Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:14,661 --> 00:02:16,370
- Yes?
- Andrew Wyke?
2
00:02:16,538 --> 00:02:18,539
That's right.
3
00:02:19,374 --> 00:02:20,999
I'm Milo Tindle.
4
00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:23,961
Oh, yes, good.
5
00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:30,217
Glad to meet you.
6
00:02:31,928 --> 00:02:34,096
You got the train to Charlebury,
did you?
7
00:02:34,264 --> 00:02:36,598
- I drove.
- Oh, you drove?
8
00:02:36,766 --> 00:02:37,933
That's my car.
9
00:02:38,101 --> 00:02:40,018
Oh, the little one?
10
00:02:40,186 --> 00:02:42,938
- Not the big one.
- No, the big one's mine.
11
00:02:43,106 --> 00:02:45,065
What do you think of it?
12
00:02:49,028 --> 00:02:50,445
- Very handsome.
- Yeah.
13
00:02:50,613 --> 00:02:52,781
It is, isn't it?
14
00:02:55,535 --> 00:02:57,244
Come in.
15
00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:05,794
I was watching a video
of one of my books on television.
16
00:03:11,176 --> 00:03:13,051
Like the house?
17
00:03:13,219 --> 00:03:14,720
Extraordinary.
18
00:03:14,888 --> 00:03:18,640
You know who designed it,
who the interior decorator was?
19
00:03:18,808 --> 00:03:21,185
Yes, your wife.
20
00:03:21,352 --> 00:03:22,811
You knew?
21
00:03:22,979 --> 00:03:24,688
Yes, I knew.
22
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,899
I'll show you around later.
23
00:03:27,066 --> 00:03:28,734
Have a drink. I'm drinking vodka.
24
00:03:28,902 --> 00:03:31,570
- Scotch, please.
- Scotch.
25
00:03:31,738 --> 00:03:35,240
Milo, what an interesting name.
You're a foreigner, I take it?
26
00:03:35,408 --> 00:03:37,910
My father's Italian.
27
00:03:38,077 --> 00:03:40,287
Milo sounds Hungarian.
28
00:03:40,455 --> 00:03:42,122
Does it?
29
00:03:42,707 --> 00:03:44,708
Here's your Scotch.
30
00:03:47,837 --> 00:03:50,964
Cheers.
31
00:03:52,634 --> 00:03:55,761
You sure your father
isn't Hungarian?
32
00:03:55,929 --> 00:03:58,805
Well, if he is,
he's kept it a dead secret for years.
33
00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:01,600
- And your mother?
- English.
34
00:04:01,768 --> 00:04:04,269
So you're a kind of half-breed?
35
00:04:05,521 --> 00:04:07,314
Sit down.
36
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,491
- Thanks for agreeing to see me.
- Not at all.
37
00:04:17,659 --> 00:04:19,785
I didn't know you wrote plays
for television.
38
00:04:19,953 --> 00:04:22,412
I don't. I write crime novels.
You must know that.
39
00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:23,622
I had heard.
40
00:04:23,790 --> 00:04:27,292
But sometimes they're adapted
for television by other people.
41
00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:29,711
You know what the word
adapted means, I take it?
42
00:04:29,879 --> 00:04:31,713
Adapted?
43
00:04:31,881 --> 00:04:33,966
They may not have such a word
in Italian.
44
00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:37,010
- I speak English.
- Good.
45
00:04:37,178 --> 00:04:40,639
Come and have a look
at my special book room.
46
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,608
These are all my novels.
47
00:04:51,776 --> 00:04:53,819
You've read them, I suppose?
48
00:04:53,987 --> 00:04:55,862
Afraid not.
49
00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:57,990
Good God, no?
What about this one?
50
00:04:58,157 --> 00:05:00,450
- Rat in a Trap?
- No.
51
00:05:00,618 --> 00:05:02,244
- The Obelisk?
- No.
52
00:05:02,412 --> 00:05:03,453
- Blackout?
- No.
53
00:05:03,621 --> 00:05:06,123
- Dead Fish?
- Afraid not.
54
00:05:06,291 --> 00:05:08,166
God, you're one in a million.
55
00:05:08,334 --> 00:05:12,337
- Am I?
- Oh, absolu -- I'm very popular.
56
00:05:12,505 --> 00:05:14,548
You see this shelf?
57
00:05:15,174 --> 00:05:16,675
Translations.
58
00:05:16,843 --> 00:05:20,262
French, Dutch, German.
59
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:22,222
You speak Dutch yourself, do you?
60
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:25,559
Yes, how did you know?
I have a Dutch uncle.
61
00:05:25,727 --> 00:05:27,686
Can't see any Italian translations.
62
00:05:27,854 --> 00:05:32,065
No, they're a funny lot, the Italians.
Culture isn't really their thing.
63
00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:33,567
Their salami's good, though.
64
00:05:33,735 --> 00:05:36,486
- Oh, is it?
- Italian salami? Best in the world.
65
00:05:36,654 --> 00:05:38,488
Did you bring any with you?
66
00:05:38,656 --> 00:05:40,782
- No, I left it at home.
- Oh, shame.
67
00:05:40,950 --> 00:05:42,743
We're gonna have it
for supper tonight.
68
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,745
With a couple of bottles
of Valpolicella.
69
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:47,914
- We?
- Maggie and me.
70
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:52,044
Your glass is empty.
What were you drinking, vodka?
71
00:05:52,211 --> 00:05:54,755
- Scotch.
- Scotch.
72
00:06:06,517 --> 00:06:08,685
I want to come to the point.
73
00:06:08,895 --> 00:06:10,187
Point? What point?
74
00:06:10,355 --> 00:06:12,272
Are you gonna give Maggie
a divorce?
75
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,774
And if not, why not?
76
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,360
Yeah, yes, yes, we'll come to that.
77
00:06:16,527 --> 00:06:18,528
She thinks
you're being unreasonable.
78
00:06:18,696 --> 00:06:20,280
So do I.
79
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:23,658
She's never coming back to you,
so why not just give her the divorce?
80
00:06:23,826 --> 00:06:27,245
It'll do her good to wait for five years.
Good for her character.
81
00:06:27,413 --> 00:06:29,956
You're going to make her wait
five years?
82
00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:33,627
- That's the law. The law of the land.
- But that's pure spite.
83
00:06:33,795 --> 00:06:38,048
Anyway, we'll get back to that,
perhaps. Have your drink first.
84
00:06:41,552 --> 00:06:43,720
What do you do, by the way?
85
00:06:43,888 --> 00:06:45,472
I'm an actor.
86
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,016
Good God. Are you really?
87
00:06:48,184 --> 00:06:50,977
I thought Maggie said
you were a hairdresser.
88
00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:53,271
She must have been talking
about someone else.
89
00:06:53,439 --> 00:06:54,940
You mean another friend?
90
00:06:55,108 --> 00:06:56,566
Another friend?
91
00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:58,485
She tends to have
more than one friend.
92
00:06:58,653 --> 00:06:59,945
- Does she?
- Oh, yes.
93
00:07:00,113 --> 00:07:01,488
I'm her only friend.
94
00:07:01,656 --> 00:07:03,198
She must be lonely.
95
00:07:03,366 --> 00:07:04,991
She's not.
96
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:08,870
Acting is a pretty precarious
profession, isn't it?
97
00:07:09,038 --> 00:07:11,331
What are you acting in
at the moment?
98
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:13,375
I'm out of work.
99
00:07:13,543 --> 00:07:14,584
Poor chap.
100
00:07:14,752 --> 00:07:17,504
I drive cars now and again,
chauffeuring.
101
00:07:17,672 --> 00:07:20,090
- Oh, tough life.
- I keep my head above water.
102
00:07:21,551 --> 00:07:23,844
What sort of parts do you play?
103
00:07:25,138 --> 00:07:27,180
Killers, mostly.
104
00:07:27,348 --> 00:07:30,392
Sex maniacs, perverts.
105
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,185
But you're so charming.
106
00:07:32,353 --> 00:07:34,980
Yes, I know.
Anyway, what about this divorce?
107
00:07:35,148 --> 00:07:37,357
What's your position, exactly?
108
00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:40,026
All in good time.
109
00:07:48,870 --> 00:07:50,537
Come in.
110
00:07:57,587 --> 00:08:00,547
Have a seat.
Make yourself comfortable.
111
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,055
I understand you're fucking my wife.
112
00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:11,391
- That's right.
- Right.
113
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,226
Yes, right.
114
00:08:13,394 --> 00:08:15,520
- So we've cleared that up.
- We have.
115
00:08:15,688 --> 00:08:17,898
- I thought you might deny it.
- Why would I deny it?
116
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,901
- Well, she is my wife.
- Yes, but she's fucking me.
117
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,778
Oh, she's fucking you too?
Well, I'll be buggered.
118
00:08:24,614 --> 00:08:26,364
- Sorry.
- Yes, it's mutual.
119
00:08:26,532 --> 00:08:28,241
- You take turns?
- We fuck each other.
120
00:08:28,409 --> 00:08:32,245
- That's what people do.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I follow.
121
00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:37,751
- We're in love.
- You're in love?
122
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,419
That's right.
123
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,217
Let me top you up.
124
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,895
I heard a rumor
that you wanted to marry her.
125
00:08:57,063 --> 00:08:59,022
- That can't be true, can it?
- Why not?
126
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:02,108
In this day and age,
is marriage absolutely necessary?
127
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:03,318
Isn't it a bit old hat?
128
00:09:03,486 --> 00:09:05,362
- Is it?
- It's a mug's game.
129
00:09:05,530 --> 00:09:08,156
I wouldn't go near it if I were you.
You can't marry her.
130
00:09:08,324 --> 00:09:10,534
You can't marry her
because she's married to me.
131
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,410
Unless I divorce her, of course.
132
00:09:12,578 --> 00:09:14,621
- And are you?
- Am I what?
133
00:09:14,789 --> 00:09:15,872
Going to divorce her?
134
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,124
Are you really gonna
make her wait five years?
135
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:21,211
- She wants to know.
- To be honest, I can't wait.
136
00:09:21,837 --> 00:09:24,589
But there are one or two things
I'd like to clear up first.
137
00:09:24,757 --> 00:09:29,427
For example, I've never heard
of an Italian called Tindle.
138
00:09:29,595 --> 00:09:31,054
My father's name is Tindolini.
139
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:34,558
Now, that's lovely.
That's like a little bell.
140
00:09:34,725 --> 00:09:37,769
Why don't you go back to Tindolini?
It suits you.
141
00:09:37,937 --> 00:09:39,396
- You think so?
- Yes.
142
00:09:39,564 --> 00:09:44,192
So if and when you marry Maggie,
she'll be Maggie Tindolini.
143
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,820
Do you get a kick out of that?
144
00:09:47,488 --> 00:09:49,781
What name do you act under?
Tindle or Tindolini?
145
00:09:49,949 --> 00:09:51,950
- Tindle.
- Why have I never heard of you?
146
00:09:52,118 --> 00:09:53,451
You will before long.
147
00:09:53,619 --> 00:09:55,495
- Really?
- In spades.
148
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,330
- That sounds threatening.
- Does it?
149
00:09:57,498 --> 00:09:58,957
Doesn't it?
150
00:10:01,377 --> 00:10:04,588
Why don't we get down
to brass tacks?
151
00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:07,674
Brass tacks, yes. Why not?
152
00:10:09,010 --> 00:10:11,261
This is the way I see it.
153
00:10:12,847 --> 00:10:14,014
Come upstairs.
154
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,017
I want to show you something.
155
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,107
Are you all right in elevators?
156
00:10:27,069 --> 00:10:30,238
It won't make you sick
or anything, will it?
157
00:10:42,877 --> 00:10:45,295
This is our bedroom.
158
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:55,555
And this is my wife's dressing room.
159
00:10:56,849 --> 00:11:00,060
She left a few dresses.
Couldn't be bothered to pick them up.
160
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:03,563
They're worth thousands.
Thousands.
161
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:07,400
This leather coat alone
is worth 5000 quid.
162
00:11:07,568 --> 00:11:11,196
So you see, the thing is this.
Sit down.
163
00:11:14,492 --> 00:11:16,951
The thing is this,
my wife spends money like water.
164
00:11:17,119 --> 00:11:21,498
So if you're not careful,
she'll eat you out of house and home.
165
00:11:21,666 --> 00:11:24,918
She was born to luxury, you know.
Jamaica, the Ritz, the Swiss Alps.
166
00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:28,922
What are you?
Out-of-work actor, part-time chauffeur.
167
00:11:29,090 --> 00:11:32,092
You're out of your depth, old boy.
You're on a hiding to nothing.
168
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:33,927
If you think you're broke now ...
169
00:11:34,095 --> 00:11:37,305
you'll be 10 times broker
by the time she's finished with you.
170
00:11:37,473 --> 00:11:39,265
She'll have your guts for garters.
171
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,853
- She's in love with me.
- Oh, never trust in love, chum.
172
00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:46,981
Love will kick you up the arse
as soon as look at you.
173
00:11:47,149 --> 00:11:50,694
One minute, it's love,
10 minutes later, it's contempt.
174
00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:52,487
That's your own experience, is it?
175
00:11:52,655 --> 00:11:55,448
Oh, no, no, no, that's observation.
176
00:11:55,616 --> 00:11:57,951
Don't forget, I'm a novelist.
177
00:11:58,119 --> 00:12:00,578
I observe people.
178
00:12:01,205 --> 00:12:04,416
What I'm getting at is you won't
be able to give her what she wants.
179
00:12:04,583 --> 00:12:07,460
So she's gonna leave you,
come back to me.
180
00:12:07,628 --> 00:12:10,171
I don't want her near me.
That's the last thing I want.
181
00:12:10,339 --> 00:12:12,173
I've had her up to here.
182
00:12:12,341 --> 00:12:16,553
Anyway, I've got this lovely mistress.
She runs a sauna in Swindon.
183
00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:17,804
She's my girl.
184
00:12:17,972 --> 00:12:20,932
So you see,
I want Maggie to stay with you.
185
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,977
I want you two
to be together forever.
186
00:12:24,145 --> 00:12:25,520
But unless you listen to me ...
187
00:12:25,688 --> 00:12:27,897
the whole thing
will be a fucking disaster ...
188
00:12:28,065 --> 00:12:31,609
with catastrophic consequences
all round.
189
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:37,073
But I have a solution.
190
00:12:40,953 --> 00:12:44,080
You won't believe
what I'm gonna say.
191
00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:48,126
What are you gonna say?
192
00:12:48,294 --> 00:12:50,754
I'm all ears.
193
00:12:50,921 --> 00:12:52,464
You know something?
194
00:12:52,631 --> 00:12:54,507
I'm beginning to respond
to your charm.
195
00:12:54,675 --> 00:12:56,176
- Get away.
- No, it's true.
196
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:59,846
- I'm really touched.
- You should be.
197
00:13:00,014 --> 00:13:03,308
Tell me, I bet you didn't expect me
to be so intelligent.
198
00:13:03,476 --> 00:13:05,393
So quick-witted, did you?
199
00:13:05,561 --> 00:13:07,729
Oh, I did.
200
00:13:07,897 --> 00:13:09,773
Quite.
201
00:13:11,192 --> 00:13:13,651
Maggie told you, did she?
202
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,990
What's your solution?
203
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:25,622
It's a close fit, isn't it?
204
00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:27,624
For two.
205
00:13:35,758 --> 00:13:39,552
Listen, I'm going
to make you a proposition.
206
00:13:40,596 --> 00:13:42,972
A few years ago,
I gave her some jewels.
207
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:45,475
Amazingly expensive.
208
00:13:45,643 --> 00:13:49,562
I didn't give them to her, I own them.
They're insured in my name.
209
00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:53,107
But I let her use them
on special occasions.
210
00:13:53,275 --> 00:13:56,152
They're worth 1 million pounds.
211
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,531
They spend half the time in the bank,
half the time in the safe.
212
00:13:59,698 --> 00:14:04,577
At the moment, they're here
in the house, in the safe.
213
00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:08,832
And I want you to steal them.
214
00:14:13,045 --> 00:14:15,588
- Steal them?
- That's right.
215
00:14:16,131 --> 00:14:19,342
- What the hell do you mean?
- I want you to steal the jewels.
216
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,928
You want me to steal the jewels?
I don't get it.
217
00:14:22,096 --> 00:14:24,764
It's simple. You steal the jewels,
sell them abroad ...
218
00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:27,725
and you live happily ever after
with Maggie.
219
00:14:27,893 --> 00:14:30,436
I get rid of my wife
and I'll be like a pig in shit.
220
00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:33,940
You can keep Maggie in the manner
to which she's become accustomed.
221
00:14:34,108 --> 00:14:37,443
You want me to take part
in a scummy little plot ...
222
00:14:37,611 --> 00:14:39,863
to defraud your insurance company,
is that it?
223
00:14:40,030 --> 00:14:41,614
I thought it was quite elegant.
224
00:14:41,782 --> 00:14:43,324
What do you think I am?
225
00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:46,077
What the fuck
are you actually talking about?
226
00:14:46,245 --> 00:14:48,663
- These are real facts.
- This is a joke.
227
00:14:48,831 --> 00:14:49,873
- No.
- It's also a trap.
228
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,666
- A trap?
- Yes. You think I'm a fool.
229
00:14:51,834 --> 00:14:53,126
Well, are you?
230
00:14:53,294 --> 00:14:54,627
- It doesn't hold up.
- Why not?
231
00:14:54,795 --> 00:14:58,298
They're worth a million pounds. You'd
get a fraction of that from any fence.
232
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,593
I have already contacted
a friend of mine in Amsterdam.
233
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:07,348
And he will give you
800,000 pounds tax-free.
234
00:15:07,516 --> 00:15:09,559
Now, think about it.
235
00:15:09,727 --> 00:15:12,312
Eight hundred thousand pounds ...
236
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,564
tax-free.
237
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:18,484
Why would he do that?
238
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:21,404
When you steal the jewels,
you will also steal the receipts.
239
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:25,283
So he'll have title to the jewels
as well as the jewels themselves ...
240
00:15:25,451 --> 00:15:28,077
so that when he sells them,
he gets full value.
241
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,374
Got it?
242
00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:35,335
Think about it.
243
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:37,670
Take your time.
244
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:58,483
And why would you do all this?
245
00:15:58,651 --> 00:16:03,363
Listen, under this crooked exterior,
I am a simple, honest man.
246
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:07,200
Every word I've told you is true,
I swear it.
247
00:16:07,368 --> 00:16:12,872
I want to get rid of my wife,
but I want it to be solid, permanent.
248
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,042
I don't want her on my back.
I want her to stay on your back.
249
00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:17,710
This is a frame-up.
250
00:16:17,878 --> 00:16:20,213
- A frame-up?
- Yes.
251
00:16:20,381 --> 00:16:22,966
You want to destroy me.
252
00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:24,384
You want to see me in jail.
253
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:28,054
You want me to do this
and then shop me to the police.
254
00:16:28,222 --> 00:16:29,472
No, no, no.
255
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,977
If I shop you, then you'll shop me,
and then we'll both end up in jail.
256
00:16:34,144 --> 00:16:36,604
No, I take a strictly moral position
on all this.
257
00:16:36,772 --> 00:16:38,815
My wife is an adulteress.
258
00:16:38,983 --> 00:16:41,275
Actually,
she should be stoned to death.
259
00:16:41,443 --> 00:16:44,237
Anyway, it's up to you.
Make up your own mind.
260
00:16:44,405 --> 00:16:45,780
You're asking me to trust you?
261
00:16:45,948 --> 00:16:47,907
I don't give a fuck
if you trust me or not.
262
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,701
This is a simple proposition.
263
00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:52,495
You have an expensive woman
and no money.
264
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:55,748
You wanna keep the woman,
steal the jewels.
265
00:16:55,916 --> 00:16:59,752
Why don't you steal the jewels
and give them to me?
266
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,546
Don't be a bloody fool.
267
00:17:01,714 --> 00:17:05,133
The burglary has to be right.
The house has to be broken into.
268
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:08,094
- Why don't you break into it?
- For chrissake, I'm in it.
269
00:17:08,262 --> 00:17:11,055
How can I break into it? I live here.
270
00:17:39,043 --> 00:17:40,084
Okay.
271
00:17:40,252 --> 00:17:46,132
If I were to agree to do this,
would you agree to the divorce?
272
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:47,967
Why should I give her the divorce ...
273
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:50,553
if you're both walking away
with 800,000 pounds?
274
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:52,889
She wants a legal settlement.
275
00:17:53,557 --> 00:17:55,558
- She wants part of your estate.
- Greedy.
276
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,477
That's legal justice.
277
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,896
Never trust in legal justice.
278
00:18:00,064 --> 00:18:01,939
You know what legal justice is?
279
00:18:02,107 --> 00:18:06,110
It's farting "Annie Laurie"
through a keyhole.
280
00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:11,824
Listen, 800,000 pounds ...
281
00:18:11,992 --> 00:18:13,201
tax-free.
282
00:18:13,368 --> 00:18:15,369
All yours, in cash.
283
00:18:15,537 --> 00:18:19,332
- Why don't you stop pissing around?
- But wait a minute.
284
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,460
You get a million
from the insurance.
285
00:18:22,628 --> 00:18:24,128
Sure I do.
286
00:18:24,296 --> 00:18:27,006
Well, all right, I'll be frank.
287
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:30,927
I need it. Cash flow,
stocks, shares going down.
288
00:18:31,095 --> 00:18:33,846
Get me? Quid pro quo.
289
00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:37,850
You do me a favor, I do you a favor,
you keep the woman.
290
00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:41,938
Okay.
291
00:18:42,898 --> 00:18:44,357
Let's make a deal.
292
00:18:44,525 --> 00:18:47,443
- What deal?
- I break in, I steal the jewels.
293
00:18:47,611 --> 00:18:51,614
And you agree to the divorce.
294
00:18:52,282 --> 00:18:56,661
That's the deal. Otherwise, fuck it.
That's another quid pro quo.
295
00:18:56,829 --> 00:18:59,038
But you have to shake on it.
296
00:19:00,749 --> 00:19:02,416
All right.
297
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:04,669
I'll shake on it.
298
00:19:04,837 --> 00:19:06,712
Here's my hand.
299
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:09,882
Okay.
300
00:19:12,302 --> 00:19:15,221
Okay. So, what do I do?
301
00:19:15,389 --> 00:19:17,557
You break in.
302
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,350
You see that skylight up there?
303
00:19:19,518 --> 00:19:23,896
Well, that window there is the only one
that the burglar alarm doesn't touch.
304
00:19:24,064 --> 00:19:25,064
You get in there.
305
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:28,734
- That's pretty high up.
- Well, you climb a ladder.
306
00:19:28,902 --> 00:19:30,862
- I'm not good at heights.
- You can do it.
307
00:19:31,029 --> 00:19:33,030
Honestly, I know you can.
308
00:19:33,198 --> 00:19:35,992
- You're having me on.
- Oh, come on. Behave like a man.
309
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,493
A man of action.
310
00:19:37,661 --> 00:19:40,454
You don't have to be a hairdresser
for the rest of your life.
311
00:19:40,622 --> 00:19:45,042
You can be free, independent,
take care of the woman you love.
312
00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:46,752
Listen ...
313
00:19:47,337 --> 00:19:48,754
Put this on.
314
00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:51,465
I use it to communicate
with my gardener.
315
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,598
Lovely. Actually, it suits you.
316
00:20:00,225 --> 00:20:02,727
This is what you do. You go outside.
317
00:20:02,895 --> 00:20:05,938
Across the lawn, there's a shed.
Behind the shed, there's a ladder.
318
00:20:06,106 --> 00:20:09,025
You take the ladder, put it up
against the wall of the house...
319
00:20:09,193 --> 00:20:12,737
and I direct you
through the earphone.
320
00:20:12,905 --> 00:20:16,240
- Are you with me?
- Well, yes, yes.
321
00:20:16,408 --> 00:20:18,910
- But I'm anxious and frightened.
- Trust me.
322
00:20:19,077 --> 00:20:21,704
- But I don't.
- Well, trust me and all will be well.
323
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:25,666
Just follow my advice.
It's got to look real.
324
00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:27,960
We have to convince
the insurance people ...
325
00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:30,338
and the police,
if you see what I mean.
326
00:20:30,505 --> 00:20:35,176
Maggie never told me
you were such a manipulator.
327
00:20:35,344 --> 00:20:36,969
She told me
you were no good in bed.
328
00:20:37,137 --> 00:20:39,222
But she never told me
you were a manipulator.
329
00:20:39,389 --> 00:20:42,600
- She told you I was no good in bed?
- Oh, yes.
330
00:20:42,768 --> 00:20:46,437
She was joking.
I'm wonderful in bed.
331
00:20:46,605 --> 00:20:48,648
I must tell her.
332
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,453
- There's the shed across the lawn.
- Shed, yeah.
333
00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:06,707
- There's the ladder behind the shed.
- The ladder?
334
00:21:07,459 --> 00:21:09,210
The ladder.
335
00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,256
Inside the shed,
there's a pair of gardening gloves.
336
00:21:13,423 --> 00:21:16,008
Put them on. By the gardening gloves,
there's a hammer.
337
00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:17,802
You go round the back of the house.
338
00:21:17,970 --> 00:21:20,471
Put the ladder up against the wall
by the lower roof.
339
00:21:20,639 --> 00:21:23,849
Then, carry the hammer up the ladder
on to the lower roof.
340
00:21:24,017 --> 00:21:26,352
Then, you pull the ladder up
on to the main roof ...
341
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,272
and break the skylight window
with the hammer.
342
00:21:34,528 --> 00:21:38,239
Wait a minute.
You've forgotten one major item.
343
00:21:38,407 --> 00:21:40,366
What?
344
00:21:40,534 --> 00:21:43,160
Once I'm in,
how do I get down to floor level?
345
00:21:43,328 --> 00:21:45,663
Didn't I tell you? Oh, sorry.
346
00:21:45,831 --> 00:21:47,832
You see that small metal door
up there?
347
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,792
Inside, there's an electric ladder.
348
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,545
You get through the window,
I press a button.
349
00:21:52,713 --> 00:21:54,005
The ladder descends.
350
00:21:54,172 --> 00:21:56,507
- You get on and climb down.
- Let me see it descend.
351
00:21:56,675 --> 00:21:58,676
- What?
- Let me see it come down now.
352
00:21:58,844 --> 00:22:00,386
Sure.
353
00:22:15,861 --> 00:22:18,904
See? Easy as pissing.
354
00:22:22,993 --> 00:22:26,746
- I have a funny feeling that I'm a cunt.
- Of course you're a cunt.
355
00:22:27,873 --> 00:22:30,875
But so what?
You'll end up a wealthy man.
356
00:22:31,043 --> 00:22:33,794
Obey the rules. Just obey the rules.
357
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,590
- Whose rules?
- My rules.
358
00:22:39,801 --> 00:22:41,969
Go and get the other ladder.
359
00:23:11,291 --> 00:23:12,792
Can you see the ladder?
360
00:23:16,755 --> 00:23:18,464
Can I see the ladder?
361
00:23:31,436 --> 00:23:34,230
Place the ladder against the wall.
362
00:23:34,398 --> 00:23:36,482
Okay.
363
00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:40,403
Extend the ladder.
364
00:23:40,570 --> 00:23:41,821
Okay.
365
00:23:45,951 --> 00:23:48,077
- Climb up the ladder.
- Okay!
366
00:23:53,959 --> 00:23:55,501
Climb up the ladder.
367
00:23:56,753 --> 00:23:58,504
Why am I doing this?
368
00:24:12,602 --> 00:24:15,521
Keep calm. Keep calm.
369
00:24:15,689 --> 00:24:18,482
Keep coming. Keep coming.
370
00:24:18,650 --> 00:24:20,443
- Watch your step.
- Jesus.
371
00:24:27,742 --> 00:24:29,869
Keep calm.
372
00:25:11,453 --> 00:25:14,246
- Watch your step.
- I'm gonna die.
373
00:25:15,832 --> 00:25:17,917
Fuck.
374
00:25:18,084 --> 00:25:20,169
Don't stop. Keep going.
375
00:25:21,379 --> 00:25:22,922
Don't look down.
376
00:25:25,008 --> 00:25:26,550
You're at the window.
377
00:25:27,677 --> 00:25:29,386
Smash it.
378
00:25:39,189 --> 00:25:40,773
Fantastic.
379
00:25:43,235 --> 00:25:44,902
- Where's the ladder?
- What ladder?
380
00:25:45,070 --> 00:25:46,779
The ladder. Where's it gone?
381
00:25:46,947 --> 00:25:49,949
It's not working. There was
always a dodgy fuse on this.
382
00:25:50,116 --> 00:25:52,076
I'll phone the electrician
in the morning.
383
00:25:52,244 --> 00:25:53,869
In the morning? What about now?
384
00:25:54,037 --> 00:25:56,455
No, he'll be in bed.
You know these country people.
385
00:25:56,623 --> 00:26:00,793
Early to bed, early to rise.
He's a nice chap. He's called Norman.
386
00:26:00,961 --> 00:26:03,629
Charming wife, Debbie.
Three delightful kids.
387
00:26:03,797 --> 00:26:06,340
Oh, I've just remembered.
He's on vacation.
388
00:26:06,508 --> 00:26:09,134
- He's taken the kids to Bermuda.
- What?
389
00:26:09,302 --> 00:26:12,096
So I'm stuck up here
for the rest of my life?
390
00:26:12,264 --> 00:26:15,432
Have patience.
Stoicism is what's called for.
391
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,977
Works wonders. Oh, wait a minute.
392
00:26:18,562 --> 00:26:21,564
There's an emergency button
on the wall. You see it?
393
00:26:22,649 --> 00:26:24,233
That's it. Just press it ...
394
00:26:24,401 --> 00:26:26,694
and all will be well.
395
00:26:28,655 --> 00:26:30,614
There it is.
396
00:26:37,622 --> 00:26:39,623
Careful. Be careful.
397
00:26:42,043 --> 00:26:43,335
That's it.
398
00:26:45,171 --> 00:26:47,339
- Careful.
- Is this as far as it will go?
399
00:26:47,507 --> 00:26:48,924
Jump.
400
00:26:51,303 --> 00:26:53,679
- Oh, Christ!
- Wonderful.
401
00:26:54,472 --> 00:26:57,516
- Very, very impressed.
- I thought I was gonna die.
402
00:26:57,684 --> 00:27:00,019
- You will.
- So, what the fuck do I do now?
403
00:27:00,186 --> 00:27:02,771
- You open the safe.
- Where is it? How do I open it?
404
00:27:02,939 --> 00:27:05,149
Wait a minute.
You don't know where it is.
405
00:27:05,317 --> 00:27:07,568
You've got to find it,
you've got to look for it.
406
00:27:07,736 --> 00:27:10,988
Where is it?
Start in the bedroom.
407
00:27:11,156 --> 00:27:13,157
- How are you feeling?
- Okay, all right.
408
00:27:13,325 --> 00:27:15,909
- Excited?
- Quite, yes.
409
00:27:16,077 --> 00:27:19,038
You're a cool customer, I like that.
Okay.
410
00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:21,206
Open the wardrobe.
Open the drawers.
411
00:27:21,374 --> 00:27:22,416
Throw things around.
412
00:27:22,584 --> 00:27:25,294
You're looking for the safe.
It's up here somewhere.
413
00:27:25,462 --> 00:27:28,672
Play it for real.
Kick the place to death.
414
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,341
You're a desperate man.
415
00:27:31,051 --> 00:27:33,761
Safes are always kept
behind paintings, aren't they?
416
00:27:33,928 --> 00:27:35,220
What are you doing?
417
00:27:35,388 --> 00:27:37,890
I'm a desperate man, aren't I?
That's what you said.
418
00:27:38,058 --> 00:27:40,059
The man is a barbarian.
419
00:27:40,226 --> 00:27:44,229
- Where's the fucking safe?
- Well, open the chest of drawers.
420
00:27:45,690 --> 00:27:47,232
- It's locked.
- Kick it to death.
421
00:27:52,656 --> 00:27:55,032
And this is where I hear you.
422
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,533
You hear me?
423
00:27:56,701 --> 00:28:01,205
Yes, I'm asleep in the study.
That's where I sleep these days.
424
00:28:01,373 --> 00:28:04,416
I can't sleep in the bed
without my wife, you see.
425
00:28:05,794 --> 00:28:08,587
I hear you, I come into the bedroom.
426
00:28:08,755 --> 00:28:10,714
And I find you.
427
00:28:10,882 --> 00:28:11,924
And then?
428
00:28:12,092 --> 00:28:14,093
- I attack you.
- How?
429
00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:17,262
Like this. And this.
430
00:28:21,393 --> 00:28:24,645
- That hurt.
- So sorry.
431
00:28:27,357 --> 00:28:29,775
Then, you get out your knife.
432
00:28:30,402 --> 00:28:32,361
I don't have a knife.
433
00:28:34,948 --> 00:28:36,407
I do.
434
00:28:36,574 --> 00:28:39,076
- You threaten me with it.
- You're threatening me.
435
00:28:39,244 --> 00:28:41,120
No, I'm playing you.
This is what you do.
436
00:28:41,287 --> 00:28:43,288
You want to know
where the safe is ...
437
00:28:43,456 --> 00:28:46,959
what the combination is,
so you terrorize me with this knife.
438
00:28:47,127 --> 00:28:48,961
- Take it easy.
- You can see I'm ruthless.
439
00:28:49,129 --> 00:28:51,046
I'm unpredictable.
I'm probably a killer.
440
00:28:51,214 --> 00:28:55,342
And I'm certainly
very, very dangerous.
441
00:28:55,510 --> 00:28:58,387
But you? You're obstinate.
442
00:28:58,555 --> 00:29:01,765
- Me or you?
- I'm you, you're me, you get it?
443
00:29:02,225 --> 00:29:06,478
Now, the jewels
are worth a lot of money.
444
00:29:06,646 --> 00:29:07,980
You won't give in ...
445
00:29:08,148 --> 00:29:13,485
but I get out my gun.
446
00:29:15,655 --> 00:29:17,072
I'm still you, by the way.
447
00:29:18,450 --> 00:29:22,327
But then, to make it clear
that I mean business ...
448
00:29:24,831 --> 00:29:28,917
Bull's-eye.
449
00:29:30,003 --> 00:29:32,838
Finally, you give in.
You're so terrified ...
450
00:29:33,006 --> 00:29:38,010
you show me where the safe is.
It is behind that.
451
00:29:38,178 --> 00:29:39,178
Magic.
452
00:29:39,345 --> 00:29:42,514
And you're so frightened,
you give me the combination.
453
00:29:42,682 --> 00:29:46,685
19-11-94. Open it.
454
00:29:46,853 --> 00:29:48,645
Wait a minute. Am I me now?
455
00:29:48,813 --> 00:29:51,231
- Or are you me?
- No, you're now you.
456
00:29:51,399 --> 00:29:52,608
- You're now you.
- Me?
457
00:29:52,776 --> 00:29:55,194
- No, no.
- Or are you still me?
458
00:29:55,361 --> 00:29:59,281
You're now you. And I'm now me.
459
00:30:00,492 --> 00:30:01,950
Open the safe.
460
00:30:02,118 --> 00:30:04,328
19-11-94.
461
00:30:06,039 --> 00:30:07,372
It was our wedding day.
462
00:30:08,833 --> 00:30:13,879
The 19th of November, 1994.
463
00:30:24,557 --> 00:30:26,391
Jesus.
464
00:30:32,482 --> 00:30:34,316
What do you think?
465
00:30:35,902 --> 00:30:39,905
They're quite beautiful.
466
00:30:40,073 --> 00:30:42,241
Put them in your pocket.
467
00:30:43,952 --> 00:30:46,662
Eight hundred
thousand pounds, eh?
468
00:30:47,747 --> 00:30:49,748
That's what I said.
469
00:30:55,171 --> 00:30:56,755
Okay.
470
00:31:00,009 --> 00:31:02,761
So far, so good.
471
00:31:02,929 --> 00:31:05,597
Hey, you'd better give me
the address of that fence.
472
00:31:05,765 --> 00:31:07,933
- What fence?
- The fence in Amsterdam.
473
00:31:08,101 --> 00:31:09,434
Oh, that fence.
474
00:31:09,894 --> 00:31:12,729
Listen, you put that gun down.
475
00:31:12,897 --> 00:31:14,273
Why?
476
00:31:15,859 --> 00:31:19,236
It's pointing directly at me.
I'm not very happy about it.
477
00:31:19,404 --> 00:31:20,988
Why not?
478
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,409
- Look, is this a game?
- This is the real game.
479
00:31:28,162 --> 00:31:31,623
The real game has just begun.
480
00:31:32,542 --> 00:31:34,501
What's the real game?
481
00:31:34,669 --> 00:31:36,795
You and me.
482
00:31:37,297 --> 00:31:40,632
You, defenseless. Me, with a gun.
483
00:31:42,468 --> 00:31:44,595
It's the end of the jewelry story,
you see.
484
00:31:46,431 --> 00:31:47,973
- Oh, is it?
- Yeah.
485
00:31:48,141 --> 00:31:50,309
I enjoyed it, though.
486
00:31:50,727 --> 00:31:51,768
I'm not enjoying this.
487
00:31:51,936 --> 00:31:53,312
I don't blame you.
488
00:31:55,648 --> 00:31:57,107
What's it all about?
489
00:31:57,275 --> 00:32:01,403
Oh, come on. Buck your ideas up.
490
00:32:01,821 --> 00:32:05,782
You really didn't think I was gonna
let you have my wife and the jewels?
491
00:32:08,286 --> 00:32:10,203
You're joking.
492
00:32:11,789 --> 00:32:13,665
You've been leading me
up the garden.
493
00:32:13,833 --> 00:32:15,292
Right up.
494
00:32:16,628 --> 00:32:18,587
Stand on the bed.
495
00:32:30,934 --> 00:32:32,684
Listen. Wait a minute.
496
00:32:32,852 --> 00:32:36,772
Before you do anything,
there's something I must tell you.
497
00:32:38,274 --> 00:32:40,859
- What?
- Maggie respects you.
498
00:32:41,027 --> 00:32:42,361
- Really?
- Yes.
499
00:32:42,528 --> 00:32:44,738
She often says
you're a man of true integrity ...
500
00:32:44,906 --> 00:32:46,990
that you're a really decent guy.
501
00:32:47,158 --> 00:32:49,868
She's right. I'm a really decent guy.
502
00:32:50,036 --> 00:32:51,620
- I believe it.
- She's quite right.
503
00:32:51,788 --> 00:32:53,830
I'm a really decent guy.
504
00:32:53,998 --> 00:32:55,457
I know you are. I know you are.
505
00:32:55,625 --> 00:32:57,668
And that's what she often says.
506
00:32:57,835 --> 00:32:59,711
You're -- She admires your mind.
507
00:32:59,879 --> 00:33:02,047
- She admires my mind?
- Yes.
508
00:33:02,215 --> 00:33:04,383
- Your mind excites her.
- Sexually?
509
00:33:04,550 --> 00:33:06,885
Very. Your mind
excites your wife sexually.
510
00:33:07,053 --> 00:33:09,137
- What about my body?
- What about it?
511
00:33:09,305 --> 00:33:12,140
Well, what does she say
about my body?
512
00:33:14,143 --> 00:33:17,062
Do you know,
I don't think she's ever mentioned it.
513
00:33:17,230 --> 00:33:19,147
You're a prick.
514
00:33:22,151 --> 00:33:24,736
- Where does my prick come into it?
- I can guess where it comes in.
515
00:33:24,904 --> 00:33:27,572
But I wasn't talking
about your prick.
516
00:33:27,824 --> 00:33:31,243
- I was calling you a prick.
- Oh, thanks.
517
00:33:31,411 --> 00:33:33,245
But you know
what you are now, though?
518
00:33:33,413 --> 00:33:34,579
What?
519
00:33:34,747 --> 00:33:37,165
- You're a dead duck.
- Really?
520
00:33:37,583 --> 00:33:40,836
This is the way
the story goes to the police.
521
00:33:41,004 --> 00:33:43,922
I find you in my house,
you threaten me.
522
00:33:44,090 --> 00:33:45,882
You open the safe,
you take the jewels.
523
00:33:46,050 --> 00:33:47,426
You put them in your pocket.
524
00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:50,846
I manage to grab the gun
while you're looking at the jewels.
525
00:33:51,014 --> 00:33:53,390
There's a struggle.
The gun goes off.
526
00:33:53,891 --> 00:33:56,018
Suddenly, I realize you're dead.
527
00:33:56,185 --> 00:33:58,103
You're gonna shoot me.
528
00:33:58,271 --> 00:34:00,022
- What do you think?
- Why?
529
00:34:00,189 --> 00:34:03,775
I planned all this from the word go.
530
00:34:03,943 --> 00:34:09,865
I've always longed for
an intimate chat with a hairdresser.
531
00:34:10,033 --> 00:34:14,578
Especially a hairdresser
who is fucking my wife.
532
00:34:14,746 --> 00:34:16,121
I'm not a hairdresser!
533
00:34:16,289 --> 00:34:20,125
My wife is mine! She belongs to me!
534
00:34:20,293 --> 00:34:23,712
And I'm her husband!
535
00:34:24,714 --> 00:34:28,050
And what you've done is this.
536
00:34:29,552 --> 00:34:34,473
You've invited yourself
to attend your own death.
537
00:34:35,641 --> 00:34:37,309
Please.
538
00:34:37,477 --> 00:34:39,269
No, don't do it.
Please don't shoot me.
539
00:34:39,437 --> 00:34:43,982
Please don't shoot me, please!
I'll just get in my car and go, okay?
540
00:34:44,150 --> 00:34:46,151
That's all.
You'll never see me again.
541
00:34:46,652 --> 00:34:47,736
You're crazy.
542
00:34:47,904 --> 00:34:50,322
No, you're not crazy.
You just got things wrong.
543
00:34:50,490 --> 00:34:52,491
I don't want your wife. I hate women.
544
00:34:52,658 --> 00:34:54,659
You hear me?
I hate women. I hate your wife!
545
00:34:54,827 --> 00:34:57,579
You've absolutely
no reason to be jealous.
546
00:34:58,331 --> 00:35:01,833
Women are not my scene.
I'd rather do it with a dog or a goat.
547
00:35:02,001 --> 00:35:05,253
Or a boy I knew at school.
His name was Dooley.
548
00:35:05,421 --> 00:35:07,839
I called him Dolores.
I hate women!
549
00:35:08,341 --> 00:35:11,343
Honest. God's honor.
550
00:35:11,511 --> 00:35:13,011
Do you believe in God?
551
00:37:53,172 --> 00:37:54,589
Just shut up.
552
00:37:57,385 --> 00:38:00,303
I'm asking the questions, not you.
553
00:38:01,055 --> 00:38:04,474
- How long have you known him?
- I don't know him. I've never met him.
554
00:38:08,229 --> 00:38:10,563
What are you? A joker?
555
00:38:56,736 --> 00:38:58,236
Yes?
556
00:39:00,072 --> 00:39:01,865
Andrew Wyke?
557
00:39:02,033 --> 00:39:03,575
Yes.
558
00:39:03,743 --> 00:39:06,036
Detective Inspector Black.
559
00:39:06,203 --> 00:39:08,955
New Scotland Yard. Eddie Black.
560
00:39:10,750 --> 00:39:12,667
I'd like a word with you.
561
00:39:13,210 --> 00:39:14,627
A word?
562
00:39:14,795 --> 00:39:16,421
That's right.
563
00:39:17,214 --> 00:39:18,923
What about?
564
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:23,428
Can I come in?
565
00:39:24,847 --> 00:39:27,140
Yes. Yes, of course.
566
00:39:29,101 --> 00:39:30,143
Like a drink?
567
00:39:30,311 --> 00:39:32,312
Got any beer?
568
00:39:32,855 --> 00:39:35,357
Beer? Yes.
569
00:39:35,524 --> 00:39:36,900
You're the writer.
570
00:39:37,777 --> 00:39:39,986
You write crime books.
571
00:39:40,154 --> 00:39:42,238
That's right.
572
00:39:42,406 --> 00:39:44,616
I've read a couple.
573
00:39:45,117 --> 00:39:47,077
Right on the button.
574
00:39:47,244 --> 00:39:49,579
Oh, that's a great compliment.
575
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,708
How do you know so much about it?
576
00:39:53,876 --> 00:39:55,126
What?
577
00:39:55,294 --> 00:39:56,878
Villainy.
578
00:39:57,046 --> 00:39:59,339
Crime. Horror.
579
00:40:01,092 --> 00:40:06,012
Imagination.
580
00:40:06,180 --> 00:40:07,472
Clever.
581
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,599
I do my best.
582
00:40:10,643 --> 00:40:12,811
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
583
00:40:18,484 --> 00:40:21,444
I see you got
a broken window up there.
584
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,407
Tropical storm the other night.
585
00:40:25,574 --> 00:40:27,951
Bit of a hurricane, terrifying.
586
00:40:28,119 --> 00:40:30,954
A great branch broke off a big tree ...
587
00:40:31,122 --> 00:40:33,665
and flew through the air
through the skylight ...
588
00:40:34,166 --> 00:40:36,126
as you can see.
589
00:40:36,293 --> 00:40:37,585
Act of God.
590
00:40:37,753 --> 00:40:39,462
Had it in for you, did he?
591
00:40:39,630 --> 00:40:41,506
- Who?
- God.
592
00:40:41,674 --> 00:40:43,883
Oh, yes, he's always been
a vicious bastard.
593
00:40:44,051 --> 00:40:45,510
You know what God's trouble is?
594
00:40:45,678 --> 00:40:47,637
- What?
- He has no father.
595
00:40:47,805 --> 00:40:51,224
He has no family roots.
He's rootless.
596
00:40:51,392 --> 00:40:55,103
Nowhere to hang his hat,
poor bugger. I pity him.
597
00:40:55,271 --> 00:40:58,398
That's a very interesting
philosophical speculation.
598
00:40:58,566 --> 00:41:01,359
Wait a minute.
Aren't you a well-known detective?
599
00:41:01,527 --> 00:41:03,445
No.
600
00:41:03,612 --> 00:41:07,699
Not me, mate.
You're thinking of another bloke.
601
00:41:08,367 --> 00:41:11,536
Haven't I seen your picture
in the newspaper?
602
00:41:13,164 --> 00:41:15,540
Do you want to know
my opinion of the newspapers?
603
00:41:15,708 --> 00:41:17,292
What?
604
00:41:18,919 --> 00:41:22,338
Journalists are a bunch
of prick-teasing cocksuckers.
605
00:41:22,756 --> 00:41:23,965
No.
606
00:41:24,133 --> 00:41:25,383
That's right.
607
00:41:25,551 --> 00:41:28,678
I'm sorry, but isn't that
a contradiction in terms?
608
00:41:28,846 --> 00:41:30,555
Is it?
609
00:41:32,892 --> 00:41:34,142
So you're not well-known?
610
00:41:34,310 --> 00:41:36,394
No, I'm a common-or-garden copper.
611
00:41:36,562 --> 00:41:40,231
I just catch sex criminals, perverts ...
612
00:41:40,399 --> 00:41:41,858
homicidal maniacs.
613
00:41:42,026 --> 00:41:45,361
And what do you do with them
when you catch them?
614
00:41:45,529 --> 00:41:48,239
I generally cut their balls off.
615
00:41:49,825 --> 00:41:51,618
I see.
616
00:41:59,502 --> 00:42:02,879
So how can I help you?
617
00:42:03,047 --> 00:42:05,507
Yes, I think you can help me.
I think you can.
618
00:42:05,674 --> 00:42:07,050
How?
619
00:42:07,218 --> 00:42:08,927
I'm looking into a disappearance.
620
00:42:09,094 --> 00:42:10,094
Disappearance?
621
00:42:10,262 --> 00:42:13,556
Man called Tindle. Milo Tindle.
622
00:42:13,724 --> 00:42:17,310
Sorry, I didn't get the name.
What was it?
623
00:42:17,478 --> 00:42:19,103
Tindle.
624
00:42:20,022 --> 00:42:22,565
Tindle. Tindle ...
625
00:42:23,817 --> 00:42:25,443
What about him?
626
00:42:25,611 --> 00:42:26,986
Do you know him?
627
00:42:27,154 --> 00:42:29,614
Know him? Absolutely not.
628
00:42:29,782 --> 00:42:31,574
- You mean you've never met him?
- Never.
629
00:42:31,742 --> 00:42:33,117
Never even heard of him.
630
00:42:33,285 --> 00:42:34,953
- That's funny.
- Why?
631
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,914
Well, he was staying
at the Red Lion in the village ...
632
00:42:38,082 --> 00:42:39,916
where he mentioned
to the landlord ...
633
00:42:40,084 --> 00:42:42,126
he was coming to see you
three nights ago.
634
00:42:42,294 --> 00:42:43,503
He hasn't been seen since.
635
00:42:43,671 --> 00:42:46,464
His bag is still in his room,
shaving kit, all that.
636
00:42:46,632 --> 00:42:47,757
He was coming to see me?
637
00:42:47,925 --> 00:42:49,634
That's right.
638
00:42:49,802 --> 00:42:51,261
He mentioned it to the landlord?
639
00:42:51,428 --> 00:42:53,763
Why would he mention such a thing
to the landlord?
640
00:42:53,931 --> 00:42:57,100
Well, you're a famous writer
and you're well known in the district.
641
00:42:57,268 --> 00:42:58,977
So how can you help me on this?
642
00:42:59,144 --> 00:43:01,521
No one came to see me.
I've no idea who this man is.
643
00:43:01,689 --> 00:43:05,233
And I know no one called Tindle.
644
00:43:05,401 --> 00:43:07,277
You don't, eh?
645
00:43:15,744 --> 00:43:17,996
What are you? A joker?
646
00:43:18,163 --> 00:43:19,664
What do you mean?
647
00:43:19,832 --> 00:43:22,500
I mean you're pretty quick
on your feet.
648
00:43:22,668 --> 00:43:25,712
You should have been
a ballet dancer.
649
00:43:25,879 --> 00:43:29,173
I can just see you doing pirouettes.
650
00:43:30,217 --> 00:43:33,261
- Ever worn a pair of tights?
- Not me.
651
00:43:36,223 --> 00:43:38,016
They'd suit you.
652
00:43:39,643 --> 00:43:40,852
Nice house.
653
00:43:41,020 --> 00:43:42,520
Thanks.
654
00:43:43,439 --> 00:43:45,898
- Design it yourself?
- It's 18th-century.
655
00:43:46,066 --> 00:43:49,152
No, no, I meant this. The inside.
656
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:50,361
That was my wife.
657
00:43:50,529 --> 00:43:52,905
Oh, your wife.
Is she here, by the way?
658
00:43:53,073 --> 00:43:54,157
No.
659
00:43:54,325 --> 00:43:55,867
Popped up to London?
660
00:43:56,035 --> 00:43:57,577
She's not here.
661
00:43:57,745 --> 00:44:00,496
She's an interior decorator, then?
662
00:44:00,664 --> 00:44:02,206
Something like that.
663
00:44:04,710 --> 00:44:07,045
It's a great gift, isn't it?
664
00:44:08,422 --> 00:44:10,590
You're a lucky man.
665
00:44:12,217 --> 00:44:14,135
You got an ashtray?
666
00:44:20,351 --> 00:44:22,560
I'm ready for another beer.
667
00:44:28,817 --> 00:44:30,985
A man was passing your house
three nights ago.
668
00:44:31,153 --> 00:44:33,404
He said he heard shots.
669
00:44:33,572 --> 00:44:35,198
Passed my house?
670
00:44:35,366 --> 00:44:38,701
How could he do that?
It's private property.
671
00:44:38,869 --> 00:44:41,287
He were taking a shortcut.
672
00:44:41,455 --> 00:44:42,830
I think he's a poacher.
673
00:44:42,998 --> 00:44:45,458
Anyway, says he heard shots.
674
00:44:45,626 --> 00:44:47,460
What kind of shots?
675
00:44:47,628 --> 00:44:48,670
Gunshots.
676
00:44:48,837 --> 00:44:50,588
- Fantasy.
- Really?
677
00:44:50,756 --> 00:44:52,924
Bullshit. Codswallop.
678
00:44:53,092 --> 00:44:55,885
Who is this man?
Are you sure he exists?
679
00:44:56,053 --> 00:44:58,346
Oh, he exists, all right.
680
00:44:58,514 --> 00:44:59,681
By the way, cheers.
681
00:44:59,848 --> 00:45:01,432
Cheers.
682
00:45:05,854 --> 00:45:08,439
I do want to ask you
one more question.
683
00:45:17,616 --> 00:45:19,033
Ask.
684
00:45:19,201 --> 00:45:21,953
You do know your wife's
living in London with another man?
685
00:45:24,164 --> 00:45:26,124
That is my business.
686
00:45:26,291 --> 00:45:29,085
My private life is my business.
687
00:45:29,253 --> 00:45:30,795
Do you know the name of this man?
688
00:45:30,963 --> 00:45:33,464
Why should I answer
these questions?
689
00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:38,302
You don't have to,
but you'd be better off if you did.
690
00:45:42,891 --> 00:45:45,393
I don't know the man's name.
691
00:45:45,811 --> 00:45:47,645
I never asked.
692
00:45:49,565 --> 00:45:53,651
So you do admit that your wife's
living in London with another man?
693
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,156
Yes. Yes.
694
00:45:58,323 --> 00:45:59,991
So what?
695
00:46:01,910 --> 00:46:06,330
Well, I can tell you the man's name.
696
00:46:12,004 --> 00:46:14,046
It's Tindle.
697
00:46:14,631 --> 00:46:16,090
Milo Tindle.
698
00:46:21,096 --> 00:46:23,514
- Is it?
- Yeah.
699
00:46:24,683 --> 00:46:27,018
The bloke who's disappeared.
700
00:46:27,186 --> 00:46:30,188
The bloke who said
he was coming to see you.
701
00:46:30,355 --> 00:46:33,691
We found this note in his room.
702
00:46:33,859 --> 00:46:35,693
At the pub.
703
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:38,988
"I look forward to meeting you.
704
00:46:39,156 --> 00:46:42,325
Come to the house Friday, 6:30.
705
00:46:42,534 --> 00:46:44,202
Wyke."
706
00:46:44,745 --> 00:46:47,121
Is this your handwriting?
707
00:46:48,373 --> 00:46:52,084
- It is.
- Do you remember writing this note?
708
00:46:52,669 --> 00:46:54,045
How could I forget?
709
00:46:54,213 --> 00:46:56,255
You forgot earlier.
710
00:46:56,423 --> 00:46:59,133
You said you didn't know him.
711
00:46:59,301 --> 00:47:01,969
You said you'd never met him.
712
00:47:21,073 --> 00:47:22,573
I was lying.
713
00:47:28,413 --> 00:47:30,832
Lying to the police.
714
00:47:31,875 --> 00:47:34,126
That will get you nowhere.
715
00:47:38,090 --> 00:47:40,299
I don't understand you,
mate, honest.
716
00:47:40,467 --> 00:47:43,427
You're a clever man.
You write clever books.
717
00:47:43,595 --> 00:47:45,972
But you've made a balls-up
of this one, haven't you?
718
00:47:46,431 --> 00:47:47,682
Have I?
719
00:47:47,850 --> 00:47:51,185
Tindle came to see you
three nights ago.
720
00:47:51,353 --> 00:47:53,771
- I knew him as Tindolini.
- Oh, I see.
721
00:47:53,939 --> 00:47:55,773
- He had an Italian father.
- Get away.
722
00:47:55,941 --> 00:47:58,609
A traditional
Italian hairdressing family.
723
00:47:58,777 --> 00:48:02,238
- Is he a hairdresser himself?
- I think he is.
724
00:48:02,406 --> 00:48:05,074
He didn't come all the way here
to do your hair, did he?
725
00:48:05,242 --> 00:48:07,493
Not at all, not at all.
726
00:48:08,620 --> 00:48:12,456
So, what did you two do
when you got together?
727
00:48:15,252 --> 00:48:16,711
We played a game.
728
00:48:17,087 --> 00:48:19,922
- A game?
- A game with a knife and a gun.
729
00:48:20,090 --> 00:48:21,632
- A lethal game?
- No.
730
00:48:22,092 --> 00:48:23,718
Just a bit of fun, that's all.
731
00:48:23,886 --> 00:48:26,304
Okay, a bit of fun.
732
00:48:26,471 --> 00:48:28,306
So he came to see you.
733
00:48:28,473 --> 00:48:31,976
You played a game
with a knife and a gun.
734
00:48:32,144 --> 00:48:35,229
Three shots were fired,
then he disappeared.
735
00:48:35,397 --> 00:48:36,606
So where is he?
736
00:48:36,773 --> 00:48:39,817
- Probably cuddling my wife.
- That's the one thing he's not doing.
737
00:48:40,235 --> 00:48:41,736
- How do you know?
- I've seen her.
738
00:48:41,904 --> 00:48:43,154
He was nowhere in sight.
739
00:48:45,449 --> 00:48:47,658
No. She's an anxious woman.
740
00:48:48,327 --> 00:48:50,745
She knew he was coming
to see you, you see.
741
00:48:50,913 --> 00:48:54,457
In fact, she insisted
that he come to see you ...
742
00:48:54,625 --> 00:48:56,584
as I know you know.
743
00:48:59,421 --> 00:49:02,006
She thinks you may have killed him.
744
00:49:02,507 --> 00:49:05,593
She thinks you're round the bend.
745
00:49:06,470 --> 00:49:08,679
She thinks
you're a very dangerous man.
746
00:49:08,847 --> 00:49:10,181
Me? She's joking.
747
00:49:11,975 --> 00:49:14,810
So tell me, between ourselves ...
748
00:49:15,312 --> 00:49:17,104
did you kill him?
749
00:49:19,399 --> 00:49:21,859
I'll tell you exactly what I did.
750
00:49:22,027 --> 00:49:24,278
I pretended to kill him.
751
00:49:24,446 --> 00:49:28,532
I shot him with a blank.
I frightened the shit out of him.
752
00:49:29,076 --> 00:49:32,244
Your man was right.
Your spy, whoever he was.
753
00:49:32,412 --> 00:49:33,955
There were three shots.
754
00:49:34,122 --> 00:49:37,208
The first two were real.
The third one was blank.
755
00:49:38,418 --> 00:49:42,046
He was terrified.
When I shot him, he fainted.
756
00:49:42,214 --> 00:49:44,840
When he came round
I gave him a drink, pat on the bum ...
757
00:49:45,467 --> 00:49:49,720
he left the house, his tail, if you
want to call it that, between his legs.
758
00:49:49,888 --> 00:49:51,514
And I haven't seen him since.
759
00:49:51,682 --> 00:49:54,308
You gave him a pat on the bum?
760
00:49:54,476 --> 00:49:55,726
Metaphorically.
761
00:49:55,894 --> 00:49:58,896
You gave him
a metaphorical pat on the bum?
762
00:49:59,064 --> 00:50:00,815
- Sure.
- How did he take it?
763
00:50:00,983 --> 00:50:02,858
- What?
- The pat.
764
00:50:03,402 --> 00:50:07,863
He was fine. He told me that
it was game, set and match to me.
765
00:50:08,699 --> 00:50:11,701
So this guy had a sense of humor,
is that what you're saying?
766
00:50:11,868 --> 00:50:14,704
Oh, yes. He left the house
with a twinkle in his eye.
767
00:50:14,871 --> 00:50:18,040
So tell me,
what was the point of all this?
768
00:50:18,208 --> 00:50:19,250
Humiliation.
769
00:50:19,418 --> 00:50:21,168
It's nice to see your wife's lover ...
770
00:50:21,336 --> 00:50:24,213
a shivering, frightened,
fucking wreck in front of you.
771
00:50:24,381 --> 00:50:26,215
As a matter of fact, I liked him.
772
00:50:26,675 --> 00:50:28,092
I thought he was attractive.
773
00:50:28,260 --> 00:50:30,261
I thought we could have
become good friends.
774
00:50:30,762 --> 00:50:35,599
The shortest way to a man's heart,
as I'm sure you know, is humiliation.
775
00:50:35,767 --> 00:50:38,227
It binds you together.
776
00:50:40,689 --> 00:50:43,482
You found him attractive?
777
00:50:43,650 --> 00:50:47,486
I put myself in my wife's shoes,
in a manner of speaking.
778
00:50:47,654 --> 00:50:51,407
I was trying to find out
what attracted her to him.
779
00:50:53,493 --> 00:50:55,327
- And did you?
- Oh, yes.
780
00:50:55,495 --> 00:50:58,330
He was really terribly sweet.
781
00:50:58,498 --> 00:51:01,959
- I could see why she fancied him.
- I could see why he fancies her.
782
00:51:03,462 --> 00:51:05,588
- Really?
- Found her very tasty myself.
783
00:51:06,256 --> 00:51:08,507
- Is that so?
- Oh, yes.
784
00:51:08,675 --> 00:51:11,135
Sumptuous. Ready for action.
785
00:51:13,096 --> 00:51:15,890
I mean,
I'm an experienced detective.
786
00:51:16,058 --> 00:51:19,101
So guess what I detected.
787
00:51:19,269 --> 00:51:20,478
What?
788
00:51:20,645 --> 00:51:24,023
That she's in love
with her own body.
789
00:51:24,191 --> 00:51:26,901
Makes her dizzy with excitement.
790
00:51:30,655 --> 00:51:32,573
You detected all this
in five minutes?
791
00:51:32,741 --> 00:51:35,493
Well, 35. Perhaps even 45.
792
00:51:35,660 --> 00:51:39,497
Well, let's call it 55
or even a little bit longer.
793
00:51:39,998 --> 00:51:40,998
You stayed for tea?
794
00:51:41,166 --> 00:51:43,167
And cakes.
795
00:51:44,461 --> 00:51:52,009
Yeah.
796
00:51:52,177 --> 00:51:53,844
Must be funny for you to know ...
797
00:51:54,012 --> 00:51:57,723
your own wife's getting a going-over
from another man on a regular basis.
798
00:51:57,891 --> 00:51:59,350
Going-over? I don't follow.
799
00:51:59,518 --> 00:52:00,851
You don't?
800
00:52:01,019 --> 00:52:02,561
Not a phrase I'm familiar with.
801
00:52:02,729 --> 00:52:06,107
- Means being fucked.
- You mean like in sexual intercourse?
802
00:52:06,274 --> 00:52:09,652
Yes, the old one-two.
In like a lion, out like a lamb.
803
00:52:09,820 --> 00:52:12,446
I must say, you have
a great gift for language.
804
00:52:12,614 --> 00:52:13,864
Did you learn it at school?
805
00:52:14,032 --> 00:52:15,866
The hard school. Family life.
806
00:52:16,034 --> 00:52:18,786
- But you keep cheerful.
- You've got it, I keep cheerful.
807
00:52:18,954 --> 00:52:21,455
I've got an optimistic nature.
808
00:52:21,623 --> 00:52:24,166
You got to when you're a policeman.
Otherwise, you'd go mad.
809
00:52:24,334 --> 00:52:27,711
No, I'll tell you
what keeps me going.
810
00:52:29,381 --> 00:52:33,050
The chase. The thrill of the hunt
and the sudden shafts of bright light.
811
00:52:33,718 --> 00:52:38,639
For instance,
when I was talking to your wife ...
812
00:52:39,516 --> 00:52:41,934
Very attractive woman.
813
00:52:43,562 --> 00:52:45,729
Wonderful legs.
814
00:52:49,359 --> 00:52:52,069
She was crossing them at the time,
I remember.
815
00:52:52,237 --> 00:52:57,825
She suddenly said
you had a murderous nature.
816
00:53:00,036 --> 00:53:02,580
Now, that really
made my nose twitch.
817
00:53:02,747 --> 00:53:04,331
Itch?
818
00:53:05,917 --> 00:53:08,627
Twitch, mate.
819
00:53:09,087 --> 00:53:10,838
Twitch.
820
00:53:11,423 --> 00:53:14,300
So I'm looking at you
and I'm wondering ...
821
00:53:14,467 --> 00:53:16,760
what have you done
with the body?
822
00:53:18,138 --> 00:53:19,889
Where's the body?
823
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:22,683
Come on, I need to know.
824
00:53:23,143 --> 00:53:25,561
Where's the body?
What have you done with the body?
825
00:53:25,729 --> 00:53:26,770
There's no body.
826
00:53:26,938 --> 00:53:28,939
Don't fuck about!
827
00:53:29,107 --> 00:53:30,941
Don't bullshit me.
I won't stand for it.
828
00:53:31,109 --> 00:53:33,235
Where is it?
In the house or did you shift it?
829
00:53:33,403 --> 00:53:35,404
There is no body!
830
00:53:44,039 --> 00:53:47,124
Here, look at this.
You got holes in your walls.
831
00:53:50,045 --> 00:53:52,963
They're bullet holes.
Live bullet holes.
832
00:53:53,131 --> 00:53:55,299
I fired two live bullets
to set up the trick ...
833
00:53:55,467 --> 00:53:57,051
and one blank to complete it.
834
00:53:57,219 --> 00:53:59,720
It was a game, I told you.
I played it to the hilt.
835
00:53:59,888 --> 00:54:02,640
It's not worth playing
unless you play it to the hilt.
836
00:54:02,807 --> 00:54:04,975
- The third shot was a blank?
- That's right.
837
00:54:05,143 --> 00:54:06,185
- What's that?
- What?
838
00:54:06,353 --> 00:54:08,437
Blood. Dried blood!
839
00:54:08,605 --> 00:54:10,856
Some of it's not even dried.
It's still damp.
840
00:54:11,024 --> 00:54:12,900
- That's impossible.
- That's blood, chum.
841
00:54:13,068 --> 00:54:15,027
- Whose blood is it?
- It's impossible.
842
00:54:15,195 --> 00:54:16,695
It was a game. It was a blank.
843
00:54:16,863 --> 00:54:19,323
No, it was a game
with real bullets and real blood.
844
00:54:19,491 --> 00:54:20,824
This is a carve-up.
845
00:54:20,992 --> 00:54:24,787
Let's see what else
is new around here.
846
00:54:25,330 --> 00:54:27,164
Hello, what's this?
847
00:54:27,999 --> 00:54:32,002
We've got a shirt, jacket and trousers
in the back of your cupboard.
848
00:54:32,170 --> 00:54:35,005
Very negligent of you, mate,
unless they're not yours.
849
00:54:35,173 --> 00:54:39,134
No, I don't think they're yours.
I think they belong to Tindle.
850
00:54:39,302 --> 00:54:42,054
You say he left the house
after you shot him.
851
00:54:42,222 --> 00:54:44,139
- Yes.
- Naked?
852
00:54:44,307 --> 00:54:45,766
I don't know how those got there.
853
00:54:45,934 --> 00:54:48,352
So you made him strip
before you shot him?
854
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:50,521
Part of the humiliation, was it?
855
00:54:50,689 --> 00:54:52,189
No. The thing is this.
856
00:54:52,357 --> 00:54:55,401
It might have started as a game,
but it got out of hand.
857
00:54:55,568 --> 00:54:57,903
The third shot was live!
858
00:54:58,071 --> 00:55:01,532
It killed him. So where's the body?
859
00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:03,826
I didn't kill him! He's alive!
860
00:55:03,994 --> 00:55:06,161
Bollocks. You're a joker, all right.
861
00:55:06,329 --> 00:55:07,871
A real joker.
862
00:55:08,039 --> 00:55:09,832
Come on, we're off to the station.
863
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,584
- There's something very wrong here.
- Hey, dead right.
864
00:55:12,752 --> 00:55:16,046
I'll tell you what you are.
You're fucked.
865
00:55:16,548 --> 00:55:17,548
Jesus Christ.
866
00:55:17,716 --> 00:55:20,009
Don't struggle, chum.
I'll have you for breakfast.
867
00:55:20,176 --> 00:55:21,510
There's something wrong here.
868
00:55:21,678 --> 00:55:25,639
You're up shit creek, Wyke.
You're up shit creek without a paddle.
869
00:55:28,977 --> 00:55:32,479
Look at you. All aquiver.
870
00:55:33,273 --> 00:55:35,441
Who's the dead duck?
871
00:55:39,154 --> 00:55:40,571
Jesus Christ.
872
00:55:44,159 --> 00:55:47,911
You're the dead duck.
873
00:55:50,623 --> 00:55:56,420
I just sucked you in
and blew you out in little bubbles.
874
00:55:56,588 --> 00:55:58,088
- It's you.
- It's me, all right.
875
00:55:58,256 --> 00:56:00,632
You bastard. You stinking bastard.
876
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:02,176
Just a little game, Andrew.
877
00:56:02,344 --> 00:56:04,303
- Just a little game.
- You shit.
878
00:56:04,471 --> 00:56:07,222
- I thought it might amuse you.
- You're a total shit.
879
00:56:07,390 --> 00:56:08,724
I know I am.
880
00:56:08,892 --> 00:56:12,561
- But you're also a genius.
- I know that too.
881
00:56:15,023 --> 00:56:17,316
When did you do this?
The clothes in the wardrobe?
882
00:56:17,484 --> 00:56:20,110
- The blood?
- The blood belongs to a pig's liver.
883
00:56:20,278 --> 00:56:22,446
But when did you do it?
How did you do it?
884
00:56:22,614 --> 00:56:25,616
I did it last night. I used that ladder.
I heard you snoring.
885
00:56:25,784 --> 00:56:28,869
Does Maggie know about this?
Your detective, was it her idea?
886
00:56:29,037 --> 00:56:31,455
- How much does she know?
- She knows nothing about it.
887
00:56:31,623 --> 00:56:34,792
Entirely my own idea.
888
00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:37,961
This is a game between us, old boy.
889
00:56:38,129 --> 00:56:40,964
Between you and me.
890
00:56:41,132 --> 00:56:43,634
Don't forget, I'm half Italian.
891
00:56:43,802 --> 00:56:45,469
We go in for revenge.
892
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:02,820
After all, you frightened
the life out of me deliberately.
893
00:57:02,987 --> 00:57:05,823
You fired two live bullets
into the wall ...
894
00:57:05,990 --> 00:57:09,743
and then you pointed
the gun at me.
895
00:57:09,911 --> 00:57:12,121
And then you fired.
896
00:57:15,959 --> 00:57:17,584
I don't like guns.
897
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,629
They kill you.
898
00:57:23,883 --> 00:57:25,551
Okay.
899
00:57:25,718 --> 00:57:28,262
So, what does this make the score?
900
00:57:29,305 --> 00:57:31,348
You've had your revenge.
901
00:57:31,516 --> 00:57:35,686
So, what do you reckon?
902
00:57:36,187 --> 00:57:38,147
One set all?
903
00:57:38,648 --> 00:57:41,024
No, no, you're way ahead.
904
00:57:41,818 --> 00:57:46,155
I only teased you with my inspector,
gave you a few goose pimples.
905
00:57:47,115 --> 00:57:48,699
But you frightened me to death.
906
00:57:50,952 --> 00:57:53,495
Did you really think
I was going to kill you?
907
00:57:53,663 --> 00:57:57,291
You fainted, you see.
It was a blank.
908
00:57:58,418 --> 00:58:01,545
I may be three games up
in the second set.
909
00:58:01,713 --> 00:58:02,754
If I had killed you ...
910
00:58:02,922 --> 00:58:06,258
I'd have to bury the body
in the garden or somewhere.
911
00:58:06,426 --> 00:58:07,468
Too exhausting.
912
00:58:07,635 --> 00:58:09,052
But you won the first, 6-love.
913
00:58:13,808 --> 00:58:16,351
So we're a long way
from one set all.
914
00:58:22,984 --> 00:58:26,028
By the way, I spoke to Maggie.
915
00:58:26,196 --> 00:58:29,114
I told her all about you.
916
00:58:29,282 --> 00:58:30,741
She loved it.
917
00:58:31,910 --> 00:58:33,076
Loved what?
918
00:58:33,578 --> 00:58:36,371
That I frightened the life out of you.
919
00:58:36,539 --> 00:58:37,873
That you pissed your pants.
920
00:58:39,876 --> 00:58:42,377
And that you actually fainted.
921
00:58:42,545 --> 00:58:45,506
She said to me,
"You mean he actually fainted?"
922
00:58:45,673 --> 00:58:48,425
I said, "Dead out,
he was scared shitless.
923
00:58:49,886 --> 00:58:51,428
Went out like a light."
924
00:58:52,889 --> 00:58:57,059
She laughed so much,
I thought she was gonna burst.
925
00:59:01,481 --> 00:59:05,442
Oh, incidentally,
she's coming back to me.
926
00:59:06,110 --> 00:59:07,444
Oh, is she?
927
00:59:07,612 --> 00:59:09,321
Yes, that's right.
928
00:59:09,489 --> 00:59:11,281
You know what she said about you?
929
00:59:11,449 --> 00:59:12,491
What?
930
00:59:12,659 --> 00:59:13,951
She said:
931
00:59:14,118 --> 00:59:17,538
"Faint heart never won fair lady."
932
00:59:19,999 --> 00:59:21,166
Is that a fact?
933
00:59:21,334 --> 00:59:22,626
Yeah.
934
00:59:24,462 --> 00:59:28,674
Listen, I want to
show you something.
935
00:59:29,133 --> 00:59:32,469
Go into your study and sit down.
936
00:59:34,639 --> 00:59:36,223
Go into my study?
937
00:59:37,725 --> 00:59:39,935
And sit down.
938
00:59:43,439 --> 00:59:46,400
- What are you doing?
- It's late at night.
939
00:59:46,568 --> 00:59:48,902
You're reading a book under a lamp.
Read something.
940
00:59:49,070 --> 00:59:51,655
- What's going on?
- Read a book.
941
00:59:51,823 --> 00:59:54,199
It's late at night.
You're reading a book.
942
00:59:54,367 --> 00:59:56,493
You hear something. You look up.
943
00:59:56,661 --> 00:59:58,453
It's me jumping off the ladder.
944
00:59:58,621 --> 01:00:00,247
You see me with this gun.
945
01:00:00,415 --> 01:00:04,459
You're caught like a rat in a trap.
You stare at the gun, you're paralyzed.
946
01:00:04,627 --> 01:00:05,961
I've come for the jewels.
947
01:00:06,129 --> 01:00:07,838
- Where is the safe?
- What jewels?
948
01:00:08,006 --> 01:00:09,381
The jewels. Where's the safe?
949
01:00:09,549 --> 01:00:11,008
- You know where it is.
- I don't.
950
01:00:11,175 --> 01:00:13,302
- You don't?
- Don't fuck me about, I mean it.
951
01:00:13,469 --> 01:00:15,012
Get up.
952
01:00:15,805 --> 01:00:18,181
You think this gun isn't real?
953
01:00:20,852 --> 01:00:22,769
Where is it?
954
01:00:23,521 --> 01:00:26,481
- Upstairs.
- Well, let's go upstairs.
955
01:00:27,191 --> 01:00:32,487
Get up these stairs
or I'll ram this gun right up your ass.
956
01:00:32,697 --> 01:00:35,991
- The safe is behind the fish tank.
- How am I gonna get to it?
957
01:00:36,159 --> 01:00:38,785
Well, you press the button
and the button moves the tank.
958
01:00:38,953 --> 01:00:41,204
Then press it.
959
01:00:41,372 --> 01:00:43,957
It's not working. It's out of ord --
960
01:00:45,376 --> 01:00:46,877
Are you a maniac? You're crazy.
961
01:00:47,045 --> 01:00:49,713
- Open it.
- I changed the combination yesterday.
962
01:00:49,881 --> 01:00:52,382
- What is it?
- I forgot. I can't remember.
963
01:00:52,550 --> 01:00:54,635
- Remember.
- It's the truth. I can't remember.
964
01:00:54,802 --> 01:00:55,886
Remember!
965
01:00:58,973 --> 01:01:00,891
What are you doing?
What are you gonna do?
966
01:01:01,059 --> 01:01:05,228
I've broken into your house because
I know you have jewels in a safe.
967
01:01:06,064 --> 01:01:08,732
I have inside information.
I want them.
968
01:01:08,900 --> 01:01:11,318
Remember the combination
and open it.
969
01:01:18,493 --> 01:01:20,494
It was a blank.
970
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,580
The next one's real.
971
01:01:42,100 --> 01:01:43,934
There's a good boy.
972
01:02:02,036 --> 01:02:04,454
So, what are you writing
at the moment?
973
01:02:09,419 --> 01:02:11,128
What am I writing?
974
01:02:11,587 --> 01:02:13,630
Yes, I'm very interested in literature.
975
01:02:18,136 --> 01:02:20,804
Do you mind if I have a drink?
976
01:02:20,972 --> 01:02:24,599
Sure. It's your house.
977
01:02:24,976 --> 01:02:29,146
I'm always interested
in the people I rob.
978
01:02:29,355 --> 01:02:33,358
Like I'm always interested
in the husbands of the wives I fuck.
979
01:02:34,986 --> 01:02:36,695
Are you really?
980
01:02:37,447 --> 01:02:39,114
Well, well.
981
01:02:40,283 --> 01:02:41,867
Cheers.
982
01:02:48,416 --> 01:02:52,961
So, what are you writing?
983
01:02:57,675 --> 01:03:01,344
It's the story of a pathological killer.
984
01:03:01,512 --> 01:03:04,639
- I call it The Smiling Man.
- Does he come to a bad end?
985
01:03:04,807 --> 01:03:07,684
He dies during the act of love.
Like countless others.
986
01:03:07,852 --> 01:03:09,102
Countless others, eh?
987
01:03:09,270 --> 01:03:11,688
I can see you've researched
the subject thoroughly.
988
01:03:12,774 --> 01:03:16,193
- What subject?
- Death in orgasm.
989
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:20,155
Isn't that a beautiful notion?
To die in the arms of your beloved.
990
01:03:20,323 --> 01:03:23,992
Can you imagine
anything more poignant?
991
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:26,328
- I can't, no.
- No.
992
01:03:26,496 --> 01:03:30,874
- You're a married man, aren't you?
- Yeah, been married 13 years.
993
01:03:31,042 --> 01:03:32,292
It was love at first sight.
994
01:03:32,460 --> 01:03:33,835
- Very moving.
- Yeah.
995
01:03:34,003 --> 01:03:36,213
And we're still in love.
Like two peas in a pod.
996
01:03:36,380 --> 01:03:38,965
Someone told me
your wife has a lover.
997
01:03:39,133 --> 01:03:41,176
- She has, yeah.
- Do you know him?
998
01:03:41,344 --> 01:03:44,221
No, I've never met him.
He's some sort of Italian.
999
01:03:44,388 --> 01:03:46,723
Called Tandoori or something.
1000
01:03:46,891 --> 01:03:48,892
One of the Bombay Tandooris?
1001
01:03:49,060 --> 01:03:51,061
You've got it, yeah.
1002
01:03:51,229 --> 01:03:54,105
You know something? I've never met
an artistic burglar before.
1003
01:03:54,273 --> 01:03:56,399
That's fantastic.
1004
01:03:57,610 --> 01:03:59,528
- What's your background?
- Me?
1005
01:03:59,695 --> 01:04:02,113
- You.
- Irish. Connemara.
1006
01:04:02,281 --> 01:04:04,491
Spanish descent.
By way of Uganda.
1007
01:04:04,659 --> 01:04:06,368
My grandparents were slaves.
1008
01:04:06,536 --> 01:04:09,579
My mother was a dark-eyed,
dusky beauty.
1009
01:04:09,747 --> 01:04:13,416
- Were you breastfed?
- Oh, sure, like a baby.
1010
01:04:15,044 --> 01:04:20,674
Shall I tell you what I want you to do
with these jewels?
1011
01:04:21,592 --> 01:04:23,093
What?
1012
01:04:35,481 --> 01:04:40,777
You look so charming.
1013
01:04:47,243 --> 01:04:48,785
How do you want it?
1014
01:04:48,953 --> 01:04:50,537
Like this?
1015
01:04:50,705 --> 01:04:53,081
Or shorter?
1016
01:04:54,125 --> 01:04:58,420
How about this?
Or even shorter like a halter?
1017
01:04:58,588 --> 01:05:02,090
- You're hurting me.
- Oh, am I hurting you?
1018
01:05:02,258 --> 01:05:05,969
- Yes. Don't hurt me.
- Are you sensitive to pain?
1019
01:05:06,137 --> 01:05:08,305
Very. Very.
1020
01:05:08,472 --> 01:05:11,016
I wouldn't want to hurt you,
sweetheart.
1021
01:05:11,183 --> 01:05:13,685
You're too much fun.
1022
01:05:13,853 --> 01:05:17,689
- Am I really?
- Oh, yes. You're wicked.
1023
01:05:17,857 --> 01:05:20,817
I like that. Yeah.
1024
01:05:21,986 --> 01:05:24,029
Do you know something?
1025
01:05:25,197 --> 01:05:28,325
I don't think
these earrings really suit me.
1026
01:05:30,286 --> 01:05:33,413
You're right. Take them off.
1027
01:05:37,376 --> 01:05:39,127
I don't ...
1028
01:05:39,295 --> 01:05:43,965
I don't think this bracelet
is really my style either.
1029
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:48,261
But the necklace is nice.
1030
01:05:49,639 --> 01:05:50,764
I'm not totally sure.
1031
01:05:50,932 --> 01:05:55,852
Listen, you can play with these jewels
until the cows come home.
1032
01:05:56,020 --> 01:06:00,523
They're yours.
Do what you like with them.
1033
01:06:03,069 --> 01:06:06,196
But I thought you'd just stolen them.
1034
01:06:06,364 --> 01:06:08,865
No, no! It was a game!
1035
01:06:09,033 --> 01:06:14,037
It was just a game!
I thought it might amuse you.
1036
01:06:31,222 --> 01:06:32,722
Well ...
1037
01:06:34,266 --> 01:06:37,936
Aren't you the wicked one?
1038
01:06:45,361 --> 01:06:46,653
You remember what I said?
1039
01:06:48,322 --> 01:06:51,700
You won the first set, 6-love.
I was 3-love up in the second.
1040
01:06:51,867 --> 01:06:56,287
Well, now it's one set all.
1041
01:07:06,424 --> 01:07:09,968
But who's going to win the third set?
1042
01:07:12,179 --> 01:07:14,264
Remains to be seen.
1043
01:07:33,159 --> 01:07:34,576
You like games, don't you?
1044
01:07:35,870 --> 01:07:38,329
Some. Not all.
1045
01:07:38,497 --> 01:07:41,041
But you like being in charge ...
1046
01:07:41,208 --> 01:07:42,959
of the game?
1047
01:07:44,336 --> 01:07:46,671
Oh, yes. Sure.
1048
01:07:48,382 --> 01:07:51,426
I like a man who wants
to be in charge of things.
1049
01:07:51,635 --> 01:07:54,304
- Do you?
- Yes, I do.
1050
01:07:55,639 --> 01:07:57,849
Listen, you've met my wife, I think.
1051
01:07:59,143 --> 01:08:03,021
I have met her. Yes.
1052
01:08:03,230 --> 01:08:06,066
- Did she say if she had a husband?
- Yes.
1053
01:08:06,233 --> 01:08:08,860
Yeah, she said she had a husband.
1054
01:08:09,653 --> 01:08:12,322
How did she describe him?
1055
01:08:14,325 --> 01:08:16,743
Remote. Cold.
1056
01:08:16,911 --> 01:08:19,829
Malevolent. Spiteful.
1057
01:08:20,289 --> 01:08:22,916
Arrogant. Ruthless.
1058
01:08:23,084 --> 01:08:24,918
Jealous. Paranoid.
1059
01:08:25,086 --> 01:08:28,963
Criminal tendencies.
Mentally unsound.
1060
01:08:29,173 --> 01:08:30,590
That's me, all right.
1061
01:08:34,970 --> 01:08:37,388
You know something?
I like your mind.
1062
01:08:38,099 --> 01:08:40,225
- Do you really?
- It excites me.
1063
01:08:40,643 --> 01:08:42,519
I like the way you go about things.
1064
01:08:44,313 --> 01:08:47,649
You mean you like my style?
1065
01:08:47,817 --> 01:08:50,026
Oh, I like your style.
1066
01:08:50,194 --> 01:08:52,695
I like it very much.
1067
01:08:53,823 --> 01:08:57,534
Look, I want to
make you a proposition.
1068
01:08:58,494 --> 01:08:59,994
What?
1069
01:09:02,331 --> 01:09:04,415
I want to show you something.
1070
01:09:08,671 --> 01:09:12,465
- Can't you put that gun down now?
- No.
1071
01:09:12,633 --> 01:09:15,760
God, you're so strong, so ruthless,
aren't you?
1072
01:09:15,928 --> 01:09:16,970
Yes.
1073
01:09:17,138 --> 01:09:19,889
Have you any idea
what my proposition is going to be?
1074
01:09:20,057 --> 01:09:22,433
- No.
- Are you excited?
1075
01:09:22,601 --> 01:09:23,726
I'd say intrigued.
1076
01:09:23,894 --> 01:09:26,646
I think you're going to be excited
very much.
1077
01:09:26,814 --> 01:09:30,233
This is the guest suite.
1078
01:09:31,861 --> 01:09:35,238
Isn't it nice? Look at the view.
1079
01:09:36,282 --> 01:09:38,408
There's a private bathroom.
A small fridge.
1080
01:09:38,576 --> 01:09:43,788
A bottle of Chilean Chardonnay
is chilling in there at this very moment.
1081
01:09:45,207 --> 01:09:48,001
This suite is uninhabited.
1082
01:09:49,461 --> 01:09:51,087
It has no occupant.
1083
01:09:56,844 --> 01:09:58,595
How would you like it?
1084
01:10:02,016 --> 01:10:03,308
Me?
1085
01:10:05,603 --> 01:10:07,020
Yes, yes.
1086
01:10:07,188 --> 01:10:11,983
I think I've come to the conclusion
that you're my kind of person.
1087
01:10:14,987 --> 01:10:16,529
Am I, now?
1088
01:10:17,114 --> 01:10:19,657
Well, I told you.
I liked your mind. It excited me.
1089
01:10:19,825 --> 01:10:23,703
I need intellectual excitement.
1090
01:10:23,871 --> 01:10:26,164
Intellectual stimulation.
1091
01:10:28,167 --> 01:10:30,084
Well, they don't grow on trees.
1092
01:10:30,836 --> 01:10:33,129
I'm a rich man.
1093
01:10:33,297 --> 01:10:35,340
What do you want to do?
1094
01:10:35,507 --> 01:10:38,134
I can subsidize anything you want.
1095
01:10:39,178 --> 01:10:41,888
You want to open a bookshop
in the village?
1096
01:10:42,681 --> 01:10:46,309
An art gallery?
Or, of course, a little theater.
1097
01:10:46,769 --> 01:10:47,936
You're a wonderful actor.
1098
01:10:48,103 --> 01:10:52,065
You could choose all the plays
and play all the leading parts.
1099
01:10:53,567 --> 01:10:57,862
But this would be your home.
1100
01:11:02,493 --> 01:11:05,161
And this would be your bedroom.
1101
01:11:10,209 --> 01:11:13,461
You're asking me to live here?
1102
01:11:15,172 --> 01:11:18,633
Yes, I'm asking you to stay with me.
1103
01:11:19,343 --> 01:11:23,638
Oh, we would also travel.
I mean, Jamaica, Swiss Alps.
1104
01:11:23,806 --> 01:11:25,765
I bet you're a wonderful skier,
aren't you?
1105
01:11:25,933 --> 01:11:28,017
You could ski
to your heart's content.
1106
01:11:28,185 --> 01:11:30,061
Swim in the blue Caribbean.
1107
01:11:30,813 --> 01:11:34,190
I'd be waiting at our table
with a Scotch on the rocks.
1108
01:11:34,358 --> 01:11:36,526
Or a chilled Chilean Chardonnay.
1109
01:11:39,363 --> 01:11:41,197
The world would be your oyster.
1110
01:11:43,867 --> 01:11:46,244
But what about Maggie?
1111
01:11:47,955 --> 01:11:49,789
Forget her.
1112
01:11:49,957 --> 01:11:52,000
Let her rot.
1113
01:11:52,710 --> 01:11:54,335
Stay with me.
1114
01:11:54,503 --> 01:11:56,754
You're my kind of person.
1115
01:12:04,805 --> 01:12:07,181
It's quite tempting.
1116
01:12:17,526 --> 01:12:19,610
Hello?
1117
01:12:19,778 --> 01:12:21,321
Hi.
1118
01:12:23,240 --> 01:12:25,074
It's going okay.
1119
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:30,246
We're still talking.
1120
01:12:31,582 --> 01:12:34,667
We're on the right track.
It's all going okay.
1121
01:12:35,586 --> 01:12:37,628
Don't come down.
1122
01:12:37,796 --> 01:12:40,757
That would be a mistake.
It's all going fine.
1123
01:12:42,843 --> 01:12:44,802
I love you too.
1124
01:12:46,263 --> 01:12:47,847
I am.
1125
01:12:48,557 --> 01:12:50,516
I'm kissing you.
1126
01:12:51,602 --> 01:12:53,478
Oh, yes.
1127
01:12:54,355 --> 01:12:56,773
I can taste your mouth.
1128
01:13:01,987 --> 01:13:03,946
What the hell did she want?
1129
01:13:04,490 --> 01:13:06,741
She wants that divorce.
1130
01:13:08,619 --> 01:13:10,620
What about my proposition?
1131
01:13:14,625 --> 01:13:17,210
Well, I like the idea of Jamaica.
1132
01:13:17,378 --> 01:13:20,838
- What about Barbados?
- Well, and Barbados, and Antigua.
1133
01:13:21,006 --> 01:13:23,549
Yeah, it's true. There's so many
places I haven't seen.
1134
01:13:23,717 --> 01:13:26,636
Hollywood. Saint Petersburg.
1135
01:13:26,804 --> 01:13:29,305
The Côte d'Azur, Coney Island.
1136
01:13:29,473 --> 01:13:33,267
And I hear there's that wonderful hotel
in Scotland called Balmoral.
1137
01:13:33,435 --> 01:13:36,270
- That's where the queen lives.
- So bed and breakfast is out.
1138
01:13:36,438 --> 01:13:38,856
- It's on if you know the queen.
- I don't.
1139
01:13:39,024 --> 01:13:40,316
I do.
1140
01:13:41,026 --> 01:13:42,652
That's fantastic.
1141
01:13:45,364 --> 01:13:47,240
But seriously, though.
1142
01:13:47,408 --> 01:13:49,951
We could have
such a wonderful time together.
1143
01:13:50,119 --> 01:13:51,577
Venice? Disneyland?
1144
01:13:52,329 --> 01:13:54,789
Whatever you want.
Whatever you want.
1145
01:13:54,957 --> 01:13:55,998
Whoever you want.
1146
01:13:56,625 --> 01:13:59,460
I could introduce you
to whoever you want.
1147
01:13:59,628 --> 01:14:02,171
Kissinger? Dick Cheney?
1148
01:14:02,339 --> 01:14:03,548
Madonna? Mike Tyson?
1149
01:14:03,715 --> 01:14:04,757
- Yes.
- Yes?
1150
01:14:05,676 --> 01:14:09,887
I must say, that as offers go ...
1151
01:14:11,098 --> 01:14:14,142
it's quite tempting.
1152
01:14:16,728 --> 01:14:19,564
You're a naughty tempter,
aren't you?
1153
01:14:21,525 --> 01:14:25,945
I'm so glad you like my mind.
Not many people like my mind.
1154
01:14:26,113 --> 01:14:28,156
Quite a few people like my body ...
1155
01:14:28,323 --> 01:14:30,867
but I can't think of anyone
who likes my mind.
1156
01:14:32,202 --> 01:14:34,745
That makes you unique.
1157
01:14:35,581 --> 01:14:38,207
But then, of course,
you know what they say.
1158
01:14:38,375 --> 01:14:40,376
The mind is the body.
1159
01:14:41,378 --> 01:14:42,462
Is that what they say?
1160
01:14:42,629 --> 01:14:45,882
Somebody said something like it once.
Bullshit, of course. Anyway ...
1161
01:14:46,842 --> 01:14:50,470
Perhaps I am your sort of person.
Who knows?
1162
01:14:51,930 --> 01:14:56,434
But you would have
to be very nice to me.
1163
01:14:56,643 --> 01:15:00,688
For instance,
just at this moment, I need a drink.
1164
01:15:11,074 --> 01:15:13,075
You can get your own drink.
1165
01:15:13,243 --> 01:15:16,245
No, you get it for me
and I might be nice to you.
1166
01:15:16,413 --> 01:15:18,664
- Nice to me?
- That's what I said.
1167
01:15:18,832 --> 01:15:20,082
Whisky, please.
1168
01:15:39,228 --> 01:15:43,397
Can't deny, I can be
quite a congenial companion.
1169
01:15:43,565 --> 01:15:45,566
I really -- I can't deny it.
1170
01:15:48,403 --> 01:15:54,867
I could be quite a witty companion.
1171
01:15:55,786 --> 01:16:00,748
Would you like a witty companion?
1172
01:16:00,916 --> 01:16:05,753
- Very much.
- I'm particularly witty in the morning.
1173
01:16:05,921 --> 01:16:07,171
Would that suit you?
1174
01:16:08,382 --> 01:16:13,970
Some people hate wit in the morning.
What about you?
1175
01:16:14,137 --> 01:16:15,596
I love wit in the morning.
1176
01:16:17,474 --> 01:16:19,350
Over boiled eggs?
1177
01:16:21,895 --> 01:16:23,312
Do you like eggs?
1178
01:16:23,939 --> 01:16:24,981
Absolutely.
1179
01:16:30,153 --> 01:16:32,780
I'm a dab hand in the kitchen.
1180
01:16:33,323 --> 01:16:39,495
But you have to be nice to me
and get me a drink when I ask for it.
1181
01:17:02,269 --> 01:17:03,894
You see?
1182
01:17:05,355 --> 01:17:08,524
You can be really sweet ...
1183
01:17:08,692 --> 01:17:10,860
when you put your mind to it.
1184
01:17:11,028 --> 01:17:12,695
Cheers.
1185
01:17:17,951 --> 01:17:20,870
Listen, I can see what you're saying.
1186
01:17:21,038 --> 01:17:24,373
I can see why
you're inviting me to live with you.
1187
01:17:24,541 --> 01:17:27,001
I can see that you're lonely.
1188
01:17:27,169 --> 01:17:30,630
That you need looking after.
It's obvious.
1189
01:17:30,797 --> 01:17:34,717
You need someone
who would cater for your every whim.
1190
01:17:34,885 --> 01:17:36,844
Don't you?
1191
01:17:37,012 --> 01:17:38,512
I do.
1192
01:17:45,437 --> 01:17:48,564
Hello? Darling.
1193
01:17:48,732 --> 01:17:50,191
What?
1194
01:17:53,070 --> 01:17:54,695
Oh, is that so?
1195
01:17:54,863 --> 01:17:56,322
Are you?
1196
01:17:59,368 --> 01:18:01,369
I see.
1197
01:18:01,536 --> 01:18:03,245
Are you sure?
1198
01:18:03,413 --> 01:18:04,955
I see.
1199
01:18:05,666 --> 01:18:07,416
I got it.
1200
01:18:09,544 --> 01:18:12,588
I told you I got it. I understand.
1201
01:18:13,423 --> 01:18:15,007
Okay.
1202
01:18:15,801 --> 01:18:19,261
- Okay, I'll tell him.
- Tell me what?
1203
01:18:22,933 --> 01:18:26,352
- That she loves you.
- Is that so?
1204
01:18:26,520 --> 01:18:29,146
- What else did she say?
- Nothing.
1205
01:18:29,314 --> 01:18:30,564
- Nothing?
- Nothing.
1206
01:18:30,732 --> 01:18:34,276
Listen, for chrissake,
make up your mind.
1207
01:18:34,444 --> 01:18:38,781
I'm offering you something special.
Something very special.
1208
01:18:38,949 --> 01:18:42,702
We seal it with a handshake.
And she's nowhere.
1209
01:18:42,869 --> 01:18:46,622
We cut her out, you understand?
We cut her out of our lives.
1210
01:18:46,790 --> 01:18:48,958
Don't let her dominate you.
Be yourself.
1211
01:18:49,126 --> 01:18:51,836
- Be independent. Be free.
- Like you?
1212
01:18:52,003 --> 01:18:54,755
That's right. Be free like me.
1213
01:19:31,001 --> 01:19:35,045
I've always been attracted ...
1214
01:19:35,213 --> 01:19:38,048
to rich and powerful men.
1215
01:19:38,508 --> 01:19:41,343
Rich and powerful men
make all the girls quiver ...
1216
01:19:41,511 --> 01:19:44,430
like a jelly on a plate.
1217
01:19:44,598 --> 01:19:45,931
But you're not a girl.
1218
01:19:47,601 --> 01:19:51,854
Tickles the old cobblers, money.
1219
01:19:52,022 --> 01:19:56,150
- Girls don't have cobblers.
- You'd be surprised.
1220
01:20:01,198 --> 01:20:03,199
But you're not a girl.
1221
01:20:04,117 --> 01:20:06,285
I may be once.
1222
01:20:07,162 --> 01:20:09,622
Back in the good old days.
1223
01:20:11,291 --> 01:20:14,043
Maybe the good old days
are coming back.
1224
01:20:14,961 --> 01:20:17,004
Who knows?
1225
01:20:18,048 --> 01:20:19,840
Look ...
1226
01:20:22,552 --> 01:20:25,554
I'd really like to see your bed.
1227
01:20:26,389 --> 01:20:29,934
I mean, let me be quite clear.
1228
01:20:30,101 --> 01:20:34,021
This looks a very nice bed indeed.
1229
01:20:34,940 --> 01:20:37,566
But yours is bigger.
1230
01:20:39,653 --> 01:20:43,239
- Can I take another look?
- Sure.
1231
01:20:45,408 --> 01:20:47,535
Is this how you do it?
1232
01:20:53,708 --> 01:20:55,751
Miraculous.
1233
01:21:06,596 --> 01:21:09,348
I could really get to like this.
1234
01:21:09,516 --> 01:21:14,687
Of course,
this is the marriage bed, isn't it?
1235
01:21:15,856 --> 01:21:18,566
Is this where she took
your virginity?
1236
01:21:18,733 --> 01:21:21,068
Is this where your wife
deflowered you?
1237
01:21:21,236 --> 01:21:23,904
Is this where you were deflowered?
1238
01:21:25,782 --> 01:21:27,783
It's a lovely bed.
1239
01:21:28,618 --> 01:21:31,662
So bouncy.
1240
01:21:37,377 --> 01:21:42,965
I'm so touched that you've
offered me a place in your heart.
1241
01:21:43,133 --> 01:21:45,509
In your life.
1242
01:21:45,677 --> 01:21:47,636
I'm touched.
1243
01:21:58,982 --> 01:22:05,905
Take your hand off me.
1244
01:22:08,325 --> 01:22:11,118
Fuck off. Fuck off, you big poof!
1245
01:22:11,536 --> 01:22:14,955
Jesus. I come here
as an innocent bystander.
1246
01:22:15,123 --> 01:22:17,750
As a totally respectable individual.
1247
01:22:17,918 --> 01:22:21,503
A humble part-time hairdresser.
And you try to corrupt me.
1248
01:22:21,671 --> 01:22:24,590
You try to seduce me.
Do you know what you are?
1249
01:22:24,758 --> 01:22:25,799
You're a menace.
1250
01:22:25,967 --> 01:22:29,845
Also, you're a cunt.
1251
01:22:30,680 --> 01:22:34,516
Well, now you really are charming.
1252
01:22:34,684 --> 01:22:37,019
- Know who's gonna love this story?
- What story?
1253
01:22:37,187 --> 01:22:38,771
- This one. This one.
- Who?
1254
01:22:38,980 --> 01:22:40,356
- Maggie.
- Really?
1255
01:22:40,690 --> 01:22:42,816
By the way, she asked me
to tell you something.
1256
01:22:42,984 --> 01:22:44,818
- What?
- That she's coming back to you.
1257
01:22:45,362 --> 01:22:48,739
- She's on her way.
- She's coming back to me?
1258
01:22:48,949 --> 01:22:51,367
- That's what she told me.
- I don't want her.
1259
01:22:51,534 --> 01:22:54,370
Well, you've got her. She's all yours.
You're welcome to her.
1260
01:22:54,537 --> 01:22:58,874
She loves your money, baby.
That's the nub of it.
1261
01:22:59,751 --> 01:23:01,293
I don't want her.
1262
01:23:07,217 --> 01:23:09,593
- What are you doing with that coat?
- I'm taking it.
1263
01:23:09,803 --> 01:23:11,595
Tell Maggie I'll be in touch.
1264
01:23:11,763 --> 01:23:14,807
I want to have a drink with her.
Bring her up to date.
1265
01:23:16,977 --> 01:23:21,063
How do you like me in this coat?
Do you fancy me?
1266
01:23:24,901 --> 01:23:27,653
Goodbye, darling.
1267
01:23:32,200 --> 01:23:33,867
Wait a minute.
1268
01:23:35,078 --> 01:23:37,037
Yes? What?
1269
01:23:44,587 --> 01:23:46,463
Goodbye, darling.
92586
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.