Original subtitles

Hey, sweetheart? Lets go

shut up, don't bother me.

Shut up bitch.

We'll be riding in that car.

Okay then, let's go.

Oh, I haven't done anything.

Shut your mouth and get your ass in that car.

Oh, dumb dick.

Shut your mouth.

Let's go sweetheart.

Oh, I'm not going anywhere.

Shut your mouth and get your ass in that car

oh, you picked the wrong bitch.

Shut up bitch.

You are under arrest.

But I haven't..

Don't say a word.

Get in the car. Get in the car!

Sweetheart, let's go.

Let's go bitch!

What are you doing!

Put that paper down, we all know you can't read.

Just cool it, swampo. I'm looking for a job.

Sick and tired of all this hassle.

All right.

What do you feel lady?

Please, please.

I'll do anything. Anything you want.

Move your ass in there.

Oh, why don't you move my ass in there?

Are we doing this?

Come on I've talked to the girls about this before.

You'll love it.

Oh, it's so large, you big stud. Fuck us all.

Come on baby

Move out the way, Harry.

Sergeant. Sergeant!

Yeah, how are you, Harry?

Does this look like Harry, sergeant?

Hey, what the hell is going on?

You're going to fuck me, sergeant.

Me?

Don't come any closer.

Ah, you're not scared of a little baby pussy,

are you now, sergeant?

Come on baby, oh!

Oh, missing out on the two over in the corner there.

Think I might have to keep you girls here forever.

Where would you like to shoot me, in my warm pussy?

How about my mouth?

Oh no no no.

You don't need no help, sergeant.

Can you simply stop it.

Listen, go back to your phone before I could trash it.

What the hell is so funny?

I just discovered your problem.

You must prefer boys.

Now you bitch.

Oh wouldn't leave without me.

What, what?

- Help me, help me. - What?

Help me please - I will. What

a juvenile delinquent stood in front of your joy,

your joy and took my place

yeah lady, go out this point

Lady, you got to fill out the form

I can't?

What is it now?

I need pants.

You want pants, here take them.

This strange wasn't so, for a second, I have my own pants.

Hello.

Please help me, someone is breaking into my house.

I hear noises downstairs. What do I do?

I don't know, stick cotton in your ears.

Please policeman. I've finished already.

You have now.

What did you say?

Nothing, nothing. We'll call you if we find it.

Don't call after nine. My son go to sleep at nine.

We won't, we won't. Go home.

Already?

You'd require this.

Mr. policeman, I think I hear you starting wobbling

from here. You must take a bravo

no

Oh, what happened? Come on, come in.

I think I am good.

Oh, we can't forget this.

Yeah, that was cute.

Come on, sugar.

Come on. Get steady. Go for it.

Bye.

Bye bye

Come back here you, pack of rotten punks!

Bye.

Hey, I found it. I found it.

What?

I found it. I got it. Look, right here.

Say, what's a nice girl like you doing driving a taxi?

Oh, I do other things.

Really? Like what?

Thank you. You can see my little baggy thing.

I'm a famous comedian, you know.

No, really, don't you recognize me?

I was on TV the other night.

Really?

Mmh. I was sitting right on top of it.

No, I really am a stand-up comedian.

A producer even offered a job the other day.

He did?

Yeah. When I asked how big it was he said,

"about that big"

I'm tired of people thinking that I'm a sex object.

I just want people to like me for my head.

I would like to like you for your head little girl.

Okay guy, I understand you got about

4,000 shares of na stock I really want to get hold of it.

Wow, you have a great cock, what a big one.

You really dig it?

You wanna get a free bath in this?

Oh yeah.

I can't believe it, the window is getting fogged.

There go the windshield wipers.

Hey girls, come here.

Hi, Tony.

How have you been?

Hey, it's good to see you.

I think it has been for some time.

Yeah, big Harry has been looking all over town for you.

I want to show you something.

Meet me around the corner.

You see this? Just a few hours work.

I'm telling you guys are fools

for pounding that pavement out there.

Awesome.

We're going to get us some cash.

Hiya, Teddy.

Hey, it's after hours, what the hell are you doing

in my apartment?

We just want to know how many job openings you have.

What kind of work you're working for?

Cabbies, what else?

I don't know what I can do with all of you.

If you give us a chance,

we'll show you what you can do with all of us.

Just relax and we'll take care of everything.

Look at that.

Looks nice. He's great to have for a boss

so you girls want a job, huh?

Come on, Teddy, you can screw the cat.

This cock tastes so good

Sure we can be good cabbies.

How's it feel, Teddy?

Come on, girls, we have to convince him that

we are going to be good cab drivers.

What we can do with this business.

How's this, Teddy?

All right.

Come on, Teddy.

Fuck him, Toni.

Are you good?

Fuck her, Teddy.

That's great, girls. This ought to change his mind.

Oh, yeah. Most definitely.

Oh, come on, Teddy. You can do it.

You know you can get us all in.

I don't know.

You're doing a good job of it right now.

That feels good.

Oh, Teddy!

Fuck him, Toni. Fuck him.

Look at that, Teddy. Cooperate.

Look at that sweet ass.

Come on, baby.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

I'm coming!

I figure we're going to need about 10 cabs, Teddy

and we'll work double shift.

10 cabs, are you crazy?

I only have two extra and they're in the shop

well, fire somebody

I'm not going to fire nobody for a bunch of hookers.

You lousy son of a bitch.

We ought to cut it off for stringing us along.

Why don't you just get the hell out of here?

You're stinking up my apartment.

You'll be sorry for this, Teddy.

We're going to run you out of business.

Go on, get out.

Come on, girls.

Hello?

Hello.

We would like to apply for a loan.

Well, what kind of loan do you want?

Do you have a layaway plan? You know, lay now pay later.

What we really need is a business loan.

What type business are you girls going to be in?

We're going to start a cab company

cab company?

Well, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions.

How much money are you going to need?

$50,000

$50,000. That's a lot of money. Going to have to ask you.

Do you have any assets?

We got the best assets in town.

Well, I don't think that's going to be quite enough.

Are you getting a better idea of our assets?

Almost certainly,

but I don't think you'll be able to satisfy the big,

well, you have my approval. I think we better go see my boss.

Thank you.

Oh, ladies I didn't realize there were so many of you.

Why don't four of you come on in the office

and the rest of you wait outside.

That's okay, girls we can take care of it ourselves.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Now, exactly what did you have in mind?

We need a $50,000 business loan, Mr. brown

$50,000. That's a lot of money, ladies.

What were you going to put up for collateral?

Well, we're going to put ourselves up for collateral.

Yourselves?

Mmh.

I'm afraid I don't quite understand.

Why don't we explain it to you?

Come over here. You can have my seat.

Oh, thank you.

Just relax. And let us do the work.

You're going to explain the collateral, right? Ladies.

Oh yes. We'll let you know exactly what our collateral is.

Cock's worth $50,000, dear, we got to treat it well.

Oh ladies. It's fantastic.

$50,000?

It's not so much.

No, not at all.

How much do you think we are worth, Carolyn?

I think we're up to, let's see about 12,500 already girls.

I do hope that means each of us.

We're working, working toward the big loan.

Does that feel good?

It's great.

You like it, Mr. brown?

Yeah, I love it.

Stay up there ladies. We'll be right up there.

Come on. Put your lips around that.

Come on, girls. You can't get loan for nothing now.

Suck all the cum out.

So, do you think that this is an equitable proposition,

Mr. brown?

I think it's incredibly equitable.

In fact, this is just a beautiful new approach

to active business.

And until we pay off our loan,

we will drive you anywhere anytime.

You can have any one of us or all of us anytime you want.

Ladies you have got yourselves a deal.

In fact, I personally am going to set up your account

here at the bank and watch it very closely.

We can't ask for any more than that.

Hey, this is our car right here.

Hey girls, this is it right here. This is our car.

Yeah, this is our baby right here.

This is it. What do you think?

Gorgeous.

Hey, sweet cheeks, how much can we get this for?

$4,000, lady.

How much? I didn't quite hear you.

Well, maybe I could let it go for $3750.

$3750 for this piece of junk?

Are you sure you couldn't go down any lower?

I don't think I can ma'am.

If you will, we will.

I don't know what you're saying.

What's happening here now?

Oh, don't worry about it.

Judy, Sharon you girls stay outside.

You can sit on it.

If you think I'm going any lower on the price of that car.

Did we get you upset?

Yes you did. That car is a good car

and I ain't going to go much lower than you just offered me.

We need that car.

And I need my money.

I've got business going around here ladies

so have we.

What kind of business you going into.

Kind of taxi.

Taxi? Really you're certainly getting my meter running.

We hope so.

Goodness.

Oh, I like to watch that.

You like to watch?

Oh, take these pants down.

Come on ladies, I want to see something now.

Which would you prefer?

Blonde or brunette or how 'bout a red head?

I'd like to see a blonde, a brunette and a red head.

It's really nice. Oh baby, that fits so nice.

Go down all that on that cock baby.

What are they doing over there?

Nothing, we'll bring another one.

Gobble it down baby. Oh, yeah.

Such a hot little mouth.

Nice little titties sitting over there on the couch.

Oh, you're making me come.

Put your fist up her cunt, baby.

Suck on her nipples.

That feels good.

Fuck her. Ram that cock inside of her. Deep inside of her.

Do like she says.

Now this is what I call a bargain.

Very firm.

That's real nice. Do you do this kind of thing often?

$2,200 and no more.

All right, but I think I'm getting fucked.

Yeah, but by the best.

Besides, I'm a star, you know?

Don't you recognize me? I was on television the other day.

Oh, really?

I was sitting right on top of it.

Hey, you guys.

Hey, how are you doing? Why don't you come over here?

Hey we got some good action going here.

Look at this. How do you like this interior?

I'm coming too.

Remove your fucking car.

Dear, what are you doing?

I'm taking a friend of mine out for his walky walky.

I won't do that if I were you.

Why not?

Because you'll get into a fight again with

the dog next door, the brown's dog.

Every time he sees that doberman, he draws blood.

But dynamite's gotta have his walk, honey.

I'll tell you what, sweetheart,

if you're real good to me tonight I'll take him out, okay?

Oh, you're so sweet, Harold.

Hey, Emma.

Well, what will it be today cute little Teddy bear?

The usual, Toni. Just take it around the block once.

Only, make sure my wife never sees it.

Oh, she won't.

You want to suck my cock, don't you?

Come on. Say you want to suck my cock. Say it.

I want to suck your cock.

Say it with feeling.

I want to suck your cock.

Just get down there and suck it.

Hey baby. How about the real drink?

Oh sorry sweetheart, you got to catch

one of my other girls.

I got to be on stage in a half an hour

what do you do?

I'm a stand-up comedian.

Standup comedian?

How come you're not married raising a family?

Yeah, I tried that once.

All he wanted to do was chain me

to the kitchen sink. Besides, I made a promise to myself.

I'm going to be a star and nobody's going to stop me.

Settle down now, animal.

I don't know what's wrong with her.

Anyone who's seen her orange juice commercials knows

that chick's been suckin' fruits for years.

For some reason I'm always on a freeway. This is a problem.

I'm on the freeway.

I always get stuck behind a camper. Ever have this happen?

Guys you can't go around him. You can't go under him.

You can't go over him.

Follow him for 25 miles,

guys got a 48 Hudson pickup with a camper

and their blue smoke pouring out the back.

You ever look at the back of a camper over here,

big decal of a deer over here big decal of a fish

little decals all around showing where the people have been.

Yosemite, yellowstone, edna's house of oral love.

I want to thank you. You've really been a great audience.

Manny just got a brand new job.

He's going to be Charles' leading man

in a brand new film called "sodom and guacamole".

But we are proud to present brand newcomer.

During the day, this girl works as a taxi driver.

But I've been seen her act and let me tell you folks,

I'd like to make that meter run, myself.

Let's hear it for a brand new comer, Toni.

Do any of you recognize me?

No, because you know what, I was on television yesterday.

Yes, I was. I was sitting on it.

No, really. I'm an actress you know.

No, I really am an actress

I went to this producer the other day

and he's got this movie, you see?

And he even offered me a part.

He offered me a part, you know?

And I asked, "how big is it?"

He says "well, its about this big."

When he called, I stood up from behind the table,

he was naked, he was just this big.

I tried to get a job last week as a playboy bunny

hey, what's the matter..

The only thing is that I couldn't pass the rabbit test.

I mean the rabbit lived but the doctor died.

People are really weird in Hollywood.

As a matter of fact everybody's just a little weird

in Hollywood.

They sleep with you one time

and right away they want to take you to dinner.

Big Toni. Lets hear it for the terrific Toni.

You've heard of the midas touch, right?

Where every time you touch something, it turns to gold.

But Toni got a special touch too.

Every time she touches something, it turns limp.

Hey, you were great, you were great.

Oh, thank you.

My name is Boris sablowsky, I'm an agent.

- Let me tell you. - Wow. How do you do

I could be able to get you some work. Here's my card.

Call me during the day. Soon.

Talk soon. You were great.

Sure. Thank you. Goodbye.

So baby, you left me to do standup and now you're

hookin' in the gutter.

Johnny, I'm not hooking nothing.

Oh yeah, well your lawyer rang me up.

You got a court date coming up.

You were busted for prostitution.

So, what's that to you?

Depends. What is your device, Toni?

Not interested. Not a bit.

You lousy little whore. I was the best thing

that ever happened to you.

What does it take to whet your appetite?

Here's a 20. More? How about 50. Take it all,

everything I've got.

Oh Johnny, you do care, don't you? I love you.

God, let's make love like we used to

I love you Toni, don't ever leave me, okay?

I have a real break with an agent,

he might give me some stage work.

Listen, I don't care what you do.

As long as you give up this fucking cabs and the hooking

I want you.

Can I get condom?

Fuck me. Fuck me.

We need the job.

I hate to lay you men off,

but those hookers are running us right into the poor house.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

I've got a wife and two kids to support

and doctor bills.

Bitch about it to those girls, there aint nothing I can do

how can you let a bunch of hookers

come destroy our business?

All I know is that since that since those pink cabs

hit the street, our business is down 35%.

Well, I'm not going to sit on my ass

and watch my kids starve.

Damn right. We're going to take care of this.

Come on. Let's go get 'em.

I agree with you.

Pinky five house, the presidential fare.

We're headed east on Wilshire toward bank headquarters.

The president should be getting off at any moment now

Come on. Put your lips around that.

Pinky two, come in pinky two.

This is Toni, what's your fare?

I got it, juicy Lucy heading west on fountain.

I'll be in clear in about 20 minutes.

What the hell is this?

That's juicy Lucy.

Slip it right in, you'll love fucking her.

This is a thing I can't fuck a thing.

For 20 bucks, that's all you get.

I mean she's juicy and tight.

Don't knock her till you've knocked her.

If you say so.

Oh, dynamite.

Oh yeah. How's she feel? Does she meet your qualifications?

Oh, slam that bitch.

Lucy, Lucy, I love Lucy.

Fuck her. Get it there dude. Get it.

Oh, god, that looks good. Ram her.

Here, take it all in for me.

Isn't she juicy and tight?

That looks delicious. Wish I didn't have to drive the cab.

I'm going to fuck you until your ears bleed, you whore.

Sweet as honey, isn't it, sugar?

Stick it right in there.

Ten four pinky six, I'm meeting frank

at the comedy shop. Over and out.

Hey, Toni. I'm ready for another ride.

Sorry, Bernie baby. I'm going back to my husband.

I'm not hooking anymore.

The Clark 69 has got special treat for y'all now.

We got the royalty all the way from Sweden.

I'd like to have the queen step right up here.

Not you sir, I'm sorry.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you.

I'm a contestant from Poland.

My great grandmother bought the title

from sears and roebuck.

And I know it doesn't mean very much over here,

but in Poland it meant I didn't have to do windows.

What are you doing?

You got her?

Lets go.

Open the door.

Help! Help!

Thank you. Thank you.

I love America but what really bothers me about this country

is like there are people living here who are so poor that

they are eating dog food.

In Poland, you wouldn't dream of eating dog food.

Not even if you had nothing to eat, we wouldn't eat that.

Why eat dog food when you can eat the dog?

Thank you. Thank you.

One thing though, one thing that really bugs me

about this country and that's dating,

last night my boyfriend took me out to dinner,

to a drive-in movie, and then he tried to get fresh with me

in the backseat of his car.

If I can't make it in the front seat,

I won't do it at all.

I tell you I'm so happy to be in this country.

It's such a great place to live.

Where else would I get a chance to wear underwear

that had written on it Monday?

Get her, Sam. You're not going to be able to sit in a taxi

after today, bitch. Suck up. Suck up. That's it.

Steal my cab, bitch.

Catch you in fucking cab again baby,

I'll stick it down your throat, you get that?

Next time, next time it's going to be tumble bay.

Your ass is going to be too sore to sit down baby.

Suck it, all the way down.

Goddammit.

Fuck her where she breathes.

Feel good?

It's like you steal cabs. Now suck some cock.

Pump it in, Sam.

Come on, suck.

Getitin here.

All the way down.

Suck it.

You can drive little cabs, huh?

Answer me, cunt.

I asked if you're going to drive any more cabs.

No.

Say no sir.

No sir

good girl.

Come here. We're friends now, baby.

That's it, girl. That's it.

Here, you two know each other, don't you?

Hello.

Hey, Betty. Have you heard from Toni?

No, I haven't.

She was supposed to be on stage a half hour ago.

Toni just did that an hour ago. She called from the cab

she said that she was on her way to see you

at the comedy shop.

Okay. Thanks a lot

good luck.

6410 west fourth. Step on it, will you?

We'll put you out of business, bitch.

We lost our fucking jobs because of you.

Lick those fucking balls. Lick 'em.

Toni has put it to you

Teach you to fuck around with our cabs, baby.

Fuck her.

Cum all over her face.

David, go get on the radio and call up everybody.

You get 'em over here. Free ass for everybody. Go.

Hurry up. It's not gonna last forever.

You bitch, you fucking can't..

Yo, 486063 and 42, we have a hot cake mommy here.

All ready for hot services,

Henry here, I'll clear my fare in 20 minutes.

I can't wait to fuck that bitch.

Is there any of that action I can get in on

just a little private cabby business

a three dollar and twenty cent fare.

Hello, Betty.

Hello, John.

Any word from Toni. Not a word, nothing John.

What could've happened to her?

Hope those yellow cab pricks haven't done anything to her

they've been threatening trouble all week.

My god that's it. It must be it.

They must've grabbed her.

Listen Betty, you grab all the girls you can find

you meet me at 1486, rich canyon as fast as you can okay.

Okay, I'm on my way.

Fuck that bitch.

Did you hear me? You are out of business.

Suck that dick.

Hey, its gonna turn out all right in court today, okay?

I hope so. John, this is my last bust, I promise.

I hope so.

Get dressed, you're going to be late.

Please rise.

Be seated.

Sit down and take off your hat, please.

The city of los Angeles versus Toni.

Hmm. Interesting.

And how does the defendant plead?

Your honor, the defendant pleads guilty.

Well then due to the extenuating circumstances

in this case, I wish to see the defendant in my chambers.

Recess 30 minutes.

How come you never told me that you were a judge.

Shut up, Toni.

Come here and serve your sentence.

With pleasure.