Original subtitles

- THE SUN ALWAYS SHINES IN BEVERLY HILLS,

BUT NOT ON EVERYONE.

- EVERYTHING MIGHT LOOK PERFECT, BUT IT'S NOT.

IT'S A LAND OF MAKE-BELIEVE.

- THIS TOWN RUNS ON STATUS.

STATUS CAN COME FROM MONEY,

CONNECTIONS, FAME, OR EVEN LOOKS.

- YOU COULD BE THE TOAST OF THE TOWN ONE DAY

AND A NOBODY THE NEXT.

IT CAN ALL GO AWAY IN AN INSTANT.

- BUT IF YOU CAN PLAY THE GAME,

THERE'S NOWHERE BETTER TO LIVE.

[upbeat music]

- IT MAY LOOK LIKE I HAVE IT ALL,

BUT I WANT MORE.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS, IT'S WHO YOU KNOW,

AND I KNOW EVERYONE.

- MONEY IS WHAT I HAVE, NOT WHO I AM.

- I WAS A CHILD STAR, BUT NOW MY MOST IMPORTANT ROLE

IS BEING A MOTHER.

- IN A TOWN FULL OF PHONIES,

I'M NOT AFRAID TO BE REAL.

- IT'S TIME FOR ME TO COME OUT OF MY HUSBAND'S SHADOW

AND SHINE.

- BREAKFAST.

MY NAME'S LISA VANDERPUMP.

GOOD BOY.

DO YOU WANT A DRINKIE FIRST?

AND I LIVE IN A GATED COMMUNITY IN BEVERLY HILLS.

I LOVE LIVING HERE.

I MEAN, IT REALLY IS LIKE A FANTASY LAND.

I JUST LOVE THIS HOUSE AND IT'S SO ROMANTIC

AND IT'S KIND OF DESIGNED LIKE A FRENCH CHATEAU.

I JUST THINK THERE'S EVERYTHING YOU NEED HERE.

YOU CAN LITERALLY LIVE HERE AND NOT GO ANYWHERE ELSE.

KEN? - YES?

- DARLING?

KEN?

- YEAH? - WHERE ARE YOU?

- I'M IN THE SITTING ROOM.

- LET'S GO FIND DADDY.

I MARRIED KEN TODD WHEN I WAS 21.

MY HUSBAND CALLS ME A SEX OBJECT.

HE SAYS EVERY TIME HE WANTS SEX, I OBJECT.

- THANKS A LOT.

- I SAY TO HIM, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

"CHRISTMAS AND BIRTHDAYS,

"AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, NOT MINE.

THAT'S ANOTHER DAY OFF."

- SHE IS A VERY FUNNY PERSON.

- [chuckles]

I HAVE TWO CHILDREN.

PANDORA'S 24.

MAX IS 18.

THEY'VE FLED THE NEST,

SO THEY'VE LEFT ME WITH A BIG OLD EMPTY HOUSE,

SO I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO FILL IT

WITH MY LITTLE FURRY FRIENDS.

THIS IS JIGGY WHO GOES EVERYWHERE WITH ME.

GIVE ME A KISS, JIGGY.

MWAH.

[dog barks]

- MY TWO...

PIKACHU AND LOLLIPOP.

THEY ARE MY LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS.

- I'M NOT DOING-- TELL ME WHEN YOU'RE READY.

- WE SHOULD AT LEAST DO WEIGHT.

IT'S A BIT MORE MANLY THAN JUST DOING THIS.

- STOP TRYING TO BE SUCH A MAN.

KEN AND I HAVE 26 RESTAURANTS, BARS, CLUBS.

WE USED TO HAVE A GAY CLUB IN LONDON CALLED THE SHADOW LOUNGE.

THE FRONT GUY WAS CEDRIC.

- DID YOU SEE MY PHOTOS, BY THE WAY?

- I LIKE THE HEADSHOTS. I THOUGHT THEY WERE GREAT.

- MY EYES ARE AMAZING.

HAVE YOU NOTICED A DIFFERENCE?

- YEAH.

HE USED TO KIND OF BE THE--

YOU KNOW, THE BEAUTIFUL FACE ON THE DOOR.

YEAH, NO, YOUR EYES DO LOOK GOOD.

- WHAT ELSE IS GOOD? GIVE ME COMPLIMENTS.

YOU KNOW I LIKE IT. - THAT'S IT.

THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT'S GOOD.

[laughter]

BUT HE DID KIND OF START

TO JUST MERGE WITH OUR FAMILY.

- I JUST HOPE HE REALLY IS GAY,

BECAUSE HE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME WITH MY WIFE.

IF HE WASN'T GAY, I WOULD BE VERY ANNOYED.

- CEDRIC WAS LIVING IN LONDON WHEN WE MOVED TO L.A.

WE TRIED TO GET AWAY FROM HIM,

BUT HE FOLLOWED US OVER HERE.

- KEN AND LISA HAVE TRIED TO SORT OF LOSE ME

ON THEIR WAY.

THEY MOVED FROM THREE DIFFERENT CONTINENTS

AND I STILL FOUND THEM.

- I SAID HE COULD STAY WITH US FOR--

WELL, UNTIL HE GOT SORTED.

HE'S LIVED WITH US FOR A YEAR,

9 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS, 2 DAYS, AND 14 HOURS.

- AT THE MOMENT, I'M OKAY HERE.

AND I THINK I'LL STAY FOR A BIT.

- YOU'RE LIVING HERE FOR TWO YEARS?

- I'M NEVER LEAVING.

- OH, YES, YOU ARE.

- NEVER. - YES, YOU ARE.

[dog barks]

- MY NAME IS ADRIENNE MALOOF...

PAUL!

AND I LIVE ACROSS THE STREET FROM LISA.

I GREW UP BEING VERY INDEPENDENT.

OF COURSE, WITH ALL BROTHERS, I HAD TO BE.

I'M PART OF THE MALOOF COMPANIES,

WHICH IS A VERY DIVERSIFIED FAMILY BUSINESS.

OUR FAMILY BUSINESS CONSISTS OF AN NBA BASKETBALL TEAM,

THE SACRAMENTO KINGS...

THE PALMS CASINO IN LAS VEGAS...

WE'RE IN THE SKATEBOARDING BUSINESS.

- ♪♪ DO NOT SAY GOOD-BYE ♪♪

- WE'RE IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS,

PARTNERS WITH INTERSCOPE RECORDS.

MY FATHER INSTILLED IN US A WORK ETHIC THAT

IT'S WONDERFUL TO HAVE MONEY, BUT YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT.

WE'VE BEEN HARD WORKERS OUR WHOLE LIFE.

- THAT HAND UP. ONE.

- HEY. HA HA HA!

- MISS VEGAS IS BACK. - MIKE!

I'M MARRIED TO A PLASTIC SURGEON.

HIS NAME IS PAUL NASSIF.

I JUST SAW THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

- COME ON.

- CAN I KISS YOU HELLO OR AM I TOO SWEATY FOR YOU?

- NO. OOH.

- [indistinct]

- UGH. YOU SMELL.

UM, CHECK THAT OUT.

- WOW. - WOW.

GEORGE MALOOF AND THE MALOOF FAMILY.

- PAUL IS NOT INVOLVED IN THE MALOOF COMPANIES AT ALL.

PAUL AND I KEEP EVERYTHING SEPARATE.

- AND A $1 MILLION FUNDRAISER FOR THE DNC.

- GUESS WHO DIDN'T GO.

- OH, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT, PAUL?

- SHE'S A DEMOCRAT. - WHO CARES?

- I'M A REPUBLICAN.

- LISTEN.

THE FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN PRESIDENT.

THAT IS HISTORY.

OUR CHILDREN WILL BE READING THIS

AND HE DOESN'T GO.

- IF I EVER DO MY THING,

WOULD YOU GO? - YES.

- YOU NEVER WENT WITH ME ON MANY THINGS.

- LISTEN. I MAY HAVE NOT AGREED WITH

THE LAST PRESIDENT AND HIS POLICIES--

- WELL, SAME THING HERE. - LET ME FINISH.

BUT GUESS WHAT.

I RESPECT HIM AS THE LEADER OF OUR COUNTRY.

- WELL, OF COURSE.

I'M SURE HE'S VERY CHARISMATIC.

- SO AS THE LEADER OF OUR COUNTRY,

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU WENT.

- WE'RE BOTH TYPE "A" PERSONALITIES,

SO THE TWO TYPE "A" PERSONALITY

IS OBVIOUSLY ONCE IN A WHILE GONNA DO THIS.

I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF WORKING OUT RIGHT NOW AND--

- OKAY, WELL, I'M NOT-- - [indistinct]

- NO, HE WON'T DO A TAKEDOWN. HIM?

I TRIED ONE ON HIM. DID HE TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

- SHE RUINED MY BACK FOR TWO WEEKS.

SHE'S THE MOST POWERFUL PETITE WOMAN

I'VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

- SO LET'S JUST SAY SOMEBODY APPROACHES ME

AND THEY'RE GRABBING MY ARM. - ALL RIGHT.

- I WOULD DO THIS.

SEE THAT?

I WOULD SAY I HAVE A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS

AND A LOT OF ACQUAINTANCES.

- UM, I'LL HAVE A THREE-SHOT LATTE.

- GIRL?

GROWING UP IN EXTREME WEALTH,

YOU HAVE TO SOMETIMES BE CAREFUL.

I CHOOSE WISELY WHO MY FRIENDS ARE.

I WAS THINKING ABOUT INVITING SOME OF MY FRIENDS--

AND OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO COME--

TO THE LAST GAME OF THE KINGS NBA SEASON,

WHICH WE PLAY THE LAKERS.

I'VE KNOWN TAYLOR FOR THREE YEARS.

OUR CHILDREN GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER

AND THAT'S HOW I ORIGINALLY MET HER.

I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE A KINGS FAN.

- OF COURSE I'M GONNA BE A KINGS FAN.

YOU KNOW, I'M LOYAL, BABY.

- I KNOW.

- ADRIENNE IS A GODMOTHER OF MY DAUGHTER KENNEDY.

- SO I THOUGHT YOU, LISA, MYSELF.

AND, YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK YOU'VE MET CAMILLE YET.

CAMILLE GRAMMER.

- NO, BUT I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT HER.

SHE SOUNDS LOVELY. - YEAH.

- I'M SURE WE'LL HAVE A GOOD TIME.

- OH, A BLAST. ARE YOU KIDDING?

- MY NAME IS CAMILLE GRAMMER.

I'M A DANCER AND I HAVE BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE.

I USED TO DANCE ON CLUB MTV.

DANCE, FOR ME, IS FREEDOM.

IT'S HOW I EXPRESS MYSELF.

A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THEY KNOW ME,

'CAUSE I'M MARRIED TO A CELEBRITY, BUT THEY DON'T.

HEY. GIVE ME A HUG.

MMM. I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

I'M A MOTHER OF TWO.

THIS IS GONNA SOUND CRAZY AND DON'T JUDGE ME.

NO, I HAVE FOUR NANNIES AND THEY ROTATE.

- THERE'S TWO SETS OF NANNIES. TWO FOR EACH CHILD.

- NOT ONLY DO WE TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS HERE,

WE TRAVEL WITH THEM ALL OVER THE PLACE.

- A TYPICAL DAY IS BASICALLY, YOU KNOW,

WAKING UP WITH THE KIDS AND, UM,

GETTING THEM READY FOR SCHOOL.

- AND THEN TAKE HIM TO HIS VARIOUS

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES.

- AND JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY HIRES NANNIES,

THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE NOT A GOOD MOTHER

AND THEY'RE NOT THERE FOR THEIR CHILDREN.

I'M HERE ALL THE TIME FOR MY CHILDREN.

SO HOW'S YOUR BROTHER? - OKAY.

- HOW'S JUDE--OKAY?

HEY, ASH, HOW'S JUDE FEELING?

- HE SEEMED ALL RIGHT. - IS HE DOING BETTER?

- YEAH, HE'S DOING OKAY NOW. - THAT'S GREAT.

- YEAH.

- I FEEL LIKE I LIVE IN MY OWN PRIVATE RETREAT.

17 ACRES TOTAL.

IT'S BASICALLY A SMALL PARK WITH A, YOU KNOW, POND.

WE HAVE A POOL.

A TENNIS COURT.

UM, WE HAD HORSES. NO LONGER.

- DAD!

- HI, HONEY.

- UM, YEAH, I'M MARRIED TO KELSEY GRAMMER AND,

YES, HE'S AN ACTOR AND A CHARACTER.

- HEY, BUDDY. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- DO IT. DO IT!

- I'VE SPENT 13 YEARS MARRIED TO CAMILLE.

SHE HAS TAKEN A, UH--

WHAT YOU MIGHT SAY A BACKSEAT TO MY LIFE.

I THINK IT'S TIME FOR CAMILLE TO--

TO GET A LITTLE ATTENTION.

- AHH!

- [chuckles]

YES, BIG JOE. HUH, WHO'S ROMEO JOE?

GOOD BOY. ALL RIGHT.

LEAVING THE FAMILY IS NEVER EASY.

IT'S JUST SOMETIMES THERE ARE THINGS THAT CALL US AWAY.

WE HAVE TO DO IT.

- WHY DON'T I START GRABBING SOME SHIRTS

OUT OF THE CLOSET FOR YOU?

- ALL RIGHT, SURE. - OKAY.

- THANKS.

GET THE SHIRTS THAT MAKE ME LOOK REALLY GAY.

- THE ONES THAT MAKE YOU LOOK GAY?

IS THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING A GAY SHOW?

- I GOT A CALL MENTIONING LA CAGE AUX FOLLES

AND IT SEEMED TO ME LIKE THIS WAS REALLY A GREAT IDEA

AND A GREAT OPPORTUNITY AND CERTAINLY

THE RIGHT ROLE TO GO PLAY IN NEW YORK.

- WHAT DO I DO WHEN THE KIDS START GETTING ALL CRAZY?

JUST SAY, "DAD"?

- TELL 'EM YOU'RE GONNA TELL THEIR FATHER.

- OKAY.

I LOVE YOU.

BE SAFE.

I'M USED TO HIM GOING AWAY FOR TWO WEEKS

AT THE MOST, BUT NOT A WHOLE YEAR.

- BYE, BABE!

- BYE!

- GOOD-BYE-BYE!

- BYE!

BUT I FEEL THAT THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY

FOR ME TO SHOW THAT I AM MY OWN PERSON.

- COMING UP ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES...

- WHAT IF I WANT TO-- - WE'VE LOOKED AT EVERYTHING.

THERE'S NOTHING OUT. - ANOTHER WHAT?

SHE ALL OF A SUDDEN THROWS AT ME THAT,

YOU KNOW, "MAYBE I'LL HAVE ANOTHER BABY."

DON'T NEED A HUSBAND FIRST?

- MY NAME'S TAYLOR ARMSTRONG.

I GREW UP IN OKLAHOMA,

YOU KNOW, IN A NORMAL MIDDLE-CLASS FAMILY.

I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEELING INSIDE OF ME SINCE I WAS SMALL

THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING REALLY BIG FOR ME IN MY LIFE.

I WAS ALMOST ENVIOUS IN SOME RESPECTS

OF PEOPLE WHO WERE CONTENT IN LIVING

THE MIDDLE-CLASS LIFESTYLE THAT THEY HAD.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH EASIER NOT TO HAVE

SUCH ENORMOUS ASPIRATIONS.

IT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE.

- HI, HONEY. - HI.

SO WE READY TO HAVE FUN?

OKAY, THIS, UNFORTUNATELY, HAS TO MOVE.

CAN YOU PUT THAT--

- SEE? ALREADY DIRECTING.

OKAY. - JUST PUT THAT OVER THERE.

PLEASE. PLEASE.

- TAYLOR HAD WANTED TO GET SOME FILLER DONE

ON THE SIDE OF HER TEMPLES,

SO SHE WENT TO MY HUSBAND.

I THOUGHT THAT THAT PROCEDURE PROBABLY DIDN'T NEED

TO BE DONE ON TAYLOR.

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?

- WHAT?

- THAT?

- THAT'S LIDOCAINE.

- I KNOW THE SURPRISE ON MY FACE WAS,

LIKE, THAT OF TERROR.

- THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

- I'M STARTING TO SWEAT.

- NO, IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE, ADRIENNE.

- ALL RIGHT.

I WAS A LITTLE SHOCKED.

AND THAT WAS ONLY THE SECOND TIME HE HAD DONE THAT.

- BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ARE A DIME A DOZEN AROUND HERE,

ESPECIALLY 20-YEAR-OLD BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.

AND MY HUSBAND IS MASCULINE.

THERE'S NO BLURRING THAT ISSUE.

OH, MY GOODNESS. HELP ME.

LIKE, "OH, LORD, HE'S GONNA LEAVE ME FOR A 20-YEAR-OLD."

VERY PRETTY.

I AM MARRIED TO RUSSELL ARMSTRONG.

HE'S A VENTURE CAPITALIST AND INVESTMENT BANKER.

- SO WHAT'S THE LATEST WITH YOUR LITTLE COMPANY?

- I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU WOULDN'T CALL MY COMPANY LITTLE.

MY CURRENT BUSINESS IS HIGH-LEVEL MANAGEMENT CONSULTING

AND I DON'T WANT TO PUT MYSELF IN A POSITION

WHERE I DON'T HAVE THE ABILITY TO CARE FOR MYSELF

IN THE EVENT THAT ONE OF THESE DAYS,

YOU KNOW, THE YOUNGER, BETTER THING COMES ALONG

AND--AND-- YOU KNOW, THINGS HAPPEN.

- BY THE WAY,

HEATHER'S GONNA BE IN TOWN NEXT WEEK.

- I JUST READ ONLINE THAT YOU PUT $10 MILLION

INTO HER PHONE COMPANY.

I LOVE HOW I'M GETTING THE FORBES MAGAZINE

PRESS RELEASE THAT YOU INVESTED $10 MILLION.

- I KNOW IT'S VERY RISKY,

BUT I'M ACTUALLY VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT.

- I WOULD SAY OUR MARRIAGE IS ABOUT 80% BUSINESS

AND 20% ROMANCE.

BUT THAT'S SOMETHING I SIGNED UP FOR.

- DID YOU GUYS WANT TO USE BUBBLE WRAP OR--

- I HEARD EVERYBODY LOVED THAT MOVIE.

- WHAT?

- ARE YOU GONNA SIT THERE OR ARE YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING?

I'M KIM RICHARDS AND I'M A SINGLE MOM.

I HAVE FOUR KIDS.

THREE FROM TWO MARRIAGES AND ONE

FROM A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP.

- STOP. THAT'S MY HAIR.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY. YOU JERK.

- I SHARE CUSTODY WITH MY KIDS' FATHERS,

BUT RIGHT NOW, ALL FOUR ARE HOME WITH ME.

ARE YOU JUST GONNA SIT THERE OR ARE YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING?

- I'M GONNA HELP.

- LOOK AT GRANDMA.

- LET ME SEE. WHAT?

- MY MOM GAVE ME AMAZING ADVICE.

"BE CAREFUL NOT TO MAKE YOUR WHOLE LIFE YOUR KIDS, KIMBERLY.

BECAUSE ONE DAY YOU'LL END UP ALL BY YOURSELF."

SHE CHOSE TO MAKE HER LIFE ALL ABOUT HER KIDS.

I CHOSE TO FOLLOW MY MOM'S FOOTSTEPS.

IT'S A CHOICE I MADE.

- I'M GONNA LOOK THROUGH THESE.

- THAT'S MOM WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE.

- I KNOW.

- SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

- WE'VE SEEN ALL THAT. - DON'T LOOK AT THOSE.

THAT'S JUST MOM WHEN SHE'S LITTLE.

- YEAH, WELL, YOU HAVE SEEN 'EM, LIKE, A THOUSAND TIMES.

- MY CHILDHOOD WAS DIFFERENT THAN THE AVERAGE CHILD.

WHEN WE MOVED TO CALIFORNIA, I HAD ALREADY DONE

SEVERAL COMMERCIALS,

AND BY THE TIME I WAS FOUR,

I WAS ON A TELEVISION SERIES CALLED

NANNY AND THE PROFESSOR.

BY THE TIME I WAS TEN,

I WAS SIGNED TO WALT DISNEY STUDIOS.

I WAS NOT JUST A CHILD ACTRESS.

I WAS, YOU KNOW, THE "DISNEY GIRL."

- WE DON'T KNOW WHY WE DO ALL THESE THINGS.

WE DON'T KNOW HOW IT ALL STARTED.

LOOK AT MY STAND-IN.

HIS NAME WAS ANGELO AND--

- THAT WAS YOUR STAND-IN? - YES.

- WHAT?

- I DID MAGNUM P.I.,

POLICE WOMAN, MEDICAL CENTER, MEDICAL STORY,

CHiPS.

- YOU'RE MAKING IT ALL SOUND SO EASY AND IT'S NOT.

- I KNOW IT'S NOT, BABY.

- PONCH, I'VE HURT SO MANY PEOPLE.

- I WAS QUITE FAMOUS.

THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU.

YOU'VE ALL BEEN SO GOOD TO ME.

I LIKE THIS PICTURE TOO.

I DEFINITELY DIDN'T DO THE SAME THINGS

THAT OTHER TEENAGERS DID.

I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL.

I DIDN'T GET TO, YOU KNOW, BE A BROWNIE

OR A GIRL SCOUT.

I DIDN'T GET TO RIDE ON THE SCHOOL BUS,

BUT I HAD AN AMAZING CAREER.

I'VE HAD MY FAME, AND I GRACEFULLY WALKED AWAY,

AND IN THAT TIME FRAME I BECAME A FULL-TIME MOM.

- WAS THIS WHEN AUNT KATHY HAD--

- PARIS. - THAT'S AUNT KATHY,

AUNT KYLE, AND I, AND PARIS.

I HAVE TWO SISTERS.

MY OLDEST SISTER IS KATHY HILTON.

HER DAUGHTER IS PARIS.

PARIS DECIDED SHE WAS GONNA GO OUT

AND BE SOMETHING FOR HERSELF AND SHE DID.

AND I'D GONE OUT TO DINNER WITH HER

AND AS WE CAME OUT, THEY'RE LIKE,

"KIM! KIM! PARIS! PARIS!"

AND PARIS LOOKED OVER AT ME LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?"

AND I'M LIKE--THEY'RE LIKE, "PARIS, DON'T FORGET.

YOUR AUNT WAS HERE FIRST," AND I WAS LIKE,

"OH, YEAH, HONEY. STEP ASIDE.

DON'T FORGET. I WAS HERE FIRST."

AND SHE WAS LIKE, "AUNT KIM!"

AND THEY'RE LIKE, "PARIS, YOUR AUNT'S AN ICON."

[mumbles] AND SHE'S LIKE, "WAIT.

I'M AN ICON TOO."

THEY'RE LIKE, "YEAH, BUT YOUR AUNT WAS AN ICON FIRST."

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A BIGGER HOME FOR MONTHS,

BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M REALLY UNDER THE GUN.

MY CURRENT LEASE ENDS IN TWO WEEKS

AND I HOPE THAT THIS ONE IS THE ONE.

COME ON, PORTIA.

[sighs]

- OKAY, SO YOU GET TO SEE

THE FULL LAY OF THE LAND WHEN YOU WALK IN,

WHICH IS NICE AND BRIGHT AND OPEN.

A BIG KITCHEN. - THAT'S WHAT I REALLY LOVE.

- BIG KITCHEN. THERE'S A SCREEN THAT GOES

OVER THIS IF IT'S TOO BRIGHT.

- EVEN THOUGH I'M YOUNGER THAN KIM,

I FEEL A SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER.

HER DIVORCE SET HER BACK FINANCIALLY FOR SURE

AND I WORRY ABOUT HER.

- IT'S SO CHARMING AND SO PRETTY,

BUT I NEED MORE BEDROOMS.

- I'M SCARED YOU'RE GONNA END UP, YOU KNOW,

TRYING TO GET FIVE BEDROOMS FOR THE KIDS

AND THEY BOTH MIGHT, YOU KNOW, MOVE OUT.

- BUT I STILL WANT THEM TO HAVE A PLACE

EVEN WHEN THEY DO LEAVE,

TO COME HOME AND SAY, "OH, HERE'S MY SPACE."

- KIM HAS REALLY MADE HER KIDS SO MUCH THE FOCUS OF HER LIFE

THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE A LOT OF GREAT GIRLFRIENDS.

SHE'S VERY ISOLATED.

FOR YOU TO HAVE ALL OF THAT, THAT'S GONNA BE A FORTUNE.

YOU ALSO HAVE TO BE THINKING, YOU KNOW, FOUR KIDS.

YOU'RE PUTTING THEM ALL THROUGH COLLEGE.

KIM HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIG SPENDER.

AS SOON AS SHE TURNED 18 AND GOT THE MONEY

FROM HER MOVIES AND HER TV SHOWS,

THAT DAY, SHE WENT OUT AND BOUGHT A GORGEOUS PORSCHE.

SHE DEFINITELY HAS AN ISSUE WITH SPENDING.

SEEMS PERFECT, RIGHT?

- NO, I LIKE IT.

- BUT?

- KIM'S IN SCHOOL.

IT'S GONNA BE TOO MUCH--

I THINK IT MIGHT BE TOO FAR OUT FOR ME TO MAKE THE DRIVE.

- FIRST, YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WANT TO BE CLOSER TO ME

AND ALL OF US AND THEN YOU TELL ME THAT IT'S TOO FAR

FROM KIMBERLY'S SCHOOL.

I CANNOT KEEP LOOKING LIKE THIS.

I DON'T WANT YOU JUST TO SETTLE.

THIS IS YOUR HOME, WHICH IS YOUR SANCTUARY.

I GET THAT, BUT SERIOUSLY--

WE'VE LOOKED AT EVERYTHING. THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE.

ANOTHER WHAT?

- BABY.

DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.

- YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.

- BABIES BRING SO MUCH JOY TO A HOME.

I MIGHT WANT MY OWN.

AND WHY NOT? I MAKE BEAUTIFUL BABIES.

- OKAY, YOU'VE LOST IT.

THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY.

I'M SORRY.

SHE ALL OF A SUDDEN THROWS AT ME THAT,

YOU KNOW, "MAYBE I'LL HAVE ANOTHER BABY."

DON'T NEED A HUSBAND FIRST?

- COMING UP ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES...

- HOLY [bleep].

- SHE'S LIKE, "OH, MY GOD. LISA! LISA! LISA!"

AND I'M LIKE, "OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE."

[thud] - OH, MY GOD.

- DON'T START WITHOUT ME.

- I'M SORRY. SORRY.

- HEY, GUESS WHAT. - I COULDN'T WAIT ANY LONGER.

- ADRIENNE JUST CALLED.

- ADRIENNE MALOOF? - YEAH.

ADRIENNE AND I, WE'VE LIVED ACROSS THE ROAD

FROM EACH OTHER FOR FIVE YEARS.

SHE'S INTO ALL THIS KIND OF FUNNY KICKBOXING

AND STUFF LIKE THAT, AND SHE GOES,

"HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I CAN TAKE A 200-POUND MAN DOWN."

AND I'M LIKE, "WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?"

SHE INVITED US TO SEE THE SACRAMENTO KINGS

PLAY THE LAKERS.

WHEN ADRIENNE SAYS, "COME WITH ME,"

YOU KNOW, AND SHE'S CHARTERING A JET--

IT'S LIKE, "YOU'RE GOING WITH ADRIENNE?

SAY YES."

WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH JIGGY?

- WELL, DOESN'T ADRIENNE OR HER FAMILY OWN THE KINGS?

- YEAH. - SURELY, THEY HAVE AN ASSISTANT

UP THERE THAT COULD LOOK AFTER HIM.

- WOULD LOOK AFTER HIM DURING THE GAME.

- YEAH, WELL, WHEN WILL WE GO? WHEN IS IT?

- NO, NOT YOU. KYLE AND I.

KYLE'S MY PARTNER IN CRIME.

WE'RE VERY CLOSE.

I ADORE HER.

SHE'S VERY FUNNY. SHE MAKES ME LAUGH.

SHE'S ALSO GOT A HANDBAG FETISH THAT EVERY TIME

SHE FINDS A NEW HANDBAG, SHE ACTS LIKE

SHE'S FOUND THE CURE FOR CANCER.

- GOOD TO GO.

I'M KYLE RICHARDS-UMANSKY.

I GREW UP AS A CHILD ACTRESS.

I STARTED ACTING WHEN I WAS THREE YEARS OLD.

AS MY MOM USED TO SAY, I STARTED VERY LATE,

BECAUSE MY SISTER KIM STARTED AT SIX MONTHS OLD.

HI. - HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

MY FIRST FEATURE FILM, I PLAYED

THE YOUNGER VERSION OF KIM

IN THE MOVIE ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN.

FROM THERE, I WENT ON AND I--

MY FIRST TV SERIES WAS LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE.

- MINE. I'M GONNA NAME HIM "MINE."

- I DID THE ORIGINAL MOVIE HALLOWEEN.

- WHERE ARE YOU?

[screams]

- WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU WATCHED THE MOVIE?

HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED IT AS AN ADULT?

- I HAVE WATCHED IT AS AN ADULT

AND IT IS REALLY SCARY.

I'M BEING INTERVIEWED THIS MORNING

REGARDING THE MOVIE HALLOWEEN.

FIRST DAY ON SET, THEY SAID,

"LET ME HEAR YOU SCREAM."

I WAS A GOOD SCREAMER.

I JUST TAKE LITTLE BREAKS IN BETWEEN CHILDREN.

I WORK, HAVE A BABY.

I WORK AGAIN, I HAVE ANOTHER BABY.

IN THIS MOVIE FRIENDSHIPS, SECRETS, AND LIES,

TINA LOUISE WALKS UP TO ME AND SHE LOOKS AT ME

AND SHE GOES, "YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE!"

ESPECIALLY IF SOMEBODY UPSETS ME IN THIS BUSINESS,

I THINK, "SCREW THEM. I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER BABY."

YOU WANT TO GO WITH SOPHIA AND HELP WITH THE SALAD?

- WAIT. HOW CAN SHE HELP WITH THE SALAD?

- DON'T BE MEAN.

SHE LIKES TO THINK SHE'S HELPING.

SEE? [mouthing silently]

I HAD A VERY DIFFERENT UPBRINGING

THAN I'M GIVING MY CHILDREN.

GO GIVE DADDY HIS--

- IF I HAVE TO START PACKING,

CAN YOU GET A BAG OUT FOR ME FOR WASHINGTON D.C.?

- OH, MY GOD.

SHE'S LEAVING FOR FIVE DAYS.

MY MOM WAS NOT YOUR TYPICAL MOM

AND I DEFINITELY DID NOT HAVE YOUR AVERAGE UPBRINGING.

I DROVE MYSELF TO WORK EVERY DAY.

NOT EXACTLY YOUR TYPICAL 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL.

- IN SIXTH GRADE, WHEN I WAS GOING TO MALIBU FOR A NIGHT--

IT WAS, LIKE, A SLEEPOVER.

SHE SOBBED FOR HOURS.

- FIRST OF ALL--

[laughter]

THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME.

- I DO BELIEVE YOU.

- AND FARRAH WAS LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW GOING--

NO TALKING. NO TALKING.

ANYBODY WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT I AM OBSESSED WITH MY KIDS.

BORDERING ON ABNORMAL, BUT THAT'S OKAY.

MY HUSBAND IS IN REAL ESTATE.

VERY HIGH-END REAL ESTATE.

CRAZY-EXPENSIVE HOMES

ON UPWARDS TO $100+ MILLION.

- WE NEED TO SET THE TABLE.

- ALEXIA DID.

- SHE DID ALREADY? - YEAH.

- KIND OF CHILLY OUTSIDE. I'M GONNA GET A SWEATSHIRT.

- I DON'T WANT TO SIT OUT THERE. IT'S COLD.

- WE'RE NOT SITTING OUTSIDE. WE'RE SITTING IN.

- HE'S COOKING OUTSIDE.

- ONE OF THE ISSUES THAT WE TEND TO HAVE

IS SOMETIMES--IS REALLY JUST SPENDING HABITS.

I DO HOWEVER LIVE BY THE PHILOSOPHY

THAT I'D RATHER BE HAPPY THAN RIGHT.

SOMETIMES I JUST ALLOW HER TO BE RIGHT

EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I'M RIGHT.

- SO ON YOUR OFF TIME, WILL YOU PLEASE,

I BEG YOU, NOT PLAY GOLF?

- IT'S THE PARTNERS MATCH PLAY ON THAT WEEKEND.

- YOU'RE LYING TO ME. - I SWEAR TO GOD.

- I'M VERY FORTUNATE THAT MY HUSBAND IS SUCCESSFUL ENOUGH

THAT I DON'T HAVE TO WORK.

I DO MISS IT SOMETIMES AND I DO WORK OCCASIONALLY,

BUT MOST IMPORTANT THING IS BEING A MOM.

PLAY IN THAT MATCH, I AM GONNA BE DOING

MAJOR DAMAGE SHOPPING.

- SO IF I DON'T PLAY, YOU SPEND NOTHING, ZERO?

- NO, NOT ZERO. - ZERO?

- NO. - LET'S MAKE A DEAL.

FOR EVERY $1,000 YOU SPEND, I PLAY 1 HOUR OF GOLF.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE YOU SHOULD PLAY ONE DAY.

[laughter]

- WHEN YOU FIRST BRING SIX GIRLS TOGETHER

FOR AN EVENT, IT'S A LITTLE SCARY,

BASICALLY 'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW

HOW ALL THE PERSONALITIES ARE ALL GONNA FIT.

BUT, LAKERS, KINGS--

WOW. WHAT A GREAT WAY

FOR A BUNCH OF GIRLS TO BOND.

WE'RE JUST GOING UP FOR THE DAY,

SO I CHARTERED A PRIVATE JET.

JUST MAKES IT A LOT EASIER.

- HOW YOU DOING? ANDRES.

- I INVITED MY SISTER KIM TO SACRAMENTO

WITH THE GIRLS AND I BECAUSE I REALLY WANTED HER

TO GET TO KNOW MY FRIENDS.

WOO-HOO!

- HI, I'M CHRIS.

- I'M FRIENDS WITH ADRIENNE.

SHE WAS MY NEIGHBOR WHEN I LIVED IN BEVERLY HILLS.

- I WASN'T EXACTLY SURE WHAT TO EXPECT, YOU KNOW?

I HADN'T MET ALL THE LADIES, ALTHOUGH WE SEEMED

TO BE CONNECTED ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

THROUGH PEOPLE IN TOWN.

YOU KNOW, BEVERLY HILLS IS A SMALL PLACE

AND WE ALL END UP AT CHARITY EVENTS

OR SOCIAL EVENTS TOGETHER.

- CAN EVERYBODY RAISE THEIR GLASSES, PLEASE?

HERE'S TO A GREAT TRIP TO SACRAMENTO

AND THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.

[overlapping chatter]

AND GO KINGS.

- THAT'S RIGHT. - GO LAKERS.

- HERE'S TO HOPING MY BOOB DOESN'T FALL OUT.

- YES.

- HERE'S TO THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

[laughter]

- I'LL DRINK TO THAT. - I'LL DRINK TO THAT.

- GOD, THIS IS GONNA SOUND SO OBNOXIOUS.

BUT KELSEY AND I HAVE BEEN FLYING PRIVATE FOR YEARS

UNTIL RECENTLY.

NOW WE'RE TAKING MORE COMMERCIAL.

SO, YOU KNOW, WE'RE--WE TRY TO BE GREEN.

- NEVER FLY WITHOUT THIS.

WE ARE ALL SAFE.

- OH, THE BIBLE?

OH, NO. ZOHAR.

- IT'S A JEWISH--KIND OF.

IT'S NOT A TORAH. IT'S A ZOHAR.

VERY DIFFERENT.

I DO FLY PRIVATE A LOT,

BUT I DON'T NECESSARILY ENJOY IT

AS MUCH AS OTHER PEOPLE DO.

WE'RE GOOD.

WOULD YOU STOP?

I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF FLYING.

EVERY TIME I FLY, IT'S LIKE A BIG PRODUCTION.

IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, THIS IS, LIKE, MY LAST MEAL PERHAPS.

IT REALLY IS.

WHY ARE YOU ACTING SCARED?

- JUST HELPING YOU OUT.

TRYING TO IDENTIFY WITH YOU.

FLYING WITH KYLE IS NOT SUCH A GREAT EXPERIENCE.

LOVE HER DEARLY, BUT I'D RATHER MEET HER THERE.

[electronic beeping] HERE WE GO.

ARE YOU OKAY? - YOU READY?

HERE I GO.

- THIS IS MEAN. DO YOU SEE WHAT SHE'S DOING?

YOU'RE DOING THAT ON PURPOSE.

I'M NOT LOOKING AT YOU.

- PLEASE CHECK YOUR SEATBELTS.

ONCE AGAIN, 50 MINUTES UP TO SACRAMENTO.

- I WILL BE THE FIRST CHICKEN.

- CLEAR SKIES, 60 DEGREES.

- CLEAR SKIES. WOO-HOO!

- WOULD YOU BE QUIET? I'M PRAYING.

- OH. SORRY.

- WINDY STORM AHEAD. HERE WE GO.

- OKAY, NOW I WANT TO SEE OUTSIDE.

- SHH! I'M SERIOUS. BE QUIET.

SHUT UP. - YOU INTERRUPTED MY PRAYER.

I LOVE TURBULENCE AND HERE'S KYLE LIKE,

"OH, MY GOD. OH."

- HOLY [bleep].

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - KYLE, IT'S OKAY.

- THE WHEELS ARE GOING UP.

- NO, IT FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING BACK DOWN.

- IT'S OKAY. IT'S NOT.

IT'S JUST GONNA REV BACK.

IT'S GONNA PULL BACK.

- NO, BUT THAT WAS WEIRD.

- SHE'S A PAIN IN THE BUTT.

SHE'S NERVOUS.

EVERY BUMP, SHE'S LIKE, "OH, MY GOD.

LISA! LISA! LISA!" AND I'M LIKE,

"OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE."

[thud]

- OH, MY GOD.

[screams] - OH, GOD.

- COMING UP ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES...

- KIM WAS AVOIDING ME AND GIVING ME THE COLD SHOULDER

ALL THROUGH THE SACRAMENTO TRIP.

JURY'S OUT ON KIM.

[thud]

- OH, MY GOD.

- KYLE, CALM DOWN.

- I DON'T LIKE THE FEELING OF NOT KNOWING

THE PILOTS AT ALL AND MY LIFE IS IN THEIR HANDS

AND THAT REALLY STRESSES ME OUT.

- KYLE, YOU'VE GOT TO THINK THAT, LIKE,

A CAR ON THE ROAD.

IT'S LIKE BUMPS ON THE ROAD.

- MY CAR DOESN'T FLY UP IN THE AIR LIKE THIS.

- JUST PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.

SHE'S KIND OF STRANGE.

SHE DOES HAVE A FEW NEUROTIC THINGS

THAT I FIND DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND.

I MEAN, IF SHE'S GOT A HEADACHE,

SHE'S GOT A BRAIN TUMOR, OR A COLD,

SHE'S GOT SWINE FLU OR SOMETHING.

SHE'S LIKE A NERVOUS WRECK.

- I THOUGHT I HAD A STROKE. HOLD ON.

I THOUGHT I HAD A STROKE, BUT IT WAS MY FALSE EYELASHES

WERE MAKING ONE EYE SMALLER THAN THE OTHER.

- [laughs]

- THIS IS THE BIG MAN RIGHT HERE.

- OH, THIS IS THE MAN OF MY LIFE.

- IT'S SO BEVERLY HILLS TO HAVE THE LITTLE DOG.

I THINK, YOU KNOW, THE WOMEN IN BEVERLY HILLS

HAVE SORT OF MADE THAT THE THING TO DO

IS TO CARRY A DOG AS OPPOSED TO JUST A PURSE AS AN ACCESSORY

AND LISA DOES IT WELL.

SHE CAN PULL IT OFF.

- THIS IS A TEACUP.

- YEAH.

- OH, JIGGY'S A RIOT.

IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S NOT REAL.

IT LOOKS LIKE IT RUNS ON BATTERIES OR SOMETHING.

- WHEN I FIRST MET KYLE, WE WERE AT

A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A ONE-YEAR-OLD.

- YEAH. EXACTLY.

- SO SHE HAS--HOW MANY CHILDREN DO YOU HAVE NOW?

- I HAVE FOUR DAUGHTERS.

AND I WAS, LIKE, BREASTFEEDING MY YOUNGEST, PORTIA,

AND SHE'S LIKE, "DO YOU WANT ANY MORE?"

I'M LIKE, "MAYBE." AND SHE'S LIKE,

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

- I HAD A SURROGATE--

SURROGATE CARRY MY TWO CHILDREN.

SO THAT MAKES IT A LOT EASIER.

- I KNOW SOME OF MY FRIENDS WOULD GIVE

THEIR RIGHT ARM TO BE ABLE TO CARRY A BABY, SO--

- IT'S SUCH A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE, IF YOU CAN.

- THE GREAT PERK IS YOU GET TO KEEP THAT GREAT FIGURE.

THAT SEEMS TO WORK OUT NICELY.

[laughter]

- KYLE, YOU SURVIVED.

- OKAY, WE LANDED.

- I'M ALIVE! - WHOO!

- YOO-HOO!

- NOW I CAN HAVE FUN.

- OKAY, BRING IT ON.

- COME ON.

WEE-WEE.

NO, STOP SCRATCHING.

CAN YOU TAKE THAT?

THANK YOU.

- ADRIENNE REALLY WENT ALL OUT FOR THIS TRIP,

BETWEEN THE JET AND THE LIMO,

AND THEN AS SOON AS WE LANDED

WE WERE WHISKED OFF TO A BEAUTIFUL RESTAURANT.

- I'M JUST GONNA HAVE THE TUNA TARTARE.

- THESE ARE PARTY FAVORS.

[overlapping chatter]

EVERYBODY GRAB YOUR PARTY FAVOR.

[laughter]

KIM, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.

- KYLE IS VERY COMFORTABLE AROUND A LOT OF PEOPLE

AND I'M NOT.

- DOES JIG--DOES HE EVER WALK ON THE GROUND?

- HE JUST DID. - WHERE?

- HE DID FOUR STEPS AND A WEE-WEE.

[overlapping chatter]

- FOUR STEPS AND A WEE-WEE.

- [in British accent] FOUR STEPS AND A WEE-WEE

WHEN NO ONE LOOKS.

- THAT IS NOT AN ENGLISH ACCENT, DARLING.

- WHATEVER.

- WE NEED TO WORK ON IT.

THEY KEEP GOING ON WITH THIS FAUX ENGLISH ACCENT.

I'M LIKE, "OH, GOD."

- [in British accent] NO, THIS IS EXACTLY--

THIS IS HOW YOU TALK. - DO I TALK LIKE THAT?

- SHE CAN--WHEN SHE SAYS "JIGGY,"

IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE YOU.

- THAT'S THE ONLY WORD SHE GETS RIGHT.

SEE?

I LOVE TO TEASE HER ABOUT IT

AND SHE SAYS THAT I'M NOT GOOD AT IT,

BUT I REALLY, REALLY AM.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FROG, YOU KNOW?

AND IT'S LIKE, OH, SO ELEGANT.

- OR "COVER YOUR RAT."

- COVER YOUR WHAT? - COVER YOUR RAT.

- WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

- IT'S YOUR--

- LISA'S LIKE, "WHAT?" - YOUR RAT?

- YOUR RAT IS YOUR--

- WHY WOULD YOUR RAT BE UNCOVERED ANYWAY, CAMILLE?

[laughter]

- YOUR RAT OR KELSEY'S RAT?

- THE CAST OF FRASIER CAME TO ME AND THEY SAID,

"PLEASE GET HIM TO WEAR UNDERWEAR.

WE'RE SICK OF HIM NOT WEARING ANY."

I'VE BEEN CALLED A TROPHY WIFE AND I'M LOT MORE THAN THAT.

I'M THE POWERHOUSE BEHIND KELSEY GRAMMER.

I'VE KEPT HIM ALIVE, I'VE SAVED HIS LIFE,

AND I'M STILL HERE WORKING WITH HIM.

- WAIT. WHAT?

- YES.

- I KNOW CAMILLE REALLY WANTS TO BE HER OWN PERSON

AND SHE WANTS TO BE SEEN AS AN INDIVIDUAL.

HER BEST BET WOULD BE TO MAYBE NOT

TALK ABOUT KELSEY AND MAKE IT MORE ABOUT CAMILLE.

- ARE YOU SERIOUS?

- WE'RE SICK OF SEEING HIM.

- GROWING UP AS A CHILD ACTRESS,

I HAD NOT A WHOLE LOT OF FRIENDS.

I KNOW I HAVE TO WORK HARDER BEING MORE SOCIAL,

BUT I WASN'T CONNECTING WITH ANYBODY REALLY.

- HOW ARE YOU DOING?

- SO GOOD OF YOU TO BRING YOUR GIRLFRIENDS OUT TO MEET US ALL.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN.

DO THEY KNOW HOW FABULOUS YOU ARE?

SHOULD I TELL 'EM? - YOU CAN TELL 'EM.

- OKAY. - WE DON'T MIND THAT.

- HI. - I'M TAYLOR.

- IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. WELCOME TO SACRAMENTO.

- MARTINA. - HOW ARE YOU?

- MALOOF STYLE.

IT WAS VIP ALL THE WAY. LOVE IT.

- THAT'S MY BROTHER.

- OH, I WANT TO SAY HI. - YEAH.

- ADRIENNE'S FAMILY OWNS THIS WHOLE PLACE

AND WE WERE TREATED LIKE QUEENS.

- HOW ARE YOU?

- HI. GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

- HI. HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU.

- HI. - HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?

WELCOME.

- I'VE MET GAVIN AND JOE MALOOF BEFORE

AT FAMILY FUNCTIONS WITH ADRIENNE.

THEY'RE SUCH A DYNAMIC FAMILY

AND YOU CAN JUST SEE WHY THEY HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING EMPIRE.

- HI, OMRI. YEAH. HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD LUCK. NICE TO SEE YOU.

COME MEET MY GIRLFRIENDS.

AS AN NBA OWNER, YOU LEARN TO REALLY

DEVELOP FRIENDSHIPS WITH YOUR PLAYERS,

SO IT'S LIKE A BIG FAMILY.

- HOW'S THE BABY? - WHO'S GONNA TAKE IT FOR ME?

- YEAH?

[overlapping chatter]

- OKAY, COME HERE, DARLING.

- WE MET RON ARTEST AND, UM,

I THINK I MET A COUPLE OF THE KINGS PLAYERS,

BUT I DON'T REMEMBER THEIR NAMES.

HOW AWFUL IS THAT? BUT--

- HEY, TYREKE. HOW ARE YOU?

- DOING GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

- IT'S SO FUNNY WATCHING ADRIENNE

WITH THESE TALL PLAYERS AND SHE'S THIS

BEAUTIFUL, LITTLE, PETITE WOMAN.

THINK, "THIS IS THEIR BOSS."

- I LOVE BEING COURTSIDE ON A BASKETBALL GAME,

AND ANYTIME KELSEY GETS TICKETS COURTSIDE, I'M THERE.

I NEVER HESITATE.

IT'S JUST A, "YES, WE'RE GOING, HONEY.

YES, YES. WE'LL BE THERE COURTSIDE, YES."

[cheers and applause]

- IF YOU GET A CHANCE TO GO AND SEE A GAME WITH ADRIENNE,

ABSOLUTELY, IT'S A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE.

[whistle blows]

- OH!

NO. OH, MY GOD.

PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK ME, "WHAT'S IT LIKE

TO OWN AN NBA BASKETBALL TEAM?"

AND IT'S NERVE-RACKING.

YOU NOT ONLY ARE A FAN, BUT YOU'RE AN OWNER,

SO EVERY DRIBBLE OF THE BALL, EVERY PASS,

THOSE NERVES START UP AND IT CAN BE BRUTAL AT TIMES.

- CAMILLE'S DEFINITELY NOT SHY.

SHE GOT UP, SHE DANCED, SHE WAS JUST KIND OF

SHOWING OFF A LITTLE BIT.

- CAMILLE WAS DANCING WITH THIS

PANTOMIME LION.

- IT'S CALLED A MASCOT.

- WOO-HOO!

I'M A LAKERS FAN, SO I FELT A LITTLE BIT GUILTY.

[whistle blows]

[screams]

I WAS CHEERING FOR THE LAKERS, BUT EVERY TIME,

I FELT LIKE, "OH, MY GOD. I KEEP FORGETTING THAT,

YOU KNOW, I'M SITTING WITH THE OWNERS AS THEIR GUEST."

- I KNOW THAT KIM WAS SITTING DOWN ON THE END

WITH TAYLOR AND SHE WASN'T QUITE COMFORTABLE.

IT TAKES HER A WHILE TO TRUST OTHER WOMEN.

SHE'S A LITTLE MORE JUDGMENTAL.

- IT WAS ALL GOOD FUN, BUT KIM SEEMED

MUCH MORE RESERVED AND MUCH MORE ON THE OUTSIDE.

MAYBE SHE WENT BACK TO WITCH MOUNTAIN.

- THE THING WAS I HADN'T HAD A REAL BIG CONNECTION WITH TAYLOR

AND SO I JUST REALLY WAS NOT HAVING THE BEST TIME AT ALL.

- FELT LIKE KIM WAS AVOIDING ME

AND GIVING ME THE COLD SHOULDER ALL THROUGH THE SACRAMENTO TRIP.

[air horn blows]

I CANNOT FIGURE KIM OUT.

- COMING UP ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES...

- I TAKE TIME OUT OF MY LIFE TO HELP YOU.

- YOU HAVE A HUSBAND. YOU HAVE KIDS.

YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GONNA LIVE.

I DON'T.

- HI. HOW ARE YOU?

THANK YOU. - DID YOU ENJOY THE GAME?

- YES. THANK YOU.

WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT EVENING,

OF COURSE, HAD WE WON,

BUT THE LAKERS.

YEAH, THEY PULLED THROUGH.

IT WAS A CLOSE GAME THOUGH, SO.

WELL, BUT WE'LL GET 'EM NEXT YEAR.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

SO MUCH FUN. I LOVED IT.

THANK YOU.

- I WAS REALLY HAPPY THAT KYLE INCLUDED ME

TO BE WITH ALL THE GIRLS,

BUT I'M NOT GONNA JUMP ALL IN AND BE FRIENDS

WITH EVERYBODY AT FIRST.

TAKES ME TIME.

- MWAH.

- IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SACRAMENTO TRIP,

I WAS TRYING TO ENGAGE WITH KIM,

BUT TOWARD THE END OF THE TRIP,

I JUST STOPPED TRYING WITH HER,

BECAUSE I COULD TELL THERE WAS A WALL THERE,

AND I WAS NOT IN THE MOOD TO CLIMB IT.

- I BROUGHT A MAN. - OH, MY GOSH.

- MUSCLE TO MOVE. HI.

- I'M FINDING ALL THESE LITTLE BABY PICTURES OF US AND STUFF.

- HI, KIM. - LOOK AT MOM.

- HI. SORRY.

- HEY, KIM, LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF MOM I JUST FOUND.

THIS IS ONE OF MY COPIES I'VE NOTICED--

- HEY! - CAREFUL, GUYS.

- I KNOW, BUT SERIOUSLY, YOU HAVE ONE OF DAD.

KIM IS A VERY CO-DEPENDENT PERSON.

I KNOW THAT WORRIED MY MOM,

SO I PROMISED MY MOM WHEN SHE WAS DYING

THAT I WOULD LOOK AFTER MY SISTER KIM,

AND I'M GONNA KEEP THAT PROMISE.

I THINK THE LAST HOUSE WE SAW WAS A GOOD ONE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DON'T JUST TAKE THAT ONE.

- BECAUSE IT DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH BEDROOMS

AND MY KIDS WOULD HAVE TO SHARE.

- I FEEL LIKE SHE--REALLY IT'S HARD FOR HER

TO STAND ON HER OWN.

IT'S MAKING HER FEEL MAYBE INSECURE

AND HAVING TO LEAN ON HER FAMILY

AND HER KIDS MORE THAN SHE SHOULD.

BROOKE'S ALWAYS WITH HER BOYFRIEND

AND WHITNEY'S WITH HER BOYFRIEND

AND KIMBERLY'S WITH JOHN.

YOU'RE GONNA END UP BEING IN THIS BIG HOUSE BY YOURSELF.

- I FEEL LIKE KYLE OVERSTEPS HER BOUNDARIES.

I STAY OUT OF HER PERSONAL SPACE

AND I THINK THAT SHE LIKES TO BE

VERY MUCH A PART OF WHAT'S IN MINE.

- ANYWAY, I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE I'M, LIKE,

BEING HARD ON YOU OR MEAN TO YOU.

I JUST FEEL LIKE--

- WELL, THEN DON'T ACT LIKE THAT.

- I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU FIND A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOUR KIDS

AND I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD MAKE MORE OF AN EFFORT

WITH ALL OF THESE GIRLS.

- ME EVEN GOING TO SACRAMENTO,

ME GETTING ON THAT PLANE AND LEAVING MY KIDS,

WAS A HUGE THING.

- WELL, SACRAMENTO WAS A LOT OF FUN,

BUT YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO WANT TO HAVE FUN.

- MAYBE IN THOSE SITUATIONS,

MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME OUT A LITTLE.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HELPING YOU OUT?

I BROUGHT YOU IN TO MEET ALL OF MY FRIENDS.

ADRIENNE INVITED YOU.

- YOU, LIKE, KIND OF WALK AWAY AND LEAVE ME SITTING THERE.

- I'M NOT GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND EVERY SECOND.

- NO, I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO HOLD MY HAND.

BUT IT'S LIKE, HONESTLY--

- I SAID, "GO SIT WITH ONE OF THE GIRLS--"

- BUT I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THE GIRLS.

- WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN GET TO KNOW THEM.

- WHO CAN MEET ANYBODY WHEN YOU SIT NEXT

TO SOMEBODY LIKE TAYLOR WHO PURPOSELY

SITS WITH HER BACK TO YOU LIKE THIS?

BEING A CHILD ACTRESS, I NEVER REALLY GOT

THE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH OTHER KIDS,

SO WHEN I'M IN A GROUP, I DO TEND TO STICK

TO SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME.

I'VE GOT A LOT ON MY PLATE RIGHT NOW AND I'M--

- I DO TOO. - WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

- FIRST OF ALL, YOU DON'T THINK THAT--

- YOU HAVE A HOUSE. YOU HAVE A HUSBAND.

YOU HAVE KIDS.

YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GONNA LIVE.

I DON'T, SO RIGHT NOW,

EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS,

IT'S REALLY NOT ON MY BIG PRIORITY LIST.

- I HAVE A FAMILY TOO. I HAVE FOUR KIDS.

I HAVE A HUSBAND. - I JUST SAID THAT.

- AND I TAKE TIME OUT OF MY LIFE TO HELP YOU.

SOMETIMES I THINK I CANNOT KEEP THIS PROMISE TO MY MOM.

I JUST CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE WITH HER.

SOMETIMES I JUST GET SO OVERWHELMED BY HER.

AND BY THE WAY, A LITTLE "THANK YOU"

NOW AND THEN WOULDN'T HURT.

- AND BY THE WAY, I THANK YOU ALL THE TIME.

- WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO IT ON YOUR OWN?

- I'VE BEEN DOING IT ON MY OWN FOR A LONG TIME.

I DON'T THINK THAT KYLE COULD UNDERSTAND

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A SINGLE PARENT.

- THIS SEASON, ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

[cheering]

- YEAH, BABY!

- SOMETHING HAPPENED IN VEGAS.

TOTALLY OUT OF LEFT FIELD.

- SHE SAID, "WHY WOULD THEY BE INTERESTED IN YOU

WITHOUT KELSEY THERE?"

- LET'S GET THE STORY STRAIGHT. I DIDN'T SAY THOSE THINGS.

- DON'T THROW JABS AT ME.

- IT'S GOOD.

- WHAT IS THIS?

- YOU'RE GONNA BE GORGEOUS.

- WE HAVE TO SUFFER FOR BEAUTY.

- YOU'RE SO DRAMATIC.

- I CAN'T BREATHE THOUGH.

- COME ON!

[chuckles]

- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

- BEND OVER. IT'S NOT GONNA HURT A BIT.

- THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME.

- OW!

OKAY, THIS ONE FEELS LIKE A REALLY BAD ONE.

OH, MY GOD!

[cheering]

- KELSEY! - THANK YOU. HOW YOU DOING?

- KELSEY WAS NOMINATED FOR A TONY.

IT WAS VERY HARD WALKING DOWN THE RED CARPET

KNOWING THAT MY MARRIAGE WAS ALMOST OVER.

I WAS ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED.

- I WANT TO GIVE MY SON THIS CHANCE.

I'M SCARED.

- RUSSELL AND I ARE SO DISCONNECTED LATELY.

- IF YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

- I DON'T WANT HER TO LOSE ANYTHING IN HER LIFE.

- YOU'RE SUCH A [bleep] LIAR, CAMILLE.

- DO NOT [bleep] DRAG ME INTO THIS.

- OH, REALLY? DON'T PISS ME OFF.

- THAT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING.

- YOU LIVE IN MY HOUSE, DRIVE MY CAR.

THAT'S NOT COOL.

- SHE POSED NAKED IN PLAYBOY AFTER THE O.J. TRIAL.

THAT'S HER.

- AS THE HOST OF A DINNER PARTY,

I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT.

- I CAN TELL YOU WHEN SHE WILL DIE

AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HER FAMILY.

- I WAS WAITING FOR KYLE TO FLY ACROSS THE TABLE.

- THIS IS ALL BULL[bleep] TO ME, OKAY?

- ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

- WHY ARE THEY ARGUING?

- BECAUSE WOMEN LOVE TO ARGUE.

- OH, EXCUSE ME?

- CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME?

- OH, WELL, THIS IS MY PARTY,

SO DO ME A FAVOR AND STAY AWAY FROM ME.

- I WISH, YOU KNOW, THAT NIGHT NEVER HAPPENED.

AFTER EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE DONE FOR YOU--

- EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE FOR ME? - YEAH.

[bleep] YOU FOR TALKING LIKE THAT.

YOU BETTER [bleep]--

- STOP IT! - STOP! STOP IT! STOP IT!

- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,

GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.