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1
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:46,295
Oh
2
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,420
A newlywed couple just moved to town
3
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A regular husband and wife
4
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:58,560
Who left the big city
To find a quiet life
5
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,309
WandaVision!
6
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,607
She's a magical gal
In a small town locale
7
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:13,275
He's a hubby who's part machine
8
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:18,617
How will this duo fit in and fulfill all?
9
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:23,924
By sharing a love like you've never seen
10
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:31,381
WandaVision!
11
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My wife and her flying saucers.
12
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,952
My husband and his indestructible head.
13
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-Aren't we a fine pair?
-
14
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What do you say to silver dollar pancakes,
crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs,
15
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,365
freshly squeezed orange juice,
and black coffee?
16
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,537
I say, "Oh, I don't eat food."
17
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,882
Well, that explains
the empty refrigerator.
18
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,380
-Wanda?
-WANDA: Hmm?
19
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,053
Is there something special about today?
20
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,639
Well, I know the apron
is a bit much, dear,
21
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,971
but I am doing my best to blend in.
22
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,387
No, no, there on the calendar.
23
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,055
Someone's drawn a little heart
right above today's date.
24
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,073
-Oh, yes, the heart.
-Hmm...
25
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,284
Well, don't tell me
you have forgotten, Vis.
26
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,401
"Forgotten"?
27
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,986
Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness.
I remember everything.
28
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:38,662
That's not an exaggeration.
In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration.
29
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,702
Well, then tell me what's so important
about today's date.
30
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,040
What was the question again?
31
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,332
Oh, well,
perhaps, you've forgotten yourself.
32
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,207
Me? Heavens, no.
I've been so looking forward to it.
33
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,705
As have I.
34
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,467
Today, we are celebrating...
35
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,379
You bet we are.
36
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,717
-It's the first time we...
-Mmm-hmm.
37
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,564
...have ever celebrated
this occasion before.
38
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,230
It's a special day!
39
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,348
-Perhaps an evening...
-Of great significance...
40
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,515
-To us both!
-Naturally.
41
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,063
-Obviously.
-Exactly.
42
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:09,981
Well done, us.
43
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,904
All right.
44
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,361
Well, that's me off to work, then.
45
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,112
Oh, don't forget!
46
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,160
I haven't.
47
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,123
Have a good day, dear!
48
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,021
Oh!
49
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,855
Hello, dear.
I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right.
50
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,483
My right, not yours.
51
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,488
Forgive me for not stopping by sooner
to welcome you to the block.
52
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,121
My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't.
53
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,828
So, what's your name? Where are you from?
54
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,461
And most importantly,
how's your bridge game, hon?
55
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,373
I'm Wanda.
56
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,131
Wanda. Charmed.
57
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,712
Golly, you settled in fast!
58
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,337
Did you use a moving company?
59
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:21,351
I sure did.
Those boxes don't move themselves.
60
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:26,851
So what's a single gal like you doing
rattling around this big house?
61
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,194
Oh, no, I'm not single.
62
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,728
Oh, I don't see a ring.
63
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,151
Well, I assure you I'm married.
64
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,694
To a man. A human one and tall.
65
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:38,195
As a matter of fact, he'll be home
later tonight for a special occasion.
66
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,398
Just the two of us.
67
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:40,858
Oh, is it somebody's birthday?
68
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,528
Not a birthday.
69
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,276
Well, today isn't a holiday, is it?
70
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,698
No, it's not a holiday.
71
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,207
An anniversary then?
72
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,538
Ye... Yes!
73
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,383
Yes! It's our anniversary!
74
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,959
Oh, how marvelous!
75
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,375
How many years?
76
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,594
Well, it feels like
we've always been together.
77
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,085
Lucky gal.
78
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:04,047
The only way
Ralph would remember our anniversary
79
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,267
is if there was a beer named June 2nd.
80
00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:10,058
-So, what do you have planned?
-How do you mean?
81
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,693
For your special night.
82
00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,651
A young thing like you
doesn't have to do much,
83
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,033
but it's still fun to set the scene.
84
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:21,778
Say, I was just reading
a crackerjack magazine article
85
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:25,914
called "How To Treat Your Husband
To Keep Your Husband,"
86
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,583
and let me tell you,
what Ralph could really use
87
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,422
is, "How To Goose Your Wife
So You Don't Lose Your Wife."
88
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,209
Hang on. I'll go grab it
and we can start planning.
89
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,626
Oh, this is gonna be a gas!
90
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:43,593
Oh...
91
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:49,184
Or you
don't go out Friday night Yakety yak!
92
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,348
You just put on your coat and hat
93
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:57,768
Here are those computational forms
that you requested, Norm.
94
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,525
There you go.
95
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,607
Gee willikers, that was fast!
96
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,565
Hey, the music
isn't bothering you, is it, pal?
97
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,197
In terms of distraction from work,
98
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,624
or the largely nonsensical
nature of the lyrics?
99
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,289
-The first one.
-Ah, no, thank you, Norm.
100
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,093
Hey, is there somethin'
I can help you with, buddy?
101
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,461
Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.
102
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:24,716
Would you be so good as to tell me
what it is we do here exactly?
103
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,179
Do we make something?
104
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,562
-No.
-Right.
105
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,059
Do we buy or sell something?
106
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,351
No and no.
107
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,734
Then what is the purpose of this company?
108
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:39,402
All I know is, since you've gotten here,
productivity has gone up 300%.
109
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,735
Yes, but what is it we're producing?
110
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,198
Computational forms.
111
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,698
And no one can process the data
quite like you do, pal.
112
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,491
You're like a walking computer.
113
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,624
What? I most certainly am not.
114
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,791
I'm a regular carbon-based employee
made entirely of organic matter,
115
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,831
much like yourself, Norm.
116
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,745
Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled?
117
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,842
Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge.
118
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,921
You see, it appears
there's something special about today,
119
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,627
special to Wanda, that's my wife,
120
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,677
and gee, I can't, for the life of me,
recall what it is.
121
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,635
Mmm... Oh!
122
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:14,809
MR. HART: Good to see you.
123
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,654
-Vision.
-Yes?
124
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,688
Wife and I
are looking forward to this evening.
125
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:21,775
Mr. Hart. Of course!
126
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,197
Dinner with Mr. Hart
and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
127
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,029
That's what I said.
What's wrong with you?
128
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,414
-Have you got a screw loose?
-Oh, no, sir. Screws all tightened, sir.
129
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,042
Yes, I should hope so.
130
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,078
Employee dinners
are a rite of passage
131
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,542
-for the new hires.
-Ah.
132
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,422
Jones over there failed miserably.
133
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,749
Isn't that right, Jones?
134
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,416
The wife thought
five courses would be sufficient.
135
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,384
And there was that paltry excuse
for entertainment.
136
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:46,467
A string quartet?
137
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:50,260
And then you had that embarrassing display
of beatnik enthusiasm.
138
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,715
I wore a turtleneck.
139
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,853
Yes. Best of luck out there
in the unemployment line, Jones.
140
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,734
You know, I owe my success
to being a keen judge of character.
141
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,190
No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision?
142
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,110
I don't have a skeleton, sir.
143
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:09,276
Glad to hear it.
Your future in this company depends on it.
144
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,748
AGNES: And you don't have a song?
145
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,751
Nothing special you played
at your wedding?
146
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,043
No, nothing special.
147
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,253
I'll just loan you some records then.
148
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,384
So, we've got music covered,
decor, wardrobe. Oh!
149
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,797
What about seduction techniques?
150
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,853
Oh, I have those.
151
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,810
Of course, you do.
152
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,979
Just out of curiosity, what does it say?
153
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:42,610
That you should stumble when
you walk into a room so he can catch you.
154
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,073
It's romantic.
155
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,729
Any other tricks?
156
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,777
You could point out that the death rate of
single men is twice that of married men.
157
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:52,526
Now, that's romantic.
158
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,200
-Oh!
159
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,384
Vision residence.
160
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,498
-Wanda, darling.
-Vision, sweetheart.
161
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,665
Listen, about tonight...
162
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:08,133
Don't worry, dear.
I have everything under control.
163
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,675
Oh, well, that is a relief.
164
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,258
I must confess, I'm really rather nervous.
165
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,425
"Nervous"? Whatever for?
166
00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:17,023
Well, you know, darling,
I still get a little tongue-tied.
167
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,688
Vis, after all this time...
168
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,770
There's an awful lot
riding on this one, Wanda.
169
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:28,645
If tonight doesn't go just so,
I think this could be the end.
170
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,910
Well, it's just one night.
There's no need to get dramatic.
171
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,830
Look, I think the best course of action
is to impress the wife.
172
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:39,999
And I think the best course of action
is to impress the husband.
173
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,121
VISION: Well, wonderful!
174
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,037
Glad to know we're both on the same page.
175
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,626
Until tonight, then, my, darling.
176
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:46,921
Until tonight.
177
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,798
Oh...
178
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:57,348
Is your husband tired of you
burning his toast?
179
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,644
Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000.
180
00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,306
It's the go-to for clever housewives.
181
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,686
Say, this machine has some shine.
182
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,904
You said it.
183
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:12,074
Set the dial
and get the taste back into your toast.
184
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:20,287
Top and bottom heating elements
can handle anything
185
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:24,540
from meatloaf, to cherry pie,
to open-faced cheese sandwiches.
186
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:37,509
The all new ToastMate 2000
by Stark Industries.
187
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,516
Forget the past. This is your future.
188
00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,439
Here we are!
189
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,856
Oh!
190
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,943
How very atmospheric!
191
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,527
What's going on here, Vision?
You blow a fuse?
192
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:58,333
Pardon me while I just go and fetch
the lady of the house.
193
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:05,745
Guess who?
194
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:07,542
Wanda!
195
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,593
Oh! Oh!
196
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,211
Ah...
197
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,627
What is the meaning of this?
198
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,835
Well, what is...
199
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,256
Yeah, what is the meaning of...
200
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,394
Oh, the meaning of it!
201
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,810
You want to know the meaning of it
and the meaning of it
202
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:26,309
is that this is the traditional
Sokovian greeting of hospitality.
203
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,189
-Guess who?
-Is that my host behind me?
204
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:30,403
It certainly is.
205
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,862
-Lovely to make your acquaintance.
-Yes!
206
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,363
See, I forgot to tell you
my wife is from Europe.
207
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,236
Oh, how exotic!
208
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,163
We don't break bread with Bolsheviks.
209
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,662
Oh, hush, Arthur!
210
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,501
And that dress!
211
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:50,421
Yes! It's... It's so...
Sokovian, is what it is! Yes!
212
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,379
Can I just see you in the kitchen
for a moment, sweetheart?
213
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,474
Oh, yes!
214
00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,973
-Who are those people?
-What are you wearing?
215
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,013
-Why are they here?
-What are you wearing?
216
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,427
Well, it's our anniversary!
217
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:04,765
Our anniversary of what?
218
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,270
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you!
219
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,398
That... That man through there
is my boss, Mr. Hart!
220
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,231
And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart!
221
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:16,067
The heart on the calendar
was an abbreviation!
222
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:19,323
You move at the speed of sound and I can
make a pen float through the air.
223
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,816
Who needs to abbreviate?
224
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,948
Darling, listen, it's all romantic
to do the candles, the music,
225
00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:25,866
-that stunning outfit...
-Well...
226
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,254
I don't wanna be unappreciative,
but right now...
227
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,752
Your boss and his wife
are expecting a home-cooked meal.
228
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:31,844
-Exactly.
-
229
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:33,960
Any chance they'd settle
230
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,666
for a single chocolate-covered strawberry
split three ways?
231
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,007
Uh...
232
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,591
I might have a better idea.
233
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,312
Hmm.
234
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:47,305
So I said, "If we orient the forms
horizontally rather than vertically,
235
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,193
"we can use twice the paper,
we can bill twice the cost."
236
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,653
You truly are a pioneer!
237
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,363
But the larger purpose of the forms is...
238
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,316
Was to analyze our input and our output.
239
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,414
Huh.
240
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,238
You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision?
241
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,699
Oh, Agnes! You're a life-saver!
242
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,328
What kind of housewife would I be
243
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:12,714
if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four
just lying about the place?
244
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:13,793
-Well...
245
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,417
Not that Ralph ever wants to eat
anything but baked beans
246
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:19,415
which explains a lot
about his personal appeal, mind you.
247
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,802
-Oh, my!
-Oh! Oh!
248
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,845
Do you think Wanda needs help
in the kitchen?
249
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,639
We haven't any tidbits
or tartlets out here,
250
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:27,853
nary a pig in a blanket.
251
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,598
-No, that's so kind of you, Mrs. Hart.
-
252
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,857
But I'm sure
she's absolutely fine in there!
253
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,319
Oh, thank you, Agnes.
I think I've got it covered from here.
254
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,571
-Oh, are you sure, dear?
-Hmm.
255
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,901
Many hands make light work.
And many mouths make good gossip.
256
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,409
Oh, shall I just pre-heat
the oven then, dear?
257
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,831
-That won't be necessary.
-Oh, All right, then.
258
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,830
Well, I know you're in a pinch
so this menu can be done in a snap.
259
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:52,623
Lobster Thermidor with
mini-minced meat turnovers to start.
260
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,748
Chicken à la King with twice-cooked
new potatoes for your second course,
261
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,206
and Steak Diane and mint jellies
for your main.
262
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,512
Do you set your own jellies, dear?
263
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,591
-Yes.
-Good girl.
264
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,676
Recipe cards are on the counter there.
265
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,011
Bon appétit!
266
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,506
Oh!
267
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,023
Oh, oh.
268
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,152
You men stay put.
269
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,608
-I sense a domestic emergency, so...
-Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't.
270
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,530
You... Please...
271
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:22,649
Yeah, take out the papers and the trash
272
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:25,068
Or you won't get no spending cash
273
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,871
If you don't scrub the kitchen floor
274
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,828
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more
275
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,794
Yakety yak!
Don't talk back
276
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:42,514
Well, why don't we have a nice
sing-a-long, all together then, shall we?
277
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,047
Oh, no, too much!
278
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,140
Oh, no, not enough!
279
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,478
Old MacDonald had a farm
280
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,312
Ee-I-Ee-I-O
281
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,397
And on that farm he had a...
282
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,818
had a...
283
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:04,445
Pig.
284
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:06,070
Ee-I-Ee-I-O
285
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,156
-With a...
-Oink, oink...
286
00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,281
-Here and a...
-Oink, oink...
287
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,947
-There
-Here an oink, there an oink
288
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,115
Everywhere an oink, oink
289
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,333
Old MacDonald had a farm
290
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,923
Ee-I-Ee-I-O
291
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,668
Oh, what was I supposed to do next?
Oh, what was the main course again?
292
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,291
It was... Steak...
293
00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:20,748
No. Steak...
294
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:22,588
Steak... Diane!
295
00:15:22,673 --> 00:15:23,723
Yes?
296
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,140
Oh, I think that must be
my wife summoning me.
297
00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:29,298
She calls you "Diane?"
298
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:33,055
Yes, it's her pet name for me.
299
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:37,233
I'm just coming, Fred.
300
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,194
Excuse me a moment.
301
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:45,239
Oh, no.
302
00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:48,324
How can I be of assistance?
303
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:51,907
Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken
and the lobsters just flew the coop
304
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,624
so the steak is the last man standing.
305
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,291
It says here I can cut down the prep time
with a meat tenderizer.
306
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,544
Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?
307
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,336
-I'm looking at him.
-Ah.
308
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,460
Hoo-hoo in there!
309
00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,336
Hoo-hoo back to you!
310
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,840
Okay.
311
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:09,644
Finish the meat, find the lobsters.
I'll be right back.
312
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:12,561
I hope you're hungry.
313
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,889
Starved, is more like it.
314
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,394
My head is starting to feel woozy.
315
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,444
Were either of you aware
316
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,862
that married men are killing single men
at an alarming rate?
317
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,606
-What are you going on about?
-
318
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,905
And what's going on in there?
319
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:34,367
Who could that be?
320
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,213
Coming!
321
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,211
Oh, you didn't answer the back door.
322
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:40,921
For your upside-down cake.
323
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,921
Oh! Hi, I...
324
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,003
Who was that?
325
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,587
-A salesman!
-Telegram!
326
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,472
A man selling telegrams.
327
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,639
Wouldn't you know it.
Good news is more expensive.
328
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:53,681
I couldn't find the lobsters and did you
want the meat tender or pulverized?
329
00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:54,934
Oh, dear.
330
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,600
Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly.
331
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:02,522
Anyone for Parcheesi?
332
00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:05,568
-My head is spinning.
-Oh, Mrs. Hart...
333
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,029
Did you hear that?
My wife's head is spinning.
334
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,321
Generally speaking,
I don't like her head to do that.
335
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:13,744
Time to improvise.
336
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:18,405
You know, I'm beginning to think
you're not management material, Vision.
337
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:20,117
You know, I had high hopes for you.
338
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:23,837
But from what I've seen here tonight,
you can barely keep it together.
339
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,919
I mean, look around. There's all this
chaos going on in your household.
340
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,383
Now, when are we gonna eat?
341
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,046
Dinner is served.
342
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,427
VISION: Ah!
343
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,270
Breakfast for dinner?
344
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:38,766
How very...
345
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:40,191
European.
346
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,520
Ooh! Let's have a toast!
347
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:47,484
To my lovely and talented wife.
348
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,859
To our esteemed guests.
349
00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,315
Yes. Cin cin.
350
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,405
Cheers.
351
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,543
Well, please eat before it gets cold.
352
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,498
-MRS. HART: Hmm?
-Oh, Mrs. Hart, allow me.
353
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:02,418
So, where did you two move from?
354
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,131
What brought you here?
355
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:07,499
How long have you been married?
And why don't you have children yet?
356
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:16,716
I think what my wife means to say
is that we moved from...
357
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,515
Yes, we moved from...
358
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,443
And we were married...
359
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:24,228
Yes, yes, we were married in...
360
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:28,358
Well? Moved from where? Married when?
361
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,483
Now, patience, Arthur.
362
00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:31,778
They're setting up their story.
Let them tell it.
363
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,357
We...
364
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,581
Yes, what exactly is your story?
365
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,540
Oh, just leave the poor kids alone.
366
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:44,036
No, really, I mean,
I think it's a perfectly simple question.
367
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,961
Honestly.
368
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,253
Why did you come here?
369
00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:49,964
Why?
370
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,545
Damn it, why? Why did you...
371
00:18:58,472 --> 00:18:59,972
Oh, Arthur, stop it.
372
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,226
Stop it.
373
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:12,323
-MRS. HART: Stop it. Stop it.
-
374
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,202
Stop it.
375
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,117
Stop it.
376
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,252
Stop it.
377
00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,537
Stop it. Stop it.
378
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:26,674
Stop it.
379
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:28,835
Stop it.
380
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:29,959
Vision, help him.
381
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:45,977
Let me help you up.
382
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,478
Give me your hand.
383
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,571
All right, steady on, sir.
384
00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:58,239
Well, would you look
at the time?
385
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,775
Yes. We'd better be going.
386
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,160
Well... Are you both all right?
387
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:07,333
We had such a lovely time.
388
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,090
This guest is leaving your home.
389
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,552
You made me proud tonight, son.
390
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,425
First thing Monday morning,
you and me are gonna have a little chat.
391
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,639
We'll see about that promotion.
392
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:25,885
Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!
393
00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:29,562
MR. HART: Thank you.
394
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,322
Oh...
395
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,907
What a charming door knocker.
396
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,448
Good night!
397
00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:53,957
We are an unusual couple, ya know?
398
00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:55,916
Oh, I don't think
that was ever in question.
399
00:20:56,423 --> 00:21:00,763
Well, what I mean is...
We don't have an anniversary.
400
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,554
-Huh.
-Or a song.
401
00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:04,682
Or even wedding rings.
402
00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:06,135
Well, we could remedy that.
403
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,308
Today could be our anniversary.
404
00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,983
Of what? Surviving our first dinner party?
405
00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:13,523
Precisely. And our song could be?
406
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:14,897
Yakety Yak, naturally.
407
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:15,983
-Naturally.
-Hmm.
408
00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:18,653
And the rings?
409
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,530
Well, couldn't you make some for us?
410
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,706
I do.
411
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:32,792
Do you?
412
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,212
Yes. I do.
413
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:39,876
And they lived happily ever after.
28516
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