All language subtitles for Year.of.the.Comet.1992.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG.eng

Oliver?

Oliver?

I've been looking all
over the hotel for you.

Good morning, Mr. Kelleher.

It hasn't been morning
for over an hour.

Really?

Guess I must have stayed out a
little later than I thought.

Look, it's not that I don't
love standing here evaporating.

But we got a wine tasting
to be at in 30 minutes.

Oh, come on! You already own more wine
than you could drink in 10 lifetimes.

What is the point?

Owning a great bottle of wine is
like owning a piece of history.

The way I see it, you can
never own too much history.

I'll keep that in mind.

I thought 1964 was meant
to be rather a good year.

This tastes a bit goaty.

I don't mean to interrupt.

But in '64, the harvest began
the morning of September 17th

and shortly after those
dreadful rains began.

So whoever picked
early was unharmed.

If you are interested in '64
for tomorrow's auction, um,

I think you're better off
with the Petrus or Latour.

Really, my dear?

I think you'll find my daughter
is right, she usually is.

Thank you, Margaret.

Excuse me.

Yes.

You wouldn't have any Budweiser
back there, would you?

Um...

This is a wine tasting.

- Morning, Richard.
- Hi.

- Which one of those would you go for?
- Um...

Well, they're both very nice, but
that one's bloody brilliant.

I can't make up my mind
between the Maggio and the...

Excuse me.

Those are two different wines.

They are both red.

Gum?

Juicy Fruit '74.

You find this all
kind of amusing?

No, I find David
Letterman amusing,

this falls more to
the weird category.

Why are you here?

I got dragged here by Mr.
T.T. Kelleher.

Looks like he doesn't
like your wine too much.

Looks like nobody does.

You are quite
sophisticated, aren't you?

Absolutely, sophistication
is my strong suit.

Flirting with the customers, eh?

You won't understand this
concept, but I'm working.

Mmm.

You're just like your mother.
She was so, so American.

Can't believe Father
ever married her.

You know, Richard,
the only good thing

about being your half-sister

is that the other half isn't.

Do you know what gives me the
most pleasure in this world?

Fat men in high heels?

No, it's knowing what a bitter and
miserable old maid you're going to be.

Right.

- Goodbye.
- Thank you so much for coming.

Goodbye. Thank you.

Margaret, Richard and I have
work to do in the office,

you don't mind
tidying up, do you?

Not at all.

There's a good girl.

I thought we did
very well today, Father.

I rather
think we did.

You should be able to
accomplish the entire

swing through Belgium
in less than a week.

Yeah, I don't see any problem.

Yes, Margaret.

I've, uh...

Everything's straightened up.

Thank you, dear.

Now, when you're
finished in Belgium,

perhaps you'll go down to the...

What is it?

Father, please, when are you
gonna send me on a trip?

When you are ready.

I've been here almost a year, I am ready.
You know I am.

You catalog a wine cellar?

Get on your hands and knees
and scrub one, more like...

I'm sorry, I'm
afraid I must laugh.

You are a person of
very little quality.

Why do you both bicker so much?

We bicker because
we are jealous.

Richard is jealous of anyone
who is better than he,

which includes every
living creature.

I'm jealous because I really
care about wine. I love it!

And you treat me like a servant,

while he gets every
opportunity that comes along.

You are not ready to be
sent out yet, Margaret.

When you are, naturally, being
totally fair, I'll send you.

But you must remember
you're still a child.

Father, I'm 28 years old.

This desk is 112 years old.

- We don't send it to catalog wines...
- Now, that's quite enough of that!

Just be patient, your opportunity
will come in due time.

All right, Richard,
where were we?

So it's no then?

When you are ready, dear.

That's what I thought you'd say.

- This is my resignation.
- Ooh.

That is good news.

When your mother left and insisted
on bringing you up in America,

I allowed it.

It was a decision I always
suspected would haunt me.

But this...

You stop it now or I should become,
I promise you, very angry.

I don't enjoy threats
a great deal.

Neither do I.

Good bye.

Damn. Truly, truly, damn!

Father, we should
celebrate her going.

Celebrate?

She knows more about wine
already than you'll ever learn.

And she willingly does
the work of four.

But Harwood's has never been
represented by a woman.

Yes. Well, perhaps
that's something

we ought to think
about changing.

Margaret, enough of this!

A lawyer friend of mine acts for an
estate in Scotland, on the Isle of Skye.

His client and absentee
landlord has recently died,

and this lawyer has asked me
to dispose of the wine cellar.

Legal documents and other
data are all in here.

Oh, thank you, Father.

I swear I won't disappoint you.

That's quite enough sentiment
for one day, Margaret.

Come in.

These will have to do you, dear.

Oh, I'm sure they'll
be fine, thank you.

And I serve my suppers at 6:00.

The truth is, if you miss one
of my home-cooked meals,

you're probably better off.

On.

I'll keep that in mind.

I should be back if I don't have any
trouble finding the MacPherson Castle.

The MacPherson Castle?

Yes, what about it?

Long ago, people used to say...

Oh.

Never mind.

Nothing.

Dear Luis.

I know, I know this may be
hard for you to believe,

since I am at the
moment torturing you.

But you truly are one
of my favorite people.

So you must stop
holding back from us.

I'm not. I'm not.

No, you've discovered the
remainder of the formula.

Please, tell us where
you've hidden it.

Then we can all go back
to being friends again.

You must stop.

I have discovered nothing.
I beg!

Philippe, is this
really necessary?

Yes!

I know nothing. I know nothing.

No! No! Please!

I'm not an animal, Luis. I have
no intention of blinding you.

Foreign legionnaires do this.

Your vision, I promise,
will be as good as ever.

But every time you blink
for the rest of your life,

there will be an endurable
but rather sharp pain.

Philippe!

Not ideal timing.

I told you to rent a place where
we wouldn't be disturbed.

One visitor in five months is
not exactly a traffic jam.

I'll get rid of her.

I don't think you'll
be needing this, Luis,

- nor this.
- Ah!

Help! Help!

Madam has lost her way, is it?

I'm Margaret Harwood
of Harwood's Limited,

here to evaluate
the wine cellar.

Of course, the wine cellar.

Such a shame to have traveled
so far for so little reason.

The master is napping.

The truth is, he is quite ill.

Good bye.

The truth is, he is quite dead.

Deceased is the key word.

I'm sure you'll agree.

Of course, that is
the master's father.

But it's sad for us all, the
master is ill himself of grief.

But I will call your firm when
the mourning period is over.

Good bye.

But not farewell.

If you lock me out,
I'll come back

with every policemen
on the island.

I have a legal right to do my
job, and I intend to do it.

Won't you come in?

I'll be up here if you need me.

Thank you.

Ugh, great.

Oh, great! Looks like a wine
section from a 7-Eleven.

Oh, my God!

The year of the comet.

The year of the comet?
Are you sure?

Father, please,
please believe me!

There's no mistake,
it's all true.

But, my dear, 1811, that was
the most legendary year

in the history of wine.

And how large was
the bottle again?

Bigger than any bottle
I've ever seen.

Father, it was Napoleon's.

It had an engraved
crest near the throat.

Oh, this is just the most
exciting thing ever in my life.

And by the way, Richard, since
I'm sure you're listening,

I know how happy you
must be for me.

Couldn't be more thrilled,
darling sister.

Father, how soon do you
plan to auction it?

I'm not sure that's
the way to go.

I don't understand.

I may just offer it out right to our
American friend, Mr. T.T. Kelleher.

Why?

Well, he's our best customer, and
he's particularly fond of Lafite.

No one ever paid more than
$400,000 for a bottle.

I think if I phoned and he
offered me, say a million,

I'd be tempted to
let him have it.

$1 million?

Oh, and Margaret,
congratulations!

You've done rather well
on your first day out.

Oh, thank you, Father. Goodbye!

Do sit down, Richard. This
is good for all of us.

No, no, you totally misread me,
I am thrilled about Margaret.

Oh, we tease, you know, but...

It's all loving older brother to
adored younger sister for fun.

No, I'm concerned by
the Kelleher decision.

What could possibly concern you about
$1 million for a bottle of wine?

Well, I think Nivanos
might pay even more.

And since our job is to sell
items to the highest bidder...

I know you like
Nivanos, but I don't,

and furthermore, I don't
trust him either.

But surely...

Surely the final
decision is mine.

As it should be, Father dear.

This was not
supposed to happen.

I was only trying
to frighten him.

You make damn sure you
stop the bleeding.

He lunged into my knife.

Luis, I'm so upset.

Not as upset as Luis, I think.

This is dreadful.

We are now a long way
from research science.

I know.

Let him sleep.

I'm Oliver Plexico. I'm
here for the booze.

Hi.

Oh, my God, it's you!

Yeah.

What are you doing here?

Well, it's like I said, Margaret,
it is Margaret, isn't it?

I'm here for this bug juice.

So if you just hand it over,
I'll be gone before you know it.

How did you get in here?

The door was open,
so I walked in.

Look, I'm here for Mr.
T.T. Kelleher

who sent me for some
bottle of rotgut.

Now, as soon as I have
it, I'll say goodbye,

and you can get back to being
the international sex symbol

we all know and love.

I hand over nothing until
I check your credentials.

In the meantime, get out
of my retainers. Room!

Get out!

Mr. Kelleher actually
went for the million.

Oh, he more than went for
it, he was thrilled.

But he wants to verify the
bottle's authenticity himself.

Once he's satisfied,
he'll wire the money.

So then this arrogant ass he sent
is a legitimate arrogant ass?

Best to Richard. Bye-bye!

So what is it that
you do for Mr. Kelleher

that is above and beyond
bottle retrieval?

- Whatever is necessary.
- Wow.

Living, breathing
troubleshooter.

I don't mean to pry,

but didn't that occupation
go out with Errol Flynn?

Still a couple of us
arrogant asses around,

trying to keep the
traditions alive.

And how did you get up here
so quickly, Mr. Plexico?

I was in Glasgow on business when he
phoned me, so I flew a chopper up.

Very troubleshootery.

Are you married?

No. Why?

Just if you were
the poor bastard,

must be about two foot six from
all the hammering he takes.

Jamie!

Jamie! It's time.

Now, when you get the bottle,
what are you going to do?

I'll take it to the lake.

I row to Grandfather's
cabin, and I wait for you.

Perfect.

Ma!

May I kill them?

Oh...

What's a mother to do?

Only if you have to.

If that bottle's
broken, I'll just die.

Oh, thank God.

Jesus, it's a hell
of a big bottle.

Hello.

They are in the living room.

I told them the inspector
would be here momentarily.

Philippe, we should have never
let them in with Luis missing.

How wise you are now, John.

I didn't want a confrontation,

especially since what they came
for was one bottle of wine.

In, out and gone.

I'll second-guess you next time.

Ian, come on, they
are waiting for you.

Look, I'll make a
fool of myself.

I have the least notion of how
to be a police inspector.

And they don't know how Scottish
inspectors behave either.

Just question them quickly
and don't arouse suspicion.

Scottish?

Yes!

Come on.

Well, now, let me
get this clear.

You found him after you
opened the box or before?

After.

I see.

Well, thank you for your
help, it was indispensable.

That's it?

Don't you wanna ask me
any more questions?

Aye, of course.

But it's a wee bit complicated.

It's hard at the moment
to know what to ask.

But all I said was that I thought
the blood might be wine.

You did and I consider that
to be a most intriguing clue.

Some water, if you please.

Can't we just get
rid of them now?

Not till you've
questioned them both.

So, Mr. Plexico.

Perhaps you can shed some
further light on this.

Tell me everything
that happened from

your viewpoint, from
beginning to end.

- We found this stiff.
- Excellent.

Well, I think that's
more than satisfactory.

I have your addresses.
Goodbye and bless you both.

- Inspector.
- Aye?

If I ever return to
a life of crime,

I'm heading straight back here.

I'd love to help you with that,

but I'm not supposed
to lift anything.

Lower back.

Oh, great, I got Errol
Flynn with a slipped disk.

Actually, it's more
of a spasm thing.

Please, let me help you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank God that's over.

It hasn't begun!

- We need that box. Get the car.
- Why?

Before he died, I
think Luis scrolled

the rest of the formula
on the outside.

Mr. Plexico.

Within earshot, Miss Harwood.

On behalf of Harwood's,

I sincerely hope Mr.
Kelleher will be pleased

with this very rare and
extraordinary acquisition.

I enjoyed spending time
with you too, Maggie.

Oliver.

Yes, Maggie.

Oh!

Who are you? What do you want?

What are you doing?

Ah!

The shitty part about
being a troubleshooter.

He missed.

No. He just missed us.

Oh, no.

- You okay?
- Medium.

Good. Let's go before
he gets too far.

Oh, no. Not me, not
in that thing.

Hey, look. You said this
wine is important to you.

Well, I don't want
to lose it either.

So you can either come with me or
not, but you got to decide now.

Recognize the fellow?

I do, yes.

The lad's a menace. I'm surprised
they let him out of jail again.

He lives with his mother at
the little inn we passed.

Could he have planned
this himself?

That's doubtful, no. He's not
noted for his planning ability.

Shouldn't we go after him?

I think instead we might pay a
little visit to the mother,

and see if we can convince her
to tell us where he is going.

See, I find knowing
the destination

takes so much of the
guesswork out of pursuit.

Are you a good pilot?

My instructor thinks
I'm very promising.

Great.

What's wrong?

Which one is he?

There's nothing we can do but
buzz them until we spot him.

That's not our guy.

That's not him either.

That could be him.

And he's trapped.

- He is?
- He isn't?

Well, not unless he gets out
of the car and surrenders.

Truth is, all we can
do is follow him.

Follow him?

I would have thought a
genuine troubleshooter

would have come up with something
a little better than that.

What do you want me to do? Fly above
his roof and hover him to death?

Shit! Must have hit
the fuel tank.

- Maggie?
- What, what is it?

You ought to know something.

The first time I laid eyes on
you back at that wine tasting,

I wanted to sleep with you.

I'm sure you had
similar feelings.

Are you kidding?

Me sleep with you?

You're not even in the ballpark.

I need a kind man, a tender man.

A man whose very being is
brimming over with sensitivity.

A man who knows how to be a
friend as well as a lover.

A man who's not afraid to
show me his vulnerability.

Oh, my God.

- Are we gonna die?
- I think, maybe.

All right, I wanted you too.

Hold the good thought.

Ah!

No. Who bloody made
all the fucking mess?

Hey!

Your bloody
contraption's just battered my house

and scared the shit
out of my ewes.

What did he say?

Your flying machine has broken his
house and frightened his sheep.

Oh, you dumb bastard.

You dumb bastard.

Yeah, yeah, I got that part.

Look.

We are chasing a thief.

We need a car.

Can you help us?

Aye, well.

You have the look of
good, honest people.

Good, honest, rich people.

You think there's
any chance of finding him?

Finding him is not our problem.

I've checked the map, this is
the only road for 50 miles.

Catching him, on the other hand,
could be a little tougher.

That's his car.

Oh, and we've lost him.

Wrong. We've found him.

Look. There's our boy.

Try and keep up.

Untie it.

Shh.

The fog is
as thick as pea soup.

I've always wanted to say that.

Maggie, look out!

Oh!

Not the wine!

What happened?

Well.

He wasn't much of a swimmer.

But he had a hell of a grip on the box.
I couldn't pry it loose.

All right. Fine.

I'll get it. You just rest here.

Fine.

I'll just rest here, fine.

She's down there risking
her life, and I'm resting.

I can't do this.

You all right in there?

I'm fine, thank you.

Can I bring you anything?

I'm okay.

Well, if you need anything,
I'm right next door.

Maggie?

- Is that you?
- What?

I thought I heard something.

What?

Hey, hey!

Hold it right there.

Where do you think
you're going with that?

Oh...

Upon further investigation,

I found it to be a crucial clue,

and it must be returned
to the castle.

Yeah, right. That's a clue,
you're a police inspector

and I'm Herve Villechaize.

What?

You know, the little
guy in Fantasy Island?

That's gonna hurt.

Yep. There it is.

Oliver?

Oh, there you are.

I phoned London, and
I explained to them

about our little
overnight detour,

but I assured them that the
bottle was now totally secure.

Is there some reason
you're walking funny?

The bottle is gone.

Those guys from the
castle just stole it.

Don't be ridiculous,
it's in my room.

See, it's right there.

Well, then they stole the box.

Why would someone
steal a wooden box

and leave a $1 million
bottle of wine?

All I know is, I
just hate Scotland.

Yeah, it's about
a three-hour drive.

Yeah, no problem.

All right.

Yeah, 11:00?

Good. Okay, great.
Yeah, thanks, bye.

Hey.

You know, I love being summoned

in that suave, gentlemanly
manner of yours.

And it's Miss Hey.

What?

The company people are handling
your car and the chopper.

I have a plane ready
for us in the morning.

Great. I'll see you
in the morning.

I usually sleep on the right.
But I'm flexible.

My God, the arrogance.

What am I supposed to do,
fall into your arms?

Helpless, grateful
and quivering?

Quivering's good.

Is it your beauty or your charm
that makes you so irresistible?

Uh... Sixty-forty charm.

Do women actually fall for this?

A surprising number, yeah.

I fear I may have a
bit too much pride.

After all, in a week, you
won't even remember my name.

I can't remember it now.

Wait a second.

If this is based on
the fact that in

the helicopter I
said I wanted you,

well, at the time, I
thought we were gonna die.

I didn't see any need to
crush your fragile male ego.

Goodnight, Oliver.

Goodnight. Don't let
the bedbugs bite.

Oliver.

I don't know how to
break this to you.

But you're not as charming
as you think you are.

And you're not as clever
as you think you are.

And I'm certainly not as
desperate as you think I am.

Wait, wait. Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on.

Look, Maggie, you
got me all wrong.

I...

I don't think I'm that charming.

And I know I'm not that clever.

And I certainly don't
think you're desperate.

Besides, you probably have
a wife and three kids.

I don't even have a dog.

Look, Oliver.

I'm flattered, really.

But...

It's just not me.

I understand.

I'll see you in the morning.

Mmm.

I changed my mind.

Okay.

Maggie, could
you do me a favor?

Depends.

What have you done
for me lately?

Call the airport and see if
Kelleher's plane is ready.

All right, what's the number?

It's on a little piece of
yellow paper in my wallet.

Did you find it?

Yeah.

I'll call from my room.

Great, thanks.

Tell me something. In Scotland,
do you have to fly on the left?

Look, is it just me, or does it seem
like we stopped talking to each other?

Well, goodbye, Oliver, I hope
you have a wonderful life.

Excuse me?

Now that you have the
bottle safely to the plane,

I've decided to hang
around Glasgow for a bit.

Maybe I can pick up some
extra cash hooking.

Look, I don't know why,

but it appears that you're a little
upset about what we did last night.

And I am more than happy
to talk about it.

But I prefer to do it
once we're airborne.

Not that I'm superstitious, but
the last time I was on a runway,

I got the shit kicked out of me.

Ah!

Ah!

Excuse me.

Um, excuse me.

Please, do not be brave.

Oh, but that's not your bottle.

Oh, but my dear one, it is.

What a splendid-looking
woman you are.

Sensual.

The glorious aura of sex
emanates from your perfect body.

Leave this life of crime.

The whole world beckons.

Stop associating with
thieves and evildoers.

Ready, Nico.

I must go.

And it pains me.

In 10 years, you will be
even a greater marvel.

In 10 years more, young men
will fling themselves at you.

Hmm?

Are you okay?

Oh, I'm great.

After a beating, there's
nothing I enjoy more

than watching a woman
I just made love to

play licky-face with
some greaseball.

Oliver, they stole the wine.

I know, I was right here.

Well, what are we
gonna do about it?

Oh, now it's "we" again.

Oliver, follow their plane.

I can't believe we're
doing all this for a beverage.

Do you know people would cross
oceans to taste that wine?

I would give anything in the
world for just one sip.

Well, maybe you'll
get lucky someday.

You know, your ignorance
is very impressive.

That bottle is much too
valuable just the way it is.

It will never be opened.

I don't suppose we could
have rented a car instead.

Are you kidding?

The French Riviera in July?

We're lucky we're not
running after them.

Maggie, how badly do
you want this bottle?

Extraordinarily badly.

I was afraid you'd say that.

Do you have any idea
where you're going?

Yeah. Down.

Oliver.

That was incredible.

I do better when people
don't sneak up on me.

You know, it's amazing. It's like
there's nothing you can't do.

- What is it?
- It's my back.

I just threw it out
on the bottle.

Couldn't have been the bottle. My
God, you just fought four men.

I can hit all the people I want.

I'm just not supposed
to lift things.

Maggie, hit him with the bottle.

Hit him!

Hit him with the bottle.

Hit him!

Don't pay any attention
to him, my blossom.

What if it breaks?

I mean, technically, it still
might belong to Harwood's,

even though you did agree
to purchase it, we still...

Maggie, just hit him!

That was actually
kind of exhilarating.

Are you all right?

I can't handle a motorcycle.

I have to steal the Rolls.

What's French for chiropractor?

I just need a pick ax

To break your heart of stone

Et voilà, c'est parti! Vous
en faites pas, c'est sans danger.

Pardon.

Vous allez me dire sije
vous fais mal! Hein?

Ici?

No, no, no. That's not it.

Now don't be surprised,
Miss Harwood.

- Ow!
- Ooh, pardon.

Once we ascertained you
were headed for Nice,

it was really a simple matter
for our computer to discover

that you rented your motorcycle.

You know, you were very lucky to
get anything this time of year.

Keep her quiet.

I tried so hard to surprise you.

But you're too smart for me.

Help!

Look.

We stagger into the table

and knock it over.

We continue to fight.

- Là?
- Yeah, okay, that's it.

You even tear my trousers
in our struggle,

causing my wallet

with my address to fall
unnoticed into a corner.

Everybody says you're an angel

But it's the devil in your soul

You sang for me

Oliver! Oliver!

I was doing them a favor

In the end

Maggie?

Where's Eze?

Eze, Eze.

Ah, Eze.

- Eze, whatever, yeah.
- C'est facile...

Vous pouvez pas vous tromper!
C'est pas loin!

Where is it?

Vous prenez la route de la mer,
direction Villefranche Beaulieu,

et vous tournez à gauche
juste apràs Beaulieu.

Yeah, yeah, you can't
miss it, right?

Exactement!

Miss Harwood, relax.

This is not for you.

Come, our time has arrived.

I'm sure we look absurd
to you, Miss Harwood.

God knows we acted that way.

Leaving the bottle behind, but
we had no interest in it then.

We thought we only
needed the box.

We were wrong, dear.

The wine itself held no
interest for me because,

even though I am
obviously French,

the truth is, I
much prefer beer.

You should spend
time with Oliver.

I will.

Ian, a little higher please.

Luis had hidden the remainder
of a very important formula.

Right, yeah. That's right.

He died in the wine cellar,

trying to retrieve the
formula and make his escape.

And at first, we thought he
had written it on the box.

When that proved
to be incorrect,

we completely
ransacked the cellar.

Nothing was there of interest,
so we deduced that the formula

had to be with the bottle.

Apparently, we were right.

Do you know what this
is, Miss Harwood?

The death of death.

Well, I think

We have it.

Yes.

Philippe!

I'm sure that's it.

- Double-check.
- Yeah.

Your Oliver, Miss
Harwood, is he a bull?

When I was young, I was a bull.

Believe me, I know about the sex drive.
It is very strong.

You have my word, he will soon be
charging like a fool to your rescue.

Ian, escort the young
lady to her chambers.

Maggie!

Psst.

Maggie!

I came to rescue you.

Don't rescue me, it's a trap.

Sweet.

Sweet Maggie, I know
it's a goddamn trap!

The guy leaves his wallet
with his address hanging out,

you think the thought of a
setup doesn't cross my mind?

The point is,

I have somewhat bungled things.

So, you're gonna
have to rescue me.

Are you safe on that?

Define safe.

All right, here's the deal.

I'll save your life, that's
only fair, you saved mine.

Then we're quits. You have
no interest in what I want.

What do you want?

A man who really loves me.

- That's me.
- Bullshit.

I sense from your answer
that you don't believe me.

Stop being charming.

I got nothing else going
for me right now.

There's a 40-foot drop below me

and a crazy lady 10 feet above.

You were cruel to me when
you didn't have to be.

When?

After our...

After we'd... After
we were done with...

After sex?

Yes, right, correct.

You could have gotten the
phone number yourself,

you didn't have to
throw your wife at me.

I don't have a wife!

I saw the wedding photo.

That's my sister.

Don't make it worse.

She was married last spring.

I keep the photo because I
happen to love her, sue me.

Pathetic.

Now, you listen to me, Margaret.

I don't give a shit about wine,

and I promise you, I don't have
to work this hard to get a date.

When I first saw you, you were
this funny, overworked ragamuffin.

And I thought to myself, "Hey, a
funny, overworked ragamuffin."

I didn't have to fly
up for that bottle.

I volunteered. Now, why
do you think I did that?

Why should I believe
any of this?

A man fresh from
the chiropractor

crawls up the side of the
building to save your life!

This is not mass entertainment, Maggie.
It's got to be love.

What was that again?

You heard me.

Well, a woman likes to hear it out
loud and as frequently as possible.

I love you.

Okay?

I'm hopelessly,

totally in love with you.

And that's all you're
gonna get for now.

Grab hold, I'll pull.

You sure you're strong enough?

I've waited all my life
for you, Oliver Plexico,

I'm not about to lose you now.

Okay.

Ah!

Sorry about that, just
had to get my footing.

I'm fine now.

Let's grab that bottle
and get out of here.

It's locked.

I also do plumbing.

Bravo, Mr. Plexico.

That is what you want, I think.

I told you he'd come for you.
The power of sex, irresistible.

Thank you very much for this.

If only I could allow
you to leave with it.

I'm sorry, I don't believe a
gentleman like you would use that.

Believe him.

They were your friends!

We weren't that close.

What a charming couple
you two would have made.

Why are you doing this?

Money and sex. What
else is there?

Oh, Jesus.

So that's what this is all
about, human growth hormone.

Highest honors.

What are you saying, Oliver?

That is a version of the human
growth hormone molecule.

There is such a thing?

Absolutely.

You mean he wants to get bigger?

Younger. He wants
to get younger.

He wants his youth back.

I'm getting it back.

How do you know about this?

We experimented with age
reversal at Kelleher's labs.

And,

it doesn't work.

Yes.

But like everyone else, the formula
you were working with was flawed.

Is anything as romantic as
biogenetic engineering?

Imagine what the rich would pay

to have back the
bodies of their youth.

It started.

In a little while,

the power of youth will be
surging through my groin.

I'm going to entertain a
dozen different women.

And tomorrow night

and every night after that.

And now, I'm afraid it
is time for you to join

the other witnesses to
Luis' unfortunate death.

One thing, please, just one.

For the first time in
my life, I'm in love.

Now, all I'm asking is that you
let me propose before you shoot.

I never would have figured you for
such a romantic. By all means.

- Maggie...
- Oh, I accept, Oliver.

I haven't asked yet.

And since it appears I'm only
going to be able to do this once,

I'd like it to be done right.

Oh, is your back
acting up again?

Oh, it's killing me.

I can't believe I
climbed up that cliff.

I mean, if I'd known I was
gonna get shot anyway,

I could have just
rung the doorbell.

These places even
have doorbells?

Mr. Plexico, you're wandering.
It's too long, too long.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, Oliver, my heart is
bursting with anticipation.

What the
hell is going on?

Just keep stalling.

Maggie.

My beloved Maggie.

Maggie of my dreams.

Maggie, Maggie.

Maggie.

I know our time together
has been short.

♪ But there are chicks ♪

♪ Just ripe for some kissin' ♪

♪ And I mean ♪

♪ To kiss me a few ♪

♪ Man, those chicks ♪

♪ Don't know what they're missin' ♪

♪ I've got a lot of livin' to do ♪

♪ There's music to play ♪

♪ Places to go ♪

♪ People to see ♪

♪ Sizzlin' steaks ♪

♪ Are ready for tastin' ♪

♪ Those Cadillac cars, all shiny and new ♪

♪ Gotta move 'cause time is a-wastin' ♪

♪ There's such a lot of livin' to do ♪

♪ Life's a ball ♪

♪ If only you know it ♪

♪ And it's all ♪

♪ Just waiting for you ♪

♪ You're alive ♪

♪ So come on and show it ♪

♪ We've got a lot of livin' to do ♪

Did I kill him?

No, he's gonna be fine.

You see, that injection he took

doesn't actually
make you younger,

you just feel younger
for a while.

It's the ultimate high.

Unfortunately for him, it's followed
pretty quickly by the ultimate low.

We came up with the
exact same formula

as Luis at the lab
about 18 months ago.

At least our guys could sing.

How do you know so much?

Never said I didn't go to MIT.

Ladies and gentlemen.

This is obviously not going
to be an ordinary auction.

I'm afraid there has been
an inexcusable mix-up.

It seems that while I was selling this
magnificent bottle to Mr. Kelleher,

my son, Richard,
without my permission,

was simultaneously selling it to our
Greek friend, Mr. Spiros Nivanos.

However,

I'm happy to be
able to announce,

that having spoken with
all parties involved,

everyone has graciously
agreed to an open auction.

The bidding will
start at $1 million.

And now, if you would take your
seats, ladies and gentlemen,

we should begin very shortly.

How high are you gonna go?

Well, whatever it takes. That
bottle is going to Texas.

How is your back?

Well, better than your head.

So, how much is your boss
willing to spring for it?

I have no idea. Mr. Nivanos
does not like to come second.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, who will open the
bidding at $1 million?

One million two.

One and a quarter.

Two million.

Two, two.

Two, four.

Two, five.

$3 million.

Bastard's got no sense
of the value of money.

Three million, once.

Three million, twice.

$5 million.

Mr. Plexico,

I'm naturally not displeased
with your more-than-fair offer.

But, how can I put
this delicately?

Can you afford it, sir?

Ask him.

His mother founded the company.

He owns 80% of the stock.

I never said I was poor.

Further bids?

Then, sold to Mr. Oliver
Plexico for $5 million.

Oliver!

Directly in front of
you, Miss Harwood.

I take it, you are,

relatively speaking, well, compared
to the general public, well-off.

I do okay.

Then why did you go
through so much?

I enjoy the company.

Margaret, I'm proud of you.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

I'm afraid I have to
steal her for a moment.

Here we are, this is the young
lady I was talking about.

Oh, my God!

Oh, Oliver! You can't open that.

Why not? Napoleon would have,

he just didn't live long enough.

But it could be vinegar. I mean,
old wine often turns to vinegar.

Well, then we either have
a wonderful glass of wine

or a really expensive salad.

Consider this sort of a...

Oddball engagement present.

What do you say?

Oh, Oliver.

Oh.

Well, how about we
celebrate with a toast?

Anyone would like to join us,

the price is $10,000 a glass.

Your personal checks will
be happily accepted.

Make 'em out to your
favorite charity.

Maggie, can we get some glasses?

Oh, yes.

Glasses, please.

Thanks, buddy.

Maggie.

Doesn't look like vinegar.

Doesn't smell like vinegar.

Son of a bitch.

Exactly.