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1
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,751
TED:
You know how Aunt Robin's
a big fan of Halloween,
2
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,453
always dressing up
in crazy costumes?
3
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,422
Well, she wasn't always
that way.
4
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:25,226
Back in 2005, she thought
she was too cool for Halloween,
5
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:27,027
unlike Aunt Lily.
6
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,397
Guess what came
in the mail today?
7
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,964
Our costumes?
Do they rule?
8
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,100
They rule.
9
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,267
And yours is 100% wool,
10
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:35,002
so you won't
get hypothermia
11
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,604
like last year.
12
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,907
Tarzan nipples blue.
13
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,475
You know what I love
about Halloween?
14
00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,010
It's the one night
of the year
15
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,879
chicks use to unleash
their inner ho-bag.
16
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:46,914
If a girl dresses
up as a witch,
17
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,516
she's a slutty witch.
18
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,652
If she's a cat,
she's a slutty cat.
19
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:52,653
If she's a nurse...
20
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:53,787
Wow, we get it.
21
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,657
...she's a slutty nurse.
22
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,260
Robin, what are you doing
for Halloween?
23
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,394
Oh, I don't know.
24
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,462
Probably hanging
out with Mike,
25
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,097
this guy I've
been seeing.
26
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,099
Mike? There's a Mike?
27
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,335
You have a boyfriend
and you haven't told us?
28
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:08,602
No, I mean, he's
not my boyfriend.
29
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:10,138
He's just this guy
I've been seeing
30
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,372
for a couple of weeks.
31
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,740
(sing-songy):
Boyfriend!
32
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,208
So why haven't we met him?
33
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,910
We're not really ready
to go public yet.
34
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,079
(sing-songy):
Married.
35
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,749
How about we go on a
Halloween double date?
36
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:22,850
I don't know.
37
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,386
We were kind of thinking
about staying at home
38
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,155
and dressing up
as naked people.
39
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,657
Come on, Robin, trot
out your new fella.
40
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,925
Let us judge and evaluate
him behind your back.
41
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:32,860
It'll be fun.
42
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,929
Hey, Ted, you'll never guess
what happened.
43
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:36,764
Your costumes came?
44
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,199
Our cost... Yes.
45
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,500
That is why
we're best friends.
46
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,002
Hey, Ted, what are you
doing for Halloween?
47
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:42,836
Well...
48
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,104
(groaning)
What?
49
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,906
Every Halloween, Ted waits
50
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,275
for the Slutty Pumpkin.
51
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:48,075
That's right.
52
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,577
What's the "Slutty Pumpkin"?
53
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,445
You mean, "Who is
the Slutty Pumpkin?"
54
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,647
It was four years ago...
55
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:56,049
I was at this Halloween party
up on the roof of our building.
56
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,418
I'm about to call it
an early night
57
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,487
when out of nowhere
appeared this girl
58
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,056
in the sexiest pumpkin costume.
59
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:05,659
Wait, how can a pumpkin
costume be sexy?
60
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,761
It was carved
in strategic places.
61
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,130
So, uh, we're at the bar,
62
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,732
and I see her mix Kahlua...
63
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,100
Kahlua and root beer.
64
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,102
A cocktail
she invented herself.
65
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:15,869
And she called it...
66
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,137
"The Tootsie Roll..."
67
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,172
ALL:
Because it tastes
68
00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,973
like an alcoholic Tootsie Roll.
Hey!
69
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,442
Can I please tell the story?
70
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,043
So we had
this instant connection.
71
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,413
She gave me her number,
but then...
72
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,548
ALL:
Something went terribly wrong.
73
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,350
Guys!
74
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,051
Then something went
terribly wrong.
75
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,854
Happy Halloween.
76
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,490
Sonny, where's Cher?
77
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:40,228
Cher?
Right here, babe.
78
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,330
I just met
the perfect woman.
79
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:45,165
She's funny.
She's beautiful.
80
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,400
She loves Star Wars.
81
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,101
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's her take on Ewoks?
82
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:48,969
Loves 'em.
83
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,037
Oh, good.
84
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,939
I don't know why people
are so cynical about Ewoks.
85
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,475
The rebellion would have failed
without the Ewoks.
86
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,943
And get this:
She's a marine biologist.
87
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,145
She spent a year in Antarctica
studying penguins.
88
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,179
Oh, penguins are cool.
89
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,814
Kind of like
black-and-white Ewoks.
90
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:01,782
I approve.
91
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,017
Hey, where's my,
uh, Kit-Kat?
92
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,753
I put it right here
on this table.
I don't know,
93
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,055
but we've plenty
of chocolate here.
94
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,089
No, no, you don't understand.
95
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,458
I need that Kit-Kat;
she wrote her number
96
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:11,825
on that wrapper. Where is it?
97
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,261
Uh-oh.
98
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,497
Hey, Dracula!
99
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,931
Come on, give me the...
Give me it!
100
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,036
Where's the Kit-Kat?
101
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,539
Where's the Kit-Kat?!
102
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:28,476
Never found her number,
never saw her again.
103
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:29,510
But every year,
they have
104
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,911
a Halloween party
up on the roof,
105
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,246
so that's where I'll be.
106
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,081
You know, Ted,
it's been four years.
107
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,450
She could be engaged
or married,
108
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:39,753
or, God forbid, fat.
109
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,255
I don't know.
110
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,524
I got a feeling.
This could be the year.
111
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,826
Halloween is a night
of wonder and magic.
112
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,027
(all groan)
113
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,061
All right, bring
the mockery.
114
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,297
Fine, I can take it.
115
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,964
But, come on, wouldn't it be
the coolest story ever
116
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,966
if the Slutty Pumpkin
turned out to be my future wife?
117
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,704
Oh, on the off-chance
that that could happen,
118
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,473
maybe we should stop calling her
the Slutty Pumpkin.
119
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:00,808
That's a really good point.
120
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,142
That's a good idea.
121
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,045
Ted, is your
world ready
122
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,080
to be rocked,
rocked, rocked?
123
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,449
Can't wait.
124
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,920
So...
125
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,555
what do you think?
126
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:15,856
So, what do you think?
127
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,525
(squawks)
128
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,092
Wow.
129
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,794
Marshall, are you wearing
eyeliner?
130
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:21,862
Oh, yeah.
131
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,731
Weirdly hot, right?
132
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,501
We are so going to win the
costume contest this year.
133
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:30,438
First prize: $50 gift
certificate at the bar.
134
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,039
And how much did you pay
for your costumes?
135
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,273
$100.
136
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,475
Each.
137
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:38,346
Well, I think
you guys look great.
138
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:41,749
What are you going as?
Oh, like I even need to ask.
139
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,484
Hey, I want the Slutty Pumpkin
to recognize me,
140
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,620
and she knows me as...
a hanging chad.
141
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,323
What? She thought
it was hilarious.
142
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:50,824
Yeah, four years ago,
143
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:53,894
but nobody remembers
what the hell a hanging chad is.
144
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,128
What a sad commentary
145
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,430
on our national
attention span...
146
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,366
that we could forget
such a turbulent time
147
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,501
in our political history.
148
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,902
Sad commentary.
149
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:02,870
(squawks)
150
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:03,971
All right,
151
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:04,938
Polly got to pee.
152
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,874
Again?
153
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,175
Where you going?
154
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,544
It's an elaborate costume.
155
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,550
(power chords playing
pop intro)
156
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:29,062
* Highway to the danger zone
157
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:34,334
* Gonna take you
right into the danger zone *
158
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,369
(music stops)
159
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:37,471
No, no, not again,
not this year.
160
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:38,839
You're going as my wingman.
161
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:39,840
Flight suit up.
162
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:40,741
No thanks.
163
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,176
I'm sticking with
the hanging chad.
164
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,712
Oh, you're dangerous,
Maverick.
165
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,347
Your ego's writing checks
your body can't cash.
166
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:48,816
Okay.
167
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,920
Here's the plan,
and I crap you not.
168
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:53,921
I'm getting us
169
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:57,658
into the Victoria's Secret
Halloween Party.
170
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,393
Trust me, by the end
of the night,
171
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,929
your chad will not
be hanging.
172
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,564
We can get rejected
by supermodels
173
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,632
any night of the year.
174
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,866
Tonight I'm going
up to the roof,
175
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,034
I'm going to
have a few beers,
176
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,902
I'm going to wait for
the Slutty Pumpkin.
177
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,504
It's just what I do.
178
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:13,240
Hmm. Victoria's Secret models
179
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:15,576
prancing around in bras
and panties...
180
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:20,080
or Yale preppies reuniting
their stupid a capella group.
181
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,049
What's that, left hand?
"Right hand sucks"?
182
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,517
Word.
183
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:24,752
Heading up to the roof.
184
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:27,087
Well, boys, looks like
it's just the three of us.
185
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,556
What's that? "Self five"?
186
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:29,723
Nice. We out.
187
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,327
Hey, Chad,
how's it hanging?
188
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:37,064
Hey, word play, funny.
189
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,500
Whoo, nice outfit.
190
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,934
I'm a parrot.
191
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:42,436
You sure are.
192
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:43,471
Where's Mike?
193
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,538
He's meeting me here.
194
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,173
I ran late covering
the Halloween parade
195
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,508
in the Village.
196
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,610
There are, like,
a zillion gay pirates this year.
197
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,546
Seriously,
does my eyeliner look okay?
198
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,482
Yes, it's weirdly hot.
199
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,650
So, where's your costume?
200
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,251
(knocking)
Uh, you know,
Mike and I joked
201
00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,520
about doing
something together,
202
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:02,022
but we decided
not to dress up.
203
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,892
Oh, geez.
204
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:06,560
Hi.
205
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:07,995
Uh, everyone,
206
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,029
this is Michael.
207
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,298
That is not his real hair.
208
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,133
Um, where's your
costume, Gretel?
209
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,434
You thought I was...
210
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,369
Oh, I was just kidding.
211
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,171
I've got to stop
making jokes in e-mails.
212
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,674
It's so hard to convey tone.
213
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,544
I think we got them beat.
214
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,349
I can't believe you
talked me into this.
215
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,019
I didn't.
You followed me up here.
216
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,321
This party sucks.
217
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,190
There's seven
chicks here.
218
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:40,060
There's six
chicks here.
219
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,062
Relax. The night is young.
220
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,463
It's going to get better.
221
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,065
Ladies and gentlemen,
222
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:48,101
as on pitch as they were
at Spring Fling '95,
223
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:51,505
it's my pleasure to welcome back
the Shaggarats.
224
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,106
CROWD (cheering):
Whoo!
225
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,843
Whoo!
226
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:59,412
* My Bonnie lies
over the ocean *
227
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,550
* My Bonnie lies
over the sea *
228
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:06,787
* My Bonnie lies
over the ocean *
229
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,957
* Oh, bring back
my Bonnie to me *
230
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,196
(all giggling)
231
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,865
(mimicking pirate):
What be a pirate's
232
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:21,034
favorite kind
of sweater?
233
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,270
Arr-gyle.
234
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,106
MARSHALL:
And what be
235
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:31,879
a pirate's favorite
fast food restaurant?
236
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:34,281
Arr-by's.
237
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,551
'Twould think it
would be Arby's.
238
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:40,153
(regular voice):
But, actually, it's
Long John Silver's.
239
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,454
(all chuckling)
240
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,523
Actually, I kind of
need this hand to eat.
241
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,458
Oh..
242
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,060
(chuckles)
243
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,629
Oh, yeah.
244
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:49,697
(both growl like pirates)
245
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,464
Oh, thank you.
246
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,566
I'm starrr...ving!
247
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,767
Thank you.
248
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,537
It's so nice
to meet you, Mike.
249
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,106
You guys are
really cute together.
250
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,374
Yeah, we've been spending
a lot of time together.
251
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,877
We're even getting to that point
where we finish each other's...
252
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,479
This cheeseburger
is so...
253
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,481
Good. See?
254
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,150
(chuckles)
255
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,720
I think you won
the dish-off tonight, baby.
256
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:15,455
This steak totally
bitch-slapped my pork chops.
257
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:16,857
MARSHALL:
That may be true,
258
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,694
but your rice pilaf kicked
my spinach in the crotch
259
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,796
so hard it threw up
a little bit.
260
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,497
(laughs)
261
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,033
MARSHALL:
Mmm... mmm.
262
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,467
Mmm.
263
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,837
Robin, you have
to try this chicken.
264
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,005
Oh, that's good.
I'm okay. Thanks.
265
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,541
It's really tasty.
266
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,144
I'm just really feeling
this cheeseburger.
267
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,779
MIKE:
Come on.
268
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,013
Just try a little bite.
269
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,783
Dude, I'm kind of
in the zone here.
270
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,689
Oh, for God's sakes.
271
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:53,060
Really tasty.
272
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,765
(sustaining notes
in harmony)
273
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,836
(cheering and applause)
274
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,206
Hey.
275
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,941
Hey.
276
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,978
So what does a fella
have to do
277
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:14,081
to get lei'd around here?
278
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,584
Yeah.
279
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:21,021
Right. 'Cause I'm
wearing a lei.
280
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,858
It isn't funny
if you explain the joke.
281
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:27,995
Let's bail.
282
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,097
No, Barney, come on.
I'm having fun.
283
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,766
Plus, it's really great to
see all these guys again.
284
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,335
Name one person you know
at this party.
285
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,204
Well, there's Ninja,
286
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,339
Back of Horse.
287
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,674
Hey, where's
Front of Horse?
288
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:43,076
That guy's a riot.
Where is he?
289
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,412
Okay, I'm leaving.
290
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,280
But just know that this
Victoria's Secret party
291
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,648
is on a yacht.
292
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,718
And what will be sticking
to that yacht?
293
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,286
The "Barnacle."
294
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,454
Really?
295
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,655
That's your
nickname now?
296
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:56,690
Yeah, the Barnacle.
The Barnacle?
297
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,925
That's it.
298
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,193
Barnacle out.
299
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,129
Have fun, Barnacle.
300
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,533
So... do you like Mike?
301
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,235
Do you like Mike?
302
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,770
Of course I do. Why?
303
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,939
It just doesn't
seem like it.
304
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,674
You won't share your food.
You won't wear a costume.
305
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,143
Oh, Lily, you know me.
306
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,178
I'm just not into
all that coupley stuff.
307
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,981
Okay, I know that stuff
looks dumb from the outside,
308
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,483
but it's kind of the
greatest thing in the world
309
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,718
when you're a part of it.
310
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:26,019
If you just gave it
311
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:28,055
a chance, you might like it.
312
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,957
Are you trying to get me
to join a cult?
313
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,225
Robin, Mike likes you.
314
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:34,227
If you don't start
meeting him halfway,
315
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,362
you're gonna lose him.
316
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,296
What?
317
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:37,464
Look, it's Halloween.
318
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,633
Just put on the girlfriend
costume for a night.
319
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:43,804
Okay, well, what am I
supposed to do,
320
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,807
buy him a giant teddy bear
or something?
321
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:50,210
How about you start
by sharing dessert?
322
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,579
I can share dessert.
323
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,713
Good.
324
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,850
He better want
the brownie sundae,
325
00:11:56,884 --> 00:12:00,220
but yeah, yeah,
I can totally share.
326
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,663
Barney?
327
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:11,664
What, you're back?
328
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:12,632
That's right.
329
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,267
In a totally
new costume.
330
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:17,504
Every Halloween
I bring a spare costume,
331
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,373
in case I strike out with
the hottest girl at the party.
332
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,743
That way I have a second chance
to make a first impression.
333
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:25,879
What's with the face?
334
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,948
It's half you're pathetic,
half I have to pee.
335
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,083
So go to the bathroom.
No, there's a huge line.
336
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,552
I don't want to miss
the "Slutty Pumpkin."
337
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,121
So pee off the roof.
338
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,889
Ooh, Ted,
pee off the roof.
339
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,891
Whoa, I wouldn't do
that if I were you.
340
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,326
There's people
walking down there.
341
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,895
Come on, Ted,
who you gonna listen to?
342
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:45,298
Me or Mr. Goody-Goody
over there?
343
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:48,969
Yeah, whatever. You
guys got some weed?
344
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,471
A little
to the left, Marshall.
345
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:52,739
ROBIN:
Lily, squat down.
346
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,374
This is gonna be a slaughter.
347
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:58,178
None of these other costumes
even come close to ourrr...s!
348
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:01,314
Take the damn
picture. (squawks)
349
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:02,349
Got it.
350
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,352
I still think we should have won
as Sonny and Cher.
351
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,787
Maybe if I'd worn
the red dress. Huh.
352
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,290
If I could
turn back time.
353
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,059
(gasps)
354
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,760
Oh, wow, this sundae
looks so good.
355
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,062
I could eat
the whole thing.
356
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,498
But, um, I would
much rather share
357
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,234
this small one-scoop sundae
with you, Mike.
358
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:23,904
Apple tart? Excellent
choice, Lily-pad.
359
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,173
Thanks, Marshmallow.
360
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:29,542
Well, let's dig in, Mi... Mi...
Microwave Oven.
361
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,915
Let me guess.
362
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:38,118
Every guy's used the lei'd line
on you tonight, huh?
363
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,920
You wouldn't believe.
364
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,222
I apologize for my gender.
365
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,723
Let me make it up to you.
Make you a drink?
366
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,092
Oh.
367
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,894
You certainly are
a charming devil.
368
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:50,697
I'm also a "horny" devil.
369
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:51,965
Yeah.
370
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,433
(chuckles)
371
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,035
No.
372
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,041
Oh, go to hell.
373
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,246
You know,
374
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,747
if you guys
like tiramisu,
375
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,149
we found this little
Italian place...
376
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,084
No, you found it.
I came with you.
377
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,386
Go on.
378
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,722
I'm just saying,
we love tiramisu.
379
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,690
I cannot get
enough of it.
380
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,192
We're crazy for the stuff.
381
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,228
I'm crazy, and
you're crazy...
382
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,330
...for tiramisu.
383
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:25,065
MIKE:
Right.
384
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,366
We love tiramisu.
385
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,167
Mm-hmm.
386
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,568
Am I wrong saying that?
No, no, no.
387
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,237
I mean, it just sounds
a little bit weird.
388
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,104
Doesn't it?
389
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,973
We love tiramisu?
390
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,707
Isn't really a group activity.
391
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,876
Loving tiramisu?
392
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,478
Right?
393
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:43,917
So this Italian place,
how is their cannoli?
394
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,385
ROBIN:
Oh!
395
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,054
Easy there, hungry.
396
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,192
Mmm.
397
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,761
Yeah, looks like we're
both hungry.
398
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:55,695
(chuckles)
399
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,997
Hey, is that Gary Oldman?
400
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:57,630
Wait... where?
401
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,369
I don't see...
402
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,077
Brain freeze.
403
00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:14,481
Okay, Victoria's Secret party,
right now.
404
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:15,382
Nope.
Come on.
405
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,184
I can't stand watching
my delusional friend
406
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,152
waste another
precious Halloween.
407
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,454
Ted, the "Slutty Pumpkin"
is not coming.
408
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:22,522
She might.
409
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,456
(groans)
410
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,158
Come on, Barney, this
is not about the odds.
411
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,426
It's about believing.
412
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,327
This girl, she...
413
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,996
she represents
something to me.
414
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,397
I don't know.
415
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,531
Hope.
416
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:34,601
Wow.
417
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,037
I did not understand
a word you just said.
418
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:42,442
Lingerie models on a boat!
419
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,544
See ya.
420
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,779
No. See ya.
421
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:47,814
(laughs devilishly)
422
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,149
Ow!
423
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,520
Want to drink
the melty part?
424
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:54,821
You know what?
425
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,156
It's getting late.
426
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:57,890
I think I'm gonna
427
00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:58,958
take off.
428
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,727
Hey.
429
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,196
I thought we were gonna
follow those breadcrumbs
430
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,232
back to my place, Hansel.
431
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,800
Robin, I don't get the sense
you like being with me.
432
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,236
I like being with you.
433
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,770
Not as much as you
like being alone.
434
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,205
You like...
435
00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:14,241
eating your own food,
sleeping in your own bed,
436
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,575
doing your own crosswords.
437
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,310
Who uses ink?
438
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,879
Sorry.
439
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,948
Okay, I'm a bit
set in my ways.
440
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,583
That doesn't mean
that this won't work.
441
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,685
Actually, it kind of does.
442
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:28,121
Wait. Are we breaking up?
443
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:30,490
No,aren't
breaking up.
444
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,460
I'm breaking
up with you.
445
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:43,070
TED:
And then just as I was
about to lose hope...
446
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:49,076
She spent a year in Antarctica
studying penguins.
447
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,712
Kahlua, root beer...
448
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,381
Could this penguin be
449
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:57,350
the "Slutty Pumpkin?"
450
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,027
Uh, excuse me.
451
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,130
This is going to sound crazy,
452
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,365
but I met someone
up on this roof four years ago,
453
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:16,736
and they mixed that cocktail,
and-and they loved penguins.
454
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,539
By any chance, was that you?
455
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,310
It's you.
456
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,745
Everyone thought
I was crazy, but I came...
457
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,147
You are such a loser.
458
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,750
Come on, I came
back for you, Ted.
459
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,619
I penguin-suited up
460
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,254
to show you the
error of your ways.
461
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,123
And to score
Hula Girl's number.
462
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,690
Check and check.
463
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:38,958
Unbelievable.
464
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,027
Yes, it is.
465
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,895
Oh. Wait a minute.
466
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,364
You're that lame army guy.
467
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,166
What? No, No,
that's some other guy,
468
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,634
and he was a kick-ass
fighter pilot.
469
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,236
I cannot believe I
gave you my number.
470
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,703
Yeah, well, you did. Thanks.
471
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:51,471
Yeah. Well, give it back.
472
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,472
Well, uh, I don't think so.
473
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:53,640
I earned it fair and square.
474
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,941
I'm calling you.
475
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,210
But I'm never gonna
go out with you.
476
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:59,011
But how will you know it's me?
477
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,348
I'm a master of disguise.
478
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,015
Yeah.
479
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,684
(sighs)
480
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,255
Nice.
481
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,556
Come on, Ted.
482
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,591
Victoria's Secret party,
now, let's go.
483
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:12,859
I'm staying.
484
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:16,062
(sighs):
Fine! Fine...
485
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:16,929
What are you doing?
486
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,599
I'm flippering you off.
487
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,937
Oh, sweetie,
I'm so sorry.
488
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,072
Seriously,
489
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,407
it's not a big deal.
490
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,976
He wanted to be a we,
and I wanted to be an I.
491
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,912
Dudes are such chicks.
492
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,681
Hmm.
493
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,715
You guys, I'm fine.
494
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,116
MAN:
Ladies and
495
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,085
gentlemen, the results are in.
496
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,987
And the winners
of this year's
497
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,455
costume contest are...
498
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,957
Lily Aldren
as a parrot,
499
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,893
and Marshall Erikson
as a gay pirate!
500
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,094
Oh, yeah!
501
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,496
Wait, what did he say?
502
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,864
Oh, who cares, Marshall?
We won!
503
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:54,100
Wait. Gay pirate...
where are you getting that from?
504
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,535
Dude, you're
wearing eyeliner.
505
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:56,669
Okay.
506
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,606
I just want everybody here
to know I'm not a gay pirate.
507
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,708
I have sex
with my parrot all the time.
508
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,476
That came out wrong.
509
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,778
Oh, yeah, doesn't matter.
510
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,046
We won!
511
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,115
I love you,
Marshmallow.
512
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,417
I love you, too, Lily Pad.
513
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,252
You guys, let me
get a picture.
514
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,525
(camera shutter clicking)
515
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:22,161
* I want to know
what it's like *
516
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:27,267
* On the inside of love...
517
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,202
I had a feeling
I'd find you here.
518
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,703
Oh, hey.
519
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,439
If you're here
for the Shaggarats,
520
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,441
you just missed
the fourth encore.
521
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:38,010
I never played any team sports.
522
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,646
Are we playing "I never"?
523
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,081
'Cause there's nothing left
but peach schnapps.
524
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,817
I played tennis in high school.
525
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,052
You know why?
526
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,654
Because it was just me
out there.
527
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,722
I couldn't even stand
playing doubles.
528
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,059
I just got dumped.
529
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,862
Oh, man, that sucks.
530
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,196
Yeah. It's okay.
531
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,765
I wasn't that into him.
532
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,166
Story of my life.
533
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,768
Everyone else is off
534
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,337
falling in love
and acting stupid and goofy
535
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,906
and sweet and insane,
but not me.
536
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,241
Why don't I
537
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,742
want that more?
538
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,344
I want to want that.
539
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,713
Am I wired wrong or something?
540
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:14,747
No.
541
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,783
Look, you didn't want to be
with me,
542
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,151
so, clearly,
you have abysmal taste in men.
543
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,920
(laughs)
544
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,022
But you're wired just fine.
545
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,658
Well, what if I'm just a...
546
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,227
a cold person?
547
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,430
Tonight Mike was willing to look
548
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,833
like a complete idiot for me,
but I couldn't be Gretel.
549
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:36,503
Why can't I be Gretel?
550
00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,671
Because you just haven't met
the right Hansel yet.
551
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:41,007
Hey, one day, you're
gonna meet a guy
552
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,276
who's gonna make you want to
look like a complete idiot.
553
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,577
Really?
554
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,346
Yeah. He's out there somewhere.
555
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:49,716
Just like the Slutty Pumpkin...
pumpkin, pumpkin...
556
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:53,085
How do you do this, Ted?
557
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,421
How do you
558
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:57,023
sit out here all night
on the roof in the cold,
559
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,826
and still have faith
your pumpkin's gonna show up?
560
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,929
Well, I'm pretty drunk.
561
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,063
(laughs)
562
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,633
Look, I know that odds are
563
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,336
the love of my life isn't gonna
magically walk through that door
564
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:13,406
in a pumpkin costume
at 2:43 in the morning, but...
565
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,275
this seems as nice a spot
as any to just,
566
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:20,347
you know, sit and wait.
567
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,620
(soft groan)
568
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:37,530
* I want to know what it's like
on the inside of love... *
38261
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