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1
00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,217
Ashley?
2
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,944
Look, pop,
I know you don't want me here.
3
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,154
Well, you know where the door is.
4
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,072
Ruby: You've seen how powerful
my children have become.
5
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,575
We gotta retrieve that necronomicon
before they get their hands on it.
6
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,768
- Where'd you put it?
- Kelly: The best hiding place
7
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:20,354
you could think of
was a fucking corpse?!
8
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,109
This town is only big enough
for one asshole... me.
9
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,487
- We gotta get out of here.
- Kelly: Stop!
10
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,197
Beat it. Roads are for cars.
11
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,925
Fuck you!
You need to watch where you're going!
12
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,343
But I don't see the book.
Where is it?
13
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,577
It's locked up in the delta,
safe and sound.
14
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:36,995
- Jefe, it's the delta!
- Hey!
15
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:47,673
I only you j“
16
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:53,220
j“ cared when I needed a friend j“
17
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:59,226
j“ believed in me
through thick and thin j”
18
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,229
I this song is for you I
19
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:09,111
I filled with gratitude and love... I
20
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:11,947
miss you, baby.
21
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,657
Look at him.
22
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,904
Man, that car's been with him
through thick and thin.
23
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:19,371
War and peace.
It was his everything.
24
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:23,166
I mean, it didn't even
have a cd player, though.
25
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,252
True that.
26
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,046
But he loved it.
27
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,680
Girl: I cannot believe you guys
jacked this from ashy slashy.
28
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,807
- Are you insane?
- Boy: 0h, relax.
29
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,892
That's all just an urban myth.
30
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,854
Okay, not what I meant, you know.
31
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:47,041
My dad's the sheriff, it's not a great
look if I get busted for Grand Theft Auto.
32
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:50,152
It's not grand theft
if the car's worth $30.
33
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,529
Look, I just
don't want to give my dad
34
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,340
another reason
to get pissed off, you guys.
35
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,844
He's been totally on edge
ever since this ash guy came to town.
36
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,327
Lace, don't stress.
37
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,287
All right,
after we smoke this dude's stash,
38
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,414
we'll dump his piece-of-shit car
somewhere.
39
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:06,126
- No one will ever know about it.
- Okay, cut it out, Tyler.
40
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,294
Sorry.
41
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,541
It doesn't help that
your pervert friend is watching.
42
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,214
Lacey: Eww!
43
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,550
Fine, but I'm taking the weed.
44
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,677
Wait up.
45
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,015
Come on, pervert.
46
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,397
I precious friend... I
47
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,073
Hey, didn't your mom
used to bone old hatchet hand?
48
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,950
- Uh...
- It's a chainsaw, brah.
49
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,161
No, they were just friends, eww.
50
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,080
She totally banged him.
51
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:47,084
She was like, “oh, ashy slashy!"
52
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,628
Eww, cut it out! God.
53
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:56,426
Uh, let's take a break.
You need to cool off.
54
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,762
Well, hey...
55
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:03,433
I think we should both be able
to express our feelings physically.
56
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,729
Oh, god.
I've never met anyone like you.
57
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:13,151
"Verata..."
58
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,530
"Kanda..."
59
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:22,327
- I guess what I'm trying to say is...
- "...Misartra..."
60
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:26,373
"Me-stro-bean."
61
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,751
Oh, holy shit!
62
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,795
What the fuck was that?!
63
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,173
- I love you, too.
- Huh?
64
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,343
But the car, and uh...
65
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,847
Uh... never mind.
66
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,101
Oh, yeah.
67
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,395
Oh, yeah.
68
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,147
Whoa! Fuck!
69
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,065
Ah, what the fu...
70
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,412
- Time to go.
- Go where?
71
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,623
Get the necronomicon back
before it falls into the wrong hands.
72
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,352
- Ash: What do you think you're doing?
- Ruby: Fixing your mistake.
73
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:12,836
Ash: I don't think so, bossy.
74
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:16,339
This is my team,
and they go where I tell them, not you.
75
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,674
Forget the stupid book.
76
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,986
Chasing that thing's
only going to give you a leg cramp.
77
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,678
You don't know
what you're talking about.
78
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,180
Oh, I don't?
79
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,783
You're the one who grew up
your entire life looking for that book,
80
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,142
and you never found it.
81
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:30,687
Me on the other hand, I can't fart
without tripping over that thing.
82
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,063
And I fart a lot.
83
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,732
All right, then, please tell me
84
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:36,026
what is your genius plan
for getting the book back?
85
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,195
Oh, I'll tell you.
First things first.
86
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,446
Uh...
87
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,337
Kelly:
What the hell is pink fuck?
88
00:04:55,504 --> 00:05:00,175
Pink fuck is a proprietary mix
of liqueurs and spirits
89
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:03,345
garnished with orange rind,
and, um, nutmeg.
90
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,931
Oh, and...
91
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,267
There's a shit ton of ketamine in it.
92
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,602
Got it.
93
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:13,063
Uh, second question,
who the hell is this guy?
94
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,358
Well, come on, seriously?
You've never heard me talk about Chet?
95
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,026
"No fret Chet?" My main man?
96
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,612
- My number one partner...
- Both: In crime!
97
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,489
Never formally charged.
98
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,136
Back in high school,
me and Chet, man,
99
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,034
we used to throw
the most righteous parties.
100
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:29,246
People would come from
far and wide for a taste of sweet...
101
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,081
Both: Pink fuck!
102
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,917
- Here you go. Try it.
- Nah, I'm good.
103
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,753
Uh, why not? Are you a cop?
104
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,799
No, dude, I just don't feel like
drinking a glass of ketamine right now.
105
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:41,967
Or ever!
106
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:45,762
Ash: She's not a cop, but I have
never seen her do ketamine.
107
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,311
Solidarity!
Till the wheels fall off!
108
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,606
So, the sugar is hurting my teeth.
109
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,317
And, uh, I'm pretty... uh...
110
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:00,902
My tongue is numb.
111
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,113
And it's not...
112
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:11,621
Hey, how about you, slim?
113
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,790
Want to try a pink fuck,
hold the pink?
114
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,917
Chet: Ow!
115
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,170
Mm. This feels so nice.
116
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:22,299
- That's what brings the crowds in.
- That's what I'm counting on.
117
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:25,844
Chet, what do you say,
we cook up a big batch of happy,
118
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:27,804
and throw one of
our epic parties tonight?
119
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,973
And the kids who stole your car
will show up.
120
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:33,018
- That's a genius plan, jefe.
- Thanks, Pablo.
121
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,478
It's not the worst plan.
122
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,272
Till the wheels fall off, brother.
123
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,614
Both: K-hole! Yeah!
124
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,658
Amber! Tyler!
125
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,744
Honeymoon's over!
126
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:02,589
Oh, my god.
127
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,884
What's going on?
128
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,974
Tyler? Amber? Are you there?
129
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,654
Dude...
130
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,702
- Holy...
- Shit.
131
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,349
Come on, let's go!
132
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,216
Lacey: What is... what is happening?
I'm not doing this!
133
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:53,348
Oh, my god.
What the fuck is happening?!
134
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,600
No!
135
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,706
Stop it!
136
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,544
- Come on!
- Run, Blake, run!
137
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:27,048
Medication time!
138
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,598
You know,
I got to hand it to you.
139
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,101
This party is popping off, man.
140
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,812
I mean,
you got the football team
141
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,440
and cool goth kids.
142
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,026
The fun gay guy everybody loves.
143
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,778
Some really old men.
144
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:52,073
What the rice and beans
is he doing here?
145
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,410
What the rice and beans
are you doing here?
146
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,620
Hey, it's my question!
Look, beat it.
147
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,247
This is my party, okay?
148
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:03,001
It's for young, hip people,
not old guys that smell like soup.
149
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,919
No, no, no. This is my bar.
150
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:08,631
Bert, Roy, and me been coming here
every Saturday for 40 years.
151
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,926
You don't just waltz in here
and push me around.
152
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,511
Come on, boys.
153
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,472
Story of my life.
154
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,975
Now he's going to be a creepy old guy
and scare all the cool kids away.
155
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:22,312
- Now I'll never get my car back.
- You mean your book, right?
156
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,272
Well, of course I mean the car.
157
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:27,442
Oh, did I say car? I meant car.
158
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:30,487
Look, you wanna be part of this team?
I got your first assignment.
159
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,821
- Kill your dad.
- Yep.
160
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,490
No. Just distract him.
161
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,326
Keep him away from the kids, though.
I'm gonna do some digging.
162
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,996
Tyler, come on. Come on.
163
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,665
- Come on.
- Oh, no, fuck!
164
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,796
Fuck you!
165
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,802
Come on, come on.
Get down, get down, get down.
166
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,301
Lacey: Blake, it won't stop!
167
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:56,179
Fuck! Fuck, I can't!
168
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,892
Oh, no, no! No!
169
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,520
It's coming, man.
170
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,272
- It's going to find us!
- Not if we don't move.
171
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,734
Oh, please don't run.
172
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,194
Shh, shh.
173
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,071
Stay. Don't run. Don't run.
174
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,163
It stopped.
175
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,065
- It's definitely stopped, man, let's...
- No, don't, don't, don't.
176
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,233
We gotta stay here.
177
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,716
Why, man? Why is this happening?
178
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,553
I don't know. I don't...
179
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,139
T _
180
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,101
- Tyler!
- Tyler, run!
181
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,605
Okay, time for a little drinking game.
182
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:50,108
Now, the rules are easy, all right?
183
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,444
We go around, and everybody says
the worst thing they've ever done.
184
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,905
If somebody's done that,
you take a drink.
185
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,241
All right? Okay. I'll go first.
186
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:04,289
Recently, I stole a cream colored,
1973 delta 88 oldsmobile,
187
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:07,584
with a bunch of skanky beer cans
in the back, and a creepy old book.
188
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,420
All right, now who's done that?
189
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,547
Nobody? Really? Come on.
190
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,883
Not one of you was out there
hot rodding around?
191
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,092
Huh?
192
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,636
Jeez, maybe I should've
picked a cooler table.
193
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:22,390
- I once crashed my mother's jetta.
- This is not about your mother's jetta!
194
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,977
Can I play?
195
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:29,647
I great god in heaven,
you know I love you I
196
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,484
I whoa, you know I do... I
197
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,570
well, that depends.
198
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,907
- Ever do anything bad?
- No, but the night's still young.
199
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,207
So, we can both agree this car
ain't coming back, right?
200
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,459
Right?
201
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:50,710
Oh, sorry.
202
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,089
- Hey.
- You okay?
203
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,300
Yeah, sorry.
My head's not right lately.
204
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,136
I... I can't eat,
205
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,931
I'm clammy,
and I haven't slept in days.
206
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,976
I'm terrified I'm going to have
another one of my visions.
207
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:10,188
- It's like looking at hell itself.
- Yo, ese.
208
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:13,691
Yeah, well, um, hey, man.
I know what you're going through.
209
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,486
You know, I mean, I had some
super dark thoughts, too,
210
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,989
- after my time in desert storm.
- Oh, yeah. You were in the army?
211
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,659
I mean, I don't like
to put labels on it.
212
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,661
I'm not comfortable
with that, but, uh,
213
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,871
shooting at jihadis
affects a man, you know?
214
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:30,333
- How did you get past it?
- First you have to,
215
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,126
uh, clear your mind.
216
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,879
And then you, uh,
check out your problems.
217
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:37,298
And one by one,
and you solve them.
218
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,176
You know?
Like, uh, friendly fire mishap.
219
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,056
And, uh, Saudi gold.
220
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:51,521
Like, uh, anwar,
the uh, village boy.
221
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,898
It's, uh...
222
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,692
Mm. Yourturn.
223
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:59,195
Okay, please don't listen
to that numbnuts.
224
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:02,573
Everyone in this world
is plagued by something evil.
225
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:06,536
You can pour a drink
and you can ignore it.
226
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:10,498
Or you can stand up
and you can fight it.
227
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:13,167
Okay, so fight it, man.
Fight your evil.
228
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,420
Yeah, you're right.
229
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,589
I gotta be more like you.
I got to be strong.
230
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,551
Man, you-you don't let
anything get to you.
231
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,678
So, what does that mean?
232
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,555
It means you just roll
with the punches.
233
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:30,059
You don't need a job,
a boyfriend, or a home.
234
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,938
- Well, I mean, I have a home.
- No, like a stationary home.
235
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:37,900
You... you don't need anything
to define your worth.
236
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,944
It's impressive.
237
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:45,074
Yeah, yeah. It's, uh, it's...
238
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,118
It's definitely impressive.
239
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,203
Thank you.
240
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:54,292
- Fuck are you doing?
- Just being impressive.
241
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,544
Look how impressive I am!
242
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,636
Come on, Tyler! Go!
243
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,638
Come on.
244
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,474
Tyler: Oh, no!
245
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:32,038
Tyler: God, no, no!
246
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,063
No! Oh, my god!
247
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:03,069
Man on radio:
Delta has just hit an all time high.
248
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:09,283
Lacey: No!
249
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:13,121
Woman: Hey, girl.
250
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,791
Hey, there you are.
251
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,501
You look cute.
252
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,985
Girls: Trick or treat!
253
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:29,303
Halloween? No, you didn't!
254
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,183
I'm trying to think of something bad,
but I'm such a good girl.
255
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,476
Oh, come on.
256
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,687
You must have one,
teeny, tiny, little flaw.
257
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:40,481
Well, I did break up
with my boyfriend earlier tonight.
258
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,191
- Oh.
- Uh, that's not how this game...
259
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,568
- Shh!
- Sorry.
260
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,027
Talk to me, Amber.
261
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,239
I don't know what my idiot son
did to land a piece like you.
262
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,908
Blink twice if you're here
against your will.
263
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,536
Strangely,
I'm here of my own volition.
264
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,747
For reasons outside my control,
I need your son.
265
00:15:56,914 --> 00:16:01,169
It's barely visible, but there's something
inside him which makes him...
266
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,503
Special.
267
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,547
Is this a biological clock thing?
268
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:07,550
'Cause basically, ash and I
have the same "baby formula"
269
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:08,917
down in the old crotch bottle.
270
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,387
Oh, yeah.
271
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,891
What are you doing?
272
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,101
Just want to see
bigfoot's big old feet.
273
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,397
Ruby: Okay, that's it.
274
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,274
Apologize.
275
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:26,001
- I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Uh, hold that thought.
276
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,863
What the hell is going on?
277
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,240
You know,
I'm done playing it your way.
278
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,410
From now on, you keep
your gene pool away from me.
279
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,913
- Okay, what'd you do?
- Nothing.
280
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:40,541
She was waving me in
like a damn air traffic controller.
281
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,960
- I thought she liked me.
- Nobody likes you.
282
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,807
That's why I didn't want you
at this party.
283
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:49,050
Well, I wanted to die without laying eyes
on my disappointment of a kid again.
284
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,552
- But them's the breaks.
- Yeah?
285
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,263
Well, I'm not a kid anymore.
I'm a man.
286
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,350
What do you say we settle
our differences like men?
287
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,437
What do you got in mind?
288
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,817
Yeah, jefe, um,
289
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,445
why not just have
a real conversation with your pops,
290
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:12,281
and then we can get back to looking
for the book and the delta.
291
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,076
Pablo, talking is for talkers.
292
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:17,912
People who talk. I'm a doer.
293
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,789
Now, friend, kindly step aside
294
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,792
and let this great eagle soar
on the back of that bull.
295
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,004
Okay.
296
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,977
I for criminal acts I
297
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,479
I and violence on the stage... I
298
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,648
is that the best you got?!
299
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:49,652
Whoa, whoa!
300
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:51,445
Hey, pop.
301
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:52,780
- Whoa!
- Yeah!
302
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,034
- Oh, yeah.
- I go to hell... I
303
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,704
Jefe!
304
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:00,871
- Ash: Whoa!
- Whoo!
305
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,456
The best you got, huh?!
306
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,625
Whoa, whoa!
307
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,002
Not good. Oh, no.
308
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,296
Oh, here we go! Mayday. Mayday!
309
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,678
The eagle has landed.
310
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,139
I go to hell I
311
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:25,563
I you're something
that never should have happened... I
312
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:28,024
controller:
Let's get him up here!
313
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,526
I you even make
your grandma sick... I
314
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,492
Leaving so soon?
315
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:44,081
Yeah, well, we know
the necronomicon's not showing up here.
316
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:48,419
And since I wasted all that time
following ash's dumb plan,
317
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:51,631
- that's really in the wind.
- Yeah, well, we all waste time.
318
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:55,301
Important thing is
when we decide to stop.
319
00:18:56,594 --> 00:19:00,389
- What are you doing out here?
- I'm sick of waiting around.
320
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:04,143
Trying to come up with another plan
so I can take out my frustrations.
321
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:15,529
I got a plan b.
322
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,115
What?
323
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:21,285
Look, we might not
be able to find the book,
324
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:24,413
but we can go after the ones
who are searching for it, the spawn,
325
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,541
and take them out before
they can even summon up baal.
326
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,126
Come with me.
327
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,795
Why?
328
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,880
Why?
329
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,883
Kelly...
330
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,052
You're some immortal ass kicker,
331
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,263
yet you call ash for help.
332
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:45,601
- I want to know why.
- I needed help.
333
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:48,938
You've seen what my children
can do to me alone.
334
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:53,067
But now I'm starting to see that
it wasn't ash I was meant to call.
335
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,403
It was you.
336
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,701
Help me.
337
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:05,454
Then let's go kill your kids.
338
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,793
Let her rip.
339
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,276
Nice and tight.
340
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,972
Careful, pop.
Don't throw your back out!
341
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,105
What the hell is keeping him on?
342
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:35,943
Oh, yeah!
343
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:38,279
Whoa!
344
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,409
Here we go!
345
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,665
- Show off.
- I you're something I
346
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:52,042
I that never
should have happened... I
347
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:56,130
Man: Winner, winner!
348
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,632
Winner, winner.
349
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,976
Whew, whoa.
350
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,978
All in the ass, son.
351
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:13,397
You got to clench those cheeks
together nice and tight.
352
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:16,150
So you get them so hard
you can crack a walnut on them.
353
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:18,027
- Ooh.
- Ooh, my.
354
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,196
That Fanny's hard
as Detroit steel, daddy.
355
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,530
That ain't the only thing.
356
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,497
I can't believe
you're doing this to me again.
357
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,702
Oh, he always was a sore loser.
Even as a kid, when we played catch.
358
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,205
There's no winners
when you play catch, pop.
359
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,999
You just throw the ball
back and forth, and you bond.
360
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:35,669
Yeah, well, I did my best, son,
but somewhere along the line, I lost you.
361
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,379
Yeah, like the day I was born.
362
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,716
No, the day you went
to that cabin and...
363
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:44,011
And what? Go ahead, say it.
364
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:46,222
We're both thinking the same thing.
Say it.
365
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:49,058
And killed those kids.
366
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:51,185
And?
367
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,103
And Cheryl.
368
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,564
You took my daughter from me,
goddamn you.
369
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,733
You think I killed Cheryl?
370
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,610
You think I killed my own sister?
371
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,755
What do you want me to believe?
That it was the monsters?
372
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,572
Yeah, dad, 'cause it's the truth.
373
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:06,450
Goddamn it, for once in your life,
take some responsibility.
374
00:22:06,617 --> 00:22:08,577
You're the monster, ash.
You killed them all.
375
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,871
And then you took off,
and left me here to die alone.
376
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,790
I had no choice, dad.
377
00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:16,085
You were a miserable son of a bitch.
378
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:18,254
You know that's why
mom left you, right?
379
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:21,757
Nothing you can say can hurt me.
380
00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:24,844
You already broke my heart.
381
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:31,016
Come on, sweetheart.
382
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:39,400
Never should've come to
this stupid town, Pablo.
383
00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:42,570
Yeah, we didn't pick it.
Evil did.
384
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,950
Jesus, Maria, y José.
She's a deadite!
385
00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:50,035
Okay, what are you going to do?!
386
00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:57,209
Okay, this is your plan?
387
00:23:00,254 --> 00:23:02,464
Please stop!
388
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:06,135
Oh, no!
389
00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,637
- Don't!
- I'm sorry we stole you.
390
00:23:19,815 --> 00:23:21,817
Just let him go.
Please, just let him go.
391
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:23,444
Sorry.
392
00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:30,452
No, no, no, no!
393
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,287
Oh, my god!
394
00:23:38,709 --> 00:23:41,503
I'm sorry. I love you so much!
395
00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:43,797
I love you, too!
396
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:53,223
No, please.
397
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,234
Stop!
398
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:07,404
You can't just sit there.
399
00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:08,822
Yes, I can.
400
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:10,699
My plan failed.
401
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:13,035
I didn't get the car back.
Didn't get the book back.
402
00:24:13,202 --> 00:24:16,163
- Didn't get the girl.
- Because she was a deadite.
403
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:19,875
There's no such thing as a deadite.
Haven't you talked to my father?
404
00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:22,378
According to him,
I'm the monster.
405
00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:24,421
Mm. I'm the killer.
406
00:24:26,090 --> 00:24:28,175
I'm just a lying sack of lard!
407
00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:32,429
Okay, you cannot
just sit there on a stool,
408
00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:34,556
and drink your demons away,
all right?
409
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:36,803
You got to confront them.
Life doesn't work that way.
410
00:24:36,934 --> 00:24:39,520
Listen, you got to march
into that bathroom,
411
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:41,063
and you got to show your pops
412
00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:43,524
you're not the guy
that he thinks you are.
413
00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:46,735
You're ash Williams,
demon hunter.
414
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,238
Deadite slayer, friend, hero,
415
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,323
and jefe.
416
00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:56,745
Okay, I think it's time you introduced
Brock to that great eagle.
417
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,471
Hey, sorry, here you go.
418
00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:06,880
- Go, huh, hey-hey, sorry!
- What are you doing?
419
00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:09,633
You're so much better at this
than my dead wife.
420
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,386
Whoa, ho.
421
00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:16,432
- Do you want to know a secret?
- I'd rather you not talk, but sure.
422
00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:18,934
I fucking hate dirty old men.
423
00:25:19,101 --> 00:25:20,602
What?
424
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:21,937
Help!
425
00:25:22,104 --> 00:25:24,148
Don't you want me anymore, daddy?
426
00:25:24,314 --> 00:25:25,733
Help!
427
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:30,487
Holy shit!
428
00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:34,158
- Hiya, pop.
429
00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:37,327
- Got room for a threesome?
- Oh, shit.
430
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,877
I'm warning you.
I like it rough.
431
00:25:58,057 --> 00:26:00,601
You're a dirty, dirty girl, Amber.
432
00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:28,212
Believe it or not, dad,
this is my dayjob.
433
00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:30,881
Holy shit.
434
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,475
It's ashy slashy!
435
00:26:41,642 --> 00:26:43,352
Brock: No, no, no, no.
Wait, kid.
436
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:46,188
Ashy slashy's going to kill us all!
437
00:26:46,355 --> 00:26:48,565
Hey, relax! Everything's fine!
438
00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:51,860
Don't run, you idiots.
439
00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:54,154
He's going to save us, don't run.
440
00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:59,868
Stop, you damn morons!
My son is a hero!
441
00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:01,954
You hear me? He's a hero!
442
00:27:02,579 --> 00:27:04,665
You really mean that, dad?
443
00:27:06,834 --> 00:27:09,503
You think I'm a hero?
444
00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:11,588
Of course I do.
445
00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:13,215
Oh, Ashley,
446
00:27:13,382 --> 00:27:16,301
i-I've wasted so many years
being wrong about you.
447
00:27:18,345 --> 00:27:19,888
One more time?
448
00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:23,308
I was wrong.
449
00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:28,730
But relieved to see what
an honorable man you've become.
450
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:32,234
Because there's something
I've kept from you.
451
00:27:32,401 --> 00:27:35,904
- What is it, pop?
- Something so vital that...
452
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:38,574
The fabric of your life may begin...
453
00:27:41,410 --> 00:27:43,287
Oh, dad!
454
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:45,581
No! Oh, no!
455
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:54,923
I happy trails to you I
456
00:27:55,090 --> 00:27:59,303
I until we meet again I
457
00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:04,224
I happy trails to you I
458
00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:08,979
I keep smiling until then I
459
00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:13,108
I who cares about the clouds
if we're together? I
460
00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:17,905
I just sing a song,
and bring the sunny weather I
461
00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:22,242
I happy trails to you I
462
00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:27,164
I till we meet again I
463
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,641
Hey, you knuckleheads,
ash Williams here.
464
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,976
If someone offers you
a drink of pink fuck,
465
00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:50,479
throw it away,
'cause it's bad shit.
466
00:28:50,646 --> 00:28:53,899
It will mess with your brain,
and not in the good way.
467
00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:57,236
Be smart,
and stay safe out there.
468
00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:03,325
Created by: A. Vandelay
post haste digital
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