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1
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So my last housemate
left all of a sudden,
2
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but, fortunately, through my work,
a position came up in Los Angeles,
3
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so I needed to find a new housemate.
4
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Hello.
5
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The Grandmaster was the only one
who answered my Craigslist ad.
6
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Imagine that. I was the only one.
7
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Well, lucky me.
8
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At first, I thought he was just
another Hollywood-type person,
9
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:41,373
then I realised he was more than likely
from another planet.
10
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I like learning about your culture.
11
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Now, what do you call this?
12
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- Toast.
- Yes.
13
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I come from Sakaar.
It's a haven for lost things.
14
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That sounds kind of poetic, but
it's really kind of a catch-all place.
15
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And now, without boring you
with the details,
16
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I had formerly,
and for rather a long period of time,
17
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an assistant/bodyguard named Topaz.
18
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And now, you know,
I'm looking for a new assistant,
19
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:11,695
and you know who seems
to fit the bill just perfectly?
20
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Believe it or not, it's Darryl.
21
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He's starting to make me
dress up in Topaz's armour.
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He's getting me to do
a lot of things for him.
23
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Do the dishes, drive him around,
and also do his laundry.
24
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He says he's over one million years old,
which I find hard to believe
25
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because he acts quite young,
almost immature.
26
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He is a really nice guy.
27
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It's the first thing
I noticed about him.
28
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He's very charming and persuasive,
29
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but sometimes,
he completely loses his temper.
30
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Damn it. God damn it!
31
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I don't do this for everybody,
32
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but I'm going to share with you
some of the drawings that I've made
33
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here in Darryl's house.
34
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They're all of Darryl. Now watch this.
35
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So here's the first one.
36
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I gave him an extra-long tie.
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
37
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This is Darryl on a horse.
Oh, he's so happy.
38
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And the horse has my face.
Did you notice?
39
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:04,039
That's also Darryl as a crying cyclops.
40
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,501
Oh, my golly! Well, look at this.
41
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Here is Darryl asleep right there,
42
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and, of course, he's dreaming about me.
43
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,053
My eye fell upon him,
and then I kind of knew it right away.
44
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He's kind of like my muse.
45
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He just interests me strangely.
46
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,853
What am I working on
at the moment? Well, um...
47
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,773
You know, I'm fixing to move in
on this new planet.
48
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,733
Now, I've kind of taken a liking to it.
49
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,820
So I'm gonna rule Earth.
50
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,781
Lately, he's started talking
about taking over Earth.
51
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:41,160
I'm not sure how he would go about
starting to take over Earth,
52
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,244
but we made a video.
53
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:47,499
Peoples of Planet Earth,
my name is Grandmaster,
54
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:52,629
and I'm about to become your ruler.
55
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:59,136
Those who resist me, let me say,
will become melted.
56
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:02,848
This is my melting stick.
57
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,102
Yeah, if people displease me,
I can melt them.
58
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,313
How many views have we got now?
59
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:11,523
- One.
- One? That's not bad.
60
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,443
That's just us
because we're watching it.
61
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,446
Maybe you need to refresh the window.
62
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,864
- Okay.
- Okay.
63
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:21,658
- And how many views do we have now?
- Now we've got two.
64
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:25,746
Ah! Good, good. Two, so we're...
Now we're in business.
65
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,040
That second one is us, too.
We've seen it twice.
66
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:32,127
We might need to make another video
advertising the original video.
67
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:35,005
You know anybody who can play music,
some of your work friends?
68
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,215
From the top, ready?
69
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:37,466
Three, four.
70
00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:50,229
Nope, nope, nope.
71
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,149
Wow, David, why are you
playing a zimbeldorp
72
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,109
when we're obviously doing a zets?
73
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,402
Why are you doing that?
74
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,446
I don't know what that is.
75
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:10,290
All right, from the top.
76
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,085
One, two. One, two, three...
77
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:16,964
I don't wanna go to sleep
without clearing up a few things, okay?
78
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:20,801
I wanna apologise for melting David.
79
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:24,012
We might wanna call his parents
and just let them know.
80
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:27,099
I guess I should be the one to call.
81
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,088
But can we practice
what we're gonna say...
82
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,002
- Practice calling Mrs Richardson?
- Yeah, yeah.
83
00:04:31,082 --> 00:04:32,104
Okay. Ring, ring, ring.
84
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,730
- Hello?
- Hello. Who's this?
85
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,566
This is Mrs Richardson.
86
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,278
Oh, Mrs Richardson...
87
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,405
I'm not sure
that's the best way to start.
88
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:42,800
Well, let's see what happens.
89
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,242
You try to channel her...
Mrs Richardson.
90
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,330
How are you, Mrs Richardson?
You can call me Grandmaster.
91
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,541
Mrs Richardson, what are you wearing?
92
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,209
I'm just wearing a nightgown.
93
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,004
Oh, you've got to be kidding!
What colour?
94
00:04:57,213 --> 00:05:00,048
- Uh, blue.
- Oh!
95
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:01,341
That's my favourite colour.
96
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,844
Mrs Richardson, David's melted.
97
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:08,598
So you may be wondering
what will become of Darryl
98
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:09,891
when I take over this planet.
99
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,687
Well, he's going to, uh, rule beside me.
100
00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,856
Well, he's gonna stand beside me
when I rule.
101
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,525
I'm gonna be ruling,
but he's gonna be standing beside me.
102
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,485
I don't like saying this,
103
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,488
but you look at him,
and he stares right back at you,
104
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,616
and I can't tell if he wants to just
105
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,828
hang out or melt me.
106
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,788
I love you, Darryl.
107
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,713
Do you have anything to say to that?
108
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,593
I love you, too.
109
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,138
I didn't force him to say that.
110
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:50,640
Um...
111
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,559
That warms me terrifically.
112
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:54,728
Thank you.
113
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,524
I think... I never thought I'd say this,
114
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,236
but I'm really beginning
to miss my old housemate.
8360
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