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1
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:12,512
[Molly] What was his name?
Was it Bradley? No.
2
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:17,350
Paul? T.J.? No, nobody's name is T.J.
3
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,518
[moans, echoing]
4
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,772
We were in our 20s and it was like
he couldn't stop going down on me.
5
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,482
Maybe he was hungry.
6
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,152
Stop. Stop thinking about that. Stop it.
7
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,946
Be here with Steve. What did he just say?
8
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,157
I guess I'm a feminist?
9
00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,200
I'm the only male journalist
at the magazine
10
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,910
that the female editors want to work with.
11
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:40,205
I mean, it-it's fucked.
Journalists can be monsters.
12
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:43,333
Overworked, underpaid,
the burden of knowing too much.
13
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:46,879
- I'm sorry, I think we got off topic.
- No, it connects. I'm trying to make a...
14
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,963
[sighs]
15
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,633
All right. I get... I'm confused,
like, when I get interrupted.
16
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:55,721
Anyway, so yeah, I just think there's
a little bit of a double standard here.
17
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,098
Molly and I haven't had
an active sex life in years.
18
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:01,185
Since Molly's breast cancer diagnosis?
19
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:04,980
Yeah. I mean, we weren't having much se...
much sex when you got cancer, so...
20
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,941
[Molly] Because you said my bald head
made you think about your dad.
21
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:09,026
[Steve speaking, muffled]
22
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,905
But you don't have to
take care of me now. I'm healthy.
23
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,698
I just want you to want me.
24
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,241
Please. Please.
25
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:19,870
And it's like, now she wants to again,
and I'm the bad guy
26
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:23,541
'cause I just can't flip a switch
and suddenly be Mr. Sex?
27
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:27,754
What?
28
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,090
[chuckles] Mr. Sex?
29
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:35,094
Uh, Mr. Sex probably doesn't refer
to himself as Mr. Sex
30
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,762
if he's actually Mr. Sex.
31
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,097
[chuckles]
32
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,891
Anyways... [sighs]
33
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:45,730
Look, I know my wife. She's had
a really complicated history with sex.
34
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:51,401
And I don't think... I don't think
this is actually what you want.
35
00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:55,532
I think there's some confusion here
as to what you want.
36
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,283
[therapist] Molly, do you feel confused
about what you want?
37
00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,954
- You wanna have sex with Steve?
- To have sex, yes.
38
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,247
[Molly] Shit.
39
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,456
With Steve.
40
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,667
But this isn't an authentic desire.
41
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,335
- It's the medication.
- Tamoxifen.
42
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,587
Yeah, the drug that
prevents the cancer from returning.
43
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:14,341
A side effect is decreased libido,
but Molly's body is, like, an anomaly
44
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,760
- and it increased hers.
- That's not a side effect.
45
00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:19,096
Okay, but it is.
Dr. Pankowitz said it's the meds.
46
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,889
Dr. Pankowitz is your doctor, Steve?
47
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,224
- Molly's.
- Mine.
48
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,977
[phone rings]
49
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,482
I put my phone in the technology tray,
like we're supposed to.
50
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,317
- You can just turn it off.
- Sorry, it's the hospital.
51
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,819
I just, um...
52
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,405
It's that hip thing I had checked...
It's, uh... I'm gonna take this.
53
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:39,116
You can just put him on speaker.
Molly, put him on speaker.
54
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,951
- Hello?
- Can you put him on speaker?
55
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,870
- [doctor] Molly, is this a good time?
- Uh, yes.
56
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:46,623
Okay. I have the results
of the biopsy on your hip
57
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,626
and, um, unfortunately...
58
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:53,505
- [Molly] Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
- [horns honking]
59
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,340
[pedestrian]
Watch where you're fucking going!
60
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:56,968
[siren wailing]
61
00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,013
- [panting, moaning]
- [kisses]
62
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,765
[bell rings]
63
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,519
[♪ pop song plays on speakers]
64
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:14,152
[rapid panting, moaning]
65
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,070
{\an8}[Molly] Fuck.
66
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,415
- [siren wailing in distance]
- [pedestrians chattering]
67
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,085
[vehicle approaching]
68
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,838
- [engine rumbles]
- [lighter clicking]
69
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:39,009
- Hey, baby. You need a ride somewhere?
- Hi.
70
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,345
[Molly] Is this what it feels like
to push someone off a cliff?
71
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,679
I'm sorry, were you busy?
72
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,307
Uh, I'm on my way to rehearsal.
73
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,101
Are you smoking cigarettes?
What is that, menthols?
74
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:51,314
Oh, my God. Who are you?
Are you my camp boyfriend?
75
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,233
What is this?
76
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:59,238
You know how I had
that pain in my hip that wouldn't go away?
77
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,197
Uh-huh.
78
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:01,282
It's cancer.
79
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,661
[sighing] It's back.
80
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:12,669
But you...
81
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,256
- It's been two years.
- I know.
82
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,882
And you did everything
that the doctor said,
83
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:20,760
- and you took all of their drugs...
- I know.
84
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,845
- ...and this is still... Hmm.
- It's not fair.
85
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:26,139
I don't want to die just when
I'm getting used to my new boobs.
86
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,809
Stop. You're not gonna die.
87
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,898
I am, actually.
It, um, metastasized to my bones.
88
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,567
- Mmm.
- It's incurable.
89
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:39,153
[birds chirping]
90
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,574
[sobbing] Can you just give me one second?
I'm so, so sorry.
91
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,368
- Hey.
- [sobs] I'm sorry, I'm...
92
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,328
Babe, it's okay. It's okay.
93
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:51,416
No, I feel like it's just gonna
get a little bit bigger. Just let me...
94
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,376
[retches, cries]
95
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,588
I... Just kidding. I'm fine! [chuckles]
96
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,300
- Y-You are?
- No.
97
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,802
- Oh, my God! What the fuck?
- Sorry. I don't know why I said that.
98
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,054
- What the fuck?
- I'm not doing a very good job with this.
99
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,348
- What are you doing? What is it?
- I don't know how to do this!
100
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,267
I don't know how to tell you
that I'm going to die!
101
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,352
Yeah, you're bad at this!
This is a bad way to tell me!
102
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:14,062
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
103
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,440
- [crying] Oh, God.
- [sighs]
104
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,066
You look so nice.
105
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:21,653
Like, if you're dying, like, why are you
fucking weirdly vibing right now?
106
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,280
- Like, glowing from within right now.
- [chuckles]
107
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,741
- Is this your natural inner radiance?
- [chuckling] I don't know.
108
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,827
- I'm so fucking confused, overstimulated.
- What is this? Is she drunk?
109
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,330
- No. No. I just told her that I'm dying.
- What? No, I'm not drunk.
110
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,458
- I'm human having human emotions.
- Why is her crying so loud?
111
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,710
[strained] This is how I cry!
112
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,671
She's an actress. Her emotions
live very close to the surface.
113
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,381
Huh? Leave!
114
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:43,175
- Go!
- No, I won't do that.
115
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,968
My friend is a paying customer!
116
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,887
She bought this fucking weird
fucking soda from you.
117
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,931
- Yeah, I did. Good Value Diet Soda.
- Okay, that's nice.
118
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,391
But that doesn't give you the right
119
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,727
to stand outside my store
and scream like a lunatic!
120
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,563
Don't come out here and tell
two people in a private conversation...
121
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,231
- [both yelling, muffled]
- [Molly] Look at her.
122
00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,692
- No. She's nice. You're not so nice.
- Do not fucking talk about her!
123
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:05,447
[Molly] Not afraid. Everything out
in the open. I love this woman.
124
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,075
- [♪ whimsical music playing]
- [mouthing] Oh, my God.
125
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,786
[no audible dialogue]
126
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:20,253
I'm having a normal reaction,
127
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:23,632
and a deep experience that I don't even
wanna fucking be having!
128
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,469
- So go inside!
- The hell is... What the...
129
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,514
- Fine.
- Mm-hmm.
130
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,099
- Stay.
- Cool.
131
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,059
Just shut the fuck up! Please!
132
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,644
- [music fades out]
- [sniffles]
133
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,563
[door opens, closes]
134
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,777
- He said we can stay.
- Yeah. No, I heard.
135
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:47,323
You have to try this soda.
The aftertaste is unbelievably bad.
136
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,454
- Oh, it's junk.
- I know. I can't stop drinking it.
137
00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:55,832
It's very bad.
138
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,418
When did you find out?
139
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,293
Twenty minutes ago.
140
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,754
- What?
- In the middle of couples therapy.
141
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:05,048
- [doctor] Molly, is this a good time?
- Uh, yes.
142
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:08,760
Okay. I have the results
of the biopsy on your hip
143
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:12,431
and, um, unfortunately it is not
what we had hoped for... [distorts]
144
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:16,476
[Molly] It didn't feel real. I couldn't
even hear what the doctor was saying.
145
00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:20,773
I didn't feel sad, I just saw myself
as a seven-year-old, dancing.
146
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,985
And this seven-year-old version of myself
was being so mean to me.
147
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,611
[♪ classical music plays, muffled]
148
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,114
She was really a jerk.
149
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,116
[grunts, distorted]
150
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:31,617
She knew.
151
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,162
She knew what I'd done with my life
and was mad about it.
152
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:38,165
She knew that Steve didn't touch me
anymore, and she got so sad.
153
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,792
Because I think that she could see
that I've spent my whole life
154
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,210
being scared of what I feel.
155
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,714
And I was so fucking pissed at her
at this point.
156
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,466
And also, she's a terrible dancer.
157
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,343
[music fades out]
158
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,263
I got off the phone and I told Steve,
159
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:57,310
and he gave me
this look of, like, pity, or...
160
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,854
I don't know. It wasn't pity, it was like...
161
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,148
I'll call the hospital.
162
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:04,733
We're gonna get through this.
163
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,817
[Molly] Excitement.
164
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,653
Oh, fucking Steve!
I wanna shove him into a bush.
165
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:11,281
If I'm sick,
then everything is so simple between us.
166
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,365
Yeah.
167
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:15,827
He's the caretaker and the martyr,
and I'm his patient.
168
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,245
- Mm-hmm.
- And that means he won't touch me.
169
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,706
Oh, my God. Can he not see you?
170
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,334
If he doesn't wanna touch you,
then, like, he's not well.
171
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:26,671
But I... Like, I support your marriage.
Obviously, I support your marriage.
172
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,423
So I'm standing there,
and I'm looking at him,
173
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,424
- and then all of a sudden...
- Uh-huh.
174
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:33,929
...I get this flash of a memory
of this guy who went down on me in my 20s.
175
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,805
I did not think you were gonna say that.
176
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:41,061
I mean, his head is in my hands. So vivid.
I can feel his hair in my fingers.
177
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,313
- [friend] Oh, yes.
- [Molly] I mean, someone walked in on us.
178
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:46,149
I never even finished,
but it was the best I've ever felt.
179
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,194
- Yes.
- [Molly] And I just kept thinking,
180
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:51,029
I don't wanna die without
ever feeling that way again.
181
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,866
And then I run across the street
to this bodega.
182
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,954
To this bodega?
Like, you ran from therapy to here? Like...
183
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:01,498
Yeah. It's right there.
Oh, look. That's Dr. Anne.
184
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,833
- Oh, my God. What is she saying?
- [Molly] I don't know.
185
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:07,630
- "Are you okay?" Are you okay?
- No, I'm very bad.
186
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,883
Wait. Oh, my God.
She's getting Steve. Shoot. Hide me.
187
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,051
- What?
- Hide me. [stammers]
188
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,345
Oh, um... Hold on. Uh...
189
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,138
I don't think
this is gonna give you what want.
190
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,349
Oh, no. Oh, oh...
I mean, make another choice.
191
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,685
- We have Steve. Steve's on the move.
- Okay. All right. Let's go.
192
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,728
Where are we going? Just leave it.
193
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,689
- [Steve] Don't leave!
- Here. Go, go, go. I got you.
194
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,856
[Molly] Thank God he doesn't jaywalk.
195
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:28,358
[friend] Oh, my gosh. Okay. Are you good?
196
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,110
[Molly] Why am I so much bigger
than I thought I was?
197
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,404
[Steve] Wait, wait, wait.
Just let me talk to you for a second.
198
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,822
- [Molly] Drive! Nikki, please drive.
- All right.
199
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,865
- He's getting closer. I can feel it.
- [Steve] Nikki, no! Nikki, no!
200
00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:38,160
- I don't have a fucking push start thing.
- [Molly] Oh, my God!
201
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,873
- Like, I'll deal with it in a second.
- [Molly] Go up, twist, or...
202
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:47,502
It just sticks.
Also, one other thing, just super quick...
203
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,379
- Hey, hey, hey. Hi.
- Oh, my God.
204
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,923
[both chuckle, kiss]
205
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:52,966
Hold on just a sec.
206
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,177
- Just don't tongue me down right now.
- Mmm. What? Oh.
207
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,013
- I mean...
- Hi. Hi, Molly.
208
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:58,930
- Hi.
- Hi.
209
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,932
Sorry. Didn't see you there. [chuckles]
210
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,393
[chuckling] Did Nikki
tell you that she moved in?
211
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,563
Oh, yeah.
212
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,023
- We're living in sin.
- Yeah.
213
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,774
- Taking the plunge.
- [both chuckle]
214
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,276
- Yeah.
- Don't tell my grandma in Taiwan.
215
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,361
[Nikki chuckles]
216
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,781
- [rapid thudding]
- [breathes heavily]
217
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,662
Your boobs are so relaxing.
They're like a cup of hot tea.
218
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,001
[sighs] I'm sorry. He's playing Mahler's
Sixth with the phil tomorrow night.
219
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,711
I'm playing Mahler's Sixth tomorrow!
220
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,129
Don't ever ask him about Mahler
221
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,381
because he starts whispering
in a really weird way.
222
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,133
Are you telling her
how I'm horny for Mahler?
223
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,635
[chuckles]
224
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,014
You guys are living together already?
When were you gonna tell me?
225
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:43,350
- I love him.
- You just met him.
226
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:46,062
[chuckling] It's been, like,
three months. I think?
227
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,772
- Is he being nice to you?
- Yes, he's being nice to me,
228
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:49,814
and I'm being nice to him.
229
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,317
This is why I didn't want to tell you.
230
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,029
- [whispers] Sorry. Sorry.
- Please don't be weird.
231
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,198
Just tell me to fuck off.
232
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:00,534
Fuck off.
233
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:04,537
It's good. It's different.
234
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:10,294
He doesn't vampire off my self-esteem
or sell my shoes on the Internet.
235
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,339
Noah's the most normal guy
that I've ever had amazing sex with.
236
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,548
Look at that. Look at that.
237
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,342
But you have amazing sex with everyone.
238
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,343
[Nikki] Mmm.
239
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,221
You once had an orgasm on the subway
just from listening to a podcast.
240
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,139
- Yeah.
- Was it true crime?
241
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,724
I think it was The Daily.
242
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,394
[both chuckle]
243
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:33,066
- Steve hasn't touched me in three years.
- What? No.
244
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,735
How is that even possible?
I didn't know it was that long.
245
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:37,779
I mean, my tits were full of cancer,
246
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,782
and then with the chemo,
I had diarrhea for about a year.
247
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,412
But still. Like, you're you. You.
248
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,163
[phone rings]
249
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:49,040
[Molly] Probably Steve.
250
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:52,460
But the worst thing is he's gonna forgive
me for this because I'm his sad, sick,
251
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,045
unfuckable wife.
252
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,172
He's the one who's gonna save me.
253
00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:57,674
- [Nikki] There.
- [ringing continues]
254
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,469
[Molly sighs] Not yet.
255
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,638
Um, are you gonna tell Gail?
256
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:07,767
[sighs] What's Noah's Wi-Fi?
257
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,729
TimpaniTime45. Are you going to tell Gail?
258
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,897
She's on a trip.
Can we make fun of that password, please?
259
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:14,858
No. Where? Where is your mom on a trip?
260
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,736
- She's north.
- You're lying.
261
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,113
Yes, I am. Will you tell me
more about the play?
262
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:23,659
No. No. Please don't do your thing.
Just talk to me.
263
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,955
Why are you hiding from Steve?
264
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,459
Why don't you wanna tell your mom?
265
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,835
She loves you.
266
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,005
- She's gonna need to know--
- Stop!
267
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:44,847
I'm making you soup.
268
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,187
- The good kind from the packet?
- Mm-hmm. I know what baby likes.
269
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:03,699
[breathes sharply]
270
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,577
[sobs]
271
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,707
- [slurps]
- That is why I haven't called so much.
272
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:15,835
It is this big Shakespeare production.
It's, like, this is it.
273
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,712
This is what I've been hoping to do
274
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,381
ever since I was a kid
pretending that I wasn't from New Jersey.
275
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,717
It's not a big deal. Please,
you don't have to call me every day.
276
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,428
No. It's not fine.
It's not. It's not fine.
277
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:28,973
[Molly] You've been like this
since you were 22, you beautiful flake.
278
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:32,561
I just... Yeah, I get
really caught up in work and...
279
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,356
- What's that like?
- No. Fuck that.
280
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,192
You do everything for Steve.
You organized his whole stupid book.
281
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:40,985
It wasn't stupid.
It was a Pulitzer finalist.
282
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:43,530
Well, nobody bought it
because it was so fucking depressing.
283
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,657
Well, it wasn't supposed to be fun.
It was about climate change.
284
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,284
Pfft. I couldn't shit
for a month after I read it.
285
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,536
[Nikki giggles]
286
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:50,996
I was too sad to shit.
287
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,414
[door buzzes]
288
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,544
Okay, you know what? That's Steve.
289
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,004
- He's been texting me.
- Not yet.
290
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:02,049
[door buzzes]
291
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,801
[teenager] Dad, get the door.
292
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,554
Hi, Winter. Hi.
293
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,222
This is Winter, Noah's daughter.
294
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:12,684
She stays here on Wednesdays,
which is great.
295
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,102
And, Winter, this is my friend Molly.
296
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,187
- [door buzzes]
- Dad?
297
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,564
- Yeah, look at my body right now.
- [Winter] Dad.
298
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,524
I'm, like, afraid of her.
But she's really sweet.
299
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,860
- [Noah] I didn't hear that.
- It's like I'm a dork. I am cool.
300
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,027
- I am cool.
- [Noah] Okay.
301
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:26,072
- Hi, wait. Hold on. Don't get the door.
- [Noah] Okay.
302
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:27,907
- It's Steve. We're not doing that.
- [Noah] Oh.
303
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:30,326
- Oh, did he cheat on you?
- No. She doesn't wanna talk about it.
304
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,453
My cancer is back, and it's not curable.
305
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,290
- [door buzzes]
- [whispers] Oh.
306
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,586
- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
- It's okay.
307
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,255
- [Molly] No cancer pity face.
- [door opens]
308
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:44,424
- [Steve] Molly.
- I let him in. What? What's happening?
309
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,092
[Nikki groans]
310
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,177
[Steve] Sorry to barge in
like this. I just--
311
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:49,429
[Winter whispers] Is she dying of cancer?
312
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,807
- [Noah] Oh, my God, baby, I don't think--
- All right, Molly, let's head out.
313
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:55,393
[Molly] I forgot how hot he is
when he's mad and wearing a blazer.
314
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,352
Hello? What's going on?
315
00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:58,354
I'm sorry. She's not dying of cancer.
It's just incurable.
316
00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,564
How is that different than dying?
317
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:00,773
[Molly] Stop saying "dying."
318
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,483
Is there any way
you could stop saying "dying"?
319
00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:03,610
Are you guys smoking in here?
320
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,571
- [sighs] Are you smoking in here?
- [laughs]
321
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,906
- Oh, come on.
- Who are these people, Dad?
322
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,407
- Molly. Let's go.
- This is why I don't wanna live with you
323
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,242
- and your random-ass girlfriend.
- [Molly] Whoa, yes.
324
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,952
- [Noah] Nikki is not random-ass.
- [Nikki] No. I am random.
325
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:14,871
- [Molly] Yes.
- This is happening fast, but I love her.
326
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,247
We're drinking soda too? Great.
327
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,291
[groans] I have to study for the PSATs.
I can't deal with cancer.
328
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,501
- I think we should talk about it.
- I don't wanna talk about it.
329
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:22,420
Smoking? And having
stressful emotional interactions.
330
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,756
That's... This is perfect.
This is exactly what we need.
331
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:25,673
Can we go?
332
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,884
[Molly] Oh, you're so
disappointed in me. It's so hot.
333
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,052
None of this is appropriate right now.
334
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,346
[Molly] I'm always doing
the wrong thing and you hate it.
335
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,183
It's a great environment
for you right now. [clears throat]
336
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,226
Hey, Steve.
337
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:38,520
Nikki.
338
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,027
I called the hospital.
339
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,571
They want you to meet
with a palliative care social worker
340
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,365
after our appointment
with the doctor tomorrow.
341
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,826
Just to help with some of these
big emotions you're having.
342
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:54,995
[clears throat]
343
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:58,499
We're done.
344
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,210
Look at this. Can't even recycle it.
345
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:04,797
I'm making you juice.
346
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,179
You remember when you used to fuck me?
347
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,349
Like, really fuck me?
348
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,436
[sighs]
349
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,148
You'd take me to parties
with all your friends,
350
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,652
and you'd talk about books I never read.
[chuckles]
351
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,571
And I'd get insecure,
and I'd pick a fight.
352
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:31,824
You'd have to take me home.
353
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:37,245
My priority right now
is keeping you alive as long as possible.
354
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,788
[breathes deeply]
355
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:42,042
Which means no caffeine,
no sugar, no green drink.
356
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,293
[sighs]
357
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:49,215
We're gonna start a food diary.
We're gonna set a bedtime.
358
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,926
- Molly. Molly!
- [panting]
359
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,096
Do you not wanna live longer?
360
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,098
I wanna blow you.
361
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,017
[whispers] Okay.
362
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:03,439
[panting]
363
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,859
[both moaning]
364
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,612
[moaning continues]
365
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,421
[moaning]
366
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,468
[sobbing]
367
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,723
- [sobbing] I'm sorry.
- [whispers] It's okay.
368
00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,893
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
369
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:44,897
It's okay.
370
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,068
It's okay.
371
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,571
[Molly] What if that's
the last time I have sex?
372
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,239
Half a blow job that made him cry?
373
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,282
It's okay.
374
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:59,368
- It's just your boobs.
- What?
375
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:03,289
[sobbing] When I touch 'em,
it makes me think of the mastectomy,
376
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,584
and then I think about losing you.
377
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,214
- My boobs make you think about death?
- Yeah.
378
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,593
I just don't understand,
like, what is this all about?
379
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:19,515
Like, wha-what is
this need of yours to blow me?
380
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:23,018
'Cause it's a little weird
considering what happened to you.
381
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,189
I'm sorry, but just, like,
your childhood trauma...
382
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,526
You say trauma like "traw-ma"?
383
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,779
- It's a... W-What do you mean?
- Say it.
384
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:35,947
- Trauma.
- "Traw-ma."
385
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,865
Yeah. That's how you say it.
386
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:41,203
Jesus! Fuck! I'm just saying, what I'm...
387
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:44,080
The first time you got cancer,
it re-traumatized you.
388
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:48,836
And then, like, this recurrence
is gonna probably add to the trauma.
389
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,921
[sighs] You're just deflecting.
390
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:54,424
You're deflecting,
and you can't even talk about it.
391
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:03,141
My mom's boyfriend made me
give him a blow job when I was seven.
392
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,685
- There. I talked about it.
- But you haven't processed it.
393
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,771
- I don't... What does that mean?
- You know what it means.
394
00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,940
When do you know
that you've processed your childhood?
395
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,234
You know what it means.
396
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,489
[sighs]
397
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,746
I have an interview
with CNN in ten minutes.
398
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:28,292
I tried to reschedule it
but they wouldn't let me.
399
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:29,668
[Molly] Who are you?
400
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,504
Do you know anything about me?
401
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:38,259
Um, can you get the interview with the...
with the family with the... with the baby?
402
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,178
Yeah.
403
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:45,350
[Molly] Did I do this?
Did I stop you from knowing me?
404
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,352
Are you the last person
I'll see before I die?
405
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,440
Is this sweater... Does it give me
a little pooch in the front?
406
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,112
[Dr. Pankowitz] All right. Well.
407
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,072
I, um...
408
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,491
I just wanna say, I'm sorry. So...
409
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,493
[Steve] Well, thanks, Dr. P.
Appreciate that.
410
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:05,579
[Molly] Say something.
411
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,414
[Steve, muffled]
I know we got a long road ahead.
412
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:11,834
I guess I'm wondering how soon
you think you'll have a treatment plan.
413
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,462
- [Dr. Pankowitz, muffled] Soon.
- [Molly] What do you want?
414
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:15,756
What do you want right now?
415
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,257
Well...
416
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:21,552
[Molly] Say something. Say something.
417
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:24,389
...possible for Molly
to come off the Tamoxifen now?
418
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,808
- Yeah, we could do that.
- Side effects have been rough.
419
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:30,145
- What side effects specifically?
- Stop it. Stop it. That's not...
420
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:32,105
What?
421
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:35,442
It's not yours to...
422
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:37,443
- He's my doctor.
- [thud]
423
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:38,527
- [Steve] Okay.
- Sorry.
424
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,655
I think we're still reeling
from the stage four of it all.
425
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:41,906
- Stop it. Stop it.
- What?
426
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,576
- It's my life. It's my death. It's mine.
- Okay.
427
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,040
[sighs]
428
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,334
- You know, maybe I should just--
- No, you can stay.
429
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,335
Oh...
430
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:57,338
- Okay, are you trying to hurt me?
- No. It's not about you.
431
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,507
This is about what I want.
This is about how I feel.
432
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,886
And I wanna feel things.
[stammers] I want to feel things.
433
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:08,225
[stammers] What does that even mean?
434
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,406
I don't need to have this conversation.
435
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,452
I don't need palliative care.
436
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:30,747
I'm not gonna die tomorrow.
437
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:36,962
Well, palliative care is all about
how you want to live with this.
438
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:41,466
Well, I'm here for psychological support,
pain management.
439
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:45,387
And when you're actively dying,
I'm here for that too.
440
00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:50,183
Hey. I know it's cheesy,
441
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:53,103
but... [whispers]
...everybody has a bucket list.
442
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:55,604
I tell patients to dream big.
443
00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:58,316
You know, climb a mountain,
eat something spicy.
444
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,568
- You know, roller-skate.
- I have cancer in my bones.
445
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,486
Well, it doesn't
have to be roller-skating--
446
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:04,447
You think if I learn
to fucking roller-skate--
447
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,656
- What about whales?
- Look--
448
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:06,991
Have you ever seen a whale before?
449
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:11,204
I'm too young, and it sucks, okay?
450
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:15,333
I haven't done anything with my life.
451
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,753
I actually don't know
what I like, or what I want.
452
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:23,842
I've never...
453
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,720
I've never even
had an orgasm with another person.
454
00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:29,598
[sobbing] And now I'm going to die.
455
00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:32,642
[social worker] Good.
456
00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:34,686
Molly.
457
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:36,855
Hey.
458
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,524
We have something for your list.
459
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,777
[sobs, sniffles]
460
00:22:43,278 --> 00:22:45,988
[singing] "Orgasm with another person."
461
00:22:45,989 --> 00:22:47,407
[both laughing]
462
00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:48,784
Yeah?
463
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:57,959
What is that?
464
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:00,044
Oh.
465
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,838
You know, I like
to have a little leather on me.
466
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:05,467
[Molly] Ask her.
467
00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:07,719
Are you into leather?
468
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,056
I like to be hog-tied.
469
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,725
Like, hands and feet?
470
00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:15,852
Like, legs together.
471
00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:18,772
What does that feel like?
472
00:23:20,482 --> 00:23:22,025
Thank you for not asking if it hurts.
473
00:23:23,985 --> 00:23:25,320
[exhales sharply] It's...
474
00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:28,573
It's very intense.
475
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,495
Does that kind of thing speak to you?
476
00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:40,335
You know,
because you could start exploring.
477
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,506
Molly, there's a whole world out there.
478
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:46,967
If you want it.
479
00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:57,853
[car door opens, closes]
480
00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:03,774
[pedestrians chattering]
481
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,402
I think I just left Steve.
482
00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:11,783
Okay.
483
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,413
I told him I don't wanna die with him.
484
00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:19,291
Oh.
485
00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:25,838
Oh, shit. [chuckles] Okay.
486
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:27,215
I wanna die with you.
487
00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:36,516
But it's okay if you can't.
488
00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:40,770
If it's too much to...
489
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:47,027
[chuckles]
490
00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:54,366
[♪ "Vampire Empire" playing]
491
00:24:54,367 --> 00:24:57,953
Yeah. Let's do it. Die with me.
492
00:24:57,954 --> 00:24:59,663
[chuckling] Yeah.
493
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:00,749
[Molly] Thank you.
494
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:05,212
Thank you.
495
00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:07,254
Sweetie.
496
00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:09,131
- [horn honks]
- Oh.
497
00:25:09,132 --> 00:25:11,008
Jesus Christ!
498
00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:15,137
I felt that in my fucking asshole, okay?
This is a fucking hospital!
499
00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:18,557
- Go somewhere else to honk your horn.
- Hey. Move your car, please!
500
00:25:18,558 --> 00:25:21,977
Sir, I'm talking to my friend
who just left her husband.
501
00:25:21,978 --> 00:25:24,688
- So just give me one fucking second!
- Cry me a fucking river!
502
00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:26,440
- Jesus Christ!
- Move your car! I need to get home.
503
00:25:26,441 --> 00:25:29,860
I'm being appropriate. I'm with someone
at the hospital. I'm not honking.
504
00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:31,987
- I'm not yelling at people.
- Cry me a river. Move the car.
505
00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:34,240
I'm a person doing the thing that people
are doing at the hospital
506
00:25:34,241 --> 00:25:36,116
- other than being sick.
- You know what? Fuck it.
507
00:25:36,117 --> 00:25:38,702
- I'll move it myself. Ah, fuck!
- What? Don't get up. Oh, my God!
508
00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:40,204
No. Just stay there. I'm sorry. I don't...
509
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:41,288
- Go, go, go!
- [Molly giggles]
510
00:25:41,289 --> 00:25:43,999
Fuck you! You started this!
You're a fucking dick!
511
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,086
- [horn honks]
- [Nikki] Just get in. Get in. Go.
512
00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:48,797
[Nikki] Get in. Get in.
513
00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:53,134
Drive.
514
00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:58,347
♪ I see you there
Rejecting all your earthly power ♪
515
00:25:58,348 --> 00:26:02,309
♪ I wanted to see you naked,
I wanted to hear you scream ♪
516
00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:05,771
♪ Wanted to kiss your skin
And your everything ♪
517
00:26:05,772 --> 00:26:09,316
♪ You turn me inside out
And then you want me outside in ♪
518
00:26:09,317 --> 00:26:13,028
♪ You spin me all around
And then you ask me not to spin ♪
519
00:26:13,029 --> 00:26:16,699
♪ You say you wanna be alone
And you want children ♪
520
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:20,786
♪ You wanna be with me
You wanna be with him ♪
521
00:26:20,787 --> 00:26:23,998
♪ You give me chills
I've had it with the drills ♪
522
00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:27,626
♪ I'm nothing, you are nothing
We are nothing with the pills ♪
523
00:26:27,627 --> 00:26:31,255
♪ I am empty till she fills
Alive until she kills ♪
524
00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:34,633
♪ In her vampire empire, I am ♪
525
00:26:34,634 --> 00:26:49,231
♪ Falling, yeah ♪
526
00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:51,276
[song ends]
40226
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