1 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:12,512 [Molly] What was his name? Was it Bradley? No. 2 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:17,350 Paul? T.J.? No, nobody's name is T.J. 3 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,518 [moans, echoing] 4 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,772 We were in our 20s and it was like he couldn't stop going down on me. 5 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,482 Maybe he was hungry. 6 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,152 Stop. Stop thinking about that. Stop it. 7 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,946 Be here with Steve. What did he just say? 8 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,157 I guess I'm a feminist? 9 00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,200 I'm the only male journalist at the magazine 10 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,910 that the female editors want to work with. 11 00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:40,205 I mean, it-it's fucked. Journalists can be monsters. 12 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:43,333 Overworked, underpaid, the burden of knowing too much. 13 00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:46,879 - I'm sorry, I think we got off topic. - No, it connects. I'm trying to make a... 14 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,963 [sighs] 15 00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,633 All right. I get... I'm confused, like, when I get interrupted. 16 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:55,721 Anyway, so yeah, I just think there's a little bit of a double standard here. 17 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,098 Molly and I haven't had an active sex life in years. 18 00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:01,185 Since Molly's breast cancer diagnosis? 19 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:04,980 Yeah. I mean, we weren't having much se... much sex when you got cancer, so... 20 00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,941 [Molly] Because you said my bald head made you think about your dad. 21 00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:09,026 [Steve speaking, muffled] 22 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,905 But you don't have to take care of me now. I'm healthy. 23 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,698 I just want you to want me. 24 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,241 Please. Please. 25 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:19,870 And it's like, now she wants to again, and I'm the bad guy 26 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:23,541 'cause I just can't flip a switch and suddenly be Mr. Sex? 27 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:27,754 What? 28 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,090 [chuckles] Mr. Sex? 29 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:35,094 Uh, Mr. Sex probably doesn't refer to himself as Mr. Sex 30 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,762 if he's actually Mr. Sex. 31 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,097 [chuckles] 32 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,891 Anyways... [sighs] 33 00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:45,730 Look, I know my wife. She's had a really complicated history with sex. 34 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:51,401 And I don't think... I don't think this is actually what you want. 35 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:55,532 I think there's some confusion here as to what you want. 36 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,283 [therapist] Molly, do you feel confused about what you want? 37 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,954 - You wanna have sex with Steve? - To have sex, yes. 38 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,247 [Molly] Shit. 39 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,456 With Steve. 40 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,667 But this isn't an authentic desire. 41 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,335 - It's the medication. - Tamoxifen. 42 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,587 Yeah, the drug that prevents the cancer from returning. 43 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:14,341 A side effect is decreased libido, but Molly's body is, like, an anomaly 44 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,760 - and it increased hers. - That's not a side effect. 45 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:19,096 Okay, but it is. Dr. Pankowitz said it's the meds. 46 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,889 Dr. Pankowitz is your doctor, Steve? 47 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,224 - Molly's. - Mine. 48 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,977 [phone rings] 49 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,482 I put my phone in the technology tray, like we're supposed to. 50 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,317 - You can just turn it off. - Sorry, it's the hospital. 51 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,819 I just, um... 52 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,405 It's that hip thing I had checked... It's, uh... I'm gonna take this. 53 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:39,116 You can just put him on speaker. Molly, put him on speaker. 54 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,951 - Hello? - Can you put him on speaker? 55 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,870 - [doctor] Molly, is this a good time? - Uh, yes. 56 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:46,623 Okay. I have the results of the biopsy on your hip 57 00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,626 and, um, unfortunately... 58 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:53,505 - [Molly] Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. - [horns honking] 59 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,340 [pedestrian] Watch where you're fucking going! 60 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:56,968 [siren wailing] 61 00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,013 - [panting, moaning] - [kisses] 62 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,765 [bell rings] 63 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,519 [♪ pop song plays on speakers] 64 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:14,152 [rapid panting, moaning] 65 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,070 {\an8}[Molly] Fuck. 66 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,415 - [siren wailing in distance] - [pedestrians chattering] 67 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,085 [vehicle approaching] 68 00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,838 - [engine rumbles] - [lighter clicking] 69 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:39,009 - Hey, baby. You need a ride somewhere? - Hi. 70 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,345 [Molly] Is this what it feels like to push someone off a cliff? 71 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,679 I'm sorry, were you busy? 72 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,307 Uh, I'm on my way to rehearsal. 73 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,101 Are you smoking cigarettes? What is that, menthols? 74 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:51,314 Oh, my God. Who are you? Are you my camp boyfriend? 75 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,233 What is this? 76 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:59,238 You know how I had that pain in my hip that wouldn't go away? 77 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,197 Uh-huh. 78 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:01,282 It's cancer. 79 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,661 [sighing] It's back. 80 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:12,669 But you... 81 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,256 - It's been two years. - I know. 82 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,882 And you did everything that the doctor said, 83 00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:20,760 - and you took all of their drugs... - I know. 84 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,845 - ...and this is still... Hmm. - It's not fair. 85 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:26,139 I don't want to die just when I'm getting used to my new boobs. 86 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,809 Stop. You're not gonna die. 87 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,898 I am, actually. It, um, metastasized to my bones. 88 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,567 - Mmm. - It's incurable. 89 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:39,153 [birds chirping] 90 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,574 [sobbing] Can you just give me one second? I'm so, so sorry. 91 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,368 - Hey. - [sobs] I'm sorry, I'm... 92 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,328 Babe, it's okay. It's okay. 93 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:51,416 No, I feel like it's just gonna get a little bit bigger. Just let me... 94 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,376 [retches, cries] 95 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,588 I... Just kidding. I'm fine! [chuckles] 96 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,300 - Y-You are? - No. 97 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,802 - Oh, my God! What the fuck? - Sorry. I don't know why I said that. 98 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,054 - What the fuck? - I'm not doing a very good job with this. 99 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,348 - What are you doing? What is it? - I don't know how to do this! 100 00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,267 I don't know how to tell you that I'm going to die! 101 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,352 Yeah, you're bad at this! This is a bad way to tell me! 102 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:14,062 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. 103 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,440 - [crying] Oh, God. - [sighs] 104 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,066 You look so nice. 105 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:21,653 Like, if you're dying, like, why are you fucking weirdly vibing right now? 106 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,280 - Like, glowing from within right now. - [chuckles] 107 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,741 - Is this your natural inner radiance? - [chuckling] I don't know. 108 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,827 - I'm so fucking confused, overstimulated. - What is this? Is she drunk? 109 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,330 - No. No. I just told her that I'm dying. - What? No, I'm not drunk. 110 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,458 - I'm human having human emotions. - Why is her crying so loud? 111 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,710 [strained] This is how I cry! 112 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,671 She's an actress. Her emotions live very close to the surface. 113 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,381 Huh? Leave! 114 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:43,175 - Go! - No, I won't do that. 115 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,968 My friend is a paying customer! 116 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,887 She bought this fucking weird fucking soda from you. 117 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,931 - Yeah, I did. Good Value Diet Soda. - Okay, that's nice. 118 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,391 But that doesn't give you the right 119 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,727 to stand outside my store and scream like a lunatic! 120 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,563 Don't come out here and tell two people in a private conversation... 121 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,231 - [both yelling, muffled] - [Molly] Look at her. 122 00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,692 - No. She's nice. You're not so nice. - Do not fucking talk about her! 123 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:05,447 [Molly] Not afraid. Everything out in the open. I love this woman. 124 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,075 - [♪ whimsical music playing] - [mouthing] Oh, my God. 125 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,786 [no audible dialogue] 126 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:20,253 I'm having a normal reaction, 127 00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:23,632 and a deep experience that I don't even wanna fucking be having! 128 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,469 - So go inside! - The hell is... What the... 129 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,514 - Fine. - Mm-hmm. 130 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,099 - Stay. - Cool. 131 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,059 Just shut the fuck up! Please! 132 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,644 - [music fades out] - [sniffles] 133 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,563 [door opens, closes] 134 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,777 - He said we can stay. - Yeah. No, I heard. 135 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:47,323 You have to try this soda. The aftertaste is unbelievably bad. 136 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,454 - Oh, it's junk. - I know. I can't stop drinking it. 137 00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:55,832 It's very bad. 138 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,418 When did you find out? 139 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,293 Twenty minutes ago. 140 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,754 - What? - In the middle of couples therapy. 141 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:05,048 - [doctor] Molly, is this a good time? - Uh, yes. 142 00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:08,760 Okay. I have the results of the biopsy on your hip 143 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:12,431 and, um, unfortunately it is not what we had hoped for... [distorts] 144 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:16,476 [Molly] It didn't feel real. I couldn't even hear what the doctor was saying. 145 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:20,773 I didn't feel sad, I just saw myself as a seven-year-old, dancing. 146 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,985 And this seven-year-old version of myself was being so mean to me. 147 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,611 [♪ classical music plays, muffled] 148 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,114 She was really a jerk. 149 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,116 [grunts, distorted] 150 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:31,617 She knew. 151 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,162 She knew what I'd done with my life and was mad about it. 152 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:38,165 She knew that Steve didn't touch me anymore, and she got so sad. 153 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,792 Because I think that she could see that I've spent my whole life 154 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,210 being scared of what I feel. 155 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,714 And I was so fucking pissed at her at this point. 156 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,466 And also, she's a terrible dancer. 157 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,343 [music fades out] 158 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,263 I got off the phone and I told Steve, 159 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:57,310 and he gave me this look of, like, pity, or... 160 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,854 I don't know. It wasn't pity, it was like... 161 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,148 I'll call the hospital. 162 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:04,733 We're gonna get through this. 163 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,817 [Molly] Excitement. 164 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,653 Oh, fucking Steve! I wanna shove him into a bush. 165 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:11,281 If I'm sick, then everything is so simple between us. 166 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,365 Yeah. 167 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:15,827 He's the caretaker and the martyr, and I'm his patient. 168 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,245 - Mm-hmm. - And that means he won't touch me. 169 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,706 Oh, my God. Can he not see you? 170 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,334 If he doesn't wanna touch you, then, like, he's not well. 171 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:26,671 But I... Like, I support your marriage. Obviously, I support your marriage. 172 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,423 So I'm standing there, and I'm looking at him, 173 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,424 - and then all of a sudden... - Uh-huh. 174 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:33,929 ...I get this flash of a memory of this guy who went down on me in my 20s. 175 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,805 I did not think you were gonna say that. 176 00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:41,061 I mean, his head is in my hands. So vivid. I can feel his hair in my fingers. 177 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,313 - [friend] Oh, yes. - [Molly] I mean, someone walked in on us. 178 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:46,149 I never even finished, but it was the best I've ever felt. 179 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,194 - Yes. - [Molly] And I just kept thinking, 180 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:51,029 I don't wanna die without ever feeling that way again. 181 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,866 And then I run across the street to this bodega. 182 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,954 To this bodega? Like, you ran from therapy to here? Like... 183 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:01,498 Yeah. It's right there. Oh, look. That's Dr. Anne. 184 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,833 - Oh, my God. What is she saying? - [Molly] I don't know. 185 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:07,630 - "Are you okay?" Are you okay? - No, I'm very bad. 186 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,883 Wait. Oh, my God. She's getting Steve. Shoot. Hide me. 187 00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,051 - What? - Hide me. [stammers] 188 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,345 Oh, um... Hold on. Uh... 189 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,138 I don't think this is gonna give you what want. 190 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,349 Oh, no. Oh, oh... I mean, make another choice. 191 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,685 - We have Steve. Steve's on the move. - Okay. All right. Let's go. 192 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,728 Where are we going? Just leave it. 193 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,689 - [Steve] Don't leave! - Here. Go, go, go. I got you. 194 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,856 [Molly] Thank God he doesn't jaywalk. 195 00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:28,358 [friend] Oh, my gosh. Okay. Are you good? 196 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,110 [Molly] Why am I so much bigger than I thought I was? 197 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,404 [Steve] Wait, wait, wait. Just let me talk to you for a second. 198 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,822 - [Molly] Drive! Nikki, please drive. - All right. 199 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,865 - He's getting closer. I can feel it. - [Steve] Nikki, no! Nikki, no! 200 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:38,160 - I don't have a fucking push start thing. - [Molly] Oh, my God! 201 00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,873 - Like, I'll deal with it in a second. - [Molly] Go up, twist, or... 202 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:47,502 It just sticks. Also, one other thing, just super quick... 203 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,379 - Hey, hey, hey. Hi. - Oh, my God. 204 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,923 [both chuckle, kiss] 205 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:52,966 Hold on just a sec. 206 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,177 - Just don't tongue me down right now. - Mmm. What? Oh. 207 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,013 - I mean... - Hi. Hi, Molly. 208 00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:58,930 - Hi. - Hi. 209 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,932 Sorry. Didn't see you there. [chuckles] 210 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,393 [chuckling] Did Nikki tell you that she moved in? 211 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,563 Oh, yeah. 212 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,023 - We're living in sin. - Yeah. 213 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,774 - Taking the plunge. - [both chuckle] 214 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,276 - Yeah. - Don't tell my grandma in Taiwan. 215 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,361 [Nikki chuckles] 216 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,781 - [rapid thudding] - [breathes heavily] 217 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,662 Your boobs are so relaxing. They're like a cup of hot tea. 218 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,001 [sighs] I'm sorry. He's playing Mahler's Sixth with the phil tomorrow night. 219 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,711 I'm playing Mahler's Sixth tomorrow! 220 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,129 Don't ever ask him about Mahler 221 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,381 because he starts whispering in a really weird way. 222 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,133 Are you telling her how I'm horny for Mahler? 223 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,635 [chuckles] 224 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,014 You guys are living together already? When were you gonna tell me? 225 00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:43,350 - I love him. - You just met him. 226 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:46,062 [chuckling] It's been, like, three months. I think? 227 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,772 - Is he being nice to you? - Yes, he's being nice to me, 228 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:49,814 and I'm being nice to him. 229 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,317 This is why I didn't want to tell you. 230 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,029 - [whispers] Sorry. Sorry. - Please don't be weird. 231 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,198 Just tell me to fuck off. 232 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:00,534 Fuck off. 233 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:04,537 It's good. It's different. 234 00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:10,294 He doesn't vampire off my self-esteem or sell my shoes on the Internet. 235 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,339 Noah's the most normal guy that I've ever had amazing sex with. 236 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,548 Look at that. Look at that. 237 00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,342 But you have amazing sex with everyone. 238 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,343 [Nikki] Mmm. 239 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,221 You once had an orgasm on the subway just from listening to a podcast. 240 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,139 - Yeah. - Was it true crime? 241 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,724 I think it was The Daily. 242 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,394 [both chuckle] 243 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:33,066 - Steve hasn't touched me in three years. - What? No. 244 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,735 How is that even possible? I didn't know it was that long. 245 00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:37,779 I mean, my tits were full of cancer, 246 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,782 and then with the chemo, I had diarrhea for about a year. 247 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,412 But still. Like, you're you. You. 248 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,163 [phone rings] 249 00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:49,040 [Molly] Probably Steve. 250 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:52,460 But the worst thing is he's gonna forgive me for this because I'm his sad, sick, 251 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,045 unfuckable wife. 252 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,172 He's the one who's gonna save me. 253 00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:57,674 - [Nikki] There. - [ringing continues] 254 00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,469 [Molly sighs] Not yet. 255 00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,638 Um, are you gonna tell Gail? 256 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:07,767 [sighs] What's Noah's Wi-Fi? 257 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,729 TimpaniTime45. Are you going to tell Gail? 258 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,897 She's on a trip. Can we make fun of that password, please? 259 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:14,858 No. Where? Where is your mom on a trip? 260 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,736 - She's north. - You're lying. 261 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,113 Yes, I am. Will you tell me more about the play? 262 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:23,659 No. No. Please don't do your thing. Just talk to me. 263 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,955 Why are you hiding from Steve? 264 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,459 Why don't you wanna tell your mom? 265 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,835 She loves you. 266 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,005 - She's gonna need to know-- - Stop! 267 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:44,847 I'm making you soup. 268 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,187 - The good kind from the packet? - Mm-hmm. I know what baby likes. 269 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:03,699 [breathes sharply] 270 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,577 [sobs] 271 00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,707 - [slurps] - That is why I haven't called so much. 272 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:15,835 It is this big Shakespeare production. It's, like, this is it. 273 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,712 This is what I've been hoping to do 274 00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,381 ever since I was a kid pretending that I wasn't from New Jersey. 275 00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,717 It's not a big deal. Please, you don't have to call me every day. 276 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,428 No. It's not fine. It's not. It's not fine. 277 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:28,973 [Molly] You've been like this since you were 22, you beautiful flake. 278 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:32,561 I just... Yeah, I get really caught up in work and... 279 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,356 - What's that like? - No. Fuck that. 280 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,192 You do everything for Steve. You organized his whole stupid book. 281 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:40,985 It wasn't stupid. It was a Pulitzer finalist. 282 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:43,530 Well, nobody bought it because it was so fucking depressing. 283 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,657 Well, it wasn't supposed to be fun. It was about climate change. 284 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,284 Pfft. I couldn't shit for a month after I read it. 285 00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,536 [Nikki giggles] 286 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:50,996 I was too sad to shit. 287 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,414 [door buzzes] 288 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,544 Okay, you know what? That's Steve. 289 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,004 - He's been texting me. - Not yet. 290 00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:02,049 [door buzzes] 291 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,801 [teenager] Dad, get the door. 292 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,554 Hi, Winter. Hi. 293 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,222 This is Winter, Noah's daughter. 294 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:12,684 She stays here on Wednesdays, which is great. 295 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,102 And, Winter, this is my friend Molly. 296 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,187 - [door buzzes] - Dad? 297 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,564 - Yeah, look at my body right now. - [Winter] Dad. 298 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,524 I'm, like, afraid of her. But she's really sweet. 299 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,860 - [Noah] I didn't hear that. - It's like I'm a dork. I am cool. 300 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,027 - I am cool. - [Noah] Okay. 301 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:26,072 - Hi, wait. Hold on. Don't get the door. - [Noah] Okay. 302 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:27,907 - It's Steve. We're not doing that. - [Noah] Oh. 303 00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:30,326 - Oh, did he cheat on you? - No. She doesn't wanna talk about it. 304 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,453 My cancer is back, and it's not curable. 305 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,290 - [door buzzes] - [whispers] Oh. 306 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,586 - Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I had no idea. - It's okay. 307 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,255 - [Molly] No cancer pity face. - [door opens] 308 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:44,424 - [Steve] Molly. - I let him in. What? What's happening? 309 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,092 [Nikki groans] 310 00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,177 [Steve] Sorry to barge in like this. I just-- 311 00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:49,429 [Winter whispers] Is she dying of cancer? 312 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,807 - [Noah] Oh, my God, baby, I don't think-- - All right, Molly, let's head out. 313 00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:55,393 [Molly] I forgot how hot he is when he's mad and wearing a blazer. 314 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,352 Hello? What's going on? 315 00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:58,354 I'm sorry. She's not dying of cancer. It's just incurable. 316 00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,564 How is that different than dying? 317 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:00,773 [Molly] Stop saying "dying." 318 00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,483 Is there any way you could stop saying "dying"? 319 00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:03,610 Are you guys smoking in here? 320 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,571 - [sighs] Are you smoking in here? - [laughs] 321 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,906 - Oh, come on. - Who are these people, Dad? 322 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,407 - Molly. Let's go. - This is why I don't wanna live with you 323 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,242 - and your random-ass girlfriend. - [Molly] Whoa, yes. 324 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,952 - [Noah] Nikki is not random-ass. - [Nikki] No. I am random. 325 00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:14,871 - [Molly] Yes. - This is happening fast, but I love her. 326 00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,247 We're drinking soda too? Great. 327 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,291 [groans] I have to study for the PSATs. I can't deal with cancer. 328 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,501 - I think we should talk about it. - I don't wanna talk about it. 329 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:22,420 Smoking? And having stressful emotional interactions. 330 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,756 That's... This is perfect. This is exactly what we need. 331 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:25,673 Can we go? 332 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,884 [Molly] Oh, you're so disappointed in me. It's so hot. 333 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,052 None of this is appropriate right now. 334 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,346 [Molly] I'm always doing the wrong thing and you hate it. 335 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,183 It's a great environment for you right now. [clears throat] 336 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,226 Hey, Steve. 337 00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:38,520 Nikki. 338 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,027 I called the hospital. 339 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,571 They want you to meet with a palliative care social worker 340 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,365 after our appointment with the doctor tomorrow. 341 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,826 Just to help with some of these big emotions you're having. 342 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:54,995 [clears throat] 343 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:58,499 We're done. 344 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,210 Look at this. Can't even recycle it. 345 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:04,797 I'm making you juice. 346 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,179 You remember when you used to fuck me? 347 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,349 Like, really fuck me? 348 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,436 [sighs] 349 00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,148 You'd take me to parties with all your friends, 350 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,652 and you'd talk about books I never read. [chuckles] 351 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,571 And I'd get insecure, and I'd pick a fight. 352 00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:31,824 You'd have to take me home. 353 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:37,245 My priority right now is keeping you alive as long as possible. 354 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,788 [breathes deeply] 355 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:42,042 Which means no caffeine, no sugar, no green drink. 356 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,293 [sighs] 357 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:49,215 We're gonna start a food diary. We're gonna set a bedtime. 358 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,926 - Molly. Molly! - [panting] 359 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,096 Do you not wanna live longer? 360 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,098 I wanna blow you. 361 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,017 [whispers] Okay. 362 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:03,439 [panting] 363 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,859 [both moaning] 364 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,612 [moaning continues] 365 00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,421 [moaning] 366 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,468 [sobbing] 367 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,723 - [sobbing] I'm sorry. - [whispers] It's okay. 368 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,893 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 369 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:44,897 It's okay. 370 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,068 It's okay. 371 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,571 [Molly] What if that's the last time I have sex? 372 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,239 Half a blow job that made him cry? 373 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,282 It's okay. 374 00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:59,368 - It's just your boobs. - What? 375 00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:03,289 [sobbing] When I touch 'em, it makes me think of the mastectomy, 376 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,584 and then I think about losing you. 377 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,214 - My boobs make you think about death? - Yeah. 378 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,593 I just don't understand, like, what is this all about? 379 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:19,515 Like, wha-what is this need of yours to blow me? 380 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:23,018 'Cause it's a little weird considering what happened to you. 381 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,189 I'm sorry, but just, like, your childhood trauma... 382 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,526 You say trauma like "traw-ma"? 383 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,779 - It's a... W-What do you mean? - Say it. 384 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:35,947 - Trauma. - "Traw-ma." 385 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,865 Yeah. That's how you say it. 386 00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:41,203 Jesus! Fuck! I'm just saying, what I'm... 387 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:44,080 The first time you got cancer, it re-traumatized you. 388 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:48,836 And then, like, this recurrence is gonna probably add to the trauma. 389 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,921 [sighs] You're just deflecting. 390 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:54,424 You're deflecting, and you can't even talk about it. 391 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:03,141 My mom's boyfriend made me give him a blow job when I was seven. 392 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,685 - There. I talked about it. - But you haven't processed it. 393 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,771 - I don't... What does that mean? - You know what it means. 394 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,940 When do you know that you've processed your childhood? 395 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,234 You know what it means. 396 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,489 [sighs] 397 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,746 I have an interview with CNN in ten minutes. 398 00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:28,292 I tried to reschedule it but they wouldn't let me. 399 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:29,668 [Molly] Who are you? 400 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,504 Do you know anything about me? 401 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:38,259 Um, can you get the interview with the... with the family with the... with the baby? 402 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,178 Yeah. 403 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:45,350 [Molly] Did I do this? Did I stop you from knowing me? 404 00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,352 Are you the last person I'll see before I die? 405 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,440 Is this sweater... Does it give me a little pooch in the front? 406 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,112 [Dr. Pankowitz] All right. Well. 407 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,072 I, um... 408 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,491 I just wanna say, I'm sorry. So... 409 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,493 [Steve] Well, thanks, Dr. P. Appreciate that. 410 00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:05,579 [Molly] Say something. 411 00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,414 [Steve, muffled] I know we got a long road ahead. 412 00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:11,834 I guess I'm wondering how soon you think you'll have a treatment plan. 413 00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,462 - [Dr. Pankowitz, muffled] Soon. - [Molly] What do you want? 414 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:15,756 What do you want right now? 415 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,257 Well... 416 00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:21,552 [Molly] Say something. Say something. 417 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:24,389 ...possible for Molly to come off the Tamoxifen now? 418 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,808 - Yeah, we could do that. - Side effects have been rough. 419 00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:30,145 - What side effects specifically? - Stop it. Stop it. That's not... 420 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:32,105 What? 421 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:35,442 It's not yours to... 422 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:37,443 - He's my doctor. - [thud] 423 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:38,527 - [Steve] Okay. - Sorry. 424 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,655 I think we're still reeling from the stage four of it all. 425 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:41,906 - Stop it. Stop it. - What? 426 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,576 - It's my life. It's my death. It's mine. - Okay. 427 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,040 [sighs] 428 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,334 - You know, maybe I should just-- - No, you can stay. 429 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,335 Oh... 430 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:57,338 - Okay, are you trying to hurt me? - No. It's not about you. 431 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,507 This is about what I want. This is about how I feel. 432 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,886 And I wanna feel things. [stammers] I want to feel things. 433 00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:08,225 [stammers] What does that even mean? 434 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,406 I don't need to have this conversation. 435 00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,452 I don't need palliative care. 436 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:30,747 I'm not gonna die tomorrow. 437 00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:36,962 Well, palliative care is all about how you want to live with this. 438 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:41,466 Well, I'm here for psychological support, pain management. 439 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:45,387 And when you're actively dying, I'm here for that too. 440 00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:50,183 Hey. I know it's cheesy, 441 00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:53,103 but... [whispers] ...everybody has a bucket list. 442 00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:55,604 I tell patients to dream big. 443 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:58,316 You know, climb a mountain, eat something spicy. 444 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,568 - You know, roller-skate. - I have cancer in my bones. 445 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,486 Well, it doesn't have to be roller-skating-- 446 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:04,447 You think if I learn to fucking roller-skate-- 447 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,656 - What about whales? - Look-- 448 00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:06,991 Have you ever seen a whale before? 449 00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:11,204 I'm too young, and it sucks, okay? 450 00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:15,333 I haven't done anything with my life. 451 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,753 I actually don't know what I like, or what I want. 452 00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:23,842 I've never... 453 00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,720 I've never even had an orgasm with another person. 454 00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:29,598 [sobbing] And now I'm going to die. 455 00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:32,642 [social worker] Good. 456 00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:34,686 Molly. 457 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:36,855 Hey. 458 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,524 We have something for your list. 459 00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,777 [sobs, sniffles] 460 00:22:43,278 --> 00:22:45,988 [singing] "Orgasm with another person." 461 00:22:45,989 --> 00:22:47,407 [both laughing] 462 00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:48,784 Yeah? 463 00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:57,959 What is that? 464 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:00,044 Oh. 465 00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,838 You know, I like to have a little leather on me. 466 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:05,467 [Molly] Ask her. 467 00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:07,719 Are you into leather? 468 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,056 I like to be hog-tied. 469 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,725 Like, hands and feet? 470 00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:15,852 Like, legs together. 471 00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:18,772 What does that feel like? 472 00:23:20,482 --> 00:23:22,025 Thank you for not asking if it hurts. 473 00:23:23,985 --> 00:23:25,320 [exhales sharply] It's... 474 00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:28,573 It's very intense. 475 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,495 Does that kind of thing speak to you? 476 00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:40,335 You know, because you could start exploring. 477 00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,506 Molly, there's a whole world out there. 478 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:46,967 If you want it. 479 00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:57,853 [car door opens, closes] 480 00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:03,774 [pedestrians chattering] 481 00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,402 I think I just left Steve. 482 00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:11,783 Okay. 483 00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,413 I told him I don't wanna die with him. 484 00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:19,291 Oh. 485 00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:25,838 Oh, shit. [chuckles] Okay. 486 00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:27,215 I wanna die with you. 487 00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:36,516 But it's okay if you can't. 488 00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:40,770 If it's too much to... 489 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:47,027 [chuckles] 490 00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:54,366 [♪ "Vampire Empire" playing] 491 00:24:54,367 --> 00:24:57,953 Yeah. Let's do it. Die with me. 492 00:24:57,954 --> 00:24:59,663 [chuckling] Yeah. 493 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:00,749 [Molly] Thank you. 494 00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:05,212 Thank you. 495 00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:07,254 Sweetie. 496 00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:09,131 - [horn honks] - Oh. 497 00:25:09,132 --> 00:25:11,008 Jesus Christ! 498 00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:15,137 I felt that in my fucking asshole, okay? This is a fucking hospital! 499 00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:18,557 - Go somewhere else to honk your horn. - Hey. Move your car, please! 500 00:25:18,558 --> 00:25:21,977 Sir, I'm talking to my friend who just left her husband. 501 00:25:21,978 --> 00:25:24,688 - So just give me one fucking second! - Cry me a fucking river! 502 00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:26,440 - Jesus Christ! - Move your car! I need to get home. 503 00:25:26,441 --> 00:25:29,860 I'm being appropriate. I'm with someone at the hospital. I'm not honking. 504 00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:31,987 - I'm not yelling at people. - Cry me a river. Move the car. 505 00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:34,240 I'm a person doing the thing that people are doing at the hospital 506 00:25:34,241 --> 00:25:36,116 - other than being sick. - You know what? Fuck it. 507 00:25:36,117 --> 00:25:38,702 - I'll move it myself. Ah, fuck! - What? Don't get up. Oh, my God! 508 00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:40,204 No. Just stay there. I'm sorry. I don't... 509 00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:41,288 - Go, go, go! - [Molly giggles] 510 00:25:41,289 --> 00:25:43,999 Fuck you! You started this! You're a fucking dick! 511 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,086 - [horn honks] - [Nikki] Just get in. Get in. Go. 512 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:48,797 [Nikki] Get in. Get in. 513 00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:53,134 Drive. 514 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:58,347 ♪ I see you there Rejecting all your earthly power ♪ 515 00:25:58,348 --> 00:26:02,309 ♪ I wanted to see you naked, I wanted to hear you scream ♪ 516 00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:05,771 ♪ Wanted to kiss your skin And your everything ♪ 517 00:26:05,772 --> 00:26:09,316 ♪ You turn me inside out And then you want me outside in ♪ 518 00:26:09,317 --> 00:26:13,028 ♪ You spin me all around And then you ask me not to spin ♪ 519 00:26:13,029 --> 00:26:16,699 ♪ You say you wanna be alone And you want children ♪ 520 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:20,786 ♪ You wanna be with me You wanna be with him ♪ 521 00:26:20,787 --> 00:26:23,998 ♪ You give me chills I've had it with the drills ♪ 522 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:27,626 ♪ I'm nothing, you are nothing We are nothing with the pills ♪ 523 00:26:27,627 --> 00:26:31,255 ♪ I am empty till she fills Alive until she kills ♪ 524 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:34,633 ♪ In her vampire empire, I am ♪ 525 00:26:34,634 --> 00:26:49,231 ♪ Falling, yeah ♪ 526 00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:51,276 [song ends]