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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,990 (TIRES SCREECH) 2 00:00:42,841 --> 00:00:44,774 LLOYD: Excuse me. 3 00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:47,369 Could you tell me how to get to the medical school? 4 00:00:47,412 --> 00:00:49,881 I'm supposed to be doing a lecture in about 20 minutes, 5 00:00:49,914 --> 00:00:51,780 and my driver's a bit lost. 6 00:00:51,817 --> 00:00:54,649 (IN AUSTRIAN ACCENT) You go straight ahead, 7 00:00:54,686 --> 00:00:57,984 and, uh, you make a left over the bridge. 8 00:00:59,591 --> 00:01:01,718 LLOYD: That's a lovely accent you have. 9 00:01:01,759 --> 00:01:05,662 - New Jersey? - Austria. 10 00:01:05,697 --> 00:01:08,426 Austria! Ha ha! Well, then... 11 00:01:08,466 --> 00:01:10,662 (MIMICS AUSTRALIAN ACCENT) G'day, mate. 12 00:01:12,337 --> 00:01:15,635 Let's put another shrimp on the barbie. 13 00:01:15,674 --> 00:01:17,766 Let's not. 14 00:01:20,311 --> 00:01:22,245 Oh. 15 00:01:27,385 --> 00:01:30,718 ("BOOM SHACK-A-LAK" PLAYING) 16 00:01:37,329 --> 00:01:39,694 # Boom shack-a-lak-a, what the people want # 17 00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:42,222 # Women them a flex and the men them a chant # 18 00:01:42,266 --> 00:01:44,234 # 'Ca' the '60s style, it have fe come back # 19 00:01:44,269 --> 00:01:46,736 # Draw fe bell-bottom, block heel and frock # 20 00:01:46,771 --> 00:01:49,502 # Boom shak-a-lak, rude boy # 21 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:52,634 # Here when we tell them now, sir # 22 00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:56,010 # Wine your body, wriggle your belly # 23 00:01:56,048 --> 00:01:59,813 # Dip and go down-ee in the new stylee # 24 00:01:59,852 --> 00:02:03,015 # Wine and go up, wine and go down # 25 00:02:03,055 --> 00:02:06,683 # Bubble and a rocka to the new style around # 26 00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:10,252 # You fe line it up, you fe wine it up # 27 00:02:10,294 --> 00:02:13,560 # Do the Boom shak-a-lak till the dance hall fill up # 28 00:02:13,598 --> 00:02:17,796 # I say the Boom shack-a-lak are the brand new style # 29 00:02:17,836 --> 00:02:21,362 # Wicked say it wicked, jah jah, no say it wild # 30 00:02:21,406 --> 00:02:24,841 # Ragamuffin style fe the discipline child # 31 00:02:24,877 --> 00:02:27,902 # Dip and go downa 'ca' it well versatile # 32 00:02:27,945 --> 00:02:31,780 # You fe move fe your waist, move fe your back # 33 00:02:31,817 --> 00:02:35,343 # Wine and go down, do the shack-a-lak-a-lak # 34 00:02:35,387 --> 00:02:38,686 # Get in a groove 'ca' you are the top notch # 35 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,918 # Bubble and a wine gal right 'pon the spot. # 36 00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:43,484 Now, who's got the wiener schnitzel? 37 00:02:43,528 --> 00:02:44,961 (DOG BARKS) 38 00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:46,965 Beautiful. There you go, Dolf. 39 00:02:46,998 --> 00:02:49,399 There you go, buddy. Yeah. 40 00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:50,957 Let's see. 41 00:02:51,002 --> 00:02:53,562 Next, we got roast beef au jus. 42 00:02:53,604 --> 00:02:55,334 (DOG WHINES) 43 00:02:55,373 --> 00:02:57,432 Who's got the roast beef au jus? 44 00:02:57,475 --> 00:02:59,501 Stella, beautiful. Bon appetit, Stella. 45 00:02:59,545 --> 00:03:01,342 Oui oui, yeah. 46 00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:03,540 Walk away. Go on. Go on. 47 00:03:03,581 --> 00:03:06,312 Last but not least... foot-long! 48 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:09,342 - Who's got the foot-long? - (WHIMPERING) 49 00:03:09,388 --> 00:03:11,480 There you... very funny, rascal. 50 00:03:11,522 --> 00:03:13,717 Very funny. In your dreams. 51 00:03:13,759 --> 00:03:16,659 MAN: Harry, why haven't you dropped those dogs off at the show yet? 52 00:03:16,694 --> 00:03:19,356 HARRY: Uh, sir, I didn't want to send them 53 00:03:19,397 --> 00:03:21,331 to a performance on an empty stomach, sir. 54 00:03:21,365 --> 00:03:23,960 - Get a move on it! - Yes, sir. 55 00:03:24,002 --> 00:03:26,334 Mutt cutts. 10-4. 56 00:03:27,338 --> 00:03:29,204 (ALL WHINING) 57 00:03:31,576 --> 00:03:33,545 (HORN HONKS) 58 00:03:36,581 --> 00:03:38,242 (HONKS) 59 00:03:41,052 --> 00:03:43,722 (TIRES SCREECH) 60 00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:47,358 Whew. 61 00:03:47,391 --> 00:03:49,325 Suck me sideways. 62 00:04:02,473 --> 00:04:05,637 Hello. How are you? 63 00:04:05,676 --> 00:04:07,907 (ROMANTIC POP MUSIC PLAYING) 64 00:04:07,945 --> 00:04:11,006 Uh-uh-uh... uh... uh-uh-uh... 65 00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:12,879 I'll be out in one minute. 66 00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:15,112 (MUMBLES) 67 00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:21,052 Ow. 68 00:04:30,601 --> 00:04:32,034 (INHALES) 69 00:04:32,069 --> 00:04:34,038 (EXHALES) 70 00:04:42,848 --> 00:04:44,713 Why are you going to the airport? 71 00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:46,615 Flying somewhere? 72 00:04:46,651 --> 00:04:48,084 How'd you guess? 73 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,586 I saw your luggage. 74 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:51,588 Then when I noticed the airline ticket, 75 00:04:51,622 --> 00:04:53,591 I put two and two together. 76 00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:55,558 So where're you headed? 77 00:04:55,593 --> 00:04:57,060 Aspen. 78 00:04:57,095 --> 00:04:59,086 Mmm... California. 79 00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:01,326 Beautiful. 80 00:05:03,535 --> 00:05:06,901 Name's Christmas, Lloyd Christmas. 81 00:05:06,937 --> 00:05:09,132 I'm Mary Swanson. 82 00:05:09,173 --> 00:05:12,143 This isn't my real job, you know. 83 00:05:12,177 --> 00:05:14,440 - No? - Nope, my friend Harry and I 84 00:05:14,478 --> 00:05:16,673 are saving up our money to open our own pet store. 85 00:05:16,714 --> 00:05:18,944 That's nice. 86 00:05:19,951 --> 00:05:22,851 - I got worms. - I beg your pardon? 87 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:26,050 That's what we're going to call it... I Got Worms. 88 00:05:26,091 --> 00:05:28,524 We're going to specialize in selling worm farms, 89 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,891 you know, like ant farms. 90 00:05:32,531 --> 00:05:34,555 What's the matter? 91 00:05:34,598 --> 00:05:36,862 A little tense about the flight? 92 00:05:37,968 --> 00:05:39,766 Something like that. 93 00:05:39,805 --> 00:05:42,432 There's really nothing to worry about, Mary. 94 00:05:42,473 --> 00:05:44,704 Statistically, they say you're more likely 95 00:05:44,742 --> 00:05:46,643 to get killed on the way to the airport, 96 00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:49,112 you know, like in a head-on crash or flying off a cliff 97 00:05:49,146 --> 00:05:51,081 or getting trapped under a gas truck... 98 00:05:51,115 --> 00:05:53,050 That's the worst. I have this cousin... 99 00:05:53,084 --> 00:05:54,711 well, I had this cousin. 100 00:05:54,752 --> 00:05:57,915 Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please? 101 00:05:58,023 --> 00:05:59,923 Oh. Yeah. 102 00:05:59,957 --> 00:06:01,721 Good thinking. 103 00:06:01,759 --> 00:06:03,591 Can't be too careful. 104 00:06:03,627 --> 00:06:05,858 A lot of bad drivers out there. 105 00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:08,161 (TIRES SCREECHING) 106 00:06:11,802 --> 00:06:14,168 Hey, watch it! 107 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,341 (DOGS WHIMPERING) 108 00:06:19,644 --> 00:06:22,009 (TIRES SCREECH) 109 00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:24,845 Okay, gang, you know the rules... 110 00:06:24,882 --> 00:06:27,009 no humping, no pushing, no sniffing heinies. 111 00:06:27,052 --> 00:06:31,512 Where have you been? My dogs were supposed to be here 40 minutes ago! 112 00:06:31,555 --> 00:06:33,524 Now I hardly have any time to primp them. 113 00:06:33,557 --> 00:06:35,822 Don't worry about a thing, Mrs. Neugy-burger. 114 00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:37,658 - Neugeboren! - Neug-neug-neug... 115 00:06:37,696 --> 00:06:39,129 - Boren! - Boren. 116 00:06:39,163 --> 00:06:41,098 These pooches aren't going to need any primping. 117 00:06:41,132 --> 00:06:42,759 You know why? I'll tell you why. 118 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,064 Because I bathed them and I clipped them myself. 119 00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:47,867 And I stand by my performance. 120 00:06:53,944 --> 00:06:56,971 (WHIMPERING) 121 00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,779 You know, on second thought, 122 00:06:59,817 --> 00:07:02,081 you might just want to run a comb through 'em. 123 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,351 Male voice: The white zone is for the immediate 124 00:07:03,387 --> 00:07:04,584 Male voice: The white zone is for the immediate 125 00:07:04,622 --> 00:07:07,091 loading and unloading of passengers only. 126 00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:09,286 No parking. 127 00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:13,559 Thanks. Here you go. 128 00:07:13,598 --> 00:07:16,065 Oh no, Mary. 129 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:18,432 I couldn't possibly accept that, 130 00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:20,870 not after all we've been through. 131 00:07:23,675 --> 00:07:25,574 Thank you, Lloyd. 132 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:28,976 - Uh, good luck with your worms. - Yeah. 133 00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:30,913 Hey. 134 00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:33,913 How about a hug? 135 00:07:33,951 --> 00:07:35,715 The white zone is for the immediate 136 00:07:35,754 --> 00:07:38,951 loading and unloading of passengers only. 137 00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:40,821 No parking. 138 00:07:47,098 --> 00:07:48,963 Oh. 139 00:07:50,569 --> 00:07:53,197 I hate goodbyes. (CHUCKLES) 140 00:07:53,237 --> 00:07:54,795 Oh. 141 00:07:55,807 --> 00:07:57,399 (GROANS) 142 00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:01,468 Uh, Lloyd... 143 00:08:01,512 --> 00:08:03,673 Shh! 144 00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:05,706 (WHISPERS) Just go. 145 00:08:09,954 --> 00:08:13,185 (ROMANTIC POP MUSIC PLAYING) 146 00:08:27,238 --> 00:08:29,365 (VOICE WAVERING) Be strong. 147 00:08:35,046 --> 00:08:37,071 (SIGHS) 148 00:08:43,254 --> 00:08:45,052 Woman over PA: Mr. Dan Mitchell, 149 00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:47,557 please pick up the white courtesy phone. 150 00:08:47,591 --> 00:08:51,721 Mr. Dan Mitchell, please pick up the white courtesy phone... 151 00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:55,129 She's gonna leave the briefcase near the escalator. 152 00:08:55,165 --> 00:08:58,794 - You make the pickup. - Piece of cake. 153 00:09:07,778 --> 00:09:10,407 # Goodbye, my lo... # ugh! 154 00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:14,447 (LAUGHS) 155 00:09:16,053 --> 00:09:18,022 Hi! 156 00:09:18,056 --> 00:09:21,024 Passenger Maura Tadge, 157 00:09:21,058 --> 00:09:23,583 please pick up the white courtesy phone. 158 00:09:23,628 --> 00:09:25,118 You have a message. 159 00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:27,357 Passenger Maura Tadge. 160 00:09:33,004 --> 00:09:34,995 (YELLS) Agh! Mary! 161 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,038 Man: There's our payday. 162 00:09:40,077 --> 00:09:42,102 She left it. Let's go. 163 00:09:42,147 --> 00:09:45,446 LLOYD: Excuse me! Coming through! 164 00:09:47,152 --> 00:09:50,849 Move it or lose it, sister! 165 00:09:54,725 --> 00:09:56,192 Hey! 166 00:09:57,195 --> 00:09:59,220 (PANTING) 167 00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:00,697 Eenie... 168 00:10:00,731 --> 00:10:03,131 meenie... minie... 169 00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:05,466 mo! 170 00:10:12,243 --> 00:10:14,211 Hold that plane! 171 00:10:14,245 --> 00:10:16,907 Sir, you can't go in there! 172 00:10:16,947 --> 00:10:18,210 It's okay! 173 00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:20,409 I'm a limo driver! 174 00:10:24,923 --> 00:10:27,322 - Agh! - (THUDS) 175 00:10:27,359 --> 00:10:29,884 Whew... 176 00:10:29,927 --> 00:10:33,091 (MOANING) 177 00:10:35,399 --> 00:10:37,424 (TIRES SCREECH) 178 00:10:39,004 --> 00:10:43,373 (SIRENS BLARING IN DISTANCE) 179 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,241 Hi, Lloyd. 180 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,908 Hi, Harry. 181 00:10:51,950 --> 00:10:54,783 - How was your day? - Not bad. 182 00:10:54,818 --> 00:10:57,184 Fell off the jetway again. 183 00:11:02,693 --> 00:11:04,251 Who the hell you figure 184 00:11:04,294 --> 00:11:06,195 this guy's working for, anyway? 185 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,289 I don't know. 186 00:11:10,235 --> 00:11:13,294 We sure as hell better find out. 187 00:11:17,174 --> 00:11:18,802 The ulcer? 188 00:11:18,842 --> 00:11:20,811 I'll live. 189 00:11:20,845 --> 00:11:23,278 (BIRD CHIRPING) 190 00:11:28,286 --> 00:11:31,948 - So you got fired again, huh? - Oh, yeah. 191 00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:36,323 They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know? 192 00:11:37,761 --> 00:11:40,162 Yeah, well, I lost my job too. 193 00:11:40,197 --> 00:11:44,999 Man! You are one pathetic loser. 194 00:11:45,036 --> 00:11:47,971 (LAUGHING) No offense. 195 00:11:48,005 --> 00:11:50,201 No. None taken. 196 00:11:52,309 --> 00:11:54,301 Ha ha ha! 197 00:11:54,345 --> 00:11:57,336 You know what really chaffs my ass, though? 198 00:11:57,381 --> 00:11:59,178 I spent my life's savings 199 00:11:59,216 --> 00:12:01,014 turning my van into a dog. 200 00:12:01,052 --> 00:12:03,043 Hi, Petey! 201 00:12:03,254 --> 00:12:05,448 The alarm alone cost me 200. 202 00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:07,480 Hey! Chicks love it. 203 00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:09,515 It's a shaggin' wagon. 204 00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:11,791 What's with the briefcase? 205 00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:17,330 It's a love memento. 206 00:12:17,368 --> 00:12:20,166 The most beautiful woman alive, 207 00:12:20,205 --> 00:12:22,503 I drove her to the airport. 208 00:12:22,539 --> 00:12:25,509 Sparks flew, emotions ran high. 209 00:12:25,543 --> 00:12:27,976 She actually talked to me, man. 210 00:12:28,011 --> 00:12:30,139 Get outta here. 211 00:12:30,181 --> 00:12:33,173 Oh, yeah yeah. Tractor beam... 212 00:12:33,217 --> 00:12:36,482 (HUMMING WHISTLE) Sucked me right in. 213 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,490 Anyway... (INHALES DEEPLY) 214 00:12:39,524 --> 00:12:41,491 She left this in the terminal 215 00:12:41,525 --> 00:12:44,187 and flew to Aspen and out of my life. 216 00:12:44,229 --> 00:12:46,254 What's in it? 217 00:12:48,265 --> 00:12:50,631 Man... I would have to be a lowlife 218 00:12:50,668 --> 00:12:54,034 to go rootin' around in somebody else's private property. 219 00:12:54,072 --> 00:12:57,438 - Is it locked? - Yeah, really well. 220 00:12:57,475 --> 00:13:00,205 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 221 00:13:05,115 --> 00:13:07,948 HARRY: There's two of them. One of them's got a gun. 222 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,886 Did you pay the gas bill? 223 00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,221 Hey... 224 00:13:15,259 --> 00:13:17,557 (WHISPERING) Do you realize what you've done? 225 00:13:17,595 --> 00:13:19,528 I'm sorry. I say we bail. 226 00:13:19,563 --> 00:13:21,793 Okay. 227 00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:31,333 - (SLAMS) - Briefcase ain't here. 228 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:34,072 They must have taken it with them. 229 00:13:34,111 --> 00:13:36,080 Well, he's got to come home sometime. 230 00:13:36,114 --> 00:13:37,604 Maybe we should trash the place, 231 00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:39,741 send him a little message. 232 00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:43,686 I don't think he's going to get that message, Joe. 233 00:13:43,721 --> 00:13:46,052 I mean, the guy's got worms in his living room. 234 00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:48,250 Well. 235 00:13:48,293 --> 00:13:50,760 Oh, I got a better idea. 236 00:13:53,597 --> 00:13:56,327 "I thought I taw a puddy cat. 237 00:13:56,366 --> 00:13:58,129 I did. I did." 238 00:13:58,168 --> 00:13:59,692 (SQUAWKS) 239 00:14:01,272 --> 00:14:03,740 (CRACKING) 240 00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:16,109 I can't believe we drove around all day 241 00:14:16,153 --> 00:14:18,986 and there's not a single job in this town. 242 00:14:19,023 --> 00:14:21,149 There is nothing, nada, zip! 243 00:14:21,192 --> 00:14:23,990 Yeah, unless you want to work 40 hours a week. 244 00:14:24,028 --> 00:14:25,461 Pfft! 245 00:14:25,495 --> 00:14:27,623 Here. I'm going to go to the store. 246 00:14:27,664 --> 00:14:29,529 Okay, just get the bare essentials. 247 00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:31,364 This is the last of our dough. 248 00:14:31,402 --> 00:14:33,995 Hey. What do I look like? 249 00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:37,769 # Take a little walk to the edge of town # 250 00:14:37,808 --> 00:14:40,538 # Go across the tracks # 251 00:14:41,546 --> 00:14:44,173 # Where the viaduct looms # 252 00:14:44,215 --> 00:14:46,149 # Like a bird of doom # 253 00:14:46,183 --> 00:14:49,745 # As it shifts and cracks # 254 00:14:49,787 --> 00:14:54,349 # Where secrets lie in the border fires # 255 00:14:54,392 --> 00:14:56,360 # In the humming wires # 256 00:14:56,394 --> 00:14:59,557 # Hey, man, you know you're never coming back # 257 00:14:59,596 --> 00:15:01,496 # Past the square, past the bridge... # 258 00:15:01,532 --> 00:15:03,294 # Past the mills, past the stack... # 259 00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:04,823 (GRUNTING) 260 00:15:06,537 --> 00:15:08,767 # On a gathering storm # 261 00:15:08,806 --> 00:15:10,466 # Comes a tall handsome man... # 262 00:15:10,508 --> 00:15:12,304 Cripes! 263 00:15:12,342 --> 00:15:15,369 # In a dusty black coat with a red right hand. # 264 00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:22,346 Excuse me, little old lady. 265 00:15:22,386 --> 00:15:24,412 (TIRES SCREECH) 266 00:15:27,725 --> 00:15:30,158 Uh, do you have change for a dollar? 267 00:15:30,193 --> 00:15:31,717 Change? 268 00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:33,628 No, I'm sorry. I don't. 269 00:15:33,664 --> 00:15:35,690 Oh... well, uh, 270 00:15:35,732 --> 00:15:38,701 could you do me a favor and watch my stuff here 271 00:15:38,735 --> 00:15:40,465 while I go break a dollar? 272 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,836 - Of course. - Thanks. 273 00:15:42,874 --> 00:15:46,071 Hey. I guess they're right. 274 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,668 Senior citizens, 275 00:15:47,711 --> 00:15:50,236 although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, 276 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,114 can still serve a purpose. 277 00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:56,415 I'll be right back. Don't you go dying on me! 278 00:16:01,158 --> 00:16:04,616 - Ugh! - Where's the booze? 279 00:16:04,662 --> 00:16:07,495 I got robbed by a sweet old lady 280 00:16:07,532 --> 00:16:10,091 on a motorized cart. 281 00:16:10,134 --> 00:16:12,294 I didn't even see it coming. 282 00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:14,100 Oh... 283 00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:16,129 - Harry? - No... 284 00:16:16,173 --> 00:16:18,403 - No... - Harry. Come on, Harry. 285 00:16:18,442 --> 00:16:20,172 Cheer up. 286 00:16:20,211 --> 00:16:22,269 It gets worse, Lloyd. 287 00:16:22,312 --> 00:16:24,246 My parakeet Petey... 288 00:16:24,282 --> 00:16:27,341 - Yeah? ...he's dead. 289 00:16:27,384 --> 00:16:30,182 (GASPS) 290 00:16:30,221 --> 00:16:31,778 Aw... 291 00:16:31,822 --> 00:16:33,756 Oh, man. I'm sorry, Harry. 292 00:16:33,790 --> 00:16:35,782 What happened? 293 00:16:36,827 --> 00:16:38,796 His head fell off. 294 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,730 His head fell off? 295 00:16:40,764 --> 00:16:43,130 Yeah, he was pretty old. 296 00:16:46,437 --> 00:16:47,802 Ugh! 297 00:16:47,838 --> 00:16:49,773 That's it. 298 00:16:49,807 --> 00:16:52,274 I've had it with this dump! 299 00:16:52,309 --> 00:16:55,245 We got no food. We got no jobs. 300 00:16:55,278 --> 00:16:57,248 (YELLS) Our pets' heads are falling off! 301 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,216 Okay, just calm down! 302 00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,581 What the hell are we doing here, Harry? 303 00:17:01,619 --> 00:17:03,745 We gotta get out of this town! 304 00:17:03,788 --> 00:17:06,347 Yeah? And go where? Where are we gonna go? 305 00:17:06,391 --> 00:17:09,258 I'll tell you where, 306 00:17:09,292 --> 00:17:11,192 someplace warm... 307 00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:13,527 a place where the beer flows like wine, 308 00:17:13,564 --> 00:17:15,656 where beautiful women instinctively flock 309 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:17,998 like the salmon of Capistrano. 310 00:17:19,369 --> 00:17:21,634 I'm talking about a little place called... 311 00:17:21,672 --> 00:17:24,402 Aspen. 312 00:17:24,442 --> 00:17:27,605 I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes. 313 00:17:27,644 --> 00:17:30,078 Wait a minute. 314 00:17:32,316 --> 00:17:34,647 Wait a minute! I know what you're up to, mister. 315 00:17:34,684 --> 00:17:37,381 Yeah! You just wanna go to Aspen 316 00:17:37,422 --> 00:17:39,855 and find that girl who lost her briefcase, 317 00:17:39,891 --> 00:17:42,257 and you need me to drive you there! 318 00:17:42,292 --> 00:17:44,659 - Right? Am I right? - Yeah. So? 319 00:17:44,694 --> 00:17:48,096 - Am I right? Am I right? - Yeah! So? 320 00:17:48,132 --> 00:17:50,395 So I wanna go someplace where we know somebody 321 00:17:50,434 --> 00:17:52,403 who can plug us into the social pipeline. 322 00:17:52,436 --> 00:17:54,734 No! No no no! No, Lloyd! 323 00:17:54,771 --> 00:17:57,569 No! I say we stay here, we hunt for jobs, 324 00:17:57,607 --> 00:18:00,201 and we keep saving our money for the worm store! 325 00:18:00,243 --> 00:18:02,508 I don't know about you, 326 00:18:02,547 --> 00:18:04,208 but I am getting sick and tired 327 00:18:04,248 --> 00:18:05,714 of-of running from creditors! 328 00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:09,378 You know what I'm sick and tired of, Harry? 329 00:18:11,255 --> 00:18:14,884 I'm sick and tired of having to eke my way through life. 330 00:18:19,297 --> 00:18:21,458 I'm sick and tired of being a nobody. 331 00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:24,894 But most of all... 332 00:18:29,207 --> 00:18:32,403 I'm sick and tired of having nobody. 333 00:18:33,443 --> 00:18:34,705 (SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) 334 00:18:34,744 --> 00:18:36,769 Okay, Lloyd. 335 00:18:40,451 --> 00:18:42,612 Aspen it is. 336 00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:48,248 You'd better not be foolin'. 337 00:18:48,291 --> 00:18:50,088 (CHUCKLES) 338 00:18:52,430 --> 00:18:54,260 (CRYING) 339 00:18:54,298 --> 00:18:57,267 Okay okay, 340 00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,326 just let it out. Have a good cry. 341 00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:01,337 Come on. 342 00:19:01,372 --> 00:19:03,169 Okay. 343 00:19:03,207 --> 00:19:05,674 (SOBBING) 344 00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:07,811 Okay, that's enough. 345 00:19:13,951 --> 00:19:16,214 # I never met a girl # 346 00:19:16,253 --> 00:19:19,347 # Who made me feel the way that you do # 347 00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:21,550 # You're all right # 348 00:19:21,592 --> 00:19:24,527 # Whenever I'm asked who makes my dreams real # 349 00:19:24,561 --> 00:19:28,498 # I tell them you do, you're outta sight # 350 00:19:28,532 --> 00:19:31,695 # I'm bringin' you a love that's true # 351 00:19:31,736 --> 00:19:35,797 # So get ready, get ready # 352 00:19:35,839 --> 00:19:38,468 # I'm gonna try to make you love me too # 353 00:19:38,509 --> 00:19:43,241 # So get ready, get ready, here I come # 354 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,442 # Get ready 'cause here I come... # 355 00:19:45,482 --> 00:19:47,347 Lloyd, what are you doing? 356 00:19:47,384 --> 00:19:49,579 It feels like you're running at an incredible rate, Harry. 357 00:19:49,619 --> 00:19:51,747 Would you quit it? We're not even through Connecticut yet, 358 00:19:51,788 --> 00:19:52,982 and already you're annoying me. 359 00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:55,515 - Sorry. - Jeez. 360 00:19:55,559 --> 00:19:58,757 - We're really doing it, aren't we? - Yeah. 361 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,391 Hey, where'd you get those? 362 00:20:01,432 --> 00:20:04,867 I bought them when we filled up. 363 00:20:04,902 --> 00:20:06,926 Well... (STUTTERS) We're supposed to talk 364 00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:08,733 about all expenditures, Lloyd. 365 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,604 We're on a very tight budget. 366 00:20:10,641 --> 00:20:12,871 This didn't come out of our travel fund. 367 00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:14,376 Oh. 368 00:20:14,412 --> 00:20:16,311 No, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks 369 00:20:16,346 --> 00:20:18,712 before we left. 370 00:20:18,749 --> 00:20:20,979 Where did you get 25 extra bucks? 371 00:20:21,018 --> 00:20:24,249 I sold some stuff to Billy in 4C. 372 00:20:24,288 --> 00:20:26,688 The blind kid? 373 00:20:26,723 --> 00:20:28,817 Yeah! 374 00:20:28,858 --> 00:20:30,554 Yeah. 375 00:20:30,595 --> 00:20:33,028 What did you sell him, Lloyd? 376 00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:36,394 Stuff. 377 00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:39,892 - What kind of stuff? - I don't know. 378 00:20:39,936 --> 00:20:42,029 A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles... 379 00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:44,233 (COUGHS) Petey. 380 00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:47,743 Petey? 381 00:20:47,778 --> 00:20:50,679 You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? 382 00:20:50,714 --> 00:20:53,877 Lloyd, that-that... what are you... 383 00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:56,409 Petey didn't even have a head! 384 00:20:56,453 --> 00:20:59,787 Harry, I took care of it. 385 00:21:02,559 --> 00:21:04,528 Pretty bird. 386 00:21:04,561 --> 00:21:06,358 Yeah. Can you say, "pretty bird"? 387 00:21:06,396 --> 00:21:07,954 Pretty bird. 388 00:21:07,999 --> 00:21:10,626 Yes, pretty bird. 389 00:21:10,667 --> 00:21:12,760 Pretty bird. 390 00:21:16,073 --> 00:21:18,097 Polly want a cracker? 391 00:21:21,811 --> 00:21:23,439 Those rat bastards. 392 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,607 They're rubbing it right in our faces. 393 00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:27,641 Man, Andre'll have a goddamn hemorrhage 394 00:21:27,684 --> 00:21:29,481 if we don't get that briefcase back. 395 00:21:29,519 --> 00:21:31,545 They must have been following us for weeks. 396 00:21:31,588 --> 00:21:34,786 - Why you say? - "Gas Man." 397 00:21:34,825 --> 00:21:37,487 How the hell do they know that I got gas? 398 00:21:37,528 --> 00:21:39,621 They gotta be pros. 399 00:21:40,998 --> 00:21:43,761 Don't worry. We're going to get that money back. 400 00:21:44,835 --> 00:21:47,462 And I'll tell you something else, 401 00:21:47,505 --> 00:21:49,496 they ain't never getting to Aspen. 402 00:21:49,539 --> 00:21:51,804 I'm going to see to that. 403 00:21:57,448 --> 00:21:59,439 Lloyd: They got The Monkees. 404 00:21:59,482 --> 00:22:01,541 They were a major influence on The Beatles. 405 00:22:01,585 --> 00:22:03,883 Yeah, I know. 406 00:22:05,021 --> 00:22:07,080 Excuse me, Flo? 407 00:22:07,124 --> 00:22:09,648 (BOTH LAUGHING) 408 00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:18,164 Flo, like the TV show. 409 00:22:19,703 --> 00:22:22,673 Uh... what is the "soup du jour"? 410 00:22:22,707 --> 00:22:24,367 It's the soup of the day. 411 00:22:24,407 --> 00:22:26,068 Mm-hmm... 412 00:22:26,109 --> 00:22:28,237 That sounds good. I'll have that. 413 00:22:29,547 --> 00:22:31,810 Anything else before I leave the area? 414 00:22:31,848 --> 00:22:33,612 No... yeah... 415 00:22:33,651 --> 00:22:35,516 yes yes, my soda's flat. 416 00:22:35,552 --> 00:22:37,851 It doesn't have any bubbles. 417 00:22:45,061 --> 00:22:46,825 Happy now? 418 00:22:51,067 --> 00:22:53,865 Feels good to mingle with these laid-back country folk, 419 00:22:53,903 --> 00:22:57,964 don't it, Harr? I like it a lot. 420 00:22:59,542 --> 00:23:02,671 - Uh-oh. - What? What's the matter? 421 00:23:03,913 --> 00:23:05,744 (BLOWS) 422 00:23:05,782 --> 00:23:08,512 You spilled the salt, that's what's the matter. 423 00:23:08,551 --> 00:23:11,577 Spilling the salt is very bad luck. 424 00:23:11,622 --> 00:23:13,646 We're driving across the country. 425 00:23:13,691 --> 00:23:15,852 The last thing we need is bad luck. 426 00:23:15,893 --> 00:23:19,384 Quick. Toss some salt over your right shoulder. 427 00:23:21,865 --> 00:23:24,699 (THUMPS) 428 00:23:24,734 --> 00:23:28,192 Uh-oh, too little too late, Harry. 429 00:23:30,740 --> 00:23:34,471 Who's the dead man that hit me with the salt shaker? 430 00:23:34,511 --> 00:23:36,877 (CROWD MURMURING) 431 00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:42,108 (HUMMING) 432 00:23:44,054 --> 00:23:46,488 Harry: Well... uh... 433 00:23:46,523 --> 00:23:48,048 it was a terrible mistake, sir. 434 00:23:48,092 --> 00:23:50,491 Please, believe me. I would never do anything 435 00:23:50,528 --> 00:23:52,051 to offend a man of your size. 436 00:23:52,096 --> 00:23:54,359 Kick his ass, Sea Bass! 437 00:23:57,535 --> 00:23:59,025 You gonna eat that? 438 00:23:59,068 --> 00:24:00,763 What? That? No... yes... no. 439 00:24:00,805 --> 00:24:02,796 Well... no, it crossed my mind. 440 00:24:02,839 --> 00:24:04,898 Yeah. 441 00:24:04,942 --> 00:24:08,343 (SNORTS, HAWKS) 442 00:24:18,989 --> 00:24:20,751 Still want it? 443 00:24:20,790 --> 00:24:23,782 Nah, you go ahead. 444 00:24:28,999 --> 00:24:32,195 You really wimped out, man. 445 00:24:32,236 --> 00:24:34,227 What are you talking about, wimped out? 446 00:24:34,270 --> 00:24:37,240 Well-well, did you... the guy hawked on my burger! 447 00:24:37,273 --> 00:24:39,503 Hey, wait a second. 448 00:24:39,542 --> 00:24:41,807 I think I just... 449 00:24:41,846 --> 00:24:44,837 Yeah... I just had an idea. 450 00:24:49,185 --> 00:24:51,415 Follow me. 451 00:24:53,156 --> 00:24:55,250 Whew. 452 00:24:58,261 --> 00:25:00,093 Lloyd: Excuse me. Guys? 453 00:25:00,130 --> 00:25:01,825 What the hell do you want? 454 00:25:01,865 --> 00:25:05,232 Uh... I just want to apologize 455 00:25:05,269 --> 00:25:07,066 for that uh... unpleasant scene 456 00:25:07,104 --> 00:25:08,798 a little earlier. 457 00:25:08,838 --> 00:25:12,240 My friend Harry and I would, uh... 458 00:25:12,276 --> 00:25:14,607 like to buy you guys a... 459 00:25:14,644 --> 00:25:16,635 round of beers... 460 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,579 just to bury the hatchet. 461 00:25:18,615 --> 00:25:20,846 Make it four boilermakers. 462 00:25:20,884 --> 00:25:22,785 Whatever you want, sir. 463 00:25:22,819 --> 00:25:25,811 I'll have the waitress bring it over immediately. 464 00:25:27,324 --> 00:25:29,622 - Lloyd, what are you doing? - (SHUSHING) 465 00:25:29,660 --> 00:25:31,820 We can't afford to buy them drinks. 466 00:25:34,731 --> 00:25:36,893 Um... excuse me. 467 00:25:36,933 --> 00:25:40,801 Sea Bass and the fellas offered to pick up our check. 468 00:25:40,837 --> 00:25:43,363 They said just put it on their tab. 469 00:25:44,708 --> 00:25:46,231 They're very nice. 470 00:25:47,243 --> 00:25:49,234 Sea Bass said that? 471 00:25:49,279 --> 00:25:51,680 Well, if uh... 472 00:25:51,714 --> 00:25:54,444 that guy at the table over there is Sea Bass. 473 00:25:58,855 --> 00:26:01,086 Ah! Uh. 474 00:26:02,092 --> 00:26:04,788 All right, if that's what he wants. 475 00:26:05,796 --> 00:26:07,763 Put these on there too, okay? 476 00:26:07,798 --> 00:26:10,163 You got it. 477 00:26:15,405 --> 00:26:18,135 I'm gonna kill those sons of bitches! 478 00:26:19,143 --> 00:26:21,161 (BOTH LAUGH) 479 00:26:21,195 --> 00:26:23,179 (BOTH LAUGH) 480 00:26:23,212 --> 00:26:25,738 That was genius, Lloyd, sheer genius! 481 00:26:25,782 --> 00:26:28,115 I mean, where did you come up with a scam like that? 482 00:26:28,152 --> 00:26:31,917 - Saw it in a movie once. - That was incredible! 483 00:26:31,955 --> 00:26:34,390 So what happened? So the guy tricks some sucker 484 00:26:34,424 --> 00:26:37,326 into picking up his tab, then gets away with it scot-free? 485 00:26:37,361 --> 00:26:40,990 No, in the movie, they catch up to him a half-mile down the road 486 00:26:41,030 --> 00:26:44,228 and slit his throat. It was a good one! 487 00:26:44,268 --> 00:26:46,133 (LAUGHING) 488 00:26:46,170 --> 00:26:49,162 Wow. (GRUNTS) 489 00:26:49,205 --> 00:26:52,106 - Harry? - What? 490 00:26:52,142 --> 00:26:54,076 I know this isn't the best time, but... 491 00:26:54,111 --> 00:26:56,340 - when you get a chance to pull over... - Yeah? 492 00:26:56,380 --> 00:26:58,108 - I gotta pee. - What, are you crazy? 493 00:26:58,147 --> 00:26:59,775 I'm not pulling over now. 494 00:26:59,817 --> 00:27:01,785 But I gotta go! What am I supposed to do? 495 00:27:01,818 --> 00:27:05,049 Well-well, whiz in one of the empty beer bottles in the back. 496 00:27:05,088 --> 00:27:07,717 They're on the floor. Just get one of... 497 00:27:07,758 --> 00:27:10,249 - Jeez, Lloyd! - Quit moving around! 498 00:27:11,260 --> 00:27:12,853 Huh! What... 499 00:27:12,895 --> 00:27:14,864 Shit! 500 00:27:14,897 --> 00:27:17,093 (UNZIPS PANTS) 501 00:27:17,134 --> 00:27:18,863 - Watch the seat! Watch the seat! - Okay! 502 00:27:18,902 --> 00:27:21,604 All right! 503 00:27:21,638 --> 00:27:23,606 (TRICKLING) 504 00:27:23,641 --> 00:27:27,008 Ahh... 505 00:27:28,011 --> 00:27:29,775 Ahh... 506 00:27:29,813 --> 00:27:33,806 - Uh-oh. - What? What's wrong? 507 00:27:33,851 --> 00:27:36,182 The bottle's almost full and I'm still going. 508 00:27:36,220 --> 00:27:39,189 - So stop going. - I can't stop going once I've started. 509 00:27:39,222 --> 00:27:41,156 It stings. 510 00:27:41,191 --> 00:27:42,714 Quick! Get me another bottle. 511 00:27:42,759 --> 00:27:43,988 - What? - Come on. 512 00:27:44,028 --> 00:27:45,654 Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry! 513 00:27:45,695 --> 00:27:47,253 Come on! Come on! 514 00:27:47,297 --> 00:27:49,628 Okay okay, here here here. Hold it! 515 00:27:53,136 --> 00:27:57,073 - Hold that. - Jesus. 516 00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:03,942 Hold that one. 517 00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:05,710 Hurry. I'm pinching it. 518 00:28:05,749 --> 00:28:07,682 What are you, a camel? 519 00:28:07,718 --> 00:28:10,710 (SIGHS) 520 00:28:10,753 --> 00:28:14,951 - (SIREN BLARING) - Pull over! 521 00:28:18,295 --> 00:28:20,558 - Huh? - Pull over! 522 00:28:22,199 --> 00:28:24,792 No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing. 523 00:28:24,835 --> 00:28:27,861 Yeah. Killer boots, man! 524 00:28:27,904 --> 00:28:31,567 Pull your vehicle to the side of the road! 525 00:28:39,849 --> 00:28:42,579 License and registration, please. 526 00:28:46,890 --> 00:28:50,257 You fellas were going a little fast back there, wouldn't you say? 527 00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:53,890 You, uh... you fellas been doing 528 00:28:53,931 --> 00:28:55,761 a bit of boozing, have you? 529 00:28:55,798 --> 00:28:58,426 Sucking back on Grandpa's old cough medicine? 530 00:28:58,469 --> 00:28:59,799 No. Oh no, sir. 531 00:28:59,836 --> 00:29:01,201 - No no no. - No, huh-uh. 532 00:29:01,238 --> 00:29:04,138 Yeah, well, what's that? 533 00:29:05,808 --> 00:29:08,242 - That's nothing, sir. - Yeah, nothing. 534 00:29:08,278 --> 00:29:11,337 Yeah well, you aware that it's against the law 535 00:29:11,381 --> 00:29:13,178 to have an open alcohol container 536 00:29:13,217 --> 00:29:15,048 here in the State of Pennsylvania? 537 00:29:15,085 --> 00:29:16,450 Come on, give me that booze, 538 00:29:16,487 --> 00:29:18,818 you little pumpkin-pie- haircutted freak! 539 00:29:18,855 --> 00:29:20,517 Come on! 540 00:29:28,798 --> 00:29:30,096 Sir, no, I- I... 541 00:29:30,134 --> 00:29:31,760 No, sir, don't. Don't drink... 542 00:29:31,801 --> 00:29:33,359 You'd keep your mouth shut 543 00:29:33,403 --> 00:29:35,564 if you knew what was good for you, buddy. 544 00:29:51,822 --> 00:29:53,186 Harry: Tic Tac, sir? 545 00:29:53,222 --> 00:29:55,316 Get the hell outta here! 546 00:29:57,227 --> 00:29:59,923 (COUGHS, RETCHES) 547 00:29:59,962 --> 00:30:03,865 MARY: How could they not have gotten the ransom? 548 00:30:03,901 --> 00:30:05,492 It just doesn't make sense. 549 00:30:05,536 --> 00:30:08,528 I left the money exactly where they instructed me to. 550 00:30:08,571 --> 00:30:10,335 WOMAN: Oh, it makes perfect sense, Mary. 551 00:30:10,374 --> 00:30:12,204 We should have called the authorities 552 00:30:12,241 --> 00:30:14,038 the minute we knew that Bobby was kidnapped. 553 00:30:14,076 --> 00:30:15,907 Now, Helen, we've been through this already. 554 00:30:15,945 --> 00:30:18,881 - Mr. Andre. - Nicholas. 555 00:30:18,915 --> 00:30:22,214 - Karl. - Nick Nick Nick. 556 00:30:22,251 --> 00:30:23,878 Any word yet, sir? 557 00:30:23,921 --> 00:30:25,888 No, nothing yet, Nicholas. 558 00:30:25,923 --> 00:30:27,891 (SIGHS) 559 00:30:27,924 --> 00:30:29,893 I've been giving this a lot of thought. 560 00:30:29,926 --> 00:30:31,986 Maybe we should cancel 561 00:30:32,028 --> 00:30:34,087 the preservation benefit this weekend. 562 00:30:34,131 --> 00:30:35,996 It would be so easy to reschedule it. 563 00:30:36,032 --> 00:30:38,467 No, I don't think we should do anything out of the ordinary. 564 00:30:38,501 --> 00:30:41,528 Yeah, she's right. It's imperative that we carry on as usual... 565 00:30:41,572 --> 00:30:43,267 - Okay. ...especially you, Mary. 566 00:30:43,307 --> 00:30:45,036 What am I supposed to do, 567 00:30:45,075 --> 00:30:47,269 just go about my life like everything is fine? 568 00:30:47,310 --> 00:30:49,142 That's exactly what you should do. 569 00:30:49,179 --> 00:30:51,306 Yes, go skiing, go to parties, act normally, you know. 570 00:30:51,347 --> 00:30:52,940 Yeah, don't you see, honey? 571 00:30:52,982 --> 00:30:54,847 We can't let on that anything's wrong. 572 00:30:54,884 --> 00:30:57,079 If the press or the authorities get wind of this, 573 00:30:57,119 --> 00:30:58,552 the kidnappers may panic. 574 00:30:58,588 --> 00:31:01,114 Mm. I mean, you never know 575 00:31:01,157 --> 00:31:03,125 what they might do to him then. 576 00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:12,596 (SNORING) 577 00:31:20,877 --> 00:31:23,210 # I saw her sitting in the rain # 578 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,176 # Raindrops falling on her # 579 00:31:27,217 --> 00:31:29,309 # She didn't seem to care # 580 00:31:29,353 --> 00:31:33,846 # She sat there and smiled at me # 581 00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:37,451 - # Then I knew # - # I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew # 582 00:31:37,493 --> 00:31:41,259 - # She could make me happy # - # Happy happy # 583 00:31:41,298 --> 00:31:43,060 # She could make me very happy... # 584 00:31:43,099 --> 00:31:46,432 # Flowers in her hair # 585 00:31:46,470 --> 00:31:50,930 # Flowers everywhere # 586 00:31:50,973 --> 00:31:53,169 # I love the flower-girl # 587 00:31:53,210 --> 00:31:55,040 # Oh, I don't know just why # 588 00:31:55,077 --> 00:31:57,410 # She simply caught my eye # 589 00:31:57,447 --> 00:32:00,314 # I love the flower-girl... # 590 00:32:00,349 --> 00:32:02,214 So he says, "Do you love me?" 591 00:32:02,251 --> 00:32:05,278 And she says, "No, but that's a real nice ski mask." 592 00:32:05,321 --> 00:32:07,721 (ALL LAUGHING) 593 00:32:12,429 --> 00:32:13,895 Hey, man, what's that? 594 00:32:30,980 --> 00:32:32,914 (PASSES GAS) 595 00:32:42,992 --> 00:32:45,222 # I knew I had to say hello # 596 00:32:45,261 --> 00:32:46,523 # Hello hello # 597 00:32:46,563 --> 00:32:50,259 # She smiled up at me # 598 00:32:50,299 --> 00:32:51,994 # And she took my hand # 599 00:32:52,035 --> 00:32:55,435 # And we walked through the park alone # 600 00:32:56,472 --> 00:32:58,236 # And I knew # 601 00:32:58,275 --> 00:32:59,970 # I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew # 602 00:33:00,009 --> 00:33:01,442 # She had made me happy... # 603 00:33:01,478 --> 00:33:03,445 Whoo! 604 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,538 # Happy happy, she had made me very happy # 605 00:33:05,582 --> 00:33:08,243 - # Flowers in her hair... # - (CRACKS) 606 00:33:18,028 --> 00:33:20,019 - (BELL RINGS) - (ROARING) 607 00:33:20,063 --> 00:33:21,791 (CRUNCHES) 608 00:33:29,138 --> 00:33:30,766 (YELLING) 609 00:33:33,410 --> 00:33:36,674 (MOVEMENTS SWISHING) 610 00:33:36,712 --> 00:33:39,546 (HIGH-PITCHED BATTLE-CRIES) 611 00:33:41,785 --> 00:33:43,615 (TRILLS) 612 00:33:44,621 --> 00:33:46,555 (GURGLING) 613 00:33:47,557 --> 00:33:48,955 (SNORTS) 614 00:34:11,047 --> 00:34:13,346 (SHOUTS) 615 00:34:13,382 --> 00:34:15,373 (VOCALIZES) 616 00:34:15,418 --> 00:34:18,478 Ahh... 617 00:34:18,521 --> 00:34:20,489 eh? 618 00:34:21,757 --> 00:34:23,726 Aah! 619 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,420 Aah! 620 00:34:25,461 --> 00:34:28,760 (HEARTBEAT THUMPING) 621 00:34:37,606 --> 00:34:41,543 - # Suddenly, the sun broke through # - # See the sun # 622 00:34:41,577 --> 00:34:45,570 - # I turned around, she was gone # - # Where did she go? # 623 00:34:45,614 --> 00:34:47,445 (GRUNTING) 624 00:34:47,483 --> 00:34:49,418 (MOANING) 625 00:34:52,255 --> 00:34:54,552 Oh! Oh! 626 00:34:54,590 --> 00:34:56,422 (GROANING) 627 00:34:57,427 --> 00:34:58,724 (RIPS) 628 00:34:59,728 --> 00:35:03,528 # Flowers in her hair # 629 00:35:03,567 --> 00:35:07,764 # Flowers everywhere # 630 00:35:07,804 --> 00:35:10,068 # I love the flower-girl # 631 00:35:10,106 --> 00:35:11,802 # Was she reality # 632 00:35:11,842 --> 00:35:14,436 # Or just a dream to me? # 633 00:35:14,478 --> 00:35:18,277 # I love the flower-girl # 634 00:35:18,315 --> 00:35:20,282 (FADES) # Her love showed me the way... # 635 00:35:20,317 --> 00:35:23,445 - # To find a sunny day. # - (HORN HONKING) 636 00:35:26,155 --> 00:35:28,590 Whoa! 637 00:35:30,159 --> 00:35:32,559 (BACKFIRE) 638 00:35:32,596 --> 00:35:35,621 You want me to drive? 639 00:35:35,664 --> 00:35:38,132 No, I'm cool. 640 00:35:46,443 --> 00:35:49,036 (WATER BUBBLING) 641 00:36:11,635 --> 00:36:13,603 Yeah! 642 00:36:13,637 --> 00:36:16,128 Get her! 643 00:36:18,574 --> 00:36:20,338 (CHUCKLES) 644 00:36:20,376 --> 00:36:22,208 - Ohh. - (THUDS, WATER SPLASHES) 645 00:36:22,244 --> 00:36:23,871 (SIGHS) 646 00:36:23,914 --> 00:36:26,246 This is the life... 647 00:36:26,282 --> 00:36:29,150 cold beer, a hot tub and paper-thin walls. 648 00:36:29,186 --> 00:36:31,847 (LAUGHS) 649 00:36:31,887 --> 00:36:34,856 There's only one thing that could make this moment any better. 650 00:36:34,891 --> 00:36:36,552 What's that? 651 00:36:36,592 --> 00:36:38,492 If you had a nice set of knockers. 652 00:36:38,527 --> 00:36:41,326 (LAUGHS) That's two things, Lloyd. 653 00:36:41,364 --> 00:36:44,298 Yeah, well, it's a good thing you're not stacked, Harry, 654 00:36:44,333 --> 00:36:45,800 or I'd be banging you right now. 655 00:36:45,835 --> 00:36:47,735 (BOTH LAUGH) 656 00:36:47,771 --> 00:36:49,864 I'd show you what a real man can do. 657 00:36:49,905 --> 00:36:53,501 Split you like an old piece of firewood. 658 00:36:56,646 --> 00:36:59,478 You'd probably like it too, you big homo. 659 00:36:59,516 --> 00:37:01,210 Shut up. 660 00:37:01,251 --> 00:37:04,447 Don't tell me to shut up, woman. 661 00:37:08,425 --> 00:37:10,518 (CHUCKLES) 662 00:37:13,797 --> 00:37:15,525 I don't know, Lloyd. You know, 663 00:37:15,565 --> 00:37:17,396 this place doesn't really do it for me. 664 00:37:17,434 --> 00:37:19,561 It brings back a lot of memories. 665 00:37:20,570 --> 00:37:22,333 Pour quoi? 666 00:37:22,371 --> 00:37:25,898 It was a few years ago. 667 00:37:25,942 --> 00:37:28,706 What happened, Harry? Some little filly break your heart? 668 00:37:28,744 --> 00:37:30,336 No, it was a girl. 669 00:37:30,380 --> 00:37:31,869 - Oh. - Fraida Felcher. 670 00:37:31,914 --> 00:37:34,280 Yeah, we stayed in a place just like this. 671 00:37:34,317 --> 00:37:36,717 Wasn't this classy, but, you know, nice. 672 00:37:36,753 --> 00:37:39,653 Felcher? From Cranston? 673 00:37:39,688 --> 00:37:40,985 Yeah. You know her? 674 00:37:41,023 --> 00:37:42,820 Oh, yeah! 675 00:37:42,858 --> 00:37:45,384 I mean, I remember you... 676 00:37:45,427 --> 00:37:47,793 talking about her. 677 00:37:47,831 --> 00:37:52,268 We had the most incredibly romantic time. 678 00:37:52,302 --> 00:37:54,394 I thought we were gonna be together forever, 679 00:37:54,436 --> 00:37:56,735 and then about a week later, right out of the blue, 680 00:37:56,773 --> 00:37:58,434 she sends me a John Deere letter. 681 00:37:58,474 --> 00:38:01,568 - She give you any reason? - Yeah, I called her up. 682 00:38:01,610 --> 00:38:03,306 She gave me a bunch of crap 683 00:38:03,346 --> 00:38:05,677 about me not listening to her enough or something. 684 00:38:05,715 --> 00:38:07,614 I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention. 685 00:38:07,650 --> 00:38:09,585 But the thing that hurt the most 686 00:38:09,619 --> 00:38:12,246 is I think she was seeing another guy. 687 00:38:15,557 --> 00:38:18,856 Never did find out who. 688 00:38:22,298 --> 00:38:24,789 (VACUUM WHIRRING) 689 00:38:40,784 --> 00:38:44,447 MENTAL: Mr. Andre, guess who we just happened upon? 690 00:38:44,487 --> 00:38:47,547 - Yeah. - MAN: I had plans. 691 00:38:47,590 --> 00:38:49,454 - Things I wanted to do. - Yeah. 692 00:38:49,492 --> 00:38:51,516 This is where it all ends... at a phone booth. 693 00:38:51,561 --> 00:38:53,391 - (MAN MUTTERING) - Yeah. The boys are holed up 694 00:38:53,429 --> 00:38:55,295 in a little love-nest for the night. 695 00:38:55,331 --> 00:38:58,027 I think they're a little bit strange. 696 00:38:58,068 --> 00:39:00,661 What the hell are these guys up to? 697 00:39:00,704 --> 00:39:02,934 I mean, is it possible that they could be feds? 698 00:39:02,972 --> 00:39:05,599 Highly unlikely from what I've seen. 699 00:39:05,641 --> 00:39:07,632 Sir, did you ever hear 700 00:39:07,677 --> 00:39:10,612 of the concept of other people? 701 00:39:10,646 --> 00:39:14,639 Um... me being that for the phone, 702 00:39:14,684 --> 00:39:15,945 sir. 703 00:39:15,985 --> 00:39:18,681 Oh, you turned your back on me. 704 00:39:18,722 --> 00:39:21,088 Ho ho ho! He got me mad. I almost like it. 705 00:39:21,123 --> 00:39:23,318 You and Shay were supposed to grab that bag 706 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,487 - so we could end this shit! - Here's your drink, baby. 707 00:39:25,527 --> 00:39:28,963 Do you know the damage I could do to you? 708 00:39:28,998 --> 00:39:32,592 Hold on a minute. 709 00:39:32,635 --> 00:39:34,728 Hmm. 710 00:39:34,771 --> 00:39:36,500 But that's not your problem. 711 00:39:36,539 --> 00:39:38,472 You didn't know. 712 00:39:38,507 --> 00:39:41,204 Get off the phone. 713 00:39:43,079 --> 00:39:46,708 Get off the pho... 714 00:39:49,686 --> 00:39:51,983 I'm sorry, Mr. Andre. You were saying? 715 00:39:52,021 --> 00:39:53,954 Look, Mental, 716 00:39:53,989 --> 00:39:56,652 these jokers have got a lot of money and it belongs to me! 717 00:39:56,693 --> 00:39:59,594 Now, I want to know who they are and what they're doing with it! 718 00:39:59,628 --> 00:40:02,826 Hey hey hey, I told you already. I'm on it. 719 00:40:02,865 --> 00:40:06,063 - All right? - Good. 720 00:40:09,606 --> 00:40:10,355 Harry: According to the map, 721 00:40:10,389 --> 00:40:11,103 Harry: According to the map, 722 00:40:11,141 --> 00:40:12,768 we've only gone about four inches. 723 00:40:12,809 --> 00:40:14,503 You know, I don't think 724 00:40:14,543 --> 00:40:15,976 we have enough gas money. 725 00:40:16,012 --> 00:40:19,469 Relax. We have more than enough. 726 00:40:19,516 --> 00:40:21,483 I think you're wrong, Lloyd. 727 00:40:21,518 --> 00:40:22,815 How much you wanna bet? 728 00:40:22,851 --> 00:40:24,512 I don't bet. 729 00:40:24,554 --> 00:40:25,987 What do you mean, you don't bet? 730 00:40:26,021 --> 00:40:27,717 I mean I don't bet. I don't gamble. 731 00:40:27,757 --> 00:40:29,782 (DEEP VOICE) Pussy pussy pussy! 732 00:40:29,826 --> 00:40:32,851 - I never have, and I never will. - Yeah, right! 733 00:40:32,896 --> 00:40:35,626 I'll bet you 20 bucks I can get you gambling 734 00:40:35,664 --> 00:40:37,757 - before the end of the day. - No way. 735 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,461 - I'll give you 3-to-1 odds. - Nope. 736 00:40:39,501 --> 00:40:40,661 - 5-to-1? - Nope. 737 00:40:40,702 --> 00:40:42,898 - 10-to-1? - You're on. 738 00:40:42,938 --> 00:40:45,304 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 739 00:40:46,509 --> 00:40:47,942 I'm going to get you. 740 00:40:47,976 --> 00:40:50,809 - Huh-uh. - Oh, yeah. 741 00:40:50,847 --> 00:40:52,974 I don't know how, but I'm going to get you. 742 00:40:53,016 --> 00:40:56,143 - Yeah. Oh, yeah. - Nuh-uh. 743 00:40:56,186 --> 00:40:57,949 Come on, Joe. Let me do them. 744 00:40:57,987 --> 00:40:59,784 Let me do both of them. 745 00:40:59,822 --> 00:41:01,380 You wouldn't even have to worry about it. 746 00:41:01,423 --> 00:41:02,947 Just shut up! 747 00:41:02,992 --> 00:41:05,119 Now, we don't even know who the hell they are. 748 00:41:05,161 --> 00:41:07,152 You don't kill people you don't know. 749 00:41:07,197 --> 00:41:08,596 That's a rule. 750 00:41:08,630 --> 00:41:09,996 Now, I want you to get up here, 751 00:41:10,032 --> 00:41:11,465 lie down on the front seat. 752 00:41:11,501 --> 00:41:15,402 When they pick me up, you follow us. You got that? 753 00:41:15,438 --> 00:41:17,769 Keep your shirt on. I gotta squeeze a lemon. 754 00:41:24,746 --> 00:41:27,215 MENTAL: Hey, hey, hey. Here they come. 755 00:41:27,250 --> 00:41:30,014 Stay down, stay down! 756 00:41:40,262 --> 00:41:43,494 Say, uh, are you guys going to Davenport? 757 00:41:43,532 --> 00:41:46,865 My car died, and I'm late for a luncheon. 758 00:41:48,003 --> 00:41:52,168 We usually don't pick up hitchhikers, 759 00:41:52,208 --> 00:41:56,007 but I'm going to go with my instinct on this one. 760 00:41:56,045 --> 00:41:58,512 Saddle up, partner. 761 00:41:59,882 --> 00:42:01,679 You're it. 762 00:42:01,717 --> 00:42:03,742 - You're it. - You're it! Quitsies! 763 00:42:03,786 --> 00:42:05,844 Anti-quitsies. You're it. Quitsies. No anti-quitsies. 764 00:42:05,889 --> 00:42:07,186 - No startsies. - You can't do that. 765 00:42:07,222 --> 00:42:09,190 - Can too. - Cannot. Stamped it. 766 00:42:09,224 --> 00:42:10,748 Can too. Double-stamped it. No erasies. 767 00:42:10,793 --> 00:42:13,090 Cannot. Triple-stamped it. No erasies. 768 00:42:13,128 --> 00:42:15,722 You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp! 769 00:42:15,764 --> 00:42:18,666 You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp, Lloyd! 770 00:42:18,701 --> 00:42:20,692 You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp. Lloyd! Lloyd! 771 00:42:20,737 --> 00:42:22,431 Guys! Enough! 772 00:42:25,942 --> 00:42:30,275 Hey, you wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? 773 00:42:31,313 --> 00:42:33,748 (SCREECHES) 774 00:42:33,782 --> 00:42:36,809 Guys! Guys! Guys! 775 00:42:38,253 --> 00:42:42,280 Fellas, you think we could 776 00:42:42,324 --> 00:42:44,793 listen to the radio or something? 777 00:42:46,028 --> 00:42:47,996 Radio? (LAUGHS) 778 00:42:48,030 --> 00:42:51,023 Who needs a radio? Ready, Harry? 779 00:42:52,568 --> 00:42:54,264 - # Mock- # - # Yeah # 780 00:42:54,304 --> 00:42:56,237 - # -ing- # - # Yeah # 781 00:42:56,271 --> 00:42:58,570 - # -bird # - # Yeah # 782 00:42:58,608 --> 00:43:00,268 - LLOYD: # Yeah # - # Yeah # 783 00:43:00,309 --> 00:43:02,277 Both: # Mockingbird # 784 00:43:02,311 --> 00:43:05,679 # Don't... everybody, have you heard? # 785 00:43:05,715 --> 00:43:09,014 # She's gonna buy me a mockingbird # 786 00:43:09,052 --> 00:43:13,751 # And if that mockingbird don't sing # 787 00:43:13,789 --> 00:43:17,885 # She's gonna buy me a diamond ring # 788 00:43:17,927 --> 00:43:20,987 # And if that diamond ring don't shine... # 789 00:43:21,030 --> 00:43:22,998 Hey, Lloyd, look! There's some people who want a ride too. 790 00:43:23,032 --> 00:43:24,021 Pick 'em up! 791 00:43:26,603 --> 00:43:28,264 (COWS MOO) 792 00:43:28,304 --> 00:43:30,101 (PLAYING ACOUSTIC GUITAR) 793 00:43:30,139 --> 00:43:32,630 - HARRY AND LLOYD: # Mock- # - # Sí # 794 00:43:32,675 --> 00:43:34,164 - # -ing- # - # Sí# 795 00:43:34,210 --> 00:43:36,268 - # -bird # - # Sí # 796 00:43:36,311 --> 00:43:38,541 Harry and Lloyd: # Sí # 797 00:43:46,188 --> 00:43:48,987 HARRY: You want an atomic pepper, Mr. Mentaliano? 798 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,626 Nah, you guys go ahead. 799 00:43:53,663 --> 00:43:55,893 I'll do it if you will, Lloyd. 800 00:43:55,931 --> 00:43:57,626 Okay. You go first. 801 00:43:57,666 --> 00:43:59,259 No, huh-uh, no, you go first. 802 00:43:59,302 --> 00:44:01,269 - No, you go first. - No, you go first. 803 00:44:01,304 --> 00:44:04,295 - No, you go first. - I always go first! 804 00:44:04,340 --> 00:44:06,672 Why don't you guys both stop acting 805 00:44:06,708 --> 00:44:08,335 like a couple of pussies 806 00:44:08,378 --> 00:44:10,608 and go at the same time, huh? 807 00:44:12,882 --> 00:44:15,612 - That sounds like a dare, Harry. - It's a double-dare. 808 00:44:15,652 --> 00:44:17,244 Yeah, okay, you're on. 809 00:44:18,253 --> 00:44:19,880 Mmm! 810 00:44:24,427 --> 00:44:28,385 - Huh. It's not so bad. - Uh-huh. 811 00:44:28,431 --> 00:44:30,023 Yeah. It's more tingly than hot. 812 00:44:30,065 --> 00:44:32,728 - Yeah. - (COUGHING) 813 00:44:32,768 --> 00:44:34,634 Agh! 814 00:44:37,172 --> 00:44:40,266 (BOTH SCREAMING, GAGGING) 815 00:44:43,179 --> 00:44:45,670 Uh, if you fellas would excuse me, 816 00:44:45,715 --> 00:44:47,648 I've got to use the phone. 817 00:44:47,684 --> 00:44:49,675 Enjoy your meal, guys. 818 00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:51,777 (WHIMPERING) 819 00:44:51,820 --> 00:44:53,789 Here, Lloyd, this helps! 820 00:44:53,822 --> 00:44:55,813 Here here. 821 00:44:55,858 --> 00:44:57,382 It... it works good. 822 00:44:57,427 --> 00:44:59,418 Ugh! 823 00:45:04,701 --> 00:45:08,364 Yeah, it's Mental. I'm just sitting down 824 00:45:08,403 --> 00:45:11,271 - to a nice meal with our boys. - Well, how nice for you. 825 00:45:11,306 --> 00:45:13,797 Don't forget that your bread plate is on the left! 826 00:45:13,842 --> 00:45:16,835 Look, I can't have these guys running around Aspen. 827 00:45:16,878 --> 00:45:19,403 Don't worry. They ain't gonna be runnin' around nowhere 828 00:45:19,449 --> 00:45:22,646 after I dump a little rat poison in their Shirley Temple. 829 00:45:25,021 --> 00:45:27,114 ("THE BEAR SONG" PLAYING) 830 00:45:27,155 --> 00:45:30,818 - Good good. - Okay, that's good. 831 00:45:30,860 --> 00:45:33,327 Here he comes. Here he comes. 832 00:45:34,329 --> 00:45:35,820 Feeling better, girls? 833 00:45:35,864 --> 00:45:38,264 Yes, much better. Thank you for asking. 834 00:45:38,300 --> 00:45:42,101 # The other side of the mountain was all that he could see, so! # 835 00:45:42,137 --> 00:45:45,106 # He went back over the mountain to see what he could see, hey! # 836 00:45:45,141 --> 00:45:47,735 So why are you going to Aspen? Vacation? 837 00:45:49,112 --> 00:45:51,306 Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you? 838 00:45:51,347 --> 00:45:52,813 (BOTH SNORTING) 839 00:45:52,849 --> 00:45:55,010 It just doesn't seem like you packed much. 840 00:45:55,050 --> 00:45:58,110 All I saw was one bag and that briefcase. 841 00:45:58,153 --> 00:46:00,452 Well, no no, the briefcase isn't even ours. 842 00:46:00,489 --> 00:46:02,286 Some lady left it at the airport. 843 00:46:02,324 --> 00:46:04,019 We're just bringing it back to her. 844 00:46:04,059 --> 00:46:05,755 How's your burger? 845 00:46:07,530 --> 00:46:10,795 You mean, you don't even know her? 846 00:46:10,833 --> 00:46:13,266 (LAUGHING) 847 00:46:16,371 --> 00:46:18,862 I mean, 848 00:46:18,907 --> 00:46:23,208 talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 849 00:46:23,246 --> 00:46:26,737 # The bear went over the mountain to see what he could see, hey! # 850 00:46:26,782 --> 00:46:29,842 # The other side of the mountain was all that he could see, so! 851 00:46:29,885 --> 00:46:32,878 # So he went back over the mountain to see what he could see, hey! # 852 00:46:32,922 --> 00:46:35,447 # The other side of the mountain was all the he could see! # 853 00:46:35,490 --> 00:46:37,721 (KETTLE WHISTLING) 854 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,132 (GROANING) 855 00:46:46,168 --> 00:46:48,295 (BOTH LAUGHING) 856 00:46:54,177 --> 00:46:56,440 Are you okay, man? It was just a goof. 857 00:46:56,478 --> 00:46:58,811 Oh, my ulcer! 858 00:46:58,847 --> 00:47:01,338 Quick! My pills! 859 00:47:01,384 --> 00:47:03,851 WAITRESS: Maybe somebody should call an ambulance. 860 00:47:03,885 --> 00:47:05,182 Look, uh, you get the pills. 861 00:47:05,221 --> 00:47:07,018 Don't worry. I know CPR. 862 00:47:07,056 --> 00:47:08,215 I'll get the pills. 863 00:47:08,257 --> 00:47:10,282 Out with the bad air, in with the good. 864 00:47:10,326 --> 00:47:12,556 - Out with the bad air... - Get off! 865 00:47:16,865 --> 00:47:18,128 Ugh! 866 00:47:20,469 --> 00:47:22,902 Agh, don't! Don't don't! 867 00:47:22,938 --> 00:47:24,235 Back back! 868 00:47:24,273 --> 00:47:27,867 This is a lot easier if you just lay back. 869 00:47:27,909 --> 00:47:30,275 - Here. - He's resisting me! 870 00:47:30,313 --> 00:47:33,543 Here. Here we go, here we go. 871 00:47:33,583 --> 00:47:35,483 - LLOYD: Pills! - There you go! There you go. 872 00:47:35,518 --> 00:47:37,418 - Pills are good! - Take 'em down. 873 00:47:37,452 --> 00:47:39,478 - Pills are good! - Drink 'em down. 874 00:47:39,521 --> 00:47:41,251 There you go. 875 00:47:41,289 --> 00:47:43,155 - There you go, big guy. - That's better! 876 00:47:43,192 --> 00:47:45,159 You want some ketchup and mustard? 877 00:47:45,193 --> 00:47:48,253 That helped us. 878 00:47:50,333 --> 00:47:53,791 Son of a bitch! (GURGLING) 879 00:48:03,246 --> 00:48:05,304 Check, please. 880 00:48:08,351 --> 00:48:09,943 I can't believe it. 881 00:48:09,985 --> 00:48:12,284 Life's a fragile thing, Harr. 882 00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,222 One minute you're chewing on a burger, 883 00:48:15,257 --> 00:48:17,521 the next minute you're dead meat. 884 00:48:17,559 --> 00:48:19,994 But he blamed me. You heard him. 885 00:48:20,028 --> 00:48:21,893 Those were his last words. 886 00:48:23,398 --> 00:48:25,559 Not if you count the gurgling sound. 887 00:48:29,572 --> 00:48:32,438 - You mean he was poisoned? - No doubt about it. 888 00:48:32,474 --> 00:48:35,603 We found these next to the body. 889 00:48:35,644 --> 00:48:37,545 - Sir. - Yeah? 890 00:48:37,579 --> 00:48:40,309 Waitress says he came in with a couple of younger guys. 891 00:48:40,349 --> 00:48:43,648 Now they're the ones who called the ambulance, and then they hit the road. 892 00:48:43,686 --> 00:48:46,416 - Get any idea where they were going? - We just received a report 893 00:48:46,454 --> 00:48:49,447 that they were seen headed west on l-80 towards Colorado. 894 00:48:49,492 --> 00:48:51,585 Did you get a make on the vehicle? 895 00:48:53,362 --> 00:48:55,023 Uh, yes, sir. 896 00:48:55,063 --> 00:48:59,501 They're driving an '84... sheepdog. 897 00:48:59,534 --> 00:49:00,818 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 898 00:49:00,853 --> 00:49:02,101 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 899 00:49:02,137 --> 00:49:04,606 (TIRES SCREECH) 900 00:49:16,284 --> 00:49:18,378 - # Take... # - (SNORING) 901 00:49:18,420 --> 00:49:24,086 # Take a picture, take a little time # 902 00:49:24,126 --> 00:49:26,389 # No need to dig through the dumpster # 903 00:49:26,429 --> 00:49:29,956 # For all the stuff you thought that you'd left behind... # 904 00:49:32,668 --> 00:49:35,034 # Take my car # 905 00:49:35,070 --> 00:49:37,699 # Drive it to the outside world # 906 00:49:37,739 --> 00:49:42,074 # Take it far, farther now from me # 907 00:49:42,110 --> 00:49:43,373 # Take it all # 908 00:49:43,411 --> 00:49:46,175 # Happy, girl, the fact is # 909 00:49:46,215 --> 00:49:48,079 # Take my heart # 910 00:49:48,117 --> 00:49:51,382 # Take take take me apart. # 911 00:49:57,126 --> 00:49:58,559 Skis, huh? 912 00:49:58,594 --> 00:50:00,083 That's right. 913 00:50:00,128 --> 00:50:02,097 Great. 914 00:50:02,130 --> 00:50:04,360 They yours? 915 00:50:05,601 --> 00:50:07,329 Uh-huh. 916 00:50:10,072 --> 00:50:11,835 Both of 'em? 917 00:50:13,608 --> 00:50:15,474 Yeah. 918 00:50:15,510 --> 00:50:19,344 Cool. 919 00:50:21,617 --> 00:50:24,085 Um, excuse me, but you're, uh... 920 00:50:24,119 --> 00:50:26,418 you're spraying everywhere. 921 00:50:27,456 --> 00:50:28,945 Oh! 922 00:50:30,425 --> 00:50:34,293 (WHISTLING, URINATING) 923 00:50:49,344 --> 00:50:51,313 (DOOR OPENS) 924 00:50:51,347 --> 00:50:53,338 (DOOR CLOSES) 925 00:50:53,382 --> 00:50:55,873 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) 926 00:50:57,619 --> 00:50:59,610 (ZIPS PANTS) 927 00:51:10,132 --> 00:51:12,760 (DOOR RATTLING) 928 00:51:18,340 --> 00:51:22,208 - (SCREAMS) - Oh, man, you gotta be shitting me. 929 00:51:22,244 --> 00:51:25,007 If it ain't my old friend! 930 00:51:26,548 --> 00:51:29,985 And right on time. 931 00:51:33,655 --> 00:51:35,623 (WHIMPERING) 932 00:51:38,827 --> 00:51:42,092 That's a lot of luggage for a little vacation. 933 00:51:42,130 --> 00:51:44,155 - I'm moving to Aspen. - Oh. 934 00:51:44,199 --> 00:51:47,226 I've got to get away from my boyfriend. He's such a klutz. 935 00:51:47,268 --> 00:51:50,067 Plus, my astrologer told me that I really should stay away 936 00:51:50,106 --> 00:51:52,403 from accident-prone guys, so, you know. 937 00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:54,068 Oh, well, you know, I... 938 00:51:57,278 --> 00:52:00,510 Here. It's a little loose. You might want to... 939 00:52:00,548 --> 00:52:03,643 - Mm. Thank you. - Oh, no. Hey, no, allow me. 940 00:52:03,686 --> 00:52:05,653 I've got a thing of... 941 00:52:05,688 --> 00:52:08,121 here. Got 'em right here. Right here. 942 00:52:13,661 --> 00:52:15,822 - (GASOLINE IGNITES) - Thank you. 943 00:52:15,864 --> 00:52:18,833 Sure. You know, I'm heading up to Aspen myself. 944 00:52:18,867 --> 00:52:20,563 Maybe we could, you know, meet up, 945 00:52:20,603 --> 00:52:22,628 have some hot chocolate or something. 946 00:52:23,873 --> 00:52:26,364 Sure, why not? You seem harmless. 947 00:52:26,407 --> 00:52:27,773 I'm going to give you my number. 948 00:52:27,809 --> 00:52:29,641 - Let me find a pen though. - Great! 949 00:52:29,677 --> 00:52:31,838 - Let's see. - That's... ah! 950 00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:34,144 - I know I have one in here somewhere. - Look, why don't you 951 00:52:34,182 --> 00:52:36,117 just tell it to me? I got a really good memory. 952 00:52:36,152 --> 00:52:38,313 - Well, the number's 555... - 555. 953 00:52:38,353 --> 00:52:41,346 905... wait a minute. That's my old number. 954 00:52:41,389 --> 00:52:43,619 That is so weird how your mind just goes blank. 955 00:52:43,659 --> 00:52:46,492 For God's sakes, just give me the damn number! 956 00:52:46,528 --> 00:52:50,123 Okay, look, uh, you gonna get pushy, forget about it. 957 00:52:56,639 --> 00:52:58,800 Find a happy place. 958 00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,900 Find a happy place. Find a happy place. 959 00:53:01,943 --> 00:53:04,503 I'll show you a happy place. 960 00:53:05,514 --> 00:53:08,449 Here's your happy place. 961 00:53:15,958 --> 00:53:18,255 - (YELLS) - (GROANS) 962 00:53:18,293 --> 00:53:20,922 (PANTING) 963 00:53:37,780 --> 00:53:40,340 (WHIMPERS) 964 00:53:40,382 --> 00:53:43,818 (POLICE RADIO CHATTERING) 965 00:53:43,851 --> 00:53:45,945 MAN: Move those cars! Move it! Move it! 966 00:53:52,260 --> 00:53:54,195 Go around, man. Go around. 967 00:53:54,230 --> 00:53:56,925 More flags over here! 968 00:53:56,965 --> 00:53:58,900 All right, any sign of them yet? 969 00:53:58,934 --> 00:54:00,925 No, sir, but we're expecting them shortly. 970 00:54:00,969 --> 00:54:04,097 A motorist saw a pooch about 30 miles back headed this way. 971 00:54:08,643 --> 00:54:12,273 Look, I told you what happened, okay? So just drop it. 972 00:54:12,313 --> 00:54:14,440 Yeah, okay. Sure thing, Lloyd. Sure thing. 973 00:54:14,483 --> 00:54:16,951 I promise not to mention another word 974 00:54:16,985 --> 00:54:19,454 about you being in a bathroom 975 00:54:19,487 --> 00:54:21,456 with a 6'4" trucker with his pants down. 976 00:54:21,489 --> 00:54:23,889 (LAUGHS) 977 00:54:31,634 --> 00:54:34,000 Hey, look. We're almost in Colorado. 978 00:54:34,036 --> 00:54:36,266 What do you say we change seats? 979 00:54:36,304 --> 00:54:38,534 I've been driving for nine straight hours. 980 00:54:38,574 --> 00:54:41,543 I don't have the energy to start a new state. 981 00:54:41,577 --> 00:54:43,476 Why should I do you any favors? 982 00:54:43,512 --> 00:54:46,572 I'll let you kiss me. (LAUGHS) 983 00:54:46,614 --> 00:54:48,583 I swear... 984 00:54:48,617 --> 00:54:50,880 I'm gonna... I will take your... 985 00:54:50,918 --> 00:54:53,478 I'm... I swear to God I'm gonna take your... 986 00:54:53,521 --> 00:54:56,355 - Aw, come on... - Don't touch me. 987 00:54:56,391 --> 00:54:58,621 (MOCKING) Oh, okay. 988 00:55:02,331 --> 00:55:05,061 I'm done. Okay, enough. 989 00:55:07,302 --> 00:55:10,067 (MIMICS TRUCK HORN, GIGGLING) 990 00:55:14,043 --> 00:55:16,273 (LAUGHING) 991 00:55:17,913 --> 00:55:20,541 Hey, guys. Whoa, Big Gulps, huh? 992 00:55:20,581 --> 00:55:22,277 All right. 993 00:55:22,318 --> 00:55:24,945 Well, see you later. 994 00:55:26,889 --> 00:55:28,822 - (SNORING) - Hey, Harry, 995 00:55:28,856 --> 00:55:30,757 I got some beef jerk... 996 00:55:35,331 --> 00:55:38,994 Some people just weren't cut out for life on the road. 997 00:55:39,034 --> 00:55:41,297 ("CRASH" PLAYING) 998 00:55:41,336 --> 00:55:44,534 # Here you go, way too fast # 999 00:55:44,572 --> 00:55:47,007 # Don't slow down, you're gonna crash # 1000 00:55:47,041 --> 00:55:50,375 # You should watch, watch your step # 1001 00:55:50,411 --> 00:55:52,710 # Don't look out, gonna break your neck # 1002 00:55:52,748 --> 00:55:55,739 # So shut, shut your mouth # 1003 00:55:55,784 --> 00:55:58,411 # 'Cause I'm not listening anyhow # 1004 00:55:58,454 --> 00:56:01,320 # I've had enough, enough of you # 1005 00:56:01,356 --> 00:56:04,326 # Enough to last a lifetime through # 1006 00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:06,088 # With you # 1007 00:56:06,128 --> 00:56:10,155 (FADES) # You. # 1008 00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:13,434 Hey! 1009 00:56:13,469 --> 00:56:17,063 I was wondering when you were gonna get up. 1010 00:56:17,106 --> 00:56:18,902 Ha! 1011 00:56:18,940 --> 00:56:21,876 Well, how long have I been out? 1012 00:56:23,045 --> 00:56:26,172 I'd say a good five hours. 1013 00:56:30,753 --> 00:56:33,550 Huh! I expected the Rocky Mountains 1014 00:56:33,588 --> 00:56:36,717 to be a little rockier than this. 1015 00:56:36,759 --> 00:56:39,556 I was thinking the same thing. 1016 00:56:39,594 --> 00:56:43,086 That John Denver's full of shit, man. 1017 00:56:46,902 --> 00:56:49,132 I'm only human, Harry! 1018 00:56:49,170 --> 00:56:52,606 Anybody can make a mistake. 1019 00:56:52,641 --> 00:56:56,007 Come on, stop being a baby! 1020 00:56:56,043 --> 00:56:58,568 So we backtracked a tad! 1021 00:56:58,614 --> 00:57:00,514 A tad?! 1022 00:57:00,548 --> 00:57:02,641 A tad, Lloyd? 1023 00:57:02,684 --> 00:57:05,744 You drove almost 1/6 of the way 1024 00:57:05,788 --> 00:57:09,121 across the country in the wrong direction! 1025 00:57:10,893 --> 00:57:13,418 Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen! 1026 00:57:13,461 --> 00:57:15,123 We don't have enough money to get home! 1027 00:57:15,164 --> 00:57:17,655 We don't have enough money to eat! 1028 00:57:17,699 --> 00:57:20,327 We don't have enough money to sleep! 1029 00:57:21,603 --> 00:57:23,900 Well, it's not gonna do us any good 1030 00:57:23,938 --> 00:57:25,769 to sit here whining about it. 1031 00:57:25,807 --> 00:57:27,900 - We're in a hole. - ("MMM MMM MMM MMM" PLAYING) 1032 00:57:27,943 --> 00:57:30,411 We're just going to have to dig ourselves out. 1033 00:57:31,947 --> 00:57:33,641 Okay, all right. You're right. 1034 00:57:33,681 --> 00:57:35,581 You're absolutely right, Lloyd. 1035 00:57:35,617 --> 00:57:37,914 - # Mmm mmm mmm mmm # - Where're you going? 1036 00:57:37,952 --> 00:57:41,650 - # Mmm mmm mmm mmm # - Home. I'm walking home. 1037 00:57:41,690 --> 00:57:46,184 Oh, well, pardon me, Mr. Perfect! 1038 00:57:46,228 --> 00:57:47,990 I guess I forgot 1039 00:57:48,030 --> 00:57:50,657 that you never, ever make a mistake! 1040 00:57:50,699 --> 00:57:53,759 (SINGER VOCALIZING) 1041 00:58:14,655 --> 00:58:17,146 LLOYD: Harry! 1042 00:58:17,192 --> 00:58:18,887 Harry! 1043 00:58:18,927 --> 00:58:21,623 Harry! 1044 00:58:21,663 --> 00:58:23,927 Harry! Wait up! 1045 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,331 - (ENGINE BACKFIRES) - (YELLS) 1046 00:58:34,175 --> 00:58:36,474 (BELL RINGS) 1047 00:58:36,512 --> 00:58:38,480 (BIRD CAWING) 1048 00:58:38,514 --> 00:58:41,483 Got room for one more if you still want to go to Aspen. 1049 00:58:41,516 --> 00:58:43,643 Where did you find that? 1050 00:58:43,684 --> 00:58:46,210 Some kid back in town. 1051 00:58:46,255 --> 00:58:48,951 Traded the van for it straight up. 1052 00:58:48,990 --> 00:58:52,153 I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog. 1053 00:58:57,599 --> 00:59:00,032 You know, Lloyd, just when I think 1054 00:59:00,068 --> 00:59:03,594 you couldn't possibly be any dumber, 1055 00:59:03,639 --> 00:59:07,836 you go and do something like this... 1056 00:59:07,876 --> 00:59:11,710 and totally redeem yourself! 1057 00:59:11,746 --> 00:59:14,943 Ha ha! 1058 00:59:14,983 --> 00:59:17,213 - Still wanna go to Aspen? - Oh, yeah! 1059 00:59:17,251 --> 00:59:20,914 - Okay, let's go, buddy! - Super! 1060 00:59:20,956 --> 00:59:23,822 - (BELL RINGS) - ("WHERE I FIND MY HEAVEN" PLAYING) 1061 00:59:23,858 --> 00:59:27,795 - Lloyd, no! West! Go west, Lloyd! - Oh! Oh, yeah. 1062 00:59:36,672 --> 00:59:39,766 # Hey, Monday morning # 1063 00:59:39,807 --> 00:59:43,208 # Is only for the brave # 1064 00:59:43,244 --> 00:59:46,873 # And the blood flows through my heart and veins # 1065 00:59:46,914 --> 00:59:50,577 # Like sand as I shave # 1066 00:59:50,619 --> 00:59:53,884 # And the wind outside # 1067 00:59:53,922 --> 00:59:56,652 # And the taxi's ready... # 1068 00:59:56,692 --> 00:59:59,661 - (HORN HONKS) - # And the lonesome hum # 1069 00:59:59,695 --> 01:00:01,992 # That comes from my desk lamp # 1070 01:00:02,030 --> 01:00:05,795 # Is where I find my heaven # 1071 01:00:05,833 --> 01:00:11,204 # It's where I find my heaven... # 1072 01:00:12,940 --> 01:00:15,340 I've got to... I've got to stop 1073 01:00:15,376 --> 01:00:17,572 to go to the bathroom. 1074 01:00:17,612 --> 01:00:20,012 Just go, man. 1075 01:00:21,349 --> 01:00:23,146 Oh! 1076 01:00:24,987 --> 01:00:27,217 That sure is warm. 1077 01:00:31,626 --> 01:00:34,117 # It's where I find my heaven # 1078 01:00:34,161 --> 01:00:37,858 - # It's where I find my heaven # - # Where I find my... # 1079 01:00:37,898 --> 01:00:40,094 # It's where I find my heaven... # 1080 01:00:40,135 --> 01:00:42,864 (TRUCK HORN HONKS) 1081 01:00:42,903 --> 01:00:46,635 # Heav... # 1082 01:00:46,675 --> 01:00:51,476 # Heaven. # 1083 01:00:59,887 --> 01:01:02,947 (BOTH SHIVERING) 1084 01:01:08,230 --> 01:01:10,561 (BELL TOLLING) 1085 01:01:28,416 --> 01:01:30,907 We're there. 1086 01:01:38,393 --> 01:01:40,327 Got a little nippy 1087 01:01:40,362 --> 01:01:43,331 going through the pass back there. 1088 01:01:45,766 --> 01:01:48,360 Lloyd: Isn't this incredible? 1089 01:01:48,402 --> 01:01:51,371 - What more could two single guys want? - How about some food? 1090 01:01:51,405 --> 01:01:54,375 I swallowed a big June bug when we were driving. 1091 01:01:54,409 --> 01:01:55,898 I'm not really hungry. 1092 01:01:55,943 --> 01:01:57,878 Well, I'm starving. 1093 01:01:57,913 --> 01:02:01,007 Ho... Jeez, look at the butt on that. 1094 01:02:01,048 --> 01:02:03,108 LLOYD: Yeah. 1095 01:02:03,150 --> 01:02:05,983 He must work out. 1096 01:02:06,021 --> 01:02:08,079 Hey! Why don't we get busy 1097 01:02:08,123 --> 01:02:09,987 and deliver the briefcase to Mary? 1098 01:02:10,025 --> 01:02:11,753 If I know her as well as I think I do 1099 01:02:11,793 --> 01:02:13,987 she'll invite us right in for tea and strumpets. 1100 01:02:14,028 --> 01:02:16,088 Good plan. Where does she live? 1101 01:02:16,130 --> 01:02:18,030 I don't know. 1102 01:02:18,065 --> 01:02:20,728 What's her last name? I'll look it up. 1103 01:02:20,768 --> 01:02:22,702 Uh... 1104 01:02:22,737 --> 01:02:26,230 You know, I don't really recall. 1105 01:02:26,273 --> 01:02:28,105 Starts with an "S." 1106 01:02:28,143 --> 01:02:32,340 S-swim, Swamie, S-slippy, Slappy, 1107 01:02:32,380 --> 01:02:35,041 Slimin, Solmon, Simin, Sal, 1108 01:02:35,083 --> 01:02:36,242 Swenson, Swanson? 1109 01:02:36,284 --> 01:02:38,081 Maybe it's on the briefcase. 1110 01:02:38,119 --> 01:02:39,985 Oh, yeah! It's right here. 1111 01:02:40,021 --> 01:02:42,420 Samsonite! I was way off. 1112 01:02:42,456 --> 01:02:44,721 I knew it started with an "S" though. 1113 01:02:46,161 --> 01:02:48,253 I'm not seeing it here, Lloyd. 1114 01:02:48,295 --> 01:02:50,559 She must be unlisted. 1115 01:02:53,235 --> 01:02:55,202 Great. 1116 01:02:55,237 --> 01:02:57,467 So what are we supposed to do now? 1117 01:02:57,505 --> 01:03:00,998 (FOX HOWLS) 1118 01:03:01,041 --> 01:03:05,103 - I can't feel my fi-fingers anymore. - (WIND WHISTLING) 1119 01:03:05,146 --> 01:03:08,139 They're-they're- they're numb. 1120 01:03:09,851 --> 01:03:12,978 Ooh. Maybe you should wear these extra gloves. 1121 01:03:13,021 --> 01:03:15,956 My hands are starting to get sweaty. 1122 01:03:15,990 --> 01:03:19,188 Extra gloves? 1123 01:03:19,226 --> 01:03:21,525 You've had this pair 1124 01:03:21,563 --> 01:03:24,327 of extra gloves this whole time? 1125 01:03:25,967 --> 01:03:28,367 Yeah. We're in the Rockies. 1126 01:03:30,972 --> 01:03:32,735 I'm going to kill you. 1127 01:03:33,942 --> 01:03:36,467 - What? - I'm gonna kill you! 1128 01:03:36,510 --> 01:03:39,809 - I'm gonna kill you, Lloyd! - Calm down! 1129 01:03:39,847 --> 01:03:41,371 Right now, I'm gonna kill you! 1130 01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:43,748 Harry, you got that crazy look in your eye! 1131 01:03:45,353 --> 01:03:49,311 (CHUCKLES) I know what I'm going to do. 1132 01:03:49,356 --> 01:03:51,483 - What are you doing? - I'm going to do something 1133 01:03:51,525 --> 01:03:54,050 I should have done a long time ago. 1134 01:03:55,063 --> 01:03:56,860 Don't do anything foolish, Harry! 1135 01:03:56,898 --> 01:03:59,230 What? Foolish? This isn't foolish! 1136 01:03:59,266 --> 01:04:01,565 I'm going to toss this damn curse 1137 01:04:01,603 --> 01:04:03,900 right into that damn pond! 1138 01:04:03,938 --> 01:04:05,668 Aah! 1139 01:04:07,175 --> 01:04:10,371 - I'm going to do it! - No, Harry! 1140 01:04:12,313 --> 01:04:15,215 (SCREAMS) Harry! 1141 01:04:15,250 --> 01:04:17,844 Your hands are freezing! 1142 01:04:17,885 --> 01:04:20,286 Aah! Ugh! 1143 01:04:20,322 --> 01:04:22,585 Harry, look! 1144 01:04:22,623 --> 01:04:25,320 Look! Look! 1145 01:04:30,097 --> 01:04:32,396 Okay, here's the plan: 1146 01:04:32,434 --> 01:04:35,300 We borrow a few bucks... just a small loan from the briefcase 1147 01:04:35,336 --> 01:04:38,362 - and we find some reasonable lodgings. - Good plan. 1148 01:04:38,405 --> 01:04:41,101 And we'll keep track of all the money we spend with IOUs. 1149 01:04:41,141 --> 01:04:43,371 We'll be meticulous, right down to the last penny. 1150 01:04:43,411 --> 01:04:45,844 - Whatever we borrow, we pay back. - Absolutely. 1151 01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:48,280 - We're good for it. - Our word is our bond. 1152 01:04:49,985 --> 01:04:51,976 This is the Hotel Danbury 1153 01:04:52,019 --> 01:04:53,987 Presidential Suite, gentlemen, 1154 01:04:54,021 --> 01:04:56,012 normally reserved for royalty, 1155 01:04:56,056 --> 01:04:57,853 visiting dignitaries, 1156 01:04:57,893 --> 01:05:00,293 illustrious stars of stage and screen. 1157 01:05:00,327 --> 01:05:03,855 We have shortly coming the Emperor and Empress of Japan, 1158 01:05:03,898 --> 01:05:06,867 and of course, Princess Charles and Di when they were together 1159 01:05:06,902 --> 01:05:08,893 used to frequent the hotel constantly. 1160 01:05:08,936 --> 01:05:10,427 We'll take it! 1161 01:05:10,472 --> 01:05:12,804 - (ENGINE REVS) - ("YOU SEXY THING" PLAYING) 1162 01:05:19,447 --> 01:05:23,041 # I believe in miracles, baby # 1163 01:05:23,083 --> 01:05:26,485 # Since you came along, you sexy thing # 1164 01:05:26,521 --> 01:05:28,512 # You sexy thing, you # 1165 01:05:28,556 --> 01:05:31,650 # I believe in miracles, baby # 1166 01:05:31,693 --> 01:05:34,286 # Since you came along # 1167 01:05:34,329 --> 01:05:38,561 - # You sexy thing # - # You sexy thing, you... # 1168 01:05:40,068 --> 01:05:41,797 There you go. 1169 01:05:43,471 --> 01:05:45,438 - There you go. - Thank you, sir. 1170 01:05:45,472 --> 01:05:47,407 - There you go. - Thank you, sir. 1171 01:05:47,442 --> 01:05:49,103 - There you go. - Thank you, sir. 1172 01:05:49,143 --> 01:05:51,543 There you go. 1173 01:05:53,447 --> 01:05:55,313 Hi. 1174 01:05:55,349 --> 01:05:57,079 (BOTH SOBBING) 1175 01:05:57,117 --> 01:05:59,552 Narrator on TV: Rain brought them to him. 1176 01:05:59,586 --> 01:06:01,452 Girl on TV: My mother was Sarah Carver. 1177 01:06:01,489 --> 01:06:03,684 Narrator: Although at the time, he wasn't sure 1178 01:06:03,724 --> 01:06:05,989 he wanted to accept the gift. 1179 01:06:06,027 --> 01:06:08,393 Girl on TV: Nick, do you think he'll let us stay? 1180 01:06:08,429 --> 01:06:10,454 Nick on TV: No, this place is ugly, anyway. 1181 01:06:10,498 --> 01:06:13,592 You and me, we're a family. 1182 01:06:13,635 --> 01:06:16,159 Man: I promise never to give you away. 1183 01:06:16,204 --> 01:06:19,036 And no one's ever going to break us apart. 1184 01:06:19,074 --> 01:06:22,237 At Pacific Bell, we believe that's pretty special. 1185 01:06:22,277 --> 01:06:23,923 - Wow! Boy, this is livin', huh? - Yeah. 1186 01:06:23,958 --> 01:06:25,570 - Wow! Boy, this is livin', huh? - Yeah. 1187 01:06:25,612 --> 01:06:28,137 - What's on next? - I don't know. 1188 01:06:28,182 --> 01:06:30,413 Let me look it up. 1189 01:06:30,452 --> 01:06:32,317 Ah! 1190 01:06:32,353 --> 01:06:34,378 Lloyd, you okay? 1191 01:06:34,422 --> 01:06:36,514 Harry, it's Mary! 1192 01:06:36,557 --> 01:06:38,355 It's who? 1193 01:06:38,393 --> 01:06:40,519 Mary with the briefcase. 1194 01:06:40,561 --> 01:06:43,724 Mary Swanson. 1195 01:06:43,764 --> 01:06:46,164 Swanson! 1196 01:06:46,201 --> 01:06:49,398 - Wool hast anool... - "Host annual." 1197 01:06:49,436 --> 01:06:53,134 - Host anewl... annual... - Annual. 1198 01:06:53,173 --> 01:06:54,971 "Annual meeting of..." 1199 01:06:55,010 --> 01:06:56,978 t-t-t-heh... 1200 01:06:57,012 --> 01:06:58,536 t-he... t-he... 1201 01:06:58,579 --> 01:07:00,445 - The. - Oh. 1202 01:07:00,481 --> 01:07:03,541 - "The Inter..." (SIGHS) - Yeah. It's a big one. 1203 01:07:03,585 --> 01:07:06,610 "International Preservation Society tomorrow night." 1204 01:07:06,653 --> 01:07:09,521 ("OH, PRETTY WOMAN" PLAYING) 1205 01:07:09,556 --> 01:07:11,286 Well, come on, Cinderella. 1206 01:07:11,326 --> 01:07:14,193 We've got to get you ready for the ball! 1207 01:07:21,135 --> 01:07:24,594 # Pretty woman, walking down the street # 1208 01:07:24,639 --> 01:07:28,405 # Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet # 1209 01:07:28,443 --> 01:07:31,003 # Pretty woman # 1210 01:07:31,045 --> 01:07:34,708 # I don't believe you, you're not the truth # 1211 01:07:34,748 --> 01:07:39,014 # No one could look as good as you... # 1212 01:07:41,188 --> 01:07:42,713 - (GRINDING) - # Mercy! # 1213 01:07:46,226 --> 01:07:50,094 # Pretty woman, won't you pardon me? # 1214 01:07:50,130 --> 01:07:54,067 # Pretty woman, I couldn't help but see # 1215 01:07:54,101 --> 01:07:56,661 # Pretty woman # 1216 01:07:56,704 --> 01:08:00,469 # That you look lovely as can be # 1217 01:08:00,507 --> 01:08:06,344 # Are you lonely just like me? # 1218 01:08:06,380 --> 01:08:08,871 (SINGER GROWLS) 1219 01:08:12,820 --> 01:08:16,756 # Pretty woman, stop awhile # 1220 01:08:16,791 --> 01:08:20,488 # Pretty woman, talk awhile # 1221 01:08:20,528 --> 01:08:27,457 # Pretty woman, give your smile to me # 1222 01:08:27,502 --> 01:08:31,666 # Pretty woman, yeah yeah yeah # 1223 01:08:31,706 --> 01:08:35,403 - (SCISSORS SNIPPING) - # Pretty woman, look my way # 1224 01:08:35,443 --> 01:08:40,005 # Pretty woman, say you'll stay with me... # 1225 01:08:41,882 --> 01:08:45,079 # 'Cause I need you # 1226 01:08:45,119 --> 01:08:48,385 - # I'll treat you right... # - (LOUD BUZZING) 1227 01:08:48,422 --> 01:08:52,381 # Come with me, baby # 1228 01:08:52,426 --> 01:08:55,362 # Be mine tonight... # 1229 01:08:55,395 --> 01:08:57,761 Yeah! 1230 01:09:00,635 --> 01:09:01,668 # Pretty woman. # 1231 01:09:02,737 --> 01:09:04,829 (LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING) 1232 01:09:06,673 --> 01:09:08,664 Thanks, Barn. There you go. 1233 01:09:08,710 --> 01:09:10,701 Thank you, sir. 1234 01:09:27,362 --> 01:09:28,886 Okay okay okay. 1235 01:09:28,930 --> 01:09:30,453 - Ha! - Cripes! 1236 01:09:30,497 --> 01:09:32,693 Yes! Yes! Yes! 1237 01:09:36,570 --> 01:09:38,037 Agh! 1238 01:09:39,407 --> 01:09:42,171 - Time out! - Okay. 1239 01:09:42,210 --> 01:09:45,645 Excuse me. Gentlemen, this is a $500-a-plate dinner. 1240 01:09:45,680 --> 01:09:49,171 - Good night. - Oh, 500... oh, okay. No problem. 1241 01:09:49,216 --> 01:09:52,243 Here. Put us down for... put us down for four. 1242 01:09:52,287 --> 01:09:54,448 In case we want seconds. 1243 01:09:55,756 --> 01:09:58,020 (INHALES SHARPLY) 1244 01:10:00,828 --> 01:10:03,353 Jesus Christ. It's them. 1245 01:10:03,398 --> 01:10:04,921 - Them who? - Them, 1246 01:10:04,966 --> 01:10:07,627 the guys who whacked Mental. 1247 01:10:08,670 --> 01:10:10,261 Can't you just feel it, Harry? 1248 01:10:10,305 --> 01:10:11,931 This is our big chance, man. 1249 01:10:11,972 --> 01:10:13,735 All we gotta do 1250 01:10:13,774 --> 01:10:16,243 is show a little class, a little sophistication, 1251 01:10:16,277 --> 01:10:18,301 and we're in like a dirty shirt. 1252 01:10:18,345 --> 01:10:20,779 That's no problem, Lloyd. We can be classy and sophistic... 1253 01:10:20,814 --> 01:10:22,783 oh, look at the funbags on that hosehound. 1254 01:10:22,817 --> 01:10:25,284 I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans 1255 01:10:25,319 --> 01:10:27,287 and a nice bottle of Chianti. 1256 01:10:27,322 --> 01:10:29,654 (BOTH MIMIC HANNIBAL LECTER) 1257 01:10:29,690 --> 01:10:32,524 Come on, let's go get a couple bowls of loudmouth soup. 1258 01:10:32,560 --> 01:10:34,288 Yeah. 1259 01:10:34,328 --> 01:10:36,421 Hey, bartender, 1260 01:10:36,463 --> 01:10:38,658 - two martinis, please. - Yes, sir. Right away. 1261 01:10:38,699 --> 01:10:41,668 NICHOLAS: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please? 1262 01:10:41,703 --> 01:10:43,796 The Aspen Preservation Society 1263 01:10:43,837 --> 01:10:45,863 is the world's foremost defender 1264 01:10:45,907 --> 01:10:48,899 of 23 endangered species, 1265 01:10:48,943 --> 01:10:51,434 and it is with tremendous honor 1266 01:10:51,479 --> 01:10:54,243 that we're able to bring Mr. Swanson forward 1267 01:10:54,282 --> 01:10:56,648 to introduce us to the 24th. Everybody... 1268 01:10:56,684 --> 01:10:58,618 Karl. 1269 01:10:58,653 --> 01:11:00,814 Thank you, Nick. 1270 01:11:02,856 --> 01:11:04,791 Thank you. 1271 01:11:04,826 --> 01:11:06,622 Ladies and gentlemen, 1272 01:11:06,661 --> 01:11:09,653 I give you the Icelandic snow owl. 1273 01:11:09,697 --> 01:11:13,462 (DRUM ROLL) 1274 01:11:13,501 --> 01:11:14,694 (CYMBALS CRASH) 1275 01:11:14,735 --> 01:11:17,296 (APPLAUSE) 1276 01:11:17,337 --> 01:11:20,796 These magnificent specimens constitute one seventh 1277 01:11:20,841 --> 01:11:23,675 of the snow owl population left on the planet. 1278 01:11:23,711 --> 01:11:26,645 And God willing, with your help 1279 01:11:26,680 --> 01:11:28,739 and that of the Society's, 1280 01:11:28,783 --> 01:11:31,945 these wonderful creatures will flourish once more. 1281 01:11:31,985 --> 01:11:35,182 Thank you again and enjoy your evening. 1282 01:11:37,792 --> 01:11:40,021 Can I have some pistachios, please? 1283 01:11:41,962 --> 01:11:43,828 And another one of those. 1284 01:11:43,864 --> 01:11:46,265 Lloyd, what are you doing? Would you calm down? 1285 01:11:46,301 --> 01:11:48,769 I've never seen you so nervous. 1286 01:11:48,802 --> 01:11:52,533 Keep an eye on 'em, Shay. Keep a close eye. 1287 01:11:52,573 --> 01:11:54,734 I'm ready for a commitment, Harry. 1288 01:11:54,775 --> 01:11:57,609 The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, 1289 01:11:57,645 --> 01:12:01,307 I just got that old-fashioned romantic feeling 1290 01:12:01,349 --> 01:12:03,613 where I'd do anything to bone her. 1291 01:12:03,650 --> 01:12:05,743 That's a special feeling, Lloyd. 1292 01:12:05,787 --> 01:12:07,778 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1293 01:12:07,822 --> 01:12:10,881 Oh my, there she is. 1294 01:12:10,925 --> 01:12:13,291 Wow! You weren't kidding, Lloyd. 1295 01:12:13,328 --> 01:12:15,989 She's an angel! (WHISTLES) 1296 01:12:16,997 --> 01:12:18,761 Well, what are you waiting for? 1297 01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:21,632 Get over there and talk to her. 1298 01:12:25,472 --> 01:12:27,805 She's just going to think I'm some kind of a psycho 1299 01:12:27,841 --> 01:12:30,072 when she finds out how far I came just to see her! 1300 01:12:30,110 --> 01:12:31,975 You know what you have?! Her briefcase! 1301 01:12:32,012 --> 01:12:35,005 She's gonna be thrilled to see you. 1302 01:12:35,048 --> 01:12:38,347 Wait. I have an idea. 1303 01:12:39,619 --> 01:12:41,952 Why don't you go over 1304 01:12:41,988 --> 01:12:43,922 and introduce yourself? 1305 01:12:43,957 --> 01:12:45,926 And that way, you can build me up 1306 01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:47,927 so I won't have to brag about myself later. 1307 01:12:47,962 --> 01:12:49,895 Tell her I'm rich 1308 01:12:49,930 --> 01:12:52,399 and, uh, I'm good-looking 1309 01:12:52,432 --> 01:12:54,457 and, uh, I have a rapist wit. 1310 01:12:54,502 --> 01:12:56,560 No, I don't know. I don't think I could... no. 1311 01:12:56,604 --> 01:12:59,368 - Come on, please. - No, I'm not... 1312 01:12:59,407 --> 01:13:02,501 - Please! Please! - Okay okay okay. Stop. 1313 01:13:02,542 --> 01:13:04,443 What are you gonna do? 1314 01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:06,743 I'm going to hang by the bar, 1315 01:13:06,780 --> 01:13:10,148 - put out the vibe. - Okay. 1316 01:13:20,828 --> 01:13:23,228 Nice set of hooters you got there. 1317 01:13:25,533 --> 01:13:28,797 - I beg your pardon? - The owls, they're beautiful. 1318 01:13:30,171 --> 01:13:32,502 Oh. 1319 01:13:32,539 --> 01:13:34,507 Yeah. 1320 01:13:34,542 --> 01:13:36,475 Are you a bird lover? 1321 01:13:36,511 --> 01:13:39,002 Me? Oh, no. Well, I used to have a parakeet... 1322 01:13:39,046 --> 01:13:41,947 - Ah. ...but now my main area of expertise 1323 01:13:41,983 --> 01:13:44,474 is, uh, canines... 1324 01:13:44,519 --> 01:13:46,645 "dogs" to the layperson. 1325 01:13:47,654 --> 01:13:49,850 - Thanks. - Mm-hmm. 1326 01:13:50,858 --> 01:13:53,827 - I love dogs too. - Oh. 1327 01:13:53,860 --> 01:13:56,125 - So how are you involved with them? - Oh, you know, 1328 01:13:56,163 --> 01:13:59,132 I've trained them, bathed them, clipped them. 1329 01:13:59,167 --> 01:14:00,930 - I've even bred them. - Oh, really? 1330 01:14:00,967 --> 01:14:02,935 - Any unusual breeding? - No. 1331 01:14:02,970 --> 01:14:05,029 Mostly just doggy-style. 1332 01:14:05,072 --> 01:14:08,404 One time, we successfully mated 1333 01:14:08,443 --> 01:14:10,809 a bulldog with a shih-tzu. 1334 01:14:10,845 --> 01:14:13,746 Really? That's weird. 1335 01:14:13,780 --> 01:14:16,408 Yeah. We... we called it a bullshit. 1336 01:14:16,451 --> 01:14:18,180 (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 1337 01:14:27,561 --> 01:14:29,859 Oh, I'm... anyway, the real reason 1338 01:14:29,896 --> 01:14:32,057 I came over here was to... 1339 01:14:32,099 --> 01:14:35,033 I've got to introduce you to a buddy of mine. 1340 01:14:35,069 --> 01:14:38,527 - I don't believe I've met your friend. - Oh. 1341 01:14:38,573 --> 01:14:41,064 Well, actually, we haven't been properly introduced. 1342 01:14:41,108 --> 01:14:43,872 - My name is Mary Swanson. - Hi, Harry Dunne. 1343 01:14:43,911 --> 01:14:46,640 Hi. Nice to meet you. This is my stepmother Helen. 1344 01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:48,944 Hi. Harry Dunne. Pleasure to meet you both. 1345 01:14:48,983 --> 01:14:51,177 Mm-hmm. Well, I saw you come in. 1346 01:14:51,219 --> 01:14:53,516 I was hoping I'd get a chance to meet you. 1347 01:14:53,554 --> 01:14:57,752 - You were? Really? - Yes! That tuxedo, it's fabulous! 1348 01:14:57,792 --> 01:15:00,590 Really. I love a man with a sense of humor, 1349 01:15:00,627 --> 01:15:03,494 and so does Mary. It's hysterical! 1350 01:15:03,530 --> 01:15:05,088 - Really? - Oh, yes. 1351 01:15:05,131 --> 01:15:08,123 Oh. Anyway, um, about my friend... 1352 01:15:08,168 --> 01:15:11,502 What are you doing tomorrow? I believe that Mary 1353 01:15:11,538 --> 01:15:13,199 is looking for someone to hit the slopes with. 1354 01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:14,970 She... what? Huh? 1355 01:15:15,009 --> 01:15:17,944 Helen, you're embarrassing me. 1356 01:15:17,979 --> 01:15:19,947 Well, you are. I mean, after all, 1357 01:15:19,980 --> 01:15:22,108 the snow's going to be gone in a couple of weeks. 1358 01:15:22,149 --> 01:15:24,014 And, well, this may be your last chance. 1359 01:15:24,051 --> 01:15:26,144 Poor thing, she never gets a chance to get out. 1360 01:15:26,186 --> 01:15:28,849 Well, what do you say, Mr. Dunne? Are you available? 1361 01:15:28,890 --> 01:15:31,188 Well, I don't know. See, my friend... 1362 01:15:31,225 --> 01:15:33,090 Oh, forget your friend for one day. 1363 01:15:33,127 --> 01:15:36,220 I think you kids'll have a wonderful time. What do you say? 1364 01:15:36,264 --> 01:15:38,493 Well, you know, I don't know, you know. 1365 01:15:38,533 --> 01:15:40,966 You know, the thing... part of... sure. 1366 01:15:41,002 --> 01:15:44,130 What time? Ahem... 1367 01:15:47,542 --> 01:15:50,033 How come you didn't bring her over? 1368 01:15:50,077 --> 01:15:52,045 Relax. You're golden. 1369 01:15:52,078 --> 01:15:54,512 - I got you a date with her tomorrow. - Oh. 1370 01:15:56,117 --> 01:15:58,551 - (STAMMERS) What... I... this... - Yeah. 1371 01:15:58,586 --> 01:16:00,850 - I love you, man. - Okay okay. 1372 01:16:00,887 --> 01:16:02,719 - You're kissing me. - I love you. 1373 01:16:02,756 --> 01:16:05,225 - I love you! - You're kissing me. Lloyd! 1374 01:16:07,627 --> 01:16:10,256 This calls for a little of the bubbly! 1375 01:16:10,297 --> 01:16:12,528 - You're going to be my best man, Harr. - Oh, good. 1376 01:16:12,567 --> 01:16:14,125 - I promise. - Thank you. 1377 01:16:14,167 --> 01:16:16,136 You have just earned yourself a seat 1378 01:16:16,170 --> 01:16:20,128 at the head table, pal. And we already got the tuxes. 1379 01:16:21,341 --> 01:16:23,275 - (LOUD THUD) - (OWL SQUAWKS) 1380 01:16:26,980 --> 01:16:29,313 - WOMAN: Gracious sakes! - (CROWD MURMURING) 1381 01:16:29,350 --> 01:16:33,012 - MAN: Good grief! - Boy, this party really died. 1382 01:16:40,123 --> 01:16:42,614 Hey, maybe it was a coincidence. 1383 01:16:42,658 --> 01:16:45,184 (MIMICS) Hey, maybe it was a coincidence. 1384 01:16:45,229 --> 01:16:48,686 It was a message, Shay, pure and simple. 1385 01:16:48,731 --> 01:16:50,926 I mean, we killed their bird. 1386 01:16:50,967 --> 01:16:53,993 Now they killed one of ours. 1387 01:16:55,939 --> 01:16:57,997 How could anybody whack a bird with a cork? 1388 01:16:58,041 --> 01:17:00,338 These guys aren't just anybody. 1389 01:17:00,377 --> 01:17:03,436 They're good. 1390 01:17:09,319 --> 01:17:11,650 Mary Christmas. 1391 01:17:11,688 --> 01:17:14,452 Mrs. Mary Christmas. 1392 01:17:16,025 --> 01:17:19,426 - Kinda catchy, huh, Harr? - Yeah yeah, that sounds nice. 1393 01:17:19,462 --> 01:17:22,863 But, Lloyd, don't you think you might be jumping the gun a little bit? 1394 01:17:22,899 --> 01:17:24,833 I mean, you know, who knows? 1395 01:17:24,868 --> 01:17:26,733 You know, maybe, once you get to know her 1396 01:17:26,770 --> 01:17:29,101 you'll find out that she's not your type. 1397 01:17:31,175 --> 01:17:32,938 Hey! 1398 01:17:32,975 --> 01:17:36,139 Don't you ever say that again! 1399 01:17:37,213 --> 01:17:39,204 She is the love of my life! 1400 01:17:39,248 --> 01:17:41,682 The blood in my veins! 1401 01:17:41,717 --> 01:17:43,412 We belong together... 1402 01:17:43,453 --> 01:17:45,751 till the mountains fall into the sea, 1403 01:17:45,788 --> 01:17:47,689 till the heavens collide! 1404 01:17:47,724 --> 01:17:50,318 Or until I get sick of her and need to move on. 1405 01:17:50,359 --> 01:17:53,796 - You hear me?! - Okay okay okay okay. Just calm down. 1406 01:17:53,831 --> 01:17:55,695 Just calm down. 1407 01:17:55,731 --> 01:17:58,222 (PANTING) Okay. 1408 01:17:58,268 --> 01:18:01,328 Now... 1409 01:18:01,371 --> 01:18:03,838 let me get this straight. 1410 01:18:03,873 --> 01:18:07,070 Lobby bar in the lobby. 1411 01:18:07,109 --> 01:18:08,872 Yeah, and that's what she said. 1412 01:18:08,912 --> 01:18:11,141 She'll meet you there at 10:00 sharp. 1413 01:18:12,216 --> 01:18:14,342 - Okay. - Okay. 1414 01:18:16,920 --> 01:18:19,149 Where're you going in that get-up? 1415 01:18:20,823 --> 01:18:22,814 Oh. I... you know, I just thought, you know, 1416 01:18:22,859 --> 01:18:24,953 when you'd be off making your love connection 1417 01:18:24,994 --> 01:18:27,292 I'd be out trying my luck on the slopes. 1418 01:18:27,331 --> 01:18:29,298 You mean you're gonna go out in public 1419 01:18:29,332 --> 01:18:31,323 dressed in tights? 1420 01:18:31,368 --> 01:18:33,301 Oh no, these aren't tights, Lloyd. 1421 01:18:33,337 --> 01:18:35,805 These are fashionable Euro-trash ski trousers. 1422 01:18:35,838 --> 01:18:38,136 Pretty revealing. 1423 01:18:39,141 --> 01:18:40,439 Really? 1424 01:18:40,476 --> 01:18:42,502 Yeah, but it's just a tiny lump. 1425 01:18:42,546 --> 01:18:44,945 No one'll notice. 1426 01:18:44,981 --> 01:18:47,542 You're right. I can't go out dressed like this. 1427 01:18:49,786 --> 01:18:51,381 ("NEW AGE GIRL" PLAYING) 1428 01:18:51,417 --> 01:18:52,979 ("NEW AGE GIRL" PLAYING) 1429 01:18:53,023 --> 01:18:56,423 # Rah! # 1430 01:18:56,460 --> 01:19:00,122 - # I've got a New Age girl # - # Tell us what she's like # 1431 01:19:00,162 --> 01:19:03,792 - # Environmentalist girl # - # Does she ride a bike? # 1432 01:19:03,833 --> 01:19:05,893 - # She has a crystal necklace... # - Hey! 1433 01:19:05,935 --> 01:19:07,460 - Coming! - # She spend a lot of cash? # 1434 01:19:07,503 --> 01:19:09,494 # Though her vibes are rather reckless # 1435 01:19:09,538 --> 01:19:12,302 - # Heading for the crash... # - Hey! 1436 01:19:12,341 --> 01:19:15,105 Man: Nice going, buddy! 1437 01:19:15,145 --> 01:19:17,875 # ... and she wonders about knowing, where did we begin? # 1438 01:19:17,914 --> 01:19:20,509 # Mary Moon # 1439 01:19:20,550 --> 01:19:24,542 - # She's a vegetarian # - # Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon # 1440 01:19:24,587 --> 01:19:29,389 # Mary Moon will help with all the septuagenarians... # 1441 01:19:29,426 --> 01:19:32,087 - # Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon. - Ma'am. 1442 01:19:32,128 --> 01:19:36,155 # Mary Moon, she's an intellectual... # 1443 01:19:36,198 --> 01:19:38,167 Beautiful outfit, sir. 1444 01:19:38,201 --> 01:19:40,260 There you go. 1445 01:19:40,304 --> 01:19:43,864 # Mary Moon, despite that fact, remains quite sexual # 1446 01:19:43,907 --> 01:19:46,398 # Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon. # 1447 01:19:51,014 --> 01:19:53,811 Hey. How you doin'? 1448 01:19:53,850 --> 01:19:55,511 You're a little early. 1449 01:19:55,551 --> 01:19:58,520 We don't open for about 45 minutes. 1450 01:19:58,555 --> 01:20:00,954 I'm meeting someone here. 1451 01:20:00,990 --> 01:20:05,222 - Mind if I wait at the bar? - No. Come on in. 1452 01:20:07,631 --> 01:20:10,259 It's a beautiful day, huh, Harry? 1453 01:20:10,300 --> 01:20:14,100 Yes yes, I've had a wonderful time so far. Thank you. 1454 01:20:14,136 --> 01:20:17,072 God, it feels so good to get up here. 1455 01:20:17,106 --> 01:20:20,542 I haven't been outside that much in the last couple weeks. 1456 01:20:20,577 --> 01:20:23,011 Oh, yeah? Why not? 1457 01:20:23,046 --> 01:20:26,913 Um, there's been some family problems, 1458 01:20:26,949 --> 01:20:29,918 but I don't want to bore you with those. 1459 01:20:29,953 --> 01:20:31,944 Thanks. 1460 01:20:31,988 --> 01:20:34,422 Oh, look. Frost. 1461 01:20:37,661 --> 01:20:41,289 - Harry? - (GRUNTING) 1462 01:20:43,332 --> 01:20:45,163 - Are you okay? - (MUFFLED) Oh, yeah, 1463 01:20:45,202 --> 01:20:48,399 I do this all the time. 1464 01:20:51,975 --> 01:20:54,273 Let's go to the top this time. 1465 01:21:01,217 --> 01:21:05,176 - Hi, there. - Ugh... 1466 01:21:05,221 --> 01:21:06,951 Say, kids, 1467 01:21:06,989 --> 01:21:08,890 you wouldn't happen to have 1468 01:21:08,925 --> 01:21:11,018 a cup of warm water, would you? 1469 01:21:11,060 --> 01:21:13,689 (SLURPS) Yuck. 1470 01:21:17,434 --> 01:21:19,402 Excuse me. 1471 01:21:19,435 --> 01:21:21,631 Is it 10:00 A.M. Yet? 1472 01:21:22,639 --> 01:21:24,800 It's 1:00. 1473 01:21:27,476 --> 01:21:31,606 That's what I have too. Thought maybe it was fast. 1474 01:21:34,618 --> 01:21:37,314 She's running late, huh? 1475 01:21:37,354 --> 01:21:40,618 Just a couple hours. You know girls. 1476 01:21:40,657 --> 01:21:43,353 When they're excited about something, 1477 01:21:43,393 --> 01:21:45,725 everything has to be perfect. 1478 01:21:53,270 --> 01:21:55,328 This one's on me. 1479 01:21:57,474 --> 01:21:59,465 Yippee. 1480 01:21:59,509 --> 01:22:01,443 Chablis, please. 1481 01:22:02,445 --> 01:22:04,640 Hello. 1482 01:22:06,349 --> 01:22:08,373 (BELCHING) 1483 01:22:10,619 --> 01:22:12,712 Bad day, huh? 1484 01:22:13,722 --> 01:22:16,122 Me too. 1485 01:22:16,158 --> 01:22:18,024 'Course everything's been bad 1486 01:22:18,060 --> 01:22:20,291 since I broke up with my boyfriend. 1487 01:22:33,376 --> 01:22:35,810 (WHISPERS) Oh my God. 1488 01:22:39,048 --> 01:22:41,279 My God! You poor guy. Does it hurt? 1489 01:22:41,318 --> 01:22:44,219 I'm fine. I saved a seat for you. 1490 01:22:44,253 --> 01:22:46,016 (TAPS) 1491 01:22:46,055 --> 01:22:47,751 Oh no, listen. This is silly. Let me help you. 1492 01:22:47,791 --> 01:22:49,690 No no no no no. 1493 01:22:49,725 --> 01:22:52,057 Yes. It'll only hurt for a moment, like a Band-Aid. 1494 01:22:52,095 --> 01:22:54,529 - Come on, ready? - No no no no. No. 1495 01:22:54,564 --> 01:22:56,395 Come on. Go. 1496 01:22:56,432 --> 01:22:58,297 (GRUNTING) 1497 01:22:58,335 --> 01:23:00,326 (CRACKLING) 1498 01:23:23,260 --> 01:23:26,592 # Well, if you want, I'll be by your side # 1499 01:23:26,630 --> 01:23:30,690 # And if you don't, maybe suicide # 1500 01:23:30,734 --> 01:23:34,568 # It's my love that'd kill me, dear # 1501 01:23:34,604 --> 01:23:37,766 # If you won't hold me and have me near # 1502 01:23:37,806 --> 01:23:42,176 # 'Cause I'll be good to you in every way # 1503 01:23:42,212 --> 01:23:45,375 # I'll give you loving, baby, every day # 1504 01:23:45,414 --> 01:23:48,815 # A loving that's good enough, a loving that's all right # 1505 01:23:48,851 --> 01:23:52,082 # I'll love you like an oven on the coldest night # 1506 01:23:52,122 --> 01:23:54,021 # Whoo! # 1507 01:23:57,226 --> 01:23:58,887 (LOUD THUD) 1508 01:24:07,270 --> 01:24:12,002 # 'Cause if you don't love me, I'll kill myself # 1509 01:24:14,844 --> 01:24:18,746 # If you don't love me, I'll kill myself # 1510 01:24:21,518 --> 01:24:25,545 # If you don't love me, I'll kill myself # 1511 01:24:25,588 --> 01:24:27,783 (SCREAMS) 1512 01:24:27,823 --> 01:24:33,126 # If you don't love me, I'll kill myself # 1513 01:24:34,130 --> 01:24:36,359 Come on, come on. 1514 01:24:36,399 --> 01:24:38,628 # If you don't love me. # 1515 01:24:38,667 --> 01:24:43,127 - (CHUCKLES) - Pfft. 1516 01:24:43,172 --> 01:24:45,538 What am... 1517 01:24:45,574 --> 01:24:47,770 (LAUGHING) 1518 01:24:48,912 --> 01:24:50,880 I said to myself, "Run, Beth. 1519 01:24:50,913 --> 01:24:53,677 Run for your life before this man kills you both." 1520 01:24:53,716 --> 01:24:56,378 Then do you know what the klutz did? 1521 01:24:56,418 --> 01:24:59,216 No, and I don't care! 1522 01:24:59,256 --> 01:25:02,122 I'm going to tell you, He came home one night dead drunk 1523 01:25:02,158 --> 01:25:04,216 and decided he wanted to fix the sink. 1524 01:25:04,261 --> 01:25:05,751 Couldn't believe him. 1525 01:25:05,795 --> 01:25:08,229 Anyway, enough about me. Let's talk about you. 1526 01:25:08,265 --> 01:25:10,494 - How come you're here? - Bartender! 1527 01:25:10,533 --> 01:25:12,728 Yeah? 1528 01:25:12,769 --> 01:25:16,636 You wouldn't happen to know a Mary Swanson, would you? 1529 01:25:16,672 --> 01:25:19,506 Mary Swanson? Yeah. 1530 01:25:19,542 --> 01:25:22,305 She comes in here all the time. 1531 01:25:22,345 --> 01:25:24,176 What's that supposed to mean? 1532 01:25:24,213 --> 01:25:25,646 She has dinner. 1533 01:25:25,681 --> 01:25:29,778 Oh. I'm sorry. 1534 01:25:32,188 --> 01:25:33,677 Uh... 1535 01:25:33,722 --> 01:25:37,591 you know where she lives? 1536 01:25:37,627 --> 01:25:41,654 Yeah, her family has the big place up on Alpine Drive. 1537 01:25:41,698 --> 01:25:44,826 Alpine Drive? Big place? 1538 01:25:52,574 --> 01:25:54,907 No way! 1539 01:25:56,512 --> 01:25:58,572 That's great! 1540 01:25:58,614 --> 01:26:00,980 We landed on the moon! 1541 01:26:07,690 --> 01:26:09,681 I've gotta tell you, 1542 01:26:09,725 --> 01:26:12,354 today was just what I needed. Thanks a lot, Harry. 1543 01:26:12,395 --> 01:26:15,193 (SLURRED) Blell, blit blas... 1544 01:26:15,230 --> 01:26:17,721 it was my pleasure, Mary. 1545 01:26:17,766 --> 01:26:20,702 So you'll pick me up tonight at 7:45? 1546 01:26:20,737 --> 01:26:22,568 Well, no, I've got a few things 1547 01:26:22,604 --> 01:26:24,231 to take care of first. 1548 01:26:24,274 --> 01:26:25,935 Why don't we make it quarter to 8:00? 1549 01:26:25,975 --> 01:26:30,240 (LAUGHS) Stop it! 1550 01:26:30,279 --> 01:26:32,873 Okay 7:45. 1551 01:26:34,350 --> 01:26:37,184 (KISSES) Bye. 1552 01:27:21,564 --> 01:27:23,555 Doesn't make any sense, Lloyd. 1553 01:27:23,600 --> 01:27:25,363 She told me 10:00 sharp! 1554 01:27:25,402 --> 01:27:27,734 Are you sure you went to the right bar? 1555 01:27:27,770 --> 01:27:31,639 Oh, yeah. Yep. I'm pretty sure. 1556 01:27:31,673 --> 01:27:34,837 Lobby bar. Right in the lobby. 1557 01:27:34,877 --> 01:27:38,006 Ahh... well... 1558 01:27:38,046 --> 01:27:40,845 maybe she just had a change of heart. 1559 01:27:40,884 --> 01:27:44,319 Oh, that pisses me off! That pisses me right off! 1560 01:27:44,354 --> 01:27:46,345 I hate when women do that, you know? 1561 01:27:46,389 --> 01:27:48,050 She wanted to see you again! 1562 01:27:48,091 --> 01:27:49,956 She told me that! And now no? 1563 01:27:49,993 --> 01:27:52,894 Now... wait a minute! Wait! 1564 01:27:52,929 --> 01:27:55,863 She must have meant 10:00 at night. 1565 01:27:55,899 --> 01:27:58,423 Do you think? 1566 01:27:58,467 --> 01:28:02,461 Why would she have you meet her at a bar at 10:00 in the morning? 1567 01:28:02,505 --> 01:28:04,666 I just figured she was a raging alcoholic. 1568 01:28:04,707 --> 01:28:07,698 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1569 01:28:10,412 --> 01:28:12,676 - Oh, that's th... - And all this time, 1570 01:28:12,715 --> 01:28:16,617 I've been going through such pain and personal anguish. 1571 01:28:16,653 --> 01:28:19,712 Such hell! For nothing! 1572 01:28:19,756 --> 01:28:21,552 Oh, God. That's funny. 1573 01:28:21,591 --> 01:28:23,922 Oh, that's good stuff. Oh, boy. 1574 01:28:23,960 --> 01:28:26,689 Well, listen, looks like you got your night planned, 1575 01:28:26,729 --> 01:28:29,027 so I'm just going to head out and catch a flick. 1576 01:28:29,064 --> 01:28:30,725 Okay. 1577 01:28:32,734 --> 01:28:35,100 10:00 in the morning. 1578 01:28:51,820 --> 01:28:54,448 Hey, Harry, old buddy, old pal! 1579 01:28:54,490 --> 01:28:56,118 Yeah? 1580 01:28:56,158 --> 01:28:59,617 Will you join me in a good-luck toast before you head out? 1581 01:28:59,662 --> 01:29:03,063 Oh, sure thing. Whatever you think will help your chances. 1582 01:29:03,099 --> 01:29:05,465 Yes, sirree. 1583 01:29:05,502 --> 01:29:07,765 You know why I like you, Harry? 1584 01:29:07,804 --> 01:29:10,033 Because you're a regular guy. 1585 01:29:11,474 --> 01:29:14,875 Yep, that's why I want you to stay regular. 1586 01:29:16,011 --> 01:29:20,813 1/2 teaspoon for fast, effective relief. 1587 01:29:24,554 --> 01:29:28,114 (WHISTLING) 1588 01:29:31,961 --> 01:29:34,122 (LAUGHING) 1589 01:29:36,164 --> 01:29:38,564 Mmm! 1590 01:29:38,600 --> 01:29:41,467 ("AULD LANG SYNE" PLAYING) 1591 01:29:41,503 --> 01:29:45,600 To my friend Harry... the matchmaker. 1592 01:29:45,641 --> 01:29:49,100 Oh, get out of here. I'm... I've... 1593 01:29:51,914 --> 01:29:53,849 Mmm. 1594 01:29:53,882 --> 01:29:56,716 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1595 01:29:56,752 --> 01:29:59,220 Mmm. 1596 01:30:08,997 --> 01:30:12,161 (STOMACH RUMBLES) 1597 01:30:13,569 --> 01:30:15,470 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1598 01:30:15,505 --> 01:30:18,269 MARY: Hi, the door's open. Come on upstairs. 1599 01:30:23,546 --> 01:30:24,979 - Hi. - Hi. 1600 01:30:25,014 --> 01:30:26,640 Hi, make yourself at home, okay? 1601 01:30:26,682 --> 01:30:28,149 I'm almost ready. One minute? 1602 01:30:28,184 --> 01:30:30,708 - Okay, sounds good. - Okay. 1603 01:30:41,029 --> 01:30:43,863 (STOMACH VIOLENTLY GURGLING) 1604 01:31:05,622 --> 01:31:08,819 (LOUD SPUTTERING) 1605 01:31:09,826 --> 01:31:12,920 (TRILLS) 1606 01:31:25,908 --> 01:31:28,569 (SPUTTERING CONTINUES) 1607 01:31:28,610 --> 01:31:30,578 (SIGHS) 1608 01:31:30,613 --> 01:31:32,944 (CHUCKLES) 1609 01:31:37,552 --> 01:31:40,453 (PANTING) 1610 01:31:52,668 --> 01:31:54,136 (KNOCKS) 1611 01:31:54,170 --> 01:31:56,934 MARY: Harry, are you in there? 1612 01:31:56,972 --> 01:31:58,963 Be right out! 1613 01:31:59,007 --> 01:32:02,774 I hope you're not using the toilet. It's broken. 1614 01:32:02,811 --> 01:32:05,872 (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS) 1615 01:32:05,914 --> 01:32:09,612 - Huh? - The toilet doesn't flush. 1616 01:32:09,652 --> 01:32:11,846 No, I was just shaving. 1617 01:32:11,887 --> 01:32:14,082 Shaving? 1618 01:32:14,122 --> 01:32:16,648 Yeah, I was running a little late. 1619 01:32:16,693 --> 01:32:19,161 I thought this would save some time. 1620 01:32:21,163 --> 01:32:25,395 Okay well, I'll be in the kitchen whenever you're ready. 1621 01:32:27,970 --> 01:32:30,631 Oh, Jeez! 1622 01:32:30,672 --> 01:32:32,537 - (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) - (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 1623 01:32:32,572 --> 01:32:34,400 - (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) - (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 1624 01:32:45,887 --> 01:32:47,719 Tomorrow on "A Current Affair," 1625 01:32:47,756 --> 01:32:50,317 inside the home of the Menendez brothers' attorney. 1626 01:32:50,359 --> 01:32:52,588 And next, we'll be back in a minute 1627 01:32:52,627 --> 01:32:57,030 with the heartbreaking story of the blind Rhode Island boy 1628 01:32:57,065 --> 01:33:00,001 who was duped into buying a dead parakeet. 1629 01:33:00,036 --> 01:33:03,198 I just thought he was real quiet. 1630 01:33:07,944 --> 01:33:09,672 Who are these sick people? 1631 01:33:09,712 --> 01:33:11,542 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1632 01:33:14,783 --> 01:33:16,842 - Hi! - Hi. 1633 01:33:16,886 --> 01:33:18,944 Yes? 1634 01:33:18,988 --> 01:33:20,682 Remember me? 1635 01:33:21,690 --> 01:33:24,921 Uh... not really. 1636 01:33:24,961 --> 01:33:28,920 Providen... Providence. 1637 01:33:28,965 --> 01:33:30,989 I drove you to the airport last week. 1638 01:33:31,033 --> 01:33:32,898 Oh my God! 1639 01:33:32,935 --> 01:33:35,664 Uh... Lloyd, right? 1640 01:33:35,704 --> 01:33:39,265 You remembered my name. 1641 01:33:39,307 --> 01:33:41,707 What are you doing in Aspen? 1642 01:33:41,743 --> 01:33:43,336 I brought you your briefcase. 1643 01:33:43,378 --> 01:33:47,109 You left it at the airport, you big goof! 1644 01:33:47,149 --> 01:33:49,983 - You have my briefcase? - Yeah. 1645 01:33:50,019 --> 01:33:52,145 Hey, I have it at my hotel room. 1646 01:33:52,188 --> 01:33:54,850 You want to jump on the bike with me? We can go get it 1647 01:33:54,890 --> 01:33:58,349 unless... unless you're busy. 1648 01:33:58,394 --> 01:34:00,328 Oh, no no no! No no! 1649 01:34:00,363 --> 01:34:02,228 - I don't wanna... - You just wait right here. 1650 01:34:02,265 --> 01:34:03,960 - Okay. - Okay? 1651 01:34:08,805 --> 01:34:11,296 Come on, flush, you bastard! 1652 01:34:14,911 --> 01:34:17,243 MARY: Harry, what are you doing in there? 1653 01:34:17,279 --> 01:34:22,649 - I'm just... I'm cleaning my teeth! - (CLATTERING) 1654 01:34:35,965 --> 01:34:37,626 I'm cleaning my teeth. 1655 01:34:39,100 --> 01:34:41,261 I'm gargling. 1656 01:34:41,304 --> 01:34:43,966 Just give me a minute, Mary. I'll be right with you. 1657 01:34:44,006 --> 01:34:46,304 Harry, I'm sorry, but something important's come up, 1658 01:34:46,341 --> 01:34:48,242 and I've got to run out. 1659 01:34:48,277 --> 01:34:51,109 It's-it's sort of an emergency. I'll explain later. 1660 01:34:51,146 --> 01:34:54,775 - But, Mary... - I'm sorry. I've really got to go. 1661 01:34:54,817 --> 01:34:57,149 I promise we'll do this again sometime. 1662 01:35:08,430 --> 01:35:10,762 Race you to the top. 1663 01:35:12,435 --> 01:35:15,426 - Come here. - Agh! 1664 01:35:18,240 --> 01:35:21,768 Yeah! Ha ha! 1665 01:35:22,944 --> 01:35:24,469 I won! 1666 01:35:24,512 --> 01:35:27,277 Look familiar? 1667 01:35:27,315 --> 01:35:29,216 I don't believe it. You really have it. 1668 01:35:29,252 --> 01:35:31,048 Of course, I have it. 1669 01:35:31,087 --> 01:35:33,350 When Lloyd Christmas drives a woman to the airport, 1670 01:35:33,389 --> 01:35:35,152 he makes sure she gets all her luggage. 1671 01:35:35,190 --> 01:35:38,216 - That's my whole philosophy. - This is incredible. 1672 01:35:38,261 --> 01:35:41,024 You mean to say you drove 2,000 miles 1673 01:35:41,063 --> 01:35:43,497 just for me? 1674 01:35:43,532 --> 01:35:48,595 Uh... I didn't really have a lot to do. 1675 01:35:50,006 --> 01:35:51,871 And I know how frustrating it can be 1676 01:35:51,908 --> 01:35:54,001 to lose a bag. 1677 01:35:54,042 --> 01:35:57,206 That is so sweet, Lloyd. 1678 01:35:57,246 --> 01:35:59,510 (KISSES) 1679 01:35:59,547 --> 01:36:03,074 (ROMANTIC POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1680 01:36:11,594 --> 01:36:14,893 Look, Mary, I know this may seem a little sudden, 1681 01:36:14,930 --> 01:36:17,024 but I've given it a lot of thought. 1682 01:36:17,065 --> 01:36:20,194 You're the woman I've been waiting for my whole life, 1683 01:36:20,235 --> 01:36:21,998 and I'm not ashamed to admit it. 1684 01:36:22,037 --> 01:36:26,167 Please... Let me finish. 1685 01:36:26,207 --> 01:36:29,506 I'm crazy about you. 1686 01:36:29,545 --> 01:36:32,412 I've never felt this way about anybody. 1687 01:36:32,448 --> 01:36:35,177 Listen to me. 1688 01:36:35,216 --> 01:36:38,208 I feel like a schoolboy again, 1689 01:36:38,253 --> 01:36:41,018 a schoolboy who desperately wants 1690 01:36:41,056 --> 01:36:43,787 to make sweet sweet love to you. 1691 01:36:53,202 --> 01:36:56,831 Oh, I thought I heard you talking to someone. 1692 01:36:59,041 --> 01:37:02,841 Mary, I- I... 1693 01:37:07,949 --> 01:37:11,350 I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy. 1694 01:37:12,587 --> 01:37:15,421 - Maybe I should be going. - No no... 1695 01:37:15,457 --> 01:37:17,323 (STUTTERS) 1696 01:37:17,359 --> 01:37:20,328 No, I... that's not what I meant. 1697 01:37:23,332 --> 01:37:28,234 Um... what I meant was, um... 1698 01:37:30,372 --> 01:37:32,273 God. 1699 01:37:32,307 --> 01:37:35,300 I-I like you, Mary. 1700 01:37:37,680 --> 01:37:41,309 I like you a lot. 1701 01:37:42,618 --> 01:37:47,247 I want to ask you a question straight out, flat out, 1702 01:37:47,288 --> 01:37:49,621 and I want you to give me an honest answer. 1703 01:37:49,658 --> 01:37:52,091 What do you think the chances are 1704 01:37:52,127 --> 01:37:56,189 of a guy like you and a girl like me... 1705 01:37:57,632 --> 01:37:59,930 ending up together? 1706 01:37:59,969 --> 01:38:02,301 Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. 1707 01:38:02,337 --> 01:38:05,033 We really don't... 1708 01:38:05,106 --> 01:38:07,667 Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! 1709 01:38:07,710 --> 01:38:09,939 I came a long way just to see you, Mary. 1710 01:38:09,979 --> 01:38:12,503 Just... the least you can do is level with me. 1711 01:38:12,547 --> 01:38:14,948 What are my chances? 1712 01:38:14,984 --> 01:38:17,509 Not good. 1713 01:38:21,489 --> 01:38:25,984 You mean not good, like one out of 100? 1714 01:38:26,028 --> 01:38:30,396 I'd say more like one out of a million. 1715 01:38:35,703 --> 01:38:39,572 So you're telling me there's a chance! 1716 01:38:41,710 --> 01:38:43,802 Yeah! 1717 01:38:45,413 --> 01:38:47,381 I read you. 1718 01:38:47,416 --> 01:38:49,440 (KNOCKS) 1719 01:38:54,422 --> 01:38:57,391 Hi. We have plenty of towels. Thanks. 1720 01:38:57,426 --> 01:39:00,259 Nicholas! What are you doing here? 1721 01:39:00,296 --> 01:39:01,990 I've been looking for you, Mary. 1722 01:39:02,030 --> 01:39:04,021 I have some news about your husband. 1723 01:39:05,266 --> 01:39:08,634 Husband?! Wait a minute! 1724 01:39:10,238 --> 01:39:14,005 What was all that one-in-a-million talk? 1725 01:39:14,042 --> 01:39:16,841 Aren't you going to invite me in? 1726 01:39:21,817 --> 01:39:25,514 BETH: Hey, Harry, you never called! 1727 01:39:25,554 --> 01:39:27,488 What are you doing here? 1728 01:39:31,493 --> 01:39:34,587 Excuse me, gunman, who are you? 1729 01:39:34,630 --> 01:39:36,654 Don't play dumb with me, asshole! 1730 01:39:36,698 --> 01:39:39,565 I'm the rightful owner of that briefcase you've been carrying around! 1731 01:39:39,601 --> 01:39:41,729 Oh. Well, then... 1732 01:39:41,770 --> 01:39:45,796 Nicholas, my family trusted you. 1733 01:39:45,841 --> 01:39:48,036 Shut up! 1734 01:39:48,077 --> 01:39:52,069 Listen, Mr. Samsonite, about the briefcase... 1735 01:39:52,113 --> 01:39:54,139 my friend Harry and I have every intention 1736 01:39:54,182 --> 01:39:56,743 - of fully reimbursing you. - What? 1737 01:39:56,784 --> 01:40:00,311 You open it up. Open it up! 1738 01:40:00,355 --> 01:40:03,189 Go ahead, open it up. Do what he says. 1739 01:40:03,225 --> 01:40:04,988 Hurry. 1740 01:40:09,864 --> 01:40:12,355 What is this? What is this? 1741 01:40:12,400 --> 01:40:14,095 Where's all the money? 1742 01:40:14,136 --> 01:40:17,070 That's as good as money, sir. 1743 01:40:17,105 --> 01:40:19,596 Those are IOUs. Go ahead and add it up. 1744 01:40:19,641 --> 01:40:21,576 Every cent's accounted for. 1745 01:40:21,609 --> 01:40:24,545 Look. See this? 1746 01:40:24,579 --> 01:40:26,844 That's a car. 275 thou. 1747 01:40:26,881 --> 01:40:29,042 Might want to hang on to that one. 1748 01:40:32,854 --> 01:40:35,881 You're a dead man. You're a dead man! 1749 01:40:40,863 --> 01:40:43,797 Lloyd, I'm home! 1750 01:40:43,832 --> 01:40:47,131 Look, we've got to have a serious talk. 1751 01:40:47,168 --> 01:40:48,693 I got a confession to make. 1752 01:40:48,737 --> 01:40:50,568 Oh, good. You found her. 1753 01:40:50,605 --> 01:40:52,163 I'll leave you two alone. 1754 01:40:52,207 --> 01:40:54,403 No. Stay. 1755 01:40:55,411 --> 01:40:57,378 Ugh! 1756 01:41:00,849 --> 01:41:03,841 Yes, I'd like a one-way ticket to Amsterdam 1757 01:41:03,886 --> 01:41:06,582 departing as soon as possible, please. 1758 01:41:06,622 --> 01:41:09,216 How do you guys know each other? 1759 01:41:09,257 --> 01:41:11,192 We used to be best friends. 1760 01:41:11,226 --> 01:41:13,194 Yeah, until he turned into a backstabber. 1761 01:41:13,229 --> 01:41:16,255 Me a backstabber? You got a lot of nerve. 1762 01:41:16,297 --> 01:41:18,128 You knew I was crazy about her! 1763 01:41:18,167 --> 01:41:20,465 And you knew I was crazy about Fraida Felcher, 1764 01:41:20,502 --> 01:41:23,903 - and that didn't stop you, did it? - (GASPS) 1765 01:41:23,939 --> 01:41:26,237 - What do you mean? - (MIMICS) What do you mean? 1766 01:41:26,274 --> 01:41:28,175 Don't deny it, Lloyd. 1767 01:41:28,210 --> 01:41:31,475 Fraida told me the whole sleazy story, Mr. French Tickler. 1768 01:41:34,350 --> 01:41:36,875 Okay, what time does it... what time does that leave? 1769 01:41:36,918 --> 01:41:38,886 Thank you... wait a second. 1770 01:41:38,921 --> 01:41:40,854 Can I have a vegetarian meal? 1771 01:41:40,889 --> 01:41:43,288 I guess we both learned a little something 1772 01:41:43,324 --> 01:41:45,792 - about each other today, didn't we? - Yeah, you said it, pal. 1773 01:41:45,828 --> 01:41:47,488 Maybe we're not as good of friends as we thought we were. 1774 01:41:47,529 --> 01:41:48,461 I guess not. 1775 01:41:48,497 --> 01:41:51,363 I mean, if one beautiful girl can rip us apart like this, 1776 01:41:51,399 --> 01:41:53,390 then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn. 1777 01:41:53,435 --> 01:41:54,868 Maybe we should call it quits right now. 1778 01:41:54,903 --> 01:41:56,871 You just tell me where to sign, bud. 1779 01:41:56,904 --> 01:41:58,895 Right on my ass after you kiss it! 1780 01:41:58,940 --> 01:42:00,533 Kiss it?! You kiss mine! 1781 01:42:00,576 --> 01:42:02,737 Both cheeks, both lips, right here! 1782 01:42:02,778 --> 01:42:06,737 - Put it right... - Shut up! 1783 01:42:08,751 --> 01:42:11,480 Now, which one of you losers wants to get it first? 1784 01:42:12,954 --> 01:42:15,515 Over here... 1785 01:42:15,556 --> 01:42:17,957 I was the one that got you into this whole mess. 1786 01:42:17,993 --> 01:42:20,291 Come on and shoot me. 1787 01:42:20,328 --> 01:42:23,354 No! Wait! Wait. No no, do me first. 1788 01:42:23,399 --> 01:42:25,492 I stole your girl, Lloyd. I deserve it. 1789 01:42:25,533 --> 01:42:26,966 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. 1790 01:42:27,002 --> 01:42:29,197 - No, you don't... - Yes, I do! 1791 01:42:29,238 --> 01:42:31,604 Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. 1792 01:42:31,640 --> 01:42:35,770 Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg. 1793 01:42:35,810 --> 01:42:38,176 Okay, kill him! 1794 01:42:44,653 --> 01:42:47,052 (SOBBING) Oh! Oh, no! 1795 01:42:48,524 --> 01:42:51,788 You killed my best friend, you bastard! 1796 01:42:51,827 --> 01:42:53,453 If it's any consolation, 1797 01:42:53,494 --> 01:42:55,655 you're about to be reunited. 1798 01:42:59,801 --> 01:43:01,735 (GUN CLICKING) 1799 01:43:01,770 --> 01:43:05,671 Harry! You're alive! 1800 01:43:05,707 --> 01:43:08,404 And you're a horrible shot. 1801 01:43:08,444 --> 01:43:10,502 Lucky me. 1802 01:43:10,546 --> 01:43:13,014 Police! Open up! Nobody move! 1803 01:43:13,047 --> 01:43:16,414 Everybody freeze! Get those hands up! 1804 01:43:16,452 --> 01:43:17,942 Not you, dummy! 1805 01:43:17,985 --> 01:43:19,543 Man: Get the gun. 1806 01:43:19,587 --> 01:43:22,283 Special Officer Beth Jordan, FBI. 1807 01:43:22,323 --> 01:43:23,881 Hey! Who? But... huh? 1808 01:43:23,926 --> 01:43:25,859 Mr. Dunne, thank you very much. 1809 01:43:25,894 --> 01:43:28,863 We couldn't have done it without you. 1810 01:43:28,896 --> 01:43:30,421 We've been following you guys 1811 01:43:30,466 --> 01:43:31,796 all the way from Providence. 1812 01:43:31,833 --> 01:43:33,631 What's going on, Harry? 1813 01:43:33,668 --> 01:43:36,967 Your name is Harry, isn't it? 1814 01:43:37,005 --> 01:43:40,532 Yeah, she-she grabbed me down the lobby, explained what was up. 1815 01:43:40,576 --> 01:43:42,668 Then they slapped this bulletproof vest on me 1816 01:43:42,711 --> 01:43:44,837 and gave me a gun. 1817 01:43:46,614 --> 01:43:48,980 But what if he shot you in the face? 1818 01:43:50,051 --> 01:43:52,452 What if he shot me in the face? 1819 01:43:52,488 --> 01:43:54,786 That's a risk we were willing to take. 1820 01:43:54,823 --> 01:43:56,688 How come I didn't get a gun? 1821 01:43:56,725 --> 01:43:58,988 Did you get a gun? 1822 01:43:59,027 --> 01:44:03,657 # We can't play this game anymore # 1823 01:44:03,698 --> 01:44:08,328 # But can we still be friends? # 1824 01:44:09,971 --> 01:44:14,738 # Things just can't go on like before # 1825 01:44:14,777 --> 01:44:19,440 # But can we still be friends? # 1826 01:44:19,480 --> 01:44:24,942 # We had something to learn # 1827 01:44:24,987 --> 01:44:26,954 # Now it's time... # 1828 01:44:26,988 --> 01:44:28,889 You were right, Lloyd. 1829 01:44:28,923 --> 01:44:30,983 She was definitely worth the trip. 1830 01:44:31,025 --> 01:44:35,554 Yeah. She's something, ain't she, Harr? 1831 01:44:35,596 --> 01:44:37,462 I'm glad we were able to help her out. 1832 01:44:37,498 --> 01:44:43,368 # You know it's all gone # 1833 01:44:43,404 --> 01:44:47,341 # Let's admit we made a mistake... # 1834 01:44:47,376 --> 01:44:49,104 - Honey! - Easy easy. 1835 01:44:49,144 --> 01:44:51,510 - You're okay. - Okay, I'm just a little sore. 1836 01:44:51,546 --> 01:44:54,413 I'm sorry. Oh, sweetie. 1837 01:44:54,449 --> 01:44:56,713 Oh, baby, I missed your loving. 1838 01:44:56,752 --> 01:44:59,015 Honey, there's someone I want to introduce you to. 1839 01:44:59,054 --> 01:45:01,488 He's the kindest, gentlest man I've ever met. 1840 01:45:01,523 --> 01:45:03,354 - Will you meet him? - Sure. 1841 01:45:03,391 --> 01:45:05,757 He's got a gun! 1842 01:45:08,463 --> 01:45:11,364 Mary: Lloyd? Lloyd! 1843 01:45:11,399 --> 01:45:13,368 Huh? 1844 01:45:13,402 --> 01:45:16,496 I said this is my husband Bobby. 1845 01:45:16,537 --> 01:45:19,529 - Oh. Hi, Bobby. - Hi. 1846 01:45:19,574 --> 01:45:24,069 - I'm so happy for you. - Thank you. 1847 01:45:24,112 --> 01:45:26,944 Thank you both very much. 1848 01:45:26,981 --> 01:45:30,577 I owe you both a debt of gratitude. 1849 01:45:30,618 --> 01:45:32,381 Thank you. 1850 01:45:51,472 --> 01:45:53,940 I can't believe this, Lloyd. 1851 01:45:53,975 --> 01:45:55,876 First Mary dumps us, 1852 01:45:55,911 --> 01:45:57,845 then the cops take our nest egg. 1853 01:45:57,880 --> 01:45:59,972 - Then our hog breaks down. - Yeah! 1854 01:46:00,015 --> 01:46:03,143 When are we ever gonna catch a break? 1855 01:46:04,953 --> 01:46:07,478 # Hallelujah # 1856 01:46:07,523 --> 01:46:09,615 # Hallelujah # 1857 01:46:09,658 --> 01:46:11,956 # Hallelujah hallelujah # 1858 01:46:11,993 --> 01:46:14,257 # Hallelujah. # 1859 01:46:16,698 --> 01:46:20,634 - Hi, y'all. - (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1860 01:46:20,668 --> 01:46:22,829 Hi, guys! We're going on a national bikini tour, 1861 01:46:22,871 --> 01:46:24,600 and we're looking for two oil boys 1862 01:46:24,640 --> 01:46:27,006 who can grease us up before each competition. 1863 01:46:31,212 --> 01:46:33,738 You are in luck! 1864 01:46:33,782 --> 01:46:37,046 There's a town about three miles that way. 1865 01:46:37,085 --> 01:46:39,349 I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there. 1866 01:46:42,090 --> 01:46:44,614 Okay. Thanks. 1867 01:46:44,659 --> 01:46:46,752 Bye! 1868 01:46:53,868 --> 01:46:56,497 Do you realize what you've done? 1869 01:46:56,537 --> 01:47:00,167 - Hey! - Lloyd! 1870 01:47:00,207 --> 01:47:02,869 Lloyd! 1871 01:47:10,586 --> 01:47:12,884 You'll have to excuse my friend. 1872 01:47:12,921 --> 01:47:15,890 He's a little slow. 1873 01:47:15,923 --> 01:47:19,018 The town is back that way. 1874 01:47:28,670 --> 01:47:30,194 Wow. 1875 01:47:30,238 --> 01:47:32,137 Two lucky guys 1876 01:47:32,173 --> 01:47:34,266 are gonna be driving around with those girls 1877 01:47:34,309 --> 01:47:36,173 for the next couple of months. 1878 01:47:36,211 --> 01:47:38,872 Yeah, don't worry. 1879 01:47:38,913 --> 01:47:40,744 We'll catch our break too. 1880 01:47:40,782 --> 01:47:44,274 - Just gotta keep our eyes open. - Yeah. 1881 01:47:44,319 --> 01:47:45,752 # Now, we've been friends forever... # 1882 01:47:45,787 --> 01:47:47,185 # Now, we've been friends forever... # 1883 01:47:47,221 --> 01:47:49,917 - You're it. - You're it. 1884 01:47:49,957 --> 01:47:51,686 You're it. Quitsies. 1885 01:47:51,726 --> 01:47:53,694 You're it. Anti-quitsies, double-stamp. 1886 01:47:53,729 --> 01:47:56,253 You're it. Anti-quitsies, triple-stamp. 1887 01:47:56,297 --> 01:47:58,288 - No erasies, none at all. - You can't triple-stamp. 1888 01:47:58,332 --> 01:48:00,563 Yes, if you have a double-stamp, of course you can. 1889 01:48:00,601 --> 01:48:02,159 - You can't triple-stamp! - # La la la la la... # 1890 01:48:02,203 --> 01:48:04,171 You can't if you have a double-stamp! 1891 01:48:04,206 --> 01:48:05,969 You can't triple-stamp... the rule! 1892 01:48:06,007 --> 01:48:09,966 You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp, Lloyd! 1893 01:48:10,011 --> 01:48:12,845 Lloyd! Lloyd! 1894 01:48:14,082 --> 01:48:17,984 # And now we're rolling down the hill # 1895 01:48:19,887 --> 01:48:22,152 # Down the hill. # 1896 01:48:24,960 --> 01:48:28,622 # Here you go, way too fast # 1897 01:48:28,663 --> 01:48:30,996 # Don't slow down, you're gonna crash # 1898 01:48:31,033 --> 01:48:34,127 # You should watch, watch your step # 1899 01:48:34,168 --> 01:48:36,694 # Don't look out, gonna break your neck # 1900 01:48:36,738 --> 01:48:39,865 # So shut, shut your mouth # 1901 01:48:39,908 --> 01:48:42,274 # 'Cause I'm not listenin' anyhow # 1902 01:48:42,310 --> 01:48:45,336 # I had enough, enough of you # 1903 01:48:45,380 --> 01:48:48,076 # Enough to last a lifetime through # 1904 01:48:48,115 --> 01:48:51,108 # So what do you want of me? # 1905 01:48:51,153 --> 01:48:53,951 # Got no words of sympathy # 1906 01:48:53,988 --> 01:48:56,650 # And if I go around with you # 1907 01:48:56,692 --> 01:49:00,627 # You know that I'll get messed up too with you # 1908 01:49:05,399 --> 01:49:09,564 # Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na # 1909 01:49:11,038 --> 01:49:15,771 # Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na # 1910 01:49:15,810 --> 01:49:19,337 # Here you go, way too fast # 1911 01:49:19,381 --> 01:49:21,905 # Don't slow down, you're gonna crash # 1912 01:49:21,949 --> 01:49:24,885 # You don't know what's been going down # 1913 01:49:24,920 --> 01:49:27,387 # You've been runnin' all over town # 1914 01:49:27,421 --> 01:49:30,618 # So shut, shut your mouth # 1915 01:49:30,658 --> 01:49:33,059 # 'Cause I'm not listening anyhow # 1916 01:49:33,095 --> 01:49:36,189 # I've had enough, enough of you # 1917 01:49:36,230 --> 01:49:38,961 # Enough to last a lifetime through # 1918 01:49:39,000 --> 01:49:42,025 # So what do you want of me? 1919 01:49:42,069 --> 01:49:44,800 # Got no cure for misery # 1920 01:49:44,840 --> 01:49:47,399 # And if I go around with you # 1921 01:49:47,442 --> 01:49:50,137 # You know that I'll get messed up too # 1922 01:49:50,177 --> 01:49:52,975 # With you # 1923 01:49:53,014 --> 01:49:56,108 # With you # 1924 01:49:56,150 --> 01:49:59,416 # Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na # 1925 01:49:59,453 --> 01:50:01,752 - # Slow down # - # You're gonna crash # 1926 01:50:01,789 --> 01:50:05,122 # Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na # 1927 01:50:05,159 --> 01:50:07,525 - # Slow down # - # You're gonna crash # 1928 01:50:24,145 --> 01:50:27,137 # With you # 1929 01:50:27,181 --> 01:50:29,810 # With you # 1930 01:50:29,850 --> 01:50:33,309 # Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na # 1931 01:50:33,354 --> 01:50:35,686 - # Slow down # - # You're gonna crash # 1932 01:50:35,724 --> 01:50:38,988 # Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na # 1933 01:50:39,027 --> 01:50:41,256 - # Slow down # - # You're gonna crash # 1934 01:50:41,296 --> 01:50:44,697 # Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na # 1935 01:50:44,733 --> 01:50:47,327 - # Slow down # - # You're gonna crash. # 1936 01:51:10,859 --> 01:51:14,761 # Well, if you want, I'll be by your side # 1937 01:51:14,796 --> 01:51:18,731 # And if you don't, maybe suicide # 1938 01:51:18,766 --> 01:51:22,203 # It's my love that'd kill me, dear # 1939 01:51:22,237 --> 01:51:25,934 # If you won't hold me and have me near # 1940 01:51:25,974 --> 01:51:29,501 # Because I'll be good to you in every way # 1941 01:51:29,543 --> 01:51:33,310 # I'll give you lovin', baby, every day # 1942 01:51:33,347 --> 01:51:36,943 # A lovin' that's good, a lovin' that's all right # 1943 01:51:36,984 --> 01:51:40,078 # A lovin' like an oven on the coldest night # 1944 01:51:40,121 --> 01:51:42,315 # Whoo! # 1945 01:51:54,903 --> 01:51:59,203 # 'Cause if you don't love me, I'll kill myself # 1946 01:52:02,277 --> 01:52:06,680 # Yeah, if you don't love me, I'll kill myself # 1947 01:52:09,484 --> 01:52:13,511 # If you don't love me, I'll kill myself # 1948 01:52:16,824 --> 01:52:21,158 # If you don't love me, I'll kill myself. # 148258