Original subtitles

Previously on Theodosia... My parents are coming to London.

Did they say anything more about school in Switzerland?

No, I'll talk them around. They'll see.

Here. Hemiunu himself.

The flail you used to imprison me.

Where did you hide it?

We find the flail before Apep can.

There's someone up there.

Intruders! Let's get out of here.

They look so peaceful. Not a care in the world.

There should be a law against looking this fabulous.

SHE COUGHS

You all right? You don't sound fabulous.

You were coughing all night as well.

I don't get ill.

And even if I did, no. No way. Not with my parents visiting.

So exciting. I just wish they were here longer.

Mm. I'll barely have time to catch up let alone

convince them not to send me to Switzerland.

You're sure you didn't breathe in any of Apep's curse last night?

Maybe just a smidge but nothing to worry about. I feel fine.

OK, well, I don't see any magic on you,

and you don't appear to have a temperature.

But let's keep an eye on that cough, yeah?

Thanks, doc. No problem.

Wow. You look... rough.

For the last time, I'm totally fine.

Somehow, Hemiunu used the flail to trap Apep in here.

It must have been a tight squeeze. Mm.

You know, a flail could make a rather bold statement piece.

All I know is I've invented better weapons in my sleep.

This one isn't filled with powerful magic.

And if one of your relatives ever manages to capture an evil god...

SHE COUGHS

Safiya, I...

Theo. What's happened to her?

Safiya!

That's nice, but I'm totally fine.

SHE COUGHS

Hey, who are you again?

What's happening to her?

I don't know. That's what I need to work out.

OK, my best guess is that...

Well, the Ancient Egyptians believed everyone had

an inner spirit, your ka.

You know, the mystical essence that kept everyone's body healthy.

But Safiya's mystical essence isn't doing a great job right now.

That's the thing - they also believed

that evil magicians could hurt you by attacking that ka.

So, that's what Apep's gas is doing to her?

Well, it makes sense.

Look, anyway, this spell should allow me

to share some of my own ka strength with Safiya.

But won't that weaken you? Look, it sounds risky.

I know it sounds risky, but...

..well it's the only chance Safiya's got.

Whether it's enough to defeat Apep's magic, I...

OK, just tell me what you need.

OK, right there.

Intruders.

In my sanctum.

You have disappointed me.

I dealt with the guard responsible, Great One.

Personally.

No intruder can harm you, mighty Apep.

Your power is almost returned.

Y-e-e-e-e-sss.

My glory approaches.

Ra's defeat beckons.

Even your human incompetence cannot stop me.

Be vigilant.

Return to your watch.

And do not disturb me again.

BOTH: Yes, Great One.

OK, Henry, you're up.

This is a lot. You sure this is right?

Well, sure as I can be.

This stupid page is too splotchy to read properly.

There's way too many seeds.

Totally not... Henry, can you hurry up, please?

OK, OK, I'm done.

Hear me, Ancients. Ra, smile upon me.

Thoth, protect me. Khnum, sculptor of man,

allow me to share my divine spirit.

Did it work? Safiya, how'd you feel?

I keep telling you I'm fine.

I wasn't talking to you. Safiya?

Wait, what? What's going...?

THEY SCREAM

Wait, why are we screaming?

This can't be.

It can be.

I'm... She's...

BOTH: We've swapped bodies!

Oh, Theo, what have you done?

I was trying to save your life, Safiya.

You're cured, aren't you?

You call this being cured? I am in the wrong body.

I haven't seen Mummy and Daddy for months,

and I have to show up wearing this blouse?!

You really are Safiya.

It's OK, we'll make this right.

If I had a better understanding of ka door...

You must really hate your feet.

I swear these boots are made of concrete.

Ah-ha. There you all are!

Let me introduce our honoured guests.

Their Royal Highnesses... Mummy! Daddy!

I... Is what Safiya might say.

THEY GREET

Right. Hi, guys. We've missed you, habibti.

Your Highnesses.

Henry Throckmorton, at your service.

Look, er, it was a pleasure to meet you,

but you'll have to excuse us for a moment.

Oh, Henry, er...

Yeah, that could have gone better.

You think? I haven't seen my parents in months,

and then Theo's coming and starts stealing all my hugs.

This is weird for me too. Look...

..let's just focus on finding the reversal spell.

We can't just leave her parents hanging.

They're literally royalty.

I'm literally royalty, if you remember.

Actually, right now you're just grubby old Theodosia.

Less of the grubby.

But Henry's right,

we might have to style this out for a while.

What? As each other?

Why not?

I can be, er, princessy.

Well, even if you could pull off my poise and grace,

I had a delicate plan that would persuade my parents to let me stay.

If this goes badly, I'm gone.

But your parents are right there. You don't have much of a choice.

Urgh. OK, fine, fine.

Yeah, fine.

Theo can be me.

I guess I'm the one who'll have to find that reversal spell.

What about the Flail of Hemiunu?

Who cares which body we're in, if the world is destroyed?

Speak for yourself.

Or... myself?

Just leave the flail to me and Granny, OK?

Now go get back out there.

Sorry about that. I was just helping out Henry with

a bit of extra history work because I'm a total expert on...

..on all of that.

Safiya, perhaps your parents would enjoy a tour of the museum.

Why don't you show them around?

Sure. Any excuse to give these gorgeous shoes a spin.

Back straight, habibti. You're a princess not a camel.

About time. Will Theodosia be joining us, too?

Actually, she's... Not feeling herself,

so I thought I'd look into this Flail of Hemiunu.

Excellent initiative, Henry.

Thanks.

So, I don't suppose you've found any answers in your research?

Answers, no.

Leads, however...

What do you say we go on a little adventure?

OK.

There was an old papyrus of Harold's.

It contained what was said to be a mythical account

of the construction of The Great Pyramid.

But that's where Apep was imprisoned.

You think it might tell us how?

One shouldn't get ahead of oneself.

The papyrus was loaned

to the Egyptological Society many years ago.

Any chance we could beg for it back?

Where do you suppose I'm taking you?

To the Egyptological Society.

So, this is the classroom. Great, isn't it?

They teach you in their living room?

That hardly seems appropriate.

It's way better than some soulless classroom.

The Alpine Institute

of Switzerland has state-of-the-art lecture theatres for each subject.

Right.

Well, the Throckmortons are actual experts in Egyptology.

Well, at the Alpine Institute,

you'll be taught by Nobel Prize winners.

Even gymnastics is taught by Olympians.

We do PE in the garden...

The Alpine Institute has two polo fields.

If you love it so much, why don't you go to Switzerland?

Joking.

Ha-ha. Let me show you the Egyptian floor.

You'll be amazed by how much I've learned.

So...

..owl means sigma,

and sigma means seven...

..or is it 12?

Would it be so difficult to keep your book to,

I don't know, three ancient languages?

Ah. Theo, I have a big restoration job with your name on it.

Sorry, Mr Throckmor... Er, Dad... Dad.

Erm, seriously bad timing.

Who are you, and what have you done with my daughter?

You love restoring artefacts!

But you... Oh, yes. Yes, I do. I love it. Can't wait. Good.

And this old guy is King Akhenaten,

who ruled for 17 years in the 18th dynasty

and famously abandoned the traditional polytheism

and introduced monotheism in Egypt.

What? Did I get the years wrong?

No, no. Carry on, chickpea.

Perhaps that's enough history.

Oh, guess which Danish prince your cousin is newly engaged to.

Um... Let me think on that one.

I thought you were looking for a reversal spell?

Spell.

Yeah, well, so did I.

Until Theo decided she would much rather

try to fix whatever that mess is.

Oh, how's Daddy's back?

You know he shouldn't be on his feet for too long.

And Mummy looks like she needs a cup of tea.

Safiya, is the tour over yet?

You know,

if you want a real tour, Theo's the best at that.

You really should spend some time with her.

Don't be silly, darling. It's you we're here to see.

Me? But you know me - same old Saffy.

Theo, however,

you'd really love her if you got to know her.

I'm sure she's wonderful, but we're only here for a few hours.

are you trying to get rid of us? What?

No. No, no. Of course not, I just...

Why don't you rest your feet, Daddy?

I'll go fetch us a pot of tea.

Habibti, we just want the best education for you.

I appreciate how much you care about my future,

but isn't that why you sent me to London

in the first place? And I really am happy here.

Hear us out, please. You're our little girl.

We love you dearly and only want the very best for you.

Imagine waking up to this view.

Oh, wow.

Fresh mountain air in your lungs.

The lake right on your doorstep.

OK.

I admit your points are all entirely logical and sound...

I'm so sorry to interrupt.

A word, please, Safiya.

Is this really your way of helping me?

The school looks incredible.

Boating on Lake Geneva, skiing in the Alps.

It's not about the school, Theo,

it's about you guys. I want to stay here with...

Well, all the best friends I've ever had.

Right. No, I'm sorry, Safiya.

There you are.

This jewellery collection won't dust itself.

Hop to it.

That was awesome, Granny.

You could have convinced the guy to give us his entire collection.

Oh, never underestimate the power of a disapproving glare.

Now all we need is somewhere to read this papyrus.

Best not to interrupt our royal guests at the museum.

Oh, yeah, I know just the place.

You're not afraid of mechanical fortune tellers, are you?

The Penny Arcade is the best hang-out in town.

Welcome.

Ah!

Good morning, Lady Throckmorton.

What were you thinking, mate?

Look, we needed somewhere to read this papyrus and...

..this is somewhere.

I suppose it will have to suffice.

Now, then...

Wow! Is that The Great Pyramid?

What's with all these tunnels?

Look. This looks so much like a mummy case,

only much more complex.

MUMMY LAUGHS

With the image of a serpent.

I think these are the plans for the prison that held Apep.

What do you think, Grandma?

Er, what I think, Henry, is... MUMMY LAUGHS

Will you cease that infernal racket?!

You were saying, Grandmother? Tell me, William,

what on earth do people see in these things?

The thing about Switzerland is there's such

a thing as too much beautiful countryside.

Theo... Theo!

Saffy, we're running out of time, your parents want to drag me

to lunch before they leave for Berlin.

Look, I think I've found the right spell.

There's only a few ingredients,

OK, Nile mud, ibis feather and...

There was something else I couldn't translate. Here.

Malachite? Uh-oh.

I don't think we've got any. Oh, great, well...

If only we were in a museum full of rare artefacts!

Problem is the Egyptians only ground malachite for make-up.

Oh.

No, you're right.

You search the stores, I'll check the catalogue.

OK. Don't worry, we'll fix this.

Henry, I haven't had this much fun in years!

Oh, take that, you silver devil!

You're even better than Safiya!

SHE LAUGHS

OK, guys. Step away from the pinball machine.

I reckon I've got something. Spoilsport.

Look at this.

"At 10.50am, the shadow points to where the flail is buried."

Yeah, but it doesn't say where this obelisk is.

It looks awfully familiar to me.

William, we must bid you adieu.

Henry, follow me.

You must come back to keep your place on the leaderboard.

The champion will return.

And they're off.

Malachite... Malachite...

How about we skip lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon

looking through the museum stores instead?

I think you've had more than enough of this stuffy place.

Clearly you need some fresh air.

We can stroll through the park on the way to the restaurant.

I can't leave the museum like this. People will stare at me.

Wait, your brooch. It's malachite.

Of course it is. You've seen it a million times.

Malachite... Malachite...

Oh, come on!

There has be a stray vase or something somewhere.

Mummy's brooch!

Your mummy.

Sorry, this is getting confusing. So? Did you get it?

I couldn't just snatch it off her. I can't do it.

I could spark an international incident.

We'll have to find some other way.

Please, Theo, you have to get that brooch.

I'm running out of time.

I have to be with my parents.

Apep really is full of rage, isn't he?

Oh, what do you expect?

He despairs at this pitiful world around him.

Yes, of course.

Are you questioning the Great One?

We are in service to a god.

And when he rises to full power, he will reward his loyal servants.

Yes, you're right.

A better world will come. Mm.

Are we going to patrol or just stand here?

Oh, Theo.

What have you got there?

We must tell the Great One at once.

Unless...

..you're still having doubts?

No.

Where has Saffy got to?

We're late for lunch at Giovanna's.

She's acting so strangely.

She needs a proper school, not a museum.

Yes. I was just telling her that when suddenly she heard me

and rushed off saying,

"In that case I can't make it any worse, can I?"

What on earth did she mean by that? I don't know.

Darling, what's happened to your brooch?

Mummy's broach. Well, ho...

How did you persuade her that...?

Well, I...

Oh, you did not. No...

Do you want to be with your parents or not?

Oh, of course I do but now they're going to send me away for real.

Let's not worry about that right now.

Do you have all the ingredients? Yeah, right here.

Let's just hope you got the right spell.

Trust me, Saf. This is going to work.

Theo...

Theo, you do realise that if this doesn't work...

..you are the one going to Switzerland.

I didn't think about that. I... I can't go to Switzerland!

Yes. Because if I remember correctly, weren't you the one

saying how amazing it was going to be?

"Mummy. Daddy. The school just looks incredible!

"Boating on Lake Geneva, skiing in the Alps."

But I'm no good at skiing.

Safiya!

OK, they're coming. Hurry, please.

Where are you? OK.

Hear me, Ancients.

Nehebkau, he who unites the ka, return us to our true vessels.

My fabulous dress!

My clumpy boots! Yes!

Everything is right with the world.

Young lady, we need a serious conversation about your future.

MOUTHS: Sorry.

Here it is. I knew it.

The Place de la Concorde.

In Paris, young man.

Oh, oh, great.

There's no way Mum and Dad will let me to go to France.

I should very much hope not, Henry.

But who's to stop me from going?

Perhaps it's something of a long shot,

but if the Flail of Hemiunu is in Paris,

I won't rest until it's ours. What do you think?

Apep is so doomed!

SHE LAUGHS

31 - London's West End is way better than whatever the Swiss have.

32 - British suffragettes are going to change the world, fact.

33 - Alistair and Henrietta really are amazing teachers.

Darling, we get it. You're happy here.

And the truth is,

we've been impressed by much of what you've shown us today.

You have?

I'm so sorry, I'll just be back here.

Some of your behaviour, however,

is simply not befitting of a princess.

I know. I guess I was so excited to see you,

I totally neglected my royal conduct.

As for your brooch, all I wanted was to read the inscription.

Oh. I'm afraid even the finest school in the world

won't teach you how to read those hieroglyphs.

Seriously? That's pretty basic stuff around here.

Let's see.

"My guiding star.

"For all eternity."

Aw, Daddy, you old softie.

Nailed it.

Love you both so much.

I just wish we'd had more time together.

Well, looks like everything ended up all right.

Yeah, I just heard her mum tell her

that she'll come visit her more often.

Yeah, she'll like that.

Yeah. Admit it, it was hard being her, wasn't it?

What?

No... No, of course not.

No, I had her parents exactly where I wanted them, actually.

Yeah, of course you did!

Still, at least everything's back to normal now.

Yeah, totally normal, right?

Trying to stop an ancient god from destroying the world.

You dare disobey a direct order?

Our apologies, Great One.

Our intruders left something behind.

Your cousin?

Great One, I...

METAL THUDS

She will interfere no longer.

Theodosia Throckmorton must be stopped.