Original subtitles

It was Aunt Faith's idea.

Come on, Hope. It was a joke.

Seeing my daughter's stomach explode is not funny.

Oh, yeah? And how come I peed in my pants?

Those are my pants.

Correction, your pants.

And your underpants.

And a couple of drops in your running shoes.

Oh, that's a great vest.

And I really like that pin. What is that, a pumpkin?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a pumpkin.

Look.

Lights up.

That is just neato, Mom. Hey, maybe I could wear that to Vanessa's party

tomorrow night.

Oh, sure, that'd be... Wait a minute.

You can't go to any party. You're grounded.

But you can wear it to school today if you like.

Pass.

Mrs. Racket invited us to a party.

Crazy Mrs.

Racket? You're kidding. Let me see that.

Who's Mrs. Racket? This nutty woman who lived down the street from us when we

were kids. She lived in this spooky old house, and she always wore a new coat

whenever somebody's dog went missing.

Oh, wait a minute. That was 101 Dalmatians.

Your aunt tortured this poor woman. Ding -dong ditch, prank phone call.

Hey, you helped me TP her elm tree that one Halloween.

We used 50 rolls.

Really?

Too fly.

Well, we have to go to the party.

I mean, she's all alone. She probably doesn't have any friends.

All right. I suppose we could stop by for one poison apple.

And hope. I promise, no more pranks.

And it was wrong of me to use one of the kids.

Swear.

Swear. Oh.

And I got up extra early this morning and went to Zinman's Bakeries for those

pumpkin cookies that you love.

Nice face, but I'm not falling for it.

Work for me.

She really went all out for Halloween.

I want to try.

Hello. Hope Schnowski and Faith Fairfield.

We're here for all the party fun.

I'll alert the mistress you have arrived.

He was probably very nice when he was alive.

This place looks a lot spookier than I thought it'd be, huh?

Hey, handsome.

My, what a long sword you have.

Smells like old lady.

Old lady cooking cabbage.

Old, rotting, baggy -skinned lady cooking cabbage in her stinking

Jimmy Chongan.

Mrs. Racket, we didn't see you there, sitting in the dark with your back to

And my stinking underpants.

You thought we were talking about your underpants.

No, no.

We were talking about Hope's underpants.

Woo!

So anyway, I guess we're the first ones here.

And the last. No one else was invited.

So, we were just saying how wonderful your Halloween decorations are.

Is it Halloween?

Oh, dear, I've been so distracted since my favorite cat died.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Yes, well, at least I still have Medusa.

Want to hold her?

Oh, yes.

She's so soft.

Yes, I had her stuffed with down.

I'm more of a dead dog person.

Come on, Justin.

Let's go get one million pieces of candy.

Make that one billion pieces of candy.

Come on, Haley. It's your last chance to join us. I don't know how you people

can run around filling your bags with candy when millions of people are

in the world.

Good times, Haley.

Besides, Edwin's coming over. He just got the new edition of Ultimate Brain

Banger. This is Candyman.

Do you read me, Candy Lad?

Roger that, Candyman. Let's go get some candy.

Roger that.

Behave, baby.

All right.

Let's get this straight.

The living room is mine. You can hang out in the kitchen with Nerdy McLoser.

Edwin is not a loser.

He's president of the Geography Club and student council sergeant at arm.

Stop. I'm getting hot.

Oh, Edwin.

I didn't realize brain bangers with a black tie affair.

No, it's not really a tuxedo.

It's a T -shirt.

Hey, I forgot your game. Oh, hi.

Hi.

I'm Henry, Edwin's brother.

I love this kid.

I didn't even think you knew my name.

Are you kidding? I know your name as well as I know the fact that I'm not

currently seeing anyone.

So, we were surprised, pleasantly surprised, to get your invitation.

We haven't thought about you in years.

Really? I think about you.

Every day.

See, Hope, told you she was a fan of the soap.

Oh, no, I don't have a TV. Not since my husband departed.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Yes, it was 20 years ago this very Halloween.

Some neighborhood kids toilet papered our house.

They must have used 50 rolls.

Two -ply.

Anyway, he was up on the ladder trying to take it off our old elm tree.

And that's when he fell.

On your TV?

No, on his hip. He died from a broken hip?

Oh, no. He didn't die. He ran off with the nurse from the hospital.

Oh, that is so romantic.

For you, of course.

My point is that if those neighborhood kids, whoever they might have been,

hadn't toilet papered our house, my life might not have been so empty.

Aw, don't say that.

Your life seems full.

You're obviously a party person.

With a suit of armor.

And a cat that will never run away.

what my sister's trying to say is that we've had a lovely time, but if we don't

go now, we'll never want to leave.

Okay.

For one drink.

Name your poison.

Arsenic. No.

No, no.

Cyanide.

It's hard to say. I like them both.

We'll just have whatever you're drinking.

The woman carries around a dead cat. Can you imagine what she doesn't want us to

see?

Door's locked.

Probably her torture chamber.

I feel terrible. I can't believe you talked me into TPing her house.

Do you think she knows that we ruined her life?

Don't be so paranoid. There's no way she knows it was us.

you never told me you have an older brother.

This is the first time you've ever spoken to me.

Well, that's because I'm shy.

Well, I should get going.

Okay, see you later. Wait!

How did this picture of me in a bikini get down here?

Wow.

I know, right?

It's a beautiful sunset.

So, I'll pick you up at ten, all right?

We're all going to play that brain banger game, and we need four to play.

Welcome, can I play?

Yeah, sure. Okay, great.

Where are you going? I'll get my girlfriend.

She's out in the car.

If she's pretty, you're dead, Edwin.

before you go to living every day like it's your life.

Oh.

Oh, dear.

Okie dokie. Well, we've got to...

messing up my hair.

But, Miss Racket, the prank's over. What are you doing?

You girls have tortured me for years.

the kids meet at the co -ed scouting jamboree i'm a girl scout and henry just

made eagle scout you know i can't be a boy scout because i'm allergic to grass

bees and 11 kinds of bark so you guys

are a scouting couple do they have a special name for scouts who date trail

mixers trail mixers that is so adorable

Can you be a scout before you just start to feel ridiculous?

Sydney, will you help me with something in the kitchen?

We'll be right back.

Scout's honor.

What is wrong with you?

Nothing. We're just having fun.

You just can't stand it that there's a guy who isn't interested in you.

Oh, please. He is so interested in me, he can't take his eyes off of me.

Nobody can.

You're acting like an idiot.

Hayley, it's a little thing called the art of seduction, okay? Now you just

watch and learn.

Um, where's your brother?

Oh, they left.

So, who wants to be quiz master?

You go ahead, Sydney.

I'll just watch and learn.

when there's a bee on you.

Faith, I'm sorry.

I had no idea she was really crazy.

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

The last time I was shackled by my wrist to a wall, all I had to say was,

Senator, you're a bad...

Well, now, is there anything you'd like to say before?

Before what?

I kill you.

All right, Mrs. Rackett, you've made your point.

And we're sorry, but you're not really crazy enough to kill us because 20 years

ago we TP'd your house.

I have something I'd like to say.

Age before beauty, so kill hope first.

This is for my long...

for that again. I mean it!

Oh, wait, let me guess. Mrs.

Racket is behind me with an axe in her hand.

you shouldn't leave it on the top shelf of your closet, underneath those four

blankets, and inside that lockbox.

Cornelia, why did you double -cross me?

A chance to act with Faith Fairfield.

I mean, she has a daytime Emmy.

And plus, she threw in these sneakers.

Those are mine.

Don't worry.

They're the ones I peed in.

Edwin said he left his inhaler. Said it was on the coffee table.

Really?

Well, uh, come on in.

Oh, gee, that's... That's strange, you know? I don't see it there anywhere.

Are you sure that's what you came looking for?

What do you mean?

Look, we both know there's no inhaler.

You just came back to see me.

So...

Why don't I just make this a little less awkward for you?

Hey, Henry.

Here's Edwin's inhaler.

You know what?

Why don't I make this a little less awkward for you?

Good night.

What was that about?

That guy is so into me.

I can't.

Every night of my life, I still look in the closet and check under the bed.

You do?

Yeah. And I've been around three times.

Why? I just like being dizzy.

Look, I scared you. You scared me.

Let's make a pact to never scare each other again.

What do you think?

All right.

Oh,

turn out the lights and lock

the door. The seven dwarfs are after my candy.

And that dopey is a kicker.