Original subtitles

JUMA - A TERM USED IN THE BORDER REGIONS OF POLAND

WHICH MEANT COMMITTING A CRIME OF STEALING GOODS

FROM WESTERN STORES, MOSTLY GERMANY, ESPECIALLY WEST-BERLIN.

IT ALSO MEANT A SLAVIC AND JUST REDISTRIBUTION OF GOODS. - Wikipedia

Look boys, how the devil fucks!

POLISH - EAST GERMAN BORDER

Bajadera...

Zyga! Get down from there.

If they catch him, they'll hand him over to the Germans, and he'll get shot.

Zyga, you'll get shot too if they catch you.

Would a German save your ass?

- We'll take him to your place. - Are you nuts? How about your place?

- No way. You know my old man. - I pay you.

Majka!

We have an East German runaway.

Can you put him up for the night?

What?

He crossed the river. He needs to get to the West German embassy tomorrow.

What's she got to do with this? That's our German.

Where do you think you're going? I'm not throwing a party here.

I'll pick him up in the morning.

Hi, I'm Rysio. Get under the blanket.

Zyga...

Forget about it.

Money doesn't grow on trees, you know.

Beer maybe...

- In better days. - He's coming...

Run for it, Zyga.

Go, go, go!

Now!

What pretty boys.

- Anybody need a blowjob? - Sorry.

- Come on, man. - Are you good for it?

Got change?

Run for it, Zyga. Go!

She didn't have change.

What are you doing? Drive!

- Give her the money back! - Drive!

Why you don't show respect for a working girl?

FEW YEARS LATER

...today's generation of christians

The collapse of ideology in the countries of central and

eastern Europe has left many of your peers with feelings of profound emptiness,

What's up, Cochise?

How come you're squatting like a pussy?

...the sense that they've been cheated,

as well as dejection and apprehension.

Sorry, auntie.

No harm done...

Get this out of here. Zygmunt is learning a trade,

- he doesn't have to hustle. - Baking doughnuts, a man's trade?

Get real, sister in law.

The winds of change are blowing, and you want him locked up at home?

You need to take life into your own hands, right, Ziggy?

Stop being so clever, Halina! There's no way I'm letting him go.

You should have had a kid of your own...

Knock it off, both of you. Always the same bullshit.

Yeah? Who with? You see any real men around here?

Stop gawking. That tart's all plastic, trust your Auntie.

Enough of this TV.

Shit. Fuck you all!

The winds of change are blowing here, but only from the craphouse.

Majka!

She's a whore. Definitely.

How would you know?

So how come she looks like that? Where does she get those clothes from?

Damn, it's starting to piss me off. They had communism there too and now...

So? Uncle Helmut exchanged East Marks for West Marks

and now they're living in Eldorado.

How do you know?

I make it my business to know.

Fucking shit!

Goddamn Sofix shoes!

You won't get far in those fakes.

Happy now?

Are those real Adidas?

Yes.

How much for the Adis?

How much for the Adis?

You couldn't afford them even if you sold your mother.

Shall I whack him?

- How much for those shoes? - So I can get beer.

This was the last picture show in our theatre.

Oh well, everything changes.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Is this supposed to be a life, mom?

Look around. Is this the life I get?

Christ, what's that on your feet?

Take them off immediately.

Cardboard coffin shoes, for the dead...

They're all I got.

Ziggy!

Catch!

Zyga, got a smoke?

Fuck you.

Barry! Take it. Fuck...

Fetch!

Fuck... Move!

A little too much there, not enough here.

And me, I bring it all together...

Satisfying demand... And this is where it all evens out.

But I'm keeping the best hidden away for later, Ziggy.

Does your mother know you're here?

Never mind.

Come on!

You hide the boxes on the train just like I showed you.

The Polish border guys are on the take. The Germans won't check you.

There's a news stand at the station.

There you drop off the goods and take the money.

And then?

You get your cut and you visit Frankfurt.

May I?

Sure. Try them on.

How much?

200. 200 marks.

All I have is 60.

Give me your 60 and they're yours.

Will you be long?

Gimme a break, mom.

You'd rather I looked like a loser?

- What's up? - Hey.

- Let me help you with that. - No, thanks. I'll manage.

- No, seriously. Let me help. - No, thanks.

So long now!

This time...

I'm totally in love with you, Bajadera.

And I'm in love with you too.

Presents.

- Go on, take it. - Lord Almighty.

Holy fuck. Adis. Brand new...

What about me?

And for you...

Zyga... from where comes this richness?

Doris, Daisy, take care of the boys.

They can't be working on an empty stomach. They have hard work to do.

Come and chill out when you get back.

Now that's what I call hospitality.

Yeah... it's cool here!

And your auntie's not so bad herself. But uh...

just a little past her shelf life.

Hammer, man... You sure have a way with words...

What the hell is this English for?

Isn't that too much for one run?

You're the one who said to take matters into your own hands.

As long as nothing slips through your fingers.

Nothing's gonna slip.

But if something does slip, you just pick it up.

Hello, Mister mayor. Make yourself at home.

Ziggy?

Headed for the Reich?

Does your mother know you're here?

Sure. Well, happy shopping.

Get me something while you're at it.

And what do you need?

All...

...the best. All the best to you!

Thanks a lot.

Germans are people too, you know?

God bless you!

Hey, look. Yuma. Frankfurt is Yuma!

Cool shit!

But wasn't Yuma a prison?

It's a town, too.

But I remember it from the movie.

It was a prison.

It was a town, too. Let's go.

Beautiful, just beautiful!

Take a hike. It's what was at hand.

For my mom!

What else you got there?

Is it for me?

Nothing. It's for... my mom.

Let's go home.

What if they catch us?

Then just yell "Heil Hitler" and they'll let you go.

Heil Hitler! You can kiss my ass!

It's "arsch", man. We're in the Reich. They call it "arsch".

- What's harsh? - No, "arsch". It means ass in German.

- How would you know? - I make it my business to know.

I'm not gonna yell that.

What kind of a language is that, anyway?

Arsch, arsch... Up your arsch!

Ausweis, bitte.

What?

I meant Old Spice, bitte.

I've got some of that.

Well, I'll be damned...

How come you're so beat?

I was worried you might not be around.

No need to worry.

My buddies know you.

I told you Germans were people too, didn't I?

I didn't get it.

Next time then.

Bless you.

Hunchback German is going to see redhead Majka, I bet.

And after she will give head to him.

Shut up. She's not in your league.

Knock it off, will you?

Come and get it, you all.

Rysiek.

Shit, man.

Long time.

Sit down.

I didn't think you'd be coming back.

Me neither.

I was gonna go to Warsaw after school in Zielona.

Why Zielona? You ran off to go to school?

But they posted me here because I know the locals.

Zielona's a police school.

Hear that, Hammer? Rysio's gonna be staking you out.

Me? Just let him try.

Here's a coming-home present. Take it.

You got me wrong...

Watch out, Zyga. Watch out.

Don't you fucking think that...

I'm not thinking anything.

Nothing happened back there, man.

Everything happened there.

Watch it, Zyga.

You're assaulting a police officer now.

Be my guest.

Have you come to see me as well?

I brought something for you.

I'm busy right now. Come back in an hour. See you.

- Dad, I'll be needing the car again. - For how long?

About this long.

Check it out. Hunchback German.

This one from Brzegi.

You gonna boost the hunchback?

Zyga.

Zyga!

See? We again meet. In better times.

Good Germany, I good German.

- Tears. - Cheers!

Chills!

Have you been here long?

Not long. This store belonged to my parents.

Books won't get me rich, but...

We were supposed to have a drink in better days.

Yes, I know.

You're the only ones enjoying the better days though.

Zyga, ask him what he thinks when he hears "Warszawa".

Ask him yourself.

- Warszawa? - Yes, I know, capital of Poland.

No!

So, what does it make you think of?

What do you think of when you hear "Warszawa?"

What am I fucking supposed to think?

Well?

Warszawa... I don't know.

About war, uprising...

Fuck, no! W-arsch-awa...

Arsch.

Ah, arsch... ass. Ass, right?

Yes. Good.

Good, Helmut.

Cheers.

Chill out, there are no thieves here.

- Come on, it's Zyga. - So what?

Papers.

Leave me alone, Rysio. I'm not in the mood for jokes.

- You outta your mind, Rysio? - I'm not joking.

Please step out of the vehicle.

- Want me to stake him out? - Go for it before he gets Zyga.

Have you been drinking?

Fuck off, Rysio.

Get back inside the vehicle.

Which hand should I whack you with?

- Where are the keys? - What keys?

- The keys to the car. - Must have dropped them somewhere...

Fuck!

I hear you dressed up half the town already. What are you, Robin Hood?

Yes, Robin Hood. Take whatever you want.

What do you want from him? The boy's got a knack for business.

What's wrong with helping your family?

Don't you know that nobody makes monkey business without me here?

That includes you.

They want you to come down to the police station.

Come see me.

Auntie will take care of it.

Give me that.

The summons.

Done.

I hear you've been going to the Reich?

Yeah, for yard sales.

Get me a television set.

A big one.

As long as it's not German. Germans are only good for cars.

Halina!

I don't want that language here! Didn't I make myself clear?

Do you know how much they stole from us?

They owe us for wartime reparations.

Yes.

And who pulled out grandpa's gold teeth in Auschwitz?

Where do think the gold is at now?

Don't worry about the summons.

We're like family here.

And family comes first.

Right, Halinka?

Are you really buying from a German?

Load this up, will you?

Anybody needs a fridge?

For my mom!

This is major shit.

Come on, open up.

Open up.

So what am I supposed to do with all this?

Out of the car, gentlemen. We could use some help here.

Is that it?

Everybody's stealing along the border.

I need to send the goods inland. That costs money.

A sun bed isn't a tracksuit.

You get whatever you ask for. And our cut is getting smaller.

Aren't you the businessman.

What the hell...

We're family.

Listen, some people in Zielona want mountain bikes.

- Mountain bikes? - Guess they're trendy now.

Can you get some?

Yuma can get you anything.

Fuck this shit! All I do is haul stuff around.

Zyga, what am I? The post office?

No song, no supper.

What's that supposed to mean?

It's an old Polish saying.

Things have changed here.

It's colourful.

Pretty girls.

Just like home. A Volkswagen.

Look how cheap those 501s are.

Let's go inside.

You don't have to.

Don't you understand anything?

I really don't know how to put this, Mr. Zygmunt.

There's this machine, for analysing...

We could really use one in the health centre...

Kula, write down the exact name of this thing.

I'm sure we can find one somewhere.

Let's go.

Sit down.

Well? Let's have a drink. On better times.

Nice dress.

Kula, write it down! The reverend wants a mountain bike!

Where'd he tell you that, at Mass?

Nah, Halinka's.

You're not that hard to find.

Even though you don't answer your summons.

When people want something, they come to me...

and I get it for them.

What is it you want, Rysio?

Rysio? Is that Rysio? Yes?

That's not Rysio, that's a cop.

"Hund" in German.

You're just an ordinary thief.

What are you staring at?

Get the fuck out of here in that dress!

Majka!

What a surprise. Boys...

Relax, I just wanted to say hello.

I come back from Afganistan and I hear Zyga this, Zyga that.

So I wanted to get to know you...

But we've already met.

Let bygones be bygones.

Zyga, we must...

We need to talk.

You fuck the bull, you'll get the horns.

- Hello? - Greetings, Zyga.

Hear that bird?

Tell your homies that Opat is in town.

You have to finish with yuma. Now my alcohol flows across the border.

If not...

What do you have against that boy?

Where'd you get that?

"Nike" stole it, Mr. Zygmunt.

So, are you going to introduce me?

Who are you talking to? There's two of us here.

You're hiding the German again?

I'm moving out.

Where to?

But Majka, I'd do anything for you.

Just tell me what it is you want.

The dummy will get it for you.

I want Prince Charming on a white horse

to come and take me away from here.

That's supposed to be him?

We're meeting at the border at 10.

And what if we have to grease the border pigs again?

No sweat. They're taken care of.

But I like to have a good time after work.

No problem, the bitches are lined up.

Zyga!

Will you get a line?

Ziggy, the one I asked for...

I don't know if it's me or...

Mom, I'll bring you a VCR. You can record it, and it'll be like real life.

And what do you need it for?

You should have the Pope in you heart. Better bring something decent.

It's Halina! Look at that ride.

It's a gift from your auntie.

You like it?

I bought it. So you can drive your auntie around in style.

Are we taking him along?

Why should he stay alone at home all day? Also he gets on dad's nerves.

Okay, I'll go pee at your mama's.

Fine.

The dummy brought this?

He bought it.

It's beautiful.

I guess your prince must be taking a nap now?

Come with me.

I'm never going back there.

No. Let go.

- Help! Hilfe! - Maja!

Screw this!

You're back. Did you bring it?

Did I bring what?

To watch the Pope, you were supposed to get this thing...

You forgot, right? Don't deny it.

Beautiful, just beautiful. Like father, like son.

Nobody ever listens to what I say. You promised and now you forgot.

You don't have any respect for me. It's not how I'd raised you.

And I do everything for you. Who else does the washing, the cooking? Who...

Mom...

Leave me the fuck alone!

Like there's anything wrong with me?

Your boobs are okay, so are your legs.

- Pretty face. - I don't know what the problem is.

But I love him.

This is bullshit.

I told you, didn't I? You should be driving me around instead.

You and that pole were made for each other.

Did you like it?

Sure, come.

How much?

Ziggy, you must be hungry.

I made you some chicken soup...

We'll turn this place into...

El Dorado.

- The foreign force has seized! - We shall retrieve!

- The foreign force has seized! - We shall retrieve!

Szar�w takes the electronics!

Rzepin the perfume!

Marki the CDs!

How do you like my alcohol?

Strange.

We did the same when we were leaving for Afghanistan...

You're going to war?

Many guys didn't come back.

If this business falls through...

The fellas that will come to town...

They'll waste everybody.

You...

Me...

Your mother, your father, and that red-haired whore of yours too...

Game over, Zyga.

We need order on the border.

Zyga, what about Brzegi?

What's Brzegi gonna lift?

Things are bad.

They're watching us.

The Russian trucks have stopped.

Fuck! I'm not risking my ass for a fucking microwave.

One of our guys crashed a jeweler's in the Reich.

Move out. I'll be in touch.

Fuck me...

There must be a million bucks right here.

Bronek stole a ring of gold.

They locked him up with no parole.

- Local taxes. - All right.

But you'd better keep your mugs shut. I leave it to you, Bronek!

Make sure the boys don't get hurt.

Get to work, girls!

I told you I was saving the best for last.

Awesome.

Well?

Come here.

How do you spell it?

Well?

Fuck, it's two words. El Dorado.

They are making a fool out of me.

Get the fuck out of here. By tomorrow, I want it to be two words.

Come on, Kula, before I fuck him up.

Shit, Zyga...

That's no way to treat your friends.

We're getting the fuck out of here!

Kula, do you get a hard-on when you yuma?

That's my private business!

Do you?

Yes.

There wasn't even a hearing?

We have to do something for these Polish kids. You know what I mean?

Stop! Okay, boys...

After 24 hours your therapy will be finished.

Understood?

Open up!

Go inside!

Is that clear?

El Dorado... is open!

Bang, bang! Rock and roll!

- Grab her. - No.

No, no!

No. I can't.

Hold on! I'm not done yet.

We brought you your whore.

C'mon Red, show me what you've got.

Halina...

Pass the glasses.

Glasses!

Where are you going? The party's just getting started.

Drinks are on me!

You know what the worst thing is?

What?

Getting eaten by a shark.

What shark?

Not here. Just in general.

Yeah?

I saw it in a book.

This one dude got his leg bitten off.

So?

Just a stump was left...

There was a picture of the shark. It was as big as Barry...

It kinda got to me.

It's not like it liked the leg or anything.

Tires, chains, fuckin' shoes... Sharks eat everything.

Then they just wave their tail and fuck off underwater.

You know how ugly their snouts are?

I'm not ever going into the water without a knife.

You know what the worst kind of shark is? Do you?

What?

You gotta know. Didn't it say?

Stop, or I'll fuck you up.

Hammer! Hammer head sharks.

With this hammer on their mugs. As big as Barry.

Kula, man, why are you so mean to me?

Because I like you.

- Heavy artillery? - Frag bombs armed!

- Fire! - Fire!

You've been asleep for two days.

Where'd you get that?

They're all over the place.

You never stole anything.

It's all just been yuma from the Germans.

I've brought a thief in.

Zyga, stop fucking around!

Where's Rysio?

You don't know? He's gone to the silos. There's a shoot-out there.

The bicycle's coming back! Fuck.

Stop fooling around, boys, or you'll burn in hell.

You're the one who's gonna burn.

You shouldn't be playing with matches like that.

Open the door!

What are you doing? What the...

If you hadn't tried to steal from that whore,

none of this would have happened.

You fuck the bull...

you get the horns.

THE END

Film inspired by real events.

Many thanks to cuma67 for doing the ground work

Fine-tuning of all timings and corrections by SmallBrother