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Previously
on "Stan Against Evil"...
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00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:10,220
♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Sorry.
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00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:37,680
♪♪
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Tonight's episode...
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"Cuckoo for Murder Puffs."
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Headed to Willard's Mill?
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Hop on in, friend.
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Car trouble?
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Assumed it'd be
car trouble,
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though I don't see
a car back there.
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Are you hurt?
I could take you
to the hospital.
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Not hurt.
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00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,790
So, um, what brings you
to Willard's Mill?
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00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:42,920
I'm here
to collect souls.
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And here we are.
Willard's Mill.
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Just cut through those trees,
and it's about 18 miles.
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Good, good, good.
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Just get out of the car,
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just like you're doing now,
and, uh...
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...great.
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Ohh!
28
00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:03,810
No, no, no!
No, no!
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Denise!
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00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,760
You been flushing stale bread
down the toilet again?
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You call it "flushing bread
down the toilet."
35
00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:45,290
I call it
"feeding the sewer pigeons."
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But I've told you,
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there -- there is
no such thing as the --
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00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:54,690
Just call the plumber,
will you, please?
39
00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:57,080
Can you do it?
I'm still getting ready.
40
00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:59,440
Kevin's taking me to see
the original play
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that inspired all
the "Fast and Furious" movies.
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I don't look too slutty, do I?
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♪♪
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Oh, I just look so warped.
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And dented.
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Oh. Ugh.
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Sweetheart,
you look fine.
48
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Go out
and have a good time.
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Or go out
and have a bad time,
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but -- but for
the love of Christ,
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just go out.
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Just go out.
Just go out.
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Just go out.
Okay.
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00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:27,290
Just go out.
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♪♪
56
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:31,470
Yeah, well, make it quick.
57
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My kitchen smells like
a fart threw up.
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Ah.
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[Receiver slams,
doorbell rings]
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00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,120
Hmm.
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00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,170
You called for a plumber?
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I just hung up.
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00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:44,260
Sorry for
the great service, pal.
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00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,140
Either this guy
was savagely beaten,
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00:03:48,180 --> 00:03:49,620
or this car was driven by
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a hundred pounds of lasagna
in a suit.
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Oof.
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00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,270
That looks like
a pot of beef stroganoff
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00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,800
in a three-piece suit.
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I said lasagna.
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That's funny!
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That's --
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Mm.
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00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,060
Sorry I'm late.
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00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,890
I had a crazy weekend
down in Boston
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00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:07,200
at the Deputies Convention.
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00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:08,720
There's
a Deputies Convention?
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00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,250
Yeah, Dep-Con.
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00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:11,380
I got second place
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00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,340
in the second-in-command
contest,
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00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,860
which, of course,
is their first place.
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00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,690
Wow.
I also got this.
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00:04:17,730 --> 00:04:19,210
It's a SmartStick.
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00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:21,170
Yeah, it's linked
to an app on my phone.
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00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:24,870
It gives me realtime updates
on the stick's location.
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00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:28,440
SmartStick App:
SmartStick location -- hip.
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00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,830
And it's also got a wicked
theft-prevention feature.
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00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,490
It electrocutes anyone
who tries to grab it from me.
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00:04:33,530 --> 00:04:35,100
Or me if I grab it wrong.
90
00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:38,010
So, what are
we thinking here?
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00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,490
Suicide?
92
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,890
Leon, his head is twisted
all the way around
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00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:44,020
and half his bones
are broken.
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00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:47,460
Eh, must have really
hated himself.
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00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,720
Mm-hmm.
96
00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:52,810
Mr. Miller?
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00:04:52,850 --> 00:04:53,980
Can I show you something?
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00:04:54,030 --> 00:04:56,770
Uh, what do you got?
99
00:04:56,810 --> 00:04:59,080
A C.H.U.D.
100
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,640
Cannibalistic Humanoid
Underground Dweller.
101
00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:04,470
What are you, dense?I'm not much of a reader.
102
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:05,870
Look at that.
103
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,700
Plumber: Die!
104
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:12,960
What the hell
are ya doing?
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00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,230
Stop resisting!
106
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,790
Well, you have exactly
zero upper-body strength.
107
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:21,970
Die! Die!
108
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,100
Oh, stop.
109
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:25,020
Ohh! God!
110
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,320
Right on the knob.
111
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,590
Forget it.
112
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,720
What are you,
one of these demons
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sent by Constable Eccles
to kill me and Evie?
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00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:41,070
No.Yeah.
115
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,290
Yeah, and you need
to be killed real soon.
116
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:44,950
We know what you're up to
with Haurus.
117
00:05:44,990 --> 00:05:46,910
Can I ask you
a personal question?
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00:05:46,950 --> 00:05:48,260
Yeah. Why not?
119
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:51,040
What do they
call you down there?
120
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,740
The Red Ninja?
Oh!
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00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,780
Eh, my heart's not in it,
okay?
122
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,440
I mean, who could care?Mm-hmm.
123
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:05,840
They sent me here,
I tried, and I failed.
124
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:09,230
Okay,
I'll get outta your hair.
125
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,800
Just a second there,
Bruce Lee.
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00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,800
You ain't fixing
my toilet?
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00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:15,720
You know I'm not
a real plumber, right?
128
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:16,980
Give it your best shot.
129
00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:19,030
Hell never ends.
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00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:20,330
Mm.
131
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,680
Hey, I'm good at this!Stan: Yeah.
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00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:25,080
Can I, uh, pick your brain
for a second, there?Sure.
133
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,340
Bill, by the way.
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00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:27,770
Bill the Demon.
Terrific stuff.
135
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:28,950
Stanley Miller.
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00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:30,170
Stan.
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00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:31,650
Oh.
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00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:36,700
♪♪
139
00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:38,780
Kevin: Uh, Denise,
140
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:41,660
this is not the Yaphet Kotto
Community Playhouse.
141
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,090
No.
142
00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:47,880
This is where kids park
and...canoodle.
143
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,930
Oh.
144
00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:51,970
Oh!
145
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,320
Oh...
146
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,200
Mm.
147
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,150
Mm.
Mm.
148
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,290
Mm.
Mm.
149
00:07:01,330 --> 00:07:02,460
I can't do this!I knew it.
150
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,200
You're Amish.
No.
151
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,810
No, it --
it's that kid over there.
152
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,380
He keeps staring at us.
153
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:11,250
♪♪
154
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,040
I'll go talk to him.
155
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,820
♪♪
156
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:19,740
What's your problem?
157
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,480
Hey, uh, buddy,
158
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,270
could ya maybe
not stare?
159
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,090
Trying to get in the zone.
160
00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:30,140
Hey.
161
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:34,360
♪♪
162
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,320
Kevin: My God!
163
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,320
This guy has no bones.
164
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,330
Wait a minute.
165
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,980
His girlfriend is dead.
166
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:48,330
This guy with no bones
is dating a dead woman!
167
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:51,420
Kevin,
they're both dead.
168
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:53,250
♪♪
169
00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:54,600
You're right.
170
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,380
I better get digging.
171
00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:58,340
What?!
Sorry.
172
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,260
I'm -- I'm always
at work in my head.
173
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:04,220
♪♪
174
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,790
Personally,
I don't care what you do,
175
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,570
but I'm not the one
calling the shots.
176
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:12,230
If I was, I probably wouldn't
have gotten burned at the stake.
177
00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:14,750
You know what I mean?Eccles.
178
00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:16,320
That son of a bitch.
179
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,410
He's gonna get what's
coming to him soon enough.
180
00:08:18,450 --> 00:08:20,500
But let me pivot,
Bill the Demon.
181
00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:23,060
You say you're familiar
with this demon named Haurus?
182
00:08:23,110 --> 00:08:24,460
Yeah.
183
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:25,670
Yeah, I know him.
184
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,110
I need to find a way
to contact him.
185
00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:29,680
I need -- I need to get
in touch with this guy.
186
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:30,810
You don't want to do that.
187
00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:33,990
Evie: Stan? Stan.
188
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,730
Stan,
we got another demon...
189
00:08:36,770 --> 00:08:39,430
...stration to present
at the senior center
190
00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:41,430
about why old people
open their mouths
191
00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:42,780
when they're driving.
192
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:45,000
It's okay, it's okay.
This is Bill.
193
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,740
Bill, this is Evie.
Evie, this is Bill.
194
00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:48,220
Bill's a demon.
195
00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:50,260
Hands where I can see 'em!
196
00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:52,570
They are
where you can see 'em.
197
00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:53,620
Aha!
198
00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:58,320
Thank you
for your compliance.
199
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:02,840
Why are you having
a beer with him?
200
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,760
Oh, take it easy.
Bill's good people, huh?
201
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,320
It's not his fault
he's a demon.
202
00:09:06,370 --> 00:09:07,370
Right, pal?
203
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,590
Well, it is his fault that
204
00:09:09,630 --> 00:09:11,980
two teenagers
and a motorist are dead.
205
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,240
No, no, no.
That wasn't me.
206
00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:14,550
That was the Bondsman.
207
00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:15,720
The who?
208
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:17,460
Yeah, so,
if you don't kill me
209
00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:18,990
and I don't kill you,
210
00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:21,290
Eccles sends this, uh, demon
they call the Bondsman
211
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:24,340
to drag me
back to the pit.
212
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:26,260
And I was hoping
to have a little time
213
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,300
to just hang out.
Ah.
214
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,960
The leaves are so gorgeous
this time of year.
215
00:09:32,570 --> 00:09:34,480
If the Bondsman
is only after you,
216
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:36,570
why is he killing
other people?
217
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,750
"Because he likes it."
218
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:41,360
"Dirty Harry!"
Yes!
219
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,620
Oh!
Classic stuff, Bill.
220
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:46,320
You know,
I took my wife, Claire,
221
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,760
to that on our first date.
222
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,540
She loves that movie.
223
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:51,240
Oh, nice!
224
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,540
Hello?
225
00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:54,330
Does that mean
that the "Bondsman"
226
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:55,630
is gonna kill us, too?
227
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:56,630
Oh, yeah.
228
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,110
And he'll do it in a way
229
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,330
that'll really make you wish
I had killed you.
230
00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:00,940
Hmm.
231
00:10:00,990 --> 00:10:02,860
Then you need to turn yourself
in to this Bondsman
232
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,290
before anybody else
gets hurt.
233
00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:06,990
Oh, now, hold your horses,
hold your horses.
234
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,340
You understand,
235
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,130
I've learned more
about Constable Eccles
236
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:11,480
in the last hour
237
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,130
than we've figured out
in the last two years.
238
00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:14,780
Here's my idea.
239
00:10:14,830 --> 00:10:17,440
We figure out how to get rid
of this Bondsman,
240
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,610
and then we put Bill the Demon
on the starting squad.
241
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,750
Do you love it?
242
00:10:20,790 --> 00:10:21,920
Blow it up.
243
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,750
Yeah,
you know what I'm saying.
244
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,620
Uh...
245
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:26,930
Oh...
246
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:28,750
Yeah, I'm s--
I'm sorry, Bill.
247
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,230
I have a town
to protect.
248
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:33,370
No, she --
she's right, Stan.
249
00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:35,330
It's --
It's the right thing to do.
250
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:36,720
Okay.
251
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,760
There is one thing
I'd like to do first.
252
00:10:38,810 --> 00:10:40,070
Grab another brew?
253
00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:41,770
Second.
254
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:54,870
That's a demon joke.Evie:
Yeah, no, I get it.
255
00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,690
I don't like it.
256
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,960
Nobody likes it.
257
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,700
I'm a demon.
258
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:01,310
♪♪
259
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,050
Bill: This is me.
260
00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:06,010
♪♪
261
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:07,710
It's a weird thing
to stand over your own grave.
262
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,320
I don't recommend it.
263
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,010
Yeah, actually,
we, uh --
264
00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:14,710
We've...been through
some stuff.
265
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,540
I lost my wife
the winter before I died.
266
00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:19,460
The snows came.
267
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,550
We had no food or firewood.
268
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:24,370
That's when the bear got her.
269
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:27,550
I killed it, skinned it,
used its fur for warmth,
270
00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:29,730
and ate like a king
for the rest of the winter.
271
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:31,120
♪♪
272
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,820
Thank God for that bear.
273
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,910
♪♪
274
00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:36,870
It's a shame you
haven't figured out how
to open The Passage.
275
00:11:36,910 --> 00:11:38,170
You could free
all these people.
276
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:39,690
The what, now?
277
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,170
The Passage that connects
the land of the living
278
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,790
and the realm of the dead.
279
00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:45,530
There's a spell that'll
reverse the flow of energy
280
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:46,740
between the two worlds.
281
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,920
And what would that do?
282
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,840
Well, basically,
it would take all the souls
283
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,100
that Eccles has imprisoned
and spit them back out,
284
00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:55,100
and then the Bondsman,
who's here,
285
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:56,970
would be sucked back in.
286
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,580
You hear that, Barret?
287
00:11:58,630 --> 00:11:59,980
This --
288
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,410
This could be it.
289
00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:03,200
Stan --No, hear me out.
290
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,020
Eccles is only as strong
as his army.
291
00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:06,850
You take away
his soldiers,
292
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,770
and he's just
another jerkoff in a hat.
293
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,860
Now, Bill the Demon,
do you know this spell?
294
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:13,510
No.
295
00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:15,770
I wouldn't begin to know
where to look for it.
296
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:16,990
♪♪
297
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,350
♪♪
298
00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,560
Well, that's
an interesting theory,
299
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,440
but I don't see how
two dead people
300
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,130
could meet up
and go on a date.
301
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,440
Well...
302
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,270
Well, you two kids
best get home.
303
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:33,920
Oh, Kevin, I'm gonna
need that blanket.
304
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,270
Can't I keep it?
305
00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:37,580
You got, like,
five of them now.
306
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:44,150
Keep it. Yes!
307
00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:46,670
[Car door closes,
engine starts]
308
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:57,770
♪♪
309
00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:04,870
♪♪
310
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,790
♪♪
311
00:13:16,570 --> 00:13:18,440
Say hello
to my SmartStick!
312
00:13:18,490 --> 00:13:20,710
SmartStick app:
SmartStick location --
on ground.
313
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:21,710
Aah.
314
00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:31,590
♪♪
315
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,810
♪♪
316
00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:36,510
Bondsman:
317
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:43,560
♪♪
318
00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:47,690
You better run!
319
00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:51,520
Aaah!
320
00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:57,960
♪ Ba-da-ba-da-ba-bee-da-da-da
321
00:13:58,010 --> 00:13:59,400
♪ Ba-dee-ba-da-ba-da-da
322
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,270
♪ Ba-da, ba-da
323
00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:03,140
♪ Ba, ba-da-ba-da
324
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:06,190
♪ Ba bup, ba bup,
ba, ba-ba ♪
325
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:09,580
♪ Ba, ba-da-ba-da,
ba-da, ba-da, da ♪
326
00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:11,370
♪ Ba, ba-da-da,
ba, ba-da-da ♪
327
00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:12,720
♪ Ba-ba, da
328
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,980
♪ Ba-ba-da ♪ Ba-ba-da
329
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,330
♪ Ba-ba, ba
330
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:16,760
♪ Ba, ba-da-da,
ba, ba-da-da ♪
331
00:14:16,810 --> 00:14:18,330
♪ Ba-ba-da-ba, ba
332
00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:19,330
♪ Ba-ba, ba-da
333
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,680
♪ Ba-ba, ba-da, bup
334
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:23,990
Had enough?
335
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,730
♪ Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da
336
00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:27,510
♪ Ba-ba, ba-da ♪ Ba-ba, ba-da
337
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,170
♪ Ba, ba-ba-da-da ♪ Ba, ba-ba-da-da
338
00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:30,870
♪ Ba bup, ba bup
339
00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:32,610
♪ Ba bup, ba bup
340
00:14:32,650 --> 00:14:35,040
♪ Ba, da
341
00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:37,610
♪ Ba, da
342
00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:39,530
♪ Ba SmartStick App:
User not recognized.
343
00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:44,180
Aah!
344
00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:45,490
Aah!
345
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:49,490
There's more
where that came from!
346
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,060
SmartStick App:
User not recognized.
347
00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:58,850
Okay, Leon,
well, just stay on him.
348
00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:00,550
Okay, don't stay on him.
349
00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:02,110
We're putting together
a plan now.
350
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,070
Any luck?Nothing here.
351
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,250
Oh-ho, hey, guys,
I think this might be it.
352
00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:10,170
"The Decussation
of the Passage."
353
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,730
Uh...
354
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,000
So, okay, we go back
to where we're all buried
355
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,130
and chant this spell.
356
00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:18,870
And then, "what is imprisoned
shall be free,
357
00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,830
and what is free
shall be imprisoned."
358
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:23,570
In other words,
the Bondsman is toast,
359
00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:26,660
and I'm a free man!
360
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,750
And the other trapped souls
will be free, as well?
361
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:31,320
Well, that --
that's what it says here, so --
362
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,970
so, what -- what --
what do you think?
363
00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:35,540
Can you give us a sec?
364
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,280
Uh, sure, yeah.
No problem.
365
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,410
I...gotta use
the little demon's room, anyway.
366
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,200
Is this
too good to be true?
367
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,420
Yeah.
368
00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:51,290
But think about
all the stuff
369
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:53,640
that was too bad
to be true, huh?
370
00:15:53,690 --> 00:15:54,990
Huh?
Let's -- Let's --
371
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,470
Let's not look a gift horse
in the mouth.
372
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,300
Take it from one
who's had a gift horse --
373
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:01,350
it doesn't always
work out great.
374
00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:03,610
I'm done.
375
00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:07,700
I'm -- I'm done with
the endless parade of freaks.
376
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:09,350
Listen to me.
377
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,830
We have
an honest-to-God chance
378
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,230
to leave this party
early.
379
00:16:14,270 --> 00:16:15,930
And I'm taking it.
380
00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:22,630
♪♪
381
00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:24,670
This is nice.
382
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,460
We can go see that play
some other time.
383
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:28,940
I just realized,
384
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,550
I think I'm gonna
have to see those kids again
385
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,720
at least one more time.
386
00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:33,030
You think
it'll be awkward?
387
00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:34,250
I don't think so.
388
00:16:34,290 --> 00:16:35,470
They seemed nice.
389
00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:37,340
Mm.
Mm.
390
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:39,520
♪♪
391
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,780
Hey, guys!Aah!
392
00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:41,780
Dad, what are you
doing here?
393
00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:43,390
What are you doing here?
394
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:46,220
Well, it's been
a dead people kind of day.
395
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:47,610
Evie:
Heh, that's great.
396
00:16:47,650 --> 00:16:49,090
Listen, I know
this is last-minute,
397
00:16:49,130 --> 00:16:50,610
but does either of you
have any interest
398
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,090
in being a part
of a demonic ritual?
399
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:53,750
We need
two more for a set.Well --
400
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:55,230
We're kind of
in the middle
401
00:16:55,270 --> 00:16:56,710
Just take a minute.
402
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:57,880
Okay.
403
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,320
Then this
will all be over.
404
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,190
Follow Bill the Demon.
405
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,540
Kevin: Okay.Stan:
Come on, sweetheart.
406
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:03,930
Denise: Chop-chop, Kev.
407
00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:05,720
This is so awkward, Dad.
408
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:06,800
♪♪
409
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,810
♪♪
410
00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:14,810
Listen,
no matter what happens,
411
00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:16,070
I just want to say
412
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,550
I really enjoyed
hanging with you guys,
413
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,380
and I'm glad
I didn't kill you.
414
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:20,820
And I-I-I'd just like
to say --
415
00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:22,380
I don't want to get
too emotional here,
416
00:17:22,430 --> 00:17:23,820
but, brother,
we're all very lucky
417
00:17:23,860 --> 00:17:24,950
that you suck at your job.
418
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,080
This guy!
-Yow!
419
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,300
-You!
-You!
420
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:29,610
-You!
-Oh, no, you!
421
00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:31,050
Stan: Come on, now,
let's, uh --
422
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:33,180
Let's bang out
some spells and --
423
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,660
and spring us
some goddamned souls.
424
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:38,100
What do you say?
How's it go?
425
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:42,060
All:
Convertant Lucam Lenebre
426
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:46,100
Viitet Mortuus Est,
427
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:51,370
Aperis Obscura
Haeccun Dei.
428
00:17:51,410 --> 00:17:56,160
♪♪
429
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,460
Uh...
430
00:17:58,510 --> 00:17:59,730
What's happening?
431
00:17:59,770 --> 00:18:01,950
Denise:
Why am I floating?
432
00:18:01,990 --> 00:18:03,120
♪♪
433
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,430
Stan: Hey, cabrone.
434
00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:07,040
T-This is part of the show,
right?
435
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,170
Okay, confession time.
436
00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:11,480
The spell
you just recited is --
437
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,960
Well, basically, you just
condemned yourselves to Hell.
438
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,660
Bill!
What?
439
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:19,620
♪♪
440
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:22,230
I know. I conned you.
I'm sorry.
441
00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:24,400
Actually, I'm not sorry.
442
00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:26,140
Well,
I'm sorry I'm not sorry.
443
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:27,450
Can you be that?
I think I'm that.
444
00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:29,710
♪♪
445
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,370
And The Passage?
For the souls?
446
00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:34,370
No such thing!
I made it up.
447
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,370
See, Stan?
What did I tell you?
448
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:41,070
I said
it's too good to be true!
449
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,680
Oh, no,
that's just great.
450
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:44,510
Kick the guy
on his way to Hell.
451
00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:46,250
Real sportsmanlike.
452
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,250
This is all your fault,
Stan.
453
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:49,950
Because you are messing
454
00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:53,130
with forces
you don't understand.
455
00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:54,480
I always wanted to say that.
456
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,570
And the, uh --
the Bondsman,
457
00:18:56,610 --> 00:18:58,260
he was working with you
the whole time, huh?
458
00:18:58,310 --> 00:19:00,440
No!
That's the best part --
459
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,790
there is no "Bondsman"!
460
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,400
I made him up, too!
461
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,490
Who's killing
all those people?
462
00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:07,400
I don't know! Some nut!
463
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,060
Just a happy coincidence.
464
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,540
Uh, but it made the lie
so much easier to sell.
465
00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:13,100
Just,
it kinda wrote itself!
466
00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:14,710
♪♪
467
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,320
And now it's time
for you to go.
468
00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:17,720
♪♪
469
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:24,420
Aragoth, norgoth,
zorgoth --
470
00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:26,600
♪♪
471
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,640
Ah-gah-gah-gah-gah!
Gah-gah-gah-gah-gah!
472
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,120
Bondsman:
473
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,210
Ohh!
474
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,560
♪♪
475
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,560
Aah!
476
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:41,910
Who are you?
477
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,660
I'm the Collector of Souls.
478
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:44,830
Who are you, really?
479
00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,700
I'm Billy Ray Tugmeyer.
480
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,180
I'm an escaped lunatic.
481
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,710
Denise: You saved us.I did?
482
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,970
Yeah. This guy was about
to send us to Hell.
483
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:55,280
Oh.
That's nice.
484
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,360
Anyway...
485
00:19:59,890 --> 00:20:01,980
♪♪
486
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,760
Leon: Freeze!
487
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:09,860
That's him!
488
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,470
Good timing.
489
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,680
I got this.
490
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:21,610
SmartStick app:
Broken femur.
491
00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:23,700
Evie: Okay.
492
00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:26,050
Leon, I think we're...good.
We're good.
493
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:27,310
Uh...
494
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,570
Broken sacrum.Hey, Stan.
495
00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:31,920
What'd this one mean
about, uh,
496
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,970
you "messing with powers
you don't understand"?
497
00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:37,060
Come on.
You know these demons.
498
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,490
Diarrhea of the mouth,
constipation of the brain.
499
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,150
Let's go home.
500
00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:45,460
Eh, okay.
501
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:49,370
Congratulations.
11 calories burned.
502
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:57,770
I've had about enough
of this thing.
503
00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:07,830
SmartStick location --
alone.
504
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:12,790
Leon?
505
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:16,230
Come back.
506
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,270
I'm afraid, Leon.
507
00:21:22,230 --> 00:21:23,490
Leon?
508
00:21:23,540 --> 00:21:26,110
[Johann Strauss'
"The Blue Danube"plays]
32863
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