Original subtitles

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♪ I could fill myself with any man Every man ♪

♪ But it wouldn't be your eyes ♪

♪ Wouldn't be your lips ♪

♪ And I'd wake To the smell of a stranger ♪

♪ Under my fingertips... ♪

Oh, Jesus.

Amazing.

What?

- Tell me what's amazing. - You.

♪ Oh, your hands ♪

♪ Your lips... ♪

They say when you get to the top of Everest, you're dizzy.

You're a nauseous mess.

♪ All of the pieces within... ♪

But you're at the top of the world.

♪ I give you my skin ♪

♪ All the pieces within... ♪

- They can see you! They can see you. - I don't care! I don't care!

It's an amazing, heart-pounding moment

most people only experience once.

♪ Till I learn what love is ♪

Which is a good thing.

'Cause if you did it a lot more than that...

it'd probably kill you.

Look at those lashes.

I mean, you are just gorgeous.

You know that?

Yeah.

Hey.

Hi.

What are you doing?

I was thinking maybe we could finish what we started last night.

Hmm?

I gotta get to work, babe. I'm gonna be late.

Okay, so be late.

- Billie. - What?

The service light's on in the Jag still.

When you gonna get that fixed?

- They can take the car at 2. - Great.

Bye, sweet girl.

Bubba! Hey.

Have a great day at school, okay? Love you, bud.

See ya.

Bye.

Brad's right.

I am a liar.

I've been thinking about him a lot.

Clearly.

I remember the night I started writing in this journal.

Ellary is 1 month old today and still awake most of the night,

which means so am I.

It's a weird cocoon, these first few months with a new baby.

"Isolating," people say.

Okay.

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay. Yes, yes, yes.

You have to remember to shower, get dressed, go out into the world.

You're exhausted.

You're in the shit.

And you know it.

It's okay.

It was the same way with Hudson.

Oh, my gosh.

I know, I know.

But then they get older, easier.

I know. It's okay.

You think, "We should have another."

It's okay.

And then one day you wake up and you've become this whole other person.

It's more love than you ever could have imagined.

But still...

you can't help wondering...

where did that other girl go?

I thought if I could get it all out of my head, down on paper,

I'd feel better.

But now it's like I can't stop.

Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.

Come on.

- Get that thing away from me. - No.

Nobody has an ass this perfect unless they want it memorialized on video.

- I hate you right now. - Well...

You're not gonna hate me in a minute.

All right.

Look at you.

Look at us.

♪ The skin I'm in ♪

♪ Oh, your hands ♪

♪ Your lips... ♪

Hudson.

Hudson?

Hudson.

Where are you?

Hudson, what's going on?

I'm hiding.

- What are you doing, baby? - I don't wanna go to school.

I know.

I know. I know it's hard.

It's a change, but, um...

But we have to be brave.

Right.

Okay?

You can do it.

I know you can.

Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come here.

- Hey, Connelly. - Uh, yeah, Francesca.

- You ready for some good news? - Sure.

All right, listen up, everybody!

I read over all your proposals

and was happy to discover that more than a few did not suck.

But we're moving forward with Nanogenics, Cooper's bio-engineering pick.

The partners are coming into town next week,

so I want all hands on deck.

Any questions, Cooper's running point.

And I want to add:

A lot of people had numbers on their side,

but Cooper also had passion, vision.

We have an opportunity to make a real difference here.

That's the kind of thing that gets you noticed.

And...

I noticed.

- Congratulations, you lucky fucker. - Thanks, buddy. It's a good company.

I ain't talking about the company. I'm talking about Francesca.

She is so far up your asshole, I mean, it's gotta tickle.

Wanna do me a favor? Wanna start on these projections for me?

Just because she didn't pick my company

- doesn't make me your numbers monkey. - Come on. Please?

Just got something I've gotta... I've gotta go do.

Oh, honey, you are gonna have so much fun.

Remember those paper zebras you made?

And look! Rory's here. And so is Caitlyn.

Hi, everyone.

Okay, come here. Come here. Come here.

Have a good day, sweetie, and I will see you right after lunch.

I promise.

- Don't go! - Oh.

No, Mommy. I wanna stay with you.

Morning, Hudson.

Morning.

Hudson's having a bit of a hard time with the preschool transition.

I can see that.

I know he'll be fine as soon as I'm out of sight.

Actually, we should talk.

Why don't you start working on your zebra?

There's a seat right across from Rory.

Hi, good morning.

Look, Hudson's obviously very attached to you.

- He clearly loves you so much. - Thank you.

And I know that this is all just part of the process.

True, but maybe he's not ready.

I think we should step things back till he feels more comfortable.

- I think you should stay. - Oh. Okay.

Uh, well, do you wanna go back to ten minutes out, ten minutes in?

I think you should plan to stay the whole day.

Really?

Well, you're not working now anyway, right? So...

Right.

Yes.

This is my focus.

- Wonderful! - Yeah.

Maybe you can cut up some snack while you're here.

- Sure. - Great.

Hi.

I can't believe Ms. Brenda's letting you stay the whole day.

I would give anything to do that with Hannah.

She's having all these conversations and experiences I know nothing about.

You're so lucky.

It's a whole new world.

I can bring you a sandwich at lunch.

Oh, no. That's okay. I mean, you don't need to do that.

Are you kidding? I am dying to see who Hannah eats lunch with.

BFD Music, can I help you?

Hi. Um...

- I'm looking for Brad Simon. - You just missed him.

Thank you.

Hi, welcome.

Hi, yeah. How much for, um...?

For a one-day pass?

- Our monthly plans start at 600. - That's okay, I just need the one day.

Well, you can sign up for a trial week after meeting with one of our consultants.

They'll give you a tour plus vouchers for our juice bar.

Only takes about 40 minutes. Brandy can actually take you right now.

Give me the month. I'll take the month.

- Amazing. - Thanks.

- I'm gonna need some clothes. - Pro shop's right behind you.

Object permanence.

That's what they call it.

When a child learns that things continue to exist

even when you can't see them.

That they're still out there, somewhere in the world.

Even when you haven't seen them for eight long years.

This place is a palace.

I'm pretty sure there's a real prince who lives in the presidential suite.

I didn't realize your mom was so fancy.

Ah, she wasn't always. Stepdad's the one with the cash.

Well, you never talk about your parents, so...

Parent. Just Mom.

Lucky for you.

Okay. Well, what does that mean?

- Look, I just want her to like me, so... - Relax. She's gonna love you.

I'm just stressing out.

What can I do to make you relax?

Brad. Are you crazy?

We're going to 22.

You've got 19 floors to come.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

♪ Get my shit together ♪

♪ Gonna, gonna get my... together ♪

♪ Gonna get my shit together... ♪

Yes!

♪ Gonna, gonna get my... together ♪

♪ Into the unknown I move slow ♪

♪ But I'm on my way now, I swear ♪

♪ Gonna get my shit together... ♪

Yeah.

Yeah!

♪ Gonna get my shit together ♪

♪ Gonna, gonna get by... ♪

Billie?

Billie? It's circle time. We wondered if you'd like to read us the book.

Oh, yes.

Of course. Yes, I would love to.

Here you go.

Okay, all right.

Okay, everybody.

Let's welcome Hudson's mom!

Thank you!

Well, you know what? You can call me Billie or "Mommy." And...

Come here, baby.

Come here.

All right, well, this book happens to be one of Hudson's favorites.

So let's see how you like it.

- Thanks, mate. See you tomorrow. - No problem. Yeah.

There you go.

Okay, here, baby.

Yes, yes. You have fun, honey.

Okay? And I'll be right here when you get back, I promise.

- All right. - Okay.

Shh, shh, shh.

Hey, hot mama.

How's it going?

Um...

Not so good.

I'm, um...

I'm at Hudson's preschool and I'm supposed to be helping, but...

I can't stop thinking about Brad.

What? What are you talking about?

And the truth is,

I'm really jealous because I know the sex that you're having...

Hold on.

What the hell happened between last night and this morning?

You said everything was great,

that Cooper licked it like a lollipop for the first time in a year and a half.

Yeah, then this morning, it was back to no business as usual.

I mean, the only thing Cooper wanted to talk about was fixing the goddamn car.

Nothing's changed, Sash, and it's not going to.

How did it even start, with you and Brad?

In Paris.

You guys went to Paris together?

No, not together.

He was on tour with some band. I was at a conference.

We met up, drank a few too many glasses of Chateau Margaux,

and... Paris will do that to you.

I'd fuck anyone in Paris.

And then?

And then...

it was really good.

As good as you remember.

So...

I did it again.

A bunch of times.

But now I am so sorry I did.

I'm sorry I never told you.

I'm sorry about the whole damn thing.

It's fine.

You know, I mean, I have no right to be upset

or even ask about any of this.

Of course you do. Are you kidding me?

No, you guys should be together.

You know? I mean, you make sense.

What does that mean?

Well, you know, maybe, um...

Maybe you should date him for real.

No, thanks. You're the one who did that and look where it got you.

I had to peel you off the floor for weeks.

The only men in your life were Jose Cuervo and Ben & Jerry.

- I know, I remember. - Do you?

Brad was bad fucking news,

I bet you're not writing about that in your journal.

You're just romanticizing the whole thing.

Look, Brad's a hot lay, but that's it.

And, frankly, not worth all this damn drama.

I don't ever need to fuck him again.

It's fine.

You know, I mean...

Fuck him or don't fuck him, but just, you know, don't stop because of me.

Sasha's right.

Brad wasn't just bad news. He was my own personal apocalypse.

But it was thrilling.

Addicting.

All that drama.

Okay, come on! Okay, play your mother the single.

- You're not gonna like it. - I'm your mum, I already love it.

Okay.

Why, it's, um...

- ♪ We could both stars... ♪ - Oh.

- What do you call them again? - Beginners.

We were dancing all night to these guys.

I wouldn't have the faintest idea how to dance to this.

- Oh, no. I mean... - Oh, come on. Come on, Mum.

You know, if you could dance to Elvis...

- Elvis? - Yeah. You could dance to anything.

- Come on. Up you get. - I'm not that old.

- Yes! - Up you get.

Yes!

Oh, still got it, have we?

Oh, Mum.

I love you, Mum.

- Dance with us, love. - Oh, no, no, no.

- It's fine. - No, it's not fine. Up you get.

Come on. Up, up, up.

- Okay. - All of us. Yep.

All right.

- I'll show you some moves. - Yes. Please.

- Okay, and go this way! - Right?

- And... Oh, twirl. - Okay.

- Here we go. Ready? - This is so great!

I love her.

A dance party?

How decadent.

Hi.

You told me he wasn't gonna be here.

Because I knew you wouldn't come.

- You got that right. - Darling. Let him be a part of your life.

I really don't. We're leaving now. Let's go.

- What? - At least introduce me to your friend.

- I don't think so. - You've already forgotten her name?

- Hey. - Yeah, he's got quite a track record.

- What is that supposed to mean? - What are you, drunk?

- Jonathan... - Brad loves the chase.

He comes on like a whirlwind.

All hot and heavy.

Even bringing them home to meet dear old Mum.

- Billie, get your purse. - The second you get close,

the second you get just a little too real, what does Mr. Fancy record producer do?

- He moves on to a new act. - You have no idea what I do.

Hump them and dump them, isn't that right, son?

Don't call me that!

- You're not my father. - Well, at least I stuck around.

Which is a lot more than you can say for that scumbag you call "Dad."

Are you gonna stand there and let him act like this?

I'm gonna make it easy on both of you.

We never should have come.

I'll get you a cab.

- What is going on? - You're the shrink, you tell me.

Fine. Then stop acting like the asshole Jonathan says you are.

What do you want me to say? That my dad took off?

That I got dragged 10,000 miles away to be raised by a dickhead stepfather

that looks for new ways to tell me I'm a piece of shit everyday

and that my mom lets him? Yeah. Yo!

- Yes. If that's the truth. Yes. - Come on.

- It's yours, get in. - No. Just talk to me.

Why? So you can swoop in and fix me?

Hmm? Yeah. You know, you're so curious about everyone else, but what about you?

Running away from redneck Mom and Dad down in Georgia?

Stop it. Stop!

- You don't know anything about them. - Yeah.

Maybe if Daddy gave you a little more attention...

you wouldn't fuck a stranger on the first night you met him.

You...

You are dead wrong about my dad. And don't do this.

I know what you're doing. Don't push me away.

You think you're so special, don't you?

Guess what, Billie?

You're not.

You're not special.

And you're not my fucking girlfriend.

Mommy, look.

Look what I made.

Hudson.

Honey, this is...

This is perfect.

It's our family.

Who...? Okay.

- Who is this? - Mommy.

- Yes. And who is that? - Ellary.

Yes. And who's that?

- Daddy. - That's Daddy.

- And who's this guy? - Me.

That's you.

Your bath is ready, niño.

Time to come upstairs.

Olga, look.

- That's fantastic. - It's our first family portrait.

Hey, Olga. Um...

Is there any chance that you could stay a little bit longer?

- Uh, sure. Is everything okay? - Oh, yes.

There is, um...

There's just something that I need to do.

Cooper's a sweetheart.

He would never even dream of treating me the way Brad treated me.

So how come Brad's the one I can't stop thinking about?

He always managed to find a way back in.

Oh, my God, Sash.

What he said about me, he said it...

He said it so calmly.

He said it so matter-of-fact.

He wasn't just making stuff up.

He believed it.

He'd thought about it.

Just remember.

- He's the piece of shit. Not you. - Ugh.

You should have seen him. It's like, when he threw that glass...

he was so scary.

He was like a completely different person.

He's a psycho.

Better to find out now.

Oh, please. Brad's never getting married or even having a honeymoon.

I'm an idiot.

Don't answer it.

Ignore him. He will go away.

- Billie! - What the hell?

I'm sorry, Billie! Just talk to me.

B, B, I know what you're thinking, and don't do it.

- Please! - Hey, asshole! Shut the hell up!

Get lost or I'm calling the cops!

Billie!

Is he out of his mind?

- Okay... - I'm gonna handle this.

Sash. If I don't go down there myself, he'll never stop.

You know it.

I'll spot you.

Billie! Billie, I know you're up there.

- What do you want? - Look, I screwed up, okay?

- This is all on me. - Yeah, I already knew that, okay?

You're wasting your time.

Just... Just go.

Please.

- I don't wanna lose you. - You already have!

I didn't... I didn't mean what I said.

And I hate myself for saying it, okay?

Just give me five minutes.

Please.

Maybe Jonathan's right.

This is what I always do.

But I don't wanna do it with you.

Just let me explain.

You get rid of that freak show?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

I'll be in my room.

Look, you said you wanted to hear the truth.

That I should tell you more about my family, so...

My real dad left when I was 8.

I never saw him again.

Never even sent a birthday card.

But he would send me records.

Miles Davis.

Leonard Cohen. Velvet Underground.

Nirvana. Dre. The Legends.

He turned me on to them all.

So when I started my company...

Yeah, I did it... I did it for the music.

But also, I thought...

I thought if I got big enough...

that he'd just show up.

Probably just to ask for a loan.

But I'm still waiting.

And I guess I always will be.

But do you know what's messed up?

Twenty-four years, no birthday cards later.

I still miss him.

I been to enough shrinks to know that it's all connected.

I just...

I push people away.

Because to me, with my family...

it feels like love.

So let me guess.

Now's the part where you tell me I've gotta go and find my dad.

I would.

But I think you already know that.

I'm sorry.

This is new.

I got the car fixed.

Mmm.

You smell good.

Yeah, I, uh, worked out at lunch, so how was your day?

- It was good. Yeah. - Yeah?

You?

Yeah. It was, um...

- It was good. It was, um, interesting. - Mm-hm.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Whoa. - Yeah.

Well, what's that about?

Get in the car.

I have an idea.

Oh, jeez.

- All right. Hold on. - Okay.

Yeah.

Let me get this.

- Can you get the...? All right. - Okay.

Shit.

It's the car seat.

Fuck you, car seat.

- It doesn't matter. Come here. - Okay.

Okay.

- Okay. - Honey. Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry. Just ignore it. Ignore it.

It'll stop, eventually. Come on. Let's go.

- Okay, Billie. I can't make it stop. - Just do it. No. Oh, my God.

- Come on, Cooper, I want you. - I want you too.

- Go. - Come on.

Come on.

Fuck me.

I'm so sorry.

- It was like, everywhere, and I... - No. It's fine. I know.

- It's just... Distracting. - I know. It's okay.

We don't need to do this.

- Yeah. Oh, my... My foot. - Yeah. I got it.

My foot.

Sorry.

Yes, we do.

- What? - Yes, we do.

- We need to do this. - Okay.

Okay? Put that seat back.

Yes.

Okay.

- Okay. - Come here.

On my way.

Oh, yeah.

Okay. Come on.

Oh, yeah, you got it.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh. Oh.

Honey. Okay, slow down.

It's gonna work.

It's gonna work.

- Okay. Yeah. - It's gonna work.

Slow down. Cooper.

It's gonna work.

It's...

gonna...

What are you doing here?

Are you gonna let me in?

I didn't know if we were still cool doing this.

After Billie.

Yeah, I think that's a no.

For a lot of reasons.

Why?

What did she say?

Nothing.

She's fine with it.

- Really? - Yeah, she said I could fuck you or not.

Ah, so then...

what's the problem?

If Billie's really...

...fine with it?

You are so damn cocky.

You don't think there's any reason I could possibly say no to you?

Besides Billie?

Ah.

♪ Thinking about my life... ♪

I haven't heard one yet.

♪ Well, I've been wasting time ♪

♪ Thinking about my life ♪

♪ If it will be all right... ♪

Maybe it's you.

♪ Think it will be just fine... ♪

You're losing your touch.

You didn't seem to think so the other night.

♪ 'Cause I got the big bang blues... ♪

I need to use the bathroom.

♪ Around me and you ♪

♪ Do you believe? ♪

♪ Do you believe? ♪

♪ Do you believe? ♪

♪ Oh, do you believe? ♪

♪ Apathy's got mind ♪

♪ Running around like time ♪

♪ Apathy's got mine ♪

♪ Running around like time... ♪

Hey. I was just about to call you.

So you have been thinking about me after all.

What the hell are you doing?

I...

I told you, I don't wanna talk to you.

Are you sure? I heard you gave Sasha the green light.

Why?

So I'd be safely off-limits?

No. No.

You two should be together if you want to be. You know?

It's...

It's none of my business.

Mm-hm.

Really.

I'm fine with it.

Yeah?

Let's see how "fine with it" you are.

- Listen, I think this is a mistake. - Oh, my God.

You should go.

Really?

I don't think that would be very fair to you.

If that's what you want.

Fuck you.

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