Original subtitles

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

(PIANO PLAYING SINGLE NOTE REPEATEDLY)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(PLAYS NOTE)

(PLAYS NOTE)

(PIANO TUNE PLAYING)

(PLAYS NOTE AGAIN)

(OFFBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(PIANO PLAYING)

(PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING)

(NOTES PLAY DISCORDANTLY)

(BABY CRYING OVER MONITOR)

(NANNY SINGING IN SPANISH OVER MONITOR)

(BABY CONTINUES CRYING) (NANNY CONTINUES SINGING)

(STOPS SINGING)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

No, no, no, no, no' no.

No, no, no, no.

(BABY COOING)

No, no, no, no!

(PLEADING IN SPANISH)

You really like that baby, huh?

It's not even yours.

(SCOFFS)

(GASPS)

(SPANISH SONG PLAYING)

(BABY WAILING)

CAROLYN: And what about the coroner's report?

No signs of a struggle.

No evidence of asphyxiation or internal injury.

Basically, he was absolutely fine until he...

hit the ground.

CAROLYN: May I?

So, the head of the MPS

is still saying it's suicide despite the lack of note or motivation.

That is reassuring.

It would be really unsettling if he actually got something right.

Carolyn said I could come straight in.

Oh...

Wow.

Oh, get over it, Eve. I have all my best thoughts in the bath.

If Mo can manage, you can.

I haven't looked up in ten minutes.

Did you get Kenny's thumb drive back from the police?

At quite a cost, yes.

I'd rather not know.

Oh, I'll meet you downstairs! Oh!

Who's that?

Our Bitter Pill representative.

I invited him.

Before I knew this meeting was in a bathroom.

(DOOR SHUTS)

Mo, would you just pass me a towel, please.

(EVE EXHALES HEAVILY)

So we have the burner phone and the thumb drive.

What else do we have to go on?

Excellent.

Good meeting.

Meetings have biscuits.

You can have a biscuit when you tell me what the point of you is.

Planning on analysing those yourself then, are you?

I think the world's foremost intelligence agency might handle it.

Oh, that public school, what-oh-ing, old boys' network?

I don't think a beer fridge and a beanbag breakout area

gives you any great insight into global politics.

That's a... Enough! Okay? Enough!

Carolyn, you and Mo take the phone,

we'll take the thumb thingy.

Cos you know what we do from now on?

We share. CAROLYN: Wow!

That is literally the most parenting this household has ever seen.

DASHA: So you thought this was good idea?

I'm practising my characters like you told me.

Young mother with baby...

And grandma.

What got into you?

You have been unfocused and manic for days.

I'm just having some fun.

(BABY CRYING)

Stop that.

I don't like it.

You would think after your last managerial disaster

you would want to keep your head down.

It is not my fault he was an idiot.

I keep telling them to look harder for good recruits.

But what can you do?

(YELPS SOFTLY) (LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS) You think that's funny?

I'll show you what's funny.

You come with me, because I've had enough.

(BABY CRYING)

(LAUGHING)

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

Now that is funny.

You want to amuse yourself, go crazy.

But I will not have you put both of our futures at risk.

I'm the one doing all the work.

You think handling you isn't work?

Why you think no one else is prepared to do it?

Bad pension scheme?

You should get your act together.

You know, jobs will get tougher,

and they will not let you get away with being sloppy.

(IMITATES ACCENT) Sloppy.

No.

No? What do you mean, no?

It's too soon. I have to prepare.

I'm not ready!

How about that?

Not ready for London?

All you need is anorak and face like cheese!

You're right.

You're right. I know what I'm doing.

I can handle this.

(WOMAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

(BABY CRYING)

This is bank stuff, financial data.

Oh, he said something about accounts.

Damn it. What was it?

(PLASTIC WRAPPER RUSTLING)

(CHEWING NOISILY)

Do you want one?

What? Oh, no. I... No.

Once I pop, I just can't stop.

You can. It's just about self-control.

But I don't have any self-control.

All these are different accounts, in different locations.

One of them must've meant something to Kenny.

That one is different.

Hmm.

R-U-R apostrophe?

EVE: A code, maybe?

It is, where's, erm...

Where's that Rubik's Cube?

The only way I can solve this is by taking off all the stickers.

Oh, we don't need to solve it, it's cube notation.

He's told us what to do.

Okay, erm, turn it right facing 90 degrees clockwise.

Is that supposed to mean something to me?

Here.

Er, "U".

Upwards 90 degrees.

"R" apostrophe.

Right face anti-clockwise.

"U2" and "F" apostrophe.

I think that's it.

Sschnp...

Sschnp!

Panda?

Kenny named the account "Panda".

Kenny and I were looking into an international organ...

But before I go on, you have to understand

that once I tell you about them, your lives are in danger.

Then don't tell us. They're called The Twelve,

and they've infiltrated governments and organisations all over the world.

We don't know what their end game is.

But we do know

they've been responsible for a significant number of international murders.

Okay, now, Fat Panda was a Chinese intelligence officer killed in Berlin.

He was tracking a double agent for The Twelve

who was being paid from a bank account in...

the Cayman Islands.

Right.

The double agent was an MI5 officer named Frank Haleton.

What happened to Frank?

He lost his knob.

And his life.

In that order?

EVE: Well, the Twelve wanted a hit on him,

but the... (SCOFFS)

But the assassin was...

I mean, she had a flair for... She?

The account went dormant after Frank's death.

But Kenny found it was active again.

Three bank transfers in the last two months,

totalling just over six million euros.

And the remaining balance moved to an account in Geneva.

So who owns the Geneva account?

We don't know.

We need someone who can get into some very classified banking info.

Yes, we do.

No. We do not go to them.

Yes, we do.

The thing is we can't trace the account.

Well, yeah.

You don't set up an account in Geneva for transparency.

But you could trace it, right?

I thought we were looking into the phone.

That was the deal, wasn't it?

Or did Charlie Big Potatoes change his mind because he didn't get a hobnob?

Come on. We're in this together.

Are we?

Because no one else is having to work at MI6

whilst moonlighting for Carolyn,

and now you want me to trace...

Did you take this job thinking it would be easier?

If you did, quit now.

Cos it's only getting tougher.

I'll see what I can do.

Great.

Oh, and, uh...

That's who we think has been on their hitlist so far.

You know, I've been going through the MI6 case files

you and Kenny worked on.

You really should have some kind of protection. You know that, right?

Do you have any idea what happens to people who are protected by MI6?

What?

It's not good.

(INTERCOM BUZZES)

CHARLES: (OVER INTERCOM) Charles Kruger. It's me.

Who's "me"?

Just let me in.

(DOOR BUZZES)

(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)

Look at us, Kostya, we are old.

The kids are all grown up.

I'm going to see my son's graduation next month.

His modern dance, it's so visceral!

Have you ever locked and popped, Kostya?

No! You'd displace a hip these days, eh?

Wouldn't you?

You wanted to see me?

Yeah. (SIGHS)

Um...

Somebody's been siphoning money from the Geneva account.

I managed to retrieve what's left,

but a pretty sizeable chunk's been taken.

How much has gone?

Er, six million in total.

Phew!

Do you know who?

No, not yet, but I'll find the person responsible.

I'll make some calls. See what I can find.

Er, the money, Konstantin.

I... I'd prefer the money.

If you could tide me over?

Just buys me some time until I find the scoundrel.

Okay. (SIGHS IN RELIEF)

Thank you, thank you.

How's Irina these days? Still a little shit?

She's like a little shit taking a shit on a big shit,

and the three shits combined into one enormous shit.

That's wonderful! (LAUGHS)

Kids!

Kids.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

VILLANELLE: I want to smell powerful.

I want to make people gag with it.

Can you do that for me?

Well, we have some lovely floral fragrances

for ladies over here.

The iris, in particular, is a very power...

Maybe I should describe to you what I'm thinking.

Let me get a pen.

(SCOFFS)

I want to smell like a Roman centurion...

(PEN SCRIBBLING)

Who's coming across an old foe

who, in battle once, hurt him greatly.

Oh, but since then,

the Roman centurion has become...

emperor...

and is now powerful beyond measure.

Maybe something more woody.

Hmm.

GERALDINE: I think it's wonderful you're letting people in.

We all need intimacy in our lives,

even people who keep secrets for a living.

Nonsense. There are monks in China

who go years without seeing another human being.

They probably have different kind of...

Emily Bronte. Hardly left the house.

Mum.

I'm proud of you for trying something new.

Dating is scary,

but pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones is how we grow.

You know what's scary, Geraldine,

is how much I regret telling you it's a date.

I'm so happy

that you're doing something for you.

Kenny would be, too.

He always wanted you to meet some...

Here, let me.

No, it's better without.

And don't talk about Stalin.

He's strictly third date.

(UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

(MEN LAUGHING)

Another drink while you wait, madam?

No, thank you, Tom.

I think there comes a time

when one must admit defeat.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

Henrik?

Carolyn?

(CHUCKLES IN SURPRISE)

(LAUGHS)

How incredible!

I adore a coincidence.

It makes me feel I'm in the right place.

It must be what, 20 years?

No. Yeah, yeah, 21, it must be.

1999 is the year I got divorced.

Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

For the first time.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Well... Yeah.

If it makes you feel any better,

I've just had the novel experience of being stood up.

No, what? Surely... You?

Don't worry, I'll have him killed.

(LAUGHING)

Listen, do you, erm...

Do you want to get something to eat?

What about your charming friends?

Hmm? They disgust me.

Come on, come on, what do you fancy?

Seafood? Steak?

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

I must say, the years have been good to you, Henrik.

Ah, a terrible lifestyle suits me, hmm?

(BOTH LAUGH)

So, Geneva's still treating you well?

What, the bank? (SCOFFS)

Don't get me started.

Do go on.

There's nothing I enjoy more than some salacious financial gossip.

(SIREN WAILING)

(INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION)

(SIREN CONTINUES WAILING)

Oh, is she okay?

The official line is "migraine".

CAROLYN: I'm having an aura, Eve.

It's probably stress-related.

You know, a great cure for that? Paracetamol.

Did you find out who owns the account?

Yes.

A 92-year-old sugar beet farmer in East Anglia.

Who died nine years ago.

The real owner

is this guy.

Charles Kruger.

Born Sergei Korchmarev in East Berlin.

He was very gorgeous in his day.

Oh, another one of your Cold War boyfriends, Carolyn?

Don't be ridiculous, Eve.

We barely had a night together.

Yeah. We get it. You had a great time in the '80s.

So, Korchmarev disappeared from Russia around 1989.

Eventually showing up in London

and presenting himself as amiable accountant Charles Kruger.

Do you think he could actually be the accountant for The Twelve?

I'm thinking he's definitely worth a visit to Kensington.

I'll head right there. And do what?

Wait in the car with a bottle of pop and a bag of crisps?

It'll be hard enough to get him to talk to me.

He's definitely not going to talk to somebody he doesn't know.

Are you sure?

Of course, I'm sure. I know how he operates, Eve.

No, I mean...

This is different, remember?

I'm going to have a shower.

Oh, God.

(SIGHS) Oh!

First Henrik, then Sergei.

It's not fun, Eve, using people you once loved.

It's all rather painful, really.

Do you believe a word of that?

No, I think she loves it.

(COMICAL EVIL LAUGHTER)

(BABY CRYING)

♪ If you go down in the woods today

♪ You're sure of a big surprise

♪ If you go down in the woods today

♪ You'd better go in disguise

♪ For every bear that ever there was

♪ Will gather there for certain

♪ Because today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic ♪

(TOY SQUEAKS) Would you like to make a talking bear?

(TOY SQUEAKS)

(TOY LAUGHS) (BABY SCREAMING)

This place is psychopathic.

(MUSIC TINKLING)

(BEEPING)

I should have shot you in the head.

(RECORDED) I should have shot you in the head. (SCOFFS)

(RECORD BUTTON DINGS)

I should have shot you in the head and watched you die.

I should have shot you in the head and watched you die.

(RECORD BUTTON DINGS)

I can't stop thinking about you.

(DOOR OPENS)

WOMAN: Eve?

Oh, Valerie, hi.

Can I be of help?

Oh, no. I'm just waiting for Niko.

He discharged himself.

What?

Last week.

He was actually doing very well.

Uh, did he leave me a note,

or a forwarding address?

I'm afraid I can't.

Valerie, I'm his wife.

He did say something about Poland.

(SIREN WAILING)

Hi, Eve.

(YELLING)

Eve!

I'm not here for you!

(EVE GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS)

Smell me, Eve.

What do I smell of to you?

♪ You've got this strange effect on me

♪ And I like it

♪ You've got this strange effect on me (GRUNTS)

♪ And I like it (BELL DINGS) (GROANS)

♪ You make my world seem right

♪ You make my darkness bright

♪ Oh, yes, you've got a strange effect on me

♪ And I like it

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

♪ And I like it

♪ And I like the way you kiss me

♪ Don't know if I should

♪ But this feeling is love and I know it

♪ That's why I feel good ♪

(PHONE RINGING)

I don't want to talk about it.

(COUGHING)

(WHEEZING)

Eve...

I said, I don't want to talk about it.

So, what now?

We eat toffee eclairs and watch that doorway.

Can't we just go in?

And ruin the fun of a stake-out?

You wouldn't do that to an old spy, Mo.

Plus, if we go in,

we're trapped.

Out here, he's accountable.

What happened?

Okay. Fine.

I don't give a toss,

as long as it's got nothing to do with what we're working on.

There is this assassin.

Who works for The Twelve.

Have you got to the chocolate yet?

Mmm.

I've just got it.

When I was younger...

Wait there.

Damn!

Follow him.

I don't think we're gonna lose him, somehow.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(COUGHING)

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

EVE: Villanelle said she wasn't here for me.

So let's just think,

who The Twelve would want to murder aside from me.

Right, okay.

Possible assassin targets.

Oh, my God.

What? Carolyn!

It's Carolyn.

They must know we found their accountant.

So after you came to England, what did you do?

An eclair?

(SCOFFS)

Well, that won't get you that three-book deal, Sergei.

Tell me what you're going to wear at your son's graduation.

It's next month, isn't it?

Tell me how he does that thing with his shoulders.

(MOBILE RINGING)

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

She's not picking up!

Try Mo.

(DIALLING)

Shall I share what I think happened

when you swapped the Stasi for HMRC?

I think you accepted a job from The Twelve,

like the money-grabbing bottom-feeder you are.

Am I warm?

(PHONE BEEPS)

They're on a stakeout!

Who doesn't answer their phone on a stakeout?

(POLICE SIREN CHIRPS)

Uh-oh.

What's going on?

MO: Nothing. Just everyone look innocent.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

(INAUDIBLE)

(HIGH-PITCHED TONE RINGING)

(CAR ALARM BLARING) (DOG BARKING)

(PANTING)

(GASPS)

(EXHALES IN RELIEF)

(GROANING)

(LIQUID DRIPPING)

(BOTH SIGH)

REPORTER: The husband of classical musician

and influential political campaigner Isabel Fernandez

was this afternoon reunited with his baby

who had been missing since Mrs. Fernandez was found dead at her home yesterday.

(WOMAN SPEAKING SPANISH ON TV)

He's so happy.

I'm fine.

There's no need for...

I'm fine.

Would you, erm, pour me a whiskey, Geraldine?

Yes, of course.

♪ Walk, walk, walk on

♪ Walk, walk on

♪ Walk, walk, walk on

♪ Walk on

♪ Walk, walk on

♪ Walk on ♪

(SIGHS)

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

(YELLING) (SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING) Don't wait for me in the dark like that.

It's rude!

It's bad for my heart.

Don't you want to know why I'm in your bed?

Not really, no.

I am too tired for games and I have to find six million euros tomorrow.

You will never find six million in a day.

Not even if you sold both of your kidneys.

Technically, you don't even own them anymore!

The Twelve do.

They own every little bit of you.

Goodnight, Villanelle.

What kind of baby do you think I was?

I think I was cute.

Do you think people smiled with joy when they saw my little face?

God, you're boring.

You're more boring than that accountant I just shot.

And accountants are really boring.

(SHOUTING) Hey! Hey!

Wakey, wakey, Konstantin.

I think you were ugly as hell, okay?

Great.

Well, now you're just looking for a reaction.

No, I'm not.

I've seen a photo of you.

You had a strange head.

Bulbous. Unnatural.

Who was I with?

I don't remember.

Hmm.

I want to find my family.

Why?

So you can feel like dirt the whole time about how you're letting them down?

(SCOFFS)

Smell me.

No.

Smell me. Hmm? What do I smell of?

What am I wearing?

I don't know. Ah!

Power!

I'm wearing power.

And to keep power,

you need knowledge.

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

You'll find them for me. Okay?

I sleep on the couch.

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

(FLOOR CREAKS)

Hello?

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

Oh!

VILLANELLE: (OVER RECORDING) Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here.

Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here.

Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here.

Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here. (TEDDY BEAR SQUEAKS)

(GASPS) Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here.

Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here.

(GRUNTS) (RECORDING STOPS)

Oh, God!

(PANTING)

(TEDDY BEAR SQUEAKS)

Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here.

Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here.

Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here.

Admit it, Eve.

You wish I was here.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)