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1
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,922
- Hey.
Hey.
2
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,173
So how was Joan?
3
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,341
Broke up with her.
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:10,884
Oh, why?
5
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,887
Don't tell me.
Because of the big nostril thing?
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,807
They were huge.
7
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,060
When she sneezed,
bats flew out of them.
8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,855
Come on, they were not that huge.
9
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:26,358
I'm telling you, she leaned back,
I could see her brain.
10
00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,070
How many women will you reject...
11
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,573
...over the most superficial,
insignificant things?
12
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,492
Hold it. Hold it. I gotta side
with Chandler on this one.
13
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,328
When I first moved to the city,
I went out with this girl.
14
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,956
Really hot. Great kisser...
15
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,334
...but she had the biggest
Adam's apple.
16
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:46,587
Drove me nuts.
17
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,799
- You or me?
- I got it.
18
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:53,594
Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.
19
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:03,520
Heh, heh.
You guys are messing with me, right?
20
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,274
Yeah. We are.
21
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:12,071
That's a good one.
For a second there, I was like, whoa!
22
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:05,249
So you name one woman that you broke up
with for an actual real reason.
23
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:07,417
Maureen Rasillo.
24
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,337
Because she doesn't hate Yanni
is not a real reason.
25
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,386
Hello, Mr. Heckles.
26
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,596
You're doing it again.
27
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,306
We're not doing anything.
28
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,434
You're stomping.
It's disturbing my birds.
29
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,856
You don't have birds.
30
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,316
I could have birds.
31
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,194
Okay, we'll try to keep it down.
32
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:35,737
Thank you.
33
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,448
I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
34
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,160
All right, bye-bye.
35
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:43,704
Okay, Janice.
36
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,832
You gotta give me Janice.
That wasn't about being picky.
37
00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:48,208
We'll give you Janice.
38
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,335
I miss Janice, though.
39
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,671
Hello, Chandler Bing!
40
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,594
Oh, my God!
41
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,429
Oh, Chandler!
42
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,723
Now! Now!
43
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,185
That's it.
44
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,729
There! Faster!
45
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:20,365
Ugh. Stop with the broom!
We're not making noise!
46
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,585
We won.
47
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,879
- We won! Whoo!
- Whoo!
48
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,091
Mr. Heckles.
49
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,806
- How did this happen?
- He was sweeping.
50
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,267
They found a broom in his hand.
51
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,395
Oh.
Oh, dear God.
52
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,064
- That's terrible.
- I know.
53
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,483
I was sweeping yesterday.
54
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,236
- It could've been me.
Yeah.
55
00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:00,197
Sure.
- Sweeping. You never know.
56
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:01,573
Never know.
57
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:09,998
Okay, it's very faint, but I can
still sense him in the building.
58
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,543
Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
59
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,340
Okay, Phoebe.
60
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,301
I'm sorry,
but sometimes they need help.
61
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,596
Yeah.
- Here we go.
62
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:27,307
That's fine, go ahead and scoff.
63
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:30,018
There are a lot of things
I don't believe in...
64
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,354
...but that doesn't mean
they're not true.
65
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,772
Such as?
66
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:38,652
Like crop circles or
the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.
67
00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,612
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
68
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,825
What, you don't believe in evolution?
69
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,285
No. Not really.
70
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,455
You don't believe in evolution?
71
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,083
I don't know.
It's just, you know...
72
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:58,088
Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story.
I just think it's a little too easy.
73
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:04,303
"Too easy"? Too...
74
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,931
The process of every living thing
on this planet evolving...
75
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:12,436
...over millions of years from
single-celled organisms is "too easy"?
76
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,272
Yeah, I just don't buy it.
77
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:20,402
Excuse me. Evolution is not
for you to buy, Phoebe.
78
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:24,448
Evolution is scientific fact,
like the air we breathe...
79
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,241
...like gravity.
80
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,744
Okay, don't get me started on gravity.
81
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,751
You, uh... You don't believe in gravity?
82
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:41,173
Well, it's not so much that,
you know, I don't believe in it.
83
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,300
Lately I get the feeling that...
84
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,720
...I'm not so much being pulled down
as I am being pushed.
85
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,055
Pushed.
86
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,726
Uh-oh. It's Isaac Newton
and he's pissed.
87
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:59,107
There she is. And over there,
that's the other one.
88
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,610
This is Mr. Buddy Boyle,
Heckles' attorney.
89
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:02,861
He'd like to talk to you.
90
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,488
What can we do for you?
91
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,782
All right, kids, here's the deal.
92
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,076
According my client's will...
93
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:13,789
...he wants to leave
all his earthly possessions...
94
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,834
...to "the noisy girls
in the apartment above mine. "
95
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,504
What about his family?
96
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,173
- He didn't have any.
Whoa.
97
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,385
Okay, so let's talk money.
98
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,554
All right, there was none.
99
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,431
Now, let's talk signing.
100
00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:34,851
You be noisy girl number one.
You be noisy girl number two.
101
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,564
I can't believe that this whole time
we thought he hated us.
102
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:43,318
Isn't it amazing how much
you can touch someone's life...
103
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,529
...without even knowing it?
104
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,239
Would you look at this dump?
105
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,783
He hated us!
This was his final revenge!
106
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,285
Ever seen so much crap!
107
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:56,123
Actually, I think this apartment
sullies the good name of crap.
108
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,708
Check this out.
109
00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,254
Can I have this?
110
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,425
How can you not believe in evolution?
111
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,387
I don't know, just don't.
Look at this funky shirt!
112
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:14,057
Pheebs, I've studied evolution
my entire adult life.
113
00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:17,644
And I can tell you, we've collected fossils
from all over the world...
114
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,356
...that actually show the evolution
of different species.
115
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:24,359
I mean, you can literally see them...
116
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:28,113
...evolving through time.
117
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,283
Really? You can actually see it?
118
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:36,121
You bet! In the U.S.,
China, Africa, all over!
119
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,748
See, I didn't know that.
120
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,460
Well, there you go.
121
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,086
Huh.
122
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:48,175
So now the real question is,
who put those fossils there and why?
123
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:55,640
Hey. Look at this.
My Big Book of Grievances.
124
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,811
Hey, there's me.
125
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,356
"April 17th, excessive noise...
126
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:07,027
...Italian guy comes home with a date. "
Yeah.
127
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,612
Chandler, you're in here too.
128
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,531
"April 18th, excessive noise...
129
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:15,452
...Italian guy's gay roommate
brings home dry cleaning. "
130
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:24,211
Well, that's excellent.
131
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,880
Monica, look at this lamp.
132
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,466
Is this tacky or what?
We have to have this.
133
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,886
I think we have enough regular lamps.
134
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:35,263
What? Come on, it's not like...
135
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,183
...I'm asking for this
girlie clock or anything.
136
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:41,311
Which, by the way,
I also think is really cool.
137
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:44,564
Look, it doesn't go
with any of my stuff.
138
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,484
Well, what about my stuff?
139
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,778
You don't have any stuff.
140
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,865
You still think of it
as your apartment, don't you?
141
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,617
Mmm... No.
142
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:56,952
Yes, you do.
143
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,497
You think of it as your apartment
and I just rent a room.
144
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,041
Mmm...
145
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:07,462
Okay, while you "mmm" on that,
I'll go find a place for my new lamp.
146
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,386
Okay, Pheebs. See how I'm making
these little toys move?
147
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,598
Opposable thumbs!
148
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:25,105
Without evolution, how do you
explain opposable thumbs?
149
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:29,943
Maybe the Overlords needed them
to steer their spacecrafts.
150
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,362
Tell me you're joking.
151
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:36,825
Look, can't we just say that you believe
in something and I don't?
152
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,786
- No. No, Pheebs, we can't.
- Why not?
153
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:43,415
What is this obsessive need you have
to make everybody agree with you?
154
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,710
No, what's that all about?
You know what I think?
155
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:52,215
I think maybe it's time
you put Ross under the microscope.
156
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,638
Is there blood coming out of my ears?
157
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,893
Check it out.
Heckles' high-school yearbook.
158
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:06,730
Wow. He looks so normal.
159
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,982
He's even kind of cute.
160
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,484
"Heckles, you crack me up
in science class.
161
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,737
You're the funniest kid in school. "
162
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,281
- Funniest? Heckles?
- That's what it says.
163
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,785
Wow. Heckles was voted class clown,
and so was I.
164
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,956
He was right.
Would you listen to that?
165
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,459
I'd call that excessive.
166
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,252
- Whoa.
- What?
167
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:32,422
Heckles played clarinet in band,
and I played clarinet.
168
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,217
And he was in the scale
modeler's club and I was...
169
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,554
Well, there was no club,
but I sure thought they were cool.
170
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,265
So? You were both dorks.
171
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:43,725
Big deal.
172
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,311
I just think it's weird, you know?
Heckles and me...
173
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,481
Heckles and me. Me...
174
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,024
Me and Heckles.
175
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,735
Hey, would you knock it off!
176
00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,115
Ah!
177
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,421
Have you been here all night?
178
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,465
Look at this.
179
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,009
Pictures of all the women
Heckles went out with.
180
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,930
Look what he wrote on them.
"Vivian, too tall. "
181
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,807
"Madge, big gums. "
182
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,059
"Too loud. "
183
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,395
"Too smart. "
"Makes noise when she eats. "
184
00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,271
This is me.
185
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,357
This is what I do.
186
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,486
I'm gonna end up alone,
just like he did.
187
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,363
Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
188
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,532
Our trains are on the same track.
189
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,285
I'm coming up 30 years behind him,
but the stops are all the same.
190
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,121
Bitter Town...
191
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,082
...Alone-ville, Hermit Junction!
192
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,044
You know what we gotta do?
Get you out of here.
193
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:54,963
Come on, I'll buy you breakfast.
194
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,049
What if I never find somebody?
Or worse, what if I found her...
195
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:02,178
...but I dumped her because
she pronounces it "supposably"?
196
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,849
Chandler, come on,
you're gonna find somebody.
197
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,059
How do you know that? How?
198
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,937
I don't know. I'm just
trying to help you out.
199
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,898
You guys will all get married...
200
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,525
...and I'll end up alone.
201
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,027
Will you promise me something?
202
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,573
When you're married, will you
invite me over for holidays?
203
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,700
I don't know what we'll be doing.
204
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,914
I mean, what if we're over
at her folks' place?
205
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,294
Yeah, I understand.
206
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,924
You can come over
and watch the Super Bowl.
207
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,051
Every year, all right?
208
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,598
You know what?
I'm not gonna end up like this.
209
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,683
I'll see you, man.
210
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,230
Jeez.
211
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,736
"Supposably. "
212
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,907
Supposably.
213
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,787
Did they go to the zoo?
214
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,206
Supposably.
215
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,095
Hi. It's me.
216
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:30,600
Oh, my God!
217
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,145
Janice? You called Janice?
218
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:36,981
Yes. Janice.
219
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,150
Why is that difficult to comprehend?
220
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,611
You remember Janice, right?
221
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:47,325
Yes. She was smart, she was pretty
and she honestly cared about me.
222
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,245
Janice is my last chance
to have somebody.
223
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,248
Hello.
224
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,379
Oh, my God!
225
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,174
Jeez, look how fat she got.
226
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,888
- Hey, it's everybody.
Hi, Janice.
227
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,306
Janice, you're...
228
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,559
Yes, I am.
229
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,186
- Is it...?
- Is it yours? Ha!
230
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,438
You wish, Chandler Bing.
231
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:22,110
You are looking at a married lady now.
232
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:23,486
Oh.
233
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,113
Yeah.
234
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,575
Congratulations.
235
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,119
Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry.
236
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,246
You couldn't tell me on the phone?
237
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,457
And what? Miss the expression
on your face? Oh, no.
238
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,419
Janice likes to have her fun.
239
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,850
You know what we haven't
played in a while?
240
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,519
- What?
- Hide the lamp.
241
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,231
Monica, let it go.
242
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,401
Did you know
I'm allergic to shellfish?
243
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:06,738
Then you'll just have
to eat the other lamps.
244
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,493
Uh-oh. It's scary scientist man.
245
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,873
Okay, Phoebe, this is it.
246
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:20,835
In this briefcase I carry
actual scientific facts.
247
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,796
A briefcase of facts, if you will.
248
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:31,012
Some of these fossils are
over 200 million years old.
249
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:34,474
Okay, look, before you even start,
I'm not denying evolution.
250
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,768
It's just one of the possibilities.
251
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,978
It's the only possibility.
252
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:44,108
Ross, could you just open
your mind, like, this much? Okay?
253
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:48,571
Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds
in the world believe the Earth was flat?
254
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:54,077
And up till 50 years ago, you all thought
the atom was the smallest thing...
255
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:58,039
...until you split it open
and this whole mess of crap came out.
256
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:04,545
Now, are you telling me that you are
so unbelievably arrogant...
257
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:08,591
...that you can't admit that
there's a teeny, tiny possibility...
258
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,843
...that you could be wrong about this?
259
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,519
There might be...
260
00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,647
...a teeny...
261
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,191
...tiny...
262
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,486
...possibility.
263
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,448
I can't believe you caved.
264
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,118
What?
265
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:38,705
You just abandoned
your whole belief system!
266
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,334
Before, I didn't agree with you,
but at least I respected you.
267
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,044
But...
268
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:47,714
How are you gonna go
into work tomorrow?
269
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,675
How are you going to face
the other science guys?
270
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,720
How are you going to face yourself?
Oh...
271
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,321
That was fun.
So who's hungry?
272
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:13,656
I am.
273
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,825
Me too.
Let me just get my coat.
274
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,585
What happened?
275
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:28,671
Okay.
All right, it was an accident, I swear.
276
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:32,842
I was putting on my jacket and
the thing and the lamp and it broke.
277
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,471
Oh, please, Monica!
You've always hated my lamp!
278
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:40,933
And now all of a sudden,
it's just magically, it's just broken?
279
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,393
Phoebe, tell her?
280
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,938
I didn't see it, because
I was putting on my jacket.
281
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,482
But I want to believe you.
282
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:55,865
Hey, Chandler. Monica just
broke my seashell lamp.
283
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:57,533
Neat.
284
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,619
I'm gonna die alone!
285
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,165
Okay, you win.
286
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,335
Chandler, you are not
gonna die alone.
287
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,837
Janice was my safety net, okay?
288
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,714
And now I have to get a snake.
289
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,884
Uh-huh. Why is that?
290
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:18,513
If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man,
I'm gonna need a thing.
291
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,348
You know, a hook.
292
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,601
Like that guy on the subway
who eats his own face.
293
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,354
So I figure I'll be
"Crazy Man With A Snake. "
294
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,855
Crazy Snake Man.
295
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,108
Then I'll get more snakes,
call them my babies.
296
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,485
Kids won't walk past my place,
they will run!
297
00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:35,905
"Run away from Crazy Snake Man,"
they'll shout!
298
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,953
You've got to get over this. Okay?
299
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,788
You won't end up alone.
300
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,581
Of course I am.
301
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,544
I reject anyone who's crazy enough
to actually go out with me...
302
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:53,422
...and then I bitch that there
aren't any great women out there.
303
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,426
Chandler, you have just described...
304
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:01,264
...virtually every man
that we've ever gone out with.
305
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,932
Yeah.
306
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,393
You are not a freak.
You're a guy.
307
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,229
She's right.
308
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,148
You're no different than the rest.
309
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,608
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Yes, he is.
310
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,610
You are totally different.
311
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:15,862
In a bad way?
312
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,864
No, honey, in a wonderful way.
313
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,824
You know what you want now.
314
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:21,617
Most guys don't even have a clue.
315
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:25,663
You're ready to take risks, be
vulnerable and intimate with someone.
316
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,456
You're not gonna end up alone.
317
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:33,838
You called Janice. That's how much
you wanted to be with someone!
318
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,466
- You've made it.
- You're there.
319
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,136
You are ready to make a commitment!
320
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,638
Whoa! Don't know about that.
321
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,063
Wow. What you got there?
322
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:54,483
Something else that's not yours
that you can break?
323
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:56,986
No.
324
00:19:57,404 --> 00:20:00,364
I know you like this
and I want you to have it.
325
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,575
It'll look good in our apartment.
326
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:05,578
Thank you.
327
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,336
That's fine.
328
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,588
- Hey.
Hey.
329
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:19,592
You'll all be pleased to know
that I have a date tomorrow night.
330
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,969
This woman Allison from work.
She is great.
331
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,389
She's pretty, she's smart.
And I've been...
332
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,935
...holding off asking her out
in the past, because she has a...
333
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,520
...unusually large head.
334
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,399
But I'm not going to let
that stuff hang me up anymore.
335
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,651
All right.
336
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,236
Look at me. I'm growing.
337
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,698
Hey, you can't recycle yearbooks,
can you?
338
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:44,700
I'll take that.
339
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,077
You want his yearbook?
340
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:50,665
Yeah. Yeah. Some people said nice things
about him. Somebody should have it.
341
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,334
Gosh, this is so weird.
342
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:56,879
His whole life was in
this apartment and now it's gone.
343
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:02,510
I think it would be nice if we just
took a few moments for Mr. Heckles.
344
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:07,473
I mean, he was kind of a pain.
He was, but he was a person.
345
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,102
What?
346
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,940
You're all going to hell.
347
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,359
It's really not that big.
348
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,781
- Taking that with you, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
349
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:31,580
Hey, you coming?
350
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,291
Yeah, in a second.
351
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,517
Goodbye, Mr. Heckles.
352
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,939
We'll try to keep it down.
353
00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:09,493
My major was useless.
354
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:13,831
How often do you look in the classifieds
and see "Philosopher Wanted"?
355
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,499
Heh, heh. Sure.
356
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:18,002
My God, that's a big head!
357
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,716
It didn't look this big in the office.
Maybe it's the lighting.
358
00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:27,178
My head must look
like a golf ball at work.
359
00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:32,016
Don't get hung up on it. Quick, quick.
List five things you like about her.
360
00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,226
Nice smile, good dresser.
361
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,979
Big head, big head, big head!
26767
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