Original subtitles

[ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[PEOPLE SCREAMING IN DISTANCE]

[SCREAMS GETTING CLOSER]

[INFECTED SNARLING]

- [CRUNCH] - [SCREAMING STOPS]

JIM: [ECHOING] Hello?

[DISQUIETING MUSIC PLAYING]

[DISTANT INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[LAUGHTER]

JIMMY FOX: Fucking useless piece of shit.

Welcome to the fucking nightmare.

JIMMY JIMMY: Go on. Go on, Jimmy.

JIMMY FOX: Don't let it be you, Shite.

Where you going? Fuck you, boy!

JIMMY JIMMY: You got this, Jimmy. You got this!

[PANTING]

Old Nick's gonna have his way with you.

[LAUGHTER]

I think he's never seen a knife in his life, has he?

JIMMY FOX: Fucking quivering piece of shit.

Aw! Look at the little baby.

It's all for Old Nick.

Come on, Shite, I'm fucking bored, man.

JIMMY JONES: Aye.

Get him, Shite. This is your chance.

Fuckin' hell.

- Fucking move it. - You little shit.

- JIMMY: Fingers. - [CHATTER STOPS]

[SPIKE BREATHING ANXIOUSLY]

You understand, this is a fight to the death.

No quarter.

FINGERS: Yes, Sir Jimmy.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Are you watching, Father?

Master.

Dark Lord.

Are you ready

to see if the boy has what it takes to be a finger?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Good.

Okay.

- Fight. - Whoo!

JIMMY FOX: Fucking come on, then.

Fucking get him, boy.

- JIMMY JIMMY: Go on. - [LAUGHTER]

- Fucking have him. - [SPIKE GASPING]

See this? See that?

I'll make it easier for you.

- [CLATTERING] - [LAUGHTER]

- JIMMY INK: Watch it, Shite. - Come on!

[GASPING]

JIMMY INK: Come on, kid. JIMMY JIMMY: Fucking do it!

Ooh!

- [LAUGHTER] - [SPIKE WHIMPERS]

[JIMMY JIMMY EXCLAIMS]

JIMMY SHITE: Unlucky, pal.

- [SPIKE GASPING] - I bet that hurts.

- [KNIFE CLATTERING] - You dropped your knife.

[GASPING] Just... please.

Do you wanna pick that blade up?

- Go on. - JIMMY JIMMY: Go on.

- [SPIKE GASPS] - [FINGERS LAUGH]

JIMMY SNAKE: Yes, Shite!

- [EXCLAIMING] - JIMMY FOX: Yes, son.

[LAUGHTER]

JIMMY SHITE: Fucking prick.

JIMMY INK: You're taking the piss.

Don't fucking you worry about that, Jimmy.

I plan to.

[LAUGHTER]

I'm just messing wi' you, kid.

- [SPIKE PANTING] - [SNIFFLES]

Go on, kid. Go on. Take it.

Pick it up!

- Too slow, pal. - [LAUGHTER]

I could do this for fucking hours.

Fuck's sake, just finish it.

He's half your fucking size.

JIMMY SHITE: I'll tell you what.

After I'm done with this little prick,

how about me and you, fancy that?

- [LAUGHTER] - [GRUNTS]

- Ahhh! - Ooh!

JIMMY SHITE: Shit!

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, fuck!

You little fucking cunt.

I'm gonna skin you wi' your own fucking blade.

[SPIKE GASPING]

JIMMY: Oh.

[LAUGHTER]

- What... - What the fuck? What the fuck?

- Oh... [LAUGHS] - JIMMY JIMMY: Fucking hell.

JIMMY JIMMY: Oh, fuck me. JIMMY SNAKE: Oh, no.

That's you fucked, Jimmy.

JIMMY SHITE: What d'you... What d'you mean?

That's an artery he's hit there.

Aye, it is.

- JIMMY: Oh, no. - That's a lot of blood.

Ooh-hoo. [LAUGHS]

Fuck. Please. No, no, no!

- No! - [LAUGHTER]

JIMMY SHITE: Fuck! Fuck.

Somebody, please help me!

Stop laughing. Help me!

Hey, that's not how it fucking works.

But...

Sir.

No, Jimmy's right. That's not how it works at all.

JIMMY SHITE: Shit!

Jesus Christ.

Oh, Jesus! Oh, God.

Christ, God!

What are you calling on those shite cunts for, Jimmy?

Sir, please help me.

- Help, please, I'm scared. - JIMMY: What, you wee crybag?

JIMMY SHITE: Sir, I'm getting...

What are you getting, Jimmy?

Getting hungry?

Getting horny?

[BREATHES LABORIOUSLY]

Getting sleepy?

[EXHALES DEEPLY, BREATHING CEASES]

Aw, sleepy.

Bless.

[BREATHING ERRATICALLY]

What's your name, son?

[SPIKE BREATHING NERVOUSLY]

S... S... Spike.

Spike? No, no.

No, that doesnae sound right.

I think your name is...

JIMMIMA: ♪ Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy ♪

[CHUCKLES]

It's Jimmy.

[CHUCKLES]

Jimmy.

[FINGERS LAUGH]

- Howzat? - FINGERS: Howzat.

- [FINGERS CHUCKLE] - [SPIKE BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[BREATHING ERRATICALLY]

JIMMIMA: Mine. JIMMY SNAKE: Give us a kiss.

[INFECTED SNARLING]

[GRUNTING]

JIMMIMA: Whoo.

[INSECTS TRILLING]

[INSECTS BUZZING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[TWIG SNAPS]

[TWIG SNAPS]

[SCREECHING]

[INFECTED SNARLING]

[GRUNTING]

[GROWLS]

MAN: No! No! No! [HYPERVENTILATING]

[SAMSON GROWLS]

[SNARLS]

- [GROWLS] - [GASPS]

[SAMSON YELLS]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAM FADES OUT]

[CHAINS RATTLING]

[GROANS]

♪ See them walking Hand in hand...

♪ Across the bridge At midnight

♪ Heads turning As the lights...

♪ Flashing out are so bright

- [BONES CRACKING] - [BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SQUELCHING]

[IN DISTANCE] ♪ Lipstick cherry All over the lens...

[GRUNTS]

♪ As she's falling

♪ In miles of Sharp blue water...

♪ Coming in where she lies

♪ The diving man's Coming up for air

♪ 'Cause the crowd all love Pulling Dolly by the hair

♪ By the hair

♪ She wonders How she ever got here...

♪ As she goes under again

♪ Girls on film

♪ Girls... ♪

[LOW GROWL]

- [LOW TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] - [LOW GROWL]

[GROWLING]

[SAMSON BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SCREAMING]

[GROWLS]

[SAMSON SCREAMS]

[LOW GROWL]

[GROWLING LOWLY]

[GROWLING]

- [DART WHIZZES] - [GROANS]

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

DR. KELSON: Well, an infected patient.

[CHUCKLES]

This is strange.

Possibly a world's first, Samson.

Yeah, you have a name.

I chose it when I first saw

the new Alpha that had taken the woods

as his hunting ground.

- [SQUELCHING] - [GROANS SOFTLY]

I named you for your size and strength...

and hair.

I'm Doctor Kelson.

Although right now, I feel more like Androcles...

removing thorns from the lion's paw.

Which means... [SIGHS]

you owe me, by the way.

[SNIFFLES]

Just kidding.

I'm NHS.

No charge.

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[CROW CAWING]

[STEAM HISSING]

[HISSING]

[HISSING]

[HISSING]

[HISSING]

[OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]

[SIGHS]

[LIGHTER CLICKS]

[LIGHTER CLATTERS]

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

[STATIC ON RECORD]

[ GIRLS ON FILM BY DURAN DURAN PLAYING ON RECORD PLAYER]

[SONG STOPS]

[SNIFFLES]

[SAMSON GROWLING SOFTLY]

[SAMSON BREATHING ERRATICALLY]

[GRUNTS]

This is interesting.

[SNARLS]

[GROWLS]

- [GROWLS] - I'm going to trust you, Samson.

That's the decision I've made.

I have what you want right here.

If you kill me,

if my head is pulled from my shoulders,

you won't get to have it.

It's a transaction, Samson.

It's a quid pro quo.

[GROWLS]

Suddenly, I'm not entirely sure you understand Latin.

[SAMSON GRUNTS]

[SAMSON GROWLS]

[BREATHING ERRATICALLY]

Oh, thank God. You do.

[DART WHIZZES]

[BREATHING GROGGILY]

[SOFT, MUFFLED RUMBLING]

[GASPS, EXHALES]

- [SAMSON GASPS SOFTLY] - [RUMBLING FADING OUT]

Yeah.

I wonder if you understand anything I say.

If not the meaning of my words,

the meaning in the tone of my voice.

That I am no threat to you.

I mean you no harm.

Do you know the sound of your name?

- Samson... - [GRUNTS]

Most wondrous would be to hear you speak a single word.

It would be miraculous...

to discover that the infection

lies over your mind,

clouding it,

not replacing it.

In this tranquil state, do you have memories?

A trace of what you once were.

Or do I just give you peace and respite?

[CHUCKLES]

Nothing wrong with that, Samson.

Nothing wrong with peace and respite.

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[SUCKS]

Nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with peace, respite.

[SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES]

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

- [BIRDS CHIRPING] - [MUSIC FADES OUT]

All still attached...

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[LAUGHING]

[ ORDINARY WORLD BY DURAN DURAN PLAYING]

Samson.

[LAUGHING]

You beauty.

[CONTINUES LAUGHING]

[ ORDINARY WORLD BY DURAN DURAN CONTINUES ON RECORD PLAYER]

[SAMSON SCREAMS]

[ ORDINARY WORLD BY DURAN DURAN CONTINUES PLAYING]

[RAIN PATTERING]

[ ORDINARY WORLD BY DURAN DURAN CONTINUES PLAYING]

[SONG FADES]

[WIND WHISTLING]

[LANTERN RATTLING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[CROW CAWING]

[MOUTHING] I'm going to go

have a look over there, and you go...

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[SNARLING IN DISTANCE]

[SOFTLY] Jonno.

[INFECTED SNARLING]

[SNARLING]

If he sees us...

he's gonna scream.

[BREATH TREMBLING]

Jonno. Jonno, don't...

- [TWIG SNAPS] - [ROARING]

- [JONNO GRUNTS] - [GROANS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

- JONNO: Help! - Go. Run.

What about Jonno?

[GROANS]

[INFECTED SNARLING]

[PANTING]

Help!

- What about me? - WOMAN: Run!

Wait!

[INFECTED SNARLING]

Don't leave me!

Don't leave!

[SNARLING]

[GROANS]

[JONNO GROANS]

[INFECTED SNARLING]

Come on, Tom.

Let's fucking go!

[RETCHING]

[GROANING LOUDLY]

- [YELLING] - [BONES CRUNCHING]

[PANTING] Okay.

- What are we gonna tell 'em? - What happened.

TOM: But we lost Jonno.

Jonno lost himself. Come here.

- [BOTH PANTING] - [SCREECHING IN DISTANCE]

Come on. Right. Okay.

[SHEEP BLEATING]

George.

I'm sorry, I've got bad news.

- George, I said that... - We have guests.

What?

We have guests.

- [WOMAN GASPS] - Hello.

There's someone I want you to meet.

JIMMY: Tinky-Winky would go nowhere

without his bag. Nowhere.

- But for this one occasion. - [LAUGHTER]

And, of course, you saw it coming.

JIMMIMA: Tinky-Winky.

Uh, Tinky-Winky decided

- to come back. - Classic.

And found that Laa-Laa and Po had not only lost

- one of the apples... - Sit down.

...but they'd lost the entire fucking bag.

[LAUGHTER]

Do you not know the Teletummies?

Ah, they're glorious.

They had televisions on their tums.

And on television, they viewed themselves,

but with another television on their tums.

Which they also viewed themselves on.

Thank you.

And so on and so on, ad infinitum.

Jimmima, do the Dipsy dance.

[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

[LAUGHTER INTENSIFIES]

JIMMY FOX: Yes.

[JIMMIMA VOCALIZES]

JIMMY: That's perfect.

- Howzat? - FINGERS: Howzat! Howzat!

Hello.

What are you doing here?

Uh...

Enjoying the hospitality of good folk.

We, a group of wanderers,

hungry and tired,

brought in with open arms and broad smiles,

- and nourished, and... - Brought in?

You broke my flow.

- GEORGE: They just appeared. - The gate was open.

- It was not. - Brought in and nourished...

in both stomach and heart.

Are... Are we not welcome?

You know you're not.

Well, I do now. No, Dipsy dance.

Oh, no.

We've got off on the...

- [CUTLERY CLANGS] - ...the wrong foot.

It's because we haven't been properly introduced.

- Uh, fingers... - Jimmy.

Jimmy.

- Ji... Jimmy. - Jimmy.

- Jimmima. - Jimmy.

Jimmy.

Roberto Calamari.

[FINGERS LAUGHING]

Fucking tough crowd.

It's a joke.

I'm Jimmy, too. We're all Jimmy.

Are you going to leave?

Yes.

But obviously, we're going to kill you first.

[MAN SCREAMS]

- [SCREAMING] - Go!

[PEOPLE GROANING]

JIMMY JIMMY: God damn it! JIMMY SNAKE: Hold on.

GEORGE: You get your... JIMMY JIMMY: Fucking hell!

[JIMMIMA SCREAMING]

- [GRUNTS] - JIMMY SNAKE: Yeah.

GEORGE: You're all stupid. JIMMY JIMMY: Fucking cunt!

- [MAN GROANING] - JIMMY SNAKE: Get up!

[PANTING]

[UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING]

[SHEEP BLEATING]

JIMMY: It would frustrate Old Nick

to lose both her and the baby.

JIMMY SNAKE: Yes, Sir Jimmy.

[JIMMIMA LAUGHING]

We'll stay here tonight.

Offer charity.

Tomorrow, pastures new. Go find pastures new.

I'm missing charity?

- JIMMY JIMMY: Fuck off! - Fuck off.

JIMMY JIMMY: Now get in the fucking barn.

JIMMY FOX: Look at your fucking...

[LAUGHTER]

JIMMIMA: Come on.

JIMMY INK: Tinky-Winky and the fucking apples.

"You saw it coming?"

'Course I fucking saw it coming.

I've heard the story a million fucking times.

- [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] - [SNARLING]

[CONTINUES SNARLING]

[FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ Moving on the floor now Babe

♪ You're a bird of paradise

♪ Cherry ice cream smile

♪ I suppose it's very nice

[MUFFLED] ♪ With a step to the left

♪ And a flick to the right

♪ You catch that mirror Way out west

♪ Her name is Rio

♪ And she dances On the sand

♪ Just like that river

♪ Twisting through A dusty land

[MUFFLED RIO BY DURAN DURAN PLAYING]

♪ And when she shines

♪ She really shows you All she can

♪ Oh, Rio, Rio...

♪ Dance across The Rio Grande

[SONG STOPS]

♪ You mean so much to me

♪ Like a birthday

♪ Or a pretty view

♪ And I've seen you on TV

♪ Two of a billion stars

♪ But then I'm sure That you know

♪ It's just for you

You are fuckin' shittin' me.

DR. KELSON: ♪ Her name is Rio...

♪ And she dances on the sand

♪ Just like that river Twisting through a dusty land ♪

JIMMY: And Old Nick saw

that the world of man had failed,

and knew only disharmony.

And so Old Nick released his demons

unto the world of man.

And the world of man fell before the demons,

and his world became like the guttering candle flame.

And God did nothing...

for he was invisible.

And couldnae punch his way

out of a paper fucking bag anyway.

And so...

the world of man became Old Nick's dominion...

and his dominion was Hell.

Howzat.

FINGERS: Howzat.

Then Old Nick did speak to his favored son,

whose name was Jimmy Crystal.

And he said unto Jimmy,

"You are now Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal.

"And you shall be my right hand,

"which shall be strong,

"and you shall have seven fingers.

"And each finger shall be a claw,

"and you shall offer charity to the world of man.

"And for this,

"you alone shall be my heir!

"And your seven fingers shall hold

"your crown."

Howzat?

FINGERS: Howzat.

[TOM WHIMPERING]

I am

Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal...

favored son of Old Nick.

These are my fingers.

We travel the land,

we search for souls to deliver to my father.

And we offer you...

charity.

Jimmies.

- Yes, sir. - Yes, Sir Jimmy.

Today's charitable act shall be...

The removal of the shirt.

[BREATH TREMBLING]

[QUIETLY] Please, no. Please.

- [BREATHING HEAVILY] - [TOM WHIMPERING]

[DISQUIETING MUSIC PLAYING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[WHIMPERING]

[DISQUIETING MUSIC CONTINUES]

[FINGERS EXCLAIMING]

JIMMY JONES: Hello, Grandpappy. JIMMY SNAKE: I choose you...

JIMMY JIMMY: I wanna make you fucking cry

and scream.

[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

- [KNIFE SWISHING] - [MUFFLED SCREAMING]

JIMMY SNAKE: That fucking hurts?

[LAUGHTER]

[SKIN RIPS]

[MAN GROANS]

- [MAN SCREAMING] - [LAUGHTER]

[RETCHING]

[CONTINUES RETCHING]

- [LAUGHTER] - [MAN SCREAMING]

[SIGHS]

[SPIKE GROANING]

Jimmy?

SPIKE: Please, I can't... [GROANS]

JIMMY: Sort it out, Jimmy Ink.

- [MAN SCREAMING] - [SPIKE PANTING]

You can't avoid this, kid. This is what we do.

I can't...

[PANTING]

Please.

I can't. Please.

Please.

- [SPIKE PANTING] - [MAN MOANING IN PAIN]

Okay, okay.

All right. Just stay out here.

[MAN SCREAMING]

[BIRDS CALLING]

[WIND BLOWING]

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

Samson...

my friend.

There's something we need to talk about.

The medicine I've been giving you.

It's a cocktail of various things.

But the main and most powerful component

is morphine.

At your rate of consumption,

I only have enough for two more weeks.

Over the last 28 years,

I've searched every medicine cabinet

in a 70-mile radius.

[VOICE ECHOING] We won't find any more.

Inevitably, one way or another,

the opiate peace you have found with me...

will end.

But there is something I can offer you.

[MUFFLED RHYTHMIC THUMPING]

A different kind of peace.

A place in the ossuary.

In a way,

a home.

- With me. - [SAMSON BREATHES HEAVILY]

I want you to have lasting peace, Samson.

And I think you want to have peace, too.

And that's why we've become friends.

Good friends.

If there was just some way

you could give consent.

Just the barest assent.

[SAMSON BREATHING HEAVILY]

[MUFFLED RHYTHMIC THUMPING]

[TAPPING]

Sleep well, Samson.

Moon.

What? Did you...

Samson...

you spoke.

M...

Say it again.

Say...

- Moon. - [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[SNIFFLES]

Moon.

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

[CAPTIVES SCREAMING AND GROANING]

[SQUELCHING]

[GAGGING]

[WOMAN CRYING]

[SPIKE SPITS]

[TOM GROANING]

[TOM WHIMPERING]

[GROANS]

[SOBBING]

[TOM WHIMPERS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

I need strong fingers.

Strong fingers make a strong fist.

[CRYING]

Whoa. [SNAPS FINGERS]

- Listen! - [GROANS]

- Focus. - [GROANS]

Hey.

Choose a finger to fight.

[BREATH TREMBLING]

If you win...

you take their place, and I call you Jimmy.

If you lose, you get charity.

If you refuse, you get charity.

Nod or shake your head.

TOM: Mm.

Good.

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

Which finger do you choose to fight?

[SPITS]

Her.

I choose her.

[CHUCKLES]

JIMMY: [ECHOING] Father...

master, daddy,

king, king of kings...

Join us.

TOM: [GROANS] Fuck.

Yes. We thank you.

We are grateful.

Old Nick is here, Jimmies.

He watches through my eyes.

He smells the blood and fear.

He's whispering now.

I can feel his lips on my ear, whispering.

He's saying...

fight.

So fucking fight.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

Come on.

[BREATH TREMBLING]

[FINGERS LAUGHING]

[GROANING]

Too fucking easy.

I make it look easy, you cunt.

- [TOM GRUNTS] - Ooh!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

- [KNIFE CLATTERS] - [LAUGHING]

JIMMY JIMMY: Finish it.

[JIMMIMA SQUEALING]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

- [JIMMIMA STRAINING] - [GROANING]

[SHOUTING]

[GROANING]

- [SCREAMING] - [KNIFE SWISHES]

- [GRUNTING] - [FINGERS LAUGHING]

[TOM GROANING]

JIMMY JIMMY: Time for tubby night nights.

A Dipsy Laa-Laa!

Useless bellend.

Look at him trying to get up, the stupid fucking...

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[GROANING]

JIMMY JONES: Again! Again!

[GROANING]

JIMMY: Beautifully done, Jimmima.

The boy's pain is Old Nick's delight.

- [GROANING] - [JIMMIMA LAUGHING]

Old Nick says...

"Charity."

Choose your act.

[GROANS]

I want to take his trousers off.

[CHUCKLES]

Old Nick says, "Perfect."

[LAUGHTER]

JIMMY JONES: He's shitting himself.

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

[LAUGHTER]

[WHIMPERS]

- [JIMMIMA INHALES, MOANS] - [WHIMPERING]

[JIMMIMA PANTING]

D'you see these other cunts?

Listen to me!

They would have just stabbed you in the neck.

Not me.

You chose me 'cause you thought I was weaker.

Hmm.

What you gonna be thinking...

as I rip the skin off of your...

[FLESH SQUELCHES]

[GASPS, GROANS]

[CHOKES]

[WEAKLY] My cat has lost.

My cat... [GASPS]

[CHOKES]

Kitten fresh.

[VOICE CRACKING] Cloud space!

Cloud...

[WHEEZES] Cloud...

[GROANS]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

JIMMY: The fuck?

- There! Up there! - [SCREAMS]

Fucking bitch! Fucking shite!

- Get her! - JIMMY FOX: Poxy bitch.

You stupid little cunt!

JIMMY SNAKE: How d'you get up? JIMMY: Get her!

JIMMY FOX: I'm gonna fucking kill you, you stupid cunt!

Get her! Go! Go! Go!

JIMMY JIMMY: This fucking little bitch!

JIMMY FOX: She's there. She's there!

- JIMMY SNAKE: Where is she? - [SCREAMS]

JIMMY SNAKE: Point her out to me.

JIMMY FOX: There, you can fucking see her there, you twat.

I want her alive!

Alive!

JIMMY JONES: Come out wherever you are!

JIMMY SNAKE: Fucking coming for ya.

JIMMY JIMMY: Fucking show yourself!

JIMMY: Go on! Get up there!

JIMMY JIMMY: Go on! Take that, you little bitch!

JIMMY JONES: Where is she?

[SCREAMING]

JIMMY JONES: Jimmy!

JIMMY FOX: Put it out!

JIMMY SNAKE: Sir?

Don't! Here, go on! Get out! Go!

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

It's a lot of fucking screaming.

[SCREAMING IN DISTANCE]

I suppose there's always screaming with charity.

That just doesn't sound like normal screaming.

That sound like normal screaming to you, Jimmy?

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

I mean, what's screaming supposed to sound like?

It's people shittin' themselves, innit?

Hey, don't mind me. I'm overthinking it.

[SCREAMING]

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

JIMMY: Put him out!

Put him out!

JIMMY JONES: Fire! I'm on fire! I'm on fucking fire!

[JIMMY JONES SCREAMING]

Please...

[COUGHING]

[CONTINUES SCREAMING]

[ALL COUGHING]

[GRUNTS]

[COUGHING]

Kid!

Catch her!

Bring her to me!

[PANTING]

WOMAN: Come on.

[WHIMPERING]

[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]

[WHIMPERING]

[PANTING]

Take me with you.

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

Please.

Please take me with you.

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

Thank you.

[GROANING]

[CONTINUES GROANING]

[LOCK CLICKS]

[PANTING]

[CLATTERING]

[JIMMY INK BREATHING HEAVILY]

He's dead.

[SCREAMS]

[SOFTLY] Fuck.

JIMMY FOX: Sir.

JIMMY: You're alone.

- Yes, Sir Jimmy. - JIMMY: I'm confused.

I thought I told you to bring the woman to me.

SPIKE: You... You did...

The woman who crushed Jimmima's skull

with a big fuck-off hook.

Why would you let somebody like that go?

[BREATHING HEAVILY] I didn't let her go.

Then where is she?

She tried to escape.

She fought back, and... and I had to kill her.

She fought back, Jimmies. [CHUCKLES]

She fought back.

Jimmy here had no choice.

He was in danger of being overpowered by a...

by a pregnant woman.

[SPIKE BREATHING HEAVILY]

How did you kill her?

With an arrow.

Where's her body?

It was dark. [BREATHING ANXIOUSLY]

Some... Somewhere in the woods.

Somewhere hard to find, I expect.

SPIKE: Yeah.

Did you not think to cut off her face...

bring that to me?

Or her unborn child?

Anything, really, that showed a bit of fucking initiative.

[WHIMPERING]

What are you crying about?

I'm not. [SNIFFLES]

I'm sorry.

Not me you should be apologizing to.

It's Old Nick you've let down.

I wonder, should I call on him?

[CRYING]

Ask whether he accepts your apology.

Or requires something more.

Like your gammy fucking face cut off, for example.

No, please.

You should call on him, sir.

And ask if I can be the one to offer charity.

JIMMY: You wish to offer charity, Jimmy?

He as good as killed Jimmima himself.

If he hadn't run away,

we all know he would've been chosen to fight.

He doesn't deserve to be a finger, sir.

Look at him now. The bastard's fucking quivering!

[SPIKE'S BREATH TREMBLING]

Yeah, I agree.

We should ask Old Nick about young Jimmy.

Yes. We should.

- I'll call on him right now. - JIMMY INK: No.

No, we should ask him in person.

Wha... What do you mean?

We should ask Old Nick about young Jimmy in person.

Jimmy, Old Nick does not just appear

in person when requested.

JIMMY INK: No, of course not. But I...

What?

I saw him.

You saw him?

JIMMY INK: Earlier today.

You saw Old Nick.

With me own eyes.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

He had red skin...

and he was aged.

And he had this great building

of human bones behind him.

His palace, I dare say.

[CLATTERING]

And he was cavorting with one of his very own demons.

An Alpha, no less.

An Alpha sat at his master's feet like a fucking lamb.

So should we let Old Nick himself decide?

[CRACKLING]

[ EVERYTHING IN ITS RIGHT PLACE BY RADIOHEAD PLAYING]

[ EVERYTHING IN ITS RIGHT PLACE CONTINUES ON RECORD PLAYER]

Emoxin.

Naloxone. Naloxone. Okay.

Naloxone.

[OBJECTS RATTLING]

Oh, shit.

Day, day, day, daytime.

Samson!

Samson.

Shit.

So is it him?

Is that actually Old Nick?

Is that actually Old Nick?

Is that actually Old Nick?

Is it?

Aye, it is.

- It is? - JIMMY: Yep.

- That is Old Nick. - [CHUCKLES] Holy fucking shit.

Unholy fucking shit.

JIMMY SNAKE: Nice one, Jimmy.

JIMMY JONES: But did you know

your dad was going to be here, sir?

You were leading us here all along?

Yes, Jimmy, I was.

I mean, I didn't know he was here,

in this, uh... this... this castle.

It's a surprise.

But...

he's got a few...

dotted around his kingdom.

A couple in the Highlands. Very nice.

This one must be new.

Which is why I didn't know about it already.

JIMMY INK: That looks like it's been here a while.

Aye. It does look pretty old.

New, as in, the last five or ten years,

which is not long in architectural terms.

So we gonna go down there?

Go and meet him?

No!

Not until I've spoken to him first.

He may not want visitors.

One thing I can tell you about Old Nick is

you do not want to catch him on a bad day.

You guys stay put.

I'll square it with him.

Be back soon.

[TRAIN CHUGGING, STOPS]

[LEAVES RUSTLING]

[TRAIN CHUGGING]

[CHUGGING STOPS]

[WHOOSHING]

[TRAIN HORN BLARES, FADES]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[CROW CAWING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES]

JIMMY: Hello.

Hello.

So...

Are you Old Nick?

Old Nick?

JIMMY: Yes.

Um... Um, no.

You're not Old Nick.

I'm not Old Nick.

I don't know any Old Nick.

Everybody knows Old Nick.

Well, I honestly don't. I...

I'm called Ian.

Ian.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm totally sure.

Because Old Nick is known for being a little tricksy.

- Playing games, so to speak. - Oh, wait.

When you say Old Nick...

you mean Satan?

Of course I fucking do.

So, why would you think that I was...

Oh, you... My skin color and...

the bones.

Well, you can relax.

I'm not Satan.

I am Dr. Ian Kelson.

Doctor?

Who are all these poor fuckers then?

Your patients? [LAUGHS]

This is an ossuary.

It's a memorial to the dead.

It's like a graveyard.

[SIGHS] And your skin is orange because...

It's iodine.

It kills the virus.

- Virus? - That causes infection.

Doctor.

Atheist doctor.

Okay.

So, you believe all this zombie shite

was caused by science and bugs and whatnot.

Rather than?

Uh, Old Nick...

unleashing his wrath upon the world of man.

I see. So...

I'm an atheist, and you're...

you're a Satanist.

[CHUCKLES] Well, there it is.

Mystery solved. [LAUGHS]

I'll be honest, I didn't know

what the fuck was going on just now.

I'm sweating.

I thought I was about to meet my father.

So, is this all your doing, Ian?

It is.

Got to tell you, I'm a fan of your work.

It's fuckin' knockout.

Thank you. But what was that you said just now?

You believed you were about to meet your father?

Aye. Heart was pounding out my fucking chest.

Because your father is Satan.

Yep.

Old Nick's my old man.

But, uh...

Nah, never mind.

I don't mind talking.

Ah, fuck it.

[SCOFFS]

Just, I don't actually know my father too well.

I mean, he speaks to me often enough,

but I never get to sit with him or see him.

You speak to him, but you don't see him.

Oh, you hear him in your head.

Whole fucking time, Ian.

Mm-hmm.

I'm Jimmy.

Jimmy.

Actually, Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal.

But no, you're good.

Uh, Jimmy's fine.

Let's sit, Ian.

I've got my peeps waiting for me not too far away,

but they can sit tight.

No rush.

Let's just talk a wee while.

- [JIMMY SNAKE GRUNTS] - JIMMY FOX: This is worse.

Stomach. Neck.

JIMMY SNAKE: Get the fuck off me.

- Those were... One more time. - JIMMY FOX: Is that going in?

JIMMY SNAKE: One more time, come on.

JIMMY FOX: Yeah.

Stab. Stab.

JIMMY SNAKE: That's all you've got?

JIMMY FOX: What? That's what I...

JIMMY SNAKE: That's all you've got?

- Come on. - SPIKE: Jimmy?

What if it's not really Old Nick down there?

Not Old Nick?

SPIKE: Yeah.

[SCOFFS]

Orange skin.

Palace of bones.

Communing with demons.

Who the fuck else is it gonna be?

Just some old man.

A man we should probably stay away from.

I think we should just leave him alone.

- [KNIFE SWISHES] - [JIMMY SNAKE GRUNTS]

[CHUCKLES] Leave him alone?

No.

That's not how we roll, kid.

And that's not some old man.

That's Old Nick.

And how...

strange...

and glorious it will be to meet him.

[JIMMIES LAUGHING]

JIMMY FOX: Shit, didn't mean to touch a nerve.

Nah, that's all right. That's fine.

JIMMY SNAKE: Yeah. JIMMY FOX: Too fucking easy.

No.

The real question is...

Is Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal his son?

Is he even a real Sir-Lord?

What do you mean?

Do you ever get the sense

that Sir Jimmy is full of shite?

Bone castles in the Highlands?

That's bollocks.

Why's he never mentioned 'em before?

And I seen him when he put

the binoculars up to his eyes...

he'd never seen that sight before

in his fucking life.

JIMMY: I was only eight when it all went out of whack.

But a man of your age

must have a few memories from before.

DR. KELSON: Oh, less than you'd think.

I remember details.

Events and people.

But what it was actually like, to live with

shops and fridges

and telephones and personal computers...

I have no real memory of that at all.

That said, I do remember

there was a sense of certainty.

The world had an order.

A way about it.

There were dramas and upheavals, inevitably.

But the foundations...

They seemed unshakeable.

I remember church most of all.

But that's 'cause we lived next to it.

And when the demons came, that's where I hid.

You lived in the house next to the church?

Right next to it.

Was it the rectory?

Yeah.

And your father was the vicar.

If my mother and sisters had hid in the church,

they'd have been all right...

but they stayed at home...

and got their heads caved in.

What about your father?

He was leading the infected, Ian.

He was leading the demons on the charge.

A great army, with him at the fore.

Always said, "charity starts at home."

[LAUGHS]

And that was the last time you saw him.

Yeah.

Then I saw you and...

I'm in a bit of bind, Ian.

Why is that?

The others. My peeps.

I told them that you were Old Nick, but you aren't,

and now they're expecting to meet you.

I see.

And you're in a bit of a bind, too.

How so?

Because if you can't help me with my problem,

I'm going to force-feed you your own intestines

until you can no longer breathe.

Yes, that is a bind.

I like you.

- You're easy to talk to. - Mm.

Not sure I've ever liked anyone before.

Thank you.

So, do you think there's an arrangement

to be made here, Ian?

[SNIFFS]

They say the devil's always up for making a deal.

JIMMY: At nightfall tomorrow,

Old Nick will grant us an audience.

But there are rules thee must obey

when in the company of the Dark Lord,

as you must expect.

Nobody may touch him

lest they be struck down by flame

and their souls be delivered to the seventh circle.

Howzat.

FINGERS: Howzat.

And nobody may address him directly.

Only I may speak to him.

His favored son and heir.

Are we crystal?

Howzat.

FINGERS: Howzat.

DR. KELSON: Memento mori, I told the boy.

I haven't feared my life ending for many years.

I live alone.

My work is complete.

But today...

I did feel fear.

And I thought,

what will happen to Samson if I'm gone?

They're coming back tomorrow.

So I want to try something tonight.

I'd planned for it to be gradual...

but events have conspired, so...

a leap into the unknown.

I've been developing an idea

about the nature of the infection.

We know there is a physical component.

Hemorrhage and uncontrolled cell growth.

And we know there is a...

sensory component,

pain and terrible disquiet,

which the morphine silences.

But what if there is a...

psychiatric component too?

When the infected attack,

what do they see?

What do they think they're attacking?

I've seen them kill children and babies.

A baby gives no reason to hurt it.

So they, you, must be seeing something that isn't there.

Seeing something that isn't there.

A doctor would call that psychosis.

And a doctor would say that psychosis can be treated.

I'm a doctor, Samson.

I'd like to try treating the psychosis.

I'm going to ask you to swallow these tablets.

[QUIET SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[PANTING]

[SNARLING]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[SNARLING]

[GRUNTING]

JIMMY JIMMY: Where did you think you were going?

SPIKE: No, Jimmy, I was just... I was just...

No. You were trying to nip away.

No. No, Jimmy. Jimmy, no.

- Shush. - [WHIMPERING]

You know that lad you stabbed in the leg

was my best fuckin' mate!

And you took him away

with your cowardice and dumb luck.

So now, in honor of his passing,

I think it's only fitting

if I slide this blade slowly into your...

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS, CHOKES]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

JIMMY INK: Where the fuck did you think you were gonna go?

Anywhere. Anywhere is better than here.

I've been to anywhere.

It's not.

You need to stick with me, kid.

We'll go far.

He was "trying to escape"?

He said he was too scared to meet Old Nick in person.

He couldn't face it.

I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't have it.

He tried to fight me.

I had to kill him.

That's not what happened.

That is what happened.

Sir.

JIMMY: Now, let's see what Old Nick says tonight.

DR. KELSON: Samson!

Samson!

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Did it work, my friend?

Were you lost...

and now are found?

[GRUNTING SOFTLY]

[CHILDREN LAUGH FAINTLY]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[CHILDREN LAUGH FAINTLY]

- [LEAVES RUSTLING] - [WIND BLOWING]

[HORN HONKS FAINTLY]

[LOW RUMBLING OF ENGINE]

[FAINT CHIME]

[MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY]

[GRUNTS]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

- [INFECTED GROWLS IN DISTANCE] - [GASPS]

[TRAIN HORN BLARES FAINTLY]

[INSECTS TRILLING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[FAINT CHIME]

[FAINT INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT]

[PANTING]

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[TRAIN PA CHIMES]

ANNOUNCER ON PA: Good afternoon,

and welcome on board this service to Edinburgh.

But you can't stop doing that...

- Our next stop... - ...with her talent.

...will be Retford. Please remember

to take all your belongings...

MAN: I don't think it's hard.

...with you, and place any rubbish...

- MAN: Part of the politics. - ...into the bins provided.

Ticket barriers are in operation,

so please keep your tickets ready.

CONDUCTOR: Ticket, please.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Thank you.

Ticket, please.

Ticket, love?

[CHATTER STOPS]

Ticket!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[ALL SNARLING]

Uh, I don't have a ticket.

[SNARLING]

[SHOUTS]

[SHOUTS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

- [SNARLING] - [GRUNTING]

[INFECTED SNARLING]

[SHOUTING]

[GRUNTS]

[SHOUTS]

[SHOUTING]

[SNARLING]

[SHOUTING]

[SNARLING]

[SAMSON SHOUTING]

[SNARLING]

[SAMSON SHOUTS]

[SIGHS] Okay.

Let's turn this up to 11.

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC TEMPO INCREASES]

[FIRE BURSTS, WHOOSHES]

[MUSIC FADES]

JIMMY INK: Whoa.

He awaits us, Jimmies.

Howzat.

[UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING]

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

[LANTERNS SQUEAKING]

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

MAN ON RECORD PLAYER: ♪ Woe to you

♪ O'er Earth and Sea

♪ For the Devil sends The beast with wrath

♪ Because he knows The time is short

♪ Let him Who hath understanding

♪ Reckon the number Of the beast

♪ For it is a human number

♪ Its number

♪ Is 666

[ THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST BY IRON MAIDEN PLAYING]

[SINGING ALONG] ♪ I left alone

♪ My mind was blank

♪ I needed time to think

♪ To get the memories From my mind

♪ What did I see?

♪ Can I believe

♪ That what I saw that night

♪ Was real And not just fantasy?

♪ 'Cause in my dreams

♪ It's always there

♪ The evil face That twists my mind

♪ And brings me to despair

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

♪ Night was black

♪ Was no use holding back

♪ 'Cause I just had to see

♪ Was someone watching me?

♪ In the mist

♪ Dark figures Move and twist

♪ Was all this for real

♪ Or just some kind of hell?

♪ 666

♪ The number of the beast

♪ Sacrifice

♪ Is going on tonight

[ THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST CONTINUES PLAYING]

[SHOUTS]

♪ I'm coming back

♪ I will return

♪ And I'll possess your body

[JIMMY WHOOPS]

♪ And I'll make you burn

[YELLING]

♪ I have the fire

[WHOOPING]

♪ I have the force

♪ I have the power

♪ To make my evil Take its course

♪ 666

♪ The number of the beast

♪ Sacrifice

♪ Is going on tonight ♪

Yes!

[ THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST CONTINUES PLAYING]

[YELLING]

[SONG OUTRO PLAYING]

[FIRE WHOOSHING RHYTHMICALLY ALONG TO OUTRO]

[WHOOPING]

[SONG ENDS]

[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]

[JIMMY LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY]

Howzat?

[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]

DR. KELSON: Fingers?

Fingers...

approach.

Approach.

Behold, you...

are the fingers of my right hand.

Your dark radiance blackens even sunlight.

Pride moves inside me

like maggots in the corpse of Christ.

Kneel.

Not you, my son.

You must stand.

[SMACKS LIPS]

We are grateful for this audience, Father.

My time is eternal.

But your time with me is short.

We understand, Great One.

We shall not outstay our welcome.

Uh, but before we leave,

do you have any specific instruction for us?

I do.

Please, do tell.

I command you to continue with your infernal mission.

Continue our infernal mission.

Continue skinning and disemboweling

the mewling souls of your kingdom.

Defiling their bodies,

making their agony into sacrament,

making their screams echo into the skies.

That is your command, Father?

Yes.

JIMMY: And what other commandments do you have?

That the fingers must always obey you, my son.

Obey me. Your son.

Without any question or doubt.

Submit always and immediately to my will,

without any trace of pause or insolence.

Without any fucking backchat.

And what is your final commandment, my king?

Father, what is your final commandment?

You are to grow the number of your fingers.

Grow the fingers from a fist...

into two fists.

And then five! And then 100.

And then 1,000!

So that no community in Hell's kingdom

can be guarded against our charity!

[BREATH TREMBLING]

Father, we hear you, and shall obey.

Rise, Jimmies.

We now take our leave.

[BREATH TREMBLING]

Wait.

- Wait? - DR. KELSON: Wait.

Spike?

I have one more command.

One more command? Nope. No, Father.

I don't think so. Uh...

Continue our work, grow stronger, obey me.

I'm pretty sure that was it.

No. There is one more.

Really?

And what would that new command be, precisely?

I require...

a sacrifice.

A... A sacrifice?

Of whom?

You remember the church, my only son.

Yes.

Then you remember Christ.

God's only son.

JIMMY: Uh-huh.

And you know that in order...

for God's only son

to ascend

and take his place by his father's side...

Christ...

was first required to be crucified.

You are my only son, Jimmy.

Jimmy, Jimmy...

I am your God.

I require the same.

You require me to be crucified?

Yes.

And who's gonna bang me onto that cross?

They are.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, no.

You fiend.

You properly turned the tables around on me.

Slow down, Jimmy Ink!

I know you're itching to make your move.

But before you do, one question.

D'you really think this gangly old fucker is Satan?

And if he is...

could I do this?

- [DR. KELSON GROANS] - [GASPS]

- [CHUCKLING] - [DR. KELSON GROANING]

- Ha! - SPIKE: Kelson.

- [DR. KELSON GROANS] - Kelson.

[STUTTERS] I don't understand. What the fuck is going on?

- Who's the devil? - I am, Jimmy.

Me.

Now, commandeer this treacherous cunt.

- But... - Fucking no "but"!

Do it! Now! Or I'll break your fucking neck!

- [GRUNTS] - [GROANS]

- No! - Jimmy, don't do it.

- No! - [GRUNTING]

[JIMMY GROANS]

[SPIKE BREATHING HEAVILY]

[JIMMY GROANS]

[JIMMY INK GRUNTS]

Howzat?

[DR. KELSON BREATHES LABORIOUSLY]

[SPIKE PANTING]

Kelson...

[SOBBING, SNIFFLES]

- I'm sorry. - It's okay, Spike.

It's okay.

Wait, you two know each other?

DR. KELSON: [WEAKLY] Yes.

You're not Old Nick.

No.

Nothing is...

No one is.

There's just us.

[SNIFFLES, SOBS]

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

You put on a good show.

Thank you.

I don't mean to make your night any worse,

but I don't think you're gonna survive that.

DR. KELSON: I know.

Why didn't you just let well leave? [BREATH TREMBLING]

We were going. [SNIFFLES]

You would've been all right.

Suddenly, I saw it was you

behind the mask, Spike.

And I...

I think you've suffered enough.

Old Nick or not,

there's still one last thing I could do for ya.

Obey that last command.

[HAMMERING]

[JIMMY GROANING IN PAIN]

[JIMMY WAILING IN PAIN]

[SPIKE SNIFFLES]

Spike, is it?

Kellie.

Come on. Let's get the fuck out of here.

[SPIKE SNIFFLES]

[CRYING]

[SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES]

[GROANING WEAKLY]

[TEARFULLY] I can't hear his voice anymore.

Ian.

Why can't I hear his voice?

[JIMMY SOBS]

[DISQUIETING MUSIC PLAYING]

[JIMMY'S BREATH SHUDDERING]

[JIMMY GURGLING]

I want my mum. [CRYING]

Oh, God.

DR. KELSON: [FAINTLY] Over here.

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[BREATHING LABORIOUSLY]

SAMSON: Kelson.

Samson.

Thank you.

Memento mori.

[WHEEZES]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

[SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES]

[GRUNTS]

[BREATHES LABORIOUSLY]

JIMMY: [CRYING] Father!

Father.

Father? [SOBBING]

Father...

why have you forsaken me?

Why have you forsaken me?

Father.

[CONTINUES SOBBING]

[SNARLS]

- [SHEEP BLEATING] - [BIRDS CHIRPING]

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

[INSECTS BUZZING]

[KETTLE WHISTLING]

[KETTLE WHISTLING STOPS]

JIM: In the Second World War,

instead of bankrupting Germany,

the world helped it rebuild. Likewise, Japan.

So within a generation,

they had recovered into economies

that outstripped most of their victors.

SAM: And that was fair?

Sam, think.

It's better than fair. It's desirable.

Why help your defeated enemy?

Because the enforced bankruptcy

of the enemy after World War I

was the reason

for World War II.

'48, Churchill.

SAM: Uh, "Those who forget history

"are doomed to repeat it."

Wait, say again?

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."

Yes. Very good.

So...

then this becomes a kind of a cornerstone

of European post-war political philosophy.

To never forget. To...

To make it the ideas that go bankrupt.

Fascism, nationalism, populism, totally dismantled.

Never to return.

So how does that apply

to the economic landscape of post-Soviet Russia?

Well, Sam, I'm just saying that

if that were to come up in the exam tomorrow...

you might get marked higher

if you use the Weimar Republic as a reference.

If it comes up in the exam?

Dad, you're setting the exam.

I'm saying no more.

[FAINT GROWLING IN DISTANCE]

What was that?

What?

Listen.

[GROWLING IN DISTANCE]

Remember what to do?

Yeah.

There.

SAM: Oh, shit. JIM: What is it?

SAM: They're chasing someone. Two people.

Here, here, here.

SAM: Do we help them?

Dad? Do we help them?

Of course we do.

Okay, let's go, let's go.

[SOMBER ROCK INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]