Original subtitles

Previously on Happy Town...

I want $250,000 or I'll be handing it over to the police.

You can never leave the Haplin town limits.

Take this out of town on my behalf.

- I killed the Magic Man! - Friddle was not the Magic Man!

- Andrew, stop. - Could be the guy.

Whoever this guy is, he's a total freak.

It began 12 years ago.

Every year, for the next seven years, someone vanishes.

- And when she vanished, Lauryn Ward was dating... - John Haplin?

If he took Lauryn, that would explain

how her hand turned up at the bread factory.

You getting anywhere with that fish, Root Beer?

Nope. Still working on it.

I do know it's a type of catfish,

- but not from around here. - Hmm.

Just what the heck is it doing in Haplin?

Not to mention, what the heck is it doing in Lauryn Ward's hand?

That, too.

Am I gonna need my lawyer?

A lawyer has nothing to do with Lauryn Ward's severed hand

popping up in a loaf of bread.

Hey, I'm as, uh, mystified as to how that happened as you.

12 years ago,

you had an affair with a girl who then went missing.

You never thought to mention that affair.

Now that girl's severed hand shows up in your bread factory,

where you control what goes in and out.

That makes you a person of interest

- in this investigation, John. - Oh, you can't be serious.

Well, why didn't you tell us about it before?

'Cause I've got a wife and a family.

But I had nothing to do with her disappearance.

Tommy, she showed up a few minutes ago

demanding to speak to you.

Mrs. Friddle.

I've been trying like hell to figure out

who killed my husband, and I am now certain of it.

It sure as hell wasn't the Stivilettos.

Come in.

Okay?

It was Dave Duncan.

Uh, that's a...

Pretty big accusation to make, Mrs. Friddle.

What makes you think that it was Big Dave Duncan?

It is all in there.

- What's this? - It's Jerry's diary.

He kept it for years.

I just found it this morning.

And in there, he talks about how Dave Duncan

took to following him around. Even took pictures.

Jerry had no idea why.

But when he confronted him about it,

you wanna to know what Dave Duncan's response was?

"I'm gonna get you."

A railroad spike, Tom.

Dave Duncan killed my husband

with a railroad spike through his head.

I want to know what you're gonna do about it.

"Wanted dead or alive" has to be the best song ever, T.C.

And why is that, Dave?

It's about this guy who knows everyone hates him,

but he still rides on a steel horse,

escaping to Bolivia.

- Where in the song does it say he's escaping to Bolivia? - It doesn't.

But Bolivia's just where everyone goes

when they're on the lam...

- Butch and Sundance, Eddie Fucci. - Who?

- Friend of my dad's. Got in trouble for fraud. - Whatever. I'm more of

a "Livin' on a prayer" kind of guy.

And besides, what he should do is

come to my grandfather's cabin in the woods.

- It's a good place to hide. Shh. - You know...

Shh. Look.

What are you doing?

He's wanted, dead or alive!

But what about a railroad spike?

Let's kill him with a railroad spike

- right in his skull. - Why would you want to do that?

Because he uses those horns to kill other deer.

No, he doesn't. The other deer are his friends.

Well, I liked killing Jerry Friddle.

What?

I mean...

Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe he wasn't the Magic Man,

but he was still a pervert.

And perverts

deserve to get holes in their head.

Tommy?

- Bad dream? - Oh.

Yeah.

No, I...

I don't know.

You might've slept less than me last night.

I've never seen you toss and turn like that.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

I keep you awake?

No.

I would've been up all night anyway.

Is anything else coming back to you?

The same things I remembered when Mr. Grieves hypnotized me.

I was underwater,

but I could breathe.

And the others were there,

but they could breathe.

How could we breathe if we were underwater?

Hey, just give yourself a break, okay?

I'm gonna find who did this to you.

Just my luck to be garroted

at the tail end of the turtleneck season.

Tell me again exactly what happened.

Well, I...

Bought my ticket, I took my seat,

I was reading the newspaper, enjoying the ride,

and then...

And then when I came to, I'm afraid your bag had gone.

Whoever did this could've easily killed me,

but for some reason, he did not.

And you didn't see anything,

- didn't get a glimpse of anybody, nothing? - I was attacked from behind,

so, no, I did not.

However...

However what?

It was probably my imagination,

but there seemed to be

an overpowering aroma of cinnamon.

- Cinnamon? - Yes, cinnamon.

It was most peculiar.

Cinnamon has been used for everything

from, uh, currency to embalming the dead.

Tell me exactly

what you've got us into here, Ms. Boone.

Where are we?

In the middle of nowhere.

I'm gonna go out there. Okay? Shh.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Andrew?

Andrew?!

Georgia Bravin

in my trailer.

Why, it's like finding a Ruby...

In a mountain of maggots.

Welcome to the House of Ushers.

As our first customer of the day,

you are entitled

to a complimentary Edward G. Robinson pen.

- Your shop is beautiful. - Oh.

Very ornamented.

Very European.

Very unimportant to this town,

like a spleen.

Actually, it's a common medical misconception

that the spleen is superfluous.

It gets lumped together with other nonessential organs

like the appendix or...

The heart in a conservative.

Regardless,

if it interferes where it shouldn't,

it becomes quickly dispensable.

Oh, I'm very well aware

that you could have me surgically removed at any time,

- Mrs. Haplin. - So you know who I am.

Oh, certainly.

I recognize your face

from the side of the Haplin nickel.

You fancy yourself a great wit, do you, Mr. Grieves?

You know, a man once asked God,

"What's a million years to you?"

And God said, "A second."

So he asked, "What's a million dollars to you?"

And God replied, "A penny."

So the man smiled and said,

"Could I borrow a penny?"

And God smiled and said,

"Yes. Just a second."

I'm so sorry. I never could tell a joke.

Wait in the car, Levon.

I'm going to have a browse.

Crepes are incredibly difficult to make.

They're almost not worth it.

What did you do with Andrew?

Eggs must be whisked perfectly,

the salt and butter calibrated just so.

Otherwise, you're making an omelet.

And the variety of crepes is endless.

I liken it to, uh,

choosing the correct truth serum.

So many options. And everybody reacts differently.

For example, that night at the hospital,

I gave you just a dash of sodium pentothal.

Everything went haywire.

Your father, on the other hand,

has the tolerance of a clydesdale.

When I wanted to find out if you told him anything,

I tried some temazepam, a little ethanol...

Nothing seemed to work.

What do you want? Why are you doing this?

You... man!

Is Andrew okay?

Ahh. So...

Tell me,

Georgia Bravin...

What?!

What the hell are you doing

in my trailer?

And here's something I think you might appreciate.

These are the infamous gloves

worn by Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's,"

and this is the very telephone

that Ray Milland used in his nefarious schemes

in "Dial M for murder."

I could lose an entire afternoon in here,

but I must be on my way.

Then when will I see you again?

Pardon me?

I'm new to town,

and I would very much like to avoid being on your bad side,

so perhaps you could instruct me

as to how to avoid such a thing.

At dinner, maybe, tonight?

Are you asking me out, Mr. Grieves?

Yes, I suppose I am...

In my own ham-fisted way.

6:30.

At Rita's...

One of the few truly decent restaurants we have here.

Until then...

Until then...

When did you find out that Lauryn Ward

was sleeping with Greggy Stiviletto?

- I don't know. Don't remember. - Well, let me help you out.

It was just before she went missing.

Now isn't that a neat coincidence?

How... how did it make you feel to find out

you were sharing a girl with a Stiviletto?

That you were banging her in the back of your big new car,

and then she would just waltz on over to the town dump...

To be finished off by another younger man?

Literally poor white trash,

taking her places that the rich fumbling boy couldn't.

You guys do know that it's called good cop/bad cop, right?

Not idiot cop/moron cop?

Now you could insult me,

you could, uh, attack my manhood

and try to get a rise out of me,

but I did not

kill that girl.

Oh, yeah!

Sure you don't wanna come sink a drink, Greggy?

How many times I gotta tell you, Lincoln?

- It's part of my parole. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, no alcohol. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Boo! Boo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Well, hello there.

Well, hello to you, too, Greggy.

So... little doe-eyed muffin likes her lovin'

a little more lurid, huh?

Greggy can get behind that.

Not so much.

This little doe-eyed muffin

has only three pet peeves.

One...

She has zero tolerance for thieves.

Two...

She doesn't like when her friends

get strangled on trains.

And three...

She really hates

dudes who refer to themselves in the third person.

How'd you find out about Lauryn and Greggy?

Driving home one night, and, um, there it was...

His, uh, nasty old muscle car, you know?

Speckled with bondo and... and... and rust.

It was parked kinda by Weeping Wall,

and the windows were steamy.

She gets out all giggly... giggly, and, uh, he follows her out,

wearing that smug grin he always used to wear.

And did you confront her about it?

'Course not. Where would be the point?

- Why not? - Well, I wasn't gonna leave my wife for her.

It was a fling.

You know, just one of those things that men do sometimes

when pretty young girls, uh, show them some attention.

Something weak men do.

And if it doesn't go good for the weak man,

then... maybe he finds some other alternate ending.

Lauryn Ward was taken by the Magic Man.

Mm. Yeah.

Oh. Oh, come on. Really?

Really?

What... a-are you guys trying to set the land speed record

for backwoods cop stupidity?

The Magic Man took seven victims...

One of them being my daughter,

my own daughter, my daughter...

So if you think for a minute...

Ah, that's it. I'm out of here.

- Sit down, John. - I won't sit down. I'm going...

- I said, "Sit down." - No, I won't sit down!

- You sit down. - Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Um... Roger, I got state lab calling for you.

We were in the woods,

and we saw the trailer, and we went in.

It was an accident.

Mm. I don't believe in accidents, Georgia Bravin.

I believe only in the hand of fate

and its gnarled knuckles.

I believe in opportunity.

After all,

I blew it the first time I tried to question you,

when I... overdosed your coffee creamer.

Perhaps the hand of fate is presenting me

with a second chance.

But what could you possibly want to question me about?

I overheard you, behind the pizza barn,

talking to that little turd out there.

You need to just relax.

See, no one knows you were at Mac's pond

- the night of the murder, Georgia. -You want me to relax?

You were there with me. What if somebody...

So I followed you to the hospital cafeteria.

But I messed up my potion, and you were useless.

Why is it so important to you

what I saw at the ice shack?

Why do you think?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. You killed Jerry Friddle!

No. Of course not.

I'm here to find the man who killed Jerry Friddle,

because that's my job.

Your job?

Dan Farmer, state police.

You're a cop?

I am, maybe, the best cop ever.

You're insane.

Why does everybody always say that?

You know you can't keep me like this much longer.

My brothers will be home soon.

Tell me where my money is.

You've got it all wrong, baby doll,

'cause that ain't your money.

I didn't think you just coming along

right after the accident was any coincidence.

No. I think you were following me.

But the question is... why?

What? You're gonna torture me?

I was in prison, sugar.

And I don't know if you've noticed,

but I'm cute.

And all the big boys in cellblock 6,

they tried things.

They didn't get anything from Greggy.

Neither will you.

What did I tell you

about using the third person?

You little psycho!

Now I don't know who you are or what your game is,

but if you're just some little pint-sized grifter

trying to pull one over on Peggy Haplin,

you just went up against the wrong broad.

Which leads me to my next question.

In my experience,

elegant men of a certain age are single for two reasons...

Mm.

Gay or crazy.

And your accent notwithstanding, you don't seem gay,

so... are you crazy?

Well...

I was widowed in Manchester...

Oh.

And I was very lost and lonely,

so I decided upon America,

but not the America that I knew...

New York or Chicago or San Francisco.

No, I-I wanted something more...

Norman Rockwell,

less George Orwell.

A blister on the turnpike.

A blister on a turnpike?

Is that how you see us?

You know, there is an old Chinese proverb...

"If you have two pennies left in the world,

buy a loaf of bread with one,

and a lily with the other."

What do you think that means?

That even with a full belly,

life is not worth living without beauty.

You're a father, Tommy.

You know what it's like to love your child.

I'm sure you look at me, you see a mama's boy,

a spoiled brat, a cheat, maybe even a liar and a thief.

But I do not believe for a second,

you look at me and you see a monster.

So what do you say you let me go home?

Jerry Friddle.

What's Jerry Friddle got to do with this?

Just got off the phone with the state lab.

The tire tracks found up by Mac's pond,

- not 40 yards from where Friddle was murdered? - Uh-huh.

A Barracuda registered to John.

Wait a second. That... That's my son's Barracuda.

- There's gotta be a mistake. - Yeah, there has been.

I don't think you killed Lauryn Ward.

- I think you killed Jerry Friddle. - Oh, come on.

No. Hey, come on.

Put it together... The tire tracks,

the complaints that... that Friddle stalked Lauryn Ward,

the rumors around town

that... that Friddle followed little girls.

Add all that up, John. You killed Jerry Friddle.

A-a-all right. I'm... I'm confused.

So are you saying that I am the Magic Man

- or that I killed the Magic Man? - No. Neither.

I'm saying you thought you killed the Magic Man.

All right, Roger. Just... let's just...

No nothing, Tommy.

We got our killer...

Right where we want him.

Crepe?

No.

Come on. You should eat.

- It's ham and artichoke. - What have you done to Georgia?

- If you hurt her, I swear to God... - You'll what?

You rich boys, you all think you can move the mountains,

when the truth is you can't even climb one.

You're handcuffed to a trailer in the middle of nowhere,

held captive by a guy

who's crazier than a pit bull spitting out peach pits,

yet you still "Swear to God"...

You'll what?

Are you him?

Him who?

The Magic Man?

I am...

Not the Magic Man,

but I am capable of magic, man.

Then why do you have my little sister's sweatshirt?

I nicked it from your house,

back when I was working on the case.

I nicked clothing from all the victims' houses, actually.

See, I like having it around...

Sniff it, touch it.

It reminds me that these are real people,

these victims.

You see, I want to catch him just as badly as you do,

Andrew Haplin, believe you me.

He's the one that got away.

Every cop has one.

You're a cop?

Crepe?

Good boy.

Now...

Your girl says she saw nothing up at Mac's pond

the night of Jerry Friddle's murder.

Is that true?

Yeah. That's why we didn't go to the cops.

She didn't see anything.

Mm. How about you?

I didn't see anything either.

If you are lying to me, Andrew,

I will kill you in your dreams.

Bon appetit.

Why won't Peggy let me leave town?

I don't know, muffin.

Peggy just asked me to do her a favor.

- Hey, bro! I got us some chop suey. - Womper!

- I thought we could have ourselves... - No. Womper, look out!

You gonna tell me what Peggy wants from me, huh?

Maybe he's not as tough as you.

Womper, you want to see how much your brother loves you?

All right! All right.

Look, Peggy knows about the hammer.

That's why she won't let you leave.

I gave her the hammer back.

- Who sent you here? - Who said anybody sent me?

Because whoever sent you here

knows why that hammer's valuable to Peggy,

and as long as that person's out there,

Peggy's gonna be looking over her shoulder.

She's using me as a lure.

Exactly, muffin.

And when your boss shows up in Haplin,

looking for you,

looking for his money...

Oh, it is all over.

Peggy'll get rid of both of you.

Problem solved.

I can honestly say I haven't had this much fun...

In decades.

This morning

I would've found a remark like that highly offensive.

What about now?

I find it singularly charming.

Then this has been...

As we used to say in the merchant marine...

- "A boat worth sailing." - Good night, Mr. Grieves.

Good night to you, Mrs. Haplin.

Oh.

And good night to you, too, kind Levon.

* Out of the darkness, visions all come to light. *

Hey, T.C.

* Cold apparitions, demons *

It's over, Dave.

John Haplin's about to be charged

with Jerry Friddle's murder.

I can't let that happen.

You gotta come with me and confess.

W... uh...

But you're the Sheriff.

Can't you just not charge him?

* Oh, the light is dawning *

* Shining in the eyes of spirits gone *

Okay, T.C. if you say so.

* Spirits gone *

Okay.

But, um...

Uh, can I have tonight?

To tell my mother?

* ...of the old *

* Got magic water *

This is gonna break her heart.

* A drop could take your soul *

All right, Dave.

* Atop a mountain, the old man's spirit lives *

But then we end this.

* Who split the ground where he fell down *

Look at me, man.

"Wanted dead or alive."

I remember when we used to love that song.

* Shining in the eyes of spirits gone *

You did.

Right.

Right.

Uh, you were always more of a "Livin' on a prayer" guy.

I still am.

* Out of the darkness *

* Visions all come to light *

Are you okay?

I'm okay.

The interstate is one mile that way.

Now let's just keep this our little secret, shall we?

I'll be watching you.

Anybody learns about this

and, well, I'll find out about it.

I think you both know I'm capable of much more

than just a really good blueberry crepe.

Remember,

hand of fate...

It's on you now.

Bye-bye.

House of Ushers.

Hello.

Well, hello again.

I just wanted to thank you again for a lovely evening.

Oh, no. Not at all. We should, um...

We should do it again sometime.

We're having a party this weekend at Weeping Wall.

Perhaps you'd like to attend.

Even more than I would like the ascot to be back in style.

You can't just leave us here like this,

- like animals. - Oh, don't worry.

Eventually Womper will get hungry and eat himself free.

Hey!

Well, you really turned out to be

some kind of major freak, huh?

And despite all your little secrets and lies,

I was actually kinda digging you.

'Cause everything that happened between us, that was real.

I know you felt it, too.

You used me.

No one likes to be used.

And how many people have you used

since you started your little mission?

I'll bet that nutty englishman is just the first of many.

You stay away from him.

And you stay away from me, too, Greggy,

or I'll be back. And if I do,

these past 12 hours will seem like the good old days.

We gotta cut Haplin loose.

We are close to a confession.

He's not our guy.

I know that.

You do?

I talked to the state lab.

They told me about the flour that was found on Friddle.

They said it could've only come from one place...

Big Dave Duncan's.

That's a key piece of evidence

you omitted from the case file, Tommy.

Your old man means an awful lot to me.

I was at the bottom of a bottle of gin,

about to get booted off the force in Saint Paul.

Griff talked to me,

gave me a job here

and helped me get sober.

I will do anything for Griffin Conroy.

And while he's out of commission,

I will make sure that his son

is keeping by the right and the rigid.

Now this Big Dave thing has gone on way too long, Tommy.

You need to bring your ace boon in,

because if you don't,

I'm gonna have to bring him in for you.

Hello?

Hey, Mrs. Duncan. It's Tommy. Is Dave around?

I thought he was with you.

- With me? - Yes.

He told me you boys were going on a fishing trip this weekend.

Packed a bag and everything.

Thanks.

Ohh.

Ohh.

One...

Two...

Three... four...

Five... six...

Seven.

Ohh.

I can't believe that psycho is a cop.

- How is that possible? - Maybe he's so insane

his methods will actually find the Magic Man.

I'm just saying my family enlisted

the best law enforcement agencies out there,

and they didn't come up with squat,

so if that snap-job can give us some closure with Addie...

I think we should do what you've been saying all along...

Pack our bags, get in your car, and get the hell out of Haplin.

For real?

For real.

I got no more questions for you, John.

You're free to go home.

I'm free to go home? 20 minutes ago,

I was the love child of Charles Manson and Ted Bundy.

I'm free to go home?

Got some new evidence on the Friddle case.

We know you're not the killer.

But I'm still a suspect in the Lauryn Ward case, right?

I don't know. All I know is you ain't got no good in you.

Don't take a cop to see that.

Now I don't know what you done wrong

or how I'm gonna catch you... Yet.

But I promise you,

I will figure it out.

Well...

Good luck with that, Hobbsy.

Better, nastier, stronger men than you have tried...

Like my mother.

Hey, you in there, Dave?

Can you hear me, Dave?

You stay there, Tommy.

Hey. You stay right there!

Hey, put the gun down.

I found the cages.

- What are you talking about? - Seven cages for seven victims.

Oh, this has got to stop, Dave.

You don't believe me? You never believe me!

Let me show you.

Let... me... show you.

It was near here.

Near here.

There was...

All these dead birds around a-a-a big old stump.

You gotta believe me.

No, I don't, Dave.

There were seven cages

for seven people.

There had been people in them... seven!

I saw their clothes. I saw their stuff!

Put the rifle down, okay? I want to show you something.

No, no!

All right, take it easy. Fingertips... slowly.

What is that? What is that?

- Is that the warrant for my arrest?! - No, Dave, just listen to me.

- I'm not going to jail, T.C.! I am not! - Dave, pl... Listen to me.

- Not while the Magic Man is still out there! - Dave, damn it, listen to me!

I'm sorry, T.C. Wanted...

Dead or alive. I'm there for you, T.C., for the long haul.

I killed the Magic Man.

You're my best friend since third grade, Dave.

You can't heal a wound until ya clean it out.

Oh, God.

Just hang on, okay, buddy? Just...

Just hang on. I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Thanks for everything.

I loved being your pal.

I'm sorry, Dave.

No!

I'm sorry.

* The hand of fate *

* Is on me now *

* It pick me up and it knock me down *

* I'm on the run *

* I'm prison bound *

* The hand of fate is heavy now *

Playing with your instruments, Ms. Boone?

* The wheel of fortune keeps turning round *

I need to get into Weeping Wall.

What's so funny?

Oh, nothing at all...

Except I think that can be arranged.

* And he had papers that the judge had signed *

So I go to the barn, and I walked in

and started shooting. Boom!

I can see he's right in there...

But I'm on the floor being hog-tied.

My whole face is being duct taped.

Greggy's being strung up.

I don't know what the hell she was doing to him

or what she had planned.

* It picked me up and it kicked me right down *

- * Kicked me right down * - ...Brutually interrogated.

* Kicked me right down *

* I had to save her life *

* Yeah, I gunned him twice *

* Yeah, I watched him die *

* Watch out, boy *

* Yeah, I watched him die *

Come in.

You know, sometimes I wonder if, uh...

If my own brother

killed a man.

Someone who was totally disposable, uh,

wasn't bringing a damn bit of good to the world...

What would I do?

Would I let him go or would I turn him in?

How do you answer yourself?

I'd turn him in because that's my job.

* Ah, yeah *

* Come on, ah, yeah *

Look, I know it's hard, and, uh...

But you did the right thing, okay?

I'll see you, man.

Plane ticket.

Leaving tonight

for Minneapolis St. Paul to La Paz, Bolivia.

For David Duncan.

He was my friend.