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1
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,320
- Hey.
- Hi. How are you?
2
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,840
You know,
I wish it wasn't Thursday.
3
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,440
Steve and Cindy day.
He already got you a tea by the way.
4
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,240
- He's here?
- Yeah.
5
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,240
He asked to see
my driver's license.
6
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,600
- What?
- Yeah.
7
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,000
- What did say?
- I said no.
8
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:45,880
What reason did he give?
9
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,920
He wanted to compare it to his.
10
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,200
He wanted to see if they changed
in the last few years.
11
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,000
- Bullshit.
- Do you think so?
12
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,200
- He's obsessed.
- I'm sorry.
13
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,400
- So, here's what I found out.
- You asked to see Jay's ID.
14
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,400
That's a rather
dramatic interpretation.
15
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,920
I wanted to see what the new
licenses looked like. That's all.
16
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,960
They wouldn't show me
of course. Top secret.
17
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,360
I think "private"
rather than "top secret".
18
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,920
What if I were a traffic cop,
19
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,240
would her driver's license
be top secret then?
20
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:19,520
- Their driver's license.
- Damn it.
21
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,800
Scott, please don't train
as a traffic cop
22
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,800
so you can ask to see their ID.
23
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,800
Okay. So here, can I
report what I found out?
24
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,560
- About Jay?
- No. I'm not insane.
25
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,600
I've been investigating
your new life.
26
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,840
It's not a new life.
27
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,280
So, all the days and nights that
I thought you were
28
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,680
in our New York apartment
29
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,640
visiting our daughters,
our grandchildren,
30
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:43,680
you were actually in Sabbath
Day Lake Village in Maine.
31
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,400
Hell of a drive. Eight hours
if there's no traffic.
32
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,840
You're celibate, which anyway,
we'll get to that, I guess.
33
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,360
You believe
in the dualism of God.
34
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,440
That is to say, you believe that
God is both male and female,
35
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,720
and there aren't a lot of you left.
36
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,000
What are you talking about?
37
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,720
Why am I driving to a village
eight hours away?
38
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,880
'Cause you have to
if you're a Shaker,
39
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,040
as you announced
in our session last week,
40
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,880
and there is nowhere else
in the whole of the USA.
41
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:10,720
I'm not a Shaker.
42
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:12,560
Well, what are you then?
43
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,880
Well, I'm part of a Quaker community.
44
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,320
- You're a Quaker?
- Well, yes, maybe.
45
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,000
- Not a Shaker?
- No.
46
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,560
I heard Shaker.
47
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,240
Well, you heard wrong.
I'm not a Shaker.
48
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,200
- And there's a difference?
- Clearly.
49
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,720
I don't know
too much about Shakers,
50
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,080
but I know Quakers aren't celibate.
51
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,200
How do you know that?
52
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,960
Well, we've had sex
since I became a Quaker.
53
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,440
So, there's that.
54
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,360
I've had sex with a Quaker.
55
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,480
Jesus.
56
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:48,320
Anyway, Quakers are regular people.
57
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:52,760
So, why be a Quaker?
Why quake?
58
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,400
What do you do
when you see these people?
59
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,760
Well, mostly, I think, meditate.
60
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,440
Right. You couldn't
do that at home?
61
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,400
The point is to think with others.
It's a prayer circle.
62
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,000
But nobody says anything.
63
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,680
Well, occasionally,
someone will speak.
64
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,960
- Do you?
- I have done.
65
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,320
What do you say?
66
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,120
I'm not sure I want to go into that.
67
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,200
It wasn't anything
about me or the marriage?
68
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,760
It's always about you.
69
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,920
I don't know if you're joking or not.
70
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,720
I am capable of joking.
71
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,760
But if you're joking,
why won't you tell me?
72
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,680
Because you're not
the most sympathetic guy
73
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,600
when it comes to this kind of thing.
74
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,600
I don't know
what "this kind of thing" is.
75
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:40,000
Well, I don't know what you'd call it.
Matters of the spirit, I guess.
76
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,560
"Matters of the spirit"?
No, you're right.
77
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,360
But I want to know how it works.
So you...
78
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:51,240
You're sitting there in silence,
doing your thing, and...
79
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,320
Well, I once said something
about a piece of music.
80
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,280
A piece of music?
What piece of music?
81
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:03,000
Does it really matter?
If I told you that piece of music was
82
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:06,200
"Me and you and a dog named Boo",
would that help you?
83
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,560
- The Lobo song?
- If that's who it was?
84
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:12,440
"Me and you"...
I'm surprised you even knew it.
85
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,600
I'm the one that listens
to oldies radio. What did you say?
86
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,640
Okay, first of all, I know songs
in the 1970s. I grew up then, too.
87
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,960
And, secondly, I never
actually mentioned the song.
88
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,200
It was a preposterous example.
89
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:25,840
Do they have any other songs?
90
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,240
- Lobo?
- Yeah.
91
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,360
Can we talk about Lobo
another time?
92
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,920
And I think Lobo was a "him".
Not a "them".
93
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,320
Unless, of course...
94
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,000
Don't say it.
It's unworthy of you.
95
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,440
You don't know
what I'm going to say?
96
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,560
I absolutely do.
97
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,120
Okay. I'm predictable.
98
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,640
We should talk about chart hits
of the '70s more often.
99
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,240
I had no idea you were
this fount of knowledge.
100
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,480
Well, there you are. They say
counseling is a voyage of discovery.
101
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,600
Yeah. But this is important,
we share a culture.
102
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,320
Memories.
We're the same age.
103
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,720
A lot of married couples
are the same age.
104
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,360
People still get divorced.
105
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,560
They come to a conclusion
it's not enough.
106
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,440
Is this all because of the quaking?
107
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,440
Please be more respectful.
Enough with the quaking.
108
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,440
- Quakers don't quake?
- No!
109
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:16,520
Well, it's pretty unusual to be a
something-er and not do the something.
110
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:20,520
Swimmers swim. Robbers rob.
But Quakers don't quake.
111
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,680
You think you can trick me.
112
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,960
You're trying to get me to admit that
I've been quaking the whole time.
113
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,080
- I'm just saying.
- But why are you just saying?
114
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,280
This is important to me, Scott.
115
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,400
It's going to take up
a lot of the rest of my life.
116
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,760
Golf is gonna take up a lot of mine.
But I'm not going to divorce you.
117
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,640
- It's not the same.
- Why not?
118
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,480
Why can't I play golf,
you go to your meetings,
119
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,640
and we come home in the
evenings and watch TV.
120
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,520
Golf isn't a world view.
121
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,840
You can have a world view.
I don't care.
122
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,720
But you're not in it.
123
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,520
Nowhere in the entire world view?
124
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,280
You have a view of the world
and you can't see me?
125
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,640
- I have to be there somewhere.
- Of course you're in there somewhere.
126
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,000
Just not slap bang in the center.
127
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,480
So where am I?
128
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:03,880
On a golf course somewhere.
129
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,760
But, you know, I'm not
looking at golf courses.
130
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,040
What are you looking at?
131
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:10,920
"Tell me,"
132
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:17,040
"what is it you plan to do with
your one wild and precious life?"
133
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,600
- What?
- It's a poem.
134
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,560
- What is?
- That question.
135
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,560
It comes from a poem
by Mary Oliver.
136
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:26,920
Okay, and?
137
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,600
It's something I think about a lot.
138
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,080
The question.
139
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,440
What do you plan
to do with your life?
140
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:37,720
- "Wild and precious life".
- You ask that question?
141
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,440
Yeah, you don't?
142
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,240
- I only just heard it just now.
- But you get the drift.
143
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,840
What am I planning
to do with my life?
144
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,360
- Me?
- Yeah.
145
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,520
I'm 62. I already did it.
I'm retired.
146
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,680
My point exactly.
147
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,960
You think your life is over
because you no longer work.
148
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,640
It's not over.
Gonna play a lot of golf.
149
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,680
And then spend a lot of money
on good food and wine,
150
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:04,800
I'm going to visit Civil War
battlegrounds and Normandy beaches.
151
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,400
- Which are also battlegrounds.
- I like battlegrounds.
152
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:12,360
I'm gonna listen to every
jazz record made before 1965.
153
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,920
Gonna take the boat out.
Gonna fish.
154
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,080
Everything is the past or dead.
155
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:23,720
Civil War, D-Day, Lobo,
the jazz musicians, the fish.
156
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,560
Was there a moment
you decided all this?
157
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,400
You know, one moment you didn't want
a divorce, and next minute you did.
158
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,120
- Yes.
- When was it?
159
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,360
You won't remember.
160
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,200
Try me.
161
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,440
When you wouldn't
come to see "The Wife".
162
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:46,680
Which wife?
163
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,400
The movie. "The Wife".
Glenn Close.
164
00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,120
Seriously? Because
I wouldn't go to see a movie?
165
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,360
Seriously.
166
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,320
- I heard that movie wasn't good.
- You heard no such thing.
167
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,200
You didn't wanna see a movie
called "The Wife".
168
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,360
What did I say?
169
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,720
You said it doesn't sound
like my kind of thing,
170
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,960
yet you knew nothing about it,
apart from the title.
171
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,160
You have to admit,
it wasn't a good title.
172
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,400
What was wrong with it?
It spoke to me.
173
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,160
Those two words? "The wife"?
174
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,840
Yes, "The Wife".
175
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,800
It sounded like
a movie about a woman
176
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,080
who was overshadowed,
taken for granted, anonymous.
177
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,600
Well, I'm sorry for her, but I don't
want to watch a whole movie about her.
178
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,240
Doesn't exactly sound
action-packed.
179
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,360
Well, no.
180
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,880
- One movie, and that was it?
- Yeah.
181
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,040
I mean, that's when
I started thinking about it.
182
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,520
And then it all spooled out from there.
Once it was unspooled, I couldn't...
183
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,120
I went to see "Dunkirk" with you.
184
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,080
I went to see
the "Churchill" movie.
185
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,680
Come on. You didn't want
to see a movie
186
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,160
about the greatest
wartime leaders since Lincoln?
187
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,000
I went. That's the difference.
188
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,000
I saw "The Wife" on my own.
189
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,680
Well, how was it?
190
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,800
Is it streaming yet?
I could catch up.
191
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,160
I'm not sure you can, honey.
192
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,400
Let's go.
14196
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