All language subtitles for Pride.And.Prejudice.And.Zombies

Make way on the bridge!

Battle arms, engage!

It ls a truth universally acknowledged

that a zombie in possession of brains
must be in want of more brains.

Never was this truth more plain

than in the recent attacks at Netherfield Park,

in which an entire household
was slaughtered

by a horde of the living dead
during a whist party.

Who goes there?

Who goes there?

Darcy.

Colonel Darcy.

No zombie bite marks
on this pristine, young body.

Father.

How were you able to discern
that the wound on my rib was from fencing?

Been at this a long time, my son.

I have no wound.

Lovely bid, Mr. Kingston!

More sherry for Mr. Kingston please!

Mrs. Featherstone.

I'm afraid Mr. Darcy's here
to see you, ma'am.

Darcy?

Carry on.

We have absolutely nothing to hide.

Please, everyone. Enjoy.

Mr. Darcy.

Colonel Darcy, Mrs. Featherstone.
I'm here on official business.

There's been a report that
somebody here has been bitten.

Surely not.

There hasn't been a zombie incident
in Hertfordshire for over two years.

I assure you, we've taken every precaution.

A newly-infected zombie is
almost impossible to detect.

Until they've ingested
their first human brains,

at which point, the transformation
accelerates with every subsequent kill.

Yes. We are all well aware
of how it works, Colonel Darcy.

Well, are you quite satisfied?

Quite.

- Might I play a hand?
- Of course.

Good evening.

So, shall we?

A Potion?

Flies, ma'am.

I beg your pardon?

Carrion flies.

They are in possession of but
one truly enviable talent.

The ability to detect dead flesh.

Well, I've won the trick.

Very crafty play, Mr. Kingston.

I dare say, the buzzing is frightfully loud.

It's not the buzzing
that should concern you, madam.

But rather, when the buzzing stops.

Oh, dear.

One-nil, Darcy.

I'm going to be faint.

Is there anyone else present

whom he would have had
the opportunity to infect?

A family member, perhaps?

- Good evening.
- Who would dare just leave a zombie head

in the middle of the floor?

It's his head!

Get it away from me.

But Mr. Kingston's niece is here.

There was no need to put that girl
through Mr. Darcy's interrogation!

Cassandra, come back!

Annabelle?

Where are you?

Annabelle?

It wasn't always like this, my dear daughters.

As the century began,

Britannia was rich
with the fruits of worldwide trade.

From the colonies there came
not just silks and spices,

but a virulent and abominable plague.

Naturally, many suspected
the French were to blame.

Definitely the French.

- Are you surprised?
- No.

Once bitten, the newly-infected were filled
with an insatiable hunger

for the brains of the living.

Millions perished,

only to rise again
as legions of implacable undead.

So certain did it seem
the end of days had come

that even the
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

are said to have ascended from HeH.

To protect the living,
the Grand Barrier was built,

a 100-foot wall encircling London.

Then excavation began on the Royal Canal,

a vast moat 30 fathoms deep

surrounding both the city and its walls.

The land twixt the two fortifications

-became known as The In-Between.
-The In-Between.

At this time, it became fashionable
to study the deadly arts of the Orient.

Japan for the wealthy.

China for the wise.

In the Second Battle of Kent,

one of the bridges
across the Royal Canal was breached.

Ravenous zombie hordes massacred
every villager of The In-Between.

It was said, the sight of this slaughter
drove young King George mad.

When the battle was finally won, he ordered
the destruction of all the bridges, save one.

Hingham Bridge,

which to this day, remains the only means
by which to cross the Royal Canal.

There's Lady Catherine.

Many believed
the enemy was finally vanquished.

The gentry began to leave
the safe confines of London's defenses

for their newly-fortified country estates.

But vigilance is still of the essence.

Remember this,
keep your swords as sharp as your wit.

For the ultimate battle
between the living and the undead

has yet to be staged.

Mr. Bennet!

Mr. Bennet!

Mr. Bennet, have you heard
that Netherfield Park is occupied again?

By a Mr. Bingley.

A young, single man of large fortune.

Mrs. Long says his income
is four or five thousand a year.

He is attending the village dance tonight.

How does this concern
our warrior daughters?

Oh, how can you be so tiresome?

You know I mean for him
to marry one of them.

Daughters do not dance well
with masticated brains, Mrs. Bennet.

You, sir, have already put them at
a decided social disadvantage

by insisting they do their combat training in
China as opposed to Japan!

The Chinese deadly arts have no equal.

I, for one, would trade nothing
for my Shaolin training.

You mustn't speak like that, Lizzy.

I should like to go to the dance.

Do you think Mr. Bingley's handsome?

With his income, Lydia,

you'd think him handsome
if he had half a zombie face.

- Sorry.
- You'll make me very, very happy.

Well I suppose, if we all go...

No! I don't care to be paraded
like a herd of heifers at a farm auction.

That's because you're the cow
who's least proficient

in the art of tempting the other sex.

Moo.

Do not mistake my indulgence
for a relaxation in discipline!

They must find husbands, Mr. Bennet.

For as you know too well,
they shall inherit nothing when you pass.

Their immediate survival
is my present concern.

Pish.

Well, I'd say you're easily
five times as beautiful

as any other woman in this room.

Stop it, Liz.

It's true.

These girls don't stand a chance.

They say Mr. Bingley brought
a tribe of London dandies with him.

- Smile, Liz.
- I will later.

There's the handsome new master
of Netherfield.

Where?

It was my understanding
that Captain Bingley was in want of a wife.

Oh, he is. Those are his sisters,
Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst.

They say he inherited nearly £100,000.

What a magnificent husband he'd make.

Charlotte Lucas,
do you think of nothing else?

Zombies or no zombies,
all women must think of marriage, Lizzy.

I shall never relinquish my sword for a ring.

For the right man, you would.

The right man wouldn't ask me to.

Mr. Darcy. Rather an imposing presence.

Owns half of Derbyshire.
£10,000 a year, at least.

What?

Back to your own family,
Charlotte Lucas.

Now, Liz, you look very nice.

- Well, thank you.
- Don't act so surprised.

Out, out. Out. Smile.

Welcome, dear friend.

- How are you?
- How are you, Charles?

I'm very well.
How was the journey from Derbyshire?

- Fine.
- Good.

So this is Meryton?

She's the most beautiful creature
I ever beheld.

She smiles too much.

She... She's an angel.

Oh, my word.

Charles Bingley,
pleased to make your acquaintance.

Mrs. Bennet.
We've heard so much about you, Mr. Bingley.

My daughters, all of impeccable character.

Well... May I introduce my friend,
Mr. Darcy of Derbyshire!

Are you enjoying Hertfordshire, Mr. Bingley?

Very much.

I've heard the library at Netherfield
is one of the finest.

Library? Is it?

Miss Bennet, may I be so bold
as to request the next two dances?

If you are not otherwise engaged.

I am not engaged.

Good for you, Mr. Bingley.
You chose the loveliest of my daughters.

- Mother!
- Well...

I consider dancing to be the first
refinement of polished society.

Don't you agree, Mr. Darcy?

No. Every savage can dance.

Why, I imagine even zombies could do it
to some degree of success.

Good evening.

You know, I love to read, too, actually.

I have read.

Please don't forget our next dance,
Miss Bennet.

Darcy, I hate to see you just standing there.
You must dance.

Oh, you know I detest it
when I'm not acquainted with my partner.

- Oh, well. ..
- Darcy.

You are dancing
with the only handsome girl here.

Oh, but one of her sisters
is also very pretty.

Dare I say, very agreeable.

- Well, she's tolerable but...
- Tolerable?

Yes, tolerable.

But not handsome enough to tempt me.

Nor any other man here, apparently.

Darcy, your standards, my dear fellow...

Oh, that is unfortunate.

What a lack of grace.

Mr. Darcy, you're an insufferable prig.

Fitzwilliam Darcy?

I quite detest the man.

So high and so conceited
that I can't endure him.

Indeed.

I wouldn't dance with him if he were...

Mrs. Featherstone?

You're undead.

I've come to tell you...

What happened, Lizzy?

I narrowly saved her life.

From Mrs. Featherstone?

From an undead Mrs. Featherstone.

I found her to be exceedingly tolerable.

Well done, Darcy. Very heroic.

She was trying to tell me something.

A recipe. Perhaps?

Laugh as much as you choose.

But you shall not
laugh me out of my opinion.

She posed no threat.

We are under attack!

Ladies!

Her face is rendered uncommonly intelligent

by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes.

And I'm forced to acknowledge her
figure as both light and pleasing.

And that her arms are surprisingly muscular,

yet not so much as to be unfeminine.

Lizzy, I never saw such happy manners.

So much ease with such good breeding.

I give you leave to like him.

You've liked many a stupider person.

He's just what a young man ought to be.

Good-humored, lively, handsome, and...

Quite rich, which a young man ought
likewise to be, if he possibly can.

Not as rich as Darcy.

I saw how you looked at him
when he first walked in the dance...

As if I hated him?

As if you liked him.

Until his manners gave me disgust!

He acted as if he were above
our company and above being pleased.

Admit you find him handsome.

Handsome is as handsome does.

Mr. Darcy is therefore a very ill-looking man.

Girls, you will knock the house down!

Never have I encountered a man
so consumed by his own pride!

One cannot wonder that
so very fine a young man

with family, fortune,
and everything in his favor

should think highly of himself.

If I may so express it,

he has a right to be proud.

I could easily forgive his pride,

if he had not mortified mine.

Pride is a very common failing, I believe.

Vanity and pride are different things,

though the words are
often used synonymously.

A person may be proud without being vain.

Pride relates more
to our opinion of ourselves,

and vanity to what we would
have others think of us.

A letter for Miss Jane Bennet.

He saved you from a zombie.

Mrs. Featherstone was quite civilized.

- Yield!
- Never!

She was a zombie, Lizzy.
Thank goodness he was there.

Lizzy!

No, Lizzy!

- No, no, no! Stop it, Lizzy! That's not fair!
- Lydia!

The Bingleys have invited me to tea.

- Lydia, come on.
- Well, of course they have.

Yeah. Down there.

What?

Truly, I'd much rather go by coach.

You had much better go on horseback,

for it seems likely to rain,
and then you must stay all night.

That would be a good scheme

if you were sure
they would not send her home.

Mother, I really would prefer the carriage.

Jane, Mr. Bingley undoubtedly likes you.

But in nine cases out of 10,

a woman had far better show
more affection than she feels.

Enough.

Go quickly now.
The zombies spring easily from the wet earth.

Merciful God.

This cannot be.

Where is she?

She must be closely monitored
and her room locked at all times...

That is a little excessive, Darcy.

Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Did you walk all the way here?

Yes. How is my sister?

She was feverish and slept ill last night.

I fear she has the flu.

Or worse.

I detest illness. It keeps one
in a continual state of inelegance.

Quite.

May I tend to her?

Of course. Edwin, show Miss Bennet the way.

Thank you.

I will not make the same mistake I made
at Mrs. Featherstone's whist party, Bingley.

Oh, Janey.

Miss Bennet.

The physician has arrived.

Please.

She got caught in the downpour?

Yes.

The wound, Doctor.

Her musket backfired.

I see no indication of a bite.

That was never in question.

I believe that these belong to you.

Darcy, old bean,
you almost seem disappointed.

Louisa, you shouldn't have
played that spade.

I won! I won!

How is she?

She's fast asleep.

I'm sure she'll be quite well.
Please join us, Miss Bennet.

Thank you, but I'll amuse myself with a book.

You prefer reading to cards?

I prefer a great many things
to cards, Mr. Hurst.

One half of the world cannot understand
the pleasures of the other.

I don't speak Japanese.

No, of course. You didn't train in Japan.

China, was it?

The Shaolin Temple in Henan Province.

It was there that I learned to endure
all manner of discomfort.

May I inquire as to the nature
of this discomfort?

I would much rather
give you a demonstration.

Mr. Darcy, is your sister much grown
since the spring?

She is now about the same height
as Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

I don't believe I've ever met a girl
who was so extremely accomplished.

The word "accomplished" is far too liberally
applied to young ladies today,

but my sister Georgiana
does deserve that distinction.

Not only is she a master of the female arts
but the deadly as well.

I cannot boast of knowing
more than half a dozen

in the whole range of my acquaintance
that is thus accomplished.

Nor I, I'm sure.

Then, Mr. Darcy,

you must comprehend a great deal
in your idea of an accomplished woman.

I do.

A woman must have
a thorough knowledge of music, singing,

drawing, dancing
and the modern languages.

She must be well-trained
in the fighting styles of the Kyoto masters,

and the weapons and tactics
of modern Europe.

Or the term would only be half-deserved.

And you know six such women?

I wonder now at your knowing any.

Are you so severe on your own sex?

A woman is either
highly trained or highly refined.

One cannot afford
the luxury of both in such times.

L'Art de la guerre.

The Art of War.

Have you not read it
in its original Wu dialect?

Alas.

Then you've never read The Art of War.

I should get back to Jane.

She is one of those young ladies

who seeks to recommend themselves to men

by undervaluing their own sex.

Undoubtedly.

I'm not going to lie...

Oh, my word, girls,

regard how opulently
reappointed it has been.

He must be even more
wealthy than we imagined.

It would have cost a small fortune, of course,
to get the zombie blood out of the marble.

Mrs. Bennet, Miss Bennet,

Miss Bennet and Miss Bennet.

Mrs. Bennet, I am so glad to see you.

Oh, and sadly at
distressing circumstances.

Are you here to take Jane home?

- No.
- Yes!

We must not trespass any longer
on your kindness.

Surely, she is too ill to be moved.

She... She does look very pale.

Bingley, I must protest.

Bingley, please.

Carelessness when dealing
with a zombie infection

could lead to your abrupt demise.

Arrogance could lead to yours.

Your defect, Miss Bennet,
besides eavesdropping,

is to willfully misunderstand people.

And yours is to be
unjustly prejudiced against them.

Come on, Eliza. Come on.

Mr. Bingley, I know just the thing
to break this terrible tension and...

And lift the spirits of the county.

A ball at Netherfield.

Out of the question.

The security arrangements alone...

It's a brilliant idea.

When Jane is recovered you shall,
if you please, name the day.

I should be honored.

All right.

Look at her.

We could've stayed on
for another week in that palace.

I'd risk a cold before I'd risk Darcy's blade.

Oh, Mrs. Beacham's orphanage fell.

There will be an addition to our party
for dinner tonight.

It would appear your health is fully restored.

Quite recovered, Papa.

I know of no one who is coming.

The person of whom I speak

is a certain gentleman.

Let me see.

Who is it?

"A certain gentleman."

What is that odious man doing?

He is perusing his future property.

See, this estate must, by law,
go to a male heir.

Now that "odious man," Mr. Collins,

may, the moment I am dead,
toss you all out of this house at his pleasure.

Tell me, to which of my fair cousins
do I owe the compliments

of the excellent,
and I repeat, excellent cooking?

My daughters were trained for battle, sir.
Not the kitchen.

Quite, Mr. Bennet.

My patroness is not only
the King's richest subject,

but deadliest.

Singularly dedicated
to the annihilation of the undead.

I assume you have all heard
of Lady Catherine de Bourgh?

She's the most deadly swordswoman
in all of Great Britain.

With the agility of a black panther.

My humble abode abuts
Her Ladyship's estate, Rosings Park.

Was she ever married?

Widowed, sadly.

She has one daughter, Anne,
who is unfortunately of a sickly constitution.

Has Anne been presented?

Oh, no. No, Mrs. Bennet.

Her ill health prevents it.

I told Lady Catherine that the court
has been deprived of its brightest ornament.

I have a talent, you see, for delivering
these very delicate compliments

with an unstudied air.

It would seem, sir,
that all you lack now is a wife.

I must confess, Mrs. Bennet,

the fairest wifely choices
be right here in this room.

I declare that I am

enchanted by your daughter, Jane.

And request to speak to her alone, if I may.

Oh, dear Parson.

I'm afraid Jane is already spoken for.

We expect a serious proposal imminently.

Oh, fuddle.

But Liz is quite available,

and almost as fair as Jane.

- What?
- What?

Is there absolutely no negotiating over Jane?

- The early bird catches the worm, Mr. Collins.
- Oh, indeed.

Be mindful of your talent
for the delicate compliment, sir.

Oh, no. Yeah... Why, yes...

She is almost as fair as the other one.

Splendid.

Thank you, ladies.

Settle down.

Now, I thought this morning,

I might read to you
from Fordyce's Sermons To Young Women.

- What a treat.
- What a treat.

"Chapter One, The Home."

We're walking to Meryton
to visit Aunt Phillips.

So long as Jane and Lizzy
are willing to accompany you.

We most certainly are.

And Mr. Collins, of course.

Well, I should be delighted,

but only if Mr. Bennet will consent
to release me from my reading.

With a heavy heart, sir.

Mr. Bennet, I am susceptible to flattery,
and you, sir, are very charming.

Come along, ladies.

Miss Elizabeth,
how charming you look today.

Let us look in the shop windows of Meryton
and we can buy some new pots and pans

to take the place
of your swords and daggers.

Is there some sort of trouble?

Oh, it appears there is.

Penny McGregor's carriage.

Help!

Someone's trapped inside.

- Jane.
- Please!

There's been an accident!

Please help me! Anyone! Please!

Help!

There was a horrible accident,

but I survived.

I survived, Janey.

Not in the traditional sense of the word.

It appears Miss McGregor
won't be delivering any more lamp oil.

I must confess,

I was unaware that zombies possessed
the required acuity to set such traps.

Before we know it,
they'll be running for Parliament.

Come along.

Fantastic. We must try
and make elevenses, actually.

Come along, Elizabeth. We mustn't dawdle,
we can't be late.

- Miss Bennet.
- Thank you, Mr. Collins.

Allow me.

Gallantry isn't dead. Come, come now.
We mustn't be late.

Keep your eyes peeled for zombies!

No one walks alone!

This must be the extra militia
they stationed here in Meryton.

On, Kitty, look at him.

- Good day.
- How are you?

- Kitty. Lydia.
- Hi.

Lieutenant Denny!

Who's that with him?

Miss Lydia Bennet and
Miss Catherine Bennet. Lieutenant Wickham,

who has just been assigned
to our Meryton regiment

to deal with the zombie resurgence.

I bet you're fearful handsome
in your regimentals.

Kitty, Lydia.

Miss Jane Bennet, Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
may I introduce...

- George Wickham.
- He's a lieutenant.

This is our cousin, Mr. Collins.

Parson Collins.

Aren't we overdue at the Phillips'?

Walk us.

I fear I have a prior engagement.

Mr. Wickham?

Yes. Enchanted.

- She is baking, so we mustn't be late.
- Lydia.

I said she is baking.

I was very keen to be on time

because, apparently,
Aunt Phillips' muffins are splendid, you see.

Is that so?

Yeah, and Lady Catherine herself
abhors tardiness,

and actually it's instilled me
with a real sense of order.

Thank you for accompanying us
and enduring my younger sisters.

It's my pleasure.

Are you going to be stationed here
all winter, Mr. Wickham?

Well that depends entirely
on what the manky dreadfuls

have in store for us, Miss Bennet.

Mr. Bingley.

We were just on our way to Longbourn.

Mr. Bingley, you promised
you'd throw a ball at Netherfield.

- Are you quite recovered?
- She is.

Then I shall begin
the preparations immediately

for the most glorious ball
Hertfordshire has ever seen.

Can Lieutenant Wickham come?

Of course, an invitation shall be sent
to all my fellow officers.

Excuse me.

Good day, Miss Jane.

There you are, my beautiful nieces.

Please join us, Mr. Wickham.

No. Duty calls, I'm afraid.

I must know, Mr. Wickham,

what is amiss between you and Mr. Darcy?

Are you much acquainted with him?

More than I wish to be.

He's been here for less than a month

and is already the least popular man
in the county.

Yes, it always gives me great pain to see him.

I have been connected with his family
from infancy.

My father managed
the late Mr. Darcy's estate.

Darcy and I grew up together.

His father treated me like a second son.

I cannot begin to do justice to his kindness.

He bequeathed me with
the best living in his gift.

I had my heart set on joining the church.

But when he was slain
in the Second Battle of Kent,

Darcy ignored his wishes
and gave my living to another man.

What could have induced him
to behave so cruelly?

Pride.

He thought me too low
to be worth his consideration.

I loved his father dearly,
so, I can never expose Darcy

or challenge him to a duel.

Come now, Lizzy!

We must plan our trip to the North Country.

I'll be right there.

Well, perhaps I shall see you
at Mr. Bingley's ball?

Perhaps.

I'll be there.

Oh, dear.

Beg your pardon.

Mr. Wickham, you came.

As I said I would.

I feared that Mr. Darcy's presence
would keep you away.

If Darcy wishes to avoid me,
he must go, not I.

I have found you, Miss Bennet!

Sorry, and you are?

Wickham.

Mr. Wickham. I never forget a face,

especially one as angelic as Miss Bennet's.

I do hope you haven't forgotten our dance?

Of course not, Parson Collins.

- Oh, allow me.
- Thank you, Mr. Wickham.

Lady Catherine herself has praised me
on my lightness of foot.

Wonder, sir, how you found the time
to hone such delicacy in your steps.

Flattery will get you everywhere,
Miss Bennet.

Dear...

The dance seems to be getting away with us.

I think it only right and proper
that every clergyman

should set the example
for matrimony in the parish.

This is my favorite moment of the dance.

And now the party's in full swing.

Such splendor in the air.

A parson may no longer lead a chaste life,
my fair cousin.

Mr. Collins, please keep your voice down.

Splendid.

Splendid work, everyone.

Thank you for your attention.

Everyone did valiantly.

Miss Bennet, it is my intention
to remain very close to you

throughout all the evening.

- May I have the next dance?
- Yes.

Mr. Darcy, this is Mr. Collins.

- Parson Collins.
- Parson Collins.

Your...

He's my cousin.

Mr. Darcy,
I have made the most incredible discovery...

Nay. Tosh. An extraordinary discovery, sir.

You are the nephew
of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

I know.

Well, I know you know.

Allow me to do the honor of
introducing myself...

- Please excuse me.
- Please excuse me.

I am Parson Collins.

My humble abode abuts Her Ladyship's...

I predict a wedding in under three months.

He's such a charming young man,

and so...

Well, rich.

Jane marrying Bingley
is bound to throw her younger sisters

in the way of other rich men.

And then...

Mother, it's time to go.

Don't be so impertinent.

Mr. Darcy overheard you.

What is Mr. Darcy to me,
pray, that I should be afraid of him?

I can't find Papa or Lydia anywhere.

Papa will be in the library
and I'll find that stupid girl.

Edwin, where is dessert?

Hello, Mrs... Hello, Miss Bennett.

Sir?

Sir?

We must find Darcy immediately.

There's no time.

Mr. Bingley.

Yes.

All the lanterns have been snuffed out.

Mind your step, Miss Bennet.

Mr. Bingley.

You're Mrs. Beacham's orphans.

We were, Miss Bennet.

How did you get in here?

Our new friend showed us the way in.

Mr. Darcy!

Was he bitten?

- Was he bitten?
- No.

No, he fell and hit his head.

Bingley.

Bingley, wake up.

Come on, chap.

Your abilities as a warrior
are beyond reproach, Mr. Darcy.

If only you were as good a friend.

"Dear Jane, we have decided
to close down Netherfield

"and return to London.

"We are not sure when we shall return.“

The Bingleys just closed down the house
and left?

I don't understand. Why would he not know
when he is to return?

According to Caroline Bingley,

"Mr. Darcy is impatient to see his sister.

"My brother admires her greatly already.

"He will now be seeing her frequently
and on the most intimate footing.

"Am I wrong, my dearest Jane,
in indulging the hope of an event

"which will secure the happiness
of so many?"

Obviously, she knows
her brother is in love with you,

and wants him to marry Miss Darcy.

If Mr. Bingley truly loves me,
nothing can keep us apart.

No one who has ever seen you together
can doubt his affection.

I'm sure Mr. Bingley will be back soon.

And that there's a good reason for all this.

Ladies.

Good morrow.

Mr. Collins would like a private audience
with your sister.

Lydia.

- What, with Liz?
- Out. Out. Everyone out.

Mama, please, he has
nothing to say. He can't...

Jane, please don't. Please, please...

Miss Elizabeth,
as soon as I entered the house

I singled you out
as the companion for my future life.

Oh, no.

I am convinced marrying you
will add very greatly to my happiness.

But, actually, I must add,

I will of course require you
to retire your warrior skills

as part of the marital submission.

We absolutely can't have swords
in the home.

And now, Miss Elizabeth,

allow me to assure you
in the most animated language

of the violence, the sheer violence
of my affections.

- Sir, I am honored by your proposal.
- Thank you.

I am,

but I regret, I must refuse.

Lizzy, I insist you marry Mr. Collins.

No!

Do not worry, Mr. Collins.
She shall be brought to reason.

- Oh, good.
- No.

Oh, no...

I'm terribly sorry.

Now, Elizabeth Bennet, you get back there.
You get back there.

- No.
- And you face up to your future...

Excuse me. Mr. Bennet!

You must come and make Lizzy marry
Mr. Collins, for she refuses to have him!

Bugger.

Lizzy!

Lizzy, you will marry Mr. Collins or
I shall never speak to you again!

You talk to her.

Lizzy! An unhappy alternative is before you.

Your mother will never speak to you again
if you do not marry Mr. Collins.

And I will never speak to you again if you do.

Who will maintain you
when your father is dead?

No one, Elizabeth Bennet!

You shall become
a poor and pathetic spinster!

Anything.

Anything is to be preferred or endured

rather than marrying without affection!

Lizzy.

Lizzy, don't go into the woods alone!

Lizzy!

I forbid you!

Elizabeth.

Mr. Wickham.

You vanished at the ball.

Yes.

I thought it would've been selfish of me
to seek an encounter with Darcy.

Would've ruined the ball
for anyone who witnessed it.

I am very sorry I lost the pleasure
of dancing with you, though.

Did you happen to see
four gentlemen pass this way?

- In top hats?
- You saw them?

No, but they were undoubtedly pallbearers.

This is a cemetery.

Miss Bennet?

I want to take you somewhere
very special to me.

It's a secret place
I've never shown another living soul.

I stumbled upon it quite by accident
when I was first stationed in The In-Between.

But somehow, I believe I was
always destined to find it, Miss Bennet.

You go in. I'll join you after I see to my horse.

Don't be afraid.

I'm not.

"And I brought your fathers out of Egypt.

"And ye came unto the sea,

"and the Egyptians crowded their fathers
with chariots and horsemen

"to the Red Sea.

"And when they cried unto the Lord,

"he put darkness between
you and the Egyptians,

"and brought this upon them.

"He that believeth in me,
though he were dead,

"yet shall he live."

You're quite rude.

"And Jesus cried out with a loud voice,

"'Lazarus, come out!"'

No, don't! Don't.

It's all right.

It's all right.

"Happy are those
who are called to his supper.

"The locusts have no king.

"Yet all of them go forth, marching in rank.

"What the cutting locust left,
the swarming locust has eaten.

"What the swarming locust...

- Brains.
- No. They're pigs' brains.

You have nothing to fear.

You see, if they never consume human brains

they will never fully transform into zombies.

St. Lazarus is the key to finally ending the
struggle between the living and the undead.

We must force some kind of understanding
with the most advanced among them.

Well, surely the Crown
will support such a venture.

The war has almost bankrupted Great Britain.

I know not where to turn.

It's only a matter of time
before they outnumber us.

Rider at the gates!

Attention!

- Liz?
- Charlotte?

I didn't know you were coming to visit.

I have some news.

I'm engaged to be married to Mr. Collins.

You must be surprised.

I'm not. I'm relieved.

I believe that
my chance of happiness with him

is as fair as most women can hope for.

And that's all you expect?

At 25, it's more than I expect.

Charlotte, if you're happy for you,
then I am, too.

Well, I am to be presented to Lady Catherine

and if I am to stay
the night at Mr. Collins' rectory,

I will require a chaperone.

- Charlotte...
- She's said to be quite an imposing figure.

And the thought of facing her without you
makes me deathly nervous.

So, please?

I'll come, but I have one stipulation.

Anything.

Now, when we meet Lady Catherine,
a simple curtsey will suffice.

Maintain eye contact,
but don't speak unless spoken to, please.

Lady Catherine's famed Black Guard.

They can't move.

Here, look at this,
you could tickle him with a feather.

Lower the gates!

An extraordinary sight, is it not?

Such splendor.

Lady Catherine Smiting the Undead Lucifer.

Majestic.

Elizabeth Bennet.

The Four Horsemen
of the Zombie Apocalypse.

When they appear, the end of days is neigh.

This way, miss.

Parson Collins,
Miss Lucas, and Miss Bennet.

I'm sorry.

Lady Catherine.

Miss De Bourgh.

Lady Catherine.

So you are Elizabeth Bennet.

Yes. I am, Your Ladyship.

This is my daughter.

Well, it's very kind of you to invite us over
for tea, Lady Catherine. Really.

Very grateful.

Mr. Darcy?

Miss Bennet.

You know my nephew?

Yes, I had the tremendous pleasure
of meeting him in Hertfordshire.

Mr. Wickham.

- Is this the soldier you spoke of?
- Yes.

Miss Bennet requested he attend,
that he might confer with Your Ladyship

about a strategy
with which to combat the scourge.

A lieutenant? Really?

Indeed.

And tea is brought up.

- Shall we?
- Delighted to.

Please.

I have given you entry
to the wealthiest woman in the kingdom.

The rest is up to you.

Your Ladyship has perhaps heard

that some of the stricken
have not succumbed

to the urge to feed upon the living,

and in so doing
have maintained their human ways.

And they have managed to resist
this most primal of zombie urges, how?

Their iron-clad constitutions?

Yes, fortified by religious piety
and pigs' brains,

which they receive in communion
as the blood of Christ.

The pig brains quench their appetite
for human brains.

Yes, of course.

The Crown's funds have been drained.

You're here to solicit money?

I am here to propose a venture
that would end the war forever.

These new zombies can be reasoned with.

With the proper funding,
I believe we can cultivate trust

and even goodwill
with this new iteration of the undead,

who seem to possess an inherent power
over the lower ranks of their kind.

Zombie aristocrats?

Oh, yeah.

I prefer to think of them
as souls lost in purgatory.

The common hordes
look to them for leadership.

It takes just one of them
to realize their power

and then to lead the hordes into battle...

- The undead are like locusts.
- Locusts.

They go forth and destroy.
They have no use for leaders.

Except one. Actually.

Well, according to
the Book of Revelation, actually,

the Antichrist shall lead the undead

on the day that shall be
the last day of mankind.

- How cheery, Collins.
- Thank you, Lady Catherine.

Very generous.
Franklin, are there more scones?

If we could negotiate
with this select group of...

Aristocrats? To what end?

- A treaty.
Appeasement?

Never.

Well, then the human race is surely doomed.

Your Ladyship,
the undead will always multiply faster

than the living can procreate.

Nine months to make a baby,
then 16 years to make a soldier,

and one raw second to make a zombie.

You must realize, if they were to organize,
we cannot defeat them.

The only hope is to find a way
to coexist with them,

before they find their Antichrist.

The late Mr. Darcy
would have supported such a venture.

I have tolerated your presence here
long enough, Wickham.

Guards.

Please do remember this moment,

and the opportunity so glibly spurned.

The day of the zombie has already broken.

Wake and face the light,
or slumber into oblivion.

Mr. Darcy, you are
as unfeeling as the undead.

My word,

you give your opinion very decidedly
for so young a person.

Indeed, Lady Catherine.

Well, I would like to say
how dutifully behaved I think

Lady Anne has been this morning.

A real credit to the crest, actually.

Would you like a scone, dear?

I didn't mean to frighten you.

You didn't.

No. Of course not.

Rosings is the safest place in England.

You see, that's the problem.

Aristos feel invincible
within their great houses,

but how wrong they are.

Their hubris will be their downfall.

"Downfall"?

You act as if
the undead had already defeated us.

I think you and I
understand each other, Liz Bennet.

Well, the way you championed me earlier,
I thought...

Mr. Darcy's treatment of you
has been utterly despicable, but...

No more despicable than
his treatment of you and your family.

I don't understand you, sir.

It was Darcy that persuaded Bingley
to stay clear of your sister

and leave Netherfield.

Why?

Because he believes your sister
be inferior to his friend.

Darcy also convinced Bingley

that she is after his fortune
and doesn't truly love him.

How could you possibly know this?

Men talk.

Darcy brags about it with his intimates.

Miss Bennet, run away with me.

You have crossed a line, sir.

We're far beyond lines now, Miss Bennet.

Take heed of the parson, Miss Bennet.

The day of reckoning is upon us.

Charlotte?

Charlotte?

- Mr. Darcy.
- Miss Bennet.

You've finally arisen. How fortuitous.

There are some words I must say.

Please do be seated.

Miss Bennet, although I know
many consider you to be decidedly inferior,

as a matter of your birth,
your family, and your circumstances,

my feelings will not be repressed.

In vain have I struggled.

I have come to feel for you
a most ardent admiration and regard,

which has overcome my better judgment.

So now I ask you most fervently
to end my turmoil and consent to be my wife.

If I could feel gratitude,
I would now thank you,

but I cannot.

I never desired your good opinion,

and you have
certainly bestowed it most unwillingly.

Might I be informed why,

with so little endeavor at civility,
I am rejected?

You intentionally ruined the happiness
of my most beloved sister.

- Do you deny it?
- I have no wish to deny it.

I did everything in my power
to separate my friend from your sister.

How could you?

Because I perceived
his attachment to her

to be far deeper than hers to him.

I believed her to be indifferent.

Indifferent'? She's shy!

Did you suggest to Mr. Bingley

that his fortune
had some bearing on the matter?

I wouldn't do your sister the dishonor,

though it was suggested.

By Miss Bingley?

By your mother, at the ball.

Your character was revealed to me
many months ago by Wickham

as I heard of his scandalous misfortunes
at your hand.

Oh, yeah. Mr. Wickham's misfortunes
have been very great indeed.

You withhold the advantages
that you know were designed for him.

This is your opinion of me?

Then I thank you for explaining it so fully.

You could not have made
the offer of your hand

in any possible way
that would have tempted me to accept it.

I had not known you a month

before I felt
you were the last man in the world

whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.

You've said quite enough, madam.

I fully comprehend your feelings

and now I have only to be ashamed
of what my own have been.

Please forgive me, and accept my
best wishes for your health and happiness.

Hello. Good afternoon. Wonderful to be back.

Heavens.

What happened, Lizzy?

This is an antique. Irreplaceable.

Lady Catherine herself delivered this to me.

- Mr. Darcy...
-it's from the shores of China.

Mr. Darcy came by the cottage?

Came here?

Fabulous.

This will need clearing up, Elizabeth.

"Dear Miss Elizabeth Bennet,

"I am not writing to renew the sentiments
which were so disgusting to you,

"but to address the two offenses
that you accuse me of.

"I did not intentionally wound your sister.

"It was a most unfortunate consequence
of protecting my dearest friend.

"Mr. Bingley's feelings for Miss Bennet

"were beyond any I had ever witnessed in
him, or indeed even thought him capable of.

"The evening of the dance at Netherfield,

"after overbearing your mother
coldly state her intention

"of having all her daughters marry favorably,

"I persuaded Bingley
of the unfitness of the match.

"If I have wounded Miss Bennet's feelings,
it was unknowingly done.

"As to your other accusation,
of having injured Mr. Wickham,

"no sooner had my father
made clear his intention

"to leave Mr. Wickham a handsome sum,

"than Mr. Darcy was mysteriously infected
by the plague.

"It was left to me, his son,
to provide a merciful ending.

"Still, I gave Wickham
the inheritance my father left.

"Wickham squandered it.

"Whereupon he demanded
more and more money,

"until I eventually refused.

"Thereafter he severed all ties with me.

"Last summer, he began a relationship
with my 15-year-old sister

"and convinced her to elope.

"Mr. Wickham's prime target
was her inheritance of £30,000,

"but revenging himself on me
was a strong additional inducement.

"Fortunately, I was able to persuade
my sister of Mr. Wickham's ulterior motives

"before it was too late.

"I hope this helps explain

"and perhaps mitigate
my behavior in your eyes.

"Of all the weapons in the world,

"I now know love to be the most dangerous.

"For! have suffered a mortal wound.

"When did I fall so deeply
under your spell, Miss Bennet?

"I cannot fix the hour or the spot

"or the look or the words
which laid the foundation.

"I was in the middle
before I knew I had began.

"What a proud foo! I was.

"I have faced the harsh truth,

"that I can never hope
to win your love in this life,

"and so have sought solace in combat.

"I write to you from the siege of London.

"There is now a cunning design
to the zombie attacks.

"I sense a dark hand is at work here,
guiding the enemy, Miss Bennet.

"By taking London, they've increased
their ranks a hundredfold."

Come on, lads!

"Now we endeavor to keep them trapped
within the great wall."

This wasn't the random act
of some mindless horde.

They've struck the Palace and both Houses.

They cut off our head
before we could cut off theirs.

Keep fighting.

Come on, men!

"If we should fail to contain them
and they breach Hingham Bridge,

"it'll be as if a great dam has broken,
and they'll reach Hertfordshire swiftly.

"And in overwhelming numbers.

"Dear Miss Bennet,
I implore you to be ready."

Lizzy!

- Liz!
- Jane!

Jane... Jane, what is it?

Wickham's run off with Lydia.

She's barely more than a child.

I never could have imagined
the man to be so improper,

to be such a Haggard.

What are we to do?

St. Lazarus.

I know where she is.

You have a very small estate here.

And yet we endure it.

I have urgent business to attend to.

A falsehood of a most scandalous nature
has reached me,

that you intend to be united
with my own nephew, Mr. Darcy.

Is this true?

I do not possess
your frankness, Your Ladyship.

You may ask questions,
I may not choose to answer.

Let me be rightly understood, Miss Bennet.

Darcy has been promised since infancy
to my daughter.

Well, then you can have
no reason to suppose he made me an offer.

Are you engaged to him or not?

I'm not.

And will you promise me
never to enter into such an engagement?

I will make no such promise.

Then I shall protect the dignity
of a far superior man.

Do you dare to face me in combat?

I do not.

For to take arms against you, My Lady,

would be to take arms against England.

Quite right.

My proxy will have to suffice.

Wilhelm.

Miss Bennet, do you concede?

I do not.

My courage always rises
at every attempt to intimidate me.

Do you still refuse to oblige me?

I do!

I do not know
which I admire more, Elizabeth Bennet.

Your skill as a warrior,

or your resolve as a woman.

St. Lazarus is in The In-Between, Papa.

- You'll never make it.
- Lydia's honor is at stake.

Stop him, Liz.
He's going after Lydia and Wickham.

Wait, Papa.

What's right to do
cannot be done too soon.

But you don't even know where she is. I do.

I promise you I won't forsake Lydia.

I'll go with you.

No, you must stay here
to help protect Longbourn.

Ride at once. Both of you.

I will take the rest of your family
back with me to Rosings.

There's no safer place in England.

Collect your people.

The bridge is closed!

It's too dangerous to cross.

All of London's fallen to the zombies.

We have urgent business on the other side.

This bridge is rigged
with all the explosives left in England.

It's to be detonated tomorrow at dawn

when the last squadron
withdraw from The In-Between.

Our boys can't hold them much longer.

If the undead of London take the bridge,
well, the rest of England will surely be lost.

Nevertheless, we must cross over.

Zombie protocol is in effect!

One, seek out and destroy
any remaining undead.

Two, any of the fallen with intact skulls

must have their brains perforated or crushed

to ensure they do not rise again
as the undead!

Bloody hell... Fie, damnable scarf!

Hello, Miss Bennet.

Potter's field.

Yes. Quite.

Pardon?

This. What we're standing on,

it's an unmarked zombie graveyard.

Yes. Of course.

Miss Bennet, what possible cause
could the two of you have

for leaving Hertfordshire
and entering into The In-Between?

If adventures will not befall
a young lady in her own village,

she must seek them abroad.

We had no choice.

Wickham has run off with Lydia.

He has taken her to where his
"zombie aristocrats" congregate.

St. Lazarus.

St. Lazarus?

I know it well.

I saw it razed to the ground five days ago.

Your sister couldn't possibly have survived.

I'm profoundly sorry for your loss.

Colonel Darcy.

We need you at the command tent.

I fear I must depart
for Hingham Bridge immediately.

Of course.

Let's see how reasonable his aristocrats are
after their appetites have been whet.

On my mark.

Now.

Dawn breaks at 5:00 tomorrow.

I'll make it back.

Of course you will, old man.

The order must be given at first light.

No matter what.

I'll give the order.

I fear I should not have confided in Darcy.

Fear the hordes of ravenous unmentionables
that are swarming our way.

Liz, London has already fallen
and the Grand Barrier burns as we speak.

Hingham Bridge is behind us.

London's over there.

Which direction
are you looking in, Mr. Bingley?

St. Lazarus?

- Darcy lied...
- To spare you.

He'd risk anything for you, Miss Bennet.

Lizzy!

Lizzy!

Don't hang about.

Go on.

Zombies wouldn't do that.

Oh, my. Aye.

Who would steal the brains of dead soldiers?

Almighty Lazarus,
to whom all souls are opened.

Breathe life into our hearts,
by the insertion of your divine spirit.

"I am the resurrection and the life.

"He that believeth in me..."

- Mr. Darcy...
-it's all right.

He said you'd come.
Wickham said you'd come.

Mr. Darcy...

The bastard.

My God, you're so predictable.

I knew by taking young Lydia,
you'd have to protect the Bennets' honor.

So, come to kill me then, Fitz?

On the contrary,
I've come to make you an offer.

The Bennets have authorized me
to offer you a commission of£10,000

to return Lydia and leave England for good.

How very noble of you to deliver
the Bennets' offer, Fitz,

but I'm afraid my answer is no.

And is there no financial inducement

that could convince you
to do the honorable thing, George?

None.

You see, money is of no use to me now.

Is that your father's watch?

Yes.

Give it to me.

No.

Bloody hell!

Brains!

Mr. Darcy, please!

What have you done, Darcy?

I fed them!

Godspeed, Georgie.

All of you, go to the bridge!
Now! Go to the bridge!

Lydia, listen to me.
You have to get across Hingham Bridge.

But, Mr. Darcy, you have to come.

As long as Wickham lives,
England is in peril. Go, Lydia. Go!

All of you, Hingham Bridge!

I conquered London, Darcy.

Did you really think you could defeat me?

I always have.

You're a traitor, George.

No, Fitz. I'm a king!

My God.

Lydia!

Lydia!

It's time, sir.

So it is.

- Rider!
- Wait!

Lydia, where are the others?

You fool. I've been one of them all along.

If I had the living your father intended me,
I never would have been in the army,

I never would have been infected.

This is your doing, Darcy!

Suppressing my hunger was easy.

They needed God,
I had my hatred of you to sustain me.

The Four Horsemen have risen from Hell!

The zombie apocalypse is here.

I am the one
the undead have been waiting for.

The one to lead them.

Every life I take, every atrocity I commit,

is on your head!

Keep your eyes peeled, lads!

- We can't delay any longer, sir.
- No!

The undead will have reached the bridge
soon, and then it will be too late.

They're not back yet! You must wait, Bingley!

Detonate the bridge.

Give the order. Give the order.

Yes, sir.

Four!

Three!

Two !

One!

Liz!

Liz!

Mr. Darcy.

The very first moment I beheld you,

my heart was irrevocably gone.

Raise the gates!

Lady Catherine, might I take this opportunity
to compliment you on your pantaloons?

And your eye patch. It's very fetching.
Is it function or fashion?

Function.

Your Ladyship.

Guess who's speaking with Papa
in the library? It's...

Mr. Bingley.

Lady Catherine.

Well, this is all rather embarrassing,

but I would like to request
the privilege of speaking with Miss Jane.

Alone.

Mr. Darcy.

My favorite nephew,
you lay unconscious for so long,

that when we'd heard you'd risen, we'd
feared you'd joined the ranks of the undead.

Any word from the Canal?

It's holding for the time being.

Yes!

Jane said yes.

Would you excuse me?

Quick! Quick, quick!

This is so exciting!

Jane!

Keep going! Hurry up, Lydia!

Miss Bennet.

Mr. Darcy.

You look as though you're fully mended.

I am. Thank you.

If it wasn't for you,
I'd have surely perished.

You have saved me in more ways than one.

What you said to me on Hingham Bridge...

You heard me?

I did.

It gave me hope.

Of what?

That your feelings towards me
may have changed.

However, one word from you now
will silence me on the subject forever.

You are the love of my life, Elizabeth Bennet.

So I ask you now,
half in anguish, half in hope,

will you do me the great, great honor
of taking me for your husband?

Yes.

Yes.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today
in the sight of God

to join together this man and this woman,

and this man and this woman,

in holy matrimony.

I now pronounce you man and wife,

and man and wife.

You may now kiss, Mr. Darcy...
The brides.

You may now kiss the brides.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

I'm so happy!

Ring around the rosie

A pocket full of posies

A-tishoo! A-tishoo!

We all fall down

Walking through the forest

A monster stands before us

Another, then, another

They all rise up

Ring around the zombies

Lift your musket calmly

Bludgeon! Bludgeon!

They all fall down

Ring around the city

Infection is a pity

Your brother or your mother

Will gladly break your crown

Ring around the rosie

A pocket full of posies

A-tishoo! A-tishoo!

We all fall down