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Giddap!
Giddap! Hiyah!
Hiyah! Ha! Giddap!
Hyah! Hyah!
♪ On the stagecoach run to Dancers' Rock ♪
♪ The passenger list was six ♪
♪ There were two young ladies and four strong men ♪
♪ And they raced against the clock ♪
♪ On their way to Dancers' Rock ♪
♪ The two men drivin' the stagecoach run ♪
♪ Were killed by the Indians' bow ♪
♪ The others fought among themselves ♪
♪ As Apaches watched from below ♪
♪ The stage to Dancers' Rock ♪
♪ On each new day a passenger died ♪
♪ By arrow, knife and gun ♪
♪ They buried each other on the trail ♪
♪ And their graves still burn in the sun ♪
♪ On the trail to Dancers' Rock ♪
♪ Now all this happened years ago ♪
♪ In 1873 ♪
♪ The folks out west still sing about ♪
♪ The stagecoach mystery ♪
♪ In the "Ballad of Dancers' Rock" ♪
♪ "The Ballad of Dancers' Rock"
Whoa!
Now you folks has 15 minutes for grub and such.
You'll find everything you need in the hotel yonder.
They assured us in Tombstone that we would have at least 35 minutes...
to refresh ourselves here in Tucson.
We're apparently well behind schedule, Mr. Best.
I suppose we'll have to wait till Fort Yuma.
Odious highway robbers. Drunken coachmen.
Wretched land.
Surely this is not the sentiment of a dedicated Indian agent.
The Apache Nation deserves much more from you, sir.
Notorious breed.
Mind if I move in, Whip?
Well, now, you appear plumb sassy.
I wager you ran into a real mean scalpin' party...
and killed off all your sweet passengers.
By mistake, of course.
It weren't no sweatin' Apaches.
We met up with three mean hombres lookin' for gold.
Got theirselves shot and scared up good.
High-tailin' it for Mexico now, I figure.
I'm wagerin' it's that stink you're wearin' that drove 'em off.
What have you got for me?
You got right smart of two dudes and one big-eyed female.
Two to Frisco and one to Fort Yuma.
-Is the filly pretty? -Well, now, I don't mean nothin.
Anyhow, she's got slit-eyes for the cavalry major with the dear yellow bandanna.
He could be tricky.
Well, he ain't ridin' no horse,
and I ain't gonna be blowin' no bugle.
That yellow gal out there ridin' with you?
She paid her hundred gold.
I'm also haulin' that tinhorn gambler, Dade Coleman.
Sheriff wants him took into Apache country. Further, the better.
Yellow women. Huh!
Only white, full-blooded United States rides in my coach.
Now you won't forget to write, will you, Loi Yan?
Often, Mai Lei. And you write too, Ah Ling.
Perhaps one day soon you come to San Francisco to visit me, huh?
Would you like that?
Tell Aunt Loi Yan that would make you very happy, dear.
I don't want you to go, Aunt Loi Yan.
Time's up! All them that's ridin' the 4:00 west...
best get himself out here!
You ridin' shotgun with me, boss?
Wouldn't be much of a division agent if I didn't look things over once in a while.
Besides, these ain't cigarette papers I'm takin' to the Yuma Bank.
You sure you ain't been lookin' over one of my female passengers?
Lookin' over never did buckshot a man's backside.
Whilst you round up the strays, I'll step into Pete's and get me a travelin' bottle.
Right.
Fifteen minutes. Bah!
We didn't even have time to shoo the flies away from that rancid food.
It was bad, wasn't it?
And I haven't had any fresh fruit since St. Louis.
Ah, my zealous warder.
Now what mundane curiosity fetches you?
Let's go, Coleman.
Deliverin' me to the mob?
You're leavin' town.
This is to be a one-way trip, I suppose.
I ordered Whip to see that you get at least as far as Fort Yuma.
And from there, I suggest you just keep on going.
Loaded?
Not this time, Sheriff.
It wouldn't amuse me.
I'll give you what's left of your cheatin' money.
Ma'am.
Ho!
♪ Now all this happened years ago ♪
♪ In 1873 ♪
♪ The folks out west still sing about ♪
♪ The stagecoach mystery ♪
♪ In the "Ballad of Dancers' Rock" ♪
♪ "The Ballad of Dancers' Rock"
I have never been so grossly abused...
as in the course of this disgusting transit.
Life is a process of accommodation, Mr. Best.
There are times when we must rise to an heroic level...
in this chronicle of wasted time.
Won't you agree, uh, Miss Thompson?
I'm afraid this is a journey I wouldn't care to make often, Mr. Coleman.
An angel in another's hell.
Yet how fortunate for us.
Both of you charming ladies have our profound sympathies.
-Right, Major? -This is my first trip west.
And 25 days in this contraption calls for considerable stamina.
How's the medical reading progressing, Doctor?
I'm afraid you're somewhat premature, John.
My first class doesn't convene until autumn.
To be a physician-- how proud you must be.
Is it in San Francisco that you will study?
Why, yes. Cooper Medical College.
-Are you familiar with it? -Oh, yes. It is one of the best.
Woman's suffrage. Female doctors.
Half-castes with college educations.
I tell you it's immoral, and it should be condemned.
I'm a full-blooded Chinese, Mr. Best.
My father is a man of the sea and proud.
Thus I am proud. To learn gives me pride also.
Oh, there's nothing personal, mind you.
I'm merely interested in principles, not people.
I'm fully acquainted with these matters. In fact, I--
Enough of your recital, Mr. Best.
What duplicity and hypocritical class-conscious snobbery.
We will dispense with your little hour of wrath.
When in the devil are we gonna have another rest stop?
Ain't no more. Dinner in about an hour at Stone Reservoir.
Get your head back in there.
Rest stop. These dudes.
Give me a full load of Apache squaws compared to these weak-bellies.
Yeah, that red-lipped girlie is sure enough fetchin'.
I bet you couldn't check her with a three-quarter rope and a snubbin' post.
But I sure aim to try before we sight Flint Creek.
You better keep your eye on that Dade Coleman.
He's always got his brandin' iron ready for these big, sassy fillies.
Ah, I don't care if them two is chewin' tobacco from the same plug.
Me and that gal's gonna powwow. Ho! Ho!
This is hardly a repast one might beam over.
I'm not hungry.
Really.
A soft bed and a good night's sleep would be heavenly right now.
Who was it once said,
"Most women feel at home only in bed"?
Just to be able to sleep is all I could ask for.
I concur. It has been a shocking experience.
But some of us must resign ourselves to sacrifice...
in bringing enlightenment to the uncivilized, the untutored.
It has its rewards.
Fortune favors the bold, eh, Hiram?
It's readily apparent from your accoutrement, sir,
that you have little compassion for anything,
much less for the barbarians who roam this godless plain.
My philosophy is personal, Mr. Best.
None of it is based on the illiterate shouts...
of Tucson wood peddlers nor itinerant politicians.
I am not a politician.
I am an accredited representative of our sovereign government...
assigned to bring godly ways to the savages.
Well, credentials are just so much paper talk out here where so few can read.
If the ladies will excuse me.
You know, there's little sense in provoking him, Coleman.
He's just a frightened man with a hatred for anything he can't understand.
All men are frightened-- sometimes turn coward--
when they come face-to-face with the thing they fear.
Would you care to join me in a short walk before our departure, Miss Wu?
Yes. Thank you.
Oh, I wouldn't worry. She's probably fawning over some opium-eater in San Francisco.
That's a disgusting thing to say.
John is merely being gracious.
After all, Loi Yan is so young. She's-- She's so fragile.
What makes you think there could ever be anything...
-between John and Loi Yan? -Why, I didn't.
What I said was merely a horseback opinion.
Anyway, it's quite clear that your major is thinkin' of sparkin' that girl.
He's probably frightened to death of medicine and jackknife surgery.
So many men,
so many minds.
I'm sure you're not havin' very much trouble reading mine.
-Enjoyin' your trip, ma'am? -Come now, sir.
You can't describe traveling an enjoyment.
I reckon that depends mostly on who you're travelin' with.
Some folks just naturally hightail it for ornery reasons.
Well, Mr. Coleman has already explained to us...
that the sheriff at Tucson isn't much of a gambler.
Did he also tell you how some hombre's skinnin' knife...
put a hole in his dealin' hand?
Well, the aristocracy of frontier justice...
insist upon making me...
a social cripple.
I suppose love is the last pursuit open to me.
You should take up the sand and quill.
Your words have the sting of the poet.
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate."
Some dears sure has pretty speeches.
What a full-blooded gal needs is a doin' man.
It's a big world, Mr. Mott,
made up of all manner of men.
Yeah.
And it sure is one long dang way to Fort Yuma.
Them deserts is pretty mean to a sweet gal travelin' all alone,
what with Apaches and all.
That's why they hire you unemployed gunmen as drivers.
No, I'm, uh--
I'm afraid Miss Ann needs a little more subtlety to amuse her.
Right, Doc?
I, uh-- I never would have thought you to be a librarian, Miss Wu.
-In-- In San Francisco? -At the What Cheer House.
I've been employed there since my graduation some two years ago.
Well, Sacramento's not too far away.
Perhaps I could call on you. I'm quite an avid reader.
You honor me, Major Southern.
Are you to remain in Sacramento long?
Why, yes. I'm on an extended special assignment from Fort Larned.
Oh. I see.
Don't get itchy this time.
You make your move at Apache Pass, not before.
I'll see you, Jess.
Gracias, señora.
Let's skedaddle, Quint. This weather isn't gonna wait for us.
See you in four weeks.
Time's up!
It was that atrocious swill they placed before us at Stone Reservoir...
that has made her ill.
This trip will be the death of all of us yet. You mark my words.
Loi Yan hardly touched that food. None of us did.
I'm ashamed. Forgive me.
It's nothing. Please don't worry.
Well, perhaps we'd better have the driver stop for a few minutes.
- Please, no. - It will pass.
These Orientals have a stoic ability to withstand the most hideous sicknesses.
Don't you ever shut up, Indian agent?
We should be in Black Mesa in a while.
If by then she isn't feeling better,
well, I'll see to it that we stay there until she does.
Is it serious, Ann?
I just don't know.
She can't seem to throw off this lethargy.
I think I'd better examine her a little more thoroughly.
-Well? -Miss Thompson is examining her.
What the devil's been going on around here the last three hours anyway?
I'm not holdin' up any longer.
If that China female ain't up to travelin', we're goin' on without her.
We're stayin' right here until Ann says different.
-Now just a damn minute. -That's it, mister. We wait.
I say leave 'em both here. Let 'em catch the next coach.
If you aren't extremely careful,
you aren't gonna make it to Castle Dome Reservation, Mr. Government Man.
Is she going to be all right?
Well, she's running a temperature.
But I can't seem to find the reason for it.
I wanted to put her to bed, but she insists on going on.
Better get them horses harnessed. We gotta catch up on our schedule.
Right, Quint.
Hitch up them teams. We gotta get out of here.
Hiyah!
Pull 'em up, Whip. We'll give 'em a rest stop.
Besides, my legs could use a stretch.
Hell, Quint, it ain't but a hoot and a holler to Flint Creek.
Pull 'em up! Besides, them mustangs are pretty winded. Whoa.
We're startin' to pull up.
Thank goodness.
I'm afraid Loi Yan couldn't stand much more of this punishment.
I don't like the look of that rash on her face.
We only have your opinion-- such as it is-- that it ischicken pox.
Ann says it's chicken pox, and that's good enough for me.
Well, I don't like it. After all, she's hardly qualified--
Arguing isn't going to solve anything, gentlemen.
We're sittin' over for a spell. Don't anybody stray off. We're in Apache country.
I don't want you scarin' up any Indians.
And what's them spots on her face?
Why, that looks like-- What's bitin' you?
It's the pox. She's got herself smallpox.
The girl has chicken pox. It's nothing to be alarmed about.
I'll be damned if you ain't right. It's the pox, sure as shootin'.
We gotta get her out of here quick-- before we're all dead men.
Get that female out of there now!
And I don't favor no back talk.
You're mistaken, Mr. Mott. The young lady obviously has picked up the chicken pox.
-Probably from her young niece . -It's the pox.
She's dyin', and she's gotta get burnt,
or we'll all wind up with the plague.
Yes, we have no pesthouse here. I say dispose of her.
Get her out of there. I ain't dyin' for no yellow woman.
- Right? - Hold it!
Well, mister, we got no money, but we sure as hell got the pox.
Come on. Come on. Take my poke.
We been exposed to the pox for two days.
Well, what are you waitin' for? Come on. Get part of it.
You wanna get us all killed?
Let him go, Whip!
He'll still be runnin' when he passes Veracruz.
One could think that you and that hombre were cut from the same deck.
You've been livin' a long spell for a man that runs off at the mouth so much.
You or somebody's gonna get that female out of that coach, pronto.
It's true I'm not yet a doctor.
But I've been reading medicine for many years.
And Loi Yan's illness could be diagnosed by any mother...
-that just happened to-- -Pox is pox, and we're leavin' .
Puttin' her off the coach ain't gonna solve nothin'.
Not now.
I bow to the lady's opinion. Leastwise till we can see a doc.
There's no doc between Tucson and Fort Yuma.
By that time, we'll all be dead.
There's an old padre at Dancers' Rock that savvies doctorin'.
Nevertheless, we've been exposed, all of us.
I keep trying to tell you this is not the smallpox.
I, for one, am not returning to that vehicle.
Then walk!
There's a lot of desert between here and Black Mesa.
Ahead are your uncouth savages.
The sun, the pox, the Indians--
one or more will kill you.
Fortunately.
Well, I ain't makin' no more stops for that female.
Yeah, I seen a plague of pox down in New Orleans once.
Them dead bodies, they stunk up that town somethin' fierce.
Even those that lived,
ah, they weren't pretty to see no more,
especially the womenfolk.
There they be.
They's comin', Jude-- hell-bent for leather!
Come on!
Looks like we got us a welcomin' committee.
Yeah. The teams are still in the corral.
We're so far behind schedule, I'm surprised they aren't all hid away sleepin'.
Just keep right on travelin', Whip.
What do you mean? What's going on here?
We ain't looking for no pox hereabouts. Now just ride out quick-like.
What the devil you talkin' about, Jude?
I'm talkin' about a sweat-scared hombre...
that rode through here yellin' "Plague!"
-He was nothin' but a thievin' road agent. He-- -You shut up in there.
You serious, Jude? Are you gonna listen to a road agent...
who got beat out of his-- You're carryin' dyin' passengers.
Now there won't be no more talk. Throw the whip to 'em.
We got spent horses. We got no food, and the water's gettin' low.
Hell, man. It's 65 miles to Dancers' Rock.
-Open desert. -Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
It's true. She's got the pox. And this one's lying.
She's trying to kill us. I'm from the United States government.
Shut up. Get yourself back in that there stage.
But I'm an envoy. I-- I've got credentials. Look. From the Apache Nation.
Now get in there, or you're one dead hombre.
Well, I--
Now you git.
Division agent or not.
Git!
Hiyah! Hiyah!
Hiyah!
Hiyah! Hiyah!
Hiyah!
Pull 'em up, Whip. This spot looks as good as any.
Sure they won't think somethin's up?
They'll think we're just stoppin' to rest the horses again.
Doesn't matter what them dudes think.
'Sides, they'll have plenty of time for thinkin' later. Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa!
-What is it? -Well, the horses have probablyd to move another step.
-I gotta have water. -Shouldn't we do something abou-
She looks terribly cramped.
We're restin' the horses. Take all the time you want.
-Here, Ann. I'll take her. -Thank you, John.
She'll be all right. Couple days, she'll be as good as new.
Wonderful. What about us?
Now. Hey!
Hiyah!
-Go! Hey! Hey! -Ha!
Ha!
Well, this is gonna be a mighty long rest stop.
-Now what do we do? -We don't have very much choice.
Well, Major?
Food, water, shelter and destination.
Well, we can't go back to Flint Creek.
Even if we made it, wouldn't be welcome there.
And our scheming friends will undoubtedly warn them at Dancers' Rock.
Yet there's cactus country up ahead.
That means nourishment.
There might even be water and animal life.
Mostly Apaches.
And they're partial to white-faced womenfolk.
I say we take the risk-- steer for Dancers' Rock.
Yeah. We-- We'd probably have a better chance of meeting up with a stage,
what with the silver rush to Tombstone.
I wouldn't count on that.
Could be a week, 10 days, probably longer.
It's all right, Ann.
Try to hold on till nightfall, and we'll get some rest.
And the dyin' man relished his final smoke.
What?
A last cigar is like a-- like a condemned man's last meal.
Doesn't really need it or want it.
That little light you're makin' can be seen a long ways in Apache country.
"'Tis not enough thy council still be true.
Blunt truths more mischief than nice falsehoods do."
The dark and brooding night,
where nature slumbers not,
and heaven is a vast door to receive my dust.
With a little luck, we'll make it.
Oh, certainly. We'll correct old Brother Time and regulate the stars. Hmm.
How do you feel, Ann?
Hungry and thirsty.
So thirsty.
She sleeps... while we're dying.
Well, our old friend the coyote doesn't figure us to be outcasts.
That ain't no coyote.
Do you think they've seen us?
We'll sure enough know at sunup.
Apaches?
Not more than a hatchet throw away, probably.
I hope they're doin' a rain dance.
I haven't got my raincoat.
Everything I had was on that coach.
Yeah.
There are a lot of valuable things on that coach.
Including money.
I wonder whatever happened to your panic-stricken friend, Dollard.
You know the one I mean-- the fellow with the bandanna over his face.
Yeah, I figured your play, at Stone Reservoir.
But I must admit you had me fooled for a moment.
I didn't recognize you without your guns.
You know,
they got an amusing little, uh, rhyme in Tucson, Ann.
And I quote:
"Something's pretty smelly and underhand...
when old Quint Rucker's a-guardin' your money on the Overland."
Hey.
How come you boys didn't go through with it, huh?
You're dwellin' powerful heavy on somethin'...
that ain't none of your business.
I think we'd better all try and get some sleep.
Isn't that enough for a while?
Well, it may slake the thirst, but it doesn't do much for the appetite.
It's kept better men alive, and for better reasons.
Here.
Has it helped?
I'm beginning to feel as though I'll see San Francisco someday.
It was my fault. My weakness shames me.
Well, now, that's not true at all.
Chicken pox is something that could happen to any one of us.
Yet misfortunes never come singly.
Yeah, and we're having 'em.
Like the echoes of some eager lovers' foolish litany.
Tonight in Tombstone,
they'll probably dance the stars right out of our sky.
Life is history, not poetry, Mr. Coleman.
The rest of us are prepared to face what lies ahead.
Well, with-- with a front quarter of steer in my stomach--
I suppose I could rise to an heroic level.
There it is.
There it is!
There! Look!
There! Look.
It's-- It's the stagecoach.
Come on. Come on! Before the horses are--
What is it, Jess?
I don't rightly know.
But them buzzards ain't just exercising.
Over there.
No need to hurry.
We just ain't soon enough.
Or maybe too soon.
Hiram! Hiram! Rucker! Where is everybody?
It's Dade Coleman!
Wait here.
We'll have to bury him in a sack.
It's bad, isn't it?
As bad as an Apache can make it.
Oh, what a stench.
It's shelter. We'll clean it up.
They were looking for horses and guns.
Hmm.
Must have been quite a set-to.
There's a dozen or so burned Apaches out there.
Burned?
Apaches always burn their dead.
They haven't been gone long.
It appears they were here one, two days, maybe.
They? Will they be back?
Not if we're careful.
They've had their funnin'.
That, uh, signal smoke yonder...
is doing business with a fire farther west,
between here and Dancers' Rock.
Well, then obviously we can't go on.
I highly advise against it.
I reckon we'll be safe enough if we set here a spell.
We'll be mighty careful.
But we'll starve to death.
Without food we can't exist indefinitely.
I'm told that roasted mescal leaves are palatable--
if we can find any mescal.
There'll be food-- for them that ain't too particular.
Won't those Indians ever sleep?
Those are coyotes.
Them you heard a while back was wolves.
They'll be moving in.
I suppose that man has many faults,
but he's certainly a godsend to us.
Yes. He is strong.
Is that true that he is a... robber?
I don't know. He didn't say.
But good or bad, I respect him.
Great men never appear singly, John.
Under the circumstances, Mr. Coleman appears to be quite active.
He should. He's hardly lifted his hand all day.
He cares only for himself-- and bothering Ann.
Well, John, if you will excuse me, I think I'll retire.
I'm suddenly very tired.
Well, perhaps sleep will ease this pain.
He was just making big talk.
You weren't really going to rob the stagecoach.
You seem pretty sure about things.
I am sure, Jess--
at least about you.
Why, you underhanded--
- What is it? - Coleman's been hiding a canteen!
Easy now.
Not too much.
There.
Drink.
Easy, Ann. Too much is worse than none.
Small swallow.
Enough left for two days, maybe, if we're careful.
No wonder he spent so much time on the top of that coach.
Do you mean he's had water all this time?
What happened?
You're still living.
Now you crawl into that coach and you stay there.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not crawling into that stinking mess.
He's pretty big. Make right fine eatin'.
Of course, he'd be better cooked.
Pistol shot's hard to place, but we can't chance a fire.
You're-- You're not going to ea--
Raw?
Never.
Well, I'll skin him anyway. You might change your mind in a day or so.
You get up there.
I'll tell you when to come down.
You ladies be careful. Them snakes like to forage at night.
You-- You've killed him.
It was him or me.
No!
If you want him, you can have him.
You're two of a kind.
Just keep him out of my way.
Back away from there.
Now!
Get in there.
Whoa-ho-ho!
Mr. Dollard.
I like my women to eat well.
You're gonna fix us up a nice rabbit stew.
I'd ask you to join us, Dollard,
but as you can see, there's hardly enough for one.
Your man's not looking so good.
You got yourself a-- a bad, bad bargain.
Take off his boots.
Now give the boots to Ann.
Now, because you were so gracious, I--
I have a little surprise for you.
Your favorite delicacy.
Tourniquet!
Woman, get over here!
Now, look. You--
You stay away from him.
Ow!
Now get over there! Build a fire and fix that rabbit!
You must eat, Loi Yan. Please.
It will only bring you more trouble, Ann.
He'll never miss it.
Besides, he can't eat.
He's got the chicken pox.
He'll be flat on his back before another day passes.
Hide it.
How'd you get it?
Never mind, Jess.
How do you feel? Can you move your leg all right?
I can move enough to get to that coach.
Tonight.
Eat it all. I'm sorry it can't be more, but...
he finished the water two days ago.
That'll help slow him up. Where is he?
Right here.
I told you the other day to keep away from these people.
Now this isn't gonna happen again. Now you get back to the coach.
What are you going to do?
They're gonna die anyway!
Then kill me too!
Shut up!
And do as you're told! Get back to the coach!
Okay. Now you'll get your chance.
Both of you, up on your feet.
Get up or you'll die where you are!
Oh, what a touching scene from one who's responsible for all this.
Now, look. Over there is a river.
About a hundred miles.
If you walk fast, you might make it!
And watch out for snakes.
Go on! Get moving!
Go on!
What will we do after you--
You understand, Loi Yan, I have to kill him.
Yes.
We must help Ann.
Is it then so easy to kill?
For some, maybe.
I don't rightly know. I never killed a man.
Except in the war.
I'm glad, Jess.
Perhaps you don't have to kill him.
We'll see tonight.
I reckon the answer's up there.
I lost my knife. Where's my knife? You seen it?
No. No!
"No, no!" Liar! Oh--
What's the use? You're too stupid to know anything.
I ought to make you walk to San Francis--
It's the Tucson stage!
Oh, thank you, Lord.
Thank you.
Will that town clown of a sheriff be surprised to see me!
I just don't believe it.
Sheriff.
Over here! Here! Here!
Hey! Hey--
Here! Here!
Here! Here! It's me!
Come on! Over here! Here!
Come on! Over here! Over here!
Here! It's me!
Here! Here!
Here!
Here!
The game was just too big for him.
His was a tale of little meaning.
But the words were strong.
God put his best jewels in his finest cabinets.
She would have been such a fine doctor.
You ready?
Yes.
Comfortable?
Yes.
And I'm not afraid, Jess.
We're just startin'.
It's a long ride to Dancers' Rock.
Longer still to Fort Yuma.
What's happened was just the beginning.
Yesterday is done, and nothing more.
We'll see San Francisco.
I know it.
Best hang on tight.
♪ If awful troubles come your way ♪
♪ And you don't know what to do ♪
♪ Remember ♪
♪ What Confucius say ♪
♪ Let his wisdom see you through ♪
♪ Confucius say you wear a smile ♪
♪ Whatever may befall ♪
♪ Have patience and in just a while ♪
♪ Your smile ♪
♪ Will conquer all
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