Original subtitles

- I feel like I'll say the wrong thing.

- You really can't.

There are no wrong answers here.

- Okay.

His kindness.

He's very kind.

- Something you love and appreciate about Maggie?

- Yeah.

I guess I am...

Well, I love... I love that she's here this morning,

because that means that she's finally admitting

that we need help communicating.

So...

And I...

I appreciate how hard Maggie works.

- How is that a bad thing?

- How is what I said bad?

- Every life on the planet begins as a single cell,

which splits and multiplies over and over again.

Each cell has a purpose.

- Okay, the kids are dressed and ready,

and you're... still not up.

- I can't. I feel awful.

Can you take Luna to day care for me so that I can sleep?

- Yeah. - Thank you.

- And as it forms, internal and external forces

converge on it.

- I know what you're doing.

- What, trying to spend a little more time

with my wife?

- Now, you're gonna have to go home

and then come back at the end of the day.

- Yeah, well, I got the day off, so I got time.

- Two extra trips, more carbon footprint,

killing the planet... Think of our children.

You see?

They've extended the security perimeter,

perfectly safe.

- Signaling to the cell what it will become.

We call this process differentiation.

- Thanks for the ride.

- Love you. - It'll be fine.

- An arm, a bone, a brain...

- Hi, good morning.

- Perfectly safe.

- All cells take a journey

from generalized to specialized.

- Sorry, sorry. I know I'm a little late.

I have roommates, tandem parking.

Anyway, I am here for my plasma donation.

- We don't call it a donation when you're taking $75 for it.

- Fair point.

- They go from nothing to something...

- You're three pounds underweight.

Can't give plasma today.

- Not possible.

I do this every two months. Check your records.

- Check the scale.

Come back when you qualify.

- Or what you could be to what you are.

- Hey. - Good morning.

Do you want to meet up if you have a break,

on-call room on four?

- Sounds fun.

Might take me a while to get there.

I'm in Phoenix.

- Why?

- Because that's where my next job is.

I finished my gig in Seattle. - What?

You never said anything.

I was with you two days ago.

- Well, you always seem more interested

in the on-call room on four than actually talking.

- I...

- I got to go.

Let me know if you're ever in Phoenix.

- I mean, I'd just as soon elope,

but Trey and his family... Super into tradition.

When he asked his brother to be his best man, he cried.

My sister and I hardly speak, and...

- She's trying to say that she needs a maid of honor.

- Oh, I like you so much, but I would be bad at that job.

- Hey, what the hell?

You left me again. - Be on time.

- You know, if your silver-spoon, nepotism ass

isn't in the seat by 7:00, you are out of luck.

- Tough, punctual, efficient... There's your maid of honor.

- What? - Forget it.

- But you said 6:45.

- Yes, because we gave you a fake time

that's 15 minutes before we're actually planning to leave.

- And yet, you still can't make it.

- Well, you could have woken me up.

Does anybody have my back here?

- No.

[whimsical music]

♪

- Oh, okay. Yes, I understand.

And I appreciate it, but...

Okay. Thank you.

- Busy morning?

- How come no one ever mentions that part of the chief job

is actually being a reference for other institutions

who are looking to poach your surgeons?

- Not following.

- Harvard Med, NYU, Heart Center of Chicago,

they're all on my call list

because they are interested in Pierce.

How long has she been working here?

Maybe there is something in her contract

that prohibits her from leaving.

- Leaving? Maggie? - Yeah.

That article has given her a lot of attention.

Look, I don't wanna hold anyone back, but we just lost Grey.

I mean, how do we get Pierce to stay?

- Yeah, I'm on it.

- Oh, great. Thanks. [cell phone ringing]

I'm sorry... yeah, hi.

This is she.

- [coughing]

- So cough and sniffles, bed six.

- Nothing like half a decade of medical training

to use on a runny nose.

- You know, I had a patient who had sniffles.

Turned out he had a CSF leak in his brain, so...

Uh, oh, complex trauma case transferred

from a rural hospital.

Kwan, you wanna see the helipad?

- Oh, yeah. - Just Kwan or...

- Adams, code phlegm.

Bed five needs a Neti pot.

Thank God you're here.

- [coughing]

- Ma'am, please try to keep your mask on.

- Agh, help!

I need a doctor.

- Move. - I saw him first.

- Nope. - No... [gasping]

- Hey, hey.

- Have you been injured?

- Okay, rodeo wreck... Rider in Oregon

got bucked off and stomped on by a 1,000-pound bull.

- It's barbaric... bull riding.

Nothing but testosterone addicts

getting off on torturing animals

because it makes them feel more like a man.

- Huh. Let's go.

Kay, what do we got?

- Georgia Arkins, 16. Crush injuries

from being trampled by a bull.

GCS 15, CT scan shows a retrohepatic hematoma

from an IVC tear,

multiple lumbar burst fractures.

Vital signs are stable.

- She's been given sedatives for transfer,

so she's a little out of it.

Local hospital didn't feel equipped to handle

her complex injuries. - Thank you.

- Can I go again?

The bull, can I go again?

I only got to 5 seconds.

- So anything you want to add

to your initial assessment, Kwan?

Look up for me.

- He's exaggerating.

- Ever since the interview, she's received

half a dozen amazing offers,

including a position in bioartificial heart research.

- So we inject an extracellular matrix

of a pig's heart, which serves as, like, scaffolding,

with human stem cells, that it can grow

cardiac muscle tissue.

- And then we electrically stimulate them to twitch,

cell by cell, until they start to beat together,

essentially as one beating heart.

- It's beautiful.

- Yeah, which means more hearts

for people who need them.

- The research is at the Heart Center of Chicago.

- Oh. Well, that's a fantastic city.

- Yes, it is!

It's the Art Institute and Steppenwolf,

deep dish pizza.

- You can keep those winters, though,

with the wind just ripping in off the lake like that.

- That's what parkas and mittens are for.

- And it's weak pizza, really.

It's just quantity over quality.

- So are you considering it?

- Well, I might like to, but...

- Look, I've already moved across the country

for you once.

And then, when I tried to change my specialty,

also for you, you lost all respect for me.

So...

- Please don't put words into my mouth.

- Those are your words.

You put those words in your own mouth.

[phone beeps]

- [scoffs] I have to go.

- You have to go now? - Can we pick this up?

- God's sake, Maggie, I have waited weeks,

weeks of just tiptoeing around,

going along with this ceasefire that you proposed

until we could get in here and try to fix this.

And now you're on the hot seat, so you just want to walk out?

You know, no, I'm not even that surprised by this.

- I'm on trauma call, Winston.

Please excuse me.

[somber music]

♪

- Hey, what are you doing here?

The kids okay?

- Everyone's fine, except you.

You're not fine.

And you're also not sick.

- I am sick. What are you doing here?

- I took the kids to day care, and I took a personal day,

because your body does this.

- My body does what?

- It aches so that you'll rest because it's learned

that if it aches, you'll stay in bed,

when nothing else works to keep you in bed.

You need a day off, but you're not sick,

which is why you get a latte

and... [clears throat]

The little doughnuts with the pink frosting.

[chuckles]

- You took the day off?

- Yeah, I figured you could use the company.

Plus, after I eat three boxes of these, I'm no good at work.

- You ate three boxes?

- No, but I'm about to.

You might want to look away.

- [laughs]

- I'm just gonna go.

- [laughing] No.

- Ow! - Any feeling of nausea?

- [groans] Ah, not really.

Is there anything you can do about the pain?

It feels like someone's dicing my intestines.

- We'll take care of that for you in a moment.

But I need to finish this physical exam

before we can... - Look, I came here

because Grey-Sloan's supposed to be the best.

So please, you gotta help me.

- It could be a positive McBurney sign.

- Which could be caused by...

- Appendicitis. - Diverticulitis.

- Yo! What the hell?

- I was seeing if the pain was exacerbated

by jostling movements.

- Can we wait to play school

until I'm not in agony?

- Let's get him comfortable.

We'll send him up for the basic labs,

and then let's take him up to CT for some scans.

- Did I hear correctly, a bull?

- T-bird. He's feisty.

I just didn't get out over his front end in time.

- When T-bird trampled over Georgia,

he crushed her liver and likely tore her IVC.

There's a big hematoma in the retrohepatic space,

which it looks contained for now, stable HNH.

- She's got unstable T10 through L3 burst fractures.

- Please don't tell my parents.

They freak out whenever stuff like this happens.

- This has happened before?

- I had a huge cut on my back, a broken wrist, a broken leg.

Oh, and I have this massive scar.

- Whoa, whoa! - Push two of midazolam.

- Okay, this burst L3 fracture is too unstable.

Without immediate surgery, we're talking about paralysis.

Once Maggie goes in and repairs the IVC,

I will stabilize the spine.

- I don't think I should go in.

- There's a massive hematoma.

- And it's sitting in a minefield.

The hematoma is stable for now.

But you should go in and repair the spine,

and I will be there to monitor her.

Just use a posterior approach to avoid rupturing it.

- What if it happens anyway?

- Then we'll flip her,

and I will control the bleeding.

- No, I'm not sure I should go in.

- If you don't, she never walks again.

- Are Georgia's parents here?

- Look. All I need is antibiotics.

It'll clear up in a few days or so.

- Maybe.

But I am hearing some wheezing in the left lung.

- [coughs] - Okay.

We should get a chest X-ray, make sure

we're not looking at pneumonia.

- No. No chest X-ray.

- There's no discomfort involved.

- Until the bill comes.

- When my husband died, I was lucky enough

to find work in a bookstore.

It's lovely.

The owner is kind, but low wages and no...

[coughs] No benefits.

- Without the X-ray, I can't tell

how serious this is, so...

- I can hardly afford antibiotics.

Anything else is out of the question.

- Look, I'll get you the antibiotics,

but just stay here.

Okay? I'll be right back.

- Dr. Sutton, Dr. Tracy,

psych to recovery.

Dr. Sutton to recovery.

- He didn't even tell me he was leaving.

He insinuated that I wouldn't care

because I only cared about the sex.

I didn't use him for sex.

He used me for sex, and then he left.

I'm the victim here.

- You're the doctor. He's the nurse.

You've got all the power.

- You clearly don't understand gay male culture.

He's hotter.

He has all the power.

- Doesn't sound like he felt that way.

- Why aren't you sad for me?

I'm the nice guy who, once again, got left.

- Well, the interns who have come in here

after working and being yelled at for 16 hours

definitely don't feel like you're the nice guy.

- I don't yell!

That wasn't yelling.

That was loud talking.

I'm nice.

- I love you. I mean it.

- If the hematoma ruptures while you're fixing the spine,

she could die.

- But if it doesn't rupture,

it could heal on its own? - That's right.

- The safest option is to just monitor Georgia in the ICU.

- She may not walk again, but she would be alive.

- Sounds like this thing could rupture any time.

I mean, hell, it could be rupturing right now.

- Cody... [swallows] She...

- He's not wrong.

[pensive music]

♪

- Do the spinal surgery.

- Sir, I wanna make sure that you understand...

- We do.

Save our daughter's ability to ride.

- No stranding, appendix looks normal.

No evidence of colitis.

- That's an awfully quick assessment, Adams.

You know, scans are like a piece of art,

a still life, say.

Maybe you first look at it and you shrug.

Looks like a pear, or tulip.

But you sit with it for a while,

learn to open up your mind,

and maybe it might guide your eye

to something that the artist wants you to see.

- Hold up.

It turns out Seth's been to five different Seattle ERs

in the past three weeks,

all discharged with a script for controlled pain meds.

- Seattle Pres, two nights, Pacific Gen, one,

St. Anne's, two hours. - Okay.

I get what you're implying.

- And according to their records,

you have a history of drug use

that you didn't bother to tell us about.

We can't help you if you're not telling the truth.

- Oh, my God. I... I don't have...

[grunts]

Back in the day, I did Adderall to stay up.

I'm a private equity analyst.

All-nighters go with the territory

when you're starting out.

But I haven't done it in years.

And I didn't tell you because I didn't want you

to write me off like all those other hospitals.

- We're not writing you off.

Addiction is a disease.

- It's a disease I don't have.

- And your scans are clean.

And I got on the phone with colleagues

of those other hospitals,

who also found nothing on your scans.

- Maybe they didn't sit long enough with the scans.

- These aren't interns, Adams.

These are world-class surgeons

with decades of experience.

- So you're just gonna kick me out on the street

like everyone else?

- No, we are gonna exercise our due diligence

and take extra tests,

and if they show nothing, then we will discharge you

with a referral to an addiction specialist.

- I should never have admitted I ever used drugs.

You screw up once, you're a screw-up forever.

- She's about prepped and ready.

Why didn't you tell me about all the job offers?

- Offers come in every time I publish.

Happens to everyone. - Not like this.

Look, it doesn't matter where you are, right?

I mean, it matters what you're doing.

If you just ask Teddy or Richard

for whatever you need research-wise,

they will get it for you.

You don't have to move to do your next big thing.

Meredith and I managed to pull off

the Parkinson's procedure right down the hall.

- She's ready.

- All right.

- So when you all told me about those 8:30

surgical study sessions, what time were they really?

What do you think

about Chilaiditi syndrome for Seth?

- Thinking it's usually associated

with ascitic and cirrhotic patients.

Also, we would have seen it in the scans.

And we have our answer.

All those tests came back clean, except his urinalysis,

which is positive for opiates.

- Because all those other hospitals gave him meds.

- Webber said to discharge him.

I'm gonna discharge him.

- Tessa Hobbes.

- Why would you bring up Tessa? You know that still hurts.

- Because my gut told me that we should have taken her

straight to the OR.

You heard me say it, but I didn't fight for it.

And now my gut's saying that Seth's telling the truth.

- Nothing I've seen makes me think Webber's wrong.

- Yeah, but do you think there might be

a chance that I'm right?

I mean, I've always had your back.

Could you at least have mine?

- I'm already on my second residency.

- He's not gonna fire us.

- Have suction ready.

- Blood pressure's steady.

- Chief, I have a wheezing 60-year-old patient in the ER,

possible pneumonia.

She needs a chest X-ray and a nebulizer treatment,

but can't afford it. Can we do it pro bono?

- You'll have to fill out the forms with accounting.

They're gonna want to confirm her income

and make sure that she qualifies.

It may take a day or so.

- But she needs to be treated now.

- If we break the rules for one patient,

it's not fair for the others.

- [scoffs]

I was eating doughnuts from the trash

because I need to gain weight in order to be eligible

to donate my plasma because I am broke.

So is my patient.

I don't need your help,

and I am not looking for handouts.

I just want to take care of my patient.

- I'm sorry.

You have to go through the proper channels.

Yasuda, I have protein bars in my office.

You're welcome to them any time.

- Removing the lamina.

Can't stop thinking about that father.

I'm reconstructing a spine just to have her go back out there

and wreck it all over again.

- Yeah, lots of parents

live out their fantasies through their kids.

- So her last shock panel showed a hemoglobin of 11.

So the bleed is stable.

Just be careful with your instrumentation.

- I'm not sure you hovering is gonna make things

go more smoothly.

- How many times have we fixed up a pro football player

just so he can go back out in the field in the hopes

of making the playoffs?

- Don't get me started on football.

- Except rodeo is the only gig

with a poor animal out there against their will.

It's cruel. - Can we keep

all nonessential chatter to a minimum?

Georgia has a giant bleed hanging over her

that could burst in any second.

- Pedicle screw, please.

- I think it's a connection. I think...

- Adams, Griffith!

- Is everything okay, Dr. Schmidt?

- Just checking in on how you two are doing.

How's life?

What's up?

- I don't understand.

- What are you working on?

- Okay, we... we know Webber said to discharge him.

But we really think

that there's something more to this patient.

And if we could just have a little more time

to study his case, we can figure it out.

- Okay. No.

You're interns.

It doesn't matter what you think.

If you can't be trusted to follow instructions,

then you can't be trusted in the OR.

Discharge the patient.

And never question Dr. Webber ever again.

[whimsical music]

♪

- I should probably go to work and check on Tia.

- Tia and her baby are both okay.

I've checked.

A car drove into human beings

and tried to kill you and your friends.

You've earned a day off.

- Why is it so hard for me to rest?

- [scoffs] How am I supposed to know that?

- Because you knew that I wasn't sick

before I even knew that I wasn't sick.

- I've known you a long time.

You notice things about somebody

when you've known them a long time.

- You knew what my favorite doughnuts were.

- Same answer.

- So why is it so hard for me to rest?

You don't have a theory?

- [laughs] I could tell you why I think

it's hard for me to rest.

Would that help?

- Yes, please.

- Well, I was a pretty happy go-lucky kid.

I got cancer, and my parents started to fight all the time.

And I was sick, stuck in bed, listening to my parents fight

through the walls.

So I think I associate rest with misery.

- I don't think that's it.

- Okay.

You know me better than I know me.

- I've known you a long time,

and when you've known someone a long time,

you notice things.

- So what do you think it is?

- I think you only have trouble resting

when you're not taking care of somebody else.

You'll lay around all day with a baby on your chest

if that baby needs you.

You lay in bed with me with doughnuts if I need you.

And when you got cancer

and your parents started fighting,

you started to take care of them

so they wouldn't split up.

You learned to take emotional care

of the people who are supposed to be taking care of you.

And that's why it's hard for you to rest

when you're by yourself.

You don't feel safe when you're not

taking care of somebody else.

That makes you anxious.

[soft music]

♪

- And I think you can't rest

because you never had anyone to take care of you.

So you stayed busy all the time

taking care of yourself.

And when you're still, you feel that pain.

- I need a nap.

- Want me to go?

- No.

That feels nice.

- Harborview Med, last Tuesday, 2311, nothing.

- If Webber or Schmidt finds us, we're fired.

- Yeah, well...

- You'd think that'd be annoying.

- It clears my mind, helps me unwind.

You have anything like that?

- Ice skating.

What? - [laughs]

I just... I wasn't expecting that.

- Well, you don't know everything about me.

- True.

I never pictured you as the type

to have a big fancy wedding or matching dresses.

- I don't want either.

I want the marriage, but not the pomp and circumstance.

- Not even a little pomp, like meat on a stick

or chucking a bouquet at your girls, group pics?

- I truly hate you.

I think it's sweet that Trey wants

to create a moment in our lives

that we're gonna remember forever.

But he's a romantic.

Even when we're just out getting pizza,

he's like, "I wish I could freeze this moment forever."

- Oh, wait. Wait. Wait.

That's it.

Moments... that's..

Okay.

These scans... They're not works of art.

They're... they're moments.

They're frozen moments in time.

- Oh, good. Glad we cleared that up.

- Okay, look. Here we go.

There and there...

- Do you know where they came up with the eight seconds

as the time the rider has to stay on the bull?

It's because the bull starts to lose its strength

to fight back and they stop bucking.

The official line is that it's for the safety of the animals,

but it's really because they become so weakened

that we stop being entertained.

[machines beeping]

- BP's dropping.

- Pierce, is that what I think it is?

- She's bleeding out.

- The hematoma ruptured. Stop the fusion.

We need to flip her. - Her spine is exposed.

- It doesn't matter.

Pack it and throw some ioban on it.

Hang 2 units of blood.

Prep for an x-flap and a sternotomy.

Every second counts here, people.

Until we get this bleed stopped,

this is my OR.

[heart monitors beeping]

[somber music]

♪

- Okay. This is it.

When we get in there, Kwan, you're gonna alternate

cardiac massage with Millin.

Scalpel.

Okay, Georgia, here we go.

- Scalpel.

- ♪ I've been looking for a sign ♪

♪ Now I see a shining light

- Get the saw ready.

- Starting pressors.

- ♪ Set me free

♪

[drill buzzing]

♪

- Send a TEG.

♪

- She's becoming more acidotic.

- We can't lose her.

- I need more suction.

- Still no pulse.

- ♪ Head under water and I can't breathe ♪

♪

♪ Pull me up 'cause I'm too deep ♪

♪ I've been looking for a sign ♪

♪ Now I see a shining light

♪ Oh won't somebody come and set me free ♪

- Okay, I've got the infrahepatic IVC

and Pringle. Lap pads.

- I've got the cava and the pericardium.

- Millin, switch with Kwan.

- We've maxed out on her pressors.

- Pickups? - Still no pulse.

- I feel the heart. I'm there.

- I see the hepatic vein injury.

♪

[heart monitor beeping rapidly]

Ligating, push epi.

- Packing the retrohepatic space.

- Come on, Georgia.

- ♪ Set me free

- [coughs] The nurse brought the antibiotics

and the inhaler. I'm off to my shift.

- Please don't go before getting an X-ray

and the nebulizer treatment.

We could do it pro bono,

but we just need to fill these forms out.

- If I miss work, I don't get paid.

And if I don't get paid...

- You can't pay your bills. I get it.

- No... - But...

- No, you don't.

You're a doctor with a cushy salary.

- Well, I am a surgical intern.

My salary is government funded, and it is not enough

to keep me from drowning in loans.

Between undergrad and med school,

I owe more than two grand a month.

That doesn't even account for what I send to my parents

to help them with their mortgage payment

because they co-signed all of my loans.

I literally sell my blood in order to get by.

And if I thought that I had pneumonia that could lead

to sepsis and respiratory failure

that could prove fatal if left untreated,

or, at the very least,

keep me out of work for eight weeks,

I would get the X-ray and the treatment.

And when the bill came, I would pay the bare minimum.

And if it went to the collection agencies,

I would pay them the bare minimum too.

And it might be a huge, long, pain in the ass,

but I would be alive.

- Where do I go for the chest X-ray?

- Pick it up, guys, a little faster.

- You know what they called me when I was chief resident?

The Nazi.

- That is wildly inappropriate...

- Yes. - On so many levels.

- I mean, I wasn't a tough child,

not in the obvious ways.

I was sensitive all through high school

and undergrad and med school.

So as a resident, even more so as chief resident,

I thought I had to overcompensate.

And for a while, I became someone

people didn't like very much.

- And what did you do?

- Well, I realized that my idea of myself

had come out of sync with who I had become.

Schmidt, you are chief resident now.

You are no longer an underdog.

It's time for you to stop seeing yourself that way.

- You're saying I shouldn't demand

excellence from the interns?

- I'm saying there's many ways to do that.

And the one that will work best for you

is likely the one that lets you be you.

I mean, you said you want us to be the vagina of the program

because vaginas are so strong.

Well, vaginas also bring pleasure.

They bring joy, bring life.

You got to be the whole vagina, Schmidt, not just the muscle.

- It's like we were staring at a single cell of film

and trying to watch a movie.

We have to look at all the scans

in order to see if they tell a story.

Okay, look... Look here, four to five.

There's a slight thickening in the cecal wall here.

Yeah? And then six and seven...

- No more thickening, but mild fat stranding.

- Yeah.

And then eight, nine, ten, the pattern reappears.

The flare-ups come and go,

but the CT scans only capture one moment in time.

Now our little film tells a different story.

I mean, there's gotta be something in there,

a foreign object causing these reactions.

- Like a fish bone, maybe, or a piece of cartilage

that wasn't digested properly?

- You want to tell me why the patient

I told you to discharge hours ago is still stuck in my ER?

- So she's gonna be okay?

- Uh, yeah.

Georgia did well under the circumstances,

against all odds.

- But we would like to speak with you

about the bull riding.

- I should wait for my husband.

- We would like to have a minute with just you.

- Oh.

Georgia's father, her grandfather, her uncles...

They are all champion riders.

But Cody never wanted Georgia to go near a bull.

Every Christmas, he would give her

a dollhouse, ballet slippers, a soccer ball.

She wouldn't touch them.

She wanted boots, spurs, a saddle.

Cody thought when she took her first spill,

she'd lose interest, but...

but when she got laid up with a crushed trachea,

we said no more.

Guess what? She wouldn't eat,

wouldn't speak, couldn't sleep.

The light in her eyes was just gone.

- To keep doing this will very likely kill her.

- You think I don't worry about that

every single day of my life?

But to take her dream away from her...

That would for sure kill her.

Excuse me.

I'm gonna go find my husband.

- Nothing is harder than parenting,

but you have to be the parent.

- Would it have worked on you

when you were a teenager doing hard drugs,

risking your life?

Was your mom able to stop you?

- I was using drugs to mask

some very real pain in my life.

- Maybe it's the same for Georgia.

Maybe she's masking the pain of having found

her one true passion

and hearing everyone around her

tell her that she is selfish for chasing it.

- [coughing]

- Oh, no, no, no, no. Georgia, no.

- She's pulling the tube out.

- Increase her O2 and draw an ABG.

Hey.

- Georgia, you're okay. Just take a breath.

- Georgia, calm down. I need you to put this mask on.

Your body needs additional oxygen.

- I've had kids self-extubate before.

Instinct and adrenaline kick in.

- How long... How long will it take?

- You will be up and walking in four to six weeks.

- Ride.

- Georgia, going back to rodeo would be a mistake.

Most people do not survive the surgery

that Dr. Pierce just did.

- I'm not most people!

Would you be saying the same thing if I was a guy?

- Georgia, I'm not like most people either.

I was really good at something when I was your age too.

I skipped grades, I won prizes,

and everybody thought it was my parents

that were pushing me, but it was me.

It was all me.

So I get your focus.

I get your passion.

And I certainly get what it's like to be

a girl in an all-guys' world.

Maybe you'll ride again someday.

But a few hours ago, you were almost dead and paralyzed.

Stop fighting us and let us save the possibility

of your future.

- There's the ileocecal valve.

- I hope we didn't just put a tube

into a patient for no reason.

- Whoa, whoa, what's that in the distal ileum?

- Move the camera down and left.

- There! - Is that a...

- Toothpick. I'll be damned.

- Oh, my God.

How did it not shred his esophagus on the way down?

- Well, it perfed the bowel.

Then it impacted into the intestinal wall,

where it hid from the scanner's radar.

Adams, what's the game plan?

- Use the endoscopy forceps to fish it out carefully.

- Being careful not to break it and leave a piece behind

that could cause an abscess later.

- All right, hold it steady.

- Will this take away all of this pain?

- It absolutely will.

Almost there.

Incredible save, Adams.

Incredible save.

- Have I mentioned that I had my hand

on an actual beating heart?

- Only about six times.

- But hey, I heard you found a bobby pin in some guy's ass

or something, so also cool.

- I convinced a patient to get a chest X-ray.

- Hey, congratulations, Adams.

Yasuda's day was sadder than yours.

- Yeah.

- Hey, thanks for everything today.

If you need anything, I got your back.

- I do need something.

I know this might be weird,

and if it's still hard for you, you can say no.

But you know me better than anyone here,

better than anyone at my old program, actually.

And I could really use a friend to help me get through this.

[soft music]

I'm asking you to be my man of honor.

♪

- Yeah, of course.

It'd be an honor.

- Thank you.

- Hey, everyone,

I want you to know I heard you all did

some incredible work today.

And so, if you're up for it, I would like to invite

you all out for drinks.

[awkward music]

I'm actually serious.

- Uh, oh. - So just, you know,

meet me at Joe's.

♪

- Free drinks. - Yeah.

[upbeat music playing]

- Any chance you need another bartender?

- When would you sleep?

- I'd figure it out.

- Uh, yeah, yeah.

The manager is hiring for the late shift.

I can put in a good word.

- Thank you.

- Okay, people, this is my treat.

- Thank God.

- Yay, thank you. - You're welcome.

- Thank you.

- Thanks, Dr. Schmidt.

- Cheers. - Yeah.

- Welcome.

- Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

- Mm. - Oh.

- Oh.

- Chaser? - Mm-hmm.

- What are you, her babysitter?

- Man of honor, actually.

- Oh, thank God.

I didn't wanna have to carry around those blood vials.

You mix them together,

and you pour them out at the altar.

- Why do you think a maid of honor does that?

- My mom did it at my uncle's wedding.

- I cannot overstate how not normal that is.

- Whatever. I'm going to order food.

Anyone else?

- Can you get me some fries?

- I'm starving.

- So when's the wedding? - Next month.

But it's in town so no one has to travel.

And I don't need any extra time off.

Trey is gonna take care of most of the logistics,

so you won't... - Griffin, I...

I was just asking.

- Sorry, yeah. - That's okay.

- Next month. - Okay.

- Wanna get out of here?

- I can't.

We said no feelings, and unfortunately,

I find your staunch support of animal rights...

hot.

- Okay.

What if I have no feelings?

- That works.

♪

- You wanna pick up takeout?

I kind of feel like Italian.

- I already ordered, Chang's Garden.

- Right, of course you decided.

- Stop.

Stop. I need to look at you

when I say this.

- Okay.

- You invited me to dinner with your family,

and then you abandoned me when things got tough.

- What? When?

- The first time that I met your family,

your father showed up, and you became unhappy,

and then you logged off, and you left me there.

My mother always used to quote Maya Angelou.

She used to say, "When someone shows you who they are,

believe them the first time."

Why didn't I believe you the first time?

You showed me who you were,

and I just didn't wanna see it.

- And who am I? - You're a person who retreats.

When the going gets tough, you retreat.

You quit. You disappear.

You protect yourself, no matter what it costs anybody else.

- You're the one thinking of taking a job in Chicago.

- A job in Chicago is nothing, Winston.

Marriages can easily survive a job in Chicago.

But you don't seem to want us to survive.

You just seem to want to punish me with your absence.

- I'm right here! - But you're not.

You're not.

You took your love, and you retreated.

You disappeared inside yourself.

When the going got tough, you protected yourself,

no matter what it cost anybody else.

I am right here.

You are gone.

You couldn't even think of something nice to say

about me this morning.

Even when you wanted to quit cardio,

supposedly to save our marriage,

that was you quitting.

That was you retreating.

That was you giving up your gift

so that you could avoid direct conflict,

and that is what I don't respect.

It isn't your heart, Winston, it's your cowardice.

- Oh, wow, really, Maggie?

- And the pizza in Chicago is the best in the world.

So I'm gonna go there.

And I'm gonna take my extraordinary passion,

and I'm going to use it to build hearts

that will save thousands of lives.

And you can stay here, and you can pretend

like it was you who was abandoned,

but we both know the truth.

- At a cellular level, we are made of forks in the road.

A generalized cell is born, and it splits and splits,

not having much choice in the matter.

Eventually, it's a body.

Eventually, it's you...

- Come here, Scout. - Out in the world.

- He was down.

How are you feeling?

[moody music]

- I...

I feel...

- Better?

- ♪ If we survive

- Yes, better.

I feel better.

- Hear that, Scout?

She feels better. Whoo-hoo!

- So maybe you are who you are.

- All right, can you say whoo-hoo?

- Maybe you can't choose who you love or what you want

any more than a cell can choose to be

a liver, a lung, a heart.

But cells only take you so far.

- Rough day?

- Oh, thank you.

Oh, it was humbling.

I missed a diagnosis and almost lost a patient.

- But?

- I was bailed out by a Shepherd.

- Hmm. - You?

- I'm afraid I might be losing another sister.

- In the end, you create yourself.

And your life is the life you've made.

- ♪ But you hold your breath

♪ If we survive

- What the...

Hey! Hey!

- ♪ If we survive

- Hey! What the...

Oh, no. - Ben?

Ben, what's going on?

- ♪ I'll look for you

- Miranda.

- ♪ On the other side

♪

- We are not fine, Miranda.

♪

- But no one said it would be easy.

- ♪ On the other side