This is what I'm going through. 930 00:36:54,545 --> 00:36:56,881 Oh... what the hell are you talking about, man? 931 00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:59,175 You're not going through any of that crap. 932 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,469 I mean, you have convinced yourself that you are. 933 00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:03,346 - Uh-huh. - It's, uh, fucking classic 934 00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:05,014 co-dependence. 935 00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:06,724 Mom? 936 00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:09,685 Soft music 937 00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:13,481 I knew you'd come back for me. 938 00:37:13,522 --> 00:37:15,066 Oh, my girl. 939 00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:23,908 I think you should give Charlie one last chance. 940 00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:26,410 - What? - I've been drunk... 941 00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:29,538 or high almost every day since I was 12 years old. 942 00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:31,582 - Do you fucking love me? - I don't know. 943 00:37:31,624 --> 00:37:33,167 - I want to. - Jesus. 944 00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:34,436 Okay? And it's because I care about you. 945 00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:37,088 Just go, Lip! 946 00:37:37,129 --> 00:37:38,756 Please. 947 00:37:38,798 --> 00:37:39,924 Oh, my God. 948 00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:42,093 I'm sorry. 949 00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:47,348 Co-dependent, huh? 950 00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:49,433 Try some Greek Goddess. 951 00:37:51,644 --> 00:37:52,853 The fuck is in this? 952 00:37:52,895 --> 00:37:54,605 Hey. 953 00:37:54,647 --> 00:37:55,940 Hey. 954 00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:57,441 Is he better? 955 00:37:57,483 --> 00:37:59,235 A little bit. 956 00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,821 Ah. Do you want me to read to him now? 957 00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:03,948 No, it's all right. 958 00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:06,993 I'm telling him my own story. 959 00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,995 - Oh, yeah? - Uh, yeah. 960 00:38:09,036 --> 00:38:10,413 Just about to get to the best part. 961 00:38:10,454 --> 00:38:12,373 Okay, well... 962 00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,500 don't let me stop you. 963 00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:20,256 Now, even though Lip... 964 00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:21,841 was a model citizen 965 00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:24,218 and was living the American dream... 966 00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,762 - Wait. This is about you? - Shh, shh, shh. 967 00:38:26,804 --> 00:38:29,890 He knew that something was missing 968 00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:31,934 in his life, 969 00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:35,271 that someone was missing in his life. 970 00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:37,315 His heart was so full of love, 971 00:38:37,356 --> 00:38:39,608 and he wanted to share that love, 972 00:38:39,650 --> 00:38:43,988 you know, with a kind and special woman. 973 00:38:45,489 --> 00:38:47,158 That's me. 974 00:38:47,199 --> 00:38:49,827 - Uh, maid of honor? - Yep, her sister, Tami. 975 00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:54,165 So you and Tami hit it off at the wedding. 976 00:38:54,206 --> 00:38:55,434 Yeah. Yeah, she's cute. 977 00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:56,459 - Come on. - Where? 978 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,960 The maid of honor and best man 979 00:38:58,002 --> 00:38:59,337 always hook up at these things. 980 00:38:59,378 --> 00:39:00,588 Take her out on a real date. 981 00:39:00,629 --> 00:39:01,922 Go out for a steak or something. 982 00:39:01,964 --> 00:39:04,258 - You've done this before? - Seven times. 983 00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:06,802 You want my wedding pussy, don't you? 984 00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:09,722 There's nothing like a good woman to ground you. 985 00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:11,140 - Fuck! - Could be the one. 986 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,433 You never know. 987 00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:14,685 Okay, let's finish this thing. 988 00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:15,996 - I need another drink. - Look, I thought maybe 989 00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:18,189 you'd wanna, uh... go out to dinner. 990 00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:20,107 - Nah, I'm good. - What? 991 00:39:20,149 --> 00:39:22,318 - You fuck for shit. - I-I don't fuck for shit. 992 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,737 Oh, yeah, no, you fuck for shit. 993 00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:26,530 You were all like, jab, jab, jab. 994 00:39:26,572 --> 00:39:28,425 - Jab-jab-jab-jab-jab. - I was just trying to be 995 00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:29,926 - a nice guy. - Well, then you should have 996 00:39:29,950 --> 00:39:31,410 fucked me good and hard, 997 00:39:31,452 --> 00:39:33,412 'cause that would have been a nice guy. 998 00:39:33,454 --> 00:39:35,081 You know, have a good life, Pukey. 999 00:39:35,122 --> 00:39:36,916 Yeah, see ya later, Jabby. 1000 00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:40,044 You guys invited Jabby? Jabby! 1001 00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:42,213 Last time I saw you, you asked me to dinner. 1002 00:39:42,254 --> 00:39:43,565 - That offer still good? - Why, you wanna go 1003 00:39:43,589 --> 00:39:45,049 - on a date now? - Fuck me. I mean, 1004 00:39:45,091 --> 00:39:46,384 I must be really hard up. 1005 00:39:46,425 --> 00:39:47,903 Wanna try to fuck me properly this time? 1006 00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:48,927 What, like now? 1007 00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:54,517 - So? - Eh. 1008 00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:56,227 - Six outta ten? - What? 1009 00:39:56,268 --> 00:39:57,895 That's it. We're going again, all right? 1010 00:39:57,937 --> 00:39:59,688 And, I'm not letting you outta this car 1011 00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:01,399 until I get a ten. 1012 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,150 - This is my car, punk. - Hey, I don't care 1013 00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:05,236 - how long this takes. - Okay, well, wake me 1014 00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:07,321 when it's over. 1015 00:40:09,865 --> 00:40:10,908 Oh! 1016 00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:13,577 Hey, Jabby. 1017 00:40:13,619 --> 00:40:15,037 One of us needs to have an apartment 1018 00:40:15,079 --> 00:40:16,956 so that we have a fuck pad, so man up. 1019 00:40:16,997 --> 00:40:19,291 This guy has maybe the biggest dick I've ever seen. 1020 00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:22,253 It's bulging through his pants like a fucking balloon animal. 1021 00:40:22,294 --> 00:40:23,879 Don't look, though. Don't look! 1022 00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:26,424 Whoa! No way that's real. 1023 00:40:26,465 --> 00:40:27,967 - It's real. - We gotta go. 1024 00:40:28,008 --> 00:40:30,320 - I can't live here, all right? - If you don't believe me... 1025 00:40:30,344 --> 00:40:32,239 Hey, no, we believe you, man, we believe you, okay? 1026 00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:33,431 That's not real! 1027 00:40:33,472 --> 00:40:34,658 - It's not. - Either way, I don't want 1028 00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:35,933 that guy fixing my sink. 1029 00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:37,435 You know, I've been thinking about 1030 00:40:37,476 --> 00:40:38,620 turning our basement into a bedroom. 1031 00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:40,271 This could work, right? 1032 00:40:40,312 --> 00:40:42,440 Okay, was Silence of the Lambs filmed down here? 1033 00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:43,774 I mean, where's the pit? 1034 00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:45,043 You know, it's actually out back. 1035 00:40:45,067 --> 00:40:46,110 Come on, I'll show ya. 1036 00:40:46,152 --> 00:40:47,987 So you've got a bar of soap 1037 00:40:48,028 --> 00:40:49,548 with five different colors of pubes on it. 1038 00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:51,657 Wait, you guys can't all... share one bar of soap. 1039 00:40:51,699 --> 00:40:53,844 No, I don't... that's why I have the dishwashing liquid. 1040 00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:55,554 - What is this? - It's a box of clean underwear. 1041 00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:57,472 Yeah, we share our underwear. I don't have time to fold. 1042 00:40:57,496 --> 00:40:58,372 - You, Debs? - Nope. 1043 00:40:58,414 --> 00:41:00,124 What the fuck is that? 1044 00:41:00,166 --> 00:41:01,584 What, what? 1045 00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:03,127 That scratching noise. 1046 00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:08,466 There. Fixed it. 1047 00:41:08,507 --> 00:41:10,068 So what's the deal with you and my sister? 1048 00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:11,403 I don't think we have a deal. 1049 00:41:11,427 --> 00:41:13,137 Like, are you fucking other people? 1050 00:41:13,179 --> 00:41:15,598 Back off, Corey. He doesn't want the syph. 1051 00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:19,977 - Who's Boone? - Well, right now 1052 00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:21,812 he's the guy kissing your chick. 1053 00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:25,816 - He really likes you. - I'm extremely likeable. 1054 00:41:25,858 --> 00:41:27,651 You seem to be handling yourself pretty well. 1055 00:41:27,693 --> 00:41:28,962 Look, she's not my girlfriend, all right? 1056 00:41:28,986 --> 00:41:30,154 We can fuck whoever we want. 1057 00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:31,530 Oh, you are fucking other people. 1058 00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:37,203 I fucked your sister. 1059 00:41:37,244 --> 00:41:39,163 You're... really working hard 1060 00:41:39,205 --> 00:41:40,789 for that Tamietti hat trick. 1061 00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:42,875 Jesus, that doesn't bother you? 1062 00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:44,668 It bothers me. 1063 00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:46,837 Bothers me that you fucked Corey. 1064 00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,506 I mean... 1065 00:41:48,547 --> 00:41:50,758 of course it bothers me, Christ, I... 1066 00:41:50,799 --> 00:41:52,676 Maybe just don't fuck Boone anymore. 1067 00:41:52,718 --> 00:41:54,512 Fine. 1068 00:41:54,553 --> 00:41:56,430 Don't fuck Corey anymore. 1069 00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:59,350 Yeah, fine. Fine. 1070 00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:11,111 Stop staring at me, weirdo. 1071 00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:17,451 And their life... was peaches and roses all the time. 1072 00:42:17,493 --> 00:42:19,537 And when they found out that they were with child... 1073 00:42:19,578 --> 00:42:20,996 Fuck! 1074 00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:24,375 Rainbows appeared as if from nowhere, 1075 00:42:24,416 --> 00:42:27,169 and birds sang... 1076 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,923 and little woodland creatures frolicked. 1077 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:32,234 - I'm pregnant. - Tami's pregnant. 1078 00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,551 She's pregnant. 1079 00:42:33,592 --> 00:42:35,553 - Tami's pregnant. - No shit? 1080 00:42:35,594 --> 00:42:36,887 - Yeah. - Aw, man. 1081 00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:39,598 I got a test, and I saw 1082 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,393 the biggest, bluest plus sign I've ever seen. 1083 00:42:42,434 --> 00:42:44,228 - Is it yours? - You sure it's mine? 1084 00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:46,188 - Yeah. - She says it is. 1085 00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:48,041 I make Boone wear a condom. He's been in the Philippines. 1086 00:42:48,065 --> 00:42:49,567 I double-bag that shit. 1087 00:42:49,608 --> 00:42:51,569 Holy shit. Is she gonna keep it? 1088 00:42:51,610 --> 00:42:53,279 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 1089 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,738 You having the baby or no? 1090 00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:56,073 The last thing I need in my life 1091 00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:57,259 is a man telling me what to do. 1092 00:42:57,283 --> 00:42:59,827 Hey, Tami. How ya doin'? 1093 00:42:59,868 --> 00:43:02,037 It's none of your fucking business, Brad. 1094 00:43:02,079 --> 00:43:03,890 If you decide to have the baby, I wanna make damn sure 1095 00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:05,600 - it has a father. - I don't wanna have a baby 1096 00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:07,167 just to save my tits! 1097 00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:08,586 Tami's having this baby, 1098 00:43:08,627 --> 00:43:09,854 and I need to know what your plan is. 1099 00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:10,838 Baby? 1100 00:43:10,879 --> 00:43:12,423 He doesn't know shit. 1101 00:43:12,464 --> 00:43:14,192 You've been kicking my ass ever since you got pregnant. 1102 00:43:14,216 --> 00:43:16,111 I've been kicking your ass since the first day we met. 1103 00:43:16,135 --> 00:43:17,571 I can't believe you got Tami pregnant. 1104 00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,221 - Why do you keep saying that? - Well... 1105 00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:21,181 Hey, honey! Core. 1106 00:43:21,223 --> 00:43:22,742 I'm terrified of these women. 1107 00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:23,785 - It's her decision. - Goddamn right 1108 00:43:23,809 --> 00:43:25,102 it's her decision. 1109 00:43:25,144 --> 00:43:27,062 - You better now ghost her. - I won't. 1110 00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:29,189 If you hurt her, we will fuck you up. 1111 00:43:29,231 --> 00:43:31,066 - We will fuck you up. - I'm trying to do 1112 00:43:31,108 --> 00:43:33,611 - the right thing. - Don't fuck with us. 1113 00:43:33,652 --> 00:43:35,112 The goon squad gone? 1114 00:43:35,154 --> 00:43:36,572 Yeah. 1115 00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:38,532 I'm gonna have the baby. 1116 00:43:45,831 --> 00:43:47,416 Good. 1117 00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:48,792 What would I even name it? 1118 00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:50,628 We talkin' a boy or a girl? 1119 00:43:50,669 --> 00:43:52,147 I don't know. Like, pretend it's a boy. 1120 00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:54,131 - Hambone. - Wilmoth? 1121 00:43:54,173 --> 00:43:55,758 - Bird? - Who the hell 1122 00:43:55,799 --> 00:43:57,343 names their kid Bird? I take it back. 1123 00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,762 I will not be there for our child, all right? 1124 00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:01,972 I'm hungry. Do you wanna get something to eat? 1125 00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:03,390 I am fucking famished. 1126 00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:04,892 I'm starving. I need food. 1127 00:44:04,933 --> 00:44:06,060 You like popcorn shrimp? 1128 00:44:06,101 --> 00:44:07,645 I mean, I work in a hair salon. 1129 00:44:07,686 --> 00:44:09,313 I breathe bleach fumes all day. 1130 00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:10,957 This baby's gonna come out with like five heads 1131 00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:12,334 - and a dorsal fin. - You know that mask 1132 00:44:12,358 --> 00:44:13,942 is kinda freaky, right? - Yeah. 1133 00:44:13,984 --> 00:44:16,004 Well, it's better than junior being born with flippers 1134 00:44:16,028 --> 00:44:17,321 and a tail. 1135 00:44:17,363 --> 00:44:19,073 Oh, yeah, baby! 1136 00:44:19,114 --> 00:44:20,783 I'm so very, very wet. 1137 00:44:20,824 --> 00:44:22,326 I slipped out again. I slipped. 1138 00:44:22,368 --> 00:44:24,161 - Hang on, let me get on top. - All right. 1139 00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:26,830 She wants to have sex all the time, all right? 1140 00:44:26,872 --> 00:44:28,672 Three times last night and again this morning. 1141 00:44:28,707 --> 00:44:30,626 Y-w-whoa, whoa... I just felt the baby kick. 1142 00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,586 No, focus. 1143 00:44:32,628 --> 00:44:35,005 Baby likes it. Yeah. 1144 00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:39,986 She's so fucking nice to me all the time, you know? 1145 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:43,222 It's all honey, sweetie. She called me boo this morning. 1146 00:44:43,263 --> 00:44:45,391 I mean, it's alien abduction movie creepy. 1147 00:44:45,432 --> 00:44:47,393 - I don't like it. - It won't last. 1148 00:44:47,434 --> 00:44:49,853 Once the baby's born, with the sleep deprivation, 1149 00:44:49,895 --> 00:44:51,563 and Tami being kind of a bitch... 1150 00:44:51,605 --> 00:44:53,315 Ah... eh... 1151 00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:55,359 - ooh... ooh... - Just breathe. 1152 00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:56,860 Ah... 1153 00:44:56,902 --> 00:44:58,862 You think it's real this time? 1154 00:44:58,904 --> 00:45:01,865 Just shut the fuck up and find a goddamn parking spot! 1155 00:45:01,907 --> 00:45:04,118 She's back! 1156 00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:09,206 Rock music 1157 00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:14,795 Can you walk? Can you walk? 1158 00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:16,046 - Yes. - Yeah? 1159 00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:18,173 - Of course I can walk. - Can you? 1160 00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:20,134 - Aah! - Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1161 00:45:20,175 --> 00:45:22,404 - Should you be squatting? - Ahh. Did you call my sister? 1162 00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,054 - No. Cami? No. No, no, no. - Aah. 1163 00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:25,889 - 'Scuse me! - I don't want you in there 1164 00:45:25,931 --> 00:45:29,184 staring down my cooch with a baby head popping out 1165 00:45:29,226 --> 00:45:31,395 while I shit in a hospital bed. 1166 00:45:31,437 --> 00:45:33,230 All right, I'm gonna find you a wheelchair 1167 00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,566 so you don't have the baby in the parking lot, all right? 1168 00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:41,530 Aah... mmm... 1169 00:45:43,949 --> 00:45:45,909 - Are you with Ms. Tamietti? - Yeah, yeah. 1170 00:45:45,951 --> 00:45:47,453 Get your ass in here. 1171 00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,264 We're performing an emergency C-section. 1172 00:45:49,288 --> 00:45:50,765 We have to get this baby out now. 1173 00:45:50,789 --> 00:45:52,308 No. No, no, I'm not having a caesarian. 1174 00:45:52,332 --> 00:45:54,436 - I'm having my baby naturally. - That's not going to happen, 1175 00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:55,919 Tami. Sign it. 1176 00:45:55,961 --> 00:45:57,605 - I-I'm not really her, uh... - Are you the father? 1177 00:45:57,629 --> 00:45:59,631 - Yeah. Yes. - Then you sign it. 1178 00:45:59,673 --> 00:46:01,341 Think I'd make a shitty dad? 1179 00:46:01,383 --> 00:46:03,677 What? No. You'd make a great dad. 1180 00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,137 I thought, since you were 1181 00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:07,848 - a great father that you... - Thank you. 1182 00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:09,433 - I want sushi... - Yeah? 1183 00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:11,268 Disneyland. 1184 00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:19,568 Soft music 1185 00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:22,613 I didn't have much of a role model at home. 1186 00:46:23,989 --> 00:46:25,365 - Frank. - Yeah. 1187 00:46:25,407 --> 00:46:27,201 No shit. 1188 00:46:27,242 --> 00:46:30,704 Your sweet time 1189 00:46:30,746 --> 00:46:32,748 'Cause you don't know 1190 00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:36,376 What you're looking for 1191 00:46:36,418 --> 00:46:38,086 You just love 'em, man. 1192 00:46:38,128 --> 00:46:39,630 So your dreams stop... 1193 00:46:39,671 --> 00:46:42,049 It's hard to fuck 'em up if you just love 'em. 1194 00:46:44,092 --> 00:46:45,594 You think you can do that? 1195 00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:48,555 Said come by 1196 00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:51,183 - Yeah. - Yeah, I think so too. 1197 00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:54,645 I don't know why 1198 00:46:54,686 --> 00:46:56,188 Boy or girl? 1199 00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:58,315 Boy. 1200 00:46:58,357 --> 00:47:00,651 Are you sure it's yours? 1201 00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:05,322 Hey, he fell asleep. 1202 00:47:08,283 --> 00:47:09,868 You too. 1203 00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,961 When Lip Gallagher 1204 00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:22,214 looked at his sleeping son and girlfriend, 1205 00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:24,258 and he knew that his journey 1206 00:47:24,299 --> 00:47:28,178 had led him to this moment... 1207 00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:30,514 right here 1208 00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:32,641 and right now... 1209 00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:38,522 He wouldn't change a thing. 1210 00:47:40,148 --> 00:47:41,859 Shit. 1211 00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:43,443 - Oh. - Oh, my... 1212 00:47:43,485 --> 00:47:44,862 Seriously, Fred? 1213 00:47:44,903 --> 00:47:47,281 I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay? 1214 00:47:47,322 --> 00:47:48,782 Okay? 1215 00:47:48,824 --> 00:47:50,701 - Everything hurts. Aah! - All right. 1216 00:47:50,742 --> 00:47:52,995 Shit. Seriously, I lost my baby? 1217 00:47:53,036 --> 00:47:54,872 I feel like my boobs are gonna explode. 1218 00:47:54,913 --> 00:47:56,498 Whoa! 1219 00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,375 Why do you hate me, huh? 1220 00:47:59,459 --> 00:48:01,128 Here you go, here you go. 1221 00:48:01,169 --> 00:48:02,379 You take your dad's fake tit, 1222 00:48:02,421 --> 00:48:03,922 but you don't want the real deal? 1223 00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:05,716 You have six to eight minutes... tops. 1224 00:48:05,757 --> 00:48:08,260 Mmm. Mm... fuck. 1225 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,221 I'm tired, you know? 1226 00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:12,764 Welcome to parenthood. 1227 00:48:32,117 --> 00:48:34,578 They all lived... 1228 00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:37,748 moderately happy ever after. 1229 00:48:38,415 --> 00:48:41,919 - Tex Williams' "Smoke! Smoke! - Smoke! 1230 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,254 Now, I'm a fella with a heart of gold 1231 00:48:44,296 --> 00:48:45,940 With the ways of a gentleman, I've been told 1232 00:48:45,964 --> 00:48:48,050 The kind of a feller that wouldn't even harm a flea 1233 00:48:49,801 --> 00:48:51,345 But if me and a certain character met 1234 00:48:51,386 --> 00:48:53,388 The guy that invented the cigarette 1235 00:48:53,430 --> 00:48:55,599 I'd murder that son of a gun in the first degree 1236 00:48:57,476 --> 00:48:59,078 'Course it ain't 'cause I don't smoke myself 1237 00:48:59,102 --> 00:49:00,812 And I don't reckon they hinder your health 1238 00:49:00,854 --> 00:49:03,106 But I've smoked 'em all my life and I ain't dead yet 1239 00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,485 But nicotine slaves are all the same 1240 00:49:06,526 --> 00:49:08,862 At a pettin' party or a poker game 1241 00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:11,198 Everything's gotta stop while they smoke a cigarette 1242 00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:12,783 Smoke? 1243 00:49:12,824 --> 00:49:14,826 Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette 1244 00:49:14,868 --> 00:49:16,662 'Scuse me. I'm gonna go get a smoke. 1245 00:49:16,703 --> 00:49:19,915 Puff, puff, puff and if you smoke yourself to death 1246 00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:21,792 Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate 1247 00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:23,877 That you hates to make him wait 1248 00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:26,630 You've gotta have another cigarette 1249 00:49:26,672 --> 00:49:28,674 Your dedication to nicotine is admirable. 1250 00:49:28,715 --> 00:49:30,384 Let me get a pack a Camels. 1251 00:49:30,425 --> 00:49:32,678 I prefer carcinogens to endorphins. 1252 00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:34,238 Let me get a pack of American Spirits too. 1253 00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:35,406 You smoked my whole fuckin' pack. 1254 00:49:35,430 --> 00:49:37,307 Some Marlboros. Some Winstons. 1255 00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:39,434 Throw some, uh, Dunhills in there. 1256 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,331 - What are you doing? - I need to wash my junk. 1257 00:49:43,355 --> 00:49:45,732 Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette 1258 00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:47,651 Who's never smoked a cigarette before? 1259 00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:48,986 - Me! - Me! 1260 00:49:49,027 --> 00:49:50,821 Oh, you haven't? Okay, well, the first one's 1261 00:49:50,862 --> 00:49:52,507 the hardest, but you guys are gonna be great. 1262 00:49:52,531 --> 00:49:54,408 Come on, follow your Aunty Tami. 1263 00:49:54,449 --> 00:49:57,327 You've gotta have another cigarette 1264 00:50:05,627 --> 00:50:07,355 You know the way you smoke cigarettes, 1265 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:08,606 it'll be a miracle if you make it to 40. 1266 00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,007 - I'll quit. - Right. 1267 00:50:12,926 --> 00:50:14,511 You're only supposed to wear 1268 00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:16,513 one of those nicotine patches at a time. 1269 00:50:16,555 --> 00:50:18,473 Got one of these vape things from Carl. 1270 00:50:18,515 --> 00:50:20,183 Trying to quit smokin' for Fred. 1271 00:50:20,225 --> 00:50:21,977 Aren't those things worse for you? 1272 00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:26,189 Fuck, that shit's strong. 1273 00:50:28,734 --> 00:50:30,819 She was oh, so far from a chunk of ice 1274 00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:32,654 Our smoochin' party was goin' real nice 1275 00:50:32,696 --> 00:50:35,032 So help me Hannah I'd have been there yet 1276 00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:38,368 I give her a kiss and a little squeeze 1277 00:50:38,410 --> 00:50:40,203 She said, "Tex, excuse me, please 1278 00:50:40,245 --> 00:50:42,456 But I just gotta have a fix, a cigarette" 1279 00:50:44,124 --> 00:50:48,128 Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette 1280 00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:51,548 Puff, puff, puff, and if you smoke yourself to death 1281 00:50:51,590 --> 00:50:53,300 Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate 1282 00:50:53,341 --> 00:50:55,552 That you hates to make him wait 1283 00:50:55,594 --> 00:50:58,972 You've gotta have another cigarette 1284 00:51:00,915 --> 00:51:02,915 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 91004