All language subtitles for Shameless.US.S02E05.720p.BluRay.x264

For those of you that missed
last week's episode, I got really drunk...

...and I don't remember what happened.

- Nobody's heard from Eddie?
- Not a word.

Eddie goes down to the corner for a pack
of Luckies, never heard from again.

What are you looking at? Malik?
Are you looking at Malik?

Tell me about West Point.
What's a kid gotta do to get in?

Suck my dick.

- I'm Little Hank.
- Debbie.

- Tell me about Hank.
- He's cute.

Drinking my booze?
I thought you were kidding.

Hey, guys. I could hook you up.
This is Richard, who you wanted to meet.

- Hi, Richard.
- When Richard does call, just say yes.

- What are you doing this weekend?
- Something deplorable, I'm sure.

Wanna come to a wedding?
I'd love to show you off.

Thank you.

- Is that a yes?
- Yes.

- Hey, you okay?
- Stay the fuck away from Jody.

- Hey.
- And stay the fuck away from this baby.

Thank you.

Gotta get over

- Cut me in, baby, don't leave me hangin'
- Don't leave me hangin'

Still in there?

You told Carl to bring in money
for the winter squirrel fund.

- I didn't tell him to rent out Frank's room.
- Dad rented it first, to that Chinese lady.

The minute you start following Frank's
example, I put a gun in my mouth.

How did you expect Carl to get cash?

All you gotta do is swallow this.

She moved her stuff in
after you left for work.

Know what time Lip got home
last night?

- You need a new razor.
- Ew.

He rented the room to a hooker?

Carl said she works checkout
at the Jewel-Osco.

That's why they call her
Double-Bag Bev.

She doesn't work there, and that's not
why they call her that. Carl!

- Hi, Little Hank.
- Hey, I want her out of the house now.

Seventy-five a week.

- We'll charge a buck a peek.
- Ten if she's working.

Whoa! No peepholes.

Hey. Kind of in the middle
of something.

Okay. I wanted to, uh, make sure we were
still on before I got my nails done.

Still on.

Your boss at the club give you a hard time?

What's he gonna do, fire me?

I'm probably out of a job in two weeks
when they close the outdoor deck.

I want you to know that, uh,
even though a wedding date...

...is customarily guaranteed sex,
you're under no obligation.

- Good to know.
- Just because society expects us to...

- All of society, huh?
I can pick you up.

Where do you live?

Got any Vagisil? I've been scratching
under the hood all night.

- My address is, uh, 11509 Lake Shore Drive.
- Okay. See you at 2:30.

Right.

Lake Shore Drive?

What's for breakfast?

Cleaned the puke off the porch.
That you?

Better outside than in. You're welcome.
What the hell is that?

Bacon bits. Rad, huh?

They're for Mom.

Think she'll come out today?

Not likely.
Airplane wheel missed her by an inch.

Friendly skies, indeed.

Mrs. Jackson home?

Sheils?

Who is it? Mm.

Me, Frank.

The bedpan is full.

Cops are downstairs.
They found Eddie.

Oh. Where was he,
at his brother's in Bridgeport?

- Michiana?
- Bottom of Lake Michigan.

Mm, perfect timing. Mm.

Hey, babe?

Where's that morning wood?

Your dad's dead.

Heh-heh. Nice try,
but that doesn't turn me on anymore.

Really. Your dad.

I'm not gonna stay
down here forever...

...so stop talking about my fucking dad
and get your dick hard.

- Out of milk. Bev wants breakfast.
- Oh, come on.

- What about those house-sitting jobs?
- Got any Virginia Slims?

Let's try the neighbors.

If we get Bloody Mary mix,
Bev promised she'd show us a tit.

Little Hank. What does he like?
What's he into?

- I don't know. Stuff. Why?
- What stuff?

Knives, blunts, commandos,
switchblades, butterflies.

Where can I get knives and blunts?

Alley behind the OTB. Ask for Raoul.
But bring a rag.

Sometimes he doesn't bother
to wipe the blood off the blade.

Carl's boarder.
Put in a load a couple minutes ago.

Lip up?

Everyone's wondering
if you've got PTSD.

Late night working
in the ice-cream truck.

So Karen knocked up has got nothing
to do with the hermit thing?

Can you pass me my shirt?

What was it about her
that first caught your eye?

Um...

Easy, convenient
and low-maintenance. Why?

Think I could be easy, convenient
and low-maintenance?

This about Little Hank?

Look, I caught him trying to steal
our toaster the other day.

Pint-sized klepto will be in juvie
before you get your first kiss.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

Do I have to explain that to you
of all people?

Afraid it's not just about being easy
and convenient, Debs.

It's, uh, chemical.
Pheromones. A person's scent.

You know.

Can't fake it.

- Hey, finally up. Smoke?
- Yep.

You know there's a prostitute in Frank's room?

Double-Bag Bev.
Needed a place to stay. Win, win.

As long as you can't catch AIDS
from a washing machine.

Mm. They got drugs for that now.
It's like a cold.

Pfft. She's single-handedly
catapulting Carl into puberty.

- She's not bringing her work home.
- She better not.

And no more washing-machine freebies.
If she charges by the load, so can we.

You talk to Karen?

Why would I?

Look it could be anyone's kid.
Uh, Owen Lindquist...

...the guy on Wolcott with the lazy eye
and the Mustang. Frank.

- You use protection?
- She's on the pill.

So she said.
How many times you sleep with her?

- What, you keep count?
- Ballpark. How many times a week?

- Six, seven.
- Yeah, for what, like eight months?

- That's--
- Around 224.

And what about other guys?
Ten sound about right?

That's 20-to-1 odds.

You're the one who takes book.
You like those odds?

- If you're gonna yell at me, go ahead.
- I'm not your mother.

So, what are you gonna do?

I'm not taking care of another kid.

Sheils.

Even Osama had to come out of his cave
every once in a while.

And look what happened to him.

I get it.

So many emotions to process.

I am here...

...100 percent.

- Whatever you need.
- He was the father of my baby.

You grieve
and leave mundane matters to me.

Eddie's affairs.
Pension, insurance, things like that.

Just tell me
where the paperwork is and--

Oh, Frank,
why would something like this happen?

Nothing could make his eternal slumber
more peaceful...

...than knowing that you and Karen
were properly taken care of.

The papers aren't in the file cabinet.
I checked.

Do you think he felt any pain?

Oh...

The important thing is...

...I'm sure he was the kind of father
who provided for his family.

- I just need his Social Security number.
- Poor Eddie.

Jonah and I are off to the playground.

Anybody offers you candy,
that's code for crack.

Apple Jacks, Crunch 'n Munch,
hotcakes, jellybeans, fries...

...caviar, crackers, dip, all crack.

Say, "No, thank you."
Got it. I'll go tell Malik.

- Malik?
- We're having a playdate.

Sounds more like a "date" date.

I know what goes on in the playground
besides hopscotch and men jacking off.

- That kid's a player.
- He's the best player.

He showed me an old basketball game
on TV last night, and I learned so much.

Did you know that Chinese people
can grow to be 7 feet tall?

Last night? He skipped the game?

Hey, ready to bounce, E?

- Hey, Ms. V.
- You don't skip out on your team...

...unless you're lying in a hospital bed
with a bullet in your spine.

- The game last night?
- We didn't have no game.

- Kev said there was a game.
- You got it twisted.

Next game's tomorrow.
Hey, let's get ghost.

- Okay.
- Later, Ms. V.

On the house? I'm in mourning.

- Freebies for family only, Frank.
- Then start the mother of all tabs.

Once Eddie's insurance money kicks in,
moderation's gonna be a thing of the past.

- Moderation?
- How much we talking about?

City Life. Gotta be 50K, at least.

A toast to Eddie Jackson...

...who had the foresight
to take care of those he loved.

I wouldn't celebrate just yet, Frank.

You're not the only one
interested in Eddie's insurance.

Police are asking a lot of questions.

So?

Eddie was weighed down
with a cement block.

So?

So everyone here
heard Eddie threaten to kill you.

Threaten me, not the other way around.
Murder's not my bag.

I don't have the constitution.
Blood makes me queasy.

And I didn't plant that pipe bomb
down at the mosque...

...but it was on my route,
so the pigs got a warrant.

Never would have found the videos otherwise.
I served 18 goddamn months.

If Curtis didn't want his wife
filmed naked...

...he shouldn't have left the blinds open
when he changed her diaper.

- You got any skeletons, Frank?
- None that come to mind.

- Identity theft?
- Simple misunderstanding.

Endangering the welfare of a child,
human trafficking...

...drug running, Medicaid fraud,
disability fraud, mail fraud.

The longer they look,
the more they'll find.

What are you doing wearing my top?

- Pheromones. I'm borrowing them.
- Pheromones.

- It's the thing boys like about you.
- You mean tits?

Think you might be a year or two off.

What does Holly Herkimer have
that I don't?

- Besides HPV?
- You get to dress up.

It's going back tomorrow.

Put the top back.
No more playing dress-up, okay?

Hymen stays intact.

Ian.

Come here, son.

Daddy needs an alibi
for a few months ago.

Carl. And I can't.
Bev said her moneymaker is on fire.

Bev? Son, I need your help.

Not really in the mood
to bail your ass out right now.

- Heh. I got a problem.
- Karen's pregnant.

What's Lip gonna do?

Last person I thought
would be that stupid.

You think the carpet bombing's
necessary?

Kev lied to me.
I checked the team schedule.

There was no game last night.
And then this.

"Warts to like" something?

"I want to lick every inch
of your body."

- That E is backwards.
- Found that in Kev's pocket.

The anniversary of our first date is next week,
and this is how he celebrates.

- Fucking an illiterate.
- Cheating?

Probably Michelle Maloney.
Tits like Katy Perry.

Her head hasn't been right
since she started huffing butane.

Don't jump to conclusions.
He makes his tips from flirts at the bar.

Or Val Krinsky. Spelled Chicago
with an S on her McDonald's application.

- New dress?
- For the night. Oh, tag gun?

Broke. Carl used it on a possum.
Just tuck it, old-school.

- Need heels.
- How high?

Something that can pass
for wedding formal...

...and get me to the 'L'
without breaking an ankle.

Prick's not coming to pick you up?

- Meeting him on the North Side.
- North Side?

He's under the impression
I live on Lake Shore Drive.

- Mm, how'd he get that impression?
- I might have given him Adam's address.

- Sounded better than the alternative.
- As long as you don't run into Adam.

Pfft. He's out of the country,
raping some emerging market.

Any chance Moneybags airlifts you
out of the ghetto?

More likely he's got a girl in every port.
These will work.

Kev would never cheat on you.
Go talk to him, clear it up.

That's the Gallagher sperm.

Ambitious, relentless.
Everything we're not once we're born.

Like heat-seeking,
baby-making guided missiles.

Won't be long before the country's
nothing but Mexicans and Gallaghers.

Son, it's time we had the talk.

- Little late for that, huh?
- Different talk. She gonna keep it?

Looks like it.

- Big responsibility, being a parent.
- Is that right?

That's what I'm trying to tell you,
my philosophy:

- You gotta let kids learn for themselves.
- You mean fend for themselves?

Give a man a fish,
you've fed him for a day.

Teach a man to fish,
you've fed him for a lifetime.

I raise fishermen.

The best gift you can give? Neglect.
Neglect fosters self-reliance.

Do the right thing.

Split.

Not our fault she was careless.

Now, I need an alibi
for Eddie Jackson's murder.

- Why, did you kill him?
- No.

Eddie's dead?

- Yeah.
- Hey, does Karen know?

Gotta swear we were on a camping trip.
A long weekend in Wisconsin.

Hey, lan, watch Liam.

- We were on a camping trip.
- Perjure myself?

That'll look great
on my West Point application.

Try Mandy's dad.
I hear lying to cops is his specialty.

Hi, Phil.

One day the entire family will be
reunited in the Garden of Eden.

- Oh, like heaven?
- No, it's in Missouri.

- Oh. Eden's got a lot of methheads.
Heh-heh.

- So, um, they trip when you got pregnant?
- Oh, no, we'd been trying for months.

Really? My great-grandpops
beat me with a DustBuster.

Why would God make us
physically ready...

- ...if he didn't want us to have children?
- True that.

That's what my sister wives told me
while they held me down.

For Clyde, my husband.

They were right.

It stopped hurting
after the first couple dozen times.

Once you get past that razor-blades-
slicing-you-from-the-inside sensation...

...you feel much closer to God.

Wait, they held you down?

Clyde wanted to do it himself,
but he was much too weak.

Rheumatoid arthritis.

I hope someone takes care of him.

- Don't you think Clyde deserves that?
- Oh, for sure.

- I would do it myself, but he's in prison.
- My pop's in prison.

Two aunts, six or seven uncles.

Jonah, baby, what's the matter?
Hey, Jonah, baby, what's the matter?

- Hey, baby.
- Hey, babe.

- Nice surprise.
- Had an idea.

Since you've been so busy lately,
date night.

- I love it. I'll cook.
- Tomorrow?

- Can't tomorrow, got a game.
- Two games in three nights?

Didn't you have one last night?

I had a game last night.
I didn't tell you?

Oh, V, you should've been there.
Down two, three seconds left.

Most coaches play for overtime,
I coach from my sac.

I had the fat Nicaraguan kid
set a pick for Malik. What? Swish.

Three-pointer. Mm.

- Unbelievable.
I know.

It was a hell of a game.

- Lip.
- Hey. Uh, Karen home?

- What do you want?
- Need an alibi for your dad?

- I didn't kill the shithead.
- Really? Maybe it was Frank.

- Where you headed?
- None of your fucking business.

Cemetery. Picking out a plot.

Wow. Can't wait to get that asshole
in the ground, huh?

- Doing it for Mom.
- Mm.

Well, hey,
you really wanna get back at him?

Go at it on his grave.
It's a great way to send him off.

Heh. Bad enough he'll be spending eternity
downwind from the slaughterhouse.

That's a good point. Cosmic payback.

Hey, hey, hey.

Um...

Is it a boy or a girl?

He's either got a tiny penis
or a huge clit.

Well, hey, no more drinking, all right?
Remember Connie Lumbard?

She spent her pregnancy
on a stool at the Alibi.

Four years later, her boy's
stabbing other kids with a fork.

Didn't help her husband
was in Iraq, but...

Kids need a father.

Jody and I got hitched.

- What?
- Married. We couldn't wait.

- Congratulations.
- Ah.

He loves kids.

We're gonna turn the basement
into a nursery.

- All set, then.
- All set.

- Hey. Sorry, I was waiting outside.
- Oh, I didn't see you.

- Yeah, I couldn't find your name.
- I'm subletting.

- Wow. Is that banal, to say, wow?
- Heh-heh-heh. Works for me.

I love the dress,
but it's missing something.

I thought you might wanna borrow this
for the afternoon.

Here you go.

- Still, wow.
- Heh. Okay.

- Private jet was in the shop?
- I didn't wanna overdo it.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Two of my famous grilled cheesies.
Hey, how about I watch Jonah later?

I feel like we need a dudes' night in.

How about that? Me and you.
Pizza, beer, Barney.

You can go to the independence Day
barbecue.

- Isn't that in July?
- End of every August.

Celebrate the day Dawn Saakashvili...

...nail-gunned her husband to death
in his sleep.

She went to prison for 20 to life...

...but her kids didn't go to school
with welts anymore.

- You and Malik have a good time.
- I'm spoken for.

- Oh. That's too bad, he's totally into you.
- Oh. He say something?

Doesn't have to. it's obvious.

It's a shame I didn't meet him
when I was 11.

Uh, Kevin?

It's great, you and Ethel hanging out together.

- What's wrong with me?
- What?

Ethel's got a boy into her,
and she already has a husband.

- You're a guy. Don't spare my feelings.
- You got a crush too?

- He doesn't even notice me.
- That may be your problem.

Are you sure you're sending
strong enough signals?

- I've tried.
- Guys are pretty dumb.

You have to put something shiny
in the window to get them in the store.

- You're not gonna slap me, are you?
- No.

Usually after Veronica asks me
to level with her, she slaps me.

Uh, stronger signals. Thanks, Kevin.

Mom?

Hi. How was the cemetery?

- Here.
- Oh!

"Eternal Serenity."
Oh, well, that's a lovely casket.

The Star of David's detachable.
So that's nice.

What is it?

They-- They started digging the hole.

Yeah.

Sweetheart, are you sad he's gone?

- No, I hate him.
- Oh, it's okay.

Maybe just a little bit?

Why? it's not like if he were here
he'd apologize...

...fix it, make it like it used to be.

Yeah.

It's better this way.

You know, he's gonna miss out.

On what?

The best grandkid ever.

And you know what
the best grandkid ever needs?

The coolest nursery ever,
starting with the crib.

Look, sweetie.

How adorable is that?

Crib, done.

Look at this, see?
It's a little Moses basket.

- Heh.
- We have to get that.

And I saved the best for last, lookit.

Baby LoJack.

So no one can take him
in the middle of the night.

I heard you could help me.

Just disfigurement,
or you want the whole nine yards?

- Need an alibi.
- Mm.

Figure we say we were camping.

- You a retard?
- What? No.

Retards say they went camping.
Know where they go next? Prison.

Where they get ass-slammed
by other retards.

How you gonna document a camping trip?

- Fucking call a raccoon as your witness?
- Heh-heh-heh-heh.

We were in Fort Wayne. Gun show.

You bought a crossbow.
Seller remembers you.

Got the receipt, date, time-stamped.
Can get doctored security footage too.

- You're good. How much?
- Fifteen hundred.

- Eighty?
- This ain't a negotiation, shithead.

- Family discount.
- You ain't fucking family.

- Our kids are practically hitched.
- Money up front, all of it, or fuck off.

- I can get it.
- Then you'll be off the hook.

Your scratch.

- Wow.
- Yeah, and this is the weekend place.

- I feel bad for the bride.
- Why?

She's not gonna be the prettiest girl
at her own wedding.

Uh...

- Whose wedding is this?
- It's my college roommate.

- What's he do?
- Make rich people richer.

- Parks.
- Oh, Jesus, Garvin.

Geithner let you escape the Fed
for a day in the middle of this mess?

Ah, had to see Aaron take the plunge
for the second time?

Ha! One more and he's, uh,
caught up with Gingrich.

- Yeah.
Heh-heh.

- Who's this?
- Uh, Fiona, Greg. Fellow Princeton Tiger.

Only you'd show up with a girl like this
while the rest of us go home to kids.

- When did you graduate?
- Actually, I'm gonna be a senior.

Oh. Oh, I hate you.
I lived in Rockefeller. You?

- Off campus.
- What about freshman year?

- Rented a house with some friends.
- Hey, we'll catch up at cocktail hour.

- Uh, are we early?
- No, why?

There's not many people.

Second wedding for both. Keeping it small.

- Which means we should, uh, mingle.
- I'll need this first.

After you.

- Dispatch, we have eyes on Frank Gallagher.
I got an alibi.

- I got an alibi.
- Hey, hey!

Hey, I really have-- I have an alibi.

This is the way you treat
hard-working Americans?

If I were brown
and hated this country...

...the goddamn ACLU
would be all over this place.

Look, I didn't kill Eddie. I was in Ohio.

You see that detective?

- The bull dyke?
- She's the investigating officer.

She's put 11 men on death row.

Detective, I'm innocent. I can prove it.

I didn't do anything, I swear.

Predatory criminal sexual assault
of a child.

Thirty years.

I'm gonna go talk to the victim's mother,
see if she agrees you didn't do anything.

Fuck.

Thank you. Okay, bye-bye.

Crying jag is finally over.
Oh, our poor sitter.

Emma gets hysterical
any time we leave her.

Consider yourself lucky.

I took my oldest
back-to-school shopping.

She insisted I drop her off.

- Wouldn't be seen with me.
- How old?

- Nine.
- Just wait.

Couple years, she'll be borrowing your
clothes and willing her breasts to grow.

Oh, fuck me.

My little sister's 11.

Tampons and birth control
just around the corner.

- Oh, God help us.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Uh, I need you just for a second.
Excuse us, ladies.

- That's for you.
- Thank you.

I saw you drowning in there.

- Thanks, but your radar's off.
- Oh, really?

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to whisk you away from all the fun.

Where you taking me?

I wanna offer you a tour of the house
before the nuptials.

I wanna show you something cool.

- Are we allowed up here?
- Well, hey, I know Aaron's dad.

- He's the white guy.
- Thanks.

Mm-hm.
Foremost urologist in the country.

Seen every president's dick
since Eisenhower. Mm-hm.

Who takes a picture
with their urologist?

Listen, if a man has your testicles
in his grip, you'll do whatever he asks.

Little-known fact,
Gerald Ford was hung like a bear.

- You're really bad at flirting.
- What makes you think I'm trying to?

- Hm, get me liquored up and alone?
- Oh, yeah.

Nothing closes the deal
like deceased heads of state.

Thought I was under no obligation
to sleep with you.

Oh. Well, I was, uh, kind of hoping
that you'd just want to.

Who says I don't?

Wedding's starting.

Hi, Holly.

- What's with the makeup?
- I'm sending stronger signals.

Did I leave my underwear
in your brother's room?

- It was my lucky pair.
- Didn't see it.

You wanna hang out later
at the barbecue?

- I'm busy.
- Lip will be there. He wants to double.

- He said that?
- Yeah. You, Lip, me, Little Hank.

Great, you can keep that Hank perv
off my back.

- Meet up with you there?
- Yeah. Heh.

Holly? Uh, how do I look?

Like you're going to be a virgin
for the rest of your life.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Did you talk to Sheila?
Wait, where are you taking me?

Cook County? I won't last a week.

Get the hell out.

- You're letting me go?
- For now. Don't leave the city.

- Oh. Well, hello.
- Get naked, now.

Yes, sir.

I sent Ethel to the store.

- Get your ass on that bench.
- Oh, I love Mistress Veronica.

Ah...

Yes. Oh, handcuffs. Got the handcuffs.

An oldie but a goodie.
Hey, just remember...

...if you're gonna sit on my face,
I have that sinus thing, okay?

Mm...

- Uh, what is this? What's this for?
- The blood.

Blood? Garden shears?

- Whoa, that's not funny.
- What's the bitch's name?

- What are you talking about?
- The bitch's name.

- Aah! Who? Who?
- West 47th.

How do you know about that?
Oh!

Miss Grodanz, all right?
Please don't cut my dick.

You screw some slut
and you don't know her name?

- No. She's my tutor.
- What, teaching you how to fuck?

- Read.
- That's the best you can do?

I swear to God, it's true.
She's teaching me how to read.

- Yo, where are the keys?
- In my P-U-R-S-E.

V. V!

Detective happen to drop by?

I can explain.

Don't tell me, tell Mom.

Sheils, it's Frank.

- I'm sorry.
- Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want you to think less of me.

Taking advantage
of somebody so vulnerable.

You poor thing.

Karen told the authorities everything.

Define "everything."

You came home
from a work-related injury...

...barely conscious from the pain pills
the doctor prescribed...

...in need of kindness and care.

And instead, Karen lured you
into the basement...

...and just did what she did to you.

Just wanted to get back at her father.

You weren't even aroused.

She told the police
the size of a baby carrot.

I'm so sorry
that my daughter raped you.

Miss Grodanz?

- Hi. Who are you?
- The woman whose man you're fucking.

I'm done with my spelling.

I'll start my reading.

Thank you.

Thanks for taking out my dad.

- Lovely dress.
- But those vows.

Why do people insist
on writing them themselves?

- Mm. I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
- Okay.

- I'll see you at the table.
- Okay.

- So off campus, huh?
- What?

- You said you lived off campus.
- Yeah.

Yeah. Princeton doesn't let students
live off campus until junior year.

New rules.

Which agency you with?
You can tell me.

- I might need to schedule a night myself.
- Excuse me?

Heh. Only Richard would have the stones
to bring a pro to a wedding. Heh-heh.

- You think I'm a hooker?
- No, no, no.

Hookers get paid in small bills,
not American Express Platinum.

- You gotta be 2 grand, 3?
- I'm not a fucking escort.

Richard doesn't know
you're lying about Princeton?

- You're a gold digger after his money?
- I haven't taken a thing from him.

Right. I have an idea.

How about you give me a taste
or I tell him the truth?

- Hey, hey. Table 6, right over there.
- Great, me too.

I don't go to Princeton.
Never went to college.

And if assholes like this did,
I'm glad I didn't.

- Oh, man--
- Don't worry, I'll get a cab.

What the fuck, Garvin?

- Hey, Fiona. I'll take you.
- No, thanks.

You know where I can get the 'L'?

Come on.
Hey, Greg is an asshole. He always has been.

He got expelled twice.

They only let him graduate
after his dad built the school a library.

Come on, I'm sorry.
Let me take you. Please?

Hey, bring the car around.

I wanna know whose it is, the kid.

- A simple test.
- Jody's the father.

You take math lessons
from a creationist?

- You met him a month ago.
- We're married. it makes him the dad.

- Jody!
- It makes him the stepdad.

Real dads are overrated.

- Better this way.
- Oh, with the village idiot?

Quiet and nice
doesn't make him an idiot.

- At least I know he'll be here.
- I'm not going anywhere.

- South Side forever?
- I wouldn't bail.

- I'm not my dad.
- Get out.

- You hear me? I'm not my fucking dad.
- Everything cool?

Fine. Enjoy your life of monosyllables
and knock-knock jokes.

At least I know his dad won't fuck me.

Don't underestimate yourself.
I'm sure it'll be his turn at some point.

Money up front, no rough stuff.
Here for Bev?

Your brother.

Some army dude's here for you.

- Exemplary salute.
- Cadet Colonel Gallagher, Junior ROTC.

Colonel McNally,
Department of Defense.

- You Lip's brother?
- Ian.

Uh, he mentioned you were taking an interest,
but didn't say you were stopping by.

- I hope that's okay.
- Yes, sir.

Silver Star. Iraq?

- Afghanistan.
- Ah.

I've got sand
in parts of my body I still can't get out.

This is a West Point application.
I wanted to deliver it.

It's been a goal for a long time.

Well, if I have anything
to say about it, he'll reach it.

Big future, your brother.

The nature of combat's changing.

We need all the creative thinkers
we can get.

Is Lip home?

- You'll make sure he gets that?
- Yes, sir.

Thanks.

I knew you didn't go to Princeton.

You don't do $500 million
worth of business a year...

...without being able to read people.

I must admit, though...

...I was curious to see how long you'd
be able to keep the whole thing going.

Where should I tell the driver
you live?

South Side.

Help me look like you?

Two things Fiona says are a waste
of money: makeup and bras.

If I believed my older siblings,
I'd still think I was a botched abortion.

You have great eyes.

Thanks, but eyes don't stop
a teenage boy.

I need boobs or some junk in the trunk,
you know?

- How old are you?
- Eleven.

If I were Jewish,
I'd be a woman next year.

- Why the rush?
- You sound just like my sister.

Well, there's plenty of time
to be disappointed by men.

Why does everyone else
get to grow up but me?

One day you'll look back
and wish it didn't happen so fast.

Trust me. There.

- This will get his attention?
- If it doesn't, he's not worth it.

Who's your friend?

- Sixty-five, 66, 67, 68--
- Went to Karen's.

- Seventy--
- Tried to step up.

- She told me to fuck off. Believe that?
- Seventy-three, 74, 75, 76, 77...

- She'd rather play house with Keanu.
- ...78, 79--

- Eighty-one, 82--
- You hear what I said?

How many push-ups can you do?

- What, right now? Stoned?
- Your best day.

- I don't know. Five, six.
- How many miles?

Depends. Who's chasing me?

I can do a hundred push-ups,
run a six-minute mile...

...and hit a freckle with an M16.

Dude, you need this more than I do.

Know what it means
to have a war hero recommend you?

I told you, I'm working that angle.

- It takes time.
- No need.

- It worked.
- What, McNally brought this for you?

Not me.

Congratulations.

I didn't have a chance
to mention you yet, all right?

It's a misunderstanding.
I'll find him tomorrow.

Don't worry about it.

Wait, you're really gonna be a baby
about this?

You're the only reason I was hanging out
with that waterboarder McNally.

I don't need your help.

You should have told me that
before I spent my summer...

...trying to explain fucking trigonometry,
all right?

- I didn't even want you to do this.
- I'll do it on my own now, okay?

You can't do shit on your own.

Fuck you, Lip.

Get back to your whore...

...who can't be sure
if her kid is your son or your brother.

I'll make West Point on my own.
I don't need you.

Shh. Just got the babies to sleep.

I shouted for 20 minutes
before Malik heard me.

You let that girl go out on a date with a
boy who knows how to pick handcuffs?

Your mom let you go out with me.

- We turned out okay. I think.
If you didn't know how to read...

- ...how'd you get your license?
- They give those to anybody.

- Our taxes?
- Lip.

- Cards on my birthday?
- Debbie.

- Explains the I's dotted with hearts.
- Look, I can read, all right?

It's just I had trouble with it
my entire life.

It gets messed up. I--
it takes a long time.

From one school to the next,
one foster care to the next...

...it never got fixed.

It's not like I'm unliterate.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because I was ashamed, V.

I wanted to do something nice
for our anniversary.

A card I wrote myself.

So "I wanna lick every inch
of your body"...

...you wrote this?

I wanted to be romantic.

We turned out more than okay.

Go, go, go.

Ah. Detective, I smell bacon.

- What do you want, Gallagher?
- No hard feelings.

Well, except for the one
I have for your better half here. Heh.

Lesson learned.

It's gonna take a lot more than that
to bring down Frank Gallagher.

I know you're responsible
for Eddie Jackson's death.

Heh. Try proving it. Heh-heh.

I intend to.

My dad killed a guy.

Little beats better than big beats

Little beats
Little beats better than big beats

What's wrong?

Holly blew off the flowers
I stole for her.

You wanna go see Raoul
in the alley behind the OTB?

Just got a new switchblade in.

Swears it has nothing at all to do
with that cop stabbing in Pullman.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Don't lay on your back.
You could choke on your vomit.

You need water and bread
to soak up the alcohol.

I'll get hamburger buns.
Stay here, I'll be right back.

Hey, hey.

Want these?

Won't start.

Cops released the report.
Cause of death, inconclusive.

You okay?

Yeah.

Let my fire burn
Oh!

Little beats
Little beats better than big beats

- Hey, what took you so long?
- Jesus, what do you want?

I got a morning-after pill
from my sister.

Little beats
Little beats better than big beats

Gonna have a little bit
Little beats

Little beats better than--

Stop
Take it back to the top

Watch it, asshole.

- How about some fucking respect?
- What, for you?

Your mom's on a diet
of prison-guard dick...

...because you didn't have the balls
to stand up to your dad yourself.

What, you never learned
how to throw a fucking punch?

Little beats better than big beats
Gonna have a little bit

Oh, that's it? No wonder your dad
beat the shit out of you.

Sheils, it's me. Got a surprise for you.

Frank, you're back from the barbecue.

I brought the barbecue to you,
my one and only girl.

Aw, Frank.

Come downstairs.
Let me serve for once.

- It looks delicious.
- Table's all set.

Oh...

What a lovely way to end a hard day.

That's all behind us now.

Come downstairs, have a nice dinner,
and we'll wrap up Eddie's affairs.

- Where's his life-insurance policy again?
- One good thing that came out of this:

I'm free to marry.

Ma--? Marry?

I-- Whoa!
Heh-heh-heh.

That's in there for a strike, and the count--

"Navel."

"Navel. Navel."

- Navel.
- Yes.

Mm. Only three more
till I get to your hoo-ha.

Hey, talked to my pops.
He's gonna take care of your Clyde.

- Really? Thank you. Oh.
- Heh. You're welcome.

You Clyde? Ethel said hi.

How many?

Six of us.

It looks a lot like where I grew up
in New Haven.

Hey, I'm here next week for a meeting.

Wanna go to dinner?

I promise just us this time.

- Okay.
- I want you to have this.

I'd just end up selling it for food
and toilet paper.

Hey.

Looks like I missed the party.

Tony around?

Tell him I came by.

You look great, by the way.

Great.