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1
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Previously on Shining Vale...
2
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When your mom and I saw it,
we fell in love with it.
3
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,445
It's 100 miles away from
all the crazy in the city.
4
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,447
How many fucking possessed
women do you get in here?
5
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,615
Rosemary, get the fuck out of my house.
6
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,892
This is for you, Patricia.
7
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The neighbor killed
herself on our fence.
8
00:00:35,995 --> 00:00:37,371
I want to throw a party.
9
00:00:37,396 --> 00:00:38,981
We can invite all of our new friends.
10
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,100
- I'm Claire Vanderbilt.
- This is Laird.
11
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:44,128
I'm so sorry I peed your floor.
Please have me back.
12
00:00:44,153 --> 00:00:46,397
You are the worst therapist ever!
13
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Gaynor, tell them I'm not crazy!
14
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The electric shock treatment.
15
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,721
You zapped Rosemary right out of me.
16
00:00:53,746 --> 00:00:55,831
Jake and I don't need you
and Dad doesn't remember you.
17
00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:58,350
I don't play VR anymore.
18
00:00:58,375 --> 00:00:59,577
You still scared of that girl?
19
00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:01,145
What game? I'm Daisy.
20
00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,522
I'm gonna be the best wife and mother.
21
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That's what you'll talk about
on the book tour.
22
00:01:05,394 --> 00:01:06,895
What, you already published it?
23
00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:09,737
How do I know you're
not gonna go batshit again?
24
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:13,574
Because I am in control.
25
00:01:13,599 --> 00:01:15,017
I am in...
26
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:19,121
Hello, dear. So good to see you.
27
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,679
Fuck.
28
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,337
Oh, my God.
29
00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,255
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
30
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,590
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
31
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,387
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
32
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:39,073
Gaynor, can I talk to you
just for a sec?
33
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:40,559
What's the matter... why are you
breathing like Roxy?
34
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,686
Because I need to go to...
35
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,246
Need to go where, Pat?
36
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Get ice cream.
37
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- Yes!
- Road trip!
38
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Let's do it.
39
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:53,405
- Hi. I have a return.
- It's not a return.
40
00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:55,265
I just need a quick
outpatient shock treatment.
41
00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:56,841
Uh, sorry. We don't do that.
42
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:59,036
Gaynor, why don't you go
find your dad and brother?
43
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,955
Mommy's gonna talk to the nurse
for just a second.
44
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,792
Mm, maybe Mommy could've driven
herself to the mental hospital.
45
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,335
Listen, I don't think you understand.
46
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:09,213
I'm in a serious crisis.
I just need a quick zap.
47
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,048
- I'll be out of your hair.
- That's not how it works.
48
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:13,884
- Do you know who I am?
- Yes. You're Patricia Phelps.
49
00:02:14,193 --> 00:02:16,362
Your insurance ran out
and you're no longer a patient here.
50
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,597
What, am I not
crazy enough for you, huh?
51
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,432
What do you want me to do, huh?
Do you want me to...
52
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,227
You want me to take a shit on the floor?
53
00:02:23,252 --> 00:02:25,287
The state no longer
considers that insane,
54
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,605
but go for it.
55
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,903
I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy!
56
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,154
I'm not!
57
00:02:34,179 --> 00:02:35,274
I am.
58
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,740
Dad, I'm scared.
59
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,075
She's gonna be fine.
60
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:40,578
No, I mean, the ice cream place
closes at 9:00.
61
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,996
We're not gonna make it.
62
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,332
Shh, let's not miss out
on this chance to bond.
63
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,502
What kind of dad was I? Hmm?
64
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,629
Honestly, Dad,
65
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,423
right now, I'm just
66
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,341
trying not to rip
this chair out of the floor
67
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,759
and throw it through that window.
68
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,219
I'm gonna walk around.
69
00:03:05,628 --> 00:03:06,829
Hi.
70
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,817
Okay.
71
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:34,089
Let's go. Total bust.
72
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,216
Apparently, I'm not crazy
enough for this place anymore.
73
00:03:36,241 --> 00:03:37,985
I hope you're crazy
enough to drive full speed
74
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,637
into the mall, because in one minute,
75
00:03:39,662 --> 00:03:41,155
the ice cream store closes.
76
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:43,390
Fuck. We're not getting ice cream.
We have ice cream at home.
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00:03:43,415 --> 00:03:45,375
It's not the same and you know it!
78
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:08,999
Gaynor, let's go.
79
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,920
I don't know why I get excited
about anything.
80
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:16,089
- Almost. It's Phelps.
- We are Phelps.
81
00:04:16,114 --> 00:04:19,536
We are Phelps. We are Phelps.
82
00:04:19,561 --> 00:04:20,861
They're amazing.
83
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,846
I hate this place.
84
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,473
We are Phelps.
85
00:04:30,609 --> 00:04:34,609
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
86
00:04:39,697 --> 00:04:42,324
Jake, I'm tired of
washing your sheets every day.
87
00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,259
Either do your own laundry
or put a sock on it.
88
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,869
I am a growing boy.
89
00:04:45,894 --> 00:04:47,304
Yeah, well, grow into a tissue.
90
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,123
Hey, Jake, help me out here.
91
00:04:49,148 --> 00:04:51,359
I'm trying to read your mom's book.
92
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,460
Ever since the accident,
I still have problems
93
00:04:53,485 --> 00:04:56,655
with abstract word fractions
like... look at this.
94
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,440
I'm not allowed to read that.
95
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,634
Well, your dad says you can.
96
00:05:00,659 --> 00:05:03,453
"The mailman obli-ged..."
97
00:05:03,478 --> 00:05:06,198
That's obliged. The G is like a J.
98
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,183
Okay. All right. There you go.
99
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:12,229
"The mailmen obliged
and fin-jer ban-jed..."
100
00:05:12,254 --> 00:05:15,923
Okay, um, that's fingerbanged.
101
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:17,626
- Say it again.
- Fingerbanged.
102
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,294
- Say it again.
- Fingerbanged.
103
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,546
- I hate this.
- Well, no.
104
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:23,574
We're father-son bonding.
"He fingerbanged her tig-hit snatch."
105
00:05:23,599 --> 00:05:24,717
Okay, I'm leaving.
106
00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:27,077
Hey, sorry I overslept.
107
00:05:27,102 --> 00:05:28,429
Did I miss breakfast?
108
00:05:28,454 --> 00:05:29,705
Twice. It's Thursday.
109
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:32,916
I slept for two days
and no one checked on me?
110
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,727
I'm sorry, I was a little busy
taking care
111
00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:36,086
of your newborn husband and your son
112
00:05:36,111 --> 00:05:37,938
who's turning his laundry
into sheetrock.
113
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:39,923
Hey, being a mascot is stressful.
114
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,984
You try walking a mile
in my fuzzy shoes.
115
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,635
I'm sorry, honey,
I wanted to check on you,
116
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:45,287
but I'm still having a problem
with the stairs,
117
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:47,406
and the electric chair wasn't working.
118
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:48,682
The electric chair?
119
00:05:48,707 --> 00:05:52,077
The chair that helps you get
up and down the back steps.
120
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,103
Back steps?
121
00:05:53,128 --> 00:05:56,398
Jesus Christ, we have an electric chair
that gets old people upstairs.
122
00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,069
- Gaynor.
- Yeah?
123
00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:01,261
- You don't have to do this.
- No, I can do it.
124
00:06:01,286 --> 00:06:02,463
It's not your job. I'll take it.
125
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:03,565
No, I can do it. No, leave it.
126
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:04,716
Come on. Give it to me.
127
00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:06,283
- Give it to me.
- Leave it.
128
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:07,743
Oh, my God, what is wrong with you?
129
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:12,498
You happy? You broke Jake's pillowcase.
130
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:16,877
Jake, you've got to be careful
with your VR headset.
131
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,922
I didn't put that there.
I don't play with that anymore.
132
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,632
All right, will everybody relax?
133
00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:23,984
I'm sorry, we all don't have the luxury
of sleeping for two days.
134
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,177
No one woke me up.
135
00:06:25,202 --> 00:06:26,662
I'm not your alarm clock, Mom.
136
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,197
Okay, you know, I'm your mother.
137
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,348
- Hey.
- I respect your stuff.
138
00:06:29,373 --> 00:06:30,791
Hey!
139
00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:36,605
As the leader of this family,
I've made a decision.
140
00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:38,232
We need professional help.
141
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:40,651
I'm gonna get us to the best
doctor we can afford.
142
00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:43,529
I have to admit, I'm a bit surprised
143
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:44,988
to hear from you, Terry.
144
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,407
You were in my phone under
"cheap therapist."
145
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,243
Terry fell down the stairs and suffered
146
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,371
a traumatic brain injury
and lost his memory.
147
00:06:52,396 --> 00:06:53,806
Ah, I see.
148
00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:55,207
Yeah, and then this one went batshit,
149
00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:56,917
leaving me to clean up their mess.
150
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,377
That's our story.
151
00:06:58,402 --> 00:07:01,939
Actually, the epilogue is,
I'm home and I am healthy.
152
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,732
And the sequel is,
I had to drive her back
153
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,275
to the mental hospital two days ago.
154
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,928
And the reboot is, I was
too healthy to be let back in.
155
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,556
Guys, please. He's a professional.
156
00:07:10,581 --> 00:07:12,208
We paid a lot of money to hear from him.
157
00:07:12,233 --> 00:07:13,693
Please, Doctor.
158
00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:15,602
Thank you, Terry.
159
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,772
You've all been through
a lifetime's worth of trauma.
160
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:22,151
Healing as a family requires
a lot of individual work
161
00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:23,460
- and patience.
- Screw that.
162
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,195
Listen, something's happened
to my memory,
163
00:07:25,220 --> 00:07:27,339
and I need it back now.
164
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,032
- That's not an ashtray.
- I don't mind.
165
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:33,036
Something disturbing
happened in my past.
166
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,789
I feel like it's right here...
167
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,041
and I can't get to it.
168
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,626
What about art therapy?
169
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:43,714
Painting allows people with
physical and verbal challenges
170
00:07:43,739 --> 00:07:47,075
access to thoughts, emotions, and fears
171
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,436
they can't otherwise express.
172
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,138
I've had quite a bit of success at it.
173
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,221
I'm sorry. Can we go?
174
00:07:58,246 --> 00:08:00,122
I'm the only one in this family
with a job,
175
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,398
and I can't afford to get fired.
176
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:03,150
No one asked you to quit school.
177
00:08:03,175 --> 00:08:04,885
Well, I have to take care
of this family.
178
00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:08,163
That's a big job for a girl.
Or even a boy.
179
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:12,384
You have to find a way
to resolve that stress,
180
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:15,412
or it can lead to long-term
psychological damage.
181
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:18,957
Your mother is a fine example
of trauma run amok.
182
00:08:18,982 --> 00:08:21,226
Ah, thanks for those genes, Mom.
183
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,545
Okay, well, I also gave you
my thigh gap, so...
184
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,940
Obviously there's some
mother-daughter issues at play.
185
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,508
No, I don't have any issues.
186
00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:31,203
I just want to go back to being
a loving wife and mother.
187
00:08:31,228 --> 00:08:34,656
Why don't you try something
you're good at instead?
188
00:08:34,697 --> 00:08:35,765
Good one.
189
00:08:35,790 --> 00:08:38,243
Button, let's be respectful
to our mother.
190
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,602
She's an amazing woman.
191
00:08:39,627 --> 00:08:41,580
Everybody in this family needs a break.
192
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:44,066
Reward yourself
with something you enjoy.
193
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,584
You-you're a writer. Do that.
194
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,486
No writer enjoys writing.
195
00:08:47,653 --> 00:08:50,489
Besides, my book is finished.
196
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:53,450
I guess I could promote it, but...
197
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,161
I really want to focus on this family.
198
00:08:56,186 --> 00:08:57,346
Anyone here in favor of that?
199
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,705
- Fuck no.
- No thanks.
200
00:08:58,730 --> 00:09:00,482
- I'll call Kam on the way home.
- Outstanding.
201
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,704
What about you, my furry friend?
202
00:09:02,729 --> 00:09:04,962
Sometimes the youngest in the family
gets lost in the shuffle.
203
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:08,924
Now is your time to be seen and heard.
204
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:14,096
Last year, there was this...
205
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:17,391
girl in my VR headset, and...
206
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,144
she was, like, trying to get me
to do something...
207
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,438
Well, get used to that.
208
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,733
Ah, that's our time, Phelps.
209
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,068
He's good.
210
00:09:38,353 --> 00:09:39,471
Hello, dear.
211
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,331
Get the fuck out of my house.
212
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,209
Honey, are you okay?
213
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:46,670
Yeah. Why do you ask?
214
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,339
You're screaming at our neighbor.
215
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,633
- Hi.
- Hi, Ter.
216
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,096
You see her?
217
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,264
Yeah.
218
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,351
I let her in. Pat, this is Ruth.
219
00:10:01,376 --> 00:10:02,577
Levin.
220
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,813
I- I just bought the house next door.
221
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,774
Apparently, the former owner,
she committed suicide.
222
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,443
What are you gonna do?
223
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,361
Oh, that's for me.
224
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,530
Guy named Lard called.
225
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:16,116
Said he's my best friend. I don't know.
226
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,032
Ter-bear, think fast.
227
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,038
I just don't have it yet. I...
228
00:10:21,063 --> 00:10:22,857
No, no. You're-you're getting better.
229
00:10:22,882 --> 00:10:24,634
No, I'm not.
230
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,213
What are you doing here?
231
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:32,774
Well, like I said, I'm just, you know,
232
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,052
doing a little juicing
for Terry and the kids.
233
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:38,013
I'm just trying to help out
a little bit around here.
234
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,473
Are you okay?
235
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:47,981
You're real.
236
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,110
You're real too.
237
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,237
I used to know someone
who looked just like you.
238
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,489
Isn't that funny?
239
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,450
I- I was thinking
you look so familiar too.
240
00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,576
Are you from Brooklyn?
241
00:10:59,601 --> 00:11:01,144
Everyone in Connecticut
is from Brooklyn.
242
00:11:01,169 --> 00:11:03,889
Okay, so did you walk your dog
in Prospect Park?
243
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:04,998
No.
244
00:11:05,023 --> 00:11:06,391
Did you possess me in my attic?
245
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,834
No.
246
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,544
Hold on. We'll get it.
247
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,064
All right, so it couldn't be
Rizzo's Butcher
248
00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:15,008
because I was a vegetarian back then.
249
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,594
So we never met there.
250
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,388
And it's not Murray's Cheese
251
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,140
because I was lactose intolerant.
252
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,017
Oh, June Cleaver.
253
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,435
- What?
- Ah.
254
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:28,647
You were in a prenatal yoga class
255
00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:30,524
about 17 years ago.
256
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,859
- Cobble Hill Kundalini.
- Yeah.
257
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,861
- Yes.
- I only went twice.
258
00:11:34,886 --> 00:11:36,304
I went on the regular.
259
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,757
I mean, in fact,
I did absolutely everything
260
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,033
Dr. Spock recommended,
261
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,327
which really bugged the crap out of you.
262
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:46,790
I remember one day, I said
that having a baby
263
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,668
was what my whole life
was leading up to.
264
00:11:49,693 --> 00:11:51,269
And then you called me June Cleaver
265
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,755
and everyone laughed, except me.
266
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:56,733
- I found it hurtful.
- Oh, my God.
267
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:59,428
Last year, I was
268
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:03,014
tormented by this imaginary
'50s housewife.
269
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:05,142
You must've made
a real impression on me,
270
00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:07,252
because she had your face.
271
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,646
Oh, I don't know what to do with that.
272
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,731
Nothing.
273
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:15,402
I just met the face
of my mental illness.
274
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,613
Ah. Well, do me a favor, dear.
275
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,908
Will you hand
your mental illness that knife?
276
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,744
Oh, yeah.
277
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,496
- Thank you.
- Wow.
278
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,333
So if you were in that yoga class,
279
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,419
you must have a kid Gaynor's age.
280
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,588
It is the worst, right?
281
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:37,424
Well, my Leo's an angel.
282
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:40,927
Oh, well, you're lucky.
My Gaynor is... she hates me.
283
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,472
I mean, my Leo's an angel.
284
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,765
- He was stillborn.
- Oh.
285
00:12:49,007 --> 00:12:50,884
What are you gonna do?
286
00:12:50,909 --> 00:12:52,786
Oh, God.
287
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:56,026
So I based Rosemary
on this woman I used to know.
288
00:12:56,051 --> 00:12:57,469
Well, can she sue?
289
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,112
- I don't think so.
- Then who gives a fuck?
290
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,947
Okay, I think we're done.
291
00:13:00,972 --> 00:13:02,090
Thank you.
292
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,116
How do I look?
293
00:13:03,141 --> 00:13:04,809
You look great.
294
00:13:05,016 --> 00:13:06,025
She looks like the Joker.
295
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,501
I've done everything I can.
296
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,290
I know I'm sweating.
297
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,542
I just think I'm nervous
to talk about the book.
298
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,211
You know what, honey?
I say, let's just call it.
299
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,545
Let's get out of here.
300
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,881
They can go long with
the snake therapy segment.
301
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,008
No, I have to do something productive.
302
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,426
- I need to mic you.
- Okay.
303
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:23,011
Okay, well, you never get
a second chance
304
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,946
to make a first impression,
so let's stick to the story.
305
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,640
No ghosts. No demons.
306
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,974
You had a mental breakdown
307
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,392
while you were writing your book,
308
00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:30,535
and now you're recovered.
309
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,728
That is the story.
310
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,313
Yup. Just like that.
311
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,361
Jesus fucking Christ.
312
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,154
And then my catalytic converter...
313
00:13:41,179 --> 00:13:43,006
do you know what that is...
got stolen, so that was
314
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,492
kind of sucky, but... oh, also...
315
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:48,245
Terry, I have a girlfriend now.
316
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:49,663
Oh.
317
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:53,542
Yeah, we met at your party.
Oh, Claire's a writer.
318
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:56,002
Wicked smart. What else?
319
00:13:56,027 --> 00:13:59,531
Um, well, she's in a coma.
Do you remember Claire?
320
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,008
No. Honestly, I don't remember you.
321
00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:03,735
Oh, come on.
322
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,346
Sure you do. Terry, I'm you best friend.
323
00:14:06,371 --> 00:14:07,581
Right.
324
00:14:07,606 --> 00:14:10,450
I peed on your floor
before the ambulance came.
325
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,851
Stupid.
326
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,687
Now, I-I do remember an ambulance.
327
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,524
And I remember lying on the floor.
328
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:18,817
Oh.
329
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:21,069
Yeah. There's lots of colors.
330
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,304
Uh-huh. Coming back to me.
331
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:25,781
And there was yelling.
332
00:14:25,806 --> 00:14:29,310
It was loud and scary and...
333
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,705
and...
334
00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:32,799
And?
335
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:37,294
And... and-and...
336
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,631
Just fucking say it, Terry!
337
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,383
No. I forgot it.
338
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,427
That happens.
339
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,429
Anyway, I'm about done here
with the painting
340
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,531
if you want to take a peek.
341
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,640
Wow.
342
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:54,603
I wish Claire's brain was alive
to see this.
343
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,564
I'm gonna go and rub
ice chips on her lips.
344
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,608
- See ya, buddy.
- All right.
345
00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:02,682
I'm gonna figure out
what happened to me.
346
00:15:02,707 --> 00:15:06,323
We're here with soft porn
publishing phenom Pat Phelps.
347
00:15:06,348 --> 00:15:07,799
Try saying that three times fast.
348
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,243
So great to have you on the show, Pat.
349
00:15:10,268 --> 00:15:12,846
Ah, thanks, Lacy. Is it hot in here?
350
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:16,791
Not for me, but I'm younger.
351
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:20,462
Let's talk about your new book,
Rosemary's Revenge.
352
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:24,507
It's kind of a slashy thriller
with a retro '50s vibe.
353
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,344
Well, actually it's about
mental illness and recovery.
354
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,262
Well, you haven't really recovered.
355
00:15:29,287 --> 00:15:32,082
Have you, you crazy bitch?
356
00:15:32,107 --> 00:15:34,284
Yes, I have, and that's not nice.
357
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:35,685
Oh, well, what about Terry?
358
00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:38,204
Does he know about
the choppy choppy choppy?
359
00:15:39,714 --> 00:15:41,056
Um, can we talk about something else?
360
00:15:41,081 --> 00:15:43,026
Of course. What's gonna happen
361
00:15:43,051 --> 00:15:45,303
now that Rosemary lives next door?
362
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,030
No, her name is Ruth.
363
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:49,449
That's exactly what a demon would say.
364
00:15:49,474 --> 00:15:51,226
I think I'm done here.
365
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:54,295
Ooh.
366
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,348
Get me the fuck out of here!
367
00:16:00,485 --> 00:16:01,619
Help!
368
00:16:01,644 --> 00:16:03,963
I'm sorry, Pat.
This isn't the loony bin.
369
00:16:03,988 --> 00:16:05,982
You're not getting out of here early.
370
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,426
Get me the fuck out of here!
371
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,223
Oh, my God.
372
00:16:13,248 --> 00:16:16,834
Wow. Thank you, Pat Phelps.
373
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,897
We're gonna cut to commercial
and, uh, call our legal team.
374
00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:24,150
Up next, 16 more minutes
of snake therapy
375
00:16:24,175 --> 00:16:25,760
than we originally planned.
376
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,320
I'm sorry.
377
00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:28,672
Yeah, I'm okay.
378
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,989
Cut.
379
00:16:30,014 --> 00:16:31,056
What the hell happened?
380
00:16:31,081 --> 00:16:32,801
I don't know. I fell asleep.
381
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,052
I'm not ready for this.
382
00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:36,996
Trish, look at me. You're fine, okay?
383
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:38,665
You fucked up on
Good Morning, Shining Vale.
384
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,040
I mean, maybe four people saw it.
385
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,445
What the hell?
386
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:21,540
♪ You and no one Else will do ♪
387
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:24,085
♪ And I ♪
388
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:29,549
♪ I've got to have My way now, baby ♪
389
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,050
♪ All I know is that to me ♪
390
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,011
♪ You look like You're having fun ♪
391
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,138
♪ Open up your loving arms ♪
392
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,265
♪ Watch out, here I come ♪
393
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:40,894
♪ You spin me right 'round
Baby, right 'round ♪
394
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:44,773
♪ Like a record, baby
Right 'round, 'round, 'round ♪
395
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:48,276
♪ You spin me right 'round
Baby, right 'round ♪
396
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:51,905
♪ Like a record, baby
Right 'round, 'round, 'round ♪
397
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,154
Gaynor.
398
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:34,322
Get out!
399
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:35,784
Holy fuck.
400
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,327
Hey, Ruth.
401
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,595
Hey, Pat.
402
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,497
I'm just doing a little gardening.
403
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:45,959
The soil here is so fertile,
especially near the fence.
404
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,877
Don't you think it's a little weird
405
00:18:47,902 --> 00:18:50,104
that out of all the places
that you could move to,
406
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,815
it's right next door to someone
407
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,217
who used to bully you
almost 20 years ago?
408
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,636
And that you're the face
of my mental illness?
409
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,888
You know, Pat,
410
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,640
I've been through so much in my life,
411
00:19:00,665 --> 00:19:03,785
so I've stopped asking myself, "Why me,"
412
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,603
and I've started
asking myself, "Why me?"
413
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,564
I don't hear the difference.
414
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:08,982
Do you believe in signs?
415
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,900
No. Yes.
416
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:14,529
I don't... I'm neutral. Why?
417
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,282
A few months back,
418
00:19:17,307 --> 00:19:19,309
I was feeling really down, you know?
419
00:19:19,334 --> 00:19:22,795
I was tired of city life,
and all of a sudden...
420
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,290
one sec, I have it in here somewhere.
421
00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:28,585
What do I get in the mail?
Ah, here it is.
422
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:29,961
Look at that.
423
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,591
"Priced to sell." It means murder house.
424
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:35,925
I got one too.
425
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,511
Yeah, but maybe God put me here
426
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,680
so that we could try again.
427
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,473
This time as friends.
428
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:43,933
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
429
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,602
Are you okay? You're shvitzing.
430
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:48,730
I've been sweating a lot lately
and I'm just really tired.
431
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,315
Why am I telling you this?
432
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,233
Because I'm easy to talk to, Pat.
433
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,528
Look, when I was your age,
434
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:58,781
many years ago,
I went through the change.
435
00:19:58,806 --> 00:20:00,925
Many years ago? How old are you?
436
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:04,829
Well, a lady never tells,
but I had the hot flashes.
437
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:07,290
I had the bags under the eyes.
I had the dry coochie
438
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:11,878
until I discovered a miracle.
439
00:20:11,903 --> 00:20:13,654
Weed?
440
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,132
- I can't. No.
- No, no.
441
00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,968
This is herbal tea. It's au naturel.
442
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,262
It comes from the herbs in my garden.
443
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:24,140
Hand to God, if you drink this,
444
00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:26,225
you are gonna feel 25 again.
445
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,311
You are gonna be moist
in all the right places.
446
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,443
No, I can't.
447
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,820
No offense, but it's your face.
448
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,198
And you just said "moist" to a stranger.
449
00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:42,158
But we're not strangers, Pat.
450
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:44,243
We're neighbors.
451
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:45,870
You'll be back.
452
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,000
Hey.
453
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:54,170
Look, I found your ancient iPod
recorder in the pool table.
454
00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:57,006
It's called a Walkman,
and it's not mine.
455
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,383
And it doesn't work.
456
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,259
Try pressing the power button.
457
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,845
I played it before.
It was pretty fucking creepy.
458
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,598
These batteries expired in 1985.
459
00:21:05,623 --> 00:21:06,991
That was 20 years ago.
460
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,513
It was almost 40 years ago.
461
00:21:08,538 --> 00:21:09,998
No, it's not. It's...
462
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:12,730
Okay, what do you think you heard?
463
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,315
I don't know, It was the kind of music
464
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:16,359
in the movies you and Dad
used to think were hilarious
465
00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:19,654
and now suck and then
someone screamed, "Get out."
466
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,115
You know I used to hear things.
467
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,325
No, this was different. It was real.
468
00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:27,203
I thought it was real too.
469
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:28,997
If you want to talk about it...
470
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:30,748
No, I'm just...
471
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:32,500
I'm fucking with you.
472
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,086
Didn't they have jokes
in the mental home?
473
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:44,804
What the hell?
474
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:00,903
Are you kidding me?
475
00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:21,758
Come on, Terry.
476
00:22:21,883 --> 00:22:23,676
Put it together.
477
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:24,969
What happened?
478
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:29,307
What are you missing?
479
00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:31,142
It's gotta be here.
480
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,797
Terry! Terry!
481
00:23:00,822 --> 00:23:02,651
Patty!
482
00:23:02,676 --> 00:23:04,127
Terry!
483
00:23:04,152 --> 00:23:05,320
Patty!
484
00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:08,805
Hang on.
485
00:23:08,830 --> 00:23:09,901
Terry!
486
00:23:09,926 --> 00:23:11,261
I'm coming.
487
00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:20,208
Terry!
488
00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:21,484
I'm about halfway.
489
00:23:22,618 --> 00:23:23,786
Ah, shit.
490
00:23:38,376 --> 00:23:39,585
Patty!
491
00:23:43,714 --> 00:23:45,299
Patty?
492
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,509
Yeah?
493
00:23:46,676 --> 00:23:48,219
I came as fast as I could. Are you okay?
494
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:49,512
Yeah, why?
495
00:23:49,679 --> 00:23:51,389
You were screaming.
496
00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:54,183
Oh, I had a nightmare,
but that was a while ago.
497
00:23:56,352 --> 00:24:00,565
Yeah, I mean, I-I gotta get that
chair motor fixed or something
498
00:24:00,731 --> 00:24:02,692
'cause it's getting a little...
499
00:24:02,859 --> 00:24:04,443
- Whoa.
- Oh, my God.
500
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:06,696
No, no, no, it's-it's good. It's fine.
501
00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:08,781
It's-it's better than fine. Nice job.
502
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:11,242
No, it just feels really weird
503
00:24:11,409 --> 00:24:13,452
for you to see me naked
for the first time.
504
00:24:13,578 --> 00:24:15,538
It's not the first time.
We have two grown children.
505
00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:18,374
Yeah, but you were used to it.
506
00:24:18,541 --> 00:24:19,959
It's like if you grow up in Cleveland,
507
00:24:20,084 --> 00:24:22,128
you think, "Oh, isn't that
a beautiful city?"
508
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:23,796
But if you see it for the first time,
509
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:25,381
you're like, "Ew, is that
a river on fire?"
510
00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:27,383
Well, maybe Terry likes
downtown Cleveland.
511
00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:29,552
Maybe we stop calling me Cleveland.
512
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:32,889
I'm sorry, Terry.
It's just... it's not happening.
513
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:34,807
Well...
514
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:37,727
I don't understand.
Did we not love each other?
515
00:24:37,894 --> 00:24:40,354
Oh, we did. We do.
516
00:24:40,521 --> 00:24:41,814
We will.
517
00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:44,483
I just got out of the hospital
and I don't feel sexy.
518
00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:45,943
I'm not there yet.
519
00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:47,737
Maybe I should kiss you.
520
00:24:50,615 --> 00:24:52,158
Yeah, okay.
521
00:24:57,788 --> 00:25:00,041
Get that...
522
00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:09,675
- See what I mean?
- Well, give it a second.
523
00:25:12,595 --> 00:25:14,347
Ah, there's nothing.
524
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:18,768
Not with you.
Not with these goddamn stairs.
525
00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:20,853
I'm gonna go paint.
526
00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:24,273
Try and figure out why all
my pictures have axes in them.
527
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,026
- What? They do?
- Yes, Pat.
528
00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:29,320
Apparently, I have an axe
stuck in my head.
529
00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:31,656
Terry, wait.
530
00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:32,949
Let's do it.
531
00:25:32,974 --> 00:25:34,091
- Really?
- Yeah.
532
00:25:34,116 --> 00:25:35,201
- Hit the lights.
- Okay.
533
00:25:35,226 --> 00:25:36,519
And get the night-light.
534
00:25:36,544 --> 00:25:38,763
Oh, maybe we should wait
535
00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:40,122
till the moon goes behind that cloud.
536
00:25:40,147 --> 00:25:43,651
Ah, yeah. Ooh, it's gonna be a minute.
537
00:25:43,676 --> 00:25:46,217
- Won't be able to see anything.
- Exactly.
538
00:25:46,242 --> 00:25:48,439
And while you're up,
will you hand me my purse?
539
00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:50,216
I think my mom put some lube in there.
540
00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:54,303
I...
541
00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:55,488
Wait. Where are you going?
542
00:25:55,513 --> 00:25:56,806
I'm going to paint.
543
00:25:56,973 --> 00:25:58,975
I-I don't want to have deep space sex
544
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:01,185
with your mom's lube.
545
00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:03,896
I'm sorry. I promise I'll get there.
546
00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:07,566
Dammit.
547
00:26:17,368 --> 00:26:18,744
Ugh, screw it.
548
00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:22,248
Hello, dear. Here it is.
549
00:26:22,273 --> 00:26:24,150
Now, it's very important
you only take one cup...
550
00:26:24,175 --> 00:26:25,537
- Just give me the tea. Thanks.
- Oh,
551
00:26:25,562 --> 00:26:26,811
- Yeah, I need it.
- You don't need... oh.
552
00:26:26,836 --> 00:26:28,254
- Oh. Oh.
- Thanks. All right. Bye.
553
00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:45,229
Hello, Cleveland.
554
00:26:51,485 --> 00:26:52,987
Oh, this is pointless.
555
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:25,353
"She co-hopped her family
556
00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:27,480
up with an axe."
557
00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:30,691
Holy fuck.
558
00:27:34,195 --> 00:27:35,821
Jake.
559
00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:37,198
What do you want from me?
560
00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:46,707
Hello, Jake.
561
00:27:48,793 --> 00:27:50,419
Come and play with me.
562
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:52,338
I don't like this game.
563
00:27:52,463 --> 00:27:54,590
It's not the same game.
564
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:36,215
What the fuck?
565
00:28:37,992 --> 00:28:39,235
Crazy bitch.
566
00:28:51,355 --> 00:28:52,565
Oh, my God.
567
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,575
Hey, Lacy.
568
00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:04,702
- Hi. It's me, Pat.
- Hi.
569
00:29:04,827 --> 00:29:06,829
Hey. I was just on your show.
570
00:29:06,954 --> 00:29:08,414
Are you serious?
571
00:29:08,539 --> 00:29:10,624
There's nothing to be afraid of.
572
00:29:10,791 --> 00:29:11,834
Okay.
573
00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,629
Hey, I think I know who Rosemary is!
574
00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:16,922
What?
575
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:22,219
Shit.
576
00:29:25,389 --> 00:29:27,099
What are you gonna do?
577
00:29:30,053 --> 00:29:34,053
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40898
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