Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Hello, Gotham, l'm home!

MAN 1 : Hello, Ronnie! MAN 2: Ronnie!

WOMAN: Veronica, darling, you look smashing.

How did you like the rain forest?

The food was appalling, the accommodations were nonexistent

and the bugs were the size of my trust fund.

(ALL LAUGHING)

But seriously, it's important we all do our part

to preserve those precious resources.

-MAN: Hear, hear. -(pEopLE cHAnERINc)

Look at them, celebrating without a care in the world.

l think it's great that Veronica's finally

doing something worthwhile with her money.

l'm sorry, Bruce.

The securities business has been kind of rough lately.

Lot of late hours, you know.

Seems all l do is worry about how to get my company through one more day.

Worries, Hayden? l have the cure for that.

l'm a little old for dolls, don't you think?

Not these dolls.

They're Worry Men from Central America.

Legends say you tell them your problems,

then put them under your pillow at night.

They'll do your worrying for you while you sleep.

And when you wake up, poof, your problems are gone.

Oh, come on, Ronnie.

You're the last one l'd think would fall for some ancient tribal hoodoo.

Don't be so smug, Brucie.

When l was in the jungle, l saw some things you'd never believe.

And l tell you, l haven't had a bad night's sleep since my trip.

Well, sounds great to me.

ln fact, the little darlings work their magic For me all day long.

See, aren't they precious?

-l iust couldn't get along without them. -Thanks for everything, Ron.

But l've got a few more rounds to make.

(SCoFFS)

lf ever someone led a worry-free life, it's you, Bruce Wayne.

l've got one for everybody.

BATMAN: Party crasher.

(GASPS)

Nasty toy.

Ready to call it a night?

(GRoANS)

(GRUNTS)

(STRUGGLING)

(PEoPLE GASPING)

-(PEOPLE SCREAMING) -Oh, my heavens!

(GRUNTING)

(PEoPLE SCREAMING)

(PEoPLE CLAMoRING)

BRUCE: Tell me, Alfred.

What's an ancient Mayan witch doctor doing on a Gotham skyscraper?

This isn't one of those Riddler questions, is it?

No, but it's just as confusing.

There's someone new in town using Mayan tribal gimmicks in his crimes.

-Blowguns, stone weapons. -Voodoo dolls?

That's some party favor from Veronica's party.

They're supposed to take away your worries while you sleep.

lmagine that.

What some overworked souls won't do to get a good night's rest.

Hmm.

Still, every little bit helps.

l tell you, child, l handle all sorts of things For Mr. Wayne,

but this one really takes the cake.

(WHISTLING)

-Oh, Morning, Dana. -Oh, l gotta go. Bye-bye.

(BRUCE HUMMING)

Sometimes l forget how beautiful Gotham can be.

You're in fine spirits, l must say.

A good night's sleep and l'm ready to take on the world.

You got eveything all right?

Yes, l followed your message to the letter.

-But l can't help wondering what- -Thank you.

(WHISTLING)

l know it's your company, Mr. Wayne, but _20 million, man.

-That's a lot of money. -Yes, it is. What's your point?

Well, l'd sure Feel uncomfortable walking around with all that cash

in a tiny little briefcase.

Dana, l'm sory. l'm not following this. What cash? What brie Fcase?

The _20 million you told me to put in a briefcase for you.

You're not making any sense.

The _20 million l told you to put in a briefcase?

You called me from your car, gave me your account number,

told me to transfer _10 million in cash and... (GASPS)

(GASPS)

Hey!

_20 million of my money in that case?

l hope you're not going to take it out of my salary.

(INDISTINCT CHMER)

__#�f2#t,_, '___�__ _gJ_ _R__g\code(0106)j_ ___?__ ___ _!_M__/,g_

since this morning, Mr. Sloane.

lf it wasn't you, then who?

(STAMMERS) But l don't know, l tellyou. I don't know. Why wou)d l do �t? Why?

That was the scene today as broker Hayden Sloane was arrested

on charges oF embezzlement.

Sloane joins the growing list ofwealthy Gothamites who, for reasons unknown,

have piIFered the�r own companies for a combined total of _100 m�lI�on.

Unbelievable.

And you have no clue how this could have happened?

l do now. Each oF us was a guest at Veronica Vreeland's party.

lf there are answers, she's got them.

(VERoNICA HUMMING)

(GRoANS)

BATMAN: Miss Vreeland.

Huh?

Batman?

Let me help you with your bag.

No, you stay back.

This is mine, you hear? Mine.

(GRoANS)

l know it's yours. What were you planning to do with it?

l have to throw it overboard because...

Because...

Excuse me, l don't feel very well.

Care to explain these?

(GASPS)

Myjewels! How did they get here?

-Don't you remember? -No, everything's a blank. l...

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

Leave him alone, you swine!

Please?

My therapist is never going to believe this.

And l thought you were supposed to take away my worries.

Hmm.

Well, say goodbye, you troublesome little trinkets.

Wait. These dolls. Where did you get them?

From a craftsman at a small village. A funny little man in a giant straw hat.

An Englishman?

Why, yes.

And he suggested giving the dolls to your society friends.

What, are you psychic, too?

Just picking up on the pattern.

Sir, you have no idea how terrible l feel to have played a part in this.

Neither you nor Veronica could have known that hidden within each doll

was a tiny microchip designed to stimulate a sleeper's brainwaves

and make them susceptible to hypnotic suggestion.

Creating a radio receiver of sorts out of an entranced human mind?

Exactly.

And who knows how to warp the human mind better

than Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter?

MA0 _ATTfR: ~'O Frabjous day, callooh, callay# he chortled in his joy."

lt's sheer brilliance.

A wonderland of treasures

all willingly donated by Gotham's simpering elite.

Ah.

And now come the Famous Vreeland jewels to dance at my heels.

What? How dare you return empty-handed?

Forgive us, sir. But Batman showed up, and-

Batman?

You insufferable fools.

You can't even handle one man dressed up like a flying mouse?

(GRUNTS)

Oh, and what's this? What's this?

You've graciously left part of your cloak behind

as Batman's invitation to waltz right into our midst.

(EXCLAIMS)

And that's iust what he'll do, won't he?

Of course he will.

And far be it for me to disappoint him when he arrives.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

ALFRED: _s you predicted, sir, the computer has identified

this scrap oFartificial Fur as a type used in theatr�cal productions,

which would make its most probable source of origin-

The Great Eastern Costume Company.

lt's been closed for years,

making it a perfect hideout for the Mad Hatter.

MAD HATTER: l knewyou were com�ng, so I thought

l'd have some of the old chaps 'round to make you feel at home.

(GIGGLES)

-How is Batman l�ke a donut shop? -(cuN cocKs)

-They're both Filled w�th holes. -(cRuNrs)

(LAUGHS)

(GRoANS)

(EXHALES)

Whoops.

Should have warned you, old boy.

That lot's real.

(GRUNTING AND STRUGGLING)

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

(GRoANS)

Delightful. Oh, quite a bonus to add to my already-substantial collection.

You disappoint me, Tetch.

For all your brilliance, you've become just another thieF.

You make it sound so common.

Well, actually, Batman,

you'll be happy to know you're witnessing my retirement from crime.

See, after my recent release from Arkham,

l vowed to leave Gotham and my wicked ways behind me.

Perhaps buy a little island somewhere and open a sunbonnet shop.

But islands, even little ones, cost money.

(SNIFFLING) Lots of money.

And then l heard of Ms. Vreeland's

well-publicized trek into the rain forest.

Yes, l realized at once she'd be the perfect unwitting partner in my scheme.

lnvest�ng what limited Funds l had,

l managed to Follow dear Ronnie into the forest

where, at a small native village, she made the acquaintance

of my speciaIIy-created Worry Men.

Though, l can't take complete credit.

l provided the microcircuitry, oF course,

but my good friend here supplied the dolls.

Can you believe it?

He was just an honest native craftsman

until l changed his mind about helping me.

Those others are riffraff culled out of various Gotham street gangs.

Gutter trash oF no great importance.

So, as this is my Farewell to crime,

l think l'll take a souvenir to mark the occasion.

(GRoANS)

No matter. l have a better way to remove that nasty old cowl.

Stop! You don't know what you're doing.

(ALARM BLARING)

(GRoANING)

Oh, that noise!

What's going on?

How did l get here?

Oh, you're a clever one.

But l will not be denied. As the great Lewis Carroll said,

''One, two, one, two,

''and through and through, the vorpal blade went snicker-snack.

''He left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back.''

(CACKLING)

No!

Stop! l command you.

So, we're gutter trash, are we?

Who's calling the shots now?

-Stop! -JAGUAR SHAMAN: Yes. Stop.

Leave him to the police.

Thank you. Thank you, you generous, Forgiving, noble fool.

Stand back, all of you.

l'm getting out. But not before l sew up one last loose end.

What?

(GASPS)

BRUCE: Tomorrow this all goes back to the company.

Minus the cost of a plane ticket home for our kidnapped doll maker.

l must say, after all the Hatter put him through,

that fellow showed remarkable restraint.

When everything was said and done,

all the shaman really wanted was to go home.

In fact, l hear he even sent the Hatter a farewell gi_.

(GRoANS)

BRUCE: Someth�ng to ensure that Jervis Teteh

only dreams oFa good, honest life from now on.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

English - SDH